When You Just Ain’t Got it All Together

morning Dwayne here Dr Creek Wrangler School um let me ask you a question at what age should you have it all together at what age should you have it all figured out I get a lot of mostly young men on the channel and they're from 17 to 35 36 39 and they Lament that they're at a place in their life and they don't have it figured out and they don't have it all together and they Wonder what's wrong with them because they don't have it figured out they don't have it all together of course you don't have it all together you're not supposed to have it all together you're not expected to have it all together anybody looks at you at 26 27 28 years old and says hey man what's wrong with you how come you don't have everything figured out they're a fool um knowledge and experience and wisdom takes time wisdom comes from experience and experience takes time the more experience you have and the more you learn from that experience the wiser you can get if you haven't lived long enough to have a broad enough portfolio of experience than you can expect to have knowledge and wisdom we we are told by society today and it's inferred by movies and television programs that by the time you're 26 or 27 you should be graduated from college you should have a degree you should have a good job you should have a wife and you should have it together we watch these programs in their you know this movie it's an hour and a half long and within an hour and a half a person goes from a goofed up teenager to someone who's just settled and got it all going on and they they get the job they put their childhood bully in his place they get the girl Fade to Black and we're left to imagine the rest of their life and what we imagine is left with the last thing that we see man they got it together of course we don't consider the fact that if you turn the TV off and watch the news you'll see those same actors show up in the news again and again making stupid mistakes and they ain't got it together a pine tree grows and matures very fast an oak tree grows and matures very very slow but which one lasts longer and which one is stronger which one shelters more Critters and more birds which one when it's done and over and it's cut down which one is more valuable for the lumber people don't go outside I'm going to spend extra money for some Pine furniture they want oak furniture um there's a lot of sentiment expressed on the channel um boy Dwayne I sure wish I wished you'd have been my dad no you don't um no you don't um there's cinnamons expressed on there expressed on there um that you know I'm flattered I'm flattered but I I know better I don't take it serious um nobody bursts from their mother's womb ready for the world nobody burst from their mother's womb aged and mature and wise and I'm not wise I'm not saying I'm wise I just say that happened that's why that happened so man maybe we ought not do that I don't know to me that's a kind of a a shallow easy definition of wisdom but I I'm 55 years old and I'm just now starting to get a little bit figured out there's a song that Ian Tyson sings and if you like cowboy music and you're not familiar with Ian Tyson y'all look him up but he's got a song called the old Double Diamond and it's about an old cowboy that the ranch he's worked on for years is getting sold and there's a a and he said he says on there said when I first hired on to the old Double Diamond I was a darn poor excuse for a man yeah Mama's laughing back there I I edited that for you uh it says I never learned how to aim when the spirit was tame I couldn't see all the cards in my hand well son a lot of what your difficulty is right now is you have not yet learned how to aim while the spirit is tame and you can't see all the cards in your hand it's not saying the cards aren't there it's just you haven't matured enough to see them and there will come a time you keep going and you keep learning and you keep growing uh that one day you'll look down in the card you needed was there and it's been there all along but that ain't gonna come for a while and my encouragement to you is stop being so hard on yourself you know one of the things I have um encouraged my wife in for years and she's a very natural mother all right and she has a natural tendency to take care of people and to worry about stuff and I've had to tell her over the years look that's not your burden to carry that's not your burden to carry you have enough burdens at your young age that are rightfully yours for you to worry about carrying carrying that you don't need to worry about carrying the burdens that are going to come when you're 50. or 55 or 60. you can't even begin to think about having things figured out and having it together until you're in your 50s just don't even worry about it just don't even worry about it you've got to have maturity and maturity comes with time and maturity is not something that you can gin up artificially is not something that you can be responsible for for not being jammed up artificially you don't want to have to do you have to live you just have to live you just have to live you just have to act your age if you're 26 b26 stop trying to be 56.

it's not expected and it's a burden that you don't have to carry you're a young couple and you're going through some some things and you're like man we must be the worst couple in the world we must be the worst um married folks out there this has got to be man we just ain't got of course you ain't got it figured out when you hit 30 you still ain't 30 years of marriage you still ain't gonna have it all figured out my wife and I are still trying to figure stuff out um and we just take it as it comes and we learn and we mature and we grow and it takes time but you'll not get there if you quit fellas you'll not get there if you quit if you just say forget it you know I just I can't be the man that I wanted to be well of course you're not right now you will not be the man that you want to be until you grow into it you have to grow into it so the whole point of this video is just to encourage you chill out man just chill you guys that are contacting me and saying man I I don't I'm you know I got a degree and I just lost this job listen and I'm not making light of it okay let me just put in perspective all right I've got five grand babies now one of those grandbabies is let's say that grandbaby is 14 months old and they're learning to walk okay and so they're kind of they're just in a diaper you've seen it you know they're just in a diaper and they're going across the kitchen floor to Mama and they're kind of weaving a little bit and that their little fat feet and their little fat thighs are just kind of Funk don't don't and all sudden they're like oh oh and they got the bubble butt out here the bubble stump tubby tummy out here and they got the big old diaper in the back so they're not balanced all right and so they lose their balance and they're like oh oh oh bam and they fall down and land flat on their butt and they look shocked and they look surprised and then their face screws up and they start crying bloody murder that's the worst thing that has ever happened to them in their life it's like it's like a disaster of apocalyptic proportions because it's all they've ever known and you've just gone through a breakup and it's the worst thing you've ever been through and it's a disaster of apocalyptic proportions because you haven't had the time and the experience yet to develop worse and to turn around and look at that in relation to the realities of a long life well lived and one day you're going to try and look back and you're going to say that really wasn't such a disaster and in fact that was probably the best thing ever happened to me some of you you lost your job and you thought that job was it and it was a good paying job and you went four years of college in order to get the degree to get that job then you got the job and then covet happened and or layoffs and different stuff and now all of a sudden you lost that job it's the worst thing you've ever been through and so all of a sudden you're sitting there and you're thinking man I thought my life was together now it's in shambles at my feet no it's not no it's not it's not it's all right it's all right you're not supposed to have it together all right those who go to college get out of college get a job and stay in that job until they retire then retire and buy property down in Florida that's an anomaly that's not normal it happens but it's an anomaly uh and uh and most those people you know they might be really good people but they ain't got cool stories to tell and you don't get wisdom you don't get wisdom past a certain point by living that life okay um so two or three years ago I I made a whole series of really really bad decisions really bad decisions and and it brought me to the point at 50 over 50. over 50 where I was like I ain't got it together I'm not mature I'm not growing I'm not the man I'm supposed to be and I started working on it and the man that I am today the father that I would be today if children were to come along today that's not the man I was before and that's not the father I could have been before okay a blade a blade does not become strong it does not become tempered until it's been through the fire until it's been through the fire several times and this is just your first or second time to the fire and there's a lot of hammer work that has to take place and then you're going to have to go back in the Forge again and it's hot and it melts you down and you're uncomfortable and then life is going to pull you out and it's going to put you on the Anvil and it's going to hammer on you some more and you're going to say what am I done yet am I a sword for the ages oh no no you're not uh you're not done yet all right so just chill just chill continue to have fun now by fun I'm not recomming you go out drink your brains out at the bar and do something stupid but my goodness go hunting go fishing get a mountain bike go hiking go to the gym go hang out around barbecue five or friends and just act silly and act Goofy and be your age be your age and uh and just embrace the process and don't look for what you're supposed to be fully completely polished sharpened edged tempered at 26. or 36.

at 46.