Life Update and Q&A

hello it's Ruby and today I'm going to be doing a very long overdue Life update and Q&A um I've got so many questions since leaving Oxford about what my plans are for this year what I'm doing next so my initial plan for this year had been to do PhD um and I applied for it back last January so finished first term and spent basically the whole of the Christmas holidays working on my application for my PhD um it was like every single day I was working on it when I started Oxford I had no plans

of actually even doing a PhD like I was going to do the Masters and then I didn't know what I was going to do after that but I wasn't planning on going into Academia and then when I was at Oxford I was like oh my gosh I love this so much I really want to do a PhD and so I started working my PhD application and I submitted an application in December ready to start in September and then and literally I didn't talk about any of this I'm really sorry all of this is quite new

but um I then got accepted onto the PHD program at Oxford which was crazy mind-blowing so my plan had been to go straight from my Master's into my PhD and the whole way through the year that's what I thought I would do but obviously here we are in October and I'm not at Oxford I'm um in Step working basically like this was this was one of the hardest decisions I think I've had to make um because doing the PHD and staying in Oxford was the most appealing thing and it makes me giddy with with excitement

like as I as I think about it now it makes me excited it makes me me um like I and part of me really really wishes that I was there in Oxford at the moment but ultimately in the final month before my dissertation was due my mental health was just really not in a good place um and I was really struggling with my mental health and I was looking towards the future I was looking towards like doing the PHD um in September and I just didn't feel like I could do it um considering where my

head was I just didn't think it was the right idea and so I made the really difficult decision to withdraw my application um which I still kind of can't believe I did I put off doing it so so much like I'd sit down in the evening and I'd say okay I'm going to with my application tonight and then I just wouldn't do it because I was so on the fence about it and the idea of withdrawing an application like when I've been accepted into my dream University felt so like ridiculous so this is my application

uh that's here's my Master's application and then here's my Dill congratulations on completing your offer um but I'm actually going to withdraw it I spent such a long time on the application for my defa over the Christmas holidays like it was very intense thought about it so much and I'm going to withdraw my application and reapply next year or in a couple of years instead um just because I don't feel like now was the right time to do it and I think I Rush my application too much got a job light up which I've accepted

which means I w't be able to do the anyway um but I've been putting off doing the actual withdrawal of my application because like part of me can't believe I'm actually withdrawing it by withdrawing application you're confirming no longer should be considered for a place you will not be able to apply to the schooles again in the admissions Cycles this is like permanent I know um and then it's asking me to [Music] withdraw crazy like I don't know and just like all of the information coming through and everything and I'm getting all of these emails

from Oxford saying that we can't wait to welcome you and like part of me is excited and wants to go and just wants to accept the offer but I know I know in my heart that it's like a bad idea and that I shouldn't I just know you know when you kind of you have a gut sense and I don't often go with my gut I usually go with my head but I'm really trusting my gut on this one and I feel like there have been so many signs that I shouldn't I shouldn't do the

def this year so I'm going stick stick with my thoughts okay 3 two 1 submit are you sure you want to withdraw your application for def English I don't know why it feels so such a big deal okay yes withdrawn around the same time I was also offered a job and so I basically made the decision to not do the PHD this year and instead to work this year and then next year to apply for a PhD um so I'm kind of in the process at the moment of putting together my application again um and

I also think it was a really good idea to wait because my application has changed and I just feel like more certain about what I want to study which is important and I kind of rushed into it a little bit and I don't think you should do that with PhD application because obviously it's three whole years of your life that you're dedicating towards this one thing and so I think it was the right decision that I made ultimately even though it was a hard one and that brings us on to this year so as I

say I've got 9 to 5 3 days a week and I'm really enjoying it so far um it's like incredible fun I also do like how it's very different to Academia and it feels like a break from Academia but also I'm gathering good experience and it's really nice to kind of get experience working a 9 to5 because jobs that I've had in the past have never been 9 to5 in person and this is so it's very different and I'm enjoying the challenge of it even though it is and can be quite training yep so that

is my life update um and I'm not going to answer some question questions um I feel like there was like kind of a lot there it's also cool because I've got some fun projects lined up for this year and I probably wouldn't have been able to do those if I were doing PhD it's funny because I do feel like so busy at the moment um like over the summer I had such a restful summer because I was so burnt out after doing the master's degree but now I started my job and I just feel like

it's really hard to like balance everything at the moment um and so I'm really trying my best to keep on top of creating consistent YouTube videos stationary company and then job and PhD appli and I'm hoping that my routine will get better going forward because it's been a little bit ha Hazard but I think it's going to get better I'm sure it will um question number one do you think you will still be an influencer in 20 years I would be very surprised if I was what are you writing fiction SL novel wise um this

is a really good question and um I've got to say that writing has really fallen on the Wayside recently um I meant to write all summer and then I didn't because I was really burnt out as I say um so at the moment though I just kind of turned back to the writing projects that I had on the go beforehand and I'm currently working on a middle grade book and also a dark Academia novel and I've been working on these both for quite some time um but I'm still not happy with them and so yeah

it's kind of like an ongoing process and I'm about to start a rewrite of both like I want to write them entirely again because I'm not happy with them so that's where I am and I'm really trying to get back into consistent writing again because I really fell off as I say how do you find yourself in an adult life I think the important thing about approaching adult life is to still approach it with the Wonder and curiosity that you have when you're a child I hate that so many people lose that my therapist said

something really insightful and so I'm going to share with you um she said it's so funny when people grow up they tend to like lose the good parts of being a kid and gain the bad parts of being an adult as opposed to focusing on the good parts of being an adult and then trying to retain the good parts of being a kid and I think that's what we should all strive to do where are you thinking of applying for your PhD my Top Choice where I really want to study is Oxford um because I

loved Oxford so much and I love all the libraries and there are also resources there which will be really really helpful with what I want to study what are your favorite books what are you currently reading I've got a whole video on like my top 200 favorite books which really I need to update at this point because I filmed that two years ago and there are at least like 30 more that I could add um what I'm am I currently reading at the moment though I'm reading fortnite in September by RC sheriff and oh my

gosh it's so good it's basically like the most slow paced and mundane book a little bit like die over with nobody but more Charming it's this family that's going on their yearly family holiday they take it for 2 weeks every September and they go to the same Seaside place and it's just like going through the motions of a family trip and I love that nothing really goes wrong like it's not like there's a big plot twist or anything it's just like the Simplicity and the beauty of a family trip and um it's so wonderful are

you doing a yearly planner next year yes that will be coming in December which is very exciting and so it's basically like the academic planner but it's instead um like running from January to December and the spreads aren't quite so academic so it's tailored more for people who aren't in education but you could also use it in education how is it to be back home I'm really enjoying it um and I really like being at home um like I love being at home I know that it's such a huge privilege to be able to stay

at home and I feel very lucky I feel very grateful that I can um and yeah I'm really enjoying being at home I get on very well with my family and I'm very lucky to get on very well with my parents and so um yeah I'm just really enjoying being back after being like at Uni last year absolute favorite Oxford experience that's such a great question I've got to say one thing I absolutely loved was the burns Night Celebration that we had at Jesus um and I went with one of my closest friends we just

had such a great time like um was laughing so much everything was just like and it was also just like the most incredible ceremony um it was all done traditionally and um somebody came out like shaking these I think they were vodka bottles I'm not entirely sure and then um they sang this poem by rabbie Burns and um someone played a bagpipe it was really really incredible and um just like felt kind of unreal how's Lola Lola's very good actually she's quite poly today because she jumped up on the side and ate a whole macro

last night but other than that she's doing very well where do you buy your beautiful stamps I buy my postage stamps from Royal mayil direct you can just like look on their special Collections and they are all the same price as normal ones so you should always buy special collection ones and my other stamps like press stamps I love to get them from newly Bird that's probably my favorite place but I often buy them on eBay too if you could would you live in the Victorian era no because I was just so much wrong with

life then there are parts that I definitely romanticize that's not to say that the whole period can be romanticized um like there were very very serious problems um in terms of like discrimination inequality and Healthcare Etc so no I would not like to live in Victorian period for people who love J now what other books should they read that are similar um you should try Rebecca by dafhne deoria I would say that that's the most similar one I'd also recommend glass towns which is a graphic novel in ired by the juvenil of Charlotte Bronte have

you ever been insecure about your personal style um I have been because I mean this is quite normal like I wouldn't I wouldn't feel insecure going out in this but in the past I have had people say some semi- nasty things about what I'm wearing when I was younger when I was at school I did have some people saying quite like semi mean things about the things I would wear and that did make me feel insecure but not to the extent that I actually would change what I would wear um um I mean sometimes I

do feel insecure if I go into a space and I'm dressed very differently from other people but I am quite comfortable with it and um I very much believe in like wearing things just because you like them and so I think just like that General approach is able to keep some of the insecurity at they but sometimes I feel uncomfortable definitely I feel uncomfortable is it easy to make friends at Oxford University what does life look like there I found it easier to meet new people than I did at ex and that's because the classes

are very small like on the Masters we had 15 people I think it was 15 in our cohort and we had classes with those people so inevitably you grew to get to know like the people in your cohort and then separately from that even without signing up any extracurriculars you meet people in college um because it's a Collegiate system you've got all of these different colleges at Oxford University and so I was at Jesus and um like I met you just meet people through your college because you're seeing them around every day and there aren't

that many people per college I think there were like 400 students in Jesus okay I'll answer one more because I'm going up to London with my mom and I will be late if I don't at what age did you start drinking tea and caffeinated tea so I actually really did not like tea until I was about 18 which is kind of crazy I can't believe I was so no maybe 17 I was in year 13 which is actually quite late I absolutely hated tea before that unless it was jasmine tea I like loved jasmine tea

and I started drinking jasmine tea when I was eight um but that was the one that I would drink funny enough it was bird and blend that got me into tea um because and this was back when it was called like Sky Bird or something it used to be called something else and my dad would pass the shop every day on his way to work and so he looked in the window and he saw that they had a pumpkin tea and I loved pumpkin so he he brought it home he brought home this like pumpkin

tea for me and I tried it and I really liked it and that's when I got into like tea Beyond jasmine tea um so yeah which is quite which is quite quite fun especially because B blend is now my favorite Tea Company and I've worked with them and um released a tea with them so very bizarre but I got properly into tea I would say when I was about like 19 like that was when I started drinking tea religiously and a lot of the time but anyway thank you so much for watching this video um

I hope that you I don't I never like to say I hope you enjoyed watching when it's Q&A cuz that just feels weird but thank you for watching and I hope that you have more than just a productive PE