Tik Toks I Found On My StepBro's Computer ??

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Video Transcript:

What's a video that lives rent-free in your head here's mine you have 16 shots perfect what a cutie patootie wait where's the rest of it he's not going to say anything about this guy [Laughter] big brain energy so if they're stuck at the bottom the bow bows or whatever you suck them Up and then squirt it into the other parts so that it's distributed i blew it oh wha what does that say anaya [Laughter] [Music] no the dog said yes bless you bless you this is a teacher hello i'm a doctor you can tell by my outfit oh hi doctor are you seated yeah i'm Seated because you want to be sitting down for this one for this info hold on let me check my notes really quick i'm so nervous you're going to die okay okay okay hold on this is really hard for me it's it's like my first day i'm so sorry that is so hard for you you're gonna die willie what are you doing i'm just standing here but men don't stand with Their hands in front of their crotch for goodness sakes well where do you want all over me so i was trying to get this girl's number right she was like you're not really my type you're she's skinny i like my guys a bit more pudgy [Music] oh look at your [ __ ] outfit remember you look like oh my gosh did you hear myra passed away No this is how social media looks to me tick tock hasn't verified you yet how does this make you feel [Music] what are you doing how'd he do that what a good spot to sit nice how do you expect to get down from there oh my god are you [Music] Yeah let's play no you can't do that because i have a horse you can't do that no no that's not fair no i have a generation and then i go back and then i throw the nice i did not know that you could breathe in the shower [ __ ] me love what kind of showers you've been taking german ones can you tell what i'm saying right now hello hi hi hi hi Girls how are you how are you i'm good i'm watching real housewives of miami how are you what are you girls up to andy's leaving in the morning we're watching tv you are okay are you okay you're acting a little weird are you all right i'm okay you sound like a little bit roblotic you stink like [ __ ] ow Nice this kfc sandwich looks so good it really does you want that yes please i haven't eaten in four days and i bought the collapse of exhaustion you know what how about we oh my god thank you i really need that [ __ ] just kidding bro how the [ __ ] is y'all getting up there bro i'm gonna try that [ __ ] oh my god he's dead no Hey did you know that kinks are actually hereditary wait a minute [Music] like father likes can i get a cheeseburger a four piece and i didn't get to finish so this filter shows you your most searched thing on the internet every day so if you scroll in you can see that my most searched image is uh it's nothing Don't go near any place with spooky haunted forbidden or creepy in the name well logical right or hydroclonic but that's for a whole different reason man [Applause] god mom men that i would replace my husband with yeah i know how this goes karen it's going to say no one [Laughter] what do you got all the avengers on here no i also have jason Gerard dwayne what do you want a first name basis with these guys who's next you see i've got you on there oh great how do i compete so we still need to study do you want to go to the library are you going to go to the library hello hello i can see your phone there's nothing on your phone do you want to get boba yeah oh my god miss my water's just broken jessica Estas in spanish i need to go to the house your solo [Music] classes act like one of your dogs at dinner time and record their reaction caramel latte of rice i didn't ask for whipped cream caramel latte over ice no whip hey buddy you need a ride i was just on my way to the big doofus convention This is humiliating special needs your special needs though you need a helmet you need a helmet you are special needs this is how i'm going to survive this crash first off i'm in the front of the bus because we are not in the back of the bus anymore rosa made sure that bless up rosa all right so i'll grab everybody around me and form a human meat shield first impact on the left side people are gone Right side people are gone friendly people are gone i grab the one behind me put him in front of me and i'm cleaning him for dear life he's screaming no let me go we're gonna die i'm like no you're gonna die and then eventually i see that we're spinning out of control so i throw him out of the window he equalizes some typical force first impact i'm gone broken neck but i'm still alive and then we're bracing for impact in the water We hit the water hit the water but i have iron man gauntlets boom out the bus we're done i'll live i win i win i broke my airpods so now i got to use these things these things right here they're wireless but i look like somebody dad like with these glasses tell me you go to susquehanna without telling me you go to susquehanna i don't go to [ __ ] squirt but look what I made it's a long do-rag let me know if y'all want one guess what i just got done doing oh god i was watching porn yo where'd you get that cup i'm gonna need that cup bro hey what's up hi billy wow you've got a dog how old are you now um 16 16 sorry i blame for a second yeah you're getting so old your memory is getting bad yeah almost prehistoric at this point Yeah you got a girlfriend yet uh yeah not a boy she bad oh you could say that hey my man take a seat so we can get started all right all right so you been getting any action i mean oh you dirty dog all right open up for me real quick all right do you ever eat ass nah much better change huh [Music] yeah double homicide [Music] how they get a picture of them on the book while holding the book on a book this is button yeesh watch me open a sumo orange but is it very tasty yum yum very tasty yum yum oh ah [ __ ] by myself trying to take a poo damn that feels so cool thank you macaroni With the chicken strips yo this [ __ ] kinda looks like the battle pass not gonna lie actually i don't i don't think he did this one i might have messed up oh god [Music] [Music] you stupid [ __ ] you cannot use the double cup for the [ __ ] slurpee this is the Devil to go just kick out one of these devices oh i know but i'm afraid if i kick out the wrong one oh i can fill in an abuse [Music] can we talk about how disgusting american school lunches are you know the higher ups are always like yeah we give the kids the perfect amount of nutrients they need to survive oops leaving a chair of chocolate whey Protein hopefully a female with a dumpy and gymshark leggings don't follow me home giving up giving myself a hickey and seeing if my girlfriend notices part one [Music] all right let's see what she says hey did you forget to put the what is this you're cheating on with john levin are you serious does anybody Else's washer do this bro i [ __ ] up oh we're chilling i'm in bed i'm telling you that's gummy bear it says it's cannibis [Music] i don't know what you're talking about it's gummy bears are you sure yes you don't joke with me i will eat this song no no no your blood sugar no blood sugar i have no blood sugar Stability okay it's okay i told you okay yeah damn i messed up we gotta go balls have you ever done something for a hundred days in a row smelling like dogs damn i could probably hit you y'all please look at this facebook thread you won't regret it i promise sorry to be the bearer of bad news but i've just found the cat in the road it has been hit by a car and has died i am Looking for its owner so if anyone up high road well lane or near is missing a black and white cat think it's male please could you contact me or if anyone knows how to dispose of a dead cat not belonging to myself that will also be helpful information thanks in advance does the answer to the name tamo mine been missing two days now usually indoor cat one answer to anything else is dead oh sorry i see you got a picture of when he Alive i see with my cap why would you take a pic of the dead cat surely you would put up a pic of your cat and ask the question is it this one this will be so much quicker and cause no distress to everyone on facebook having to look at a poor defense's dead cat how would she have a photo of it when it was alive she just found the poor cat dead yeah sorry i realized my cat's not here So i can't take picture we'll take one if he come home still no cat so i can't take picture i google similar one and poked like that but cat so i just bought my cat all these toys and he was like nope box so i made this box of his [ __ ] need when justin was performing at the jake paul fight and forgot he still had to sing another song hey thanks for having me guys we the Band baby are you that mentally enslaved and intellectually subservient and intellectually molested and ideologically molested hey bestie you've reached tech support let's be real here are you trying to stalk someone on instagram okay you know we're getting somewhere you have an android sorry we don't deal with that i need you to find the tagged photo bethany i have a leo i have one moment Please i have a leo can i transfer we'll be right with you our operators are busy at the moment was that your son isn't picking up i'm sorry that it's not a tech issue they just do not want to speak to you how am i today i'm working at a tech support honey how do you think i okay my attention span cannot take this i need you to pick it up can i hang up on people no okay oh my god i think you're disconnecting Oh no i sure hope my dad doesn't follow me home i haven't seen him in like 12 years that would be so [Music] um i'm just letting you know that i have your grandma and i'm coming to drop off right now um i think you have the wrong number no this is the retirement home well this is uh the promenade of blue hill yeah i have your grandma I'm coming right now okay where do i drop her off what do you mean my grandma like i have her with me who is this your mom what i'm coming right now okay can you please just open the door cause i don't know how to do her i'm gonna leave her in the on the curb hello hi i'm coming right now with your grandma who is coming me me who Me you who is this [Music] you

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