How to Beat SELF DOUBT, Pick Yourself Back Up, and FINALLY Break Free From SADNESS | Marie Forleo

hi Marie how do you deal with the daily battles of fear and self-doubt in business how do you ultimately channel that energy into selling yourself your product or your service even though you may not fully be confident in yourself thanks so much Malia Malia great question I especially love that you didn't ask how do I become constantly confident you ask something way better which is how to work through that lack of confidence and continue to move your business ahead you know one of the biggest myths out there is that you have to be confident to

be successful that is so not true every Creator who consistently takes risks and shares their ideas and produces work feels fear and self-doubt I feel fear and self-doubt on a daily basis and a little reality check here those daily battles do not go away with time experience or even massive Fame you know Grammy award-winning artist Adele has talked publicly about projectile vomiting on someone in Brussels and then another time in Amsterdam she got so scared she escaped out the fire exit if you're an artist or an entrepreneur fear and self-doubt are going to be your

lifelong companions so the question remains how do you move ahead well here's one trick that has always worked for me I want you to think about your attention your mental and emotional and spiritual energy as a flashlight and that flashlight can only shine in One Direction so in any given moment that flashlight is shining in on you and how scared and insecure and fearful you are or it's shining out on your customer or the work that you're producing when you shine that flashlight on you all of your focus goes to your thoughts which probably sound

something like this oh my God I suck so bad everybody's gonna hate it I'm gonna look like an idiot I am not good enough yet who do I think I am [Music] and this flashlight is really unflattering [Music] now when it's shining out all your attention is on your customer what your customer feels and needs and wants and most importantly how you can help them now here's the cool part when your flashlight is a hundred percent focused on them you've got zero light on you and your fears and your self-doubt which means they recede gently

into the darkness obviously this isn't a one-time event it's a practice and something that you have to come back to every day and often on a moment-to-moment basis if you're ever feeling so much fear and self-doubt that you too might projectile vomit you've got to ask yourself in this moment where am I shining the light because it's either on you or the customer you or the work you or making a difference me them me them me them who just vomited keep it as simple as that and if you want a little reminder to make this

a habit use this tweetable [Music] your attention's like a flashlight shine it out on others and you lose sight of your own fear hi Marie I'm a 31 year old optometrist wife and mother of two I've been married for five years lived in the same house for five years and I've been at the same job for five years I love my family dearly and enjoy my job however I feel like something huge is missing I'm not sure if it's the five-year slump or if I'm meant to do something bigger hmm I've never heard of The

Five-Year slump is that the thing that comes two years before The Seven Year Itch all right I've never been one to take huge chances I come from a family of realists I know I have a lot of potential but there's always that you're not good enough thought nagging me I need and want to break free of this desperately I love dancing but I'm self-conscious I love singing but I don't do it because I worry how I'll be perceived I have to cut the self-doubt for myself and my family I certainly don't want to instill it

in my children sincerely Kristen great question Kristen so many of us can relate to that feeling that there's something missing in our life and before we move ahead I want to acknowledge you for having the courage to say you know what I am not going to settle for the status quo and I want more for my life good for you woman first things first if you don't make the change right now you're right you will pass along all that self-doubt to your kids if they see you as someone who's not willing to take risks as

someone who's not going to go for their dreams you're going to wind up creating your own family of realist and what I mean by that is people who are unwilling to go for their dreams unwilling to be unreasonable and here's the thing Kristen as you know sometimes the best things in life come when we're being unreasonable on the other hand if your kids see you taking action and going after your dreams and being willing to embarrass yourself every once in a while they're gonna get the message that it's safe for them to take risks and

to go after their dreams instead of just dreaming about them here's the other thing about what's missing from your life Kristen what's missing is fun just because you're in a slump it doesn't mean that you've outgrown your house or your marriage or a job all it means is that you've outgrown your tolerance for leading a boring ass life we human beings need to be creative we need the adventure and the excitement and the variety that comes from creative Endeavors and when I was reading your question that little line that you have about dancing that you

wish you could dance you wish you could sing tells me that you are creatively malnourished you are starving right now and look you don't have to go audition for Xbox or do anything crazy like that you can just start singing in your shower if you want or you can take dance breaks at the office I'll give you an example for my own life I am a bit of a closet hippie and in the past year I've been starting to go to drumming circles I have no idea what I'm doing but I love it sure I

could have let the fear of looking stupid stop me but when does that stop me before [Music] if we get right down to it I have the life I have right now because I'm willing to look stupid here's the thing Kristen you are waiting for a sudden hit of courage to do the things you're afraid of but the truth is this you have courage inside of you you just need to activate it Courage is a muscle and you build it by doing the things that you're afraid of so if you're terrified of something say screw

it I'm gonna do it anyway that's the way that you're gonna strengthen and stimulate your sexy courage muscles as Mr John Wayne said and yes it's a tweetable [Music] foreign courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway this is another question like Maria are you always happy right are you always up are you always motivated do you ever have bad days I have tons of shit-tastic days like do you know what I mean yeah I have I still have tons of self-doubt you know we were talking off camera I just came off this

book tour which has been amazing but I had this idea about how I wanted to launch the book and it terrified me so my idea was what if a Beyonce concert and a TED Talk had a baby and then through a block party like can I do this and when I said that out loud first of all everything in me lit up and then everything in me was terrified so much self-doubt and I actually documented it we did a video about the behind the scenes awesome video thank you but I wanted to show people um

how much fear and anxiety and self-doubt I have even after a 20-year career and so you know I just I want to just highlight and underscore that bit that anyone you admire they absolutely have bad days first of all they poop and fart just like everyone else exactly but it's highly likely that they struggle with depression and anxiety and not feeling good enough one million percent and the reason that it's so important to know this one would help you too it's your it's I'm not going to let you have that excuse yeah it's a convenient

excuse to think somebody's different or special or a martian or a superhuman and they're not exactly I can acknowledge that we all poop and fart just so you know and I love that line I've never heard that line before but that's the first time that's ever been out on our show Mike's agreeing with it and I can guarantee you that Mike farts a lot yeah I mean most of us do and then we blame it on someone else and we just look around it was the dog anyway Puma my dog he has some like silent

but deadly ones I think dog farts are the most dense farts you guys if that's not transformational totally change your life material I don't know what else are we going to give you come on what are you looking for but by the way on that line I want to say something to you because you make me laugh and um so does your social media and I want people to follow you so because like your your social media is like infotainment yes it's informative but it's like the dance routines she'll be in the middle of an

airport you guys and just flat get down for a few minutes dancing with people just looking at her like what in the world I love that about you thank you well it's funny because uh my mom often laughs my mom watches the show and she's like can we please have more dancing and more outfits and she loves the goofy side of me because that's always been who I am since I was a little kid and I think that's probably one of my favorite Parts about social at least right now and also after being on tour

I had some folks on my team and we were able to work in new ways with video cameras I'm like you guys I am this really all the time it's just nine times out of ten I don't have my phone on me because I'm just doing it you know what I mean that's the number one thing when people meet me it's funny because I show that side of me but not a lot when people meet me they're like oh my God you're like a total weirdo I said you're this really I think it's the deep

voice or whatever the hell I look serious but I think with a new off camera like we're all kind of a bunch of weirdos that are I guess we're farting all the time according to you too so I mean we are as we do it a day and I think it's about six or seven but on to another note I think what we're talking about right now if we're gonna shift gears a little bit that's one of the reasons that Tick Tock is so popular yes and you know why it's because it's not filtered and

it's not perfect and people are actually having just a good time here totally goofy yes absolutely ridiculous and not trying to position oh that's so true you know what I mean yeah so that's why it's it's kind of fun you're right okay I love today so first off you need to they need to follow you on Instagram they need to get your book everything is figureoutable anything else you want them to know where to find you I would say I mean everything is figure outable is the big thing we also have something that we only

do once a year for creatives and entrepreneurs called b-school which is online business school for Creative entrepreneurs who want to not only make money but actually make a difference it's a huge thing in my life isn't helping people find their purpose and deliver that through their products or their services people can check out when it opens it only opens in February joinbschool.com we do a ton of free workshops and webinars so people can learn even if they never sign up they'll get a ton of value and then just at Marie forleo okay she's awesome you

guys I I want to I want to ask you one more question so everybody stay with us because there's a good question coming to finish but um first thank you for working so hard on yourself because I think you're special but I don't think you're special because you were born special I think you're special because you're this convergence of somebody who found their giftedness and their Brilliance and you've worked really hard at it in the service of others and I you guys can tell you can I know you all can tell okay I get why

he's such a huge fan of hers and many of my folks were already fans of yours too but for those of you that weren't now you know why I wanted her on the show so badly because we helped a lot of people today you did but if you were to if someone ran into you at Starbucks right now yes and they said can I have five minutes I want to change my life there's something in my life I want to change it's my how I feel about myself my relationships I want to start a business

I uh I want to lose 30 pounds whatever it is I need to create a change of something in my life what advice would you give them I know that's a general question with a you know a broad reach but in general to create a change because you've changed your life and you've helped hundreds of thousands of people change theirs what would you what would you say to them well I would say first you have to believe that everything is figurable including this so you need that Bedrock belief that's Baseline number one very good two

I would say to get crystal clear on exactly what that changes and make it as specific and concrete as possible so I want to get in shape becomes well I want to go to the gym for the next 21 days you know five days a week so I can do 20 push-ups like we would have them get more specific concrete make it measurable so it can actually actually be achievable then I would ask them why why do you want this change why is this so important why does this have to happen now because reasons backup

results everyone knows this but I don't think people dig deeply enough because in the depth of that reason in the depth of the why is going to come the commitment the emotional commitment to make it happen and then the final piece would be this I would tell them to write it down why studies actually show this that we human beings are 42 percent more likely to reach our goals if we actually write them down now I know this sounds like Captain Obvious to most people however my experience has shown me most people don't do the

obvious things so there was a study by Dr Gail Matthews she is a professor at the Dominican University of California and she's the one that proved that we are 42 percent more likely to reach our goals if we simply write them down so I would ask that person to write it down then I would ask them to look at it every single day when they wake up and when they go to sleep and ideally get some accountability I know I just gave you a very long answer but if but if I got someone in Starbucks

and that's what they asked me I'd say if you did these things and you just committed to those five or six things I can pretty much guarantee that that person would reach their goal you're off thank you you're awesome thank you well thank you so much for having me on and again I really want to emphasize this for everyone listening every time I've looked at your social or I've looked at your videos and you I hear you just hear that like let's max out I feel my body become more alive and I get excited I'm

like yes we can do this so thank you for the contribution that you make and thanks for having me on your show we're going to do some more stuff today I hope so hey it's Marie you're on the marietv live calling show how are you darling so good you're here with Gregory and all of team forleo and we are really excited to talk with you so let us know your question and we will do our best to help you out okay my question will probably become a story but uh I left my uh my 10

year long career as a makeup artist in January uh to pursue a career in freelance illustration from my social media page um and I've been managing to stay afloat because I'm kind of a multi-passionate human and I've got a bunch of things going on so for the past four months I've been doing okay I'm having one of those slow weeks so it kind of comes in waves and I was just kind of wondering um how do you stay focused and optimistic during those lower times in your new business because I tend to kind of be

like oh I gotta go apply for for my old job back and run away whenever it gets quiet yeah you keep the self-doubt from taking over absolutely this is a great question and it's something I think many of us have experienced and will experience again anytime we enter a new chapter in our lives we're starting a new career we're starting a new business we're entering a new phase where things are unknown and we're not as established as we once were so normal I also want to congratulate you for following your heart right and doing something

new that takes a lot of Courage it is so scary but that's amazing and you're actually doing it I've talked to so many people on the show and have worked with so many folks who get paralyzed in that fear position and never actually move so give yourself credit yeah for actually doing it so one thing that I want to tell you no one and I know you know this but sometimes it's helpful to hear a reminder no one is an overnight success especially when they're starting something new so you have to cultivate that patient's muscle

inside of you and yes there will be those highs and lows right there will be those Peaks where you're busy and some of those valleys and I know the values are what we're talking about um one thing that really helped me when I was starting my business was a little thing I like to call a b m always okay B marketing you know I'm a big fan passionate advocate of marketing especially for small business owners because what it does is it gets you in the habit of sharing value and also gets you practiced at reaching

out to folks who could hire you or who could be a source of income or jobs or connections so if you don't have a little ritual set up for yourself whether it's daily or maybe two or three times a week but at least weekly where you are proactively doing whatever is appropriate for your business in order to drum up more business you've got to put that habit in place it could be making phone calls sending emails asking for testimonials reaching out right anything that you've been doing in your business so far that's been working we

want to do more of that and if there's some ideas that you've had about how to expand your business let's try some of those ideas out too I'm assuming my love you're not a b-schooler yet right I'm not okay well I'm gonna put out a little hope for you that you will join us at some point in the future because it's one of the things I'm most passionate about teaching and that's kind of what we go deep into there but the point is still valid always be marketing so develop that habit with yourself and what

that does is whenever your mind starts to go but wait ain't nothing happening it's all slow did I make a mistake which again that's a natural place any mind would go to if you've got this beautiful list of things that you can could do proactive steps you could take making that call send in that email putting up another post requesting a testimonial and you get dive into action you're going to train yourself to just kind of slide right through that self-doubt and get into that always be marketing place which does drum up more business the

other thing I want to say to you is this you know in my own Journey took me over seven years before I was able to provide to my for myself and for my family at that time to solely from my coaching income so I had side gigs so let's say you find yourself in a makeup counter again that's fine that doesn't mean you failed whatever you need to do to keep the lights on and to have food on your table while you continue to build this new chapter in your life there ain't no shame in

that game honey right Honest work is honest work the other thing I want to tell you and this is kind of a layer underneath it this is something that I recommend to everyone because I just don't think we talk about it enough is to handle your money what do I mean by that I don't know how much work you've done on your own personal financial well-being in terms of understanding money in your own life do you have savings do you have any debt do you have a plan to pay that down are you investing for

your future just really diving into the topic of money we of course have many marietv's that can get you started on this topic because again I love it so much but separately it's like investing in your own Financial well-being as you're building out this new career is a really important thing to do you can't just stick your head in the sand I'm not saying that you're doing that we'll find out in a minute but what sometimes people do is they scramble scramble scramble about their business or their new creative project but they spend zero time

looking at Personal Finance on like a big Global level and it does them a disservice because chances are when you're multi-passionate your career is going to have several Evolutions like several more so you can look forward to Chapters like this again and again and when your financial house is really solid underneath you it allows you to make wise decisions about your pricing about what jobs to say yes to about maybe saying yes to working at a makeup counter again because you're like you know what that's going to be my little savings account I'm gonna do

that and I'm gonna bless those jobs and that time that I'm there not that I'm a failure but because I'm building my financial wealth slowly over time while I continue to build this new illustration business does that make sense that makes sense yeah absolutely it gives your entire career landscape a whole fresh lens this way when you say yes to something you know why you're doing it it's for a higher greater deeper purpose that's serving you over the long run not just about the short-term win or the ego thing about oh I can't make it

and you know I'm not doing good enough right now screw all that that'll screw you up nobody needs that when you take that that's right when you take that long view then you really make wise intelligent long-term decisions that allow you to weather these little valleys when they come up because that really is the nature of life there's you know think about the Four Seasons there's winter there's spring there's summer and there's fall it's impossible for any of us to be in the stage of like spring incessantly where things are just bursting and growing and

they're popping that's just not nature it's not reality so that's why I'm such a huge fan of handling the personal financial peace because it allows you to weather the natural seasons of life without so much panic and you can make wiser more heart-centered decisions without going into a place of lack yeah yeah that's true Greg's here well first of all let me ask you how's this resonate for you is this working for you love yeah it's working it's making sense and you know I'm from Montreal like I'm living in Montreal and we know about winter

here yes you do it's a lesson in itself yes so uh yeah and I'm working through um understanding more about financial beliefs uh because I noticed that when I left my job and went completely freelance my income has stayed identical to what it was when I was working at my job and I think I might have some limiting beliefs around what I need to earn each week yeah well here's what's exciting about what you're sharing with us right now just the fact that you're asking these questions and you're willing to take an objective look and

you're looking at the numbers and you're kind of bouncing that against what you might believe about money what you might believe that you can earn what you deserve what you're capable of this awareness piece is the beginning of it all shifting so I'm really really excited for you and I also want to mention we have a vintage Marine TV episode if you search Marie forleo how to prevent a business dry spell it's one that I did all the way back in 2011. ideas still valid search that one up I think it'll really support you in

addition to this but diving in investing in your financial well-being including the beliefs that you have about money this is perfect for where you're at right now super super perfect I'm tossing it over to Greg to see if you have uh anything you'd like to share yes like first of all I'm a hair stylist so girl I get you right and one super cool thing that we have is we have a Recession Proof gift that we get to always share and always make money wherever we go like I can you know if I have a

dry spell in my business which I absolutely do I can always do a blowout I can always go to somebody's house to you know style them for an occasion or something I just need to reach out to them you know so the beautiful thing about us is we always have a Recession Proof gift a trade that we can take wherever we go so we don't need an office we don't need a space we have you have those gifted little hands brushes and some pigment you could paint the world wherever you go if you need to

very true you know yeah it's true I travel the I traveled the world for seven years and I worked as a makeup artist all over it it's very true it's like good thing to have in your back pocket that's right your Artistry let's go with a lot of that fear yep you know and it kind of lets you sit back and be like okay well maybe I can do two more you know take on two more clients to do like the the wedding coming down the road yeah and then you could take the week off

to focus on your business I don't know let's talk now about this incredible piece of work called identity shift what is Step number one I think you did such an incredible job in the beginning of the book talking about this experience that so many people have whether they're just at the beginning of their journey and they're they're looking for that foothold to feel like okay I'm finally on that ladder of success whatever that means to them or folks who maybe have achieved a bit and they feel like they're kind of bumping up against a ceiling

yeah and they start looking around and feeling like gosh everyone else seems to be going faster or they have more capacity and you kind of feel like you're stuck at a certain level so if anyone watching right now is in either one of those situations and going like I've been trying to do all the things but nothing seems to be working I might need an identity shift can you explain to us first of all what that means to make an identity shift and why it's so important and what would step one be yeah so first

let's understand what it means to understand what identity is I guess from a really basic and I explained to people that it's who you are when you're not thinking about who you are it's just how you're being and being is it's good like we need to be in that effortless effort space because we got to live our lives however when you're being you are taking actions as we all know the actions build your life so you're unintentionally building your life through an identity and if you don't shift the identity what happens is the things you

are doing how your being will not become that person who has those things it's very straightforward but people think well I gotta learn the new stuff and buy this new course and do this it's like that's great all the information is great but if you aren't the person to wield that tool you won't build that house you'll have all the tools but like you'll fall short it's like giving a baby a hammer like they're not going to build a house but give it to a construction worker like they might build a house you know so

the first stage which most people skip because it's very emotionally difficult is like the first stage I went through when I was in that year of 2016 I had to really see who I was there's a statement I love and it's it's hard to see the label when you are inside of the jar and a lot of us were sitting there living Our Lives going why can't I achieve X do X have X and it's like you're oblivious to it we'll call it blind spots right but there are people who tell us what we need

to hear we go ah they don't support me they don't love me well that's not maybe the truth maybe they love you enough to tell you but if you keep bumping your head up against this thing it's a possibility something you're doing is not the right thing for you doesn't mean it could be wrong or right for anybody else but it might not be the right thing for you we are so fast to go to the work that we never check and see is this my work so maybe you don't communicate well maybe you don't

reciprocate well maybe you don't take you know feedback whatever it may be if that's inevitably happening as you're just being every day and you're unaware of it that will keep you consistently stuck yes and I think you give such great examples in the book too of just again your storytelling in the beginning genius around this particular person who shows up late everywhere right not keeping his word with himself rushing out the door there's just kind of these habitual patterns of almost a form of self-sabotage but just like a fish in water if that's how you're

always operating and you don't really shine a light on it or be willing to see like oh well what part am I playing in how my life is actually showing up right now you know like what is my part am I not you know am I hitting snooze on that alarm every single morning am I rushing out the door am I throwing sugar-filled or you know um kind of fast food in my mouth and expecting my body to perform at a high level am I not listening to my spouse am I spending all my time

on something like this and not actually present with people yeah and so this notion of seeing I love how much emphasis you put on that about getting this is my word someone excited to see your own blind spots to see the areas where you may be bumping your head against a wall and you don't really realize it and like how you said that because there is I think once you get to a certain level of Consciousness you're like aware that these things you find other opportunities to improve so it doesn't become an excitement for it

I think so many people are so deathly afraid of being pointed out like the people will say oh I'm not perfect but the moment you see an imperfection they fight you on it it's like holy but you just said you weren't perfect so what makes you think that when I say this like that's a problem but that's the thing is most people do not get excited for feedback yeah and I think you know that's an interesting it's an interesting statement and I I believe probably it may have to do with I mean this has been

going on for a long time but some people the only place that they're looking for feedback per se is not necessarily from A Gifted coach like yourself or from someone in their life that they trust and who trusts them and has their heart in a safe place but they might be looking for it online yeah like anybody can say anything you know at any time of the day and just kind of throw stuff at you whether or not it's accurate or whether or not you'd even respect that person they don't even know you yeah so

I think um and again you talk about this in identity shift it's like having someone in your life who can help you see yourself clearly and can give you that feedback um in a way that's honest and that's real but that's not designed to crush your soul no no the funny thing is is most of us if you look at it properly the reason I get excited about it is now I get to see what's Now new possibilities for me because if I if I was stuck here because of this thing I wasn't aware of

if you show it to me and go oh it sucks I gotta figure this out but if I do oh look what I can go do now like that's that's what I think is the beautiful transition people Miss it's like when we're pointing something out it's not just you can feel bad it's so you can fix it and see what's newly possible I I don't know if it was in the book but until let's talk about my dog and like when I go to like to the park he's on a leash he sees what's nearby

no excitement the moment I take his leash off and his eyes pop up to see what's possible he's gone right so it's that thing where we we live with a leash that's behind our head holding us unaware of it but the moment it gets off and we're aware that it's off there's a ton of new possibilities I love it so okay step number one is seeing yeah that's the spot that most people don't want to go but it's the most important one if we want to have an identity shift what's step number two step two

is shift which is it's unfortunately it's where everybody goes first uh because what happens is you end up doing stuff and you get burned out because like I'm doing the things I'm doing the things and I'm doing the things and why don't I have the thing and it's like well because you were doing the wrong things you didn't see but if you have seen the next stage is it's kind of twofold one is I must craft what I call the ideal identity like the who who is the individual who has what you want and how

are they showing up because if you can understand what that is we can build a plan into it through actions but most people don't do that they go well what does that person do and what do they have and I want that and I want to do that I want to do all these little things and it's like yeah but the other day like you have to look deeper than just what you see and see how they're showing up as a human because there's Integrity behind that there's honesty behind this hard work behind that and

when you can do that it shows up to where you can go okay if I see that as what an aspiration is my shift work my personalized shift plan is I need to do this specific thing because here's here's where people don't grasp there's a transition we're trying to kind of cross we call it a gap I'm going to close this identity Gap the Gap is where you go from this thing I have to do it's dreary and it sucks and I hate it to where I go from I don't want to do it to

where it is incredibly difficult not to do it um there's this weird Chasm if you can jump that like for example some people go oh I gotta work out at some point you work out and you go I feel weird if I don't work out today so who's going to work out and get in shape easier right it's the person who crosses that and you first have to be able to set out the identity you're trying to go to and then chart the path to get there now this isn't always where we start the work

and actually do it that's the last phase of it because that's where it's really the magic happens but the shift phase is what's the ideal identity I want to shift into and actually look at it and then what are the things that I must uniquely do that if I did them long enough I could shift into that identity that's great and I love how you articulated this notion of it's not like doing it like pushing yourself or forcing yourself which is such a drain on the energy and it feels like to your point that's not

necessarily an identity shift it's almost like you're crawling on the top of a surface and you're trying to just grab the easy things to hope to get the outcome versus becoming the human who does this kind of thing naturally mostly enthusiastically as a authentic expression of your soul and those are two very very different vastly different things and and it's I think it's because everybody falls in love with the destination and not the day um like everybody I want this thing and every day I'm presently aware of how far I am from that thing and

that's the measuring stick and so I'm emotionally like oh I feel it every day but if I fall in love with the day and the thing I'm supposed to do because there's things that I don't inherently love to do but I find joy around to doing them like my wife she has businesses and I'm her handyman I don't always like to go do it however I'm like you know what there's some new albums I want to listen to so I'm gonna put them in my ear while I'm working I'm like I get to listen to

cool music or my wife and I drive out I get to spend an hour in the car with my wife having a catch-up conversation or whatever we haven't had to chat about I find a way to fall in love with my day and so the day gets done things get met and all of a sudden I arrive at destinations I'm like oh super cool but I want to get back to my day so in fact the destination is the journey the destination isn't the destination yes it's uh something we talk about in our world and

I always often talk about this with my team it's like we bring the party right like if there is something that needs to happen it must happen I'm the responsible human to do it I've wanted two ways to go about it I'm either gonna begrudgingly do it and complain my way with it and resist it and wish I was doing something else or embrace it like it was my idea in the first place and I'm gonna have a damn good time while it's happening yeah so I do and that second version right is where not

only all the magic happens but the gorgeousness of life begins to get strung together because all those moments equal your life I love this okay tell me about step number three so we've got C we've got shift yeah and where do we go next sustain it's the last phage it's the uh it's where the shift actually takes place and I I achen it to kind of like uh go into a coffee shop to do work I go to the coffee shop I know I gotta get some work done and I'm on my phone scrolling I'm

on social right or I'm just trying to talk to people like oh I finally noticed I gotta work on this so I put these things down and I try to focus try to focus right and I get in the first five ten minutes I'm doing my thing but then at some point in time all of a sudden it drowns out and like three hours goes by and I go oh I got the emails done like this is all moving smooth like all my to-do list is gonna feel good right and I explain to people that

if you can create a discipline system that's set up of boundaries and structure and and it could be block time there's way like ways to create a like a cocoon right or a group of people around that keep you dialed what happens is where the first day week two weeks it feels like that like oh I gotta Focus but after a while all of a sudden you pop up three months later it's like wow my life is better my marriage is better I'm in better shape my business runs smoother like all these things happen but

the idea is I'm I'm doing that while falling in love with the day like when we do our work I just I'm like I don't what's the things we gotta do to get there okay great let's come back to the start what step one look like what's step two look like and only look at this and so the discipline system is how can I get you to create a structure of discipline so you can love your day doing the things that you know will lead you to this end destination now yes they're gonna feel awkward

out of character but they don't consume your day it might be a 15 minute thing like that but the rest of it is all moving in that direction and then all of a sudden you wake up and you go wow I've made more money I've I've my relationship is generally closer and connected I feel better in my body like those are the things that I want you to do and people go well how do you know you made the shift and I go all of us can attest to this there's a space and time in

our past where I can go back and realize I was unsuccessful and go what was it like to be that because I can't put myself back in that headspace when you can notice you can't go back to that headspace it's apparent you've made that shift yes 100 and I love also just your reiteration of you have to fall in love with process there's actually research around that around um happiness and fulfillment and people that stay so focused on the Final Destination or the mile marker or the goal are less likely to actually keep doing the

work to get there versus people that I think it was a study about folks showing up in the gym and whether people were like okay focused on this outcome or I'm really gonna just pay attention to process like how do I feel on that treadmill and being there for every breath or doing those chest presses or whatever it is and the folks who focus on process are happier more fulfilled and more likely to actually stick with whatever that discipline is so it's right on the money it's because eventually it becomes who you are because we

all know the person with like a Facebook that like you know a year ago was like a weird like you know dreamcatcher or cat you know on the face of her Facebook and then all of a sudden she starts going to the gym and you see a water bottle picture and you see a picture of the gym none of her yet and then one day three months and you see a picture of her in the mirror because she feels better about herself and her friends go get it Karen and like Karen's like yeah I feel

good about myself and the next thing you know like she's showing views of her working out she's got her friends coming along and if you look a year like it's a different person a genuine and so where again it was difficult it is now incredibly difficult for her not to do the thing she's doing that's the big thing that people aren't getting to they see individuals like us at a high level how do you do it it looks so easy I'm like well first it's not secondly absolutely yeah secondly it's a different level of how

I approach the work I call it effortless effort it takes effort 100 does but it almost feels smooth and effortless because it's it's me staying in alignment with who I see myself to be identity wise and when you've crafted it and shifted into it I want to stay here therefore I do this work with joy to stay here if you're ready to stop letting stress derail your happiness I've got a free gift for you you need to go to Marie loves you.com slash stresslog and I'm going to give you one of my favorite tools that

I've ever created I promise it will help you melt that toxic stress away fast go download it now what keeps you motivated and so enthusiastic about your business I am just starting my own and it's a struggle to keep myself in the right frame of mind 24 7. very popular our question we're going to press pause on that I'm going to go to question number two this one's from Lydia and Lydia writes I'm a certified virtual assistant and I really want to make progress with my business this up and coming year it's like I'm starting

up all the time but never really launching it as if something is stopping me what steps do you recommend in order to break down that mental barrier I know it's something that worries a lot of people like me changing from a daytime job in order to become an entrepreneur I know I can and will do it but there's always a but I think these questions are amazing because what both these young ladies are talking about is something all of us deal with and it's called resistance I want to introduce you to one of my favorite

books on the planet now if you've been listening to me for a little while you probably have heard this before but it Bears repeating the war of art by a guy named Stephen pressfield I have been reading this book over and over and over and over again for years I have like my little stickies in there it's really worn it's even turning yellow this book's incredible but wait there's more because guess what Steven just came out with a brand new book and it's called do the work this is actually the cover but do the work

is on the back I devoured this book in such a hot minute why because it talks about the answer to your cues every one of us deals with resistance it's that thing that happens all those thoughts that come up in our mind anytime we want to start something creative I mean whether you want to begin your own business you want to lose some weight you want to run a marathon you want to create a piece of art all of us have that same Hedgehog that comes up that can stop us set in our tracks if

we don't know how to deal with resistance and this thing my friends is the Bible but hang on because this is where it gets even cooler I have admired Stephen pressfield for so freaking long I can't tell you he's been like one of my creative idols and uh we are so lucky right now because we are going to interview him and he's going to tell us about resistance and how to deal with it here we go okay so we are here right now with one of my favorite authors of all time Stephen pressfield he has

made such a huge difference in my life Stephen thank you for taking the time today to chat with us for having me it's great to be here yeah so um I kind of set up there's another piece of this video that's all beautifully produced and basically I have a lot of people that write me in and ask like oh God I have these ideas but I feel like something's stopping me and you've written so eloquently about how to handle resistance in this Gem of a book that we'll let them read it because that everyone needs

to have a copy of this so we'll let you talk about resistance in the book but I want to ask you some personal questions because you're one of my Idols so this is awesome do you have a lot of books and ideas for for screenplays and maybe even more books come to you simultaneously and then you have to do you ever struggle with which one to start working on first I do um but although more often I don't have enough ideas I'm really happy if I just have one that's in the future and a lot

of times I'll be working on a book for two years I have no clue what's gonna come next if anything ever will uh right praying there will I mean at the moment I actually have two or three backed up but uh my Mantra as I know you know from Reading More of art is when you have more than one idea take the one that scares you the most that's the one that you should do I love that I actually uh you know again I've read more of Art and I have it all earmarked and stuff

but just hearing you say that again reminds me because that's that was actually my neck my next question was how if you do have multiple ideas uh what's your your methodology for for choosing which one to go with and so is that kind of guided your career when it turns to creativity definitely because I think you know there's sort of a law of resistance in my experience that the more important um a project is to your Soul's Evolution Yeah the more resistance you'll feel to it so you know if it's not important to you you

won't feel any resistance at all right but if it's something that's like really life-changing and you have to do it you'll feel a really stywell massive Terror or resistance self-doubt all of those those things right yeah so uh I I always says that always will point to an art resistance will always point to what you should be doing whatever you're most afraid of is the one doable that's the mixtures and you know I also say in the war of art remember that show on Bravo Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton yes but I always

ask actors how do you know which role you want to take and then almost always answer the rule that was going to stretch me the most because you know if they've already done it they've done other role why repeat yourself if you've been an action hero in one movie why do it again you've already done it right why not try to be a sensitive you know you know neristic artist or something like that no it's true I think for me my own experience like as you're talking my mind was calling up yeah my biggest breakthroughs

in my business have been when I've been willing to step into that place like oh my God this makes me want to throw up but I have to do it those are the projects always a good sign yeah um and it's it's interesting too because for me my body reacts like uh it does it reacts very physically where like if I'm really pursuing something I can start calling up headaches I can call up all kinds of things that you know it's almost like giving birth to this all these toxins have to go yeah yeah so

uh another question um do you give yourself shipping deadlines like if you know you're working on this book or you're like you know what I'm gonna give myself three months to get X done or do you just kind of give yourself creative license at this time to to give it as long as it takes I mean it may be different for me Marie because writing novels takes so long you know it could be two years it could be three years in and a lot of times other projects will come along maybe you know you'll get

a different job to do a screenplay or something right that you know you could do in three months or something and uh so I I don't I mean I don't I don't impose deadlines um except with short projects then I do I say I want to get this done by Christmas or I want to get this done you know I'll have a vacation slated I'm going to get this done I don't want to think about it you know but for long projects I think they they have a life of their own yeah not too much

pressure on yourself at least that's that's my feeling yeah so I try to cut myself some slack in areas like that awesome I think I only have um oh yeah so this is the question actually that I was so excited to ask you and it comes from page 95 and do the work which again everybody on the planet I feel like has to have a copy of do the work so you wrote this at the end and it says the level of maturity professionalism and personal involvement demanded by the tectonic overthrows happening today in positioning

branding and marketing not to mention pure Art and Soul authenticity and then you kind of alluded to but you know this is a whole other topic for a whole nother book and while it very well may be on your plate I was so fascinated because I I feel the same way inside so if you have anything to say about that topic or what you wrote there I would love to hear it um that this we're sort of living in add times aren't we you know with uh so many distractions and how many Temptations so many

ways that it looks like you can make a fast Buck or make a fast killing or make a fast creative killing or or you know that it really does take a tremendous level of and self-discipline motivation self-validation to sort of keep in your own world you know keep focusing on what's important to you and guiding Yourself by your own star rather than getting pulled off it's like there are so many it's kind of a space to nail it it's like there are so many planets out there see zigzagging in front of us each with their

own gravitational healer pull us this way or pull us that way it's really a challenge to just follow your own gyroscope right and and uh very hard to do because a lot of times I'm sure you get this a lot is is um success or attention will come to you for something that maybe is not your best stuff right or maybe not pulling you in a direction that you really should be going and uh it can be hard to sort of Follow Your follow your abuse and follow your highest um kind of long-range calling you

know where you're going to be over a career I don't know if that answers if Murray if you have any more specific areas it's a really interesting topic yeah no and I also I mean uh first of all that was a beautiful answer and I agree 100 it's it's actually I think it's shifting also the way that we when it comes to books at least you know in the past couple years uh I wrote I've had one book under my belt and it's about 168 pages and I'm super proud of it um and I'm thinking

like the next book's in me and it's it's starting to you know Bubble Up and I want it to be short you know like it's like I I love one of the things I love about do the work is I read this puppy in a couple of hours I mean I did not stop just went right through and I felt like I got such a full meal without having you know like 300 pages in front of me so I think the way that we're consuming uh creativity like you said our attention spans are getting shorter

so it's an interesting time for us as creators and also as consumers to think about how we want to say what we have to say yeah my first was a guy named barthol it was years ago he was like 88 years old at the time and I was asking him you know how long should this book be I'm working on a book how long should it be and said uh how long and what he meant by that is there could be short letters and they're going to be long letters right and each project will sort

of dictate the length that it wants to be so if you're kind of feeling that this wants to be short the next thing then it should be sure right you know it could be red on your iPhone you know to be read on an iPad it can be read uh you know in an airport lounge it just ripped through all your but you know the kind of book that's sort of uh an inspirational book or a kick in the ass book yeah or you know a sort of a it's longer than say a long Vanity

Fair article but it's shorter than a book book yeah so that you really like you say you feel like you can get a full video you can get a real steak and potatoes meal yeah but you're not doing it for you know like reading more or repeat to me so yeah no I like it I love it and I I have to just um thank you so much for for taking the time to hang out with us for a little bit and and uh you know uh uh your book about how to uh you know

whatever how to attract any man or make what is it yeah you'll like this so it's called Uh so the the title is make every man want you how to be so irresistible you'll barely keep from dating yourself and I love it I love it it's a trojan horse it's actually not that much about men are dating it's a very spiritual book about uh my take on the whole the access point for me of irresistibility is being very present in the moment and kind of letting go all of the crap that goes on up here

and fully engaging with your life like no breaks on just going for it and so uh I actually got um a little Facebook comment today from a woman who said I was so angry at your title I thought it was I thought it was crap it's so superficial and she said that I read it and it totally changed my life so I kind of like to do things yeah you practice The Way You Preach yeah I mean I I for whatever reason I like to create in what I call Trojan horses where it sounds like

it's one thing and it's probably a little controversial or it's a little something and then it gives you something else once you get on the inside I just think it's fun to surprise people that way and plus it's you know if I would have wrote a book like here's how to live in the present moment I mean I don't think I would have done very well frankly the great title helps a lot yeah so um so anyway we'll enjoy the rest of your afternoon in LA and thank you for doing what you do thank you

for creating this incredible incredible guide for all of us who want to make stuff in the world and for everybody watching you guys I can't recommend this enough you have to get a copy of this book and I don't know Steven if if the gang told you but we have a bulk order coming because I want um I have a high level group of women that I Mentor in a program called the rich happy and hot Adventure Mastermind and like I need them to have this like this needs to travel with them all the time

so on site it's Marie forleo hi Susan hooray yay so you're on marietv Zach's with me and so is team forleo we are so excited to connect with you today oh my goodness wow so let us know your question and we will do our very best to support you okay I am just turned 50. and um I have been married for pretty well 35 years and I'm on my own for the very first time so I'm just contemplating careers and my two loves of Life are Horticulture and Medicine and I'm trying to connect with my

inner voice but I'm just having a real heck of a time doing that right now yeah so I first of all we are so excited I'm so excited about this particular question because I think for many of us especially when you were living life and you had this particular chapter and it was long and you were kind of doing things in certain patterns and then all of a sudden things are fresh and new it can feel difficult to hear that inner voice so I'm so thrilled that you're asking this question because you're giving voice to

something that I know many many women and men can struggle with so a couple things I want to let you know that all of us can doubt our age at any time so it's not just about you turning 50 which by the way congratulations um Young Folks you know in our teens in our 20s 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s 80s I think that self-doubt is really a natural part of who we all are and it helps us ask those important questions so we can find that Clarity so just one note about that and then I

also want to say I'm really excited because 50 right now you're barely even at the midpoint mama you have got so much exciting life in front of you like really so you I want you to take that in because it's true you know lifespans are expanding we're living longer we're living healthier we have so many more things that we can do in this one big glorious life so I want you to get excited because I know a lot of women in your age range and older and they many of them tell me like oh my

goodness it just keeps getting better and better so I just want to set that frame for you as well that it's not on the down you know Hill this is on the uphill you're still on your way up and the third thing I want to share with you I don't know if you saw this episode but after we get off this call please do me a favor I want you to Google search marietv plus late bloomers we have this incredible episode where we've profiled these 10 badass women who started new careers new passions later in

life most of them over 60. some in their 60s 70s 80s and even above that and I think you're going to find not only a lot of inspiration there but a lot of Hope and perhaps even some idea so that's that but I know your question was around how to find your inner voice and I want to give you a couple of exercises that I think will help one my dear how Physically Active are you right now like would you say that you work out every single day is it once a week talk to us

about how much physical activity you tend to do at this stage well that's something I'm working on right now because in the past four years I've had my struggles with my um with my health and um I I'm at that point too where I'm regaining it and um trying to get physical but it's one of those things that you know just making that first step is so difficult yes and I even though I know what importance it holds in all aspects even in my mental health it's still getting there yeah so I'm gonna invite you

to put that as a higher priority and I particularly love dance I feel like when I dance and it can be any music that you love it doesn't have to be a specific style of dance you don't have to follow choreography you can just move your body even if you put on two to three of your favorite songs in your house and you just let yourself move around with absolutely no self-consciousness no awareness of how you look just enjoying the music and enjoying movement the reason why I'm suggesting this for you is because I find

that many of us are cut off from a lot of the wisdom that lives in our bodies and when we move we get that emotion in motion and all of a sudden a huge Channel opens up to our intuition to creative ideas to all types of insights that I've found cannot be accessed any other way not through meditation not through talking not through writing not through anything else so I would invite you my love if one of your goals is to hear more clearly your inner voice and your heart's desire is to make it a

priority to move that could even mean walking outside in nature if you like working out at home you know it could be just following free videos on YouTube there's also wonderful apps there's so many different possibilities but for me movement is a must it is a must to hear that calling in your heart to be able to feel what this next chapter is going to be for you and then also to have the energy and the excitement to move towards it so that's piece number one okay the second piece and it's cool too because you're

just using um this incredible asset that you already have which is this vessel called your body the second little exercise I want you to try is with a journal and with writing because I find that that's another vehicle to hear what your soul is calling for and the sentence stem I'm going to give you is something that we also did in marietv about and it's something that we use in our company and that I use when I set my own goals and when I want to reach higher the sentence stem is this wouldn't it be

cool if so for you Susan wouldn't it be cool if I got to spend some time studying medicine even if it was five hours a week wouldn't it be cool if I got to visit X Y and Z and again you can just keep finishing that sentence in your journal on a piece of paper and anything that pops up into your mind or heart even if it sounds outrageous even if it sounds ridiculous even if it sounds like something you have no idea how you would make that come to life please write it down for

so many of us especially women our voices both exterior voices and our inner voices have been silenced for so long so it takes some unearthing to be able to hear it and one of the best ways to do that is to just let yourself go nuts on that page to let yourself dream wildly to explore all different kinds of possibilities and then to start to feel from the inside out which ones give you Goosebumps which ones go oh I'm surprised that that came out and you know what I don't want to play there I might

want to to go take that class or make that phone call or look up something on the Internet and see how I can bring that dream to life so between movement and writing and watching that awesome marietv episode about late bloomers I think that you are going to give yourself a real concrete next step to getting back in touch with that inner voice that's already in there that is longing to be heard I keep having arguments with it is what it is oh I like it well you know what those arguments are social conditioning okay

all of the years all of the voices both internal and external that told you that you can't that told you that women should be a particular way that told you you're not good enough or smart enough or talented enough or capable enough or whatever enough to have this dream of yours and so I lived it yes that's right so my darling this is your opportunity to get back in touch with the real you that has always been there and to break through every internal and external voice that has said no this is your chance to

say yes to you this is what this next chapter of your life can be and you have all the tools you need right now to bring it to life you are just reaffirming everything that I've been doing for the last couple weeks actually it's just too ironic synchronicity I think yes um yeah I I've been actually journaling for the last two weeks something I've never done in my life so yeah that's something new for me and it's really bringing me some insight as well um and also I started walking and yeah I've lost 20 pounds

so far you're getting some clothes and you're getting some claps from all the team I'll add one more piece onto this please keep paying attention to what sounds really fun and what feels really joyful to you even if it seems frivolous like even if you find yourself walking and you come across a little store and it's like a five and dime and you go in there and you're like oh wow these stickers like oh my goodness these stickers I don't know why but I'm gonna pick up these stickers because they look like fun and they

bring my heart a smile or you walk down and you see a restaurant that you've never gone in before and something pulls you in there and you just want to have a little cup of soup because it feels like it'll warm your soul like pay attention to what draws you to it because I found that there are certain things that we're attracted to that may not fit our picture of who we are what we should like but those things that we're drawn to are tied to our deeper purpose and that's the adventure that you're on

right now of learning how to reconnect with your desire and to activate and live through that so I'm really excited for you my love it just sounds she sounds so open to all the possibilities yes absolutely and I love that you're going to be dancing in your apartment yeah I think that's good I mean that to me grounds me all the time when I and I get in my head too yeah and when I just start dancing it's almost like a you at all the negative voices out there you know it's just like I'm dancing

just to go through hell with them you know yeah no I like it yeah Susan are you willing to play oh absolutely and yes I don't have to set foot into a gym hey I'm all for it yes there are so many different ways to get that beautiful body of yours moving and moving and moving without necessarily touching a gym hi Marie I've been beating myself up because I haven't made a lot of progress in my business for a very long and humiliating time I finally discovered a huge reason that I'm not moving forward it's

because I'm afraid of the trappings of success you see freedom is my number one value and I'm afraid that becoming successful will overwhelm me and take away my freedom instead of giving me more this fear paralyzes me and even though I'm not handling much right now I'm already feeling overwhelmed and tired any thoughts tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated Shawna psuf and rock UF and rock too Shauna so Shawna this is an awesome question I know many people millions of people struggle with this including myself I've often had that same belief that more success

could equal less freedom and it's not a great feeling to have and to help answer today's question I've brought one of my very dear friends Dr Kathy colott is here with us today and uh you're gonna love Dr Kathy because not only is she amazingly smart she is an Oxford grad but she is a metaphysician and manifesting consultant and what that means is she helps people create powerful lasting change in their lives and one of the ways that she does that is through working with the power of the subconscious mind oh this is so good

woman this is so good thank you so much first of all happy to be here for being on Marie TV so um it sounds like Shauna is having a little bit of trouble between what she consciously wants which is growing her business and it sounds like she has a fear of success is that what you heard definitely sounds that way right so we can we can hear the tension or or the major conflict between her conscious goal building a successful business and her subconscious fear is about how that might limit her freedom so Kathy tell

us why our subconscious Minds have so much power over us well the reason is it's estimated that approximately about three percent of your processing Powers your conscious mind the rest of it the other 97 percent subconscious autonomic automatic you don't think about how you digest food you don't normally think about how you breathe all your habits go on automatic pilot so by far our greatest processing Powerhouse is our subconscious mind scientists will tell you that the power of the subconscious is perhaps a million times greater of the conscious than the conscious mind that's amazing a

million times greater yeah and the point of that is not to say that your ego and your will are weak they are extremely powerful the point is to recognize that as powerful as they are there exists an asset within us that is even more powerful than that so that's why I work with the subconscious mind and why I encourage other people to get their subconscious mind on board and trying to make what they want happen in their lives we normally try to make what we want happen through our conscious determination and our ego and our

sweat Blood and Tears right which is tough going as is and I'm very familiar with that which you've helped me with right so but especially when it's going over and against something in the other 97 percent it becomes the task of sisyphean proportions you remember Sisyphus right the king in Greek mythology who was punished to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill right only to watch it roll back down right so this is a version of what Sean is experiencing her her rather her conscious mind might be saying I want success right hopefully

it is also saying I am worthy of success but if something in the other 97 percent say thinks otherwise I don't want success that's what she's going to be getting or manifesting at minimum she's going to find her somewhere on that sisyphian mountain trying to push her Boulder named success up to the top or prevent the backslide so Kathy if your subconscious mind is that powerful it almost seems like it's the boss and like Shawna would almost need like her boss's approval to sign off on something that she wants is that right I see why

you would say that because at a power a million times greater than the conscious mind it's clear who's going to win right right but the truth is that Sean is meant to be the boss she's meant to be you know she's meant to manage this asset this most effective powerful and efficient employee by giving it good and clear Direction so if you think of your subconscious as a computer right you understand that it's going to take its programming and run with it right and it's your job to make sure that its programming isn't functional if

not optimal alignment with your goals and you do this by programming reprogramming and debugging at regular intervals and in concert with those goals as you become aware of them as they change and so on so the great news is that once you get your subconscious on board that sisyphean Mountain turns into a molehill much like instituting your habits you don't actually even Institute them doesn't take a lot of thought doesn't take a lot of effort you just kind of do them that's the power of your subconscious mind and that's the power of the asset that

we're all born with and your job as president and CEO of yourself and your life is to get the most out of this most dependable and capable and employee that you will ever have at your disposal so it's much it's much less about asking for permission than it is about gaining Mastery and being Adept Kathy this is so exciting and I love talking about this with you so it sounds like that Shauna really can get her subconscious mind in alignment with her conscious goals and I know because you and I have worked together and how

brilliant you are that you give people very clear steps so can you share with us the clear steps to get your subconscious mind in alignment with your conscious goals sure so step one after you recognize the resistance is to be humble don't assume you know anything let alone everything about your resistance you want to trust the subconscious long enough to learn from it you want to trust that it is something intelligent and wise to say because it does uh Shanice for example is reminding her of her non-negotiable desire for Freedom Kathy I love that so

in essence what you're saying is about listening to the wisdom that we can find in our resistance is that right okay awesome so what's step two so step two is to get specific what is the fear or fears exactly what are the associations with having or getting what you want what exactly is it that the subconscious is looking out for you want to interview your subconscious like you would anybody you're trying to get information from which is with genuine curiosity and compassion you want to let it make its case you want to hear its case

because there is priceless wisdom and information in there for you so it's not enough for example for Shauna to know that she's afraid of the trappings of success much less afraid of success in general she wants to know what trapping specifically what freedoms in particular does she think she's going to have to sacrifice for success is it more projects is it more people depending on her this will tell her more about what she wants so step two is to get details and applaud whatever you find applaud it before you judge it because you you know

what you normally associate with you is by far not the smartest thing within you the next step step three would then be to make a promise right you want to set the intention to work it out with your subconscious not to work against it I love that so Sean is fear is saying to her look I'm afraid that if you become successful you're going to be tied to your desk you can be on the phone all day you're going to be even more stressed out and strapped out have no fun have no time for family

and friends and love and everything else you want in life right Sean Shauna can make her fear a not a non-issue by making a promise listen friends I hear you I understand what you're saying and I really appreciate you looking out if greater success means greater strain more exhaustion having less freedom and time for myself in my life I won't do it I will only do it if that's not what it means I promise and then of course she wants to be a good partnering crime for herself to rely on which means to keep her

promise but in any case by making this promise let me see the tension is dissipated right and it makes space for herself and her subconscious to open up to the idea of success and to pursuing it Kathy this is so delicious and I'm just I like want to eat you up right now what I'm hearing you say is through making the promise it's about honoring what is truly important to ourselves and making a commitment to ourselves to really honor that wisdom and honor what we truly want in our lives so what's step four step four

is to get examples so evidently shawna's subconscious has a lot of negative examples about what happens when you become successful she wants to douse her subconscious and positive examples in case studies people whose lives have improved as a result of their success in business people whose Freedom has increased as a result of their success people who have built successful businesses and have more time to do what they love Marie it's a great example in this respect I mean it's part of the mission statement to help women live rich happy and hot right yes complete opposite

of overworked exhausted and crushed by the weight of their duties obligations and desk yes so she wants to find examples can be people she knows people she doesn't know famous people doesn't matter the point is to let the subconscious know it's possible to let it know that it is possible to marry or to satisfy all sides of her heart and mind the subconscious will do anything that you tell it it's possible so the more examples that she finds and gives the more she encourages and reinforces the idea this is definitely possible and lets her subconscious

know what it's working towards oh this is is getting better and better do we have so we have one more step to go right one more step five step five is to solidify and affirm so the more you ingrain your New Perspective in your subconscious the more you can capitalize on its power and its resources to facilitate and even to execute towards your goal on your behalf which of course right means it's easier to materialize to manifest it to get what you want so a good affirmation for Shauna is Success increases my freedom in life

I love that success increases my freedom in life right perfect for all of us and more than an affirmation because an affirmation right it implies kind of I have to defend or improving something and and so there's an element of Doubt right you really want to think about it like a reminder it is a reminder it's a reminder of what is possible it will also serve as a reminder of the road the only Road in light of the promise that she's made above that she is taking uh she wants to repeat it as often as

feels Goods to her but before you fall asleep right before you fall asleep right upon waking and during after meditation are some of the best times to access the subconscious mind I love this you just told us how to completely reprogram or get an alignment our subconscious mind with what we want I think this is just genius and I just want to say a personal Testament to your work that you and I've known each other for years I've worked with you in several different capacities but this stuff works I will tell you that I've worked

with Kathy on a number of different occasions and it is so amazing what happens when you approach yourself in this gentle way because that's one of the things that I really love about what you teach is it's not about fighting yourself and it's not about force or pushing through it's about gentle introspection and it's a really wise way to approach getting what you want I just think it's genius yeah and capitalizing on the wisdom that exists within you with which isn't just your ego and your Consciousness like you're brilliant there's a lot of power there

there's a lot of intelligence there but you can also make use of a greater amount of wisdom and insight that's within you too so that's why I work that way yeah I love it okay so for everyone watching let's review from the top um our five steps to reprogramming that as an okay phrase to call it yeah getting your conscious on board on board with our conscious goals so step one step one is to after you recognize is to be humble be humble awesome step two get specific get specific so we want to get the

specific details about what that fear is and really interview our subconscious and know specifically what what those fears are step three step three is to make a promise so make a commitment to yourself that you're not going to go there if it's going to mean all those bad things that perhaps you were afraid of you're only going to get the thing that you want in the way that's going to feel the best for you and it's going to be in alignment right step four step four is to find examples find examples exemplary example exemplary examples

I love that that's really key so really look around and we can look around to anyone whether it's figures in history someone we know someone we don't know you can even be the first example on this planet to do it that way and I and I really do encourage people to do so so that they provide an example for the rest of us very cool so that was step four and step five step five is to solidify in a firm solidify in a firm and you said some of the best times to do that are

before we go to bed or after or before meditation yeah or right upon waking awesome oh my goodness you made it all the way to the end good on you but let's not stop here keep them momentum going you're going to love this next episode click it watch it now and I'll catch you there I didn't want fear to take hold in my bones and start slowly turning me into a person who was scared and small and insecure just because I made a mistake and it was a pretty big one I messed up doesn't mean

I was gonna give up