How to make a perfect E3 press conference (or drinking game) | Unraveled

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Polygon

E3 is here, and Brian David Gilbert has unraveled the 10 keys to a perfect press conference, which you could also use for a drinking game. Here are the rules: http://bit.ly/E3DrinkingGame Subscribe to our YouTube channel! https://goo.gl/D8prdf Like us on Facebook: http://bit.ly/PolygonFB Follow us on Twitter: http://bit.ly/PolygonTwitter Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/PolygonInsta And for more gaming and entertainment coverage, visit www.polygon.com

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Video Transcript:

III the Electronic Entertainment Expo what began as a humble videogame industry trade show has blossomed into something more spectacular more flamboyant more of whatever this is III is a chance to show off new games and the theatrical chops of your executives because that's what III really is now it's theater it's like cats the musical but with more guns and a better plot line but this III is Different a lot of companies are ditching the press conference altogether and those companies are cowards Sony isn't even showing up to e3 this year and it's not because they lack things to say it's because they have forgotten how to say it the industry has lost its way and that's why I'll be giving them the 10 keys to creating a perfect III presentation and then I'll be giving you the perfect e3 presentation [Music] it's theater baby the first step is throwing away everything you know about public speaking because III presentations are a beast of their own you have to watch them to learn from them you might ask Brian wouldn't learning from oldie threes keep you in the rut of old thinking making the same mistakes that past business geniuses have made no and that brings us to the board I have watched hours and hours and Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of III presentations and I have analyzed what makes them compelling I've distilled the essence of III down into ten simple keys if you include these ten keys you will create the perfect III presentation and if you like most people aren't putting on an e3 press conference then you could potentially use these 10 keys for like a drinking game or something I'm not saying you should do that I'm saying you could possible you Could do that if you wanted to it's not I did that okay you can use these for the drinking game the first key a weirdly high budget opener it is essential to start the presentation with high energy and it's essential to do it in such a way as to make the audience to say yeah wow they really paid for that huh Sony used to be great at this starting 2016 III with an entire orchestra playing the God of War theme and then last year they started e3 with An entire banjo player weird thing to spend money on but both of these intros still get bonus points because they started with a live musical number the second key is for the presenter they have the unenviable task of connecting with a notoriously difficult audience how can they reach the fickle gamer while still maintaining business poise business gamer fashion business gamer fashion is an outfit that is professional and yet still conveys the Idea that this person could be seen sitting on a couch for 14 hours at a time it says I'm one of you but I'm also way richer than you but the bonus points go to the one true business gamer fashion ill-fitting blazer diesel jeans gamer t-shirt the third key is set dressing this has to be theatrical which is to say inappropriate for a tray show take a look at Sony's weird barn Church it was like an immersive Theatrical experience but with the 10-minute scene transitions of a high school production of lame is but the bonus points go to live human set pieces like I don't know hanging bodies from the ceiling that flail around when a character moves through them on the screen there's that classic Sony magic I want to remind people that III is a trade show and this is kind of like if Disney held a press conference about the Avengers and then disintegrated a man Live on stage now we're moving into the meat and potatoes of the presentation with key number four numbers video games are just programs and programs are just numbers and for some reason gamers love it when numbers are big a few good numbers to say our polygon counts amount of enemies on screen Ram maybe I don't know who gives a [ __ ] honestly bonus points go to saying a number that's completely devoid of context because numbers mean innovation key number five More specifically less specifically I need this to be the vaguest discussion ever I need you to make claims about how you're doing something that's never been done before and then not tell us what you're doing here's a list of innovative words and phrases it's the presenters job to say each and every one of these but the bonus points go to the purest form of expressing innovation looking up at the screen behind you looking back at the audience And saying WOW key number six is the game trailer montage you've probably never heard of these games before you might never hear of them again but the bonus points go to the game trailer montage at the end of the presentation which is just showing you everything you've seen so far set to an arcade fire sound alike these six keys are the foundation of a solid e3 presentation you hit these six you're in the clear but you haven't achieved perfection yet But before we get into the final four let's talk about the notable absences these are the anti keys things you'll never see in an e3 presentation I've got a list of them here yo what's this it's just a single entry that says a legitimate discussion about how to address the crunch crisis that's prevalent in nearly every game studio well I guess we don't need these anymore and now it's time for the final four keys these are the truly special Moments they're hard to build in but they turn a good presentation into a transcendent one key number seven a wi-wo' game this is an acronym that stands for what hell yeah what and it's used for a game that makes you go what hell yeah what often these are for games that are totally independent but the best ones are for weird entries into beloved franchise like the Final Fantasy 15 VR fishing game even now when someone tells Me there's a final fantasy 15 VR fishing game I go what hell yeah what but the bonus points you know what actually no you only get bonus points if you make a VR fishing game for a beloved franchise I want to watch the doom Slayer catch a bass but sometimes the presenter has a wi-wo' moment and that's why key eight is heartfelt emotion genuine excitement about a game joy sadness this has to happen naturally honestly if I'm having a rough day I will go back and watch the Video of Ubisoft developer Davide solely on e crying when shigeru miyamoto complements him on stage because that is the realest and most joyful moment honestly who wouldn't burst out crying if Shigeru Miyamoto the architect of many of our childhoods complimented them you know that that tiny thing that that reminder that these people behind the games are human beings and can be emotionally moved by the same experience that they get to share with you what Could be better than that if they farted that's why key number nine is gaffes gaps are integral to e3 so much so that they're split into three different categories the first is technical gameplay going arrive cameras cutting back to early Mike's not getting shut off the second category is human awkward pauses stiff actors weird phrasing these stick in your brain forever honestly it feels like They are planned in order to be me mobile and rememberable met and and memorable memorable god I can't speak today or can i the third category is planned gaps I'm about to blow this whole thing wide open everyone can quote at least one III gap even people who do not know who Reggie Fiza may is have probably said my body is ready at least once in their life and you want to know what that is guerilla marketing the only reason there Are so many gaffes and III presentations is to make you share the gaps you might not remember the good presentations but you sure as hell laughed at the messy ones the gaffes are an inside job to make you buy more video games so honestly I'm just gonna assume that all of these are planned from here on out in order to make you talk about them online except for when Todd Howard says something that's weirdly horny you never know when you'll need a free hand That's just Todd bonus points for horny Todd and the final key the Big Finish this is a game announcement that falls purely into the fanservice bucket it is unimaginably amazing incomprehensibly great unbelievably too good to be true and honestly it's because it probably is too good to be true the presenter is gonna say and one more thing and then they're gonna show a trailer that's probably a landscape shot maybe some voiceover and then just a title screen Bonus points if it literally is just a title screen and then that game is probably gonna be stuck in development hell for seven years and maybe not get released ever but isn't that what we want as gamers to be disappointed and those are the ten keys to a perfect e3 presentation follow these and you can do no wrong and if you aren't doing an e3 presentation again you could potentially use them as a drinking game it's not like I wrote up all the rules already And you can click and you can play them along with us we're gonna watch all the you three presentations and to prove the power of these keys here's my perfect III presentation Sony go ahead and just plug your trailers into the placeholders I set up for you [Music] does a gamer walls capable to be what to skate [Music] does a game the games we make our Powerful never been done for so let your inner gamer out we'll open up the door I know you'll love these games because I love these games too and it feels the best when there's an exciting gamer inside you Hunter hunter let me get off of a seat she says hunter get it good afternoon and welcome to unraveled games e3 press conference as a gamer myself you can tell by the shirt I'm so excited to share these fresh gaming innovations With you all today but before we get to the fun part let's talk some business and put on my blazer let's talk about how we're changing the game of games the new unravelled engine has allowed us to create experiences that are more detailed than ever before I'm talking about 1200 enemies on screen concurrently over 49 meagan pixels of screen dissolution 62 gign boats of RAM and 720,000 I know it sounds like science fiction but it's science fact Why don't we highlight a few of the games that are coming out on the unraveled engine we can go to the next slide gen gen we go to the net next gen first up unraveled research to fans loved the experience of creating spreadsheets about video game lore but in this immersive sequel you can do that with a mustache Wow and that's not all we have explaining your job to your relatives simulator the dark souls of simulation games Experience the terror firsthand of trying to explain to your uncle that you work in a very niche unstable industry but with graphics so lifelike you'll feel like you're living in the world of the game no Uncle Bob I don't make the video games I just make videos about them no they aren't the trailers terrifying and finally something groundbreaking something that seems impossible but we did it I hope you come along with us on this journey of B D G Goes fishing for the first time in VR I got the rest of the press conference to go through you could fly it down please but is that all we've got for you not in the slightest now it's time for us to show you some stuff from the company that didn't do the presentation and let us do all the hard work for them hit it Wow you know I'm gonna go off script a little bit I it just I've it means so much to me to be up here on this stage In front of you it's all it's been a dream since I was a kid to be presenting something at e3 and to have you here in the audience to feel the support that you've given unraveled games is honestly it's I never in a million years thought that I could have found Jesus Hunter don't trip can't dammit ok that's it thank you all for coming except we've got one more thing for you we've been working on something very special with some very special people from the Visionary minds of David cage and Peter Molyneux we have teamed up with publisher Konami to release an exclusive on Soulja Boy's gaming console you know what I won't bore you with the business details I'll just let you see the trailer yeah I think it's time [Music] thank you all so much for coming thank you have a grade III [Music] See um forget it that's broke a laptop that's fine for good this is the most intense we're not allowed to do this show anymore

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