The truth about finding your spouse

want to show you the process of what it takes to find a spouse and I want to teach it to you in a way where you see it from a logical perspective where the non-emotional just logical perspective so that you can make decisions much more clearly and see it from an approach of like you know you feel more empowered and so that's the intention of the video I want to help Muslims feel more empowered on their search for finding a spouse because it is 100% like it's it's when you feel it's exhausted and tiring and

all that it's because you're not in the right perspective and you're not in the right mindset and you didn't have the tools you needed to actually see this process but what I'm going to teach you here is I want you to feel a lot more empowered in the way you see things and the way you talk to potentials and inshallah that will help in so many ways and so first off I just want to start off with the truth which is there are a bunch there let's say all the people in the world what every

person you meet they're either going to be your person or someone else's spouse and so our job as we're looking and we're um you know on our journey we want to make sure the PE the person you're talking to is not someone else's spouse because we know your person is out there and we don't want to waste time on someone that's not your person and so I I like I'll take I'll show you this here like if this is you here here this is you and let's say this is your person every person you talk

to and this all these dots represent the people in the world but every person you talk to you're going to realize oh they're not my person and you just move on and all we're looking for is one person to be your spouse and so every time you talk to someone you're like okay is this what I want yes or no nope okay as soon as emotions come in and your worthiness and identity comes in of like let's say you you talk to the first person and it doesn't work out and let's say you talk to

the next one next one and then you build up this this um feeling and belief of like it's never going to work for me or like why is it not working for me you're missing the point you're not you're you're out of this mindset it has to be every time you talk to someone okay why didn't it work oh okay because they weren't my person and what did I learn from this okay next what did what did I learn from this and and you keep going and your job is to continue to believe in the

vision of like this is what I want this is the kind of spouse that I want which is the values that I share which is you know a good heart um empathetic Comm communicative whatever that whatever um you have on your wants right so I just wanted to show you this to let you know that every person you talk to is either going to be yours or not yours it's very black and white as soon as we get into this like oh like they're they kind of look like mine but they're not and the thing

is a lot of people try to make the person that's not theirs they try their best to make them look like this is my person and now you're going to ask me like okay well how do I know if this is going to be my person or someone else is and and and this is where the work of being your best authentic self is the best screening tool you have and the best uh way to to see if you're living your best authentic self is are you living the values that you have right now and

the way I would like for you to work on is it's a list this is the work right is to list out all your values the top five values that you have and the priorities that you have right so as an example I'll give you an example right so if my values are Faith uh growth and um what's up serving and compassion and fun those are my values how do I do I actually live that on my day-to-day life on my basis right because what what why I'm saying this is when you are living this

version of your life and you're happy with your life and you feel congruent you feel aligned with the way you you're being every time you talk to someone you're going to see clearly does this person fit into my life into the life that I would like and you're coming from a full cup where you feel like you are fully like you're good like you feel happy you love your life and you're ready to just add some someone who you think would be a good idea to you know to be a partner with now what happens

is when you don't know your values and your priorities and you're not living it you're going to come from an empty uh empty cup and you're G kind of you're going to try to fill that empty cup with people who are not your people and you're going to like try to make someone your person just for the sake of partnership or whatever just for the sake of having someone and it's it's gets it gets really messy it gets really messy and what people need to understand is when you are grounded and aligned with who you're

being it becomes so much easier to to screen if someone is for you or not because you're coming at it from a very business perspective very like do I want this in my life or not right so for as an example right let's say you have a bunch of um you have some wants and you're talking to the next person and and the person has some wants your only job is to see okay let me see if this is going to work let me see if this could work do we have our wants aligned okay

this is my want this is uh their wants do they match do they have similarities is this something that I can that I can see in my life that I can fit into like they can fit into my life right so um and that I'm I'm talking about lifestyle like I'm talking about the way they live the way they they think the way all of this it I'm not saying they have to be the same but I'm saying if you are someone who is looking uh for a partner that you can like you can have

um empathetic understanding and compassion with do they have that and if they're looking for something that like you don't want you all you have to do is be like okay clearly we don't we don't have the same wants all good move on to the next thing and you have to approach it from a very like clear perspective um what happens also another thing I need to add when you're coming from an empty cup infatuation is very uh easy to it's very easy to attach to people when your your life is not that exciting and so

when you're either bored or you're you kind of like you're feeling like I'm so behind like I need I need to find someone and like I need this to to feel better you're going to fill it with someone that you're G you're going to try to make that person someone that you um that you you want to be with when you really don't like you you know clearly you don't align so your brain's going to infatuate and attach to that image of who who you think they are and it's not it's not that right so

going back to how to think about it right you when you're you know for the next let's say next couple of years you're going to meet a couple people a lot of people and you're going to keep practicing and you're going to keep practicing with with the intention of okay I want to see if this is going to be my spouse or not let me see okay they have this this and this is this something I want in my life what we're not focused on because this is when you're operating from your ego is how

can I make sure they like me why don't they like me enough why did they reject me none of that we there's none of that as soon as that enters the chat you are done you're screwed cuz you're now you're up in your emotions you're trying to figure out why don't people like you why I was single all of that gets in the way and so then you you become attached to things that you don't need to be attached to and all of this is a lot more possible when you're focused on the vision the

vision is I want this kind of marriage and I know I'm the person that can make it happen all I need is a person with a good heart and a good empathetic soul and I'm attracted to them physically and I can make it work so let me see what's out there and it doesn't matter how old you are how none of that matters because why is that because I've worked with people personally where they been they got married in their 40s 50s even there's 50s I I saw 50s and right and more but my point

here is it doesn't matter um you have to try to get the best uh clear image of of who you're trying to get to too like and what I would recommend for people for anyone watching this is write out what is it that you're looking for in a way that you fill up like four pages no Spa no double space of like draw out exactly what you're looking for and then underline specifically what must be there and when you underline what what must be there your brain starts looking for that and you're on a mission

you're on a business mission to see who would like to be my husband who not would like who do I want to be my wife or my husband and as soon as you have this more business perspective it's so much easier to go about this process exhaustion only happens when things are taken personally and that's what people don't get people are expecting and already projecting ahead of time like uh I don't know if this is going to work or or like or all the men I don't know if there's one man out there for me

or one woman out there for me that I would like that's specific for me and as soon as you're thinking that and that's what you're expecting that's all you're going to get and so we have to clean out all of that mindset work and also I have a lot of um videos on my YouTube you can you can watch on like self-concept and and other things but and um also yeah there's just a lot of data on my Instagram and all of that that can help you clear out your mind when it comes to what

you want in your life and how to uh think about in a very business perspective so remember two things right every person you talk to is either your person or not your person period as soon as you feel yourself trying to be like uh do should I make them like they have like a lot of things but I just I don't want to deal and the question I want you to ask yourself is do I want to be with this or would I rather be single and answering it from a place of I love being

single being single is not a problem because that's how you get to make your decisions where you're you have a full cup and you're asking yourself do I want this in my life or not and if not then you move on to the next one and you're not wasting any time and so this becomes let me show you here okay this is when you're born this is like the afterlife when you die whenever that is but on your way as you're getting to know you're going to meet people you're going to meet people and every

single step you're taking you are seeing it as what did I learn to improve me as a person what is one thing that I can alter so that I don't attract this kind of person what is one thing I can do to work on my boundaries to work on my communication to work on every single step you make is making you get closer to the person that you want and this is required for you to figure out like okay now I get now I get where my my where my limiting beliefs are now I get

where I'm kind of feeling insecure and then you get to this person and I've helped people this is what I help people with right like help helping them see like what are you what is stopping you from you know moving on to the next person or even like What's blocking you from getting from here to here and it's usually a lot of limiting beliefs and so that's that's kind of what it is right it it is actually very simple and I know people argue with me like LMA it's not that simple it's like what if

Allah doesn't have it written for you it is that's like saying right like let's say you have a a dream of opening a a nice restaurant okay and you want to open a nice restaurant you want to make it like this nice Hal restaurant that everyone comes to and you open and how do you know if it's written for you well you work on it until you get there and if it's going to fail like a 100,000 times until you make it that successful thing that you want marriage is a skill getting to to to

getting to a point where you you finally like realize I am so comfortable with myself and I'm comfortable with who I let into my life and I have the capacity to receive and let love in and I can know how to handle it all this that is a skill that people can learn and do not fall into this trap of like what if it's not B for me you will never know that until you die so if you can you you can either spend this time learning how to grow and evolve and become that best

version of yourself to attract the person that you want or you can just spend the rest of your life thinking I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know if it's meant for me and but I I really don't want that for anyone I think the Muslim needs a lot of help when it comes to how to think about this stuff and you'll be surprised how fast it can come because here's the thing when you work on your beliefs your Dua become so much stronger and when you becomes when your Dua become so much

more convict like you're so convicted in Allah's powers and of what he can make possible that's when that's when the when the magic happens okay so that's that's pretty much it and there's so much more to talk about but I'm just going to release a couple videos at a time and so um if you want to learn more you can always follow me on Instagram and I ALS I also offer one-on-one coaching and also I have a group coach uh program coming up which where I help a lot of people with their mindset and how

to get to the spouse that you're looking for so you can sign up in my um my website I'll put it in the description and I'll see you in the next video