How to use your words wisely... | Buddhism In English

Nam budhay welcome to another video from today's video we're going to be discussing about how can we use our speech our words in a wiser way right now to do that in Buddhism we learn five things five rules to follow and ask from ourselves five questions before we speak right now this is taught in regarding to reproving to someone like showing a mistake to someone one but these five rules can be added to our normal day-to-day speech as well and it will make a greater change and it will make a greater impact on ourselves as

well as others so that is why it is important to understand the words that we speak has got power there's a beautiful saying that says words can make people and words can break people so that understand the words that we speak is got power has got power and it matters so how can we speak in a wiser way right how can we use our words in a wiser way now in Buddhism we learn five rules to follow this right five questions to ask from ourself before we speak now the first thing the first question that

we need to ask from ourself before we speak something is that am I speaking in the proper time right sometimes even though it is true even though it is truthful what we speak maybe not the proper time to speak now what is the proper time to speak now the whole idea the whole point of speaking is to get the message across to the other person in the correct way but sometimes even though we are saying the truth even though we are saying the right thing that person who is receiving the message may not be in

a condition to get the message right he may be he or she may be not in a mindset to receive the message so that if we convey the message they may not get the same idea that we are having now the whole point of communication is to get the idea to plan the same idea on the other person right but if we did not in the proper time it won't work and that is why in Buddhism we learn wait until the proper time ask from yourself am I speaking in the proper time right now for

an example if you need to show a mistake in someone if you need to correct a mistake in someone now you need to communicate that is where you need the communication in like it is very important at that time right the right communication but if you say that mistake if you show that mistake when that person is angry right when that person's mind is filled with anger what happens they may not get the idea they may not see the mistake that we are showing okay so what we do we wait until the anger cools down

and open his ears and mind now when we are when our mind is in anger we are not ready to listen to anyone right we're not not ready to think about what is wrong or what is right what is right that is why the Buddha says when your mind is in Anger you don't know what is good and bad right so that we need to understand if we need to get a message across to that person we need to wait for the proper time until their mind is open until their ears are open until they

are ready to listen Listen to listen and understand that message so that waiting until the proper time is very important when we communicate that is the first question that we need to ask from ourself am I speaking in the right time the second thing that we need to follow is we need to ask from ourself am I speaking truthfully right the Buddha says you need to follow the truthful speech you need to say the truth but even though the truth you need to put it in the right time in the right place right the Buddha

says even I right even the Buddha even though it is it is the truth he waits until the right time to say it sometimes it is not the correct time to say the truth so that we need to wait until that now this doesn't say that we need to tell lies to cover up that right this says that you need to be patient and not panicked until you need to use the proper word so the Buddha says that speaking truthfully is very important why because when you speak the truth sometimes you may lose certain things

but when you speak the truth you gain one very important thing and that is the truth that is the trust trust is very important in any kind of relationship and that is why you need to be truthful but also you need to wait until the proper time okay so that is the second thing that you need to ask am I speaking truthfully and also we learn in Buddhism that speak gently not harshly so that you need to ask from yourself am I speaking harshly am I speaking gently sometimes what you say is true right when

you say is the correct time right you say it in the correct time you what you say is is the truth but the tone matters right the words that we use to convey the message matters I have seen a lot of people showing others mistakes with rude and harsh words sometimes putting them down like putting their mentality down and hurting their mentality and showing the truth showing they're showing a mistake but they don't get that message why because they have heard their mentality sometimes when you use those such kind of words their emotions get hurt

so that they're not ready to listen to it now why we convey the message why we communicate is we understand that this is the right thing this is the correct thing but we need to I need to make him right I need to make him correct I don't need to see that mistake again in his life I need the good of that person now if you truly love that person you have to use your words in a proper way so that he get the fullest message he or she get the fullest message that you are

conveying and that is why we learn in Buddhism that gentle words can change people's mindsets but rude and harsh words make nothing but people more stubborn in their own ideas so that understand gentle words are the best way to change other people's mindsets there are a lot of examples even in Buddhism that we learn that the Buddha have bodis satwa used the gentle words to change people right so that understand speaking gently is very important now what makes a gentle man and a gentle woman is not how you wear right it's the words that you

speak it's the way that you behave it's how gentle you treat other people that is what make you a gentle man and a gentle woman so understand that speaking gently is really really important so ask from yourself am I speaking gently and also we learn in Buddhism that your speech must be beneficial for the other person not harmful now to do that you need to have an intention that you truly love that person right right you truly love your idea to to see that in in that person's mind and making their life much better right

see the good on them now to do that you need to speak in a beneficial way so that that person corrects their mistakes right that person's life becomes better by listening to your words so that the Buddha says that always speak beneficial words not the words that harm other people's life so then you need to ask from yourself that am I speaking beneficially but not harmfully so that understand you need to speak to the people to see the good on them and the final question that we need to ask from ourself is that am I

speaking lovingly out of love and compassion not with inner hate sometimes we use our words even though the good words good things but we have the inner hate right when we have the inner hate that is the intention behind our words and that intention can create negative situations in our life and also the other people's lives and that is why in in Buddhist way of right speech we refrain from all the negative speeches like rude words harsh words right or some some mean words that has the negative intentions behind right so the intention behind your

speech is really really important so that understand ask from yourself that am I speaking to this person out of love and compassion not with inner hate right so the Buddha says that speak with love and compassion okay Sometimes some people complain okay if we speak with love and compassion they are not ready to understand it and we believe that speaking with like kind words and compassionate and gentle words will make other people not to understand what we say sometimes they say okay to make someone understand we need to use rude and harsh words but that

is not always correct right the reason why believe we believe that the r using those those rude and harsh words are the is the only way to get the message to that person is because when we were children we were treated with rou rude and harsh words right we were disciplined in the rude and hard ways so that we believe that this is the only way to do that but it is not right if you start to use the in the correct way your speech it is pretty sure that you get the message correctly to

that person and also they understand it and they make their mistakes correct so that understand these are the five things that we need to follow we need these are the five five questions that we need to ask from ourselves to get the message correctly to communicate in a correct way and also to make our speech wiser so follow these five things in your speech and make your life even more better number