THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS - Ep 4: Fast Food Masquerade

[upbeat techno music plays] ♪♪ -So, you just wind your arm backwards in a big circle, release right at the bottom, and follow through. You got that? -Uh… -You're wasting your time, Raggy.

-[sighs] Just wait a second. -Like this? -Yeah, you got it.

Oof! -Jax! -I actually didn't mean to do that.

-Are you all right, Gangle? -Owww… -[sighs] Why do you always gotta do this? -What?

I just said it was an accident. -Unbelievable. You are unbelievable!

-[Zooble]: Hey, Gangle. I think I found something you might like. -…really a bad guy!

-Oh, right, of course! What was I thinking? -[Zooble]: I dunno if it'll work, but it looks about the same shape as yours.

-Oh. -[Zooble]: And the best part is, it's plastic. [thunk-thunk!

] So it won't break as easily. Try it on. How's it feel?

-It feels… normal. Like, in a good way. -[Zooble]: That's good.

Right? -Yeah. Thank you, Zooble.

-What the heck is this? You're just givin' away parts now? -[Zooble]: So what if I am?

I'm not giving any to YOU. -[hisses through teeth] Darn. I guess you're never gettin' that unicorn horn, Pomni.

-When did I ever say anything about that? -I think you'd look good with one. -Well, it's possib-- -Did somebody say "adventure"?

-Well, it's possib-- -No…? -Today's adventure is… That's right! Scary human meat is all over the walls, and, boy, is it smelly!

It's up to you to -- -Okay, wait, wait wait. Can we, like, chill with the horror? Please?

I really don't want this to be like last time. -[Zooble]: What happened last time? Was that the one made for me?

-There was this awful, horrifying angel head thing. And when we tried to fight back at all, we got sent to Hell, where evil souls tried to infest our bodies. It was bad.

-[Zooble]: Why did you think I would like that? -Well, if you're all gonna be such CRITICS, why don't you suggest a better one? -[Zooble]: We do!

Have you not checked the suggestion box once? -Gonna be real, I forgot we had that. -[Zooble]: I knew it.

-We have a suggestion box? -[Zooble]: Basically, no. -Bubble, plug that up.

-Bleh! -"How about an adventure where Zooble gets turned into a piñata, and we all take turns beating them up? " -[chuckles] That one's mine.

-[Zooble]: Who would have guessed? -"Let's just have an adventure where Jax can't talk… [muffled] …through the entire thing. " -Genuinely hurtful.

-[Zooble]: Good. -Can we maybe pick one that's more… normal? -W-Well, I don't know what's NORMAL to you people!

"Let's have one where we all work at a fast food place. " Is that normal? -Who wrote that?

-Uh, yeah, that's pretty normal. -Great! That means today's adventure is… And YOU can be the shift manager!

-You did not just make that today's adventure. -That's right! You've shown enough leadership skills today to be the perfect shift manager!

Of course. Of course! I'm already getting tons of ideas!

Haha-- That was weird. -[Zooble]: Well, see you guys when it's over. -Wh-- Again?

! -[Zooble]: I'm not gonna be a wage slave for fun. -[Kinger]: [gasps] Oh!

I know! I could sit this one out, and Zooble could take my place! -[Zooble]: Wh-- That's not how that works.

-Great idea, Kinger! It'll be nice to have you back on board, Zooble. -[Zooble]: Wh-- Are you kidding me?

! I'm not just gonna be forced into this stupid adventu-- -You can shut up now! -[Zooble]: [descending] AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

! ! !

-I think I might be able to give it a swing. Being a shift manager WAS my job at one point. -Then what are we waiting for?

Get your nonslip shoes ready, 'cause we're going to Spudy's! -AGH! !

[triumphant fanfare plays] -[Zooble]: --AAAGH! -Well, I guess I should get into manager mode and get us all kicked off. [buttons beeping] [switches flicking] [cheerful, industrious music plays] ♪♪ And with that out of the way, let's get to work, guys!

-Oh, no! It looks like I've taken Ragatha… -Huh? -…And dropped her in the deep fryer.

-[burbled screaming] -Oh, no no no no no no NO. We can't have ANYTHING like that going on around here. -What are you gonna do about it, though?

-I'm calling upper management. [burbled screaming continues] [phone rings] -Mmmmyello? -Hey, Caine.

We're having a bit of an issue with the employees, and I was wondering if you could maybe have a punishment waiting for them at the end of the day if they do a terrible job? -Wait, what? -Motivation!

That's what my adventures have been missing! Great idea, Gangle. I'll be sure to make something TRULY awful awaiting your rotten employees.

-Why would you do this? -It's called a manic episode, and you're gettin' three more seasons! [laughs heartily] Anyway.

Jax, it's your job to set up the drink station, make new coffee and iced tea, and fill the ice cream machine. So, get to it! -[Ragatha]: [screaming continues] -This is really weird.

[hiss! ] -[Zooble]: Agh! [bouncing footsteps] -[Strange customer]: [unintelligible, rubbery speech] -Oh, uh -- uh, what can I get for you today?

-Oh, hey! It's Orbsman. Oh, he's from a previous adventure.

Uh, before your time. -[Orbsman]: [unintelligible, rubbery speech continues] -Okay, uh, a Number 57. -Oh, I HAAATE this guy.

-Never say you hate the customer while the customer is still here. We wait until after hours for that. [pleasant muzak plays over speakers] -Ugh.

-[NPC 1]: [rudely] Excuse me. Yeah, little jester? I'd like to order the Stupid Burger.

Last time I ordered it here, they forgot to add the sauce that makes you stupid. Don't forget the sauce. -I-Is that a thing we have?

-[NPC]: Yes. I order it all the time. I'm addicted.

-Okay. One Stupid Burger. -Heard you loud and clear.

♪♪ Guh! ♪♪ [warped rushing] [sinister music plays] ♪♪ [guffaws softly] -So, you're just, like, actually doing the job. -[Zooble]: Yeah?

I don't want Caine to punish me. -[scoffs] Caine's not gonna do anything malicious. It's…[sniffs] …not in his nature.

-[Zooble]: You really want to find out? The only thing holding Caine back is the fact that he likes us. I wouldn't push it.

-That's rich coming from you. Ugh! [dishes clinking] -[yelps] Hello!

-Hello, sheila! I'll have a sausage bacon jaffle combo. And the mates here just want six hash browns split between ‘em.

-Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, are you -- Do y-y-you -- Hi! -Uh -- Are you, uh -- You all right, miss?

-Y-yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fiiiine. I'll call your order when your name's ready, er -- [stammers] Yeah.

-Aw, wait -- I forgot to ask for a kid's meal toy. -You're not a kid. -Ah, yeah.

Uh, an adult toy, then. -Eh, don't know about that one, mate. Uh, can I help you, miss?

-I, uh… [laughs nervously] …just wanted to say hi. -Um… Hi. Do we know each other?

-I… don't know. -What? Ragatha, where's Pomni?

-[slow, slurred speech ] Huh? Oh, she's flirting with the gummy guy. 'Cause she'd rather be with the NPC than with us, or something.

-Hmm. Well, that won't do. -I wish someone would flirt with me.

-Pomni! We need you on the register! Stop weirding the customers out!

-But it's Gummigoo. Can't the job wait a bit? It's not like this is real.

-[laughs sarcastically] Next you're gonna say my authority isn't real. [tink! ] Anyway, put away that breakfast menu, because it's lunch time!

All right, fellas, it's lunch rush. Get your game faces on! [distant equipment beeping] [dishes clinking] [register dinging repeatedly] [Gloink Queen growling] -[stammers] Does this count as a bus?

-Are you ready to order? -[NPC 2] No, thanks. I got this bowl of cereal.

[crunching] -Well, there's a line of people behind -- [rumbling] -[munching] [NPCs screaming] 300 cheeseburgers for all my precious spawn! -Is that for here, or to… Uhhhh, can you hold on for just a second? -[NPC 3]: AGH!

! AAAAAGH! !

! -Blumby, Skethers, Leotthew! Leave that poor, pitiful creature alone!

-Do all the gloinks have names? -Of COURSE they do! I love and cherish every gloink I give birth to!

What kind of mother do you think I am? -[slurring] Tha's beautiful… -Hey, I-I… -[speaking indistinctly] [mellow music plays] I-I just… w-want to wish you a pleasant day. Thanks for eating at Spudsy's.

♪♪ -Have a good one, miss. [bell jingles] [door creaks] [lighthearted music plays] -[sing-song] Oh, Ja-ax! [normal voice] The bathroom looks like a biohazard and needs a good scrubbin'.

-Uh, I dunno -- shouldn't, like, a biohazard crew take care of that? -[laughs] Oh, Jaxy-boy. Don't you want to be a model employee?

-No. I don't care about any of this. -Well, that doesn't really sound like a can-do attitude to me.

-It's not. -[laughs stiffly] Bad. -I like you better when you're sad.

[tink! ! ] -[laughs] Well.

Maybe YOU just need some more… -More -- -…Training! -BLEGH! [grunts] Uh -- Huh?

Huh? ? [TV zaps on] [pleasant music plays] -[over speakers] Hi!

Welcome to Spudsy's. In this video, you're gonna learn the ins and outs of what makes YOU a good crew member -- AND a valuable asset to the Spudsy's Corporation. -When did you make this?

-Now, I know what you're thinking -- "I don't want a career in fast food. I want to be a comic artist and eventually launch my own manga-inspired webcomic! " And it's cool to have dreams, but you also need to remember that they're completely unrealistic, and you need to stop trying.

But before we get into all that, first things first! Are you smiling? -Uh, no?

[music stops] -Why not? -Uh -- Uh -- Wait -- Uh -- Wait, wait -- Uh -- Wait -- Um -- No-- Nobody can see this, right? -It's time for your employee reevaluation.

[alternating tones play rapidly] [silly music plays] -Hmmmm… Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhorseradish sauce… -[Zooble]: Hey! We need to start assembling these. I'm running out of room here.

-Ehh, I made, like, five or six of 'em? -[Zooble]: Cool. That's 6 out of 300.

-Uuughh. You… are such a grouch. Why are you always being a -- a -- a grunch?

Grun -- Haha… -[Zooble]: Gangle, can you help Ragatha? I think she… huffed paint, or something. -Huffing paint and not waiting until a designated break?

I'll be right there. -No, wait. I can do it.

[giggling] I just gotta grab the horseradish sauce. [sighs] I miss my horses. -[Gangle]: Here, let me help you with that.

-Why are you even the boss, anyway? I feel like I'm way more responsible than you a-- [sighs] -Well, if you under-perform now, you might end up hurt later. -Hurt, nothin'!

I'm hurt enough. Packages landin' on my head. Tea parties.

Dancin' lessons. -What's wrong with her? -You know, a team works much better when we're all giving it 110% instead of, uh… 5%.

-No offense, but you're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask. [TINK! !

! ] Wait, is that mean to say? -[Gangle]: Zooble, help Ragatha with assembly.

I'm gonna go over here now. -Oh, are you KIDDING ME? !

Hey, Gangle! I think the clock's broken. -Is it broken?

Or are we the broken ones? -Ah, great. -How long has this shift really gone on for?

Six hours? 8? 24?

A week? A year? Does time even move in here?

Will we ever go home? Will we ever achieve our dreams? [watch beeps] Oh, wait.

Yeah, that clock's broken. [insects chirping] [gloinks rattling] [door opens] [bell jingles] -Well, that was more info on gloink reproduction than I ever needed to know. [distant equipment beeping] -Can you move?

-Yo, Jax. I, like… hate you. But I don't want you to hate me.

Is that weird? -You're drunk, or something. -Oh, yeah.

[laughs dreamily] -[sighs] How you doin'? -Everything's been -- I'm doing fine. -[sighs] Wish I could say the same.

-Jax! There's dishes back here! You got time to lean, you got time to clean!

[laughs] -Ugh, God. I'm on it! Later, Pomni.

[insects chirping] [inhales deeply] [muffled shrieking] -You, uh… You good? -My comedy mask is usually broken by now. -We're doing another one of these.

Um, is the mask not making you happy? Do you have anybody to talk to? Like, in regards to… your issues.

I'm sure Ragatha would like to help you out. -Heh. Oh, Ragatha.

I love her, but… after a while, it gets kind of hard to tell how genuine she's actually being. -Well, maybe -- -Aaaanyway! We can't spend all night out here talking about our feelings.

We've got work to do! [laughs weakly] -[sighs] All right, I'm clockin' out. This wasn't fun at all.

See you all later. [visor clatters] [bell jingles] [groans] -[Zooble]: You know, when Ragatha gets off, I feel like she might need a designated driver. -Why are you asking me?

I'm closing tonight. -[Zooble]: Oh, no, I meant I'd drive her home. -Oh.

I think she gets off in an hour. -[Zooble]: Okay. I can stick around until then.

[soft ambient static] [quiet, unpleasant music plays] ♪♪ -Hey. You know… I can close for you, if you want. -Huh?

-If you want to get out of here, you can. You don't have to be stuck here alone. I can handle closing.

-Would that… …be okay? -I think so. You should go home and get some rest.

[hopeful music plays] ♪♪ [bell jingles] ♪♪ What a weird day. [insects chirping] [mellow music plays] ♪♪ [music swells] [dramatic, hopeful music plays] ♪♪ [music slows] ♪♪ [HOOOONK! !

] [clock ticking] -All righty, let's get this performance review out of the way. Overall, pretty productive. Made a lot of sales with few customer complaints.

Couldn't help but notice, however, that you seem to have cut your own shift short, went a little kooky, and ran out into oncoming traffic. Now, being in a position of power like this, you cooooould offload the blame to one of your employees and avoid the dock on your score. What do you think?

-No, that was my responsibility. I just… …Cracked under the pressure, I suppose. -Hmm.

Well, that's gonna knock your overall score down to… a B-plus! How's that sound? Speechless.

I can't say I blame you. Not every executive is as forgiving as me. And that's it for the reviews!

You have yourself a nice day. [door creaks] I am such a good -- [glitched, distorted audio] [no audible dialogue] -[Zooble]: Hey, what are you all the way out here for? -[sniffles] I messed everything up.

The mask didn't work. [sniffles] And now, I don't think anybody wants to talk to me anymore. -[Zooble]: I still like talking to you.

Look, the new mask was a bust. So, what? I'm sure we'll find something that works eventually.

-[sniffles] [chuckles softly] I don't deserve a friend like you. -[Zooble]: [chuckles] Well, you've got one. Now, come on over and hang out with the rest of us.

Bring your art, too. I always like seeing what you draw.