Masculine and Feminine Energy is A Balance | Nana Ponceleon | TEDxEvansStreet

thank you do you like to drive fast one bright sunny afternoon I am cruising along the highway in Caracas Venezuela that crosses the entire city at 1 000 meters above sea level I'm in a 1970s silver Mustang thick tires powerful engine mirror tinted windows so you couldn't see who was inside when I hear another sports car three young men about my age I'm 18 years old by the way I go like oh not today Nana and then I go why not I'm kind of late for class so off we go we're down the highway side

by side reaching the end of the highway and I know we can't go into that curve at that speed so we both began to slow down and then my ego says lower the window roll it down as a 1970s car right I wave and they go damn it's a girl well yes my dad had taught that girl how to fix a car and how to drive it too I could fix almost anything as he did I didn't need a man so I thought many years later I am a successful corporate woman making a lot of

money married two beautiful girls the lifestyle and my severe migraines which a couple of times ended up in calls to EMT because I couldn't see my health was suffering as much as my marriage if anything broke in the house I would get the toolbox and fix it and I would say to my husband yeah of course I fixed it I told you two days ago then we would be going to a party to have fun and I would say there is a shorter way you know I wanted to control everything and everyone I was a

dutiful Mom full of shoulds and don'ts little by little my husband and I were becoming roommates I was in pain but stoically hiding it I looked for help for me for us and I found this event that he agreed to go to and the speaker was telling this woman in the audience you are controlling critical you are sad and unfulfilled because you're living mostly in your masculine energy and suppressing your feminine by then my tears were just flowing uncontrollably and my husband and I met during the break we were sitting separate both with red puffy

eyes barely able to see each other in the eyes and it took a couple of more years and we finally got a divorce the pain and the hurt of 23 years was too deep and for too long clearly I was out of balance because being self-sufficient ambitious independent an empowered woman as they say didn't mean I needed to be aggressive or want to push my husband away or say I didn't need a man so I became obsessed with learning about feminine and masculine energy I heard over 2 000 hours of podcast videos audio books I

read a hundred papers and other books and I learned that the feminine and the masculine are present in men and women as well they are Polar Opposites but at the same time they are complementary we all need and should use both energies and as energies you can't see them but you can see how they manifest like electricity on the light bulbs creativity inclusivity receptivity love inclusion are some of the traits of the feminine energy single Focus problem solving finding utility in things and conquering are some of the traits of the masculine energy and by the

way this has nothing to do with gender or gender preference we all have these energies we all need them and we all need to use them equally so then I decided to make my hobby my new career and I became an actress corporate sales to acting my mom wasn't too happy about that still isn't but um so you probably all know that as actors we use our bodies a lot to open up to free ourselves we are vulnerable every day auditions rejections auditions rejections and we say things we wouldn't dare say in real life I

learned that I was practicing I was actually doing feminine energy without even knowing it through the acting and I was doing it five days a week for two years I learned that you can't think your way into the feminine you have to feel it with every cell in your body and that was what acting was doing for me I was feeling everything intensely one of the most valuable things I learned was about receiving every time I got a compliment after an exercise and people say oh that was great I would go like oh no no

but I think I should have oh maybe I could and my teacher would say Nana take it in shut up and listen all you can say thank you all I can say is thank you well it so happens that neuroscientists Dr Andrew huberman from the huberman Lab podcast said it turns out that the most potent form of gratitude practice is not a gratitude practice where you give but rather where you receive gratitude he said that it there were studies that showed very robust effects on the prefrontal networks that showed a much more potent event and

effect when you receive gratitude when you receive thanks when even when you see someone receiving help it is much better for your brain than giving gratitude than giving thanks than even making those long gratitude lists that we are told that we should do at night receiving is better so learning that science has proven now that receiving has a much more beneficial impact on your brain than giving just shows scientifically that receiving is extremely important yet to receive especially from a man it's one of the hardest things for most women today some of the women that

I have helped report experiencing the same thing as I have there is a sense of calm ease balance when you use more of your feminine one of them actually during our session a couple of weeks ago she said to me I thought I was never going to be able to work with those men without leaving the place on the verge of a panic attack now I think they actually like me and all I did was bring my masculine and my feminine to every sales visit sales visit we think we can't do this in sales yes

we can so can you ladies be coming fully and completely aware if you are solving problems most of the day achieving goals trying to control everything finding what is useful instead of what is beautiful you will be able to determine if you are mostly in your masculine energy and if you are you have to find this calm ease and relaxation through one of the greatest tools which is receiving there are many but receiving is one of the most important ones and once you receive you open up and of course this is very important if you

are safe and if you feel safe this is a very important thing to consider allow yourself to receive everything that comes your way a nice compliment a ride back from you know work to home and if someone you love is trying to help you and you usually say oh it's okay I got it no no don't worry just take a breath or two if you feel this inkling and urge to say no and look them straight in the eye and say yes I would love for you to help me I promise you a new relationship

with that partner a family or friend is on the other side of that yes receiving is essential for the feminine and The Feminine is essential for life masculine and feminine energies should be valued and used by all of us equally in order for us to contribute to collaborate to cooperate and create a shared beautiful world together and I still like to drive fast by the way thank you [Applause]