In Old Age, NEVER Share These 5 Secrets Things with Anyone | Jordan Peterson Motivation 2025

There's something I've been thinking about lately and it's not the kind of thing people like to talk about, especially as they get older. But it's precisely these things, the things we shy away from that end up mattering the most. So, let's start with a question, a real question, the kind that gets under your skin.

What are the things that if you share them in old age will absolutely sabotage your peace, your dignity, maybe even your very sense of self? I mean, really think about that for a moment because it's not obvious. It's not obvious at all.

You see, we live in a culture that's obsessed with openness. Share your truth. They say, "Be authentic.

" And sure, there's value in that. But there's also a profound danger, a danger that's amplified as you get older, when the stakes are higher and the consequences of a misplaced word can echo for years. I've seen it clinically and personally.

I've watched people, good people, people who've lived through decades of struggle and triumph undermine themselves in a single conversation just by saying too much to the wrong person at the wrong time. It's tragic really and it's avoidable. I remember a patient of mine, let's call her Margaret, she was in her late 70s, sharp as attack but lonely.

She started confiding in a neighbor about her finances, her regrets, her fears. At first, it seemed harmless, but then the neighbor started dropping hints, asking for small favors, borrowing money. Before long, Margaret was isolated and anxious, and worst of all, ashamed.

She'd handed over her autonomy piece by piece just by being too open. That's not just a personal failing. That's a structural problem.

That's a problem of boundaries, of knowing where end in the world begins. And it's not just Margaret, it's all of us. It's universal.

As you age and your circle shrinks, the people you can really trust, they get fewer and farther between. And yet, the temptation to overshare grows. Maybe it's the fear of being forgotten.

Maybe it's the hope that someone, anyone, will really listen. But here's the thing. Not everyone who listens has your best interests at heart.

In fact, sometimes the very act of sharing is what makes you vulnerable to exploitation, to gossip, to manipulation. That's not paranoia. That's reality.

Now, you might say, "Well, what's the alternative? Should I just clam up? Should I never say anything to anyone?

" No, that's not it. The alternative is discernment. It's wisdom.

It's knowing the difference between what's sacred and what's profane, between what should be spoken and what should be held close. And that's not easy. That's a lifelong project, but it's necessary.

So, let's lay it out. There are five things, five categories of things that you should never share with anyone, especially in old age. And we're going to walk through each of them one by one, not just at the surface level, but all the way down to the bedrock.

We'll look at the practical dangers, the psychological underpinnings, even the mythological roots. Because this isn't just about keeping secrets. It's about maintaining your sovereignty, your dignity, your very sense of self in a world that's all too eager to strip it away.

But before we go any further, let me ask you something. And I want you to really think about this. Have you ever shared something personal, maybe a regret, maybe a fear, with someone only to regret it later?

What happened? Did it bring you closer or did it drive a wedge? Did it give you peace or did it haunt you?

I'd like you to write about that in the comments. What's the one thing you wish you'd kept to yourself? Because I suspect that for most of you, there's at least one story like that.

And maybe, just maybe, by sharing those stories, we can all get a little wiser. So, here's what we're going to do. We'll start with the first thing, the thing that in my experience is the most underestimated, the most easily weaponized, and the most likely to come back and bite you.

But we won't stop there. We'll peel back the layers one by one until we get to the core of the matter. Because this isn't just about avoiding pain.

It's about living well. It's about finishing strong. You bloody well know deep down that there are things you shouldn't say.

The question is, will you have the courage to keep them to yourself? Let's find out. Let me tell you a story about a man I knew.

We'll call him Harold. Harold was 78 years old, financially secure, respected in his community. He'd built a successful business, raised three children, and was enjoying what should have been his golden years.

Then one day at a family gathering, after perhaps one glass of wine too many, he started talking about his finances in detail, he mentioned the exact amount in his retirement accounts. He talked about his investment properties. He even, and this is the part that makes me wse, he even told his adult children and their spouses exactly how much each of them would inherit.

Within 6 months, his daughter-in-law was pressuring his son to ask for advance on the inheritance. His youngest son, who had always struggled financially, suddenly needed money for a can't miss business opportunity. And worst of all, Harold started receiving calls from investment adviserss who somehow knew exactly how much he had to invest.

It's like you think you're just being open and honest, but what you're actually doing is painting a target on your back. And that target doesn't just attract strangers. It attracts the people closest to you.

And it transforms them. It transforms them in ways that neither of you want. Now, why do we do this?

Why do elderly people so often feel compelled to share their financial details? I've thought about this a lot, both as a clinical psychologist and just as a human being watching other human beings. And I think there are several deep psychological motivations at play here.

First, there's the desire for connection. As you age, your social circle naturally shrinks. People die, they move away, they become immersed in their own lives.

And so, there's this desperate hunger for meaningful connection. And one way to create the illusion of intimacy is to share something private, something like your financial status. But there's more to it than that.

There's also this desire for validation. You want people know that you've done well, that your life amounted to something. Look, you're saying, "I wasn't a failure.

I accumulated this much. " It's a way of proving your worth, of solidifying your legacy. And then there's the most insidious motivation of all, the unconscious desire to control others through your wealth.

This is the one nobody wants to admit to, but it's real. And when you tell people, especially family members, about your money, you're creating expectations. You're dangling a carrot.

And on some level, and you know that this gives you power over them. The problem is it's a bloody terrible strategy because what happens is that you don't just change how they see your money. You change how they see you.

You go from being Harold the respected patriarchs to being Herald the walking checkbook. And that's a one-way transformation. You can't undo it.

I've seen this happen over and over in my clinical practice. An elderly person shares their financial details thinking it will bring them closer to others and instead it creates this terrible dynamic where they're constantly wondering, "Does this person care about me or just my money? " And let me tell you, once that question enters your mind, it never fully leaves.

The psychological consequences are profound. When you share your financial details, you're not just risking practical problems like scams or manipulation. You're risking your very sense of self.

You're risking your dignity. You're risking the authentic human connections that actually sustain us emotionally. And here's the thing.

This isn't just about protecting yourself from bad actors. It's about protecting others from their own worst impulses. Because the truth is, most people don't start out intending to exploit an elderly relative or friend.

But knowledge creates temptation. And temptation over time can erode even the strongest moral foundations. I'm reminded of a story from mythology.

J's ring. And Jesus was a shepherd who found a magical ring that made him invisible. And what did he do with this power?

He seduced the queen, killed the king, and took over the kingdom. The philosopher Plato uses this story to ask I would any of us behave justly if we could get away with being unjust. When you tell people about your wealth and you're essentially handing them Gaja's ring, you're creating a temptation that might be too powerful to resist.

So, what's the alternative? Well, it's not about being secretive in a paranoid way. It's about being appropriately private.

It's about understanding that some information is like plutonium. It needs to be handled with extreme care and only shared with those who have the proper training and protective gear. In practical terms, this means that your financial details should be shared only with want and professional adviserss who are bound by confidentiality and fiduciary duty too.

Perhaps one or two trusted family members who need to know for practical reasons. Three, no one else, not your neighbors, not your friends at church, not even your adult children, unless there's a specific need for them to know. And if someone asks, because people will ask, especially as you get older, you need to have a prepared response.

Something like, "I'm comfortable. Thank you, but I prefer not to discuss the details. " And then change the subject.

This isn't about being cold or distant. It's about creating boundaries that actually allow for healthier and more authentic relationships. Because when people don't know your financial worth, they're forced to relate to you as a human being, not as a resource to be tapped.

I've seen what happens when elderly people maintain appropriate financial privacy. They're treated with more genuine respect. They have more authentic relationships.

And perhaps most importantly, they maintain their dignity and autonomy into very old age. So never share your financial details. Not because you're paranoid, but because you're wise.

Because you understand that some kinds of transparency don't lead to connection. They lead to corruption. They corrupt how others see you.

and ultimately they corrupt how you see yourself and that's a price that's simply too high to pay for a moment of validation or a false sense of intimacy. Your dignity is worth more than that. Your authentic connections are worth more than that.

You are worth more than that. So guard your financial privacy like the treasure it is. Because in the end, it's not just about protecting your money.

It's about protecting your very humanity. Let's talk about regret. Not the kind you can fix with an apology or a quick phone call.

I mean, the deep and knowing kind, the kind that sits in your gut for decades and shapes the very way you see yourself. And here's the thing. In old age, there's an almost irresistible urge to spill it all out, to confess, to unburden yourself to whoever is willing to listen.

But that's a trap. That's a hell of a trap. And it's one that can cost you more than you ever imagined.

I remember a woman I worked with years ago. Let's call her Anne. She was in her early 80s, sharp, honest, and after a lifetime of holding things in, she decided it was finally time to tell her children about the mistake she'd made.

She thought it would bring them closer, that it would offer some kind of healing. But it didn't. It shattered the image they had of her.

It burdened them with stories they weren't equipped to carry. Instead of relief, there was distance. Instead of intimacy, there was confusion and pain.

You think confession will bring you relief, but sometimes it only brings condemnation. Sometimes it just brings more suffering. Why does this happen?

Why do we feel compelled, especially as we age, to lay bare our deepest regrets? Part of it is the hope for catharsis. We want to believe that if we just say it out loud, the weight will lift.

That's the story we tell ourselves. But there's a darker side, too. Sometimes we want to be understood so badly to be seen in our full complexity and that we forget not everyone is ready or able to see us that way.

And not everyone is safe. Not everyone is trustworthy. Jung talked about the shadow, the part of ourselves that we hide even from ourselves.

And he was right. Not everyone is equipped to bear witness to your darkness. Some people will use it against you.

Some people will never look at you the same way again. It's like this. Imagine you're carrying a heavy stone.

You've carried it for so long that it's become part of you. And one day you decide to hand it to someone else. But what if they're not strong enough to hold it?

And what if they just drop it right on your foot? Now you're hurt. And so are they?

That's what happens when you share your deepest regrets with the wrong person. You're not just risking yourself, you're risking them, too. And it gets worse.

In families especially, this kind of sharing can be toxic. You think you're being honest and but what you're really doing is shifting the emotional burden onto your children or your friends. You're asking them to process something that maybe they never needed to know.

Maybe they never wanted to know. And now what was once your pain becomes theirs. That's not fair.

That's not love. That's just spreading the suffering around. So what's the alternative?

What do you do with all that regret, all that pain? Well, you don't just bottle it up and pretend it doesn't exist. That's not the answer either.

But you have to be careful, bloody careful about who you share it with. And there are places for confession, a journal, a therapist, a spiritual adviser, someone who's trained, someone who's chosen to carry that kind of weight. Not your children, not your friends over coffee, not the neighbor who just happens to ask how you're doing.

You have to ask yourself, what am I hoping to achieve by sharing this? Am I looking for forgiveness? Am I trying to make sense of my life or am I just trying to ease my own pain no matter the cost to others?

That's a hard question, but it's the only one that matters. And here's the deeper truth. Regret is universal.

Everyone has it. Everyone, it's part of being human. But the way you carry it, that's what defines you.

That's what shapes the legacy you leave behind. You don't have to confess every sin, every mistake, every failure. Sometimes the greatest act of courage is to bear your regrets with dignity, to learn from them, to let them make you wiser, not weaker.

So if you're tempted to unburden yourself, to spill your deepest regrets to anyone who listens, stop. Think, ask yourself, is this really for them or is it just for me? And if it's just for you, maybe it's time to find another way.

Write it down. Pray about it. Talk to someone who's equipped to help, but don't hand that stone to someone who can't carry it.

Don't turn your pain into theirs. Because in the end, it's not about erasing regret. It's about transforming it.

It's about using it to become the kind of person who can look back on a life well-lived, not because it was perfect, but because you carried your burdens with strength and wisdom. And that that's something worth aiming for. Now, if you think I'm being too harsh, consider this.

How many relationships have been ruined? How many families torn apart by a confession that should have stayed between you and your conscience? You bloody well know it happens.

Maybe it's happened to you. So, be careful. Be wise.

And above all, be kind not just to yourself, but to the people you love. Let's move on. If your regrets are best kept for those who can truly help, what about your opinions, especially about family?

That's where things get even trickier. Let me ask you something and I want you to really think about it. Have you ever been in a situation where you said exactly what you thought about a family member, maybe your son, your daughter-in-law, and your brother, your own spouse, and then watched almost in slow motion as the atmosphere in the room changed?

Maybe you thought you were finally setting the record straight. Maybe you thought you were doing everyone a favor by being honest. But what actually happened?

Did it bring you closer or did it poison the air for years? That's a hell of a thing to witness. And it's far more common than you'd like to admit.

You see, and there's this idea floating around, especially as people get older, that you've earned the right to say whatever you want to whomever you want about whoever you want. I'm old. I've seen it all.

I'll tell it like it is. But that's not wisdom. That's just unfiltered honesty masquerading as virtue.

And it's dangerous. It's like you think you're telling the truth, but sometimes the truth is a weapon. Sometimes it's a bloody grenade you toss into the middle of your own family, and then you wonder why everything's in ruins.

I've seen it happen clinically and personally. I remember a man, let's call him Gerald, who after decades of biting his tongue, decided to finally let his family know what he really thought about his daughter's husband. He thought he was being helpful.

He thought he was being brave. But what he actually did was set off a chain reaction of resentment, defensiveness, and division that lasted for years. Holidays became tense, and phone calls grew infrequent.

The family, once close, fractured into little camps of loyalty and suspicion. And for what? For the satisfaction of having said what was on his mind.

That's a bad trade. That's a terrible strategy. Now, why does this happen?

Why do people, especially in old age, feel compelled to unload their unfiltered opinions about family? Part of it is the illusion that honesty is always the highest good. But that's not true.

Honesty is a tool, not a god. And like any tool, it can be used for good or for harm. There's a difference, a profound difference between being honest and being wise.

The wise person knows that not every truth needs to be spoken. The wise person knows that sometimes silence is the highest form of love. There's a biblical story that comes to mind, King Lear.

Here's a man at the end of his life and who demands absolute honesty from his daughters. He wants to know who loves him most. And he wants to hear it plain and unvarnished.

And what happens? His family is torn apart. The kingdom descends into chaos.

The lesson isn't that honesty is bad. The lesson is that honesty without wisdom is destructive. It's like fire.

It can warm or it can burn down your house. So what's actually going on psychologically? Well, sometimes when people get older, they feel invisible.

They feel powerless. And so they try to assert themselves by telling it like it is. They want to be heard.

They want to matter. But there's a dark side to that impulse. Sometimes it's not about helping the family at all.

Sometimes it's about settling all scores or projecting your own unresolved pain onto the next generation. That's not honesty. That's just using the truth as a club.

And the consequences, they're almost always worse than you imagine. Family riffs that last for years. Children who don't visit.

And grandchildren who grow up in an atmosphere of suspicion and bitterness. Words once spoken can't be unsaid. They echo through generations.

You might think you're just expressing yourself. But what you're really doing is planting seeds of discord that will bear bitter fruit long after you're gone. So, what should you do instead?

Well, first ask yourself, is what I'm about to say necessary? Is it kind? Will it actually help?

If the answer is no, keep your mouth shut. That's not cowardice. That's restraint.

That's strength. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for your family is to hold your tongue. To let people work out their own relationships, their own struggles without your commentary muddying the waters.

And look, I'm not saying you should never speak the truth. There are times where are times when a hard truth needs to be spoken when silence would be a form of complicity. But those moments are the exception, not the rule.

And even then, the truth should be delivered with care, with humility, with genuine concern for the well, being of everyone involved, not as a way to vent your own frustration or assert your own superiority. Here's the deeper point. As you get older, your words carry more weight, not less.

People remember what you say. They carry it with them sometimes for the rest of their lives. That's a responsibility.

That's a burden. And it's one you should bear with care. So never share your true unfiltered opinions of family members.

Not because you're afraid, but because you're wise. Because you understand that the bonds of family are fragile. and that your role, especially in old age, is not to tear down, but to build up, to be a source of stability, not a source of chaos.

Try it for a week. The next time you're tempted to set the record straight to finally say what you really think about your son, in-law, your daughter, your brother, don't hold your tongue, watch what happens. You might find that in your silence, you're actually making things better, not worse.

And that in the end is the kind of legacy worth leaving. Now, if you think that's too much to ask, consider the alternative. How many families have been torn apart by a single careless remark?

How many relationships have been poisoned by an unnecessary truth? You bloody well know it happens. Maybe it's happened to you.

So, be careful, be wise, and above all, be kind not just to yourself, but to the people you love. And if you can do that, if you can master the art of restraint, then maybe, just maybe, you'll become the kind of elder your family actually wants to listen to. And that in the end is worth more than any momentary satisfaction you might get from telling it like it is.

Let's get right to the heart of it. The fear of death, the fear of decline, the terror that creeps in as you get older and realize that your time is running out. That's a hell of a thing.

And it's one of those topics that people don't want to talk about, but it's there lurking in the background, shaping every conversation, every decision, every sleepless night. And here's the trap. As you age, you might feel the urge to share those fears with the people around you, your children, your friends, maybe even strangers.

You think, "If I just say it out loud, maybe it'll lose its power. " But that's not how it works. Not usually.

I remember a patient, let's call him Bill. Bill was in his late 70s, a tough old guy, a real survivor. But as his health started to fail, he began to talk more and more about his fear of dying.

He'd call his daughter late at night, voice trembling, and tell her how scared he was of pain, of being alone, of simply ceasing to exist. He thought he was seeking comfort. He thought he was building intimacy.

But what he was really doing was passing his terror on to her. She started having panic attacks. She couldn't sleep.

She began to dread his calls. And the sad thing is, Bill felt even more alone than before. That's the paradox.

You think you're seeking solace, but you might be sowing despair. Why does this happen? Why do we feel compelled as we approach the end and to unbburden our existential anxieties onto those around us?

Part of it is the basic human need for connection. We want to be understood, especially when we're afraid. We want someone to tell us it's going to be all right, even if we know deep down that it isn't.

But there's another layer here, something darker and more primal. When you share your deepest fears about death and decline, you're not just looking for comfort. You're also, in a way, asking others to carry a burden that only you can bear.

It's like this. Imagine you're holding a torch. The flame is your fear, the raw searing knowledge of your own mortality.

If you pass that torch to your children, to your spouse, to your friends, what are you really doing? You're not making the flame any smaller. You're just spreading the fire.

And sometimes the people you love aren't equipped to hold it. Sometimes they get burned. There's a reason that in so many cultures, the elders are expected to be the strong ones, the anchors, the ones who face the darkness with dignity, so that the younger generation can get on with the business of living.

There's a kind of wisdom in that, a kind of stoicism. You see it in myth and in the old stories, the sage who sits quietly by the fire, who knows the end is coming but doesn't burden others with his dread. That's not repression.

That's responsibility. Now, I'm not saying you should bottle everything up. That's not healthy either.

But you have to be bloody careful about how and with whom you share your existential fears. There's a difference between seeking genuine support, maybe from a therapist, a spiritual adviser, or a close friend who's truly equipped to handle it, and simply dumping your anxiety onto those who aren't ready for it. Your children, for instance, they're already carrying enough.

They're trying to build their own lives, raise their own families, face their own uncertainties. When you tell them, "I'm terrified of dying. " What are you really asking them to do?

Fix it. make it go away. They can't.

No one can. And here's the deeper point. And facing death is the final test of character.

It's the last great challenge. And how you handle it, how you carry yourself in the face of the inevitable sets an example for everyone around you. If you can face it with a measure of courage and with a bit of grace, you give your loved ones a gift.

You show them that it's possible to look into the abyss and not flinch. That's not just for you. That's for them.

But if you collapse, if you make your fear the center of every conversation, if you demand constant reassurance, if you turn your decline into a kind of emotional blackmail, then you risk dragging everyone down with you. You risk turning your final days into a source of trauma, not wisdom. So, what's the alternative?

How do you deal with the terror that comes with aging? With the knowledge that the end is near, first, you acknowledge it. You don't pretend it isn't there.

You don't lie to yourself, but you also don't let it rule you. You find ways to process it privately or with the help of professionals. You meditate, you pray, you write, you talk to people who can actually help who are trained to hold that kind of pain without being destroyed by it.

And when you do speak to your loved ones, you choose your words carefully. You let them know and in your own way that you're aware of what's coming, but that you're doing your best to handle it. You don't make them responsible for your peace of mind.

You don't turn them into your therapists. You let them be your children, your friends, your partners, not your caretakers in the realm of existential dread. And because here's the thing, everyone is afraid of death.

Everyone. It's the price of admission for being alive. But not everyone has the courage to face it without dragging others down.

That's the real test. That's the final act of love. So in old age, never share your deepest fears about death and decline with just anyone.

Not because you're ashamed, not because you're trying to be a hero, but because you understand the weight of what you're carrying. Because you know that in the end, some burdens are yours alone to bear. And if you can do that, if you can face the darkness with a bit of dignity, you give everyone around you a fighting chance to do the same when their time comes.

Try it for a week. The next time you feel the urge to spill your existential guts to your children, your friends, your neighbors, pause, take a breath, ask yourself, "Is this really for them, or is it just for me? " And if it's just for you, maybe it's time to find another way.

You bloody well know what I'm talking about. You know the difference. And if you hold that line, even for a little while, you might just find a new kind of strength, a quiet, steady flame that doesn't need to be passed on.

And that in the end is what it means to grow old with wisdom. That's the legacy worth leaving. Let me tell you a story.

Years ago, I met a man in his late 70s. Let's call him Walter. Walter was, by all accounts, a good man.

He'd lived through hardship, built a family, and seen more of life's ups and downs than most people ever will. But as he aged, as loneliness crept in, and the world seemed to shrink, he started to talk not just about himself, but about everyone else. and not just his own stories, but the secrets others had entrusted to him.

His brother's hidden illness, his friend's old betrayal, things told to him in confidence decades ago. He thought he was just making conversation, connecting. What he didn't realize was that with every secret he revealed, he was unraveling the very fabric of trust that had held his relationships together for a lifetime.

That's a hell of a thing to witness, and it's a tragedy that plays out far more often than you'd think. Now, why does this happen? Why do people, especially in old age, feel compelled to share what isn't theirs to share?

Part of it is the hunger for relevance. You get older and maybe you start to feel invisible, like the world is moving on without you. So, you reach for something, anything that will make people pay attention.

And secrets, well, they're powerful. They make you the center of attention, even if just for a moment. But at what cost?

You think you're unburdening yourself and but you're actually placing a burden on someone else. You're trading your integrity for a fleeting sense of connection. That's a bad strategy.

That's a damn bad strategy. There's a deeper layer here to a moral one. Trust is sacred.

It's the glue that holds families, friendships, even entire communities together. When someone tells you a secret, they're not just giving you information. They're giving you a piece of themselves.

They're saying, "I trust you to hold this. " And when you break that trust, especially when you're old enough to know better, you're not just betraying them. You're betraying yourself.

And you're eroding your own character, your own sense of who you are. And that's not something you can buy back with an apology. Think about the myth of Pandora's box.

Pandora, out of curiosity, opens the forbidden container and unleashes chaos into the world. Secrets are like that. Once they're out, you can't put them back in and you can't undo the damage.

And the older you get, the more you realize just how fragile trust really is, how easy it is to destroy, and how hard it is to rebuild. So, what's really going on here? Psychologically, sometimes sharing a secret is about feeling needed.

You want to matter. You want to have something that no one else has, but that's a childish impulse. The wise path, the adult path, is to recognize that your value doesn't come from what you know about others, but from your ability to be trustworthy, to be a safe harbor in a world that's often anything but safe.

And let's be honest, the temptation to gossip, to reveal, to be the one, the no, it never really goes away. But every time you give in, you make yourself smaller. You chip away at your own dignity.

You become, in a very real sense, less than you could be. So, what should you do instead? First, make a rule for yourself if someone has entrusted you with a secret, and you take it to the grave unless there's a truly compelling moral reason not to.

And those reasons are vanishingly rare. You don't reveal a secret because you're bored or lonely or looking for attention. You don't reveal a secret to teach someone a lesson or to clear the air.

You hold it. You honor it because that's what decent people do. And if you're ever in doubt, ask yourself, "What kind of legacy do I want to leave?

" Do you want to be remembered as someone who could be trusted, someone who kept faith even when it was hard, or do you want to be remembered as someone who couldn't keep their mouth shut, who scattered chaos in their wake? You bloody well know the answer to that. Here's the paradox in old age.

When so much is slipping away, your health, your independence, your place in the world, the one thing you can still control is your integrity. You can still choose to be the kind of person others can rely on. And that in the end is worth more than any secret you could ever share.

So try it just for a week. When you're tempted to reveal something that isn't yours to reveal, stop. Bite your tongue.

See what happens. Watch how people respond when they realize you're a vault, not a seieve. You might find that in your silence, you gain a new kind of respect, a quiet strength that can't be taken away.

Because here's the truth. You already know what you shouldn't say. You already know which secrets aren't yours to tell.

The question is, will you have the courage to keep them? And will you be the elder who leaves behind wisdom, not wreckage? That's up to you.

And that, I think, is the final test of character. The last best gift you can give to the people you love is the knowledge that their trust in you is never misplaced. So hold the line, keep the faith, and watch how your world changes.