Improve Your Communication Skills with This! | John Maxwell

Warren Buffett is right when he said that if you can develop the skill of communication you will help your self-worth and self value in any area of work that you're in more than any other skill in other words he said it's the number one skill to develop and for the next hour we're going to work on helping you develop that skill by sharing with you four of those laws one of those laws is the law of visual expression which just basically says show and tell is better than just tell because it's one thing for me

to teach you about communication but it's also wonderful that because my team has assembled together clips that will show you communicating from the things that I'm teaching you and it's so much better to not only hear it but also to see it so hey we're going to laugh together we're going to learn a lot together trust me it's going to be a wonderful hour that we spend just learning how to communicate and why is this so important to me if you can do one thing and do it well it's learning how to communicate and that's

what I'm all excited about teaching you how to do that now before I'm done and and by the way one of my laws is the law of anticipation I'm building it right now before I'm done I'm going to share with you four easy ways for you to learn how to be a better communicator and why am I doing that because I am here for you this hour is about you it's all about you learning these laws so that you can communicate better and be much more effective in whatever work that you're doing so I'm very

excited about it uh I think you're ready to get started I know I am too and the first law we're going to talk about is the law of connection and the reason that we're talking about the law of connection is because honestly that's the key to the entire book because the law of connection lets us us know that speaking communicating is all about others now you're seeing me uh standing here in this empty Auditorium and uh I know when you think of communication you think I'm going to be on stage because that's where communicators stand

or sit but but I don't really start my communication on stage I really started here in the auditorium because what I need to do as an effective Communicator is I need to think not as a speaker but as a listener not as someone who's on stage but someone who is sitting in these empty pews and may I say this if you know how to connect with people then the pews the seats that you have will be filled with people that are going to learn and grow but if I can't connect honestly I might as well

have empty seats in the auditorium because nobody is going to be listening and nobody is going to be learning so I start here I sit in these seats because I'm wanting to feel what the audience is going to feel when they walk in I began to put my mind not on the stage but out where the seats are I was speaking in Canton Ohio a few years ago this is very interesting and I was in The Green Room room and there were two other speakers and and they had been the conference had been going on

for a few hours and one of the speakers came up to me and said John you're going to speak in five minutes what are you thinking about and I looked at him and I said well I'm thinking about the audience and he was very surprised he said I thought you'd be thinking about your talk I said no I I I know what I'm going to say it's it's not an issue of content it's an issue of connection how do I connect with the audience so I literally I sit here in an empty in an empty

Auditorium before I ever speak and I put myself in the heart and the mindset of the audience because I know if I'm thinking about them I'll connect with them when I graduated from college my dad gave me some great advice he said John if you want to be successful in life you need to believe in people you need to Value people and you need to unconditionally love them and that's what I've done all my life when I speak I look at the auditorium I look at I look at the people I look into their eyes

and I'm saying to them visually I value you I believe in you I unconditionally love you and as they are in their seats they receive that message they begin to feel it they begin to sense it which is the first start of connecting and really helping people just unconditional so people say John what's the key to connecting okay I told you my name is John I'm your friend I'm going to give you the key right now it's so simple you're going to get it immediately but it's so hard it may take you like it did

me eight years to practice it and get it good you see the key to connecting is you have to get over yourself because this is not about me this is about you this is about the audience and when I get over myself then I can give myself to you as long as I'm thinking about me and my speech and am I doing a good job and do the people like me and and are are they understanding what I'm saying as long as it's about me I won't connect with you it's impossible for me to think

about me and connect with you at the same time so it is all about you so I I sit in an empty Auditorium but I know that soon this Auditorium will be filled with people they're going to come in and they're going to sit down in these seats and I will then go to the stage because that's what communicators do they they do get to the stage but they don't start at the stage they start right here in the auditorium in these seats putting themselves where the people are in fact they're coming in now just

come on in I'm so glad to see all of you make yourself at home and grab a seat and and by the way this is very important if you can get over yourself I can now give myself to the people that are sitting here but but if you don't connect with people honestly it's like winking in a girl in the dark nothing happens you don't want to do that when you speak you want something to happen so now as they come in and and and are going to listen to me hi good to see you

I'm Glad You Came morning you see there there's a question there's a question I have to ask myself and the question is do I want you to be fans of mine or do you want to be friends of mine you see that's the question I have to ask because if I want fans I will speak and separate myself from the audience because I want them to be impressed with me I want them to say oh my gosh Maxwell is amazing he's so good oh yes I'm so glad I'm hearing him but it's not about me

it's about you so how do I turn fans into friends it's very simple I close the gap and so I'm not wanting you to be amazed at how John Maxwell communicates I want you to be amazed by the fact that what I say you can apply to your life that when you walk out you're not going to say boy John is amazing what you're going to say is I think I could be amazing you're going to begin to focus on you and by focusing on you you're going to improve your life and by the way

that's what a communicator wants for the audience so when I speak I start connecting with my audience immediately uh let me show you what I'm talking about my name is John my name's John I'm your friend my name's John and I'm your friend my name is John I'm your friend what's your name nice to meet you on the count of three give me your name 1 2 3 nice to meet you can you guys backstage do me a favor if you've got a stool I'd love to have bring out a bar St I'd like to

sit down and talk with people can you hang with me for uh four sessions look at your neighbor and say don't miss this look at your neighbor and say you're about to understand life just look at your neighbor and say transformation is possible your neighbor and and tell them you're I'm learning something so look at the person beside you and say to them you can become a better Communicator if if if I could just literally come off the stage and and and and I could get real close to you and we' have kind of like

a one-on-one conversation oh thank you I love this I she just put her tablet in front of the timer let me explain something to you she knows how to read the roof how many of you would like to improve your communicating skills let's see that hand okay so look everybody has got their hands raised I'm want to talk you in a moment about connecting and when I saw the guys with the red tennis shoes I said I have got to have some my name is John and I'm your friend if you want to become a

great communicator you need to focus on the people in the audience in other words it's not about you it's it's it's not about me as the speaker it's about the audience and I have to get over myself you're going to have to get over yourself if you get the book you're going to learn a lot more about the law of connection because it is so essential for your success as a communicator now the second law that I'm going to share with you is the law of visual expression in other words Show and Tell is better

than tell okay I have really taken time in my communication process to learn this law and and let me tell you why I started off um standing behind a large Podium and and to be honest with you it was so big that if all they could see was from the neck up honestly if I didn't have any clothes they would never even known it because I'm just I could just been yeah butt naked you understand because all they could see was the head and and I began to learn that that's not a good way to

effectively communicate with people so I I I Advanced slowly I went to a smaller Podium and then one day you know I just started I stood up and I started walking around and and and and connecting and talking with the audience you see body movements uh gestures that I do uh my facial expressions all of those things are extremely important in connecting with people now the reason I've said often already in our teaching that you have to get over yourself so that you can give yourself to the audience is that when it's not about me

as speaker I'm going to have freedom to be very expressive now the moment that I think it's about me that I'm going to be saying well I wonder if they'll like this expression I I wonder if if this will if this will please them but you become very a free when you can get over yourself and I have a video that I want you to see that has been seen by millions of people of me speaking when the music stand just went bad and uh I wasn't prepared for it the people w prepared for it

but we had a blast you you watch this I hate baloney sandwiches and the guy beside [Applause] says heal heal I hate cheap music STS [Applause] especially when they interrupt my story I'm right in the middle of a great story look at this [Applause] Todd could could you talk to your dad about this I me we just look at this look at would you take take that oh give me my give me the rubber band thank [Applause] you oh am I getting the story now oh [Music] [Applause] you got to get something you can depend

on there's your back up thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the message is on [Applause] attitude and I'm doing my best I'm just doing my best okay well I I hope the music stand really never happens to you but if it does if you've gotten over yourself you can enjoy yourself and here's what I know if it's about me when something goes wrong the audience becomes a little bit embarrassed for me but if I'm enjoying myself and it's not about me then everyone else can enjoy the experience even if it's going south but another way for

visual expression uh is through word pictures I can remember being with my friend Chris Stevens and we were celebrating an anniversary of his leadership and uh there's a huge crowd thousands of people that night but during the day we play golf Chris is a good golfer I'm a good golfer uh Chris on the third hole hit a ball about this far from the hole and and in fact I said lay down beside the ball and have your putter there I took a picture lay picture of him laying there by the green with the hole there

real close and it just kind of showed that Chris made a very good shot when I went to speak that night I brought two pictures and I gave it to the crew I said I want you when I speak to show these pictures when I asked for them the first picture is Chris with the the the ball about that close to the hole and I looked at the audience and I said Chris Stevens Your Leader is a fabulous golfer look at that picture that's how good a golfer he is he's amazing now the second picture

was from the 18th ho where I had shot and I hit the ball that close to the hole now I've just got done saying that Chris is an amazing golfer you with me this is the law visual expression this is how it works you know Show and Tell is just better than tell so after I bragged on Chris with his PT about that close I said oh and and this was this was my shot and they showed it with it real I never said a word I never the crowd just erupted in laughter you see

again the power power of visual communication is just absolutely huge I can remember one other quick story uh several years ago when Robert Schuler was still pastor at the Crystal Cathedral you have to go back really about 20 25 years ago when the when the large video screens started to appear in in auditoriums and and and I had never spoken with a large video screen I I was I was used to this kind of eye to eye connection where people would watch me and so when I got up to speak this really caught me by

surprise because the video screen wasn't like behind me it was about 35 40 yards to my left and so when I got to speak the people weren't looking at me they were looking over at the screen and it unnerved me I thought oh my gosh what are they doing they're they're look and and my first impulse was get up run over to where the screen is and stand beneath the screen and and and now you're kind of looking at me but of course I couldn't I couldn't get over there and so now I'm sitting here

they're looking over there and guess what happened I made a funny it's just a funny expression and the place erupted in laughter and immediately I realized they're seeing me they're visually seeing in fact they're visually seeing me better than they've ever seen me before because now my face is not the side my face is like four before you know what I'm saying it's and and again it's just the power of what visual expression will do in speaking uh how about if I just take a moment and I show you some examples of some of my

visual Expressions that you'll you'll laugh a little bit when you see these they understand they understand that Effectiveness in leadership and Effectiveness in communication is based on similarity not differences when you have a tough call gang here's the way this works everything worthwhile is uphill and if everything worthwhile is uphill we have to be intentional to go uphill when you make the tough call Tough calls equal a breakthrough if I'm a fors a leader the people I attract to me will basically be threes twos and ones we have a choice as leaders and that is

that we can either let people into our life or we can basically stiff arm people and keep them at a distance you don't just get out out one day and say oh I got a real tough call I don't know you know should I relocate the organization or not relocate the organiz well let me see let me get a coin heads we relocate Tails we stay you know look at this I I have no idea oh yes yes yes here we go I put it on backwards [Applause] now now let me just say something to

you don't overthink this okay I I'm not suggesting you need to perform a country song with a cowboy hat for for the next talk that you do I no no don't don't don't even don't even go there I look like a I look like a dwarf myself with that cowboy hat I know but I am talking to you about connecting with people and using visual aids to do it s cic who's a great friend of mine has a video that literally has been watched by over 57 million viewers and what did he use for his

visual an oldfashioned hey flip chart okay I mean you're just it it doesn't matter what I'm saying to you is anytime you have something else beside yourself to use for visual expression it just allows you to get the message over and connect with the people so uh I would encourage you to try adding a little visual expression to your your next talk and I'll bet you'll be amazed at how your audience responds Show and Tell is better than just tell and I want to encourage you if you'll get the 16 laws of communication book you're

just going to learn so much more about the law of visual expression all I'm doing is giving you just a little Tipping Point of each one of these laws enough to encourage you to be a better communicator but also not enough to encourage you to get the book you really want the 16 laws of communication one of my biggest speaking failures was when I was asked to uh fill in for another speaker and and really all I have to do is give you his name and you're going to I'll tell you the story I was

asked um several years ago at a huge convention in Boston I about 10 12,000 people uh on the day that the convention was happening I wasn't one of the scheduled speakers at all in the morning late morning I received received a call from the man who was leading the uh that convention and he said John our our featured last speaker is not able to speak today he's not well physically and would you catch a plane and run up here and would you fill in for him and I said sure I I'll be glad to do

that if if I can you know get the flight and we can make this happen and then I said well who is it he said Christopher Reeves Superman [Laughter] fat man is going to fill in for Superman so I know I'm already in trouble I'm okay this is this is not going to be very easy at all but so I get up there and and so now I'm and I literally get up there about 15 minutes before I was supposed to speak and so I'm over the side they're sticking me with the mics they're doing

everything getting everything ready and then I hear that they're about to go out at anoun to the crowd that Christopher Reeves won't be here I had assumed that they had done that earlier I had assumed that they had prepared the people that Superman wouldn't be there but fat man is coming they literally went out announced that Christopher re was not well he would not be there that day and before I go out hundreds of people start to stand up they're walking out I I mean they came to see Superman so as I am walking on

the stage a couple hundred people are walking out now there are 10 12,000 people there so I still got a great crowd but there were two two or three hundred people said whoops I I'm out of here and so then I walk out and I had the challenge of filling in for Superman and the first thing I did I looked at the audience said I don't blame blame you I'd kind of like to walk off myself and immediately they did what you did they laughed and they gave me a chance and I filled in as

best I could for Superman now the reason I'm saying and giving you that story is because um I hear speakers all the time they'll talk about well that was a good crowd or or that was a tough crowd or I always hear him talk about it was a good crowd tough crowd I it's not about a good crowd tough crowd it's all about you as a communicator in other words in the law of anticipation you want to set the table in such a way that your people anticipate what you're about to say to them and

this is absolutely huge and and so when I walked out with Christopher Reeves not being there I let him know I was I was as disappointed as they were and I kind of wanted to walk off the stage and immediately they began to connect with me and then I began to build anticipation I said although I can't teach you how to fly I will teach you how to soar to success Come on talk to me and and then we started soaring to success but you see I had to connect with them I could have walked

out there act like nothing was happening when everybody in the auditorium says a lot of stuff's happening people are leaving I watch communicators many times not watch the crowd and therefore they missed their leadership speaking communication uh cues that would help help them to be effective so let's talk about how do I as a leader create anticipation what I do is I I think of this as kind of like setting the table and I'm I'm getting ready to set the table and and we're about to have a great meal and and I kind of want

to let you know what's happening it's kind of like when you're in a restaurant and you say what's special I mean I know you got stuff on the menu and then I'll say well there are three things here and and you really kind of tune in because this is kind of what they're really doing today and this is maybe something that you really want that wasn't on the menu there's a way as a communicator to begin to help your audience lean forward and anticipate when you're getting ready to speak and so I I use phrases

like this and and this is these are what I call anticipation phrases again in my book on the laws of communication I fill the book with these laws with these practical ways that you can read the law and you can begin to say oh I know how to do that because I'm showing your way and so let me give you some of my anticipation phrases okay and I'll tell you what you you kind of Judge them okay when I give this to you if it was great you raise your hand real high it was kind

of okay you raise your hand high and if I didn't build any anticipation just cross your arms shake your head and do and walk out that I've been walked out before it's it's happened before for example I'll say something like this I woke up early this morning and I I was so filled with the anticipation of what I'm about to teach you now what's that do for you come on give me all right okay all right there are two right here went halfway up you get one more chance if you don't lie and raise your

hand High we will be kicking you out of the audience just trust me we're it's going to happen or or something I'll say say watch this one how's this for an anticipation phrase okay I'm going to share something with you that I have never shared with anyone else before oh that was good and look even the doubters got their hands up now honestly you could do better than that because when it's really good you can put both hands in the air you understand I mean we I mean you get involved with me okay hey come

on help me oh like now now the doubters are raising their arms before they ever hear how how about this I have created this teaching this lesson I've created it just for you you how's that huh is that is that good or or how okay you're doing so good it took them a little while but they're getting better they're just getting better uh or this one how about this look at the person that you're sitting beside right now and say to them today you're going to learn something huh huh isn't that good and guess what

now you're even expressing what I'm wanting to express and you're already make you're making it contagious or I'll say something about this um I I'm going I'm going to share something with you right now that has lifechanging possibilities for you does it that just kind of fill you up with anticipation or uh how many of you are as excited as I am to get going are you ready to go huh okay here now okay I I've just given you some not all of the anticipation phrases that I teach you in this incredible law I've been

setting the table throughout our time together today I'm sure you've noticed but if not just watch this so hey we're going to laugh together we're going to learn a lot together trust me it's going to be a wonderful hour that we spend just learning how to communicate and now before I'm done and and by the way one of my laws is the law of anticipation I'm building it right now before I'm done I'm going to share with you four easy ways for you to learn how to be a better communicator and the reason that we're

talking about the law of connection is because honestly that's the key to the entire book go this is very interesting I'm going to give you the key right now it's so simple you're going to get it immediately but it's so hard it may take you like it did me eight years to practice it and get it good if you get the book you're going to learn a lot more about the law of connection because it is so essential for your success as a communicator so uh I would encourage you to try adding a little visual

expression to your next talk and I'll bet you'll be amazed at how your audience responds Show and Tell is better than just tell and I want to encourage you if you'll get the 16 laws of communication book you're just going to learn so much more about the law of visual expression all I'm doing is giving you just a little Tipping Point of each one of these laws let me talk just a moment longer on anticipation because there's a a mindset of anticipation which basically says how we view things is how we do things this is

huge so what I view is what I do so that's the mindset but the message mindset as I'm getting ready to communicate I just flip that because in the message mindset I look and I I say I say to this that how I do things is how I view things and so so many times in communication the speaker talks about as I referred a little bit earlier in the clips about a good audience or a bad audience it's really not about a good audience and a bad audience it's not about them bringing the best out

of me it's about me bringing the best out of them and so I I don't rely on the audience to make my day I rely on my communication to make their day and there's a big difference between will they help me or will I be able to help them and this began to really change my life as as a communicator when I quit looking for good audiences and I said why don't you just be a good communicator a good communicator will take a bad audience and turn them into a good audience does that make sense

to you that's that's just absolutely important uh when I speak to an audience I always believe the best in the people remember my father's advice you know believe in people value people Unconditionally Love people and so believe in my audience and I believe in my message and you know they asked Frank uh Lloyd Wright one time who was the great architect and builder of homes they asked him uh what was his greatest Masterpiece as far as it it what he had built what he had what he had as an architect form and he his his

words were so good he said my masterpiece is always my next one and that's how I feel about my talks um in fact it kind of is a joke with people who know me well because I get ready to speak and I'll say this is the best teaching I've ever done this is going to this is so good and and they'll kind of behind the scenes marking there comes the best teaching he's ever done you know and let me tell something somebody said well is that arrogant I don't think it's arrogant but I do think

it's anticipating and let me just say this if you don't think the talk you're about to give is the best talk you've ever given why don't you give the audience a break and not give them one if if I can't believe in the message I'm teaching and love the message I'm sharing Shing why would the people ever believe or love or connect with it so let me just talk to you about your next uh Masterpiece your next talk that you're going to give I want to share with you uh four easy ways to maximize the

next time you get up and speak in front of an audience and and they these four things I'm going to share with you come out of another one of my laws in the 16 laws of communication that is the law of content um the law of content just simply says that when you have something worth saying people will start listening wow that is so true now when I wrote this law I I described speaking and preparing speeches and content like putting a puzzle together and I talked about the fact that when you start with the

puzzle you you put in the first piece you don't know what I mean unless you look at the box top it it it doesn't tell you anything and you have to put several pieces together before begins to make sense I can still remember uh when I lived in San Diego I would go to the San Diego Padre's baseball gam sometimes and during between one of the Innings on the on the big scoreboard back there they would put one piece of a puzzle of a of a baseball players face and and everybody knows that they're trying

to guess who the player is but nobody can guess with one piece or two pieces or three pieces but everybody I mean everybody's watching this and then about four or five pieces all of a sudden people start to put out names well in in speaking it's the same way there there there are what I call nine pieces to the puzzle of of your talk now I I I don't have time to give you all nine but I I will give you four of them today and by the way why should I give you all nine

you won't buy the book If I give you all of them huh so so I'm going to give you I'm going to give you four of the nine and the and the first one is for you to create a runway for your ideas when I'm getting ready to express a thought or or an idea a I I I want to give them a Runway so that so that we can really so that we can really take off and and and and we can connect so uh it may be a current event you know for example

during Co every time I would address an audience and I did most of this virtually I would talk about the conditions and the circumstances and and immediately it would relate to where they were because it was a very uncomfortable time for people so I'm I'm taking a current event and putting the talk in that current event and and everybody says well he's right with us he understands what we're going through he understands all all the things that we are uh we are we we we are feeling in our own life uh sometimes um I I'll

I'll put out a question I I'll ask a question of the audience now let me just say something about asking questions of the audience as a speaker never stand before your audience and ask them a question that they cannot answer I watch speakers do this all the time they'll get up and they'll say okay how many miles is the moon from the earth well are we astronauts I mean hello and everybody you know we don't know how many miles and then they'll say well and then they'll give us the mileage now that's not good communication

that's showing off what that is is as a communicator I'm saying I know something you don't know and what I'm doing instead of having friends and bringing them together I'm creating fans I'm separating them and now all of a sudden I'm setting myself apart you never want to set yourself apart so never I never ask a question of the audience that they don't know the answer because it's all about us it's not about what I know and what you don't know I I saw this um I took a a a group to uh last year

over to France and we went to Normandy and it was a a very moving three-day experience and we had dorce Kerns Goodwin with us who was a great leadership historian and she's a she is truly amazing and and so we were at a museum at Normandy and we had a guy that spent an hour with us telling us about uh the the advancement on the beaches and and just basically tell us the story here's what I want you to catch every three minutes he'd stop and he would ask our group a question of which none

of them could answer how many how many soldiers charged up Omaha Beach well I don't know how many soldiers charged up I'm H Beach and then he would he would say 7,322 and then he would ask another question every three minutes he'd ask a question and every question he asked the audience could not answer now I stood back because I knew he was in trouble now brilliant guide knew the numbers really could have given us an enjoyable experience but it's not enjoyable because every 3 minutes he's going to look at my group and he's going

to ask them a question and when when he would ask the question I stood back and I watched this don't miss this he would ask a question they couldn't answer and my group as soon as he started to look at a certain section they'd lower their heads of course they're lower their heads they don't want him to pick them out because they don't know the answer it it reminded me when I went to school Remember come on remember when you're in school teacher asked you a question you didn't know you yeah pass over me pass

over me you never want to do that you want to keep your people together that's what great communicators do so I'll sometimes talk about a current event I'll sometimes talk about maybe a question or or I'll make a heart connection with them and and I'll say something like maybe like this I'll be talking to them and I'll say you know sometimes I just get discouraged and and I I I I I want to kind of pull myself out of it have you ever had a time when you were discouraged well everybody in the room says

yeah I've had a time I've I mean the only person that doesn't say that is a person that's on drugs you know what I'm saying yeah we've all had we've all had those discouraging times what am I doing I'm talking about a problem I've had or a situation that's been difficult and I always start with me remember this in connecting with people you start with you and when I say I'm discouraged guess what I give you permission to say I've been discouraged too but if I say you know I've never been discouraged in my life

it's always been a 10 every day how do you feel well now you're all going to be Liars you know that's 10 too but but that is you've got to connect with your people and those are the three ways that I I do it now there are a lot of other ways to do this also and and let me just show you a few of them I don't have time to talk about them but you just watch The Archives here the footage and you can see other ways that you can do this how many of

you like to play golf how many golfers do I have here oh oh you got a lot of golfers how many of you would like to increase your influence with your boss could I see your hand how many you like to increase your influence with your kids how many of you you like to just have some influence with your kids how many you know people that talk but they don't connect huh come on raise your hand you got that huh Lau Who is the Chinese kind of philosopher said if we don't change the direction we

are headed we are likely to end up where we're going so Martin Luther King is doing the great famous speech in the mall steps of of course the Lincoln Memorial you see the I Have a Dream part wasn't in his teaching at all but he's looking at the mall and he's seeing the people and Melia Jackson was right behind him and and and it was kind of almost quietness and awkwardness in the M and M Jackson says tell them about your dream Martin tell him about your dream and that's when he went into I have

a dream this uh lecture has potential to help you to become a better leader to change your life and what I'm going to share with you now is life changing and you just don't want to miss this because I'm going to I'm going to give you some stuff right now this is pure gold okay this is so good I hardly want to give it to you but you better start with yourself because if you're leading others and have nothing to give them then I can promise you you'll never be what you want to be as

a leader after you create a Runway the second thing I want you to do is I want you to plan your transitions out uh when I talked a little bit moment ago about the tour guide you know there's one cardinal rule for a tour guy I mean if you're if you're you know I mean they always they have a way to identify themselves you know and they've got a sign follow me and and the one cardinal rule if you're a tour guide is don't lose your crowd you know you're not a turn you know you

know you're not a good tour guide when you turn around and nobody's there you know what I mean and it it's kind of like my favorite leadership expression he that thinketh he leadth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk and that's the way it is with tour gu sometimes and that's the way it is sometimes with communicators so how do I keep the with me now in the book I talk about several ways to keep your audience with you but I want to talk about one right now and that's what I

call the value of the pause and if you've heard me communicate you know I many times when I talk I I have moments where I just stop and sometimes for three or four seconds and and I sometimes I'll I'll pause and I'll walk away and go back to my chair and and and why there are reasons why I do that you know Mark Twain said no word was ever as a effective as a rightly timed pause and I know that to be true and so let me just this is not all of them but this

is some of them let me tell you what a pause can do that will help you to emphasize what you're saying in other words what what does silence do sometimes when you're silent it just underlines something that you have said that's very important and and if we rush through it they miss the importance of that moment a a pause can also uh it gives your audience a chance to catch up some speakers speak so fast that you you you want to say excuse me you you can take a break now um sit down for two

minutes we just like to try to assimilate all the things you said because you just you just said it you know you said it so quickly I I remember years ago Margaret and I were in Germany and I went on the aabon and I I I it was so fun because you can go as fast as you want to and I like to go fast and and and I had a Mercedes and and and it was in kilometers not miles and and I knew Margaret could not transfer kilometers and miles and so I just said

honey when you see this it's it's like three times faster than we're really going and so we're going yeah man I'm just on there going as fast as I can I'm going 120 they're still passing me we're having a blast and finally Marg said you know John would you just slow down she said we're going through Austria now and I'd like to see the country I just like this sometimes I look at a speaker I say would you just slow down could could you not pause could you not could you not give people a break

to just kind of think about what you've just said because communication it's not a race it's meant to be a very enjoyable Journey another reason that I pause is that um it brings the audience back to you you know you you can lose an audience and when you lose an audience the quickest way to bring them back to you is not to say remember when you went to school and the teacher would stop talking and because you're all we're all fidgety moving around we'd all finally look at the teacher when we or looking at the

teacher she'd Begin Again the that's the value of the pause a pause can a pause can do this really good it can point to what you're about to say in other words there are times when I pause and I'm getting ready to to to make another statement and I want to give people time to think about what that statement's going to be if I'm a good communicator a lot of times they can anticipate what I'm about to say when you anticipate what I'm about to say because I paus it takes that what I'm saying and

it just doubles the impression on you because you're saying he thinks like me that's huge and and the pause also it allows the it allows the audience it allows you as a listener to to hear the whisper and I think this is a big Miss in communication there are sometimes when when you speak but there's a voice that's higher that wants to speak to you and and and and you just need to hear the whisper but if I don't pause you you don't get to hear that Henry nowan said silence is an act of war

against the competing voices that are within us that's an incredible statement and so I say let's silence speak for you let silence speak above you let silence speak Beyond you let let let let let silence speak this is just absolutely huge now let me just say this when I teach this in communication this is the hardest thing I can get try to get communicators to do is pause and I know why when I pause for a moment I give up control in fact when I pause guess what I let you have control and many speakers

are afraid to let you have control because they they want to get it back because they want to make sure they take you where they want and I understand that so you're going to have to work on this but I can promise you you need to give up control let people have it for a moment and when they give it back to you you will have connected with them and that's a beautiful thing now number three I use phrases that have what I call an echo and this is kind of what I call word smithing

so what do you hear me say I'll say things like you have to give up to what go up you have to give up to go up that's that's a stick phrase that that's sticky well you know I I could just say give up and You' okay I'm surrendered I'm surrendered but if you have to give up to go up and if you don't give up you don't go up so if you want to go up you have to give up so the next time you want to go up realize you have to give up

before you can go up and if you don't give up you don't go up do you see how it echoes it just act hey what else do I say pay now play later pay now play later that's what my dad taught us when we were kids growing up you can either pay now and play later or you can play now and pay later but you're going to pay and he said' if you'll pay now you don't have compounding interest he said if if you play first the longer you wait to pay the higher the price

is going to be pay now play later if you don't you can play now and you pay later but you're always going to pay so don't think you just get a play okay there Echoes Echoes Echoes people don't care how much you know oh that was so oh let's do it again okay and I'm going to let you I'm going to let you repeat it out loud for the for for the people okay so people don't care how much you know until they don't let you care yes I've taken you all on the road with

me I really am now that has an echo to it so as a communicator one of the things you do is you you look at your words and you just ask yourself are these words that I say going to be repeated that's the Echo and if if if if you here's when you say words you want them to be remembered and repeated but the greatest way for them to be remembered is for them to be repeated because once they're repeated it sticks more in the mind now okay so far I've shown you three tips that

will help you make your next talk better so so I'm I'm about to land the plane okay we're about to land the plane and I want to share one final tip to you on on basically how do you land the plane how how do I come in and make sure that what I have said has had a huge impression so I'm going to give you an added bonus I I okay this is something I'm just going to give it to you because I have to because it's so important it's in the book and it's just

one of those nuggets every time I every time I wrote one of the laws because all my life I've communicated and it's a gifted area of my life when I would write the law I would spend time going inside and ask myself why do I do this and how does this work because I wanted to make it clear to you the reader each law how how to to do this and and one of when I was writing I was thinking about the fact that I always deliver two messages now this is huge okay you've never

read this anywhere I promise you in every law I put stuff that I've never spoken about and I don't think that I've ever been spoken about in how to connect with people and communicate with them and here's what I discovered that when I give a message when I'm teaching like this I give two messages at the same time I give my best message and I give what I call the big message the best message is what I'm teaching right now I'm teaching four laws of communication I and I'm doing my best I call it my

best message because I've given it to you now and that changes from time to time today I'm doing the four laws today I'll do another talk okay you with me the best message changes but the big message never changes the big message is always the same message and it's who I am as a person and Communicator it's my DNA of communication do not miss this I'm going to give it to you right now because we're Landing the plane I I'm bringing it home for you right now so when I'm talking to any audience at any

time there are four questions I ask myself that determine my big message and these are the four questions you need to ask yourself also question number one is what do I want them to uh what do I want them to see the second question is what do I want them to know the third question is what do I want them to feel and the fourth question is what do I want them to do now I'm going to give you the answers for me but these answers I give you are my DNA as a communicator they

won't have to be the same for you at all you with me but you have to ask yourself the question so what do I what do I want you to see I want you to see your possibilities I am a possibility Communicator whenever you hear Maxwell talk he's going to help you reach high sky the limit Poss possibilities are all over my talk every talk has possibilities in it so what do I want you to know I want you to know that I value you you'll always feel valued when I talk you'll always feel man

he cares for me he believes in me he unconditionally loves me he values me I I want you I want you to know that I want you to see your possibilities I want you to know that I value what do I want you to feel empowered I want you to feel when I teach that what I'm teaching you you can go do I I want you to walk out of the room and not say John's amazing I want you to walk out of the room and say I'm amazing I I want you to walk out

of the room and say John can do this I want you to walk out of the room say I can do this I want you to feel empowered and what do I want you to do I want you to apply apply and multiply I want you to apply what I taught you and then I want you to multiply it by giving it to others that's who I am that's what I do and that's how I began to land the plane so so when you leave you've heard the best message but you feel the big message

well today's topic as I mentioned we're going to build off of what we did last week this is the 16 undeniable laws of communication part two and we started this conversation last week remember the subtitle of John's book here is how do I apply them and make the most of your message so how do I apply these laws and then that will make the most of the message that you're communicating uh last week we talked about law number one the law of credibility your most effective message is the one that you live Perry what are

we going to expose them to today that you kind of dove into this book and we're able to read the manuscript before it got released and uh and talk about some of the details behind the content yes I I love this and the we as we mentioned last week everyone could grow as a communicator it's just something that you need to constantly be working uh on yourself and improving your message we want to reduce any in intention interpet ation Gap intention perception Gap about you intended it one way somebody else perceived it another how and

you made a great point that that's the leader job yeah that's my job is to shrink that Gap so that we are uh understanding each other um I will place the table of contents in the learner guide and so you can see all the chapters but uh just a reminder that uh it's broken into five sections around uh who said it what was said how it was said when it was said why it was said and there are a number of laws under each one of those and today I I wanted to specifically drill down

on what would be law number seven uh of the um 16 um undeniable laws and that was from the section on how it said and the law seven is the law of connecting and the law of connecting reads that communicators know that it's all about others and I'll just uh give a spoiler alert John says this is all the laws are independent they stand alone but this is the the law that would be the most important of the 16 you better get this one right uh last week we were talking about you know uh about

your credibility uh this week is really about connecting and if you're not connecting with others so um this has been one of my I think one of my personally biggest areas of growth over the last 10 plus years as I've gone into professional Communications from in front of audiences in front of small groups one-on ones with coaching is that uh at home uh really figuring out that uh putting now another spoiler alert is that this is all about putting connection over content I think that's the big learning for me in this is that can you

make the connection with the person um superior to the whatever content you have to communicate can you communicate in such a way that you protect the connection and so many communicators want to put the emphasis on the content yeah wait till I tell you what I have to tell you right like that's where they want to go and they put the emphasis on that and they believe that that content has more value to those that are receiving the communication then actually the connection and that's not true and I've seen this for so many years with

John just being able to kind of sit right there on the front row with him in so many different events and the first thing that he does is how can I connect to this audience or if we're in meetings how can I connect to our guests that are in the meeting and and he lives us out and that's why I could see him saying in the book like this is it like this is the most pivotal part in all of that and good communicators know that connection is more important than the content when you listen

to somebody who's talking to others you know immediately you can feel it and you can sense it what they value and it's either they value themselves and the story about themselves let me tell you how good I am uh the content or the audience and it reminds me of a of a story that John talks about where he had this young speaker communic Ator come up to him and say right before John was getting ready to go on stage like what are you thinking about right now like what what are you going to tell him

and John just kind of you know has been doing this for a long time sits back and goes you know I I have an idea but I'm not sure yet what they want to hear from me and I I'll I'll kind of go where they need me to go because I'm here to serve them good and I know that that young Communicator was probably freaking out cuz he's it would be completely opposite of what his out outline was so until you connect with the people there there's a barrier right between you and them and they're

not going to be able to to gain as much knowledge or wisdom or just the content they're not going to be able to hear it unless you be able to connect with them and so you need to make sure that you're you are focused on that and that the perception of the people is that you want to connect with them I've also heard John talk about how and you do this a lot when you're in front of thousands of people he's communicating to the one individual at the table to the right and then he moves

over here and he's connecting and communicating to the one individual over here and and it's just amazing to watch and how the he just draws the entire audience in through that connection well he says that without in the book I was interest said without connection others may be interested but they'll never be inspired and you've heard John say many many times that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care so again going back to that uh individual connection with people let them know that that that you care and

I'm doing this for you and making that connection welcome to minute with Maxwell we're still talking about the 16 laws of communication and law number two is the law of observation and the law of observation just simply says good communicators learn from great communicators when I wrote this chapter I was so excited because this is how I really learned to communicate when I was young and realized that speaking would be a way of life for me I very quickly said I need to watch other great leaders and great communicators communicate and every time I watch

them I'm going to ask one question how are they connecting with the audience I can tell you over a span of maybe 20 years I sat and I listened to hundreds of people that would speak and I would evaluate how they were connecting with people and as I look back now it was truly lifechanging I learned passion from Winston Churchill I learned connection and closeness from Walter konr I began to watch all of these leaders and observe them and began to ask myself can I do what they can do sometimes I couldn't sometimes their speaking

was so unique to their personality that I couldn't really adopt it to my way of of communicating but more often than not there was something that they did that allowed them to connect with the audience that I would come away with and say that I can do I'm probably known in communication for the power of the pause I can still remember watching eie Hill one of the great black communicators as he would pause during a sermon take a few steps look into the eyes of the congregation and deliver the essence of what they were hanging

on leaning in waiting for yes I learned a lot from people by observing them and I want you to do the same thing start watching speakers not only listening to what they say but watch how they connect when you do that the law of observation will begin to change your communication life trust me it'll make you better I'm working through again the 16 laws of communication law number three is the law of conviction what a great law this is the stronger you believe it the more people feel it this is a chapter and a teaching

about passion there's something incredible and something very contagious about being in the um environment or being in the auditorium and listening to a man or woman not only teach with Clarity but be filled with Incredible conviction that you can just tell that this is more than a lesson that they're pass passing on to you or me this is a conviction this is a life that they live and the law of conviction basically says that our greatest communication is in areas where our life has been changed where our life has been touched where we look back

and say I became a different person at that time here's what I know about the law of conviction when you hear what someone speak with with passion conviction heart it draws you to them emotionally you come close you admire them if you get real close it'll be contagious and when it's contagious it will become powerful that's why I often teach who mentors you is as important as what they say the person the man or the woman that lives the life becomes contagious to the people that they mentor and you walk away not only knowing something

you walk away feeling something and becoming that person that's the law of conviction my name's John thanks for coming with me today on minute with Maxwell we are each day looking at a different law in the 16 laws of communication and to today's law is the law of preparation this is a great law it basically says you cannot deliver what you have not developed when I was a young pastor and a young Communicator I realized that I was gifted in communication and I began to be tempted to do what I call Wing It Wing It

means that I didn't prepare very much I just put together something quickly and then let my woo kind of carry the day for me and I was at that time pastoring in a very rural country area where there were a lot of beautiful people wonderful Sal of the earth far farmers and they just love my preaching and the problem was if I would wing it and only prepare for an hour and two they seem to be very happy and I became very tempted to to wing it instead of work for it now I'm glad that

I resisted that Temptation and continued to prepare prepare and develop and work for it because that allowed me not only to be a much better Communicator it allowed me to be a much greater writer because I wrote everything out word for word now the law of preparation basically says this how you prepare shows how much you care if you prepare a lot it's because you care for your audience and care for people and want to make a difference if you prepare very little perhaps you've got a a a values problem with the people so next

time you're getting ready to deliver a lesson or a teaching give it a little extra extra preparation and here's why if you wing it you can perhaps be successful but if you work for it instead of Landing in that top 20% you can land in that top 2% and set yourself apart as a communicator that's what the preparation's all about thanks for being with us today on minute with Maxwell we're looking every day now on minute with Maxwell at the 16 laws of communication this is law number 10 the law of Simplicity which basically says

communicators take something complicated and make it simple I often tell people although I have an education I'm a communicator not an educator what do I mean by that Educators take something simple make it complicated they just do they if you can understand it they're not too happy about it and communicators take something complicated and make it simple and when I teach I try to do what I say when I use the phrase I try to put the cookies on the lower shelf so that everybody can reach them everybody can touch them and everybody can obviously

eat them so in the law of Simplicity I basically talk about keep your lesson keep your message simple I say things like get to the point before people start asking what's the point wow I talk about repetition say it again and again and again and again I talk about the fact that if you can't explain it simply you probably don't understand it I was being interviewed and um the person that was interviewing me I I he talking about one of my new books that had been released and I kind of had the feeling that that

he really didn't care for me too much uh but one of the things he said in the interview was he said John he said I've read your books and and they're very simple and I said well yeah they are and he said why are your books so simple I said well I I just want people to understand them and apply them to their life and as he kept pressing me on Simplicity I finally said well you know my books are simple as far as to understand but it takes effort and energy and action to apply

those laws and that's exactly what happens when I get up to speak I ask myself two questions what do I want the people to know what do I want the people to do those two questions what I want them to know is all about Simplicity and explaining and teaching things what do I want them to do I want them to know and understand the content in such a way that they can go out and they can apply it to their life less is more that's the law of Simplicity thanks for joining me today on minute

with Maxwell we're looking at the 16 laws of communication law number 13 is the law of the thermostat basically that law says communicators read the room and then they change the temperature once in a while I'll hear somebody that is a communicator and they'll say wow that was a tough audience I want to say to them the audience shouldn't control the communicator the communicator should control the audience we have the ability to look around the room and if needed turn the temperature up however let me just tell you a personal story quickly where I wasn't

able to turn the thermostat up at all I was in Nairobi Kenya and I was getting ready to do a large leadership conference and it was to be held at a hotel and all of a sudden they realized that the registrations exceeded the uh maximum people that they could put in the room and so at the literally last minute they decided to have me teach in the massive lobby of the hotel oh my one look at the lobby and I knew I was in trouble there were six big pillars in the lobby there were four

elevators going up and down people were coming in people were going out baggage was being transferred continually announcements were being made over the system people were mingling some of them were sitting reading some of them were watching television and I have to communicate to about 2500 people in this room I knew I was in trouble in fact I couldn't even see all the people the pillars were in the way they couldn't see me I'll have to say that it was kind of a low time in my communication life but let me tell you about one

person who read the room and turned up the thermostat he's my good friend Tom Mullins he was with me on this trip and he immediately saw I was in trouble the lobby was not at all conducive for any type of good communication it's my turn to speak I'm not wanting to speak I'm not in the mood but I get up to speak and Tom picks up his chair and moves it to about six feet right in front of me sits the chair down gets out his pen gets out his paper looks up at me and

says John just teach me tonight I can hardly wait to learn I can hardly wait to hear give it to me John give it to me I'm ready come on John give it to me I smiled at Tom oh my gosh that's what a good friend is right there he read the room he knew that we were in trouble and he turned the heat up on the thermostat by becoming a person that would say I'm going to get in front of John and if he can only see one person that person's going to nod that

person's going to encourage and that person's going to take notes that night Tom Mullins read the room and turned the thermostat up all great communicators do that but sometime it's also helpful to have someone in the audience help you out just a little bit the 16 laws of communication my book which each day we're looking at a different law law number 15 is the law of adding value the law of adding value says people may forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them feel when people add value to you or

they add value to me we feel it there's something special about being special there's something special about somebody thinking that we're valuable enough that they would take a little extra time to do a little extra through extra effort to do something that adds value to us I love this chapter and great communicators always are adding value in the chapter I say one thing I want to give to you in our minute with Maxwell today I teach focus on sewing not on reaping if you're going to add value to people you cannot be a person every

day that gets up in the morning and says what am I going to receive today 95% of the people who live every day look for something to receive for them elves they're in the reaping season of their life but there's a problem they've never sown we all know this if you don't sew seeds you don't reap a harvest so the first thing you do is not wait for something good to happen to you the first thing you do is you sew seeds you add value you take the effort to put something in the ground that

you know won't give you a return for maybe many months but it's okay because you know that if you sew continually it's only a matter of time till the Harvest is automatic now here's what I want you to know if you don't sew you don't reap so let's let's finish our time with the law of results it's law number 16 sure and that says the greatest success in communication is action getting something done as a Next Step you you make a statement here on page 285 you said if your motive for speaking is anything other

than adding value to people and moving them to take positive action that will help them you're missing the boat totally why do you say that why are you putting so much uh emphasis on that because it's true yeah because if your if if your motive is not to add value to people and have't take action you are missing the boat because think about it why are you spending all your time and where all the people coming and spending all their time to hear you if it's not to improve their life you know Mark there just

is no success without action I mean there just isn't so you know as a communicator what am I asking myself what do I want them to know what do I want them to do and if I just ask what do I want them to know there's no success perhaps in just knowledge alone it's always in the action action takes knowledge and makes it worthwhile and meaningful and so as a communicator yes I I I think the test if somebody saying what how do you what's your final exam as Communicator I think it's very simple what

I taught I connected with the people and they applied it to their life and when that happens I think I I hey success just as if they didn't apply it to their life I think we all wasted our time because we don't need another message in life we need to have positive change in life and you know action it's it's a word that we know and hear so much but you you have to act to succeed there there's no person that ever thought their way to success nobody ever hoped their way to success they had

to act they had to move so yes I I want them when I'm done I want them to do something I think great communicators lay it out on here's what you do I mean I I I think they even make that action part you know like step one step two well and you you said this what do you want them to know what do you want them to do you asked these three questions you talk about another part of the book on your question that you ask before you talk during the talk am I impacting

them and did I create an impact for them you're constantly assessing yes and you're not using enthusiasm so many of us we use you said this you said your enthusiasm and excitement may cause people to think about their dreams but it won't be sufficient to move people into action so just to cause them to think how do we as communicators whether it's in a small group or in a big big Auditorium how do we ensure that we move people to action it's certainly not the emotional it's a great great question and I think the mistake

we've made for so long is that we equate an emotional response to the fact that they're going to do it and yet how many times do we know people who in the moment are emotional and they feel it and and they say yes but it cools off by by the time they're the car and the the park a lot and they're pulling out it's a maybe and by the time they're home it's a sometime and and I I think that people don't take action based on emotion they B take action based on conviction I take

action when I am convinced that this action is going to help me it's going to make me a better person and that's not emotional at all that that's that's somebody who has connected with me in such a way that I related to them and they said they did and how I can do it seems to be palatable and compatible and so therefore I I I I really do it um I would rather have uh um my pauses and my silence and let people absorb and think I think a thinking person when they take action that

action is much more solid than an emotional person even if they take action because if you're emotional you take action the moment the emotion wears off you're back out of the game yeah and I I I I just want to I just want to help people I want to help people come to the conclusion in their life that this is best for them it not even come to conclusion that this is what I want for them but this is best for them and any way I can communicate that Mark to them that's going to have

the return that we're looking for buddy yeah you know there's so much more I have so many more questions we're going to we're going to wrap but I do want to say I'm going to give you a chance to just kind of wrap the impact and what you hope from this book I do want to ask you just one quick followup when you are assessing how well you did at connecting with the audience and you're you're one of the most intuitive communicators I've ever seen you you're sitting up there and you notice when somebody wipes

their nose you will notice when somebody checks a text text message you notice so you're intuitive at reading the crowd how do you know at the end that you've really added value well I think that because I can't go home with them I don't think I could ever know for sure that I added value until I got to see if they took action on it but I think the answer that I can give you because we don't get that privilege I don't get the privilege of getting the car and going home with them so when

you ask how do I know here's what I do I know when I communicate something to people when they buy into it yeah and they buy into it not just by a scent there's a there's a sense that what I'm saying is true and real and right and and I can tell when when when they have bought into it which tells me that the odds have increased that they're going to do something about it I'm responsible to people I'm not responsible for people so as a communicator I'm responsible to give them the way to succeed

that's my responsib if I if I fail to deliver that I've come short and I want to do it in such a way that although I'm not responsible for them I have nudged them in that direction but they're responsible for themselves and I I'm sure there have been times when I thought people bought into a lesson I gave them and they didn't go out and and and and finish off and I'm probably sure that there's been sometimes I thought boy I don't think it did very well there and they did so it's it's hard to

it's hard the communication has to live in the moment what I see and what I experience right now you know 3 weeks later the communicator could have a readout on whether that the people really bought into it or not because because if you don't take action you didn't buy into it yeah yeah that's why I say ask for commitment the only time you know when a person's the real deal is if you ask them for commitment and and that's separates the players and from The Pretenders at all time so I'm doing everything I can to

get them to that point of commitment but I'm responsible to make it as good as I can but then they're responsible to make the commitment how much do you care about the environment and what do you thinking about in order to make a connection with the person sitting on the other side was a great question well I there's a law in the book called The Law of the thermostat and the law of thermostat just says communicators read the room and change the temperature and um it begins with going when I can I don't get to

do this all the time but when I can if I'm ahead of where the crowd is if I'm you know I do go out of the audience and and I sit in the seat um I I I I started that as a pastor every Sunday I I would go and sit in the auditorium for a little bit and think about the needs of the people and why they would be coming today and and could I uh connect with them where they are and and so it's it's been a practice for a very very long time

it's it's physical for me because if I sit in the if I sit in the seat it really forces me to think about the other person but if I'm in a car and I'm getting ready to go do a speech I I've got to ask myself one simple question what am I doing the speech for I mean am I am I doing the speech because I need to do a speech am I doing a speech because it's Sunday morning or I mean you why am I in this game and I'm in the game for one

reason that is to add value to people to help him and so therefore that's the reason I'm in the game I better make sure that's where I am that I am that I am where they are and I think one how many times have I heard speakers say that was a bad crowd that's a tough crowd wow and I want to I want to say to them I don't know if there is a tough crowd I I I I I I think there are only crowds with great potential I think that uh when I think

it was a now there's Crowds Are more responsive than others of course so but but it's not when it's not not about me then it's not about me in fact this is kind of fun in Nashville there's a a h huge writing company there the guy that did the writing company uh got a hold of me and said I I built my company off of you uh 20 years ago and now it's I think it's the largest writing Company in Nashville anyway he gave me an ID he said John why don't you put uh write

songs to the that that are about your books and of course I S one a songwriter and and although I write poetry because to all of my children and grandchildren on their birthday I always send them a birthday poem that's about them and so so I do kind of like poetry so long story short I went to Nashville got in the studio and with with you know real real real song writers I have a statement that says when you're at the Head of the Class you're in the wrong class well I wasn't at the head

of the class in that room I hey I want just say this sometimes when you're at the bottom of the class you're in the wrong class too it's kind of what the heck am I doing here but they were so good to me and we we were in there for S hours and we wrote a a song it was so much fun it was so much fun and uh it just came out on Spotify or whatever wherever you get your music it's called and and but the title of it is uh I have get over

yourself I got to get over myself got to get over myself and and the whole thing and I did it out of this book out of this book and basically I said I gave them what I call my credibility Journey how how did I get to get over myself and well you got to find yourself to know yourself got to know yourself to be yourself once you can be yourself then you won't have to improve yourself and then once you start improving yourself hopefully you'll get to a mature stage where you can get over yourself

but why do I get over myself so I can give myself away it's good and in fact that's the course on this on this song and I don't know much it's been out for 10 days but they've said they've got 30,000 hits on it already so I think it's doing okay I don't know I I don't know what I don't even know what that means I don't even have Spotify shows you what I know but but the point but the point be um you really can't give yourself to others until it's really no longer about

myself and I think that I think that Focus needs to constantly be before you and I think it takes time to do that but I think the moment that you can can cross that line everybody in the audience really begins to know now that they truly care that you truly care for them and uh and I just think I just think that's absolutely essential you know people don't care how much you know till they know how much you care you know you know we're we're we're leaders of value who value people and add value to

them and and that that's the great communication message once you know I care for you Craig honestly you're really ready to listen and and and the subject can be varied it doesn't really matter once the once the communicator is the connector then all things begin to All Things begin to go well well I agree a th% if if a communicator they don't have to be polished they don't have to be powerful if I if I know they're here to try to add value to me that's going to that's going to win me every single time

and uh I think that's that's so important and I want to ask one more question about that and I'll kind of Trail what you said because I want to try to keep it really practical as your book is incredibly practical and for our listening audience uh when I go to a place I want to I call it feel the room meaning like I want to walk I want to know I want to know how the sound carries and so I'm going to choose a different microphone if one is stronger I want to know where I'm

going to stand on the stage I want to sit out if I can like you I want to be in the seat and try to feel what it's like to be sitting where they are and really put a lot of time into that and then I I want to talk and ask you about one more practical point before we get into some of the technique behind the communication but let's say someone's about to walk up and they have that Panic moment where your heart rate beats so loud that you almost feel like they can hear

it or see it your hands feel weird you're having a hard time getting your breath at that moment you're probably thinking more about you than them I'm guessing how do you talk yourself through that and what do you do to shake that off so you can get into the talk and be you focused well I think we all have those moments I mean even as a veteran Communicator there are times when um maybe A lot's on the line or or uh I I remember I was in a a wonderful church in Atlanta and I was

I was preaching three times and I walked out just getting ready to speak on the second service Greg and I looked out and it seemed to me like a lot of the audience was familiar like they were in their first service so I leaned over to the pastor and I asked him I said would some of these people you know would they have been in the first service too and oh he said yeah he said a whole bunch of they like you so they want to come for the second service and I'm I'm one minute

away and I said well then do do I need to preach a different message and he said that he said that probably be that would be good I I literally was walking walking up in my mind figuring out what I was going to speak on I mean I was I was 3 seconds 4 seconds completely what and I can remember the the panic and the thrill I I I just thought I'm not even sure I can pull this off but if I do pull this off it's going to be an incredible story to tell but

I think that that that I think we need to see humor in our situation the way I do it more than the other way is to just kind of look at myself and say you know what what you may feel a little bit panicked right now but there are very few people in the world that really care and that there are very few people in the world that really really know and there are very very few people in the world that are ever going to hear about it so it's just you you you have you're

you're living in a very very very small world so John just smile and and and and and get over it I think I think we have a tendency to take what we do too serious I think we have a tendency to even worse than what we do is who we are take it a little bit serious so so I kind of I I because humor is kind of where I am a lot of things anyway I I just kind of look at this the the kind of the humorous side say well this will be interesting

you know this this could be my last talk you know may maybe maybe this is the day they Stone me I don't know or throw tomatoes at me once you begin to make things comments like that to myself which they're not going to do any of those things it begins to reduce the situation down to a place where I think it causes a lot less what Panic or nervousness just just because if you can make fun of the situation you almost always do two things you reduce it and you bring it to its proper sense

of light and and uh being serious about things does exactly the opposite it makes it way too big way too important and and all of a sudden you just think it's bigger than life and and really it's not it's really not I I agree and and if you can talk yourself to that it helps a lot and then if you do even what I found is if you say something dumb or make a mistake if you laugh about it it doesn't cause them to like you less they love you more they love you even more

so it's not we're not shooting for Perfection we're shooting for connection and people tend to connect with real people not perfect people and so I appreciate what you're saying I I've jumped in on that just like if I could just jump on just I've told people before I said you know what I'm a little bit nervous about this I I and and just you know I shouldn't be but I am but I'm glad to see you and you're helping me already and man I'm tell you they just lean in they just lean in they're pulling

for you and and wanting I think it's very wise a lot of times to let the people know exactly how you feel or where you are I I think that's how they identify with you you know success is a terrible separator and keeps us from the people but the moment we become honest and and authetic I think it it it Narrows that Gap real very very quick it's a bridge for sure it does yeah yeah one of the quotes we say a lot on the podcast is people may be impressed with your strengths but they

connect with you through your weaknesses yeah I love so being uh being yourself matters in my book the 16 laws of communication I talk about law number 16 the law of results welcome to minute with Maxwell today my name is John and the law of results simp simply says the greatest success in communication is action that's why when I teach about the big message in this book on the laws of communication I say to myself when I ask myself what do I want the audience to do I want them to apply and multiply I want

them to apply what the message says for them and then because I love leadership I want them to multiply it through others because that what leaders do that's why I add value which is one of the laws of communication I add value to leaders who multiply value to others so let me just give you a quick story I was teaching one day on the value of personal growth and having a a plan for personal growth growth is not automatic getting older is automatic getting better that's not automatic at all at the end of my speech

my talk my communication a gentleman came up to me and and I had a couple minutes and he said would you mind explaining to me what your plan for growth is and because I had just a little time I explained to him how I intentionally personally grow every day I gave him my personal growth plan I'll never forget he looked at me much to my surprise he just said well I I don't like your plan okay I said I that's all right you don't have to like my plan I said tell me what's yours he

said what I don't have a plan oh my gosh I looked at him and said well okay I like my plan better let me tell you something I like anybody's plan better if they take action than anybody else's plan that has just intentions without action in it so remember the guy the next time you're kind of wanting to sit and think and reflect on what you've learned but you're hesitant to apply it and take action just remember in the word traction is the word action to get traction to move forward you have to take action

there is no success without it and that's what the law of results is all [Music] about welcome to the Maxwell leadership executive podcast where our goal is to help you increase your reputation as a leader increase your ability to influence others and increase your ability to fully engage your team to deliver remarkable results