9 Things You Should NEVER Receive from ANYONE - Wisdom for Living | STOICISM

get ready because in this special video we are going to discover the nine things you should never accept from anyone not even your closest ones and no we're not talking about ugly socks at Christmas there are things that we simply should not accept from unsolicited opinions to other people's expectations that can hinder our personal growth but don't worry because not only will you learn to identify these emotional traps but I will also show you how to reject them with Grace and confidence and at the end of the video I will reveal to you the most

harmful thing you should never accept and how you can use it to your advantage let's get started one the Trap of unsolicited opinions have you ever felt like a magnet for unsolicited opinions those that arrive Uninvited like a door-to-door salesperson who insists on offering you something you never asked for well my friend today we are going to talk about the first weed that we must remove from our personal Garden imagine in this you are in line at the supermarket ready to pay for your cart full of vegetables and fruits suddenly the lady behind you looks

at your purchase and exclaims oh dear don't you think all that fiber is going to cause gas boom unsolicited opinion at its finest these situations may seem harmless even comical but the reality is that unsolicited opinions can be as toxic as weed killer to your dreams and self-esteem why because because without realizing it we begin to doubt our decisions question our judgment and in the worst case scenario live according to the expectations of others the great Marcus aelius Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher had something to say about this he wrote do not worry about the

opinions of others except when they coincide with your own principles what wisdom in a few words but how do we apply this in our daily lives well it's not about coming grumpy Hermits who ignore everyone it is about developing an internal filter a kind of detector of useful opinions first ask yourself did I ask for this opinion if the answer is no you already have a clue second is it coming from someone who really knows my situation and has experience on the subject if it's your neighbor giving an opinion about your career when he hasn't

even worked in your field he may not be the most authoritative voice and here comes the most important thing does this opinion resonate with my values and goals because at the end of the day you are the expert on your own life no one knows your dreams your fears and your motivations better than yourself now we're not saying you should ignore all advice sometimes those unsolicited opinions can contain nuggets of gold the trick is to learn to sift like a gold digger in a river full of stones so the next time someone offers you an

opinion you didn't ask for smile acknowledge the gesture yes even if it's the lady in line at the grocery store and then decide if that opinion deserves a place in your mental Garden or if it is better to let it pass remember your mind is like a beautiful garden take care of what you plant in it because that is what will grow and if any unsolicited opinion sneaks in don't hesitate to use your mental scissors to prune it two the dangerous gift of others expectations have you ever felt like you're living someone else's life imagine

that your life is a beautiful blank canvas you have the brush in your hand ready to create your Masterpiece but suddenly bam your parents your boss your friends and even Society appear each with their own color palette telling you exactly how you should paint your picture you should be a lawyer says one get married before 30 insists another buy a house have children get a stable job they shout in chorus and before you know it your canvas is full of Strokes that you don't recognize as yours this gift of other people's expectations can be more

dangerous than a snake hiding in your garden why because unlike unsolicited opinions these expectations often come from people we love and respect which makes them even harder to ignore but here's the interesting thing history is full of people who dared to break the mold of expectations does the name Albert Einstein ring a bell yes that sheveled genius who revolutionized physics did you know that his teachers considered him a mediocre student they even told him he would never amount to anything wow they were wrong Einstein didn't just defy expectations he shattered them he dared to think

differently to question what was established and ended up changing our understanding of the universe can you imagine what would have happened if he had listened to those who doubted him now we're not saying that you should completely ignore everyone around you and live like a rebellious Hermit the key is learning to filter those expectations to decide which ones resonate with your true self and which ones to let go and this is where our friends the stoics come to the rescue epic tetus a stoic philosopher had a brilliant technique for managing external expectations he said some

things are under our control and some things are not simple right but tremendously powerful applying this to other people's expectations we could say you can't control what others expect of you but you can control how you respond to those expectations so the next time you feel the weight of other people's expectations on your shoulders try this take a deep breath and remember they are their expectations not yours ask yourself does this expectation align with my values and goals if the answer is no be grateful for the intention because it usually comes from a place of

caring and then let it go remember that you are the artist of your life no one else can paint your Masterpiece living under the expectations of others is like wearing shoes that are not your size uncomfortable and potentially harmful in the long term so dare to walk Barefoot if necessary but do it your way remember friend that at the end of the day the only person you have to live with is yourself so why not make that coexistence an exciting authentic adventure free of other people's expectations three the hidden burden of favors with second intentions

have you ever received a gift that seemed too good to be true imagine that your life is a game of chess you are moving your pie carefully planning your strategy when suddenly someone offers you an extra porn sounds great right but what if that porn is actually a trojan horse ready to take down your defense from within favors with ulterior MO Ives are exactly that poisoned gifts disguised as generosity they may seem harmless at first even beneficial but they carry a hidden burden that may outweigh any apparent Advantage but how do we identify these cheating

favors here are some Clues observe the frequency if someone constantly offers you favors for no apparent reason set off alarm Bells pay attention to the moment does the favor come just when that person needs something from you hm suspicious listen to your intuition if something feels weird about a favor it probably is analyze the consequences does the favor put you in a compromising position or does it force you to return the gesture immediately now we're not saying you should become a paranoid who refuses all help the key is to develop a genuine favor detector senica

another of our stoic friends had a lot to say about true friendship and generosity he believed that genuine favors are done for the simple pleasure of helping without expecting anything in return so the next time someone offers you a favor ask yourself is this person acting like the senica of my life or more like an undercover salesman remember not all favors are cheats there are genuinely generous people in the world the trick is learning to distinguish them and here comes the most important thing learn to say no without feeling guilty if a favor doesn't feel

right if your gut tells you something is wrong it's perfectly okay to politely decline because at the end of the day your peace of mind is worth more than any favor don't let anyone make you feel indebted for something you didn't ask for so friend the next time someone offers you a favor that seems too good to be true take a moment take a deep breath analyze the situation and remember in the game of life you are the main player don't let let anyone else move your pieces let's now go to the fourth toxic element

that we must avoid constant negativity have you ever noticed how certain people seem to have a black cloud over their heads raining pessimism on everything around them imagine your mind as a beautiful Blooming Garden now think of those negative people as hungry snails ready to devour every Sprout of positivity you try to cultivate sounds daunting right the reality is that constant negativity is like a subtle poison that infiltrates our lives without us realizing it at first it may seem harmless even normal after all who doesn't complain from time to time but when this negativity becomes

the norm it begins to erode our happiness and well-being don't just take my word for it science has a lot to say about this Studies have shown that emotions are contagious that's right my friend negativity can stick like an emotional cold researchers call this emotional contagion and it's as real as the air you breathe a study from Indiana University found that prolonged exposure to negativity can even affect your brain function can you imagine those constant complaints aren't just ruining your day they could be rewiring your brain so what can we do how can we protect

ourselves from this subtle poison without becoming Hermits isolated from the world this is where our friends the sto come to the rescue once again Marcus aelius the emperor had a brilliant technique for maintaining Serenity in the face of negativity he said choose not to be harmed and you will not feel harmed don't feel like you are being harmed and you will not be harmed sounds simple right but it is incredibly powerful what Marcus Aurelius is teaching us is that we have the power to choose how we react to the negativity of others so the next

time you find yourself stuck in a spiral of negativity try this take a deep breath and remember that the thoughts and emotions of others do not have to become yours ask yourself is this negativity giving me something valuable if the answer is no it's time to set boundaries practice empathy sometimes the most negative people are the ones who are suffering the most understand but do not absorb cultivate your own mental Garden fill it with positive thoughts gratitude and helpful actions remember you can't control the negativity of others but you can control how you respond to

it don't let other people's pessimism Cloud your vision of life and if you find yourself surrounded by too much negativity it may be time to make some changes in your social environment after all as the Greek philosopher epicus said the key to happiness and success is choosing the right people to surround you so my friend are you ready ready to detect and neutralize the negativity in your life remember your mind is a beautiful garden take care of it nourish it and do not allow the weeds of negativity to take root in it before moving on

to the fifth trap that we must avoid if you are liking the video don't forget to hit the like button and subscribe to the Channel with the Bell so you don't miss future videos and if you enjoy this type of content as much as I do comment I like stoicism by the way if you want to join this beautiful Community you can become a member of the channel by clicking on the link in the pinned comment let's continue learning together and improving Our Lives five the dangerous illusion of external validation have you ever found yourself

obsessively checking your phone eagerly awaiting that notification telling you that someone has liked your latest post if so you are not alone imagine your self-esteem as a balloon every Li every compliment every pat on the back is like a breath of air that inflates it sounds good right but there's a problem what happens when those blows stop constantly seeking approval is like building your house on quicksand it seems stable at first but at any moment everything can collapse and trust me buddy you don't want to be there when that happens let me tell you a

funny anecdote that perfectly illustrates this point one day Juan decided to post a photo of his breakfast a simple bowl of of oatmeal you spent 20 minutes choosing the perfect filter another 10 writing a clever description and then you waited he checked his phone every 30 seconds for the next hour when she finally received her first like she almost jumped for Joy but when 2 hours passed and he only had six likes he fell into a spiral of self-criticism is my life that boring he asked himself should I have added strawberries sound familiar it's easy

to laugh at Juan but the truth is that many of us fall into the same trap perhaps in less obvious ways now what would our friend epicus say about all this this stoic philosopher had a powerful insight into the true source of self-esteem he said do not look for things to happen as you wish wish for things to happen as they do and you will be happy What epic tetus is teaching us is that our happiness and self-esteem should not depend on external fact s that we cannot control instead of seeking approval from others we

should focus on our actions and values so how can we free ourselves from this trap of external validation here are some ideas practice self-reflection ask yourself why you do what you do is it for yourself or to impress others set your own standards Define what success means to you not by social media likes celebrate your personal achievements it doesn't matter if no one else sees or understands them learn to be comfortable with disagreement not everyone is going to approve of your decisions and that's okay remember true validation comes from within it's like having an inexhaustible

source of water in your own garden instead of depending on the unpredictable reign of other people's approval so the next time you find yourself craving a compliment or a like stop take a deep breath and ask yourself do I really need this or can I find that validation within myself because at the end of the day the only opinion that really matters is yours and that my friend is something no one can take away from you now let's dive into the sixth trap we should avoid the invisible weight of unfair comparisons have you ever felt

like you're in an endless race always looking over your shoulder to see who's catching up to you imagine your life as a train ride you are enjoying the scenery moving at your own pace when suddenly you see another train that seems to be going faster what are you doing many of us fall into the temptation of comparing ourselves forgetting that each train has its own destination and its own track comparisons to others can steal our peace in such a subtle way that we don't even realize it it is like a silent Thief that takes our

joy and satisfaction leaving us with a void that seems impossible to fill but we are not alone in this fight even people we admire and who seem to have it all figured out struggle with this inner demon take Lady Gaga one of the most successful artists of our time in an interview she revealed that for years she struggled with constant comparison to other artists which led her to doubt herself and her unique talent I used to look at other women in the industry and feel so insecure I wondered if I was pretty or if my

music was good enough she confessed this Revelation shows us that even those who seem to be on Top of the World are not immune to the poison of comparison so how can we free ourselves from this invisible burden this is where stoic wisdom comes to our rescue epic tetus one of the great stoic philosophers offers us a powerful exercise to free us from the need to compare ourselves the exercise is simple every time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else stop and ask yourself is this under my control the answer will invariably be no

you cannot control the talents circumstances or successes of others the only thing you can control are your own actions and attitudes let's practice together identify comparative thinking I wish I were as successful as my coworker stop and breathe deeply ask yourself is my partner's success under my control recognize that you are not redirect your attention to what you can control your efforts your dedication your learning this exercise may seem simple but its power lies in repetition every time you practice it you will be strengthening your ability to focus on your own path instead of constantly

looking at that of others remember your journey is unique there's no point in comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter 20 each person has their own pace their own challenges and their own victories so the next time you find yourself falling into the comparison trap imagine your back on that train in instead of looking out the window and comparing yourself to other trains focus on your own Journey enjoy the scenery appreciate the stops along the way and remember that each kilometer traveled is an achievement in itself because at the end of the day the

only comparison that really matters is the one you make with yourself are you better today than yesterday are you moving towards your own goals that my friend is what really counts trap number seven the prison of unsolicited advice have you ever felt like everyone is an expert in your life except you today we will dive into the seventh trap that we must avoid the prison of unsolicited advice imagine your mind as a house you are the owner but suddenly it seems like everyone has a key and comes in Uninvited moving the furniture and telling you

how you should live frustrating right unsolicited advice is like those unwanted guests they arrive unannounced stay longer than NE necessary and often leave an emotional mess in their wake but how can we handle this situation without becoming antisocial Hermits first it is important to understand the difference between requested and unsolicited advice the first ones are like inviting a friend to dinner you wait for them appreciate them and probably enjoy them seconds are like that nosy neighbor who shows up at your door just as you're about to sit down to eat so how can we politely

handle this unwanted advice here are some strategies be grateful but don't commit a simple thank you for sharing your opinion can do wonders set clear boundaries I appreciate your concern but I'd rather handle this my way redirect the conversation subtly change the topic to avoid more unsolicited advice use humor sometimes a light joke can relieve tension and get your message across remember it's not about being rude it's about protecting your mental and emotional space now what would our friend Marcus Aurelius say about all this this philosopher Emperor had a profound insight into inner wisdom he

wrote look inside you there is the source of good that can always spring up if you always keep up what Marcus Aurelius is teaching us is that true wisdom does not come from outside but from within ourselves we do not need to constantly seek outside advice instead we should learn to trust our own intuition and experience this does not mean that we should ignore all advice sometimes outside perspectives can be valuable the key is learning to filter and distinguish between the advice we really need and the advice that is just noise but let's face it

not all advice is bad the key is knowing how to distinguish between useful advice and advice that is not a golden rule that I like to follow is only follow the advice of people who are where you want to be for example in my personal life I have a YouTube channel and I go to the gym regularly if someone who has never created content online gives me advice on how to run my channel I'll probably take it with a grain of salt but if a successful YouTuber offers me his opinion I will definitely pay attention

the same applies to the gym if someone who has never lifted a weight tells me how I should train I will appreciate their interest but I will follow my own path however if an exper experienced coach gives me advice I am more likely to seriously consider it so the next time you find yourself bombarded by unsolicited advice take a deep breath remember that you are the expert on your own life and know your situation better than anyone else practice the art of polite listening but don't feel obligated to follow every piece of advice you receive

treat unsolicited advice like a buffet take what works for you and leave the rest remember the most important voice to listen listen to is your own as Marcus Aurelius would say true wisdom is within you waiting to be discovered so are you ready to break free from the prison of unsolicited advice remember your mind is your Castle you decide who comes in and who stays don't be afraid to be the gatekeeper of your own thoughts and decisions trap number eight The Mirage of quick fixes have you ever been tempted to look for a magical shortcut

to solve your problems imagine your life as a giant puzzle each piece represents a challenge a learning an experience now what if someone offered you a superglue that promised to put all the pieces together in an instant tempting right but would it really work quick fixes are like that imaginary super glue they promise instant results but often leave us with a sticky mess on our hands why do we fall into this trap over and over again a study conducted by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania shed light on this phenomenon they discovered that our brain

is programmed to look for the path of least resistance when faced with a complex problem A Primitive part of our brain craves an immediate solution even if logic tells us it is unlikely to work but here's the problem real life doesn't work like that significant challenges require time effort and perseverance to overcome there is no magic pill for success as much as we would like to believe it so how can we resist the temptation of quick fixes this is where stoic wisdom comes into play epicus one of the great stoic philosophers reminds us no great

achievement is achieved suddenly this simple phrase contains a profound truth truly valuable achievements require patience and constant effort it's not about finding a shortcut but about enjoying the journey and learning from each step let's practice together how to approach challenges in a more stoic way identify the problem clearly Define what you want to achieve Embrace complexity recognize that important problems rarely have Simple Solutions plan for the long term set realistic goals and divide the path into manageable steps cultivate patience remember that real progress takes time celebrate small advances every step forward is a victory remember

the next time you're tempted by a quick fix pause take a deep breath and ask yourself am I looking for a shortcut or am I willing to do the work necessary because at the end of the day lasting Solutions aren't found in a magic pill or a secret trick they are built with constant effort patience and perseverance as epicus would say difficulties are what show people who they are so are you ready to leave behind the Mirage of quick fixes and embrace the path of constant effort remember every challenge you face is an opportunity to

grow to learn to become a stronger version of yourself don't look for shortcuts look for growth remember the journey is just as important as the destination and who knows you might discover that the real treasure was along the way all along let's now go to the ninth and final trap that we must avoid the guilt that does not belong to us have you ever felt like a magnet for other people's guilt imagine your mind as a garden you've worked hard to cultivate positive thoughts and healthy emotions but suddenly someone comes along and starts throwing their

own weeds into your space What are you doing many of us out of habit or to avoid conflict accept them without thinking but accepting other people's faults is like watering those weeds you give them life you allow them to grow and before you know it they have invaded your entire mental Garden why is it so harmful to accept faults that are not ours first it robs us of energy that we could use in our own growth second it distorts our perception of reality and third it keeps us trapped in patterns of victimization so how can

we free ourselves from this trap here's a practical technique for setting healthy boundaries identify recognize when someone is trying to pass the blame on to you breathe take a moment to calm down before responding validate acknowledge the other person's feelings without accepting blame set limits communicate clearly that you will not accept that blame redirect encourage the person to seek constructive Solutions practice this technique and you will see how your mental garden begins to bloom without the weeds of other people's guilt remember what our friend epicus said it is not things that disturb us but our

opinions about them what epicus is teaching us is that we have the power to choose how we perceive situations so the next time someone tries to pass their blame Onto You Remember You Are The Gardener of your mind you have the power to decide which plants grow there and which don't it's not about being insensitive to the problems of others it's about maintaining a healthy balance you can offer support and empathy without carrying blame that doesn't belong to you remember every time you reject unfair blame you are planting a seed of self-esteem and self-respect and

those are the most beautiful flowers you can grow in your mental Garden are you ready to free yourself from the trap of other people's guilt start today observe your interactions identify when someone is trying to pass the blame on you and start setting healthy boundaries do the best you can with what is in your power and take the rest as it comes throughout this special video we have explored the nine traps that we should avoid in our daily lives from unsolicited opinions to secondhand guilt we've unmasked these silent thieves of our peace of mind but

how to act practice wise rejection what do we do with all this knowledge this is where the art of wise rejection comes into play it's not about closing doors on a whim but about carefully choosing what we allow into our lives it's like being the goalkeeper of your own exclusive Club not everyone deserves to enter imagine your mind as a beautiful garden wise rejection is the that protects your flowers from Weeds every no you say to something that doesn't serve you is a yes to your personal growth but how can we practice this wise rejection

without feeling guilty here are some strategies recognize your value remember that your time and energy are precious resources be kind but firm you don't need to be rude to set limits offer Alternatives when possible sometimes no can be not now or some other way practice self-reflection regularly ask yourself if your current commitments are serving you I propose a final exercise to put into practice everything we have learned take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns in the first colum write down all the things you have been accepting in your life that no

longer serve you they can be commitments toxic relationships negative habits in the second column write what you would gain if you stopped accepting each of those things more time Peace of Mind energy for your true passions this exercise will give you a Clear Vision of what you need to start rejecting wisely in your life remember every know is an opportunity for a more meaningful yes wise rejection is not about closing off the world but about Opening space for what really matters it's like cleaning out your emotional closet sometimes you need to push out the old

to make room for the new so the next time you're faced with a decision ask yourself does this deserve a place in my mental Garden if the answer is no don't hesitate to reject it you are protecting something invaluable your inner peace your self-love and your potential for growth as Marcus Aurelius said very little is necessary for a happy life it is all within you in your way of thinking your freedom begins in your mind you are the captain of your ship and the AR of your life are you ready to take control and navigate

your way to a fulfilling life if you've made it this far write self-love in the comments so I'll know who the victors are who made it to the end of the video don't forget to like subscribe and turn on notifications for more content like this share this video with those who may find it useful and consider supporting the channel by becoming a member Link in the pinned comment now I recommend you watch one of these two videos so that you continue learning learning about stoicism and human psychology a big hug and until next time