GREG NEWS | SISTEMA

Good evening! System. System is a very Brazilian category.

Because it's very common for us to blame everything that goes wrong on the system. If there are long lines at public offices, it's because the system is slow. If you can't reschedule your flight, it's because the system crashed.

If there's a problem with your credit card, the system didn't authorize it. And then there's the classic "I don't have any system", it's like an insight from someone on ayahuasca. "I don't have any system!

" But no. It's an excuse used by the phone company not to cancel your plan. The system is our Old Testament God: either He's absent, or He's trying to screw up your life.

And that's what reminds me of Captain Nascimento's final speech in Elite Squad 2. The system is much bigger than I thought. It's no wonder that drug dealers, police officers, and militias kill so many people in the favelas.

It's no wonder that favelas exist. No wonder so many scandals happen in Brasília, that governments come and go, but corruption continues. To change things, it will take a long time.

The system is fucking tough. "To change things, it will take a long time. Because the system is Windows 98, partner.

" I like that criticizing the "system" in Brazil is a way to please everyone. Because for the left, you say, "yes, the enemy is the financial system. " And for the financial system, the enemy is the tax system, and for the tax system, the enemy is Neymar.

There's always an enemy. But, to be fair, Elite Squad 2 is already an evolution, because in Elite Squad 1, the enemy was the pot smoker. Then it's already in the title: there's another enemy.

Oh, another pot smoker? No. Now the enemy is the system.

Then after it, Padilha changed the enemy again, and now it was the "mechanism. " It's a little more specific than the system. It's like a mechanic who can't fix the problem, and keeps changing the explanation.

In the next movie, the problem with Brazil will be the clutch. "The gearshift is fucking tough, partner. It's going to take a while to replace it.

" But, seriously, it was with an anti-system speech that Bolsonaro was elected in 2018, even after spending 27 years as a congressman of the "centrão". And to make matters worse, in 2022, after spending four years as president, with a majority in the Senate and Congress, he continued to claim he was anti-system. This is from his campaign: The system is an invisible enemy.

The system has arms where the people don't see. The system takes money from the workers. Brazil is not the land of the system.

Yes, the enemy now is not only another one, but also invisible. Yes, the system, he said this, has arms where the people don't see. I really wanted to be able to do a show without making a fisting joke.

But. . .

the system won't let me! Not even 5 minutes and they're already talking about an invisible arm inside the people. My dream is to see this brawl between the invisible arm of the system and the invisible hand of the market.

Unfortunately, I won't see it. Not only because they're invisible, but because the invisible hand of the market is probably massaging the system with a happy ending. This ad, of course, makes no sense.

When Bolsonaro says, he literally said it, "the whole system is against me," that's a lie. Unless he's referring to the digestive system, since he can't even properly chew a shrimp without screwing up. I mean, he can't even chew a shrimp and take a shit.

But intestinal obstruction is not all that Bolsonarism is about. Obstructing, manipulating, modifying, or circumventing systems to gain advantages is something that is at the root of the movement. In fact, it's a striking characteristic of the culture that gave rise to Bolsonaro, as we talked about last week: the culture of the army.

I know it's strange to have "culture" and "army" in the same sentence, but there it seems normal, and even expected, that those in power would hijack the system and put it to work for them. There was a scandal that went unnoticed last year, which was the "marshals party. " Maybe it's because of the name.

"Marshals party" sounds like the worst orgy ever. But what they call the "marshals party" was a scandal that broke out last year. I mean, that didn't break out, but should have, unlike the Rio Centro bomb, which shouldn't have gone off, but did.

Brazilian law states that only a general who has been through a war can rise to the rank of marshal, the highest rank. Since Brazil hasn't fought in a war since 1945, obviously we shouldn't have any living marshals. The only war our generals fought was against erectile dysfunction.

And in that war, in fact, they used chemical weapons! But before World War II, the only war we had entered was the Paraguayan War. The name says it all.

A war clearly falsified! A war that they bought on the border, which young people would call the "Shopee War. " But even without a war, Brazil has a bunch of marshals today.

Unofficially, but marshals in secrecy. Yes, it's the famous free ride in secrecy. Our marshals weren't promoted in rank, but in the system, which is what matters most to them, the payment system.

One of the beneficiaries of this scheme is the convicted torturer Carlos Alberto Brilhante Ustra, whose daughters, Patrícia and Renata, still receive a marshal pension to this day. But he's not the only one: Generals Augusto Heleno and Villas Bôas also retired with marshal pay. They shouldn't receive, in my opinion, not even a marshal potato, let alone a marshal pension.

Bolsonaro supporters don't want to screw over only the pension system. There's also the Unified Health System, better known as SUS. I mean, not all of them want to screw over SUS.

Pazuello, for example, didn't even know what SUS was. How could he want to screw it over? Unless it was a blind date with SUS.

A health glory hole. That's it. But last Wednesday, six men close to Bolsonaro were arrested on suspicion of involvement in a fraud scheme for the falsification of vaccination cards.

Yes, apparently, they were able to tamper with ConecteSUS, the platform where you have your vaccination cards. It sounds a lot like the name of an American state. "I studied in Connectisus.

Connectisus, right next to Massachutsus. " Bolsonaro's record in ConnectiSus. .

. Connectisus is the one for SUS, Connecticut is the one for CUT. The state Connecticut is that platform, that's how they named the state.

. . But ConecteSUS did say that Bolsonaro had taken two doses of Pfizer.

Yes, Pfizer, the one he said could turn you into a crocodile. Which may explain his scaly skin, and his crocodile tears may be due to that. But no.

The fact is that the president left the country with his vaccination card up to date. And after arriving in Orlando, he took refuge in the home of fighter José Aldo, a Bolsonaro supporter who was involved in one of the most memorable episodes in the history of simultaneous interpretation when he spoke about his process of dissimulation: Usually. .

. I knew I was on weight, I had already weighed myself before. But as we were talking there.

. . Usually, I pretend to be dead to fuck the gravedigger's ass.

I knew I was in the right weight, but I like to play dead just to fuck the gravedigger's ass. I'm trying to figure what that means. Can you elaborate on that?

He likes to pretend he's dead just to fuck the gravedigger straight up in the ass. "Can you elaborate on that? ", the interviewer asks.

And then she changes "fuck the gravedigger's ass" to "fuck the gravedigger right in the middle of the asshole". As if the interviewer's doubt was about the region of the anus that he would fuck. "I don't understand: is it the outer edge or the middle?

". There's only one profession worse than being José Aldo's interpreter, and that's being José Aldo's gravedigger. Imagine how sad that is.

You're going to bury the corpse, not only do you have to deal with a corpse, the gravedigger has to hope it's actually a corpse. I wouldn't bury José Aldo, I don't trust a José Aldo corpse. I'm going to have nightmares: fake corpses trying to fuck my ass.

A Brazilian version of The Last of Us. Actually, a triple-X version of The Last of Us. "Excuse me, pal, do you have cordyceps?

" "No, it's candidiasis. It's another fungus. " But we can already imagine how Bolsonaro must have arrived at José Aldo's house in Orlando.

I imagine it like this: I'm not a gravedigger, okay? Although, after that, Bolsonaro said he regretted saying he wasn't a gravedigger. Bolsonaro, when did you feel like you wanted to be a gravedigger?

Was it before or after you slept at Zé Aldo's house? Now, the Federal Police continues to investigate whether Colonel Mauro Cid, Bolsonaro's aide-de-camp, was setting up an escape plan for the president. According to one of the police officers in charge of the investigation, the vaccination card would allow Bolsonaro to travel abroad without being barred by health restrictions.

This also explains the Saudi jewels. Yes, the Saudi jewels were missing from this mess. The Saudi jewels that Cid tried to release from the Federal Revenue Service would ensure that the Bolsonaros could continue to live like rich people, buying a free pass at Disney, which we know has long lines.

So, you get there and give them a little diamond, a little something. It's something that would allow you to cut the line at Space Mountain, right? Without having to loot a public safe.

It's worth remembering here that Cid is specialized in EESN, a military training called Evasion and Escape Support Network. How convenient to choose as an aide-de-camp someone who specializes in escapes. And it also shows how bad military training is.

The guy studied "evasion and escape" for years, and apparently, his great escape plan was to release contraband and forge a vaccination card. And the forgery was discovered, and the contraband was not released. But it's not his fault.

Note that the course he took is not called Evasion and Escape, but Evasion and Escape Support Network. In other words, he didn't learn how to escape, he learned how to provide a support network, to provide emotional comfort to those who are escaping. "Believe in your potential, Jair.

You're going to Orlando, the happiest place on earth. Home is where our heart lives. " To manipulate the SUS system, Cid asked for help from former Major Ailton Barros, a man who was expelled from the army for "repeated behavior," in quotes.

That's the official reason for his expulsion, which is a very funny name: just like "system", "repeated behavior" is quite vague. What kind of behavior? "He was expelled for committing several behaviors".

"Yes, but which ones? " "One day he committed an attitude, and was arrested for his behavior. " Among these repeated behaviors there are accusations of sexual abuse of a woman within a military camp, violence against other military personnel, and humiliation of his subordinates.

As if that weren't enough, he also drove his car towards an officer who approached him for driving at high speed within the military village. Yes, to prove that he wasn't driving dangerously, he showed what it means to drive dangerously. This is what military privilege is: almost hitting another military and not getting shot.

Not even getting arrested. Just expelled from the army. Which is their way of saying, "if you want to run over someone, it's okay, but you have to run over civilians.

Go commit crimes outside. " And the craziest part is that, after being administratively arrested seven times and expelled from the army, the army system considers him dead, even though he's alive. So that his wife can receive a pension as if she were a widow.

Expelled from the army in 2008, Barros has an extensive record in military justice. Since his expulsion, his wife has been receiving a full pension as a widow, currently almost R$ 23,000. Many ex-husbands pretend to be dead to avoid paying alimony.

The military man pretends to be dead so that we pay a pension to his wife. Yes, they're doing what Zé Aldo did, except in this case, the gravedigger is the taxpayer, which is us. But playing possum is a Bolsonarist specialty, except of course for General Heleno, who is clearly pretending to be alive.

Actually, in parenthesis: is Olavo de Carvalho just pretending to be dead for a long time? Is he just very selective about the gravedigger he wants to fuck? Has he not found yet a gravedigger worth coming out of his tomb for?

It might be that. But who is Ailton Barros, besides these repeated behaviors? Well, he was here all along, like the invisible arm of the system, we just didn't see him: I am Bolsonaro's number one.

My president is with me. And for almost 38 years! Bolsonaro's number one, 22001.

First lady, second lady. Hey, Dani! They're cheating on you here, look!

But he's bigger than me. I am Mr Flor and his two wives. To my president, when we are kidding, his "second lady", or "Snow White" , thank you very much and a straight kiss!

He doesn't like kisses. But it's a straight kiss. I am Bolsonaro's number one.

"Straight kiss", "second lady". . .

Bolsonaro said he was married to Ailton. Was he just after the 22,000 pension? Because if you look in the system, Bolsonaro must be listed as a widow.

But Ailton's rap sheet doesn't just include running over and harassment. There's more! Yes, the guy is a true Polishop of repeated behaviors.

In December 2022, Ailton talked to Mauro Cid in the anteroom of the presidency to discuss how to stage a coup to prevent Bolsonaro from leaving power. The scoop was given by journalist Daniela Lima, who read, firsthand, the message sent by Ailton to Mauro. Actually, she read the transcription of an audio, so it's a bit confusing because it's the audio version of a text that is the transcription of an audio, and all of this with CNN adding a Cidade-Alerta-like background music, it was a bit confusing.

So, here's the first thing. It's this statement, either from Freire Gomes or Bolsonaro, by tomorrow afternoon. And also, by tomorrow afternoon, all the acts, all the decrees of the order of operations have to be ready.

How does it have to be? It's not difficult, they have the pen and we have the pen and the strength. Strong arm and friendly hand.

What's the problem? Who's playing outside the four lines? Is it us?

It's not us So we're going to stay within the four lines, to such a point or line? But now what are we? Doomed to not even launch.

Are we going to let it slip away? I think it's Carlos who writes the audios for Ailton. I was a little confused about the geometry, because a coup is four lines, to such a point.

. . Toquinho would say it's easy to make a castle with five or six straight lines, but a coup?

Actually, not even a castle, Toquinho. I used to get mad at this when I was a kid: a castle with five lines? Impossible!

At most, it makes a bunker. Maybe Castelo das Pedras, but that's it. But what Ailton is saying through this concrete poem about lines and points is so unbelievable that it's worth looking at it calmly.

Ailton says that the army commander or Bolsonaro himself need to make a statement authorizing the army to carry out a coup. But it goes further: He continues: So, if necessary, it will be outside the four lines. And then, in this order of operations: in the decrees, in the ordinances that have to be signed, the commander of the Special Operations Brigade of Goiânia has to be given the mission to arrest Alexandre de Moraes, on Sunday, at his house.

Funny, they have to arrest Alexandre de Moraes on Sunday, at his house. So he misses the new episode of Succession. Ailton says that this crucial mission has to be given to the commander of the Special Operations Brigade of Goiânia.

Apparently the key piece of the coup is the BOPE of Goiânia, whose slogan I imagine is "knife in the souari nut". Do you know who was appointed to command this BOPE during the Bolsonaro government? Mauro Cid.

But then: it was Ailton, this guy who drew the geometry of the coup, that Cid called to tamper with the SUS system to make sure Bolsonaro could enter the United States. Then Ailton decided to negotiate and asked Cid for help in convincing the American consulate to grant a visa to another person: councilman Marcelo Siciliano, who was investigated for the murder of Marielle Franco. To defend Siciliano, Ailton said he knew who ordered Marielle's murder because, according to him, he "knew everything about it".

Yes, Bolsonaro's numer one knows who ordered Marielle's murder. And he says this to Bolsonaro's other numer one, who doesn't seem at all surprised by it. And now I hope that, with this, the investigation of Marielle's death will end up in the hands of Alexandre de Moraes, and finally reach some conclusion after years.

Why is it that finally, after years, we might come to a conclusion? Because a city council member really wanted to go to Orlando. This says a lot about Bolsonarism: Bolsonaro's advisors have been arrested, there's a chance that Bolsonaro will be arrested, and the mastermind behind Marielle's murder may be caught, all of this for what?

Because they can't go a year without going to Orlando. The craziest thing about it: they really want to go to Orlando to have lunch at Fogo de Chão, and bump into Silvio Santos. In Bolsonaro's case, he wants to stay in a house in Orlando with a Pluto plush toy in the living room and a bedroom with Minion wallpaper.

Yes! Bolsonarism is this mix of mafia with Mickey. They're not a group of exterminators, they're a group of "exterminions".

Cid and Ailton were caught by Operation Venire, which comes from the Latin sentence "venire contra factum proprium", which means "to act against one's own acts", that is, to say one thing and do another. It's curious, because Bolsonaro usually says one thing and doesn't do a damn thing. But I really want to congratulate the person who names the operations at the Federal Police.

Operation Satyagraha, Operation Pasárgada. I bet there's someone there who studied literature. Send my love to that person.

The beginning of this investigation was almost three years ago, on this day: Did you notice that the angle of the fireworks is different from last time? Get ready, Supreme Court of bandits! Here, it's the people who rule this nation!

Who built this nation! "Did you notice that the angle of the fireworks is different? " Yes, and they still miss the target.

Have they never played Angry Birds? "Now we're missing the fireworks, but it's close. " Their idea was to simulate an attack on the Supreme Court, but they used fireworks, and obviously it didn't work to simulate an attack because fireworks make it look like a celebration.

"If you keep it up, there's going to be a concert by Ivete! " Only dogs get scared of fireworks, folks. Fireworks don't sound like gunfire, no one sees Copacabana's New Year's Eve celebration as an attack on the Atlantic Ocean.

Fireworks are for New Year's, for Corinthians winning, for drugs arriving in the favela. Being from Rio, when I watch this video, I think, "I guess a shipment of cocaine arrived at the Supreme Court. " This was on June 13th, 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic.

The fireworks were just a part of the story. There was a bunch of loonies camping in front of the Supreme Court threatening to invade the building. It was the popular realization of several verbal incitements that Bolsonaro, as president, had been making against the Supreme Court and Congress.

Because of this simulated bombing, the then-Attorney General, the intrepid Augusto Aras, requested an investigation to find out who organized and financed these anti-democratic acts. Aras may not have imagined that the rapporteur for this inquiry would be Justice Alexandre de Moraes, of the Supreme Court, known pejoratively by the right as "Big Alex" and affectionately by the left as. .

. "Big Alex". And this thanks to a famous audio by Roberto Jefferson.

I just got this warrant issued by Vivi's husband, the Supreme Court's dog, Big Alex! Using his position as a Justice to persecute people. If he has private issues, he must handle them privately.

Life shall put us face to face so we can deal privately with this problem. The Supreme Court's dog? Was that why they sent fireworks?

But seriously, folks: am I the only one who hears this audio and perceives a lot of repressed sexual desire? Vivi's husband. .

. Why mention that he is a husband? And that he knows his wife's name?

That's something a stalker would do. Besides, calling someone a "dog" is something that someone who has been disappointed in love would do. I've never been mad at someone and said, "you dog"!

After that festive attack on the Supreme Court, two lines of investigation were opened: one to investigate whether congressmen used public funds to sponsor offensive content production; and another to investigate whether Bolsonarist YouTubers had profited from the dissemination of anti-democratic acts. The Federal Police soon found the connection of these profiles with the "hate office", which operated within the presidency and with the Lieutenant Colonel Mauro Cid himself. That's how he was framed in the investigations, along with Bolsonaro.

And it's not easy to frame both in the same operation, considering that Cid is one meter shorter than Bolsonaro. You need a wide-angle lens to frame them both. It was then that Bolsonaro, like a brash Pincher, began barking at the big dog.

He was already worried about his re-election campaign because his popularity was declining and had stalled in the polls behind Lula. To try to inflame his supporters, or prepare for a future defeat, he started to attack not only his opponents but also the electoral system itself. To reinforce his unsubstantiated claims that electronic voting machines had been rigged in 2018, he leaked a confidential investigation into a hacker attack on the Superior Electoral Court.

There was no evidence of fraud there, but by leaking this investigation, Bolsonaro would have violated functional secrecy. And do you know who helped Bolsonaro in this leaking mission? Once again, Lieutenant Colonel Mauro Cid.

This allowed Big Alex to disclose Cid's phone records and comb through the material. What an irony of fate, isn't it? A bald man combing through evidence.

And it was this combing through that revealed new evidence against Cid. Not only had he allegedly forged the vaccination card of his wife, Gabriella Cid, but also Bolsonaro's and his daughter Laura's. And he did this, apparently, with the help of then-secretary of government of Duque de Caxias, João Carlos de Sousa Brecha, who would have ensured the insertion of false data into the system.

Yes, the guy breached the rules and his name is Brecha. It's even lazy to make a joke. .

. Now he's in jail and maybe seeing the sun rise through a gap. .

. And he will have to maintain Brechian distancing from his own home. Sorry about that.

But there's a detail: do you know why these guys were caught? Because of a system. Specifically, the SUS system.

More specifically, the National Health Data Network system, created by SUS using blockchain technology. Blockchain is a technology by Connectisus. .

. No, it's a database that stores information in a chain using encryption, creating an inviolable history: data can be modified, but the trace of these modifications is saved in the system forever and can be consulted by those who have access, either by Ministry technicians or by the Federal Police, as was the case this time. And yes, blockchain is the technology that made bitcoin and NFT possible, but it's not just for men to blow their money buying a monkey jpeg.

It can also be used to arrest Bolsonarists. And the Federal Police even found more things on Cid's phone: there were indications that he was coordinating a graft scheme in the Planalto Palace to pay the Bolsonaro clan's bills using cash from the corporate card, a card that also paid for snacks and gasoline for Bolsonaro's motorcycle rallies. Cid was like the palace Queiroz.

And the audio recordings with Bolsonaro's voice gathered by the investigation indicate that the president controlled and was aware of everything Cid was doing. "Oh, so that's where aide-de-camp comes from. It's because maybe he received orders.

" Of course, otherwise it would be aide-de-surprises. Imagine how cool it would be if all of this were just a big gift. "Boss, I have a surprise for you: I forged your vaccination card, boss!

And there's more. Open this box, go ahead. They are your Saudi jewels that I released without your consent!

And I also arrested Big Alex for you, boss! Do you swear you didn't realize we were planning this? I was so afraid you would find out".

In other words, the case of Bolsonaro's fake vaccination card is a tasting menu of everything the Bolsonarism is or has done. It gives a little taste of every nefarious element of the movement. It connects denialism with genocide, fake news with corruption, militias with military personnel, Marielle's assassination with the graft scheme, Queiroz with Cid, Orlando with Curicica.

All seasoned with that special sauce of stupidity, the omnipresent ingredient of Bolsonarism, it's their seasoning. And it shows something that is very central to their mentality, which is the belief that the system is something that can be invaded, manipulated and even defrauded to adapt to the reality that only exists inside their little heads. In the case of Carlos, his big head.

That's why they hate the electronic voting system, that's why they hate Connectisus, that's why they hate INPE, Fiocruz, Butantan, Ibama, COAF. They hate systems that they can't corrupt. They hate the part of the system that works.

What is clear is that Bolsonaro's anti-system fight was never against corruption, improbity, lack of morality in politics, and everything else that Bolsonarism use to call "the system". It has always been against rules, laws, and order. And now there is a strong chance that this fight against the system will throw Bolsonaro into the system.

A system from which he always tries to escape. But I bet it will soon welcome him. And I'm referring to the prison system.

And all of this because they underestimated the quality of a specific system. A badass system that not only helped us survive the pandemic years but can now give us the immense joy of seeing this gang in jail: the Unified Health System. This was Greg News!

The system is much bigger than they thought. It's no wonder the Caxias healthcare center was connected with blockchain. It's no wonder blockchain exists.

It's no wonder that governments come and go, but SUS continues to save lives. You thought Zé Gotinha was dead, but he was just pretending to be dead to fuck Bolsonaro's ass. The Unified Health System is badass!