6 Signs He Was Using You (But You Were Blind)

Have You Ever Loved Someone with all your heart only to realize later that you were just a piece in their game many people especially those in their 50s and Beyond find themselves in relationships where they give everything only to receive nothing real in return why does this happen because love makes us see things through rose-colored glasses when we care about someone we tend to ignore red flags and the people who take advantage of this are often very skilled at hiding their true intentions today we're going to talk about six clear signs that a man was

using you but you were blind to it if you've ever found yourself questioning whether a relationship was genuine this video will help you recognize the patterns to make it even clearer let's look at Linda's story Linda is 55 years old and recently divorced after 25 years of marriage when she met Michael a charming and confident man she felt like she had a second chance love he said all the right things made her feel special and for the first time in years she was excited about the future but slowly small things didn't add up certain moments

made her pause but she brushed them aside only later did she realize the truth Michael wasn't in love with her he was only in love with what she could offer him now let's break down the six signs that reveal whether a man is truly with you or just using you Linda had always been a kind and giving person after her divorce she wasn't sure if she would ever find love again 25 years of marriage had made her feel secure even though the love had faded long ago now at 55 she was stepping into the world

of dating for the first time in decades that's when she met Michael Michael was 58 tall well-dressed and knew exactly how to make a woman feel special they met at a coffee shop when he offered to buy her a drink after overhearing her order he made small talk effortlessly asking about her favorite books her career and even her childhood unlike many men she had met online Michael seemed genuinely interested in her life you're fascinating he said smiling I haven't met someone as real as you in a long time Linda blushed it had been years since

anyone had looked at her like that and their connection grew quickly within the first few weeks Michael was calling her every day sending good morning texts and making her laugh with stories about his life he told her he had been married twice but never found someone who truly understood him you're different Linda he said one evening over dinner you make me feel at peace Linda felt lucky she had spent years taking care of others her ex-husband her children even her co-workers now someone was taking care of her but there were little things that didn't quite

make sense Michael was always full of compliments yet he rarely asked about her feelings when they made plans he often changed them at the last last minute and while he seemed so generous with his words he wasn't the same with his actions at first Linda ignored these small concerns after all no one is perfect but as time went on patterns began to form then came the moment that made her stop and wonder one evening Michael showed up at her house unexpectedly he looked frustrated inside as he sat down I hate to ask this he said

rubbing his forehead but I'm in a tough spot right now my business deal didn't go go through and I need a little help to get back on track just something temporary Linda hesitated she wanted to help him he had been so wonderful to her so understanding but something about the way he asked felt rehearsed still she told herself that relationships were about support so she gave him a small loan days turned into weeks and she started noticing more things Michael would disappear for long periods then reappear as if nothing had happened he avoided conversations about

the future and though he made big promises nothing ever came from them Linda's heart told her she had found love but her mind started whispering a different truth it wasn't until months later that she finally saw the situation for what it really was Michael never loved her he loved what she gave him her attention her time her kindness and yes even her financial support and she wasn't the only woman he had done this to Linda had been blind to the truth but now she saw it clear clearly and as she looked back she realized there

had been signs all along the six signs that a man is using you let's break them down sign one he only reaches out when he needs something at first everything felt perfect Michael was attentive affectionate and always knew the right things to say he would send Linda sweet good morning texts check in throughout the day and call her every night before bed it had been years since Linda had felt this kind of attention from a man but slowly something didn't feel right Linda started noticing a pattern whenever Michael was extra affectionate there was always a

request coming one evening after a particularly stressful day she was relieved to see his name pop up on her phone hey beautiful he said how was your day Linda smiled it was okay just exhausting work has been overwhelming Michael sighed dramatically I get it life can be stressful then he hesitated before adding actually I was going to ask could you do me a favor that night it was something small picking up a package for him a week later another favor then a bigger request I hate to ask but I'm in a bit of a tight

spot financially my paycheck is delayed and I just need a little help until next week at First Linda didn't think much of it after all relationships are about supporting each other each other right but then she started noticing the pattern when Michael needed something whether it was money a ride or even just emotional support he was the most loving attentive man in the world but when Lindon needed him silence one night after a particularly rough day she texted him hoping for a little Comfort hours passed no response she went to bed feeling alone the next

morning she checked her phone still nothing then around noon Michael finally texted hey sorry crazy night hope you're okay no explanation no concern Linda felt a knot in her stomach but she brushed it aside maybe he was really busy maybe she was overthinking then a few days later another message hey babe I've been thinking about you hope you're having a great day Linda felt relieved maybe she had been too hard on him then came the second message by the way do you think you could help me out with something and that's when it hit her

Michael wasn't in love with her he was in love with what she could give him the lesson a man who truly cares about you will be there even when he doesn't need anything from you if his affection disappears The Moment he gets what he wants he's not in love he's is just using you true love is about giving and receiving not taking and taking if you feel like you're always the one giving while he only reaches out when it benefits him it's time to take a step back and ask yourself Is This Love or is

this convenience because real love doesn't come with conditions and you deserve someone who is there for you not just when they need something but because they genuinely care sign two he never introduces you to his friends or family in every serious relationship there comes a point when you meet the people who matter most to your partner family friends maybe even co-workers when a man truly cares about you he wants to share his life with you and that includes introducing you to the important people in it but with Michael that moment never came at first Linda

didn't think much of it they had been dating for 3 months when she first asked so when do I get to meet your friends Michael smiled but his answer was vague oh soon we should all go out one night but that night never came months passed and Linda started noticing a pattern whenever they went out Michael picked places far from his usual Hangouts he never invited her to any social Gatherings he rarely even mentioned his family one evening as they were having dinner Michael's phone buzzed on the table the name flashed on the screen Mark

best friend Linda glanced at him aren't you going to answer Michael quickly silenced the phone now I'll call him back later Linda hesitated you talk about Mark all the time I'd love to meet him Michael sighed look I just like to keep my personal life separate my friends they wouldn't really understand us a strange feeling settled in Linda's stomach but she didn't push it after all wasn't it normal for some people to take their time before introducing a partner then one night everything became clear Linda was out shopping when she saw Michael at a restaurant

laughing with a group of people one of them was a woman Linda didn't want to assume the worst so she waited until they were alone that night she asked who were you with earlier Michael's face tensed just some old friends Linda nodded slowly you know I've been waiting to meet your friends for months Michael S dramatically why does it even matter does meeting my friend somehow prove my feelings for you and just like that he made her feel like she was the one being unreasonable that night Linda lay awake thinking and then the truth hit

her Michael wasn't keeping his personal life separate he was keeping her separate she wasn't a part of his world she was just someone he spent time with when it was convenient for him the lesson when a man truly loves you he will want to include you in his life he won't make excuses he won't keep you hidden if he avoids introducing you to his family and friends it's because he doesn't see you as a permanent part of his life real love is about integration not isolation and if a man is keeping you a secret you

have to ask yourself why because the answer is usually something you already know deep down sign three he manipul you with guilt a healthy relationship is built on honesty open communication and mutual understanding but when a man constantly makes you feel guilty for expressing your feelings that's not love it's manipulation Linda didn't realize this at first whenever she had a concern Michael had a way of twisting the situation until she was the one apologizing one evening after he canceled their plans for the third time in a row she finally spoke up I was really looking

forward to tonight she said trying to keep her voice calm it feels like you're always too busy Michael sighed heavily wow I can't believe you'd say that do you even know how much stress I'm under work has been exhausting and I was really hoping you'd be the one person who understood Linda immediately felt bad of course I understand she said quickly I just I miss spending time with you Michael shook his head I don't need pressure right now I need support I thought you were different from my ex and just like that Linda felt guilty

for even bringing it up this wasn't the first time a few weeks later she noticed Michael had been distant he wasn't calling as often and his text had become short and dismissive finally she worked up the courage to ask is something wrong you seem a little distant lately Michael scoffed so now I have to explain myself every second of the day why can't you just trust me Linda felt the familiar knot in her stomach she hadn't accused him of anything she had simply wanted reassurance but somehow he made her feel like she was being unreasonable

and so she apologized again but then something happened that made Linda start to see things differently one evening she was having a rough day work had been exhausting and she just needed someone to talk to so she called Michael he answered sounding irritated what's wrong Linda hesitated I just had a tough day I needed to talk Michael sighed look I can't deal with this right now you're always so emotional Linda froze always so emotional she had spent months walking on eggshells making sure she didn't say the wrong thing trying to be the perfect girlfriend who

never caused problems and and yet the moment she needed support she was suddenly too much to handle that night Linda had a realization Michael never actually listened to her feelings he just made sure his feelings always came first a lesson a real man won't make you feel guilty for having emotions he won't twist your words to make himself look like the victim if every time you express a concern you end up apologizing you are not in a loving relation relationship you are in a manipulative cycle a healthy partner will listen communicate and validate your feelings

if he always turns things around to make you feel bad it's time to ask yourself are you in a relationship or are you being controlled because love should make you feel safe not silenced sign for he doesn't really listen to you a man who truly cares about you will listen not just to respond but to understand he will remember the little things ask about your feelings and make an effort to connect with you on a deeper level Michael however was different at first Linda didn't notice it he was Charming engaging and always seemed interested in

their conversations But as time went on she started realizing that Michael wasn't really listening he was just waiting for his turn to talk one evening they were sitting at a cafe when Linda started reminiscing about her childhood you know she said smiling one of my favorite memories is going to the beach with my dad at Sunrise we would collect seashells and he always told me that each one had its own little story Michael nodded absent-mindedly that's nice speaking of stories did I tell you about the time I went deep sea fishing in Florida and just

like that the conversation shifted completely at first Linda brushed it off maybe he just got excited but then it kept happening she told him about her favorite book weeks later when she mentioned it again he acted like he had never heard of it she shared her dream of traveling to Greece a month later when she brought it up he looked confused you want to go to Greece that's the first time I've heard that it wasn't the first time one night after months of noticing this pattern Linda decided to test something she told Michael I've always

wanted to take a cooking class it's been a dream of mine for years a few weeks later she casually mentioned I was thinking of signing up for that cooking class I told you about Michael blinked cooking class since when do you want to take a cooking class that's when Linda finally saw the truth Michael never really listened he pretended to listen he nodded he smiled but he never actually absorbed what she said and yet when it came to his needs he remembered every detail he remembered exactly when his bills were due he remembered exactly how

she could help him with his errands he remembered exactly when he needed emotional support but when it came to her he never remembered because he never truly cared the lesson a man who loves you will pay attention not just to your words but to your emotions he will remember the little things because they matter to you he will ask about your passions your dreams your worries not because he has to but because he wants to if you constantly feel like your words go unheard if your thoughts and feelings seem to disappear Into Thin Air it's

time to ask yourself are you in a relationship or are you just background noise in someone else's life because love isn't just about being present it's about being present in the moments that matter sign five he makes big promises but never follows through love is about actions not just words a man who truly cares about you will follow through on his promises because he values your trust but when a man constantly makes big commitments and never delivers it's a sign that he's just telling you what you want to hear Michael was a master of making

promises we should go to Italy together he told Linda one night I've always wanted to explore Europe with someone special Linda's heart soared she had always dreamed of visiting Italy walking through the streets of Rome and enjoying coffee in a little cafe overlooking the canals of Venice the next day she started looking at flights she even found a great deal and excitedly showed it to Michael his response a forced smile oh yeah that would be amazing but maybe we should wait until things settle down a bit Linda brushed it off life was unpredictable and timing

wasn't always perfect but then it kept happening Michael promised to take her on a weekend getaway he canceled at the last minute he promised to help her fix her broken kitchen in sink he never showed up he promised to introduce her to his sister he always had an excuse every time Linda reminded him of his words he had a response ready I really want to babe but things are crazy right now trust me it'll happen soon I didn't forget I've just been overwhelmed one evening they were sitting on the couch when he sighed dramatically I

hate that we haven't been able to do all the things we planned but once work calms down I swear I'm going to make it up to you and just like that Linda felt hopeful again but weeks passed then months and nothing ever changed one day as she was sitting alone in her kitchen she started thinking about all the promises Michael had made and then a painful realization hit her Michael never intended to keep those promises he just said what he needed to say in the moment to keep her happy to keep her waiting because as

long as she was waiting she wouldn't leave the lesson a man who loves you won't just talk about the future he will build it with you if he keeps making promises but never follows through pay attention to his actions not his words because a man who constantly postpones his commitments isn't busy he just doesn't prioritize you and love should never feel like waiting for something that will never happen sign six he loves what you do for him not who you are love should be built on neut respect and appreciation for who a person truly is

but when a man is only with you because of what you provide your time your effort your emotional support or even your financial help that's not love that's convenience b d Linda had always been a giver she loved taking care of people making their lives easier and supporting them however she could when she was married she spent years putting her husband's needs before her own and now with Michael she had unknowingly fallen into the same p pattern At first she thought Michael appreciated her kindness he would say things like you're amazing no one has ever

been there for me like you have you're such a blessing in my life I don't know what i' do without you but over time Linda started wondering did Michael love her for who she was or just for what she did for him it started with the small things when Michael was sick she was the one who brought him soup checked in on him and made sure he was comfortable when he had a stressful day at work she was the one who listened for hours offering encouragement and reassurance when he needed help with something whether it

was fixing a problem handling a bill or giving advice to Linda was always there but when she needed something Michael was too busy she remembered the time she had a terrible headache and asked if he could pick up some medicine on his way over he sighed I've had a long day can't you just take something at home or the time she was going through a tough period at work and needed someone to talk to I don't know what to tell you he had said barely looking up from his phone you're strong you'll figure it out

one day a friend of Linda's asked a question that changed everything what would happen if you stopped giving if you stopped helping him stopped supporting him stop making his life easier would he still want to be with you Linda had never thought about that before at night she imagined what would happen if she didn't reply to his messages immediately if she didn't check on him every time he was feeling down if she didn't always say yes when he needed something and suddenly she knew the answer Michael wasn't in love with her he was in love

with her effort her availability her support her emotional labor and the moment she stopped giving he would have no reason to stay a week later Linda decided to put it to the test for once she didn't text first she didn't check in on him she didn't go out of her way to do things for him and guess what Michael barely noticed days passed and he didn't ask how she was doing he didn't reach out just to see how her day was going then finally he called her but not to ask about her I've had the

worst week he groaned everything is going wrong can we meet up I just need someone to talk to and that was when Linda saw the truth Michael wasn't with her because he loved her he was with her because she made his life easier in the lesson a man who truly loves you will love you for who you are not just for what you provide love should be a partnership not a one-sided effort if a man only appreciates you when you're doing things for him but disappears when you need something in return then you're not in

a relationship you're in a transactional Arrangement and you deserve better you deserve a man who loves you your heart your mind your dreams not just what you can offer because love isn't about owing someone it's about choosing someone every single day final thoughts you deserve more than being used if any of these sick signs sound familiar it's time to face the truth he was never really in love with you he was in love with what you gave him and that is not the kind of love you deserve Linda had to learn this lesson the hard

way she had spent months giving her heart her time and her energy to a man who only saw her as a source of convenience but when she finally stepped back and looked at the reality of their relationship everything became painfully clear she was always available for him but he was rarely available for her she made his life easier but he made her life harder she listened to him cared for him supported him but when she needed support he was too busy and yet for so long she had convinced herself that this was normal that this

was how love worked it wasn't until she walked away that she realized real love doesn't feel one-sided love should never feel like you're begging for attention a man who truly loves you will show up for you even when he doesn't need anything in return He introduce you to the people who matter to him because he's proud to have you in his life listen to you not just to respond but to understand follow through on his promises because your trust matters to him love you for who you are not just for what you give if a

man only makes an effort when he wants something if he only says the right words but never backs them up with actions if he makes you feel guilty for having emotions then you have to ask yourself Is This Love or is this manipulation it's never too late to walk away Linda wasted months trying to convince herself that Michael cared but deep down she had always known something was wrong she had just been too afraid to admit it because admitting it meant starting over and starting over is scary but here's the truth walking away from the

wrong person is the first step to finding the right one if you recognize these signs in your relationship don't ignore them don't tell yourself that things will change if you just try harder give more or wait a little longer because the right person he won't need to be convinced to treat you right you deserve real love not half effort love not love with conditions not love that only exists when it's convenient for him but real consistent genuine love so if you've ever been in a relationship like this I want to hear from you what was

the moment you realized he was just using you share your story in the comments because your experience could help someone else see the truth before it's too late and remember love should never feel like a guessing game when it's real you'll know [Music]