My Parents Gave My College Fund To My Brother And Told Me To ‘Figure It Out... - Best Reddit Stories

I'm 24 and my name is Emily if you'd asked me 5 years ago what I thought my relationship with my family would look like today I would have painted a picture full of warmth support and maybe a little bit of that tough love everyone talks about but what actually happened is well let's just say I got a huge lesson in self-reliance in the true meaning of family expectations it all started when I was in high school I wasn't the perfect student never was but I always tried I worked hard to keep my grades decent and

participated in extracurriculars honestly I wanted to go to college get a degree and carve out a career for myself that was the dream right but my parents they weren't exactly on the same page they had always been tough on me especially my mom she's a high achiever always pushing always striving Dad wasn't as vocal about it but I could tell he didn't want to coddle me either I was the second child and the unspoken rule was that I had to figure things out for myself my older brother Aaron was their Golden Boy smart athletic the

type to get straight is without breaking a sweat I couldn't compete with that anyway senior year rolled around and the whole College talk began my brother had already been accepted to a prestigious University and my parents were gearing up for his tuition but for me it felt like pulling teeth every time I brought up applications or financial aid my mom would brush it off Youk figure it out she'd say we'll focus on Aaron first he needs it more I was wasn't even sure what that meant but being the dutiful daughter I didn't argue I started

researching scholarships and working part-time jobs trying to save whatever I could my friend's parents were a lot more involved in their kids Futures but not mine then came the Saturday afternoon I was sitting in the kitchen doing my homework when my mom walked in with a stern look on her face she sat down across from me and said we decided to use your college fund to pay for Aaron's tuition I froze my stomach dropped and for a moment I thought I misheard her wait what you heard me she replied barely looking up from her phone

heun's got a better chance of getting into a top tier School his future is more important I blinked trying to process it but that's my fun you told me it was for me Emily you don't need a top tier school she said dismissing me with a wave Youk be fine you're smart you can make do with a state school or a community college we can't afford both Aaron's opportunities are bigger he needs this I remember the feeling of my hand shaking I didn't know what to say I felt betrayed but mostly I felt invisible so

what do you want me to do I asked trying to keep my voice steady I don't know my mom said nonchalantly figure it out you always do I went numb that night I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out what had just happened my parents had given my college fund my future away without even blinking and they expected me to just figure it out I didn't talk to them much about it after that I didn't yell didn't protest but something inside me snapped this was my life my future and they were treating it like

it was a footnote in Aaron's story it wasn't fair and I wasn't going to let it slide so I did figure it out I found scholarships lots of them I worked multiple jobs barely sleeping saving every penny I was determined to make it on my own without a single scent from my parents I got accept Ed to a good college on my own Merit and I proudly told my parents when I received my acceptance letter they were less than thrilled mom asked if I needed any help with tuition but I refused I didn't need their

charity the next few years were hard but I kept pushing I hustled through my studies worked my way up in part-time jobs and learned a budget like a pro I had to grow up fast then came graduation day I walked across the stage to get my degree my heart pounding with pride I had done it alone but of course that wasn't the end of the story a few months later things started to take a strange turn Aaron had graduated a few weeks before me but he was having a much harder time finding a job his

college had cost a fortune and while he'd had the best of everything the real world didn't seem to care about how prestigious his degree was he was struggling with his student loans and I could see the frustration building up in him one day he called me hey IM he said his voice tinged with frustration I I need help with some of my bills can you lend me a little money you're doing better than me right I stared at my phone in disbelief this was the same guy who'd gotten the full college fund the same guy

who never had to worry about working a single shift in high school and now he was asking me for help I knew I should have said no I knew I should have told him to figure it out like I had to but something in me snapped maybe it was all the years of watching him get everything handed to him while I had to fight for every little bit maybe it was the realization that he was still expecting me to bail him out I don't know if I can help you I said trying to keep my

voice neutral I've worked really hard to get here and I'm barely keeping up with my own expenses there was a pause on the other end of the line then Aaron sigh it's not like you need the money you've got your degree you're doing fine my heart started to pound again the nerve after everything after all the sacrifices I'd made he still thought that way he still thought I owed him something I couldn't take it anymore Aaron I said my voice cold you've had everything handed to you on a silver platter I've had to fight for

everything including my degree and now you're asking me for help he didn't respond immediately and when he did his voice was thick with irritation don't get all high and mighty on me Emily I'm just asking for some help that was when it hit me he wasn't just entitled to my money to my support he felt entitled to my success too but I wasn't done yet this wasn't just about Aaron it wasn't just about my brother and me it was was about everything that had happened over the last few years the way my parents had treated

me the way they never had my back when it mattered and so I made a decision I wasn't going to let this slide anymore if they wanted a piece of My Success they were going to have to earn it the next time I saw my parents I was ready it was a Saturday afternoon and my parents invited me over for lunch I knew what this was about Aaron had probably mentioned his struggles again and they were going to try to Guilt Trip me into helping him but this time time I wasn't going to just sit

there and take it I showed up to their house with my mind made up I had just gotten a decent promotion at my job and I was feeling more confident than I had in years I was done being the little sister who got overlooked done being the easy option whenever someone needed help I had worked for every step of My Success and it was time they understood that as I walked in my mom was in the kitchen fussing over the stove while my dad sat at the table flipping through a newspaper Aaron was already there

sitting with his usual smug expression sipping on a cup of coffee Emily honey good to see you my mom greeted me with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes I noticed she hadn't set a place for me at the table it was just Aaron I didn't say anything right away I just pulled out a chair and sat down making myself comfortable they were all a little too quiet and I could feel the tension building Aaron was the first to break the silence so IM about the money he trailed off not quite looking at me

I could feel my stomach tighten here it was the moment I'd been dreading and preparing for my mom chimed in quickly eager to push things along Aaron's having some Financial struggles Emily I know you're doing well now so we were hoping she paused giving me that look like I was supposed to just do the right thing without question maybe you could help him out a little you know loan him some money or I can't I cut in not waiting for her to finish I've got my own bills to pay and I don't have extra funds

lying around bail out someone who's been given everything Aaron looked surprised but my mom narrowed her eyes what do you mean you're not struggling Emily you have a good job and you're doing well you could afford to help your brother out I kept my voice steady though I could feel the anger bubbling just beneath the surface mom I worked my ass off for everything I have I didn't get a free ride like Aaron I didn't get my college fund handed to me you never helped me figure it out when I needed it but I did

it so no I'm not going to hand over money just because you think I owe it to him there was a long pause as my words sank in my mom's face flushed with indignation and Aaron's eyes widened in disbelief it was like they couldn't quite grasp the fact that I wasn't just going to roll over but he's your brother my mom snapped her voice Rising family helps family you've got a stable job now don't be so selfish my dad who had been quiet up until then sat down the newspaper and gave me a look I

couldn't quite read Emily your mom's right we're family Aaron needs help and you're doing well now don't you think it's time to give back that's when it hit me their logic wasn't about fairness it wasn't about helping Aaron because he needed it it was about guilt tripping me into doing what they wanted because I was the successful one now I'm not giving back to someone who doesn't respect what I've worked for I said trying to keep my voice calm if Aaron can't figure out his own finances after all these years of being handed everything that's

on him not me not you you've raised him to expect people to solve his problems for him and I'm done playing along Aaron looked like I'd slapped him so that's it you're just going to turn your back on your family because you think you're better than us now I could feel my chest tightening I'm not better than you Aaron I'm just different I don't expect anyone to do things for me I never did and you can't keep acting like I owe you anything Mom jumped in her voice trembling Emily you've changed you used to be

a good daughter we always expected you to help your brother and now you're just going to leave us all behind I could feel a lump forming in my throat this wasn't just about the money anymore this was about years of resentment building up years of feeling overlooked and dismissed it was about them expecting me to be the backup plan when they couldn't be bothered to give me the same opportunities they'd given Aaron I'm not leaving anyone behind I said my voice soft but firm but I'm not going to let you treat me like I'm your

fallback anymore I'm not your safety net I'm my own person and I've earned everything I've got just like I'll earn everything I get in this the future the room went silent my mom and dad exchanged looks and Aaron just sat there fuming I could feel the weight of their disappointment on me but I didn't care not anymore well my dad finally said breaking the silence if that's how you feel then I guess we'll have to figure out how to handle this on our own I didn't respond I just stood up from the table yeah you

will I didn't stick around for any more of the conversation I grabbed my coat and walked out leaving behind the family that had always expected me to been to their will the days that followed were tense my mom tried calling a few times but I didn't answer I wasn't ready to hear their excuses Aaron texted me a couple of times too saying I was being selfish and that I was ruining the family but I wasn't going to fall for it I had made my choice and I wasn't going to back down but here's where it

gets interesting a week later my mom called me again this time her tone was different it wasn't the angry demanding tone she'd have before it was almost apologetic Emily she said I think we need to talk I was hesitant at first but something told me this was a turning point I agreed to meet up with her at a coffee shop and that's where everything took a surprising turn when I sat down she didn't start with an apology instead she just looked at me with this tired expression like she'd been carrying something heavy for a long

time I was wrong Emily she said quietly you've always had to figure things out on your own and I didn't realize how how much I was contributing to that I'm sorry I was taken aback was she actually apologizing I didn't know how to react and Aaron she continued her voice cracking slightly is not your responsibility I shouldn't have put that on you I can see now that you've worked harder than anyone to get where you are and I'm proud of you for the first time I saw my mom not as someone trying to control me

but as someone who was finally admitting the mistakes she'd made but there was still more to the story and that's when I realized I wasn't done yet I hadn't fully settled the score there was one final piece of the puzzle that I was about to turn I listened to her for a while my mind swirling with everything she was saying it was clear that my mom was in a vulnerable place probably realizing just how much she had relied on me to pick up the slack when things with Aaron didn't go as planned but there was

something else beneath her apology something I couldn't quite place I didn't trust it yet I appreciate the apology mom I said carefully but I don't think one conversation is going to undo everything you can't just expect me to jump into this role again I'm not the backup plan anymore she nodded looking defeated I know I know I can't change everything that's happened but I can try to do better you deserve that I wasn't sure if I believed her this was the same woman who had pushed me to the sidelines for years in favor of Aaron

the same one who had told me to figure it out when it came to my college fund and then handed everything over to him could I really trust her now just as I was about to respond I saw a figure walking toward our table it was Aaron looking unusually tense my heart sank a little Emily we need to talk he said bluntly glancing at our coffee cups before sitting down across from me he was wearing that familiar defensive expression I had grown so used to like he was gearing up for a fight I don't want

to talk to you Aaron I replied sharply feeling my frustration building again you made your choice and I made mine I'm not your financial safety net I've told you that Aon shifted in his seat clearly irritated but trying to keep calm I get it you think I'm some spoiled kid who's never had to work for anything but that's not what this is about I need help Emily I don't have anyone else to turn to I could feel the anger rise again there it was the familiar tone the same old excuse you've always had someone to

turn to Aaron you just didn't want to do the work you wanted everything handed to you and I'm done enabling you you don't get it m Aaron said his voice Rising now I made mistakes okay I've messed up but I can't do this on my own anymore you've always been there for me in the past and now you're just leaving me hanging I stared at him for a long moment trying to keep my composure the urge to snap to finally tell him how much I resented him how much I resented everything about the way he'd

been treated differently his whole life was overwhelming but I forced myself to stay calm you want me to help you Aaron fine but not like this not just because you expect it you have have to show me you're ready to take responsibility for your own life I'm not bailing you out anymore I could see the frustration in his eyes but he didn't argue instead he sat back looking defeated I don't know what I'm supposed to do now I had to stop myself from saying something cruel this was the moment where things could either change or

stay the same and it wasn't up to me to decide for him he had to make the choice himself my mom who had been sitting quietly during our conversation spoke up then Emily's right Aaron I'm sorry but we've been enabling you for too long I'm not going to keep making excuses for you you've got to make your own way Aaron's face turned red and for a second I thought he might shout but then to my surprise he just sighed deeply fine I'll figure it out then I was taken aback by his words it wasn't the

angry defensive response I'd expected it was almost like he was admitting defeat but also acknowledging that he might need to change I wasn't sure if this was the beginning of some kind of breakthrough or just Another Empty promise there was a long silence after that my mom shifted uncomfortably in her seat and I couldn't shake the feeling that we were all sitting at a Crossroads things were changing but I wasn't ready to trust it yet all right I said finally standing up from the table I'm going to go I have things to do my mom

looked like she wanted to say more but I didn't stick around long enough to hear it I needed space I needed time to think as I walked out of the coffee shop I felt a strange mix of relief and tens ion it was like we had taken a small step toward healing but the road was still long I didn't know if Aaron was really ready to change and I didn't know if my parents could really understand the damage they had done but something had shifted today and that was all I could focus on for now

the real test I knew was yet to come over the next few days I tried to focus on my own life my work my plans and everything that had been pushed to the background for so long but there was this gwing feeling in the back of my mind that wouldn't let go it was the uncertainty about what would come next especially with Aaron and my parents I wanted to believe things could change but I had spent so many years expecting something that never came that I wasn't sure I could trust them again Aaron didn't reach

out immediately which was a bit surprising usually if he wanted something he would call or text trying to worm his way back into my good graces but this time nothing it made me feel like maybe just maybe he was finally understanding that the world didn't revolve around him but then about 4 days later I received a message from him the text was brief but to the point we need to talk can you meet me at the house I didn't even hesitate before replying sure I'll be there in an hour when I got to the house

it felt different not in a good way but in that oppressive heavy way that you know something bad is about to happen I walked in through the front door and found Aaron sitting on the couch looking like he hadn't slept in days he was wearing his old hoodie the one I used to borrow when I was younger hey I said not sure what to expect my tone was flat even though there was a whirlwind of emotions inside what's going on Aaron didn't look up right away he was holding his phone in his hands his fingers

tapping nervously on the screen I stood there for a moment waiting for him to speak but he remained silent look I don't have all day I said more impatient than I meant to be you asked me to come so let's get to it finally Aaron looked up at me and for the first time in what felt like for forever he didn't look angry or entitled he looked lost I need help M he said quietly more than I ever have before I crossed my arms bracing myself I know you need help Aaron but I've already told

you that I'm not here to fix things for you not anymore his eyes widened slightly and he leaned forward it's not like that okay it's not just about money it's it's about everything I don't know what I'm doing with my life I've messed up so many times and I'm scared I don't know how to fix it I could hear the sincerity in his voice but I didn't know if I could believe it he had said similar things before only to go back to his old ways once things got hard it felt like a repeat of

every conversation we'd ever had so what do you want from me Aaron I asked trying to keep my voice steady you want me to give you money again bail you out because that's not happening I'm not that person anymore he shook his head quickly almost desperately no it's not about money it's I just feel like I've been given nothing but Second Chances and I keep messing up I need advice I need direction I need someone who actually believes in me for once I could feel the frustration bubbling up again this was it the same cycle

I could hear the excuses wrapped up in his plea for help he wanted a quick fix something to make the pain go away without putting in the work and yet there was a small part of me buried deep down that wanted to believe him wanted to believe that he was finally ready to change I'm sorry Aaron I said my voice softer now but I've been trying to help you for years every time I step in it feels like I'm enabling you I can't do that anymore Aaron's face crumpled and he slammed his fist against the

couch this is what I mean Emily every time I try to get my life together everyone just tells me I'm doing it wrong no one's ever given me the chance to actually fix myself I could see the anger building in him but it wasn't the same self-righteous anger I was used to this was something deeper something raw still I couldn't let him off the hook just because he was upset you've had plenty of chances Aaron it's not about what anyone else is doing to you it's about what you're doing to yourself you can't keep blaming

everyone else for your mistakes he looked away his face clouded with shame I hated how much it hurt to see him like this but it wasn't enough for me to forget what he had done or what my parents had done this was his moment to prove that he could take responsibility and I wasn't about to swoop in and rescue him I'm not going going to fix things for you Aaron I repeated firmly my tone final you have to do that and I'm not going to watch it happen again if you're not serious about changing the

silence that followed was thick and I could feel the weight of it between us I had set my boundaries I had told him the truth now it was his turn to step up but just as I was about to leave Aaron spoke again his voice quieter this time almost as if he were speaking to himself you know I never thought I'd say this but I think I'm really starting to get what you meant maybe I've been too blind to see it before I didn't know if I believed him but I nodded good now go prove

it I walked out of the house without looking back trying to convince myself that I'd done the right thing but as I drove home I couldn't help but Wonder had I finally pushed him too far or was this the turning point for Aaron the days that followed were a strange mixture of relief and unease it felt like I had finally drawn A Line in the Sand but that line was still precarious like it could be washed away by the tide at any moment I kept telling myself I had done the right thing that I couldn't

keep bending over backward for people who had shown me time and time again that my efforts didn't matter unless it benefited them but as much as I tried to convince myself that I was at peace I still found myself checking my phone every few hours waiting for a text from Aaron or my mom a part of me kept hoping that maybe this time would be different maybe they'd finally understood then one night I got a text from my mom it was short and to the point we need to talk your brother is having a hard

time please come over I stared at the message for a long time feeling the familiar nod in my stomach tighten I knew what this meant another round of poor Aaron another attempt to guilt me into doing something I didn't want to do but part of me still felt that nagging pole the part that wanted to help to fix things to be the good daughter The Good Sister I stared at the text for a few more seconds before typing back I'm not coming not this time I hit send before I could second guess myself there was

a finality to it that I hadn't realized I needed until the message was gone it wasn't long before the phone rang it was my mom I debated answering but I wasn't in the mood for another round of manipulation I let it ring out a few minutes later I received a voicemail Emily please Aaron's really struggling heun's asking for you I know you're angry but your family please just come heun's not handling this well I took a deep breath my my heart aing for Aaron in spite of everything but I couldn't go back not when I

had already given so much not when they had already taken so much from me I didn't call back the next few days were quiet I went about my life focusing on my work my own plans and my own mental health there were moments when I thought about Aaron and my mom wondering if I had made the right choice by not giving in but then I remembered everything they had put me through I wasn't just some safety net they could fall back on when things got tough I wasn't going going to be their doormat anymore it

was late one evening when I finally saw Aaron's name pop up on my phone he was calling again but I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him yet the last few conversations had left me feeling exhausted and drained as if I had been giving and giving without ever getting anything in return I let it ring out the next morning another text from Aaron I know I messed up I know you're upset and I get it but I need you em please don't turn your back on me now my thumb hovered over the

reply button the weight of the decision pressing down on me it would have been easy to give in to slip back into that old habit of trying to fix everything for him but I knew better now I typed a simple response I'm sorry Aaron but I've done everything I can you need to figure this out on your own there was no reply for a while and I felt a strange sense of finality it was the hardest thing I'd ever done but I was beginning to realize it was also the best thing I could do for

myself a few days later I got a call from my mom I hesit ated but eventually I answered Emily please you have to understand she began her voice frantic he's still struggling and I don't know what to do I can't help him anymore you're the only one who can fix this I sighed rubbing my temples mom I've already told you I can't fix him I can't keep putting myself on the line for someone who doesn't even try to help themselves but he's your brother don't you care don't you love him her voice wavered with emotion

I do love him mom I replied trying to keep my tone steady but that doesn't mean I have to sacrifice myself every time he messes up I've tried to help but he needs to take responsibility for his own life I can't keep being his crutch there was silence on the other end for a long moment and I knew she was struggling to accept what I was saying finally she spoke again her voice barely above a whisper I just don't want to lose you to you haven't lost me Mom I said my voice softer now but

I need you to understand that I'm not going to let you use me as a fall back anymore I can't keep doing this for Aaron and I can't keep doing this for you there was another long pause and then she sighed deeply I guess I'll have to find another way I didn't respond right away I wasn't sure what else to say I had done what I could and I was finally starting to feel the weight of everything I had been carrying for so long begin to lift it wasn't that I didn't love my family it

was that I loved myself more I was tired of playing the role of the Savior the fixer the one who always stepped in when things went wrong I had spent too many years putting everyone else's needs before my own and I wasn't going to do that anymore in the end I didn't forgive them not in the way they wanted me to what I did instead was give myself the space I needed to heal and to move forward with my life on my own terms my family might never understand that but I was done trying to

make them and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was finally in control of my own story