Gender Neutral Family Are Raising Their Child as a 'Theyby' | Good Morning Britain

we have heard of people who identify as non-binary using the pronoun they or their instead of he or she but what about this having a baby instead of a baby it's a new term that some parents using to show that they're bringing up their offspring gender-neutral it's a very interesting situation just tell us a little bit about Sparrow are you able to even trade now Sparrow was you know what gender Sparrow was born or is that something you avoid talking about altogether well you know the whole point of gender is that we don't know sparrows

gender yet and as far as what their Anatomy is we do choose to keep that private you know - a short list of caregivers now this was not the situation was it with hazel who was your first child because hazel young States bring up in you know as a as a little girl well I did assign binary pronouns to Hazel initially yes and then when they were older they articulated a preference for using they then pronouns oh right so I get my head Randall it's obviously very complicated not to you but it's complicated to me

so let me try and just lay this out explain your domestic setup you're you're married is that right yes I'm in a multi adult family there's three of us that are raising two children an eight year old and my one year and you and how would you describe yourself you are you were born baggage claim at all how would you describe on binary I'm non-binary which means that you know I don't identify as a man or a woman and I use they/them pronouns okay and your your wife or partner is it a wife how would

you describe your other half well um all of the adults in my household identifies transgender or non-binary right and you're any married to one are you married to both legally married the one right in a relationship with another one you're legally married to what is their name brenn bright and he's been brain identifies as a woman you see her and she was born a woman and remains identifying as oh yeah yeah she's she's a woman - yeah okay and who's the third the third member of the my partner Luna who uses them pronouns as well

and Luna is male or female or non-binary non-binary and okay but you're not married to Luna no okay and you have two children in in the house yes okay just to clarify again Sparrow we don't know whether Sparrow is born male or female because you haven't said that the sparrow is now non-binary no Sparrow is I would say anta gender which is a term you know that means before gender like all children you know at this age are developmentally not able to really understand gender yet it's just something that they're not they don't have the

understanding for so it's not that the child is non-binary it's that the child just doesn't have any gender yet well be the chopped mean look let me try and get my head right obviously they do have Anatomy right so what an that Sumida Sparrow has well I mean that's something that we don't usually discuss unless it's necessary with maybe a medical professional or you know a caregiver right right so I'm just wonder if I can intervene here because I think there's a lot of people find this very confusing and it's because people think that if

you are born with biological and Natta me that indicates that you're either male or female then therefore you have that gender identity you're a man or woman but can you explain why you think that that isn't helpful that the anatomy that you are born with biologically shouldn't dictate your identity because I think that's the sort of bigger point that your situation is trying to get to isn't it that that when you're born with certain genitals society decides how you should act and as far as I'm trying to understand it that is what you're railing against

am i right yes that's a great question clarification what it is is that you know yes commonly people born with one type of anatomy will identify with one gender people with different Anatomy will identify with another but that totally negates the fact that there are legitimately thousands of people all over the world for whom that is not the case I would say are we just in you know from that point of view you're not necessarily dictated to by society I mean if you have a little girl and you know she's biologically a girl she can

decide and still be a she this is I mean I'm putting this - you can't call her see that sparrows not she no I know I so let's talk about a different little girl all right another person she or he no that's true so I'm talking about a little girl who whose parents do call her as she she doesn't necessarily need to for instance play with dolls you know do cooking lessons gender expression yeah gender expression is totally different from gender identity someone can identify as a boy and you know like any color any toy

sports dance pink blue whatever and same with identifying as a girl or non-binary people's interests or hobbies or preferences don't dictate what their gender is having a preference it wasn't hazel decide that she was no longer going to be a girl hazel decided that they were non-binary when they were about four they had been exploring a gender before that you know it trying on different pronouns experimenting with different names but they picked they/them pronouns and chose the name hazel when they see the greatest of respect I have a seven-year-old daughter right when she was four

years old her main decision of the day was whether to watch Peppa Pig or frozen she had not a clue what about gender identity or non-binary or any of this stuff and I put it to you that this wasn't this wasn't Hazel's idea was it this was your idea you decided that hazel had gender issues that she needed to address and you persuaded you daughter that she was no longer to be a girl didn't she I mean I personally don't agree with that assertion but I can see how that could be misconstrued you know I

think that every family environment is unique and say a child becomes a concert pianist very young age six they're playing Beethoven well maybe is it because their father is a pianist and they had a piano in the home and they explored music earlier hazel has a unique education because of living and an LGBT family they have met people of different gender expressions and have been safe to explore their own gender which has led them to a personal discovery is just utterly exhausting trying to keep up with all this I mean a lot of it you

know I've got no problem with you leading any life you like honestly I haven't you're a fully grown adult you want to call yourself they and non-binary whatever it is I have total respect for your rights frankly to do whatever you want to do my issue is what's happening with the kids in your household and whether actually it's all being driven by the adults in the home and not these children I mean little sparrow we don't even know if little sparrow is a girl or boy and you say we know how to call Sparrow they

and hazel what does hazel call Sparrow their baby sibling their baby says she literally says good morning baby sibling well it usually by name like good morning sparrow but when someone asks you know who is that you say my baby sibling yeah does she does hazel call sparrow day yes they so she says they can I have you know can I have a I played a game with you not when talking to them you know when talking to them they would say you like would you like to share a cookie with me Sparrow and sparrow

would of course because they're a baby but if I'm but if I'm if I'm in there but if I'm in the room and I want to have a cookie and I asked hazel can I have a cookie and she says yes I'll just ask they right sparrow yeah you would say hazel might say all ass them if they want to share because they and them a plural words and I've always struggled with this I don't understand why in this non-binary world you would take a plural word like them or they to describe a singular entity

doesn't make any I'm a grammatical purist now they would understand from why you would call people by plural titles well well they actually has a history of being used as a singular pronoun as well as a plural pronoun back you know hundreds of years ago 14th century 1700s you know people used they singularly as well but yeah in common usage they does have a plural connotation we are just working within the limited framework of the pronouns available to us in English there are people who use invented pronouns but those sometimes can be difficult for people

to navigate oh yeah I wonder whether when you know because it is it's complicated for an adult like me to to get my head round and I'm doing my absolute you know best to be sensitive and understanding about it because it's you know I think a lot of people find it find it difficult to understand when it comes to children because you know if you've got a you've got a child of four who's growing up it must be difficult for them to try and express that to other adults who don't understand your setup and don't

understand the situation and when other adults say if you've got a little brother or a little sister you know how does a a small child explain that you know perhaps to other children that they're at nursery with that's a great question hazel is very confident very verbose and very well-spoken and they enjoy advocating for the visibility of their family and they enjoy engaging their peers and adults in conversation obviously I've never forced them into a spotlight and I've never I've told them you know that they can always choose to disengage when they don't want to

over explain themselves but to them it's pretty simple to say we don't know sparrows gender yet they're gonna tell us when they're older right now we then pronouns what happens if decides how oldest parish is for now right days is Sparrow is one year old Sparrow so I'm sorry hazel is full and Sparrow is one was eight okay has been non-binary for hazel changed her gender at four but he's now eight and Sparrow is one yeah what happens if hazel decides tomorrow she would now like to be a girl or a boy I don't well

then I would support that hazel you know is totally allowed to continue to explore their gender and have it evolve you know if gender isn't always a static thing for some people what is using them is what they want right now okay and it's Sparrow when she gets to say three or even two when they can first start to talk if she if her first words are I want to be non-binary or I want to be a boy or I want to be a girl would you just respect anything that a two-year-old child would say

you you accepted a four year olds insistence on changing gender would you accept a two-year-old I would accept that that child was exploring you know I think that at that age sorry about I'm sorry to be the stick in the mud here a two-year-old kid hasn't got a scooby-doo about any of this stuff the idea that you as a parent would even countenance the idea that a two-year-old child has any ability to form any serious perception of gender I think frankly I put it to you respectfully is utterly ridiculous and actually damaging to that child

well then in that case if a two-year-old child as you say genuinely has no ability to conceptualize gender isn't it toxic and bizarre that at two we are telling someone you are a boy because of your Anatomy if that two-year-old genuinely can't conceptualize of what a boy is isn't it make more sense that if a two-year-old genuinely has no ability to process what a gender is as you said that I don't you know tell them what their gender is and I don't emphasize gender constantly I let them be what they are which is a toddler

hey you offer structure what could be more of a structure than actually saying to your child this is your name and that's your name and if when you get to be an adult you want to change your name then you become an your own adult your own responsibility you take your own decisions part of being a parent is until a child reaches adult age actually the parent takes these decisions I feel that what you're expressing is a bit of child ism which is assuming that someone has to be a legal adult to have the capacity

to know them explore identity I've heard just about every ISM imaginable I've never been accused of every ISM and I'm struggling with this new world of isms right what is child ism you're against children decisions I believe that what child ism is the normalization of the mistreatment of children just because they're young you know like assuming that they can't have opinions or ideas you know that they can't obviously they do need guidance and structure but mistreating them or treating them like property or denying their identity and autonomy so giving a child agenda because if it's

Anatomy assuming that their boy or girl or giving them a name all that would be child ism from your point of view not giving them but forcing them to use them regardless of what the child wanted so if a three-year-old child decides I'm no longer a boy or girl I'm no longer going to be called Bob I want to be called Doris whatever it may be the three-year-old child decides to do that and I object and say no your name is Bob and not Doris and you're a boy not a girl at three then I'm

guilty of child ism potentially yes you