Losing the person who was part of your daily routine is a different kind of pain. Not just losing them emotionally, but losing the version of life that existed with them in it. Every morning felt automatic.
Wake up, grab your phone, text her good morning without even thinking about it. Sometimes you'd FaceTime right after. Sometimes you'd meet her at school, walk together, laugh about nothing, complain about everything.
It wasn't just love. It was habit. It was comfort.
It was routine. And when someone is woven into your day like that, when they're built into the structure of your life for months, losing them doesn't just hurt. It's it disrupts everything.
Especially when that person was your best friend. The one you called whenever something went wrong. The one you didn't hesitate to reach out to.
The moment a problem entered your mind, you already knew who you were calling. Advice, reassurance, ideas. They were your first option every time.
And now you still reach for your phone out of instinct, only to remember you can't call them anymore. You can't text them like before. You can't talk it out the way you used to.
That connection is gone and the silence feels heavier than any argument ever did. Or maybe it was your girlfriend. The person you did everything with, the movies, the random food runs, the plans you assumed would always include her.
A new movie comes out and for a split second your brain says, "Let's go see it together. " Then reality hits. You broke up.
You're blocked. She's no longer accessible. Not online.
Not in real life. Not in the way she used to be. And what nobody really talks about is how your body remembers them, too.
Your body got used to that text tone. Every notification used to feel like it might be her. Your heart would jump without you even realizing why.
Now your phone buzzes and it's just a bill reminder or some random notification that doesn't mean anything. And you sit there staring at your screen, realizing how much changed when she was in your life and how empty the routine feels without her. Your days don't flow the same anymore.
The structure is gone. The familiarity is gone. The person who anchored so many moments is no longer there to hold them together.
And maybe the hardest part of all is accepting that you have to learn how to live life alone again. Not because you want to, but because the routine you built with them no longer exists.
