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>> Loneliness is what girls struggle with a lot nowadays. It's not fun being lonely. >> 70% of girls experience loneliness is honestly not surprising to me because I see it every day at school. >> I would count myself as a part of that 70% loneliness. >> And all that. And young people, especially young girls today, I would say, is mostly social media and basically FOMO, the fear of missing out. They're seeing all these grand things and unachievable goals, and they're getting upset that they can't achieve the goals. I think a lot of girls don't know
how to talk about their feelings properly, or like how to express themselves or feel safe to talk to somebody about them. Girl Scouts is such a good place for getting over that loneliness, because you make so many friends with so many people who are all like your same age, that are going through all the same things that you do, that understand all of your problems and can help you out with them. And it's so easy to learn new skills because you don't have to be afraid of messing up or we're all messing up in this
group, so that just helps you get out of your comfort zone and grow as a person. I joined Girl Scout. My mindset has shifted to become more positive and more welcoming to all the other girls. I can be myself around people. Because this community has made me kind of like shaped me into the person I am. Because I can be silly around people. I can be funny, I can be myself, and it's also made me gain a ton of confidence through that, because I'm not putting those expectations on myself. And I know like I am
me. Girl Scouts has given me a community where I can be authentically myself and not worry about what others are thinking of me. >> Good morning. I'm Nicole Kraus, marketing director for South by Southwest, Edu, and with me we have Kayla myers, programming manager, Hannah Davis, festival programmer, and Madison Flores, our production coordinator. And we're the Girl Scouts of South by Southwest. Edu. And once a Girl Scout, always a Girl Scout. We may not be selling cookies anymore though. We wouldn't say no to a dosey doe or a Thin Mint right now. But we are
still all about building strong communities and lifting each other up. >> And that's exactly why we're here today. Girls as young as five are feeling isolated and experiencing poor mental health outcomes. At an age when your biggest hurdle should be learning to tie your shoes, they're struggling with something as big as loneliness. >> But if there's one thing we learn from our Girl Scout days, we're stronger together. No one should have to struggle with their mental health alone. It truly takes a village. Which brings us here today. As a quick reminder, during the Q&A, you
can open your South by Southwest Edu Go app, where you can ask and upvote questions by selecting the engage button on the session page. All right. >> It is now our pleasure to welcome to The stage an incredible lineup of panelists who are tackling this issue head on by supporting, championing and empowering girls. They're creating positive change in our communities. So please welcome Bonnie Bartkowski, chief executive officer of the Girl Scouts of the USA. Doctor Christine Crawford, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Isa martinez, parent and volunteer at the Girl Scouts of
Central Texas. And Dylan George, High School student and Gold Award Girl Scout for the Girl Scouts of the USA. Welcome. >> So hello, everyone. Thanks for joining us. Um, I'm Bonnie Bartkowski. I am the CEO for Girl Scouts of the USA, and I've been with Girl Scouts for 15 years, including time leading a Girl Scout Council in eastern Missouri. So last year and during many years, we've certainly seen, especially since the pandemic, that it's increasingly clear that girls need mental health resources and support. Last year, we conducted research that revealed that girls as young as
five years old are feeling lonely, and it takes a toll on their confidence. I'm here today, along with my esteemed panelists, to discuss this issue and the village it takes to support girls. I know, and I see firsthand what happens when we create a positive environment for girls. They grow up to be life ready. They find their interest. They build self-confidence, and they become agents of change as global citizens. So I'd love to kick off by having our panelists introduce themselves. So, Doctor Crawford, I'll begin with you. >> Hi everyone. My name is Doctor Christine
Crawford. I'm a child and adolescent psychiatrist based out of Boston, and I'm also the associate medical director for Nami, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. And we have an amazing partnership with the Girl Scouts. And we're so excited to be here. And I was also a Girl Scout myself. I was a brownie and a junior, so I am so thrilled to be here. >> Hi everyone! My name is Izzy Martinez, I live here in Austin. So excited to be here. I'm a proud board member of the Girl Scouts of Central Texas. Definitely prior Girl Scout
back in elementary. I come from Brownsville, Texas and I'm also a troop leader, X troop leader, a volunteer, and a parent of a Girl Scout who's been in the Central Texas Girl Scouts for eight years. Separately, I have a background in human resources and a background in industrial psychology. >> Hi everyone, I'm Dylan George. I am currently a senior at the Hockaday School in Dallas, and I will be attending Brown University this fall, and I am a proud Gold Award Girl Scout. I've been in Girl Scouts for over ten years now, and I'm just so
grateful to Girl Scouts as it's helped me build my confidence, friendships, and it's helped me realize what I want to do in my future, which is combine my interests of psychology and neuroscience and the arts, which I will continue studying in college. So thanks for having me. So as you can see, we have an esteemed panelist group and we will be taking questions towards the end. So please go to South by Southwest Edu go app to ask your questions. So the mental health conversation that really accelerated during the pandemic and in smaller group settings, we
heard Girl Scouts asking for help and resources before then. I'd love to hear from our panelists what they were seeing and what they were hearing before the pandemic. So, Doctor Crawford, I'll begin with you. Yeah. As a child psychiatrist, I could tell you that we had a youth mental health crisis long before the pandemic occurred. There were kids who were struggling with anxiety and depression, and did not have access to the mental health supports that they so desperately needed. And then the pandemic hit and kids were already vulnerable. But then to have the pandemic in
which they were taken away from those resources, but also they didn't have opportunities to connect with their peers so that they had the resources, the the skills, the opportunities to distract themselves with what was going on in the world. And so I had a lot of concerns about the state of mental health for our kids, because there's only 8300 child psychiatrists in the country. There's not enough mental health providers for our youth. And so we were already on the struggle bus beforehand. And unfortunately, we're still seeing some of the ramifications of that now. >> Thank
you. So, Bonnie, before Covid, my family and I were lucky enough to be part of a very diverse community in the public school system here in Austin. And what I saw was that the teachers are amazing. They do a lot. I can't thank them enough, and yet it's just too much. Having teachers be responsible for children who, at a moment's notice, could have an outburst and throw a chair across the classroom, making the other children scared, and also understanding that empathy is what we need to lead with is super important. But the parents and the
community was so critical. So that was when, way before Covid, I made a decision to invest in Girl Scouts, and it really is an investment because it was intentional to say, my child is going to be participating, I'm going to volunteer, I'm going to spend time. I'm going to learn how I can support this, because at school, while I was really lucky to have a community of Montessori learners and teachers, it wasn't the same thing as being able to just have time to be yourself, be with others, and be super intentional about it. Thank you.
So I was only 12 when the pandemic hit, and there wasn't much of a discussion around mental health then. And when the pandemic hit, it was even more important to talk about mental health. And it just it wasn't talked enough about with my friends or at school. And I luckily had Girl Scouts, which was a safe place for me. But many kids didn't have the support system where they could be themselves or talk about how they were feeling. So I'm looking back now, and I realize the importance, the importance of having such a safe community
that I had with Girl Scouts where I could be my authentic self, and I could talk about how I was feeling and process it and still develop all of those important skills during Covid, which many kids didn't have. So I'm just grateful for that, that I had that. Thank you all. So again, I want to start with Doctor Crawford. And how did the pandemic exacerbate what you were already seeing? Yeah. So as I mentioned before, kids were struggling. They were struggling to have access to mental health supports and then the whole world shut down. Not
only were they removed from the supports that were provided in the schools, because a lot of schools have mental health supports that are so critical for our kids to have access to, whether it's school psychologists, social workers, and they were disconnected from all of that. But I think the thing that was even more concerning, and the most challenging thing was that parents were struggling themselves. They were struggling themselves with how to navigate the intensity, the uncertainty that came along with the pandemic. And the kids saw that. They saw that their parents were struggling, too. And
so kids learn about how to navigate intense situations, how to navigate big emotions from the adults who are modeling in their lives. And if the adults were struggling and they were struggling because we also saw depression and anxiety go up with them. Kids were struggling as well. And in addition to that, kids were struggling in school. They were struggling academically. I mean, you all can reflect back on the pandemic when kids were on zoom doing all of their schoolwork and parents weren't able to keep up with everything that was going on. And then kids went
back to school in person and they were behind. And so falling behind academically can really have a huge impact on your self-confidence, your comparing yourself to your peers. You're noticing that you're not keeping up with the same material. So that had another impact on how kids were feeling. And again, we're still seeing the consequences of all of that today. Thank you for our family. Covid was really hard. We had kids in two different school systems. It was actually interesting, sort of like an experiment. You can see how one school maybe had more resources, more time
to organize and other schools. I was like, what do you mean you're going to do online and in person. Like, are you okay? Right. So I didn't think the teachers were able to get the full support then to have my kids, as you all know, on zoom all day. My husband and I are working and we're thinking, well, they're safe. And so I don't worry about it. Next thing you know, I'm realizing, no, it's async communication. So my daughter's been on YouTube videos probably about 4 or 5 hours, and I need to take this meeting.
And this other person's doing this meeting, and this person realizes I need to figure out how to be by myself without talking to anyone for eight hours a day for months and months on end. So yeah, that wasn't easy. And as the kids are going through puberty, like puberty alone is hard to then say, by the way, you're isolated, by the way the community around you, the leaders don't know how to respond to this. And yeah, the parents are like, I don't know what's happening. I don't even know what it must have been like as
a child. So share. Yeah. So I remember feeling lost and confused pre-pandemic, as most seventh graders do, because it's middle school and a lot of things are happening and you don't really know what you're doing. And when the pandemic hit, a lot of my friends and I felt even more lonely than we did before, both physically and mentally. We were isolated from everyone and we didn't really know what was going on. And although our meetings switched from in-person to zoom, Girl Scouts was one of the only stable and social parts of my life where I
could see my friends or know that I'm doing something and still have something constant in my life. And I remember that our troop leader encouraged us to look for ways to address the pandemic and to find ways to help our community, because many of us kids felt so helpless and we wanted to do something. So for my Silver Award project, which is one of the awards that Girl Scouts can get, um, my friend and I partnered with a senior living facility, and we sent baked goods and videos and wrote letters to them and did really
anything to entertain these seniors because they were even more lonely than us, because they couldn't see their friends or family because of health restrictions and quarantine. So we help them and they honestly helped us because we could connect with each other and know that we're doing something that was helping the community around us. So Girl Scouts just really helped me through this time and through the pandemic, and realized that I can continue doing what I love and building connections. So I'm really grateful because that's also such an important critical developmental stage in my life in
middle school. So I'm really grateful to Girl Scouts that helped me build those skills. Thank you all. So now, on top of all of this, the Surgeon General declared loneliness as an epidemic. So last year, Girl Scouts released research indicating again that girls as young as five years old are facing loneliness. I have to say that that that research shook me. And maybe as a grandmother of littles, I looked at my grandchildren and thought, wow, as young as five years old. So I'd love to ask our panelists what surprised you about that research and the
findings and what sadly didn't surprise you? So I was really encouraged by the fact that this survey included kids as young as five, five years old. And for a lot of adults, it's hard for them to even imagine that a kid in kindergarten would be struggling with loneliness, let alone struggling with any big feelings like sadness or anxiety. But we know that to be true, and I'm happy that now we have the data to reflect the fact that kids struggle. Struggling and experiencing loneliness isn't something that just settles in when you're in middle school, or
in high school, or when you're an adult. All kids have the full range of human emotions, including going through the experience of loneliness. So I'm so, so, so happy that now we have that data, and now that we have that data to see how it impacts our five year olds, how loneliness impacts our five year olds, we have an opportunity to do something about it now. Was I surprised that loneliness affects five year olds, affects some of our elementary school kids? Absolutely not. And it's really sad that I can sit up here on this stage
saying, I was not sad to hear that kids who are in kindergarten, first grade, second grade are experiencing loneliness. But if you reflect on what our society looks like today, how it is we're connecting or how it is we are not connecting how it is that adults are struggling to find their own sense of community, their own group of friends. Grandparents are living further and further away from families. It is no surprise that our kids are struggling. And again, I keep repeating this. I'm a broken record, but the adults are struggling too. And again, I'm
happy that we have this data so we could do something about it. But a five year old should not experience the suffering and the pain that comes with loneliness. And that's why I'm so, so happy that Girl Scouts took the time to look into this. Thank you. I think from a perspective of a person who has grown up in a low socioeconomic community, and seeing that at times that highly correlates with low education in the household, it means that lack of resources usually also correlates with very stressed out parents, very limited time communities that are
under-resourced, and the kids that just don't have a dedicated, attentive parent. It's not that they don't have loving parents, it's just that the resources within that household is not enough, and the community support around you is extra important. And because I was in a community with a diverse population, I was able to see that. I really appreciated that I was in a place where Girl Scouts was prevalent, where I could take my daughter, and for $25 for the whole year, be able to participate in learning opportunities, in building confidence in making friends with people that
I trust, especially in the Latino Mexican-American community. You don't just have your child go and hang out with people that are strangers. Usually they have their cousins and their aunts and their friends that are like next door neighbors. But if you don't have that, because maybe you're no longer living in that community, you really have to lean into that. So I've seen it. When people don't lean into that, I see what that looks like at home. The fact that it's now starting to spread outside of even those with low socioeconomic barriers, means that we have
to lean in extra to acknowledge that we have to work together as a family, as a community. Really the same thing. And to know that there are resources out there for that is really empowering. And exactly what she was saying, like the fact that we're recognizing the need for children as young as five and not something that like, well, she can just play with her toys, she can just turn on that YouTube video. It's like, no, this becomes a foundational building block. Thank you. Yeah. So I have a younger sister, and she's not as young
as five, but I see her and her friends a lot and see their lives. And I've realized that childhood, it's a lot more structured now. You go to school, you you come home from school, maybe you go to sports practice or rehearsal, and then you go do your homework, and then you wake up and you do it all over again. And there's not much time in the day for kids just to go outside and to see other people or to make friends on in their neighborhood. And there's a lot of less unstructured play. So when
a lot of kids do have free time, I've noticed that they often turn to devices and me included, and we turn on the TV or we go on our phone. And this just it prevents us from creating real personal connections that are so important to, to learn and to build skills. So I'm I'm not surprised to hear that the data that that kids as young as five are lonely because it's lonely sitting in front of a TV by yourself. It's it's lonely being on your phone and not being around people your own age. You all.
I actually have some specific questions for each of you and Doctor Crawford, I'll start with you. What should parents and educators, caregivers? What should they know about the causes of loneliness? I think it's important for parents, number one, to be able to to recognize that it can lead to something more serious. When kids as young as five and six are experiencing loneliness, that it can unfortunately put them on a trajectory in which they might evolve into developing more serious mental health conditions. So I take loneliness very seriously. This isn't just a matter of, okay, let's
put you in a playgroup and hope for the best. We really have to be intentional about this. We have to make sure that we're checking in with our kids to see if they feel connected, to see if they feel seen at all. There are so many kids that I see in my clinic who are living in these households with multiple siblings, multiple parents, multiple adults, and nobody in that house notices that kid. Nobody in that house notices what it looks like when that kid is struggling. And so these kids are suffering in silence, surrounded by
so many people. So we really have to take it seriously. And first of all, I'm in love with Dylan. She's amazing. I mean, unbelievable. Can we just give her a round of applause? Unbelievable. She needs her own show. It's fantastic. I swear. But she talked about something that was really important. And that's play, right? And how kids are lacking opportunities to engage in unstructured play. Everything is so regimented. Everything is so structured. But play allows for kids to actually develop the skill set that is needed to connect with their peers. Play is something that is
so serious that I was trained in play therapy, right? To understand what the world is like for a kid inside of their head. And so as parents, as caregivers, sometimes our own anxiety can rub off on the experiences of our kids, and we like to hold on to them tight. Oh, no, don't go outside. Who's going to be over outside at Billy's house? This, that and the third. But we need to walk it back a little bit because our kids desperately need these opportunities to go out, have fun, connect and play. And I feel like
and I know for a fact that Girl Scouts provides that playground for them to be able to do all of that in a way that parents feel comfortable with it. So parents, teachers need to take it seriously. It can lead to much, much more serious problems and we have to let kids play. Thank you so much. I love Yes. Round of applause for Doctor Crawford. I love what you've said about now knowing the gaps. And then what we intentionally can do to help close these gaps. So I'm going to go to Dylan. Your generation has
grown up with the internet and social media. So does being online make you feel more or less connected to others? I think that social media is like a double edged sword, because on one hand, it's the form of communication with my generation. Many of my friends and I have such busy lives and busy schedules that we don't always overlap, and we don't always have time to see each other in person. So social media can help us maintain those connections and those friendships. But on the other hand, we know how dangerous social media can be. We
know that it can increase anxiety levels and increase depression. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other people we see online who a lot of the time it's fake and filtered, and we're comparing our relationships and our body image. And if we're doing it enough or if we're not doing enough, and it can really lead to low self-esteem, as many of us know. But the thing that I've noticed that I myself and a lot of my friends are struggling right now is if we take a break from social media, if we stop using social media, a
lot of the time we feel even more lonely because maybe we're not included in something or we didn't see a text string, or we don't get a reference that someone makes and everyone laughs and we feel out of the joke. So a lot of the time when we're not on social media, we get we feel isolated still. So I think that the best solution that what I've tried to do is put my phone down for a little bit during the day and then have designated hours during the day or a few minutes to look at
social media so that I can still be in the loop. But we we are going to continue living in a world of technology. We can't just just quit it altogether. So we need to learn how to help teenagers and help kids know how to maintain and use social media and technology in a healthy way so that we can continue improving our mental health rather than making it worse. Let's, like, amplify that. Truly amazing. Thank you, thank you. Um. So eases the loneliness epidemic didn't just affect children. It also affected the adults in their lives, including
troop leaders and their families. So why do you think it is so critical that we support the entire ecosystem? So a few years ago, my family was going through some really difficult times with personal health situations going on and extended family, and we had to spend a lot of time back and forth, and I was noticing that my kids were going through puberty. This is after Covid, so they're already going with all that anxiety of like, I didn't really learn how to socialize, I didn't really learn the cues and the norms. And then, you know,
my social anxiety of like, am I making friends? Do people like me? And I was so happy when I came across the fact that Girl Scout had invested in a badge to help create awareness and really normalize this concept that this is happening. Because I do think there's a stigma when a parent finds out that their child is going through a mental health crisis. I can tell you personally, you don't talk about it. You're like, if I say that, that means that I'm the problem and I'm not ready to fully like, encompass that. There's just
a lot of guilt. So to start socializing this concept like it's okay to talk about it, it's okay to address that. It helps. I mean, nobody would say, like, I can't believe you have a headache. Like, what are you, a bad parent? Like, your child does that. Like nobody would say that. And so knowing that Girl Scouts is investing with Nami to provide valid tools and resources is really a breath of fresh air. I tell people, join Girl Scouts at the minimum so that you can become educated with how to handle the community that we
are raising. And then as a troop leader, the fact that you then have to lead a group of girls who are all going through potentially mental health crisis is really challenging, so you don't want to just leave that person to their own, figure it out. You want them to feel empowered and at the same time normalize that. They should be able to flag it to the parent. And it's a community effort. So I'm really happy that we have that. And we don't want to just leave people hanging on their own and feeling like it's something
dark and you don't want to tell anyone because you're a bad person. Thank you. Another interesting finding from our research was that some girls indicated they have a hard time making friends. So why is it such a hard time for girls and frankly, also adults to make friends? I'd love to hear a little bit from each of you. Doctor Crawford. Yeah. So I think when it comes to to making friends, people have to put themselves in a vulnerable position, right? You really have to put yourself out there to have that first conversation, to say, hi,
what's your name? And a lot of kids are scared of doing that. There's a lot of fear of rejection. There's a lot of worry about, well, what if they don't like me and they don't take me in or they ignore me? It's really hard to place yourself in a vulnerable position when you already feel vulnerable. And I feel like kids in this generation, because of everything that they've been exposed to, it's as though, you know, they're wearing this almost like a sticky suit, right where some of these experiences may stick to them and kind of
weigh them down a little bit more so than how it might have impacted us. And a lot of that sticky suit is formed because of everything that's surrounding them. And so even though there might be a little bit of a rejection, maybe they didn't get that acknowledgement that they had hoped for. It can be experienced as the world's biggest thing, right? And if you have that rejection, then you're not going to feel inclined to keep going, right? You know, we're not going to see evidence of positive reinforcement if you had a negative experience. And then
also we're seeing that parents are also struggling, maintaining relationships and forming their own relationships. We're so siloed now as a society. Everyone's living in their own separate homes and everyone is family focused, which I totally understand and I get it. But parents need to know that in order to be a good parent, you have to have your own support too, right? And a lot of parents, they invest a lot of time in their kids. And I, I love and appreciate that I do the same for my kids. But you also have to invest the time
in yourself, right? You have to invest the time in filling up your cup and socializing, hanging out with your friends, going to the mall, getting your nails done, or whatever it is you like to do. You ought to do it because you are doing it in service of your kid, because you're taking care of yourself, right? And kids aren't seeing their parents doing that, so they don't know how to do it. They don't see the importance or the value of it. But again, if you want to get your nails done with your girlfriend, do it.
It will help your kid out. She just gave us all permission. Yes, get your nails done. I do it all the time. So just to make sure I understand the question is, why is it hard to make friends. For. Kids and adults? Yeah, well, I can share with you that as somebody who spends their time working with individuals that are sometimes struggling at work, which is where we spend 8 to 10 hours a day, um, people feel concerned that the investment that they're making in a relationship is going to come back to stab them in
the back. I can tell you. I mean, that happens in the workplace sometimes where somebody said, I trusted you with this secret, and then you went to tell this person, and now I'm getting written up for performance improvement plan, etc.. So yes, in the workplace it can be hard. And that's where we're spending a lot of our time at home. If a person is coming home and going through the whole routine of like, go to work, go to school, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and you're not getting a lot of in-person interaction time.
And then at school, everything is fairly structured. You need to be the demand on the teachers and the kids to get certain grades. To pass certain test scores is up there. You're not really learning how to socialize, because on top of that, you're like on your device when you come home because your brain is just needing to be off. People are just not learning that. So I think it's a combination of feeling like they have to wear the shell, remembering that time that somebody hurt them. And it's so important to just really emphasize the importance
of there are people out there who are genuine. There are people out there who want to work with you, who want to be empathetic. And so, of course, again, Girl Scouts offers such a wonderful experience where it's intentional, it's safe, it's inclusive. It allows you to just be who you are. We're not here to be a certain standard. We're just here to be your friend. So I actually moved to the US when I was seven. I'm American, but I grew up in Germany and Switzerland, and I remember coming to Dallas and I was not just
the new kid, but I was the weird new kid from Germany who didn't know what a corn dog was and had never been to a football game. So I was not texting and I felt very out of place. But I remember just having a hard time making friends right away, because all of the girls in my classes had all grown up together. They'd all been in Dallas and spent their whole lives together, and they had established social circles, and I felt like an imposter. I felt like an outsider that I didn't I didn't want to
disrupt that. And I remember one day I was walking down the hallway and I saw these three girls in these brown sashes, and I was like, that's a that's a fun fashion choice. I kind of want to try that. And I was like, I wonder what that is. So I remember going up to them and I was like, hey, like, what are the what are those sashes like? That's really cool. And they were like, oh, we're this thing called Girl Scouts. You should totally join our troop. troupe. So I joined because I was like, I
need friends. And honestly, I wanted to wear one of those sashes because I thought it was really cool with all the badges. Um, but I joined and it was it was my first group of friends. They were welcoming and they were kind and they were they were some of the smartest people I'd met, and they were only like seven and eight years old. And I'm still friends with them today. So Girl Scouts has really been a source of personal connection for me for the past ten years, whether that's building confidence together, doing a challenging hike,
or just supporting each other when we're doing good things in the community, and I just really rely on the group of girls that that I've been introduced to and women who I look up to and who are mentors. And I just want to continue being part of this for the rest of my life. I think it's the most wonderful group that I've been a part of. And doesn't she have a fantastic brown sash? Now, let me tell you, with all those badges. Yes. And she will be bridging into alum before you know it. So yes,
we expect you to be forever and ever. Once a Girl scout, always a Girl scout. Um, doctor Crawford, what are some ways you can help identify that a child is feeling lonely? I'm thinking of educators and other adults in kids lives. So what I notice is that a lot of parents have a difficult time noticing when their kid is withdrawing a little bit more, and they chalk it up to just typical childhood behavior. Oh yeah, I thought all kids, you know, want to spend most of the time in their room or not wanting to talk
to their mom and dad or their siblings. But if you notice that you're a kid who typically was outgoing, talkative, was sitting at the dinner table sharing their day with you, and you're noticing over the course of few weeks or months that they're not as engaged, that they're not sharing as much with you. If you're also noticing that you had a kid who was hanging out with friends, going to different after school activities, and you're noticing that that's not happening as often. Those are often some telltale signs that something else is going on. And the
thing about loneliness is that, yes, you could be experiencing loneliness even when you are surrounded by lots of people. So if you notice that even though your kid is with the family and all that, but they're not engaging to be curious about that and to actually call it out. Right. And to say, you know, Susie, I'm noticing that, you know, the last few weeks you haven't been, you know, sharing as much. I wonder what's behind that. So coming from a place of curiosity about the change in the behavior and noticing these changes is huge, rather
than making assumptions about why it is the kid is behaving differently, or they're not as engaged and outgoing. Rather than saying, oh, something's going on. What did you do wrong? This and that? No, no, no, you got to approach it from a place of curiosity. If also, if you're noticing that the kid is having a hard time functioning. And what I mean by that is it's hard for them to do the things they would usually do, like brush their teeth, take care of their hair, um, eat properly, sleep properly. If you see that those things
are a little bit off, or if their grades are starting to decline, you're getting more phone calls from the teacher at school. Those are clear, clear, clear signs that something is going on. And you ought to dig a little bit deeper to better understand what's behind all of that. Thank you. One thing I know about Girl Scouts is we're always willing and able to lean in to help solve a problem. So I'd love to hear from you about what Girl Scouts is doing that you see, to provide solutions to the loneliness epidemic. Yes. So as
I mentioned a few years ago, I was delighted to see that Girl Scouts had made an investment in partnering with Nami and develop a badge to create a sense of awareness amongst the girls, not just the parents and the troop leaders, but amongst the girls, and to provide the language and the space to have these conversations. I think that is like the most important thing you can do, because again, girls may start telling each other, oh, I feel this way. And if that girl wants to be a friend, they're like, oh, me too. And all
of a sudden they literally this happens. They go onto YouTube and they start self-diagnosing and they're like, mom, I have ADHD and I have this and but this is how I'm going to. And they literally think that they are like now empowered with all the facts of individuals who are coaching them and the other individuals probably like, you know, um, I don't even know how to explain why they feel so confident. I'm passionate. I'm curious to know why that happens. But then they start diagnosing and they don't share, and then they start making decisions as
to how self-treat and that happens as well. So for a child to do that, because maybe at home it's not being discussed. And I can tell you, there's a lot of parents who literally do not believe that it is a mental health crisis. They just think the child has bad friends. They just think the child needs more outdoor time or something, and that's it. And the parent is not investing. So what I, I love what she was saying because what I've learned is that kids also sometimes don't tell their parents and they start masking. And
this happened at home where somebody is like, oh, I've been doing this for like three months. And I'm like, what? I mean, like, I thought you were quote unquote like normal. They're like, no, I just think you're really stressed out. You tell me you have all these things at work, and then you tell me the taxes are due and you tell me the school loans. And so I just feel like I'm adding more to your plate. And I was like, how do you not know that you are the most important thing to me? And so
what I realized is me expecting the child to know that without me making it an intentional effort was actually not going to happen. So something as simple as we now have one hour a week where it's myself, my husband and my child. And yes, therapy is critical. But if you're not doing something at home as well, and you're not investing in making an effort to have like Girl Scouts, so it's super accessible, then no, the child will not think that that is something you want to add on to your plate. Thank you. Dylan, I understand
that you've also done some work in your community to tackle this head on. So tell us a little bit more about that. Yes. So I completed my gold award project probably about a year and a half ago. And that's a project that Girl Scouts do to leave a lasting impact on their community. So for my Gold Award project, I partnered with Mosaic Family Services in Dallas, which is a domestic violence shelter for women and children. And when I was researching the psychological effects of trauma, I realized how important it was that social emotional learning helps
children develop healthy mindsets and able to process their emotions. Because many most of these children have had to uproot their lives and had to leave their friends and had to leave their homes and start somewhere new. And that is incredibly lonely. So I wanted to do something to help these kids that I came in and I saw this, and I've been doing performing arts my whole life, and I know firsthand the benefits of it. It's made me more confident. It's helped me talk with other people and really understand how I'm feeling. So I created a
social emotional curriculum based in the performing arts to these young kids. And I would teach building confidence through improv, acting, games, or naming our emotions through role playing or puppets. And I really noticed a change in the kids because they were able to name their emotions and they were able to tell me how they felt more, and it was a way more open and communicative communicative environment. And this project is still going on today. The shelter is still using my curriculum week after week, and more and more kids are exposed to this, that this thing
that I put together. And I'm trying to talk about it more so that more and more kids realize the importance of the arts and how it can really help them in their mental health. So I think that by doing this project, it really helped me realize that I can be my most authentic and confident self and create the most change in my community when I'm putting my full self out there. And for me, that meant combining my interests of psychology and neuroscience and arts, and finding ways in which I can bring all of those parts
of myself together to do something to help other people and help discover who I was along the way and what I want to do in the future. So I'm just really grateful for that project, because it really helped me realize what I want to do and kind of who I am and how I can help other people. So yes, thank you. And congratulations on your Gold Award. Um, so, Doctor Crawford, what advice would you give to the parents or adults who are seeing loneliness in their children? So it sounds kind of cliché, but if you
see something, say something. And I really, really mean that because it can be really hard as a parent to see your kids struggling to bear witness to their suffering. And so as a defense mechanism, sometimes we turn a blind eye to it. We convince ourselves, no, no, no, no, no, Susie's okay. She's okay. Right? But you denying what it is you're actually seeing with your eyes is actually going to have a negative impact on your kid, you know? And so when we turn a blind eye to something that's right in front of us, we're doing
that only in service of ourselves and our own discomfort. But we really have to lean in to what is right in front of us and to be curious about it, to acknowledge it even as painful as it must be. And it may be to hear your five year old say to you, you know, mom, I am sad and I'm feeling really lonely. Nobody wants to have that conversation. But the fact that you have an opportunity to connect with your kid, to engage in that conversation, provides you with an opportunity to do something about it, right?
You'd rather do something about it at the age of five than at the age of 18, right before they're going off to college, right? We need to be able to provide our young people with the tools and skills that are necessary in order to be on the trajectory in which they're thriving, they're confident. But if we keep denying them these opportunities by turning a blind eye, saying, no, everything is fine, then again, they won't be able to acquire those tools. So I tell my parents, yes, it is hard and you ought to do something about
it. And then also, it can be hard when you have teachers who might give you a phone call expressing concern about your kid. And there is no other more humbling experience than somebody telling you about your kid. You're like, excuse me? And you? Are you telling me about my kid? Nobody wants to hear that or go through that. And so we'll hang up the phone and be like, you know, um, miss So-and-so doesn't know what they're talking about. They don't know my kid. But also, when you're not listening to the feedback that the teachers are
trying to prevent provide you again, you're denying your kid an opportunity to connect to resources. Right. So it hurts. It's painful. It's really difficult to hear. But you have to hear it because your kid needs they need it and they need to be connected to the appropriate supports. Can I add on to that real quick? Um, I just I remember when I was younger than five and I was about four years old and I was still living in Germany. I remember being confused on how I felt, and I knew that I felt anxious all the
time, and I was sad a lot of the time, and I. I needed things to be the right way. I needed everything to be lined up and and I didn't know what was wrong with me. And I would be going through these and I would have like thoughts in my head. And I would try to talk to my friends, but they were like, okay, you must be crazy, like four year olds telling me that. And I remember being confused. And I remember one day I came up to my mom and I was five years old
at this time, and I told my mom I was like, I think that something is wrong in my brain. I am feeling anxious all the time, and I'm feeling sad. And I could talk to my mom about that because she created this environment for me where I could talk about how I was feeling and kind of what Doctor Crawford was saying, like the importance of having that, I don't know, like she she gave me resources and I went to see a therapist for years after, and I, I was diagnosed with anxiety, but I know how
to manage it. And I actually have learned that performing arts, as scary and anxiety ridden as it is to go up on stage and talk in front of people, like it's really helped me manage that. And I just I'm grateful for my parents who have created this environment where I can talk to them about anything, and I just I want to be that. I want to tell like how firsthand that really, really helps. And it's changed my life of how I can talk to my parents about really anything. So what you were saying exactly. Just
firsthand. It's true. And I would say that is why the title was It Takes a Village. It Takes a Village. Um, the piece that I wanted to add, which is why I said what an esteemed group of panelists is. None of us can do it alone. We can't. We can't carry it on our shoulders by ourselves. So when I think about the honor I have every day of working with our partners like Nami, working with our amazing volunteers, working with our Girl Scouts themselves and their families. It is an honor and it is a village.
And so one of the things I want to really stress is what you said, Cece, about having the actual resources. Um, so a piece I will share and then we do want to open up for questions. Is Girl scouting? Years ago, when we knew that our girls on their whole mental wellness journey, we have to be a part of that. We're part of their ecosystem. We couldn't do it alone. It's why it was so important to partner with Nami with others. It was also important that we have curriculum and resources for our Girl Scouts themselves,
and for our troop leaders and our families. And so as part of that, we worked to create our ready, resilient, Strong Patch program, which is from kindergarten through 12th grade, age appropriate resources for girls at every level of their development to actually be with them on their mental wellness journey so that they are participating in it. And then the resources, like our Mental Health 101, which is a program and resources for our adults. So back to your point about having the right language, knowing what questions to ask, knowing what things to look for because none
of us can do it alone, or we end up playing a guessing game and that doesn't help anybody. So I really want to stress how grateful I am for our panelists today, and the role that they play in the lives of our girls and within our Girl Scouting ecosystem. So it's been really insightful. I'm grateful to all of you. I do want to thank each of you and that again, our work depends on this village. So I also want to do a call to say if you want to be part of this village, if you're
not part of it yet, please join us at Girl Scouts. Org. You can determine that you want to help volunteer. You can be a part in any way that works for you. And if you have a young girl in your life, it is never too late for her to begin in Girl Scouting. So again, we have the resources and we're available for you. So I know now we do want to open up for some questions from the audience, so I'll pause and see if questions come up. Okay. So this question I'll start with you, Doctor
Crawford. So what are developmentally appropriate questions to ask younger kids? 4 to 5 to check in with them about their mental health. And then maybe what about that 6 to 8 year old? So kids around the age of three are learning how to identify emotional states in other people. They're learning how to label different emotional states, sadness, anger. And so the way that you would talk to a kid who is 4 or 5 is you're going to use very, very basic terms that are just rooted in emotional states, okay. And you're going to do so
through modeling. You could say something to your kid like, man, I've been feeling really sad. And when I'm sad I do a lot of this. I move really slow and sometimes I like to eat a lot of ice cream. I wonder, have you been feeling like that lately? Keep it simple. Right. And you're doing a depression screen right there. But they're able to recognize those things. But if you are labeling what it is that you go through what it looks like when you're sad, then they'll be able to internalize that and think to themselves, am
I also experiencing sadness? I remember my mom was saying that when she said she moves a little bit slower, she sleeps a lot. Maybe I ought to let her know that I'm experiencing the same thing. Now, when it comes to kids who are in elementary school, maybe their second or third grade and what have you, you're going to amp it up a little bit, right? So you're going to talk about your feelings. You're going to model, oh, I've been feeling really anxious. I wonder, is that something you've been experiencing lately in school? They might not
want to share with you what it is that they're feeling inside, but I oftentimes ask kids about their friends and what it is that they're seeing in their friends. Hey, I wonder, you know, in third grade, I know that you guys have been, you know, working on your multiplication tables. I wonder how have your friends been dealing with, you know, all the schoolwork. Oh, everyone's so anxious. What has that looked like? And so, going through the friends, especially when kids are, you know, in elementary school and middle school, can give you a sense of what's
going on with that kid, but also it kind of opens up the kid to feel more comfortable talking about mental health and talking about feelings. Thank you. I'm taking so many notes. Can I add something to that? Just you're so cool to hear and I'm learning from you so much. Um, but I did this a lot during my gold award project, and kind of from a more like, artistic point of view perspective that I've learned helped. Sometimes doing crafts or activities that are based in emotion really helps with younger kids, because when I was going
about and I'm like, how can I teach these young kids about emotion? How can I tell them, hey, this is how to recognize anxiety. This is how to recognize when I'm feeling left out. So I did many activities and one of them we made glitter jars and we put in different colors in each of the colors represented our emotions. And I would go first and I'd be like, you know, I felt a little sad this morning, so I'm going to put in this blue because it represents sad for me. And I'm a little angry at
my sister because she took my makeup. So I'm going to put that in there and I'm going to put in, but I'm feeling really happy that I'm here with all of you today, and I'm putting in all of my emotions, and then they can do that too. And they would be like, oh, this is I'm feeling, I'm feeling this way, but I don't know what it is. So I'm just going to put in more of this color. And then we would shake our glitter jars and we would see that all of these emotions are rising
and it's and it's shaking. And then I would tell them and I was like, if you do some deep breathing and if you if you understand what your emotions, the glitter will settle. And that really stuck with a lot of the kids, even so, that the next day when I came and I taught, they were like, I used my glitter jar when I was really sad at home the other day, and it helped me process my emotions. And then also puppet role play is amazing for kids. I really recommend that because if you if you
use puppets with younger kids, a lot of the time they have trouble, especially if they've gone through some sort of trauma. They have trouble putting the emotions to themselves. So a lot of the time it's like, hey, how's how's your puppet lion doing today? Oh, my puppet lion is a little sad today. And tell me more about that. And it really, it really helps them name emotions without having to be vulnerable and say, I'm feeling this way. So kind of what Doctor Crawford was saying. It's it's really cool and it's a really cool to do
it through the arts. So I highly recommend that. So helpful. I see a bright future. Um, Doctor Crawford. Can I jump in on. Yes, absolutely. Y'all can jump in whenever you want. From. A parenting perspective, something that I learned by accident and I'm really happy this happened was when my three kids were all very close in age and all asking for attention at the same time, and they all needed to go to bed and mom needed alone time. We instituted a five minute rule where I would just put my five minutes on my watch or
my phone. I said, okay, I'll stay with you for five minutes, and then I'm leaving and we'll be okay. And they knew that every day it was five minutes. It wasn't this like, please go to bed, please go to bed. That five minute rule also included no interruption. So if I'm with your brother, you two have to not talk, not interrupt, be in your bed and then you get the exact same thing. And that started when my daughter was born and my middle one was 16 months, and my other one was like 3 or 4
years old. And we continued that until probably in the last few months with all three, five minutes. And it starts at five minutes because the child is maybe fine. They calm down after five minutes, but sometimes that's when they open up and they start telling you that something happened at school. And that's how I found out. One of my kids was getting heavily bullied, and the teacher didn't know because she is so busy. And it's not that it's her fault, it's just I needed to go in and partner with the with the teacher. But if
I didn't have the five minute rule every day, which ended up being an hour, sometimes kid would just open up. Like, I just don't think I'd have the relationship I would have with my kids. And so I just really love that. It's basically intentional every day. And it's like, that person feels like you're the most important thing in the world. And it literally five minutes. So it's something that I love for three, four, five, 18 year olds. Thank you. I actually would love to take credit for this, but I can't take credit for this. My
oldest daughter does something very similar, but she does sentence starters with her three, so she'll do. What was the best thing that happened today that made you smile? What, if anything happened today that made you sad and the fill in the blank? She's like, I know they share things with me that they otherwise would never start on their own. So the sentence starters and I told her this. I said, I'd love to be able to say, you got that from me, but I don't. I know you didn't get that from me, so it's great to
have those kind of ideas for all of us to take and activate on. Thank you all. Um, Doctor Crawford, sometimes kids say no to going to extracurricular activities that may help them improve their confidence. So how can you help your children overcome that? Yeah. So we oftentimes fall into this trap where we believe that we have the solution for our kid. You ought to join this club. You ought to sign up for this, that and the third. And when we force our kids to engage in certain activities, unfortunately, when they start that activity, they're going
to come from a place or be in a place in which they're like, I'm not going to lean into this because mom forced me to do it right. And I do think that it is important to share opportunities with your kid, even if they don't say no, even if they do say no, but to just let them know what's out there because you are planting the seed for them. About what these. Activities are all about, and what are some of the possible benefits of those? Activities. So continue to talk to them about it, but don't
force them into it. Don't sign up. Don't sign them up for it if it's something that they want to. Don't want to do because they're not going to get the most out of it, but continue. To talk about why these activities are important. Talk about why. Extracurricular activities were important for you, and what are some of the activities that you're engaged in now. So again, it's more about talking about it, modeling, providing some explanation and reasoning for why it's helpful, but not to drag them to swimming practice if they hate swimming, you know. Thank you.
I'm going to take this next question because it is, as a mental health professional, is there a way to support Girl Scout troops or initiatives? When you go to Girl Scouts? Org, you can actually plug in and find the Girl Scout Council that is closest to you. I can tell you from leading a local council, there are so many episodic mentorship opportunities available. So you leaning in and saying, here's my background, here's where I come from. If you're doing a program, I'd love to be able to lean in and assist. I always say, we're going
to lure you in for that one, and you're going to want to keep coming back. So there are so many opportunities to engage with Girl Scouts. It's always nice to find that first one if you're currently not doing it. So hopefully that answered that question. And I think we have time for one more question. So I will say what are suggestions for young women graduating who have missed. Oops, sorry. Can you read it from yours? Have missed the. Opportunity. Did it go away? It was something went away. Yeah, somehow it disappeared. Something about missing the
opportunity to be part of Girl Scouts. Okay. Before graduating. >> Thank you. Um. It's never too late. It's never too late. So, girl scouting, even though our girls go kindergarten through 12th grade and I say our young alum, I invite everybody to be part of Girl Scouts. We have adult members of Girl Scouts. I'm an adult member of Girl Scouts. My daughters and son in law are our adult members of Girl Scouts. Why? Because we're all in this village together, so it is never too late. Please lean in. And again, we will find a great
way for you to be able to participate and be part of our village with us. So this has been fabulous. Thank you all. Thank you for the great questions and thank you all. And let's give them a round of applause.
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