My Brother Almost Died (18 Times...)

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[Music] hey brener if you jump off this Cliff right now I'll give you a penny oh hi I'm Bryson and a while ago I made a video about the times I almost died and the times I got hurt really bad but that got me thinking about the other injuries in my family and one sibling came to mind one who would dodged the grasp of death more times than I can count the sibling who had little to no regard for his own mortality and would regularly hurt himself the wild child if you will the youngest brother
brener this is going to be a long video because brener gets injured a lot I don't want to cut out good stories or do a part two so let's just sit down relax grab some popcorn and laugh at my brother's pain now almost all of Brenner's injuries were self-inflicted however I think it's only right we start the video with bren's very first injury the one he got from me brener had recently been born and my parents invited me into their room to say hi to my new baby brother as I said hello to him he
reached out his hand and scratched my chest now obviously brener was just a baby he had no control of his body and was just moving around but my 4-year-old brain could not let this slide how dare you first you come into my house take my spot as the cute youngest child and take all the attention from my parents and now this I offered you my hand in in friendship and you attacked me you must pay recompense for your actions hey no stop just calm down don't do it my parents tried to stop me but it
was too late I reached out and scratched him back he began to cry and my parents put me in timeout little did brener know his pain had just begun okay in all seriousness I felt really bad for what I did even now I still regularly apologize to brener about it but he can't even remember it so he doesn't care brener my conscience is really been getting to me lately and I'm so sorry about what I did dude that was 17 years ago can you just move on I forgive you okay thank you I love you
brener I'm so glad I could get that off my chest remember in My Pain video where my brother Brody slammed the door in my fingers yeah apparently that experience runs in the family Brody walked through a door as a young brener was sticking his fingers in the hinges and Brody slammed the door again Brenner's finger bent every which way if I had a nickel for every time I slammed a sibling's fingers in the door I'd have two nickels that isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice luckily bren's fingers didn't break and the
doctors fixed him up feel better soon Buddy and don't get into any more trouble I will make no such promises one time me and Brena were playing tag and rather than be tagged by me he jumped into a busy street and a car barely avoided him I guess brener was more willing to die than lose at TAG would you rather die a terrible death or definitely death wait you didn't hear the other op death I genuinely don't know why he is so accident prone but this next story was no accident you know how sometimes your
mom has a really good friend so she decides to make you hang out with her friend's children but you don't like them yeah when I was younger my mom sent me and brener to play with the neighbor kids Jake and Steven the main reason I didn't like Jake was because he said your sister is so hot Britney was 18 Jake and I were eight have you considered shutting up anyways I spent the day tolerating Jake Shenanigans but eventually I hid from him on the front porch and watched brener and Steven play in the front yard
come here brener I want to show you something brener walked up to him Steven grabbed his hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of scissors and started cutting bren's fingers stop I ran over to them to check on brener his fingers were bleeding and he was crying I slapped the scissors out of Steven's hand grabbed him by the arm and forced him inside to his mom hey Steven just cut bren's fingers with scissors H oh Stephen what that's it I was shocked call my mom right now so she can pick us up
we're leaving we left and Brenner's fingers healed just fine but still that reaction from the mom was not okay luckily I never had to go to that family's house again reminds me of another time Brody was really young and another boy was punching him my mom took the kid to his mom and told her that his son was hitting Brody and all she did was say soft hands Hunter I mean come on soft hands how about punishing your kid for hitting a stranger you clearly don't know how to discipline children here I'll show you how
it's done a lot of Brenner's injuries were caused by him wanting to grow up fast and to keep up with his older brothers for example my turn Bryson doesn't need training wheels on his bike so neither do [Music] I let me try but one time brener tried to set a trend that the other brothers would follow and the consequences were severe this next story is the real reason I made this video I'm honestly still surprised that brener survived this it was bad in our basement we had a tall exercise machine that looked like this brener
decided that he wanted to climb it and jump off it onto our bean bag for fun however this time it went horribly wrong brener pushed the bean bag close to the machine climbed up and jumped head first with the same regard for his life that a Minecraft player has when seeing one block of water at the bottom of a cliff part of the bean bag covered the exercise bench which extended out hiding the big metal part under underneath brener thought that since there was part of the bean bag there it would be soft but his
head slammed through the bean bag into the metal part and he split his forehead wide open mom and Britney came running into brener crying with blood all over him they freaked out and dashed him out of the house to take him to the hospital I only caught a glimpse of him as they ran out but I could tell it was bad Britney and Mom later told me that they could see Brenner's skull through the gash in his head my dad sent me to a friend's house so they could watch me while my parents took care
of brener I remember sitting on their stairs terrified that I'd never see brener again God please hear my prayer if you make Brer be okay I promise I'll never be mean to him [Music] again at the hospital since brener was so accident prone they kept pointing to cuts on his head that were from previous Shenanigans is this cut old or new is this cut old or new is this old or new finally my sister was like this the gaping gash on his forehead that is new forget the rest of it fix that somehow the doctors
patched him up I think they even had a plastic surgeon involved in fixing his head when I next saw Brunner he was up on his feet with 25 stitches in his head but he was okay pH I thought you were going to die brener I'm so glad you're okay anyway [Laughter] Bruner still has a massive scar across his forehead but thanks to the doctors he was okay Bruner can you please calm down on the injuries you're going to die if you're not careful it's not hard to die I could do it like right now but
like number two another time a young brener was using the bathroom and found a bottle of painkillers on the countertop they were coated in a sugary glaze to make them go down easier so brener took the pills one by one and sucked on them till they ran out of sugar then spat them out he did this over and over and over and from sucking on the pills he got sick and passed out I'm tired my mom discovered brener unconscious on the bathroom floor surrounded by pills what and once again the doctors proved why it's good
to go to college not for me though but as for you guys good for you I don't know how they saved him honestly I don't really know how doctors work for all I know they could have removed all of Brenner's blood which was tainted with drugs thrown it away then pumped him up with fresh blood I don't know another time he swallowed a bunch of coins and again my parents rushed him to the hospital where he was x-rayed to show a pile of coins in his stomach they told my poor parents to dig through his
waist until they got all the coins he was like a piggy bank but way more disgusting he was like a piggy bank but way more disgusting honestly with how often brener visited the hospital I'm surprised they didn't have a special section of the hospital just for him this next story is surprisingly the only time that Brunner has ever broken a bone you would think at this point that he would have no bones left because of how often he gets hurt but nope he still has bones my family has a small motorcycle that we call Big
Bera it's fun to ride around on but it has no suspension it is two wheels and a motor that's it one day brener was driving it and despite knowing that Big Bertha had no suspension he decided to ride it off a curb the bike bounced Brunner swerved and lost control and he went head over handlebar he landed on his arm and totally snapped his wrist One hospital trip later and brener had a cast he wanted his cast to be unique so he asked me to paint it to look like thanos's Gauntlet so I got the
paint out and painted it as best I could to look like The Gauntlet it looked pretty cool in my opinion but then later Brenner's arm got itchy the doctors told him that his arm would be itchy at first but that if he ignored it the itchiness would go away they also specifically told him to leave the castle pH and to not shove anything into the cast to try and scratch his itch however the itch got the better of brener so without consulting anyone he grabbed Brody's glasses and started shoving the long end into his cast
in an attempt to scratch his itch he pulled the glasses out only to realized that the little rubber covering had slipped off and it was now stuck in the cast determined to scratch his itch and recover the rubber cover brener somehow removed all of the soft wrappings underneath the cast leaving only the hard outer shell brener had scratched his itch and was satisfied then mom walked in and saw what brener had done what what did I do Mom why didn't do nothing they went back to the hospital and explained the situation can you imagine being
a doctor and setting someone up with a nice cast to help them heal and the next thing you know they ruined it I feel like the maid I just cleaned up this M can we keep it clean for for 10 minutes they had to cut off his Thanos cast and make another one for him brener got home and asked me to paint his new cast no I spent a lot of time painting that last one and you ruined it how do I know you won't ruin it again come on man just paint it again why
why should I be penalized because of your sloppiness so Bruner went around wearing a lame blue cast rather than a cool Thanos cast a few months later the doctors took off the cast and they realized that Brunner's arm had healed crooked it was literally like a 15° angle my mom pointed this out and the doctor said yeah well it's within the range of crookedness that we consider to be acceptable so we're just going to leave it like that what that's easy for you to say you're not the one who has to live with a crooked
arm fix his arm and do it right this time so the doctors explained that in order to fix it they would have to rebre Brunner's arm angle it correctly and recast it do it wait wait what hold them down wait no so they did that and Brunner's arm eventually healed correctly but not without pain now you would think that after breaking his arm on big Bera that Brunner would never touch that thing again right nope let me tell you one last story one day me and brener got bored and decided to go for a ride
him on Big Bertha and me on my go-kart we chased each other around a parking lot but then I thought how can I make racing around more interesting and my mind went to my favorite racing game Mario Kart you know the game where you destroy your enemies by throwing items at them so I decided to drive by brener and throw my flip-flops at him we went back and forth throwing flipflops at each other like green shells for some time then I zoomed by and got a good flip-flop strike on brener and he wanted to retaliate
with something stronger he grabbed a big tree branch and drove towards me he swung the branch and I swerved out of the way but the branch was so heavy that swinging it threw brener off balance he swerved and flew over the handlebars once more again freaking again brener was scraped and bruised but luckily nothing broke and he finally learned his lesson and he doesn't drive big berth anymore but I do here we are at the end of the video and yet that's not even all of berner's injuries but if I keep talking about them this
video is going to be 30 minutes long and at that time he'll probably injure himself again let's quickly get through some last stories lightning Round We visited a janky aquarium that let you swim with sharks and a bamboo shark bit Brenner's finger brener went to a trampoline park attempted a stupid trick and landed on his head and had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks brener and Brody went kayaking Brody tried to Splash brener with the paddle but it skipped off the water slammed into bren's face and cracked his front teeth a car
almost backed over him as a child but he hung onto the bumper while being dragged and my sister stopped the car to save him his friend accidentally shot him in the forehead with a BB gun and his forehead still has a dent in conclusion Brenner's Guardian Angel is built different because she has saved brener more times than I can count and as much as I make fun of him I am grateful for that as he has grown I think he has gotten a little less accident prone let's hope it keeps going in that direction cuz
I'm pretty sure he has used up all of his Nine Lives God has sent his soul back to the living world so many times at this point that if brener shows up there again God might just say oh forget it and keep him well hey it could be worse at least his soul is going to heaven let hey guys it's me your favorite Bryson thanks for watching it's been a while so let me make some announcements I'm a featured Creator at VidCon this year and I hope to see you there I have a Tik Tok
now go check it out we also started doing YouTube shorts thanks so much for the positive feedback on those the first short I posted is now the most viewed video on the channel thanks a ton for that we have two teams now the goal is to be working on two videos at a time the red team made this video and guess what two more videos are in the works right now I can't wait to show them to you they're some of the best videos we've made we have a Spanish language Channel as well so check
that out if you speak Spanish we also hit 3 million subscribers Yahoo I'm working on two super secret awesome projects right now that I'm real excited for stay tuned for that also I turned 22 a while ago so that's neat I can't wait to see all the comments saying did his voice get deeper those are always fun I can't wait for you guys to meet me in real life and realize that my normal speaking voice actually sounds like this okay I love you and wear your seat belt
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