Joe Rogan Experience #1929 - Louis CK

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day I never thought about yeah there's a lot of [ __ ] going on over there the thing in the front is weird what this thing right here what is that oh that's a piece of art that's um uh that comes from um be be be crap on uh Instagram be is uh a digital artist he puts up a new piece of digital art every day and he came in to do the podcast and he gave us

this thing that's that's uh Elon Musk if he was jacked like once genetic engineering comes along I'm just going to grab a paper towel oh okay glasses are brutal I wear reading glasses when I try to like look at my phone in the morning and I'm like Jesus [ __ ] Christ every day I'm going a little Blinder yes you are every day just like that's just the way it goes yeah I mean they're just such intricate little machines and they're organic so they just start to soften on you you know I had a guy

in the other day balal Muhammad he's UFC fighter who's had a detached retina and a detached uh lens on his other eye on both eyes it's like you're talking to people like that and the game they're playing is you know you're punching people in the face and a lot of times thumbs go in the eyes cuz UFC gloves have open fingers soas guys accidentally get poked in the eye m [ __ ] terrifying that's the reason I wouldn't ever I mean there's a lot of reasons I wouldn't be a pro fighter but that's it now

if it wasn't for the eyes I'd be all over it they can kind of fix him a little bit you remember when sugaray Leonard had a detached retina and he retired from the sport every's like holy [ __ ] and then he came back MH and everybody back I think he needed the money but he I think he also needed the Thrills yeah it must be those guys retire so young and then was left a huge expanse of life ahead of you not just that it's like the things that you've looked forward to are these

enormous events where you're in your underwear and you're walking out in front of this gigantic group of people that's there to watch you slam your fist into someone's face well and you've worked up to it too all the training and the getting ready the challenging someone that's setting the fight and where it is in your career and who you know are you are you challenging are you are you defending and so it's like a year it fight's like a year of your life I mean in boxing UFC they fight more often right I guess depends

depends on the fighter depends on you know what stage they are in their career yeah yeah but the guys like to fight more often just to stay comfortable right because otherwise the the moment's so big like when you have more fights like you can relax and you just yeah it's more I remember Ali describing somebody asked him does he get nervous he's a he was a great guy because he wasn't a bullshitter like he bullshitted when it was time to sell the fight but whenever anybody asked him things like that he was on honest somebody

asked him do you get nervous he said every fight I get really nervous when I come out to the ring I feel like I can't do this and that guy's huge and what why did I why did I come here yeah and um but then the bell rings and as soon as I start moving as soon as it becomes about the work I go well this is what I do yeah and then what takes over is just routine it's what I do and then he's just serious you know I always felt like the worst part

was before the fight started yeah the worst part was like standing there getting ready before the fight started imagine but then once the fight starts it's on you're on Instinct like sort of normal you stand up is like I [ __ ] hate waiting to go on stage yeah it's the worst thing and I get a little if there's a stuff going on I get irritated if the opener's going over a little or you want a drink you want to this you want a that give me something to distract myself yes yeah it's bad news

yeah but yeah I could see why guys like that need to come back but it's good to be able to live your life where that's not Norm that's not what you're what you need it's a gigantic shift though in the way you view the world you have to view the world as not like these big events that you're planning for every 3 to six months but instead just life yes that's what I've tried to do in the last few years and um this I'm about to end this tour and then I'm I'm going to take

a year off I think 100% off yeah no no stage anywhere that's great that's the plan I think that there's a there there's a balance between performing a lot and perspective like and one of the things that happens to guys when they perform too much is that they talk about things that are related to their life as a traveling comedian it's all air travel and flights and hotels and restaurants and and so much of their material revolves around this very narrow window of existence yes that's true and but also you put all this pressure on

performance that it's got to fix all your life and it's not going to right but if you live a fuller life then then comedy has the place it should which is like it's a weird thing to do it should always be weird and it should always be like man I can't believe I'm doing this yeah if your life is normal then comedy is a gas it's a it's a jolt and inside of it you you know for me you do work you're working in there and there's routine and there's you know yeah uh but it

should stay special you know well you're you're at a point right now like you're ready to do this special which is the this thing that you're going to live stream yeah in Madison Square Garden which is [ __ ] super exciting I love it yeah thanks January 28th it's my I'm going back to the Garden I used to play there all the time haven't played there in a number of years I didn't know come back there it is yeah and so we put the sale Jo sale I I I wrote to you because I I

wanted to do it in the round yeah I never did it that way and uh so I asked you if it was good you said it was really fun that way so fun uh and then I found out that it costs twice as much because you got a light from two sides and also you need four you need to be able to see the guy from four angles so you need more cameras right and then we sold the thing out like we sold 10,000 tickets on the first day it's sold out now it's 18,000 seats

it's the most people I've all ever have I mean I'm doing this 38 years that'll be the biggest audience I ever played for and so it cost so much money though to put the cameras in there yeah for the Jumbotron and then I thought just let's live stream it because it's actually only costing a little bit you know there's not that much more because we already have all the [ __ ] in there right right so yeah so we're going to live stream it on my website you just go and you it's like 25 bucks

and that's awesome we keep it up there it's a live event it's not a special so much it's a live event so it's all new material since my last special and it'll be um up till the 17th I think of February then we take it down and then it'll go away and then in April I'll put out a special of the same material that I already shot at at the Dolby Theater in LA I shot a special there oh really when did you shoot that uh earlier this month oh okay yeah it was really good

that's a great idea I love that yeah that's like the album that's like the album right right and that that'll be the same as every special I've ever done like 10 bucks and you can download it and all that stuff and keep it but this one is only for streaming and a short limited time Chris Rock is doing a live special too on Netflix right he's going to film it and it'll stream live on Netflix is that what they're going to do it for the first time yeah they never live streamed anything so that he's

their first one and that's cool for him and it'll be March I think he's doing is in Atlanta I've heard nothing but good things about his new set yeah he's well he's been I think holding back a little bit so this I think this tour has been great for him yeah this yeah I think this is going to be really great I'm excited I'm excited for his show I'm excited for comedy right now yeah comedy is getting it's amazing picking up steam again well it's also it's like people are really longing for it because there's

so much political correct [ __ ] this woke [ __ ] what you can and can't say and so many people feel upset about it and that like they don't know what to say because they can't talk at work or they get fired they can't talk amongst their Community or they get shamed they don't they like and then you can go see someone talk on stage and like yeah yes and that's what comedy always was it's always been that yeah and it's to me everything that's happened has been natural it's like normal that comedy has

to be defended few years yeah like when when everybody's being cool like when the world is kind of cool like it was up until maybe 2015 or so like it's just kind of cool comedy is cool and every you know but then when things get shitty in in terms of this sort of thing people being more divided and unable to uh um Express themselves comedy gets more important but also starts getting attacked and we have to defend it that's all yeah I mean by just doing it that's all I don't I don't get into defending

it by saying [ __ ] these people it just means you have to keep doing it at the same discipline right and doing it the same way yeah yeah don't pull back no just keep doing it and folks will show up uh and love it well that's one of the things I really loved about your last special it was like 100% a Louis CK special there wasn't you didn't back off of anything like that whole thing that you you did uh uh at the end the the the [ __ ] thing was so funny man

it's so funny it's such a good bit Yeah but today's straight manner fact yes it's so funny it's so good cuz it's so like ah he's going there you know but it was really well thought out my audiences are really diverse I mean in terms of like I get young people and some kind of like Progressive looking people I get men and women in all Races mostly white but you know some cities I get more but uh but I tested it in front of so many people that bit and they every kind of person laughed

at it every the only people that got offended by it were people like in the South or more kind of like red State people because when I said straight man are [ __ ] I'm talking about you know Brooklyn twinks and what right right right they don't know they think I'm talking about them hey you call you know so they didn't they missed it I thought I would be offending Progressive young kids but they they for them it was a relief because it's about them and they feel that way in real life people like beinged

at they like their Community to like when you do good jokes about black people not like a white perspective about being alienated from them but if you do a good joke about Black Culture or Chinese culture Jewish culture the people in those groups laugh cuz they're in the show and they know their culture as well as anybody does you know yeah so that's always been the case but people just you know I mean it never really changed all the and the way I figured it was there was no point in backing down and changing because

what do you want out of life like what maybe I could have like I already had a crazy Heyday where the kind of Comedy I do which is just flagrant fowls just [ __ ] just bad bad behavior throughout right for a while that was like considered the greatest thing and people were just like this is great the mainstream loved it everybody loved it right had that for years that success so I figured if if I have to do it and I start getting hated for it or even just business goes down I have to

take some heat from the sides so what that's not a lot to ask of me considering what I've enjoyed so if my I it was like that before when I first started I was gross and a lot of people stayed away from me and then I had a hay day and I'm like it's back to go it's time to go back into the underground it's time to go back into just like like I don't get mentioned in the big list for a lot of reasons but also for the comedy But but so it's okay it's

acceptable to me if it if if it's not as popular anymore I'm still popular but that's what's [ __ ] it is as popular that's the that's the lists are nonsense the lists are all non-binary people made a [ __ ] special in a coffee shop I guess and and by the way let them have the list for a while that's fine too um let you know that's that has never meant much the the mistake is when you're on it you go like yeah right exactly you know when you're on when you're on the lists

and you're at the Red Carpet and stuff you it's like playing Blackjack and you start getting good cards and you think you're good at black check right you're like see I know what to no you just it's an arbitrary thing that has its own reasons for being and sometimes you get benefit for it yeah and sometimes you don't and that's who gives a [ __ ] but like saying about your hey day I don't I don't think I think you're right there I just like look you sold out 10,000 tickets in a day like what

the [ __ ] are you talking about well I I one time I did it five times in a year I bet you could do it five times in a year I don't think it's I think probably that one was it for for to me and also I don't want to do five shows of the guard well you don't going to have to if you don't want to but I bet you could yeah supp I bet you could well I people [ __ ] love comedy right now yeah they do I mean we're having a

great time it's it's a lot of fun right now it's a [ __ ] ball I have no concerns on on stage about yeah is this going to be they're coming to see you yes by the way I like I like the other thing is that this time was good for comedy the time of people getting their [ __ ] a little tighter because like I was listening to Patrice last night with my opener um Ariel I just three names for some reason [ __ ] Ariel Isaac Norman she was we worked together in New

Orleans we we did a show mobile and we drove to New Orleans and I was playing for her patrice's album Mr P and uh Patrice O'Neal and he does a couple of Bits And he says to the crowd you guys are laughing that's good but you're not all laughing and that's good I don't want you all to laugh if everybody's laughing it's not fun you need somebody in here going like that's not that's not okay and I believe that like that's it actually makes comedy better if it has an adverse if you have push back

because and the thing the problem that some comedians have is they get hurt they get their feelings hurt if someone doesn't like the joke they feel that it's oh you don't like me and then they back away from anything that makes them feel like that yeah but if you can be like here's a terrible thing and then and the audience goes like Oh and you just hear you don't get emotionally involved you hear the uh and you go okay I can either go around it or I can go into it we can go further into

this there's some there's potential in that horrible feeling for another laugh past it that they've they've never experienced right cuz usually when an audience shows I don't want to hear that people back away but if you stay with I'm still talking about it I'm still talking I'm still your friend like I'm not going [ __ ] you people you know that thing that's another cop out right [ __ ] you you [ __ ] you just go okay you didn't like it well here's a little more about it at and if you get them like

that and then you can I remember once I was in Houston and and there was the Houston Improv and there's it's pretty much a black club like it's mostly black comedians go there and the clientele for the Houston Improv is mostly black people Texas black people and so I went and did a weekend there and there's a lot of my fans but there's a lot of folks that just come to the Improv so they I could see in their faces that they don't know me and there was this one table of people they were dressed

like it's Easter like beautiful clothes you know and this woman in like a like a robin's egg dress and just beautiful makeup this black woman I was doing this bit about pedophiles one of the many pedophile bits I don't remember which one it was the thing about that they should make doll very realistic dolls of children for for pedophiles to [ __ ] uh and she was just like H like literally putting her hands up like please don't and I just I look at her I looked at her with love with sympathy I was really

playing to her now and I'm trying to convince her that I'm not just trying to piss her off that there's something worth Hearing in here and somehow I don't remember what the moment was but there was a moment in the bit Where She Went I I God I get it and then she started to laugh and I felt this relief I think she would rather not have had the experience at all but I don't know I just love that so much so I love doing that so much and then it finds now I have a

bit that she's part of that her resistance helped me find all the round edges to the bit and all of the angles you know what I mean that's one of the most fascinating things about comedy is that you really need the audience to develop it you need them you can't do it in a vacuum no it is the one art that the audience is your horn that's your [ __ ] instrument yeah they're participating mhm yeah and you need a bunch of different kinds of audiences so many yeah from all over the world yes you

need to use you need to see people that aren't like you that's the most important thing is to go to places where you're like h i this is not going to be fun and there's bits that I do that I'm like I don't want to do this to them I don't want to feel this feeling but I know if I keep doing it each audience will bring me closer to them and figuring out and then there's this bad point where these bits that I do that are like about pedophilia stuff they get to where they're

killing because I've just I've fashioned them so well and had so much great collaboration with different kinds of outrage and now uh it's a blistering hot bit and then when I'm doing it I forget it was ever offensive right and I just go like I'm doing it like this like yeah you're going to love this and I always prested over the wave to some audience that they just stare at me like what are you talking about and I go oh yeah that's right this is a [ __ ] up subject this is a [ __

] up thing to be talking about and then they remind me to approach it like this m yeah like like the way you're talking to somebody with a like a panicking person with a guy right right right right you know who's got a guy like this he's doing this yeah and you're just trying to get him to breathe you're trying to get him you know trying to take them through a scary room but what a great thing to take people to where the things that they hate and make them laugh at them you know what

a great thing for for for some of us some people don't like that no some people just like clean and easy and that's that's fine too I mean there's a great audience for that too the I I think one of the unique things that you've always liked to do is you like to go to clubs unannounced so they don't know you're going to be there they're not your fans necessarily they're just people and then you you just drop in and try stuff out yeah that's the most honest thing you know I mean there's the it's

I think some analogy where if you turn up all the dials It all becomes zero again so if you're doing your audience there's also a huge amount of pressure they're paying more money mhm and they've been waiting so there you feel this thing of like this has got to be good the pressure is really high for those shows there's support but those are your customers yes so they're just like let's go yeah but when you just walk in I mean a lot of times if I walk in a place they know who I am but

there's enough in the audience they didn't come to see me and there's enough in the audience that's just I can get a honest sense of how this material Works um there's some place in Australia there's a club in Melbourne and I've done it twice 20 years apart and both times nobody had any idea who I was like the the MC did he's a comic so he was like he said a lot of really nice things and he said this guy what a what a treat and he brings me on in the crowds like and they're

just and I could see them going like this to each other and I'm doing material that has been killing in large concert venues and they just don't give up [ __ ] like then then I found out what's actually you know means something to anybody um it's different culturally too like they they'll laugh at things over there that we don't laugh at Australia do you find that yeah yeah Australia is a fascinating place they're they're wild people they're like uh they're very similar to Americans but not but not at all that's what you get there

and you think it's America nope and cuz you're in a tube in an American tube and you go over there and then you sleep in an American Hotel and everybody's white and they don't sound British they sound a little more like us it feels America then you're walking down the street and a [ __ ] parrot flies by and lands on a telephone pole like what the [ __ ] is a parrot doing you're realize you're surrounded by tropical creatures like I was in Perth which is completely different from Sydney and Melbourne they call them

those the eastern states Perth is on the West Coast of Australia and it's in the Indian Ocean south of IND IND it's a c i mean it's really like per is like a city surrounded by just no people and there's crazy creatures and weird plants and uh and then these white people and they're not yeah they're not they used to be prisoners they well in Perth they were is different it's yeah they they were it was founded as a as a a commercial Venture an English Captain went to England and said and he got money

and he got people he paid people to go and uh and they're mind it's just these huge giant holes in the ground I think it's iron and there is these guys that live in a in Perth and they all have tons of money from this dirty work that they do and they they call them foses fly in fly out because they fly into the mines and then they just live just covered in [ __ ] and you know sleep in a bunk next to the hole for like a month and then they give them like

whatever you know thousand hundred thousand dollars then they go back to Perth it's a weird culture there's a lot lot of those people in Canada I guess like for the fishing right no miners yeah there a lot of miners oil people a lot of people work the oral rigs uhhuh in Canada yeah a lot of the people that they're a part of that strip mining like they all have like jacked up trucks and giant gold chains and tons of money that's what it's like in Perth every truck is a off-road you know jacked up with

uh with the snorkel yeah well you need that out there for the dust yeah you do but then the Eastern stes was founded by um they were penal colonies uh but and I don't know much about it honestly but s Sydney and Melbourne is my favorite place over there Melbourne's great such a great town it's like San Francisco before it was ruined in Australia yeah yeah yeah I was just in San Francisco it's pretty gnarly right now it's weird right yeah is it strange how quickly a city can deteriorate with terrible government mhm I mean

I don't know all the reasons but it's pretty sh there's a ton of reasons yeah but clearly they haven't made a some of it is cyclical I mean I started going there in the 80s and it's a little like it was when I started going there like it's a little back like New York City nobody remembers anything like they because it's all the young people there's always young trendy people whose parents pay for an apartment in New York City and they show up and they're just like said I'm a New Yorker and uh they came

in a lot of the kids that are there now came in during the sort of golden sort of Bloomberg era when when it was Giuliani had just you know stuck plungers up many black anuses to clean the place up and we all kind of watch like oh don't do that o like which s of turned away clean up the city what's that people forgot about thato was the name of the guy right yeah no Abner louima it's two guys Abner louima I think was the plunger it's Giuliani time they stuck a plunger handle up his

ass and say amadu Dio is a guy who was shot something like 68 times cuz he had a sandwich in his hand you know that oh Jesus kind of looked like a gun even though it was you know ve parmesan people forgot about Giuliani at one point in time people thought he should be president after the way he handled 911 everybody's like he's our leader yeah and just cuz he walked down the street with a coffee and said well boy it's rough that's basically what he did he didn't stop 911 he didn't solve 911 he

didn't save anybody there was no one to save that's most [ __ ] up thing about that day is that there was no you know they had the hospitals were all ready and there was not like one there was like nobody was injured were you living in New York City when that happened yeah I was I was not in the city the day before on the 10th I flew to LA to pitch a [ __ ] TV show wow and my wife was pregnant and we were living in Greenpoint Brooklyn which was right I mean

that come out of our house the towers were our view right out the door and so she was there six months pregnant and whmo and uh she called me it was like 900 in the morning in LA or or earlier I guess it was like 6 and she called me and she was just balling and I was like what's wrong and she couldn't say anything and I was like what the [ __ ] is and aply I'm like am I in trouble like and then she says turn on the TV and I saw these the

towers on fire and I was like okay it's not it's nothing to do with with home this is a big a world world problem not a me problem I'm pretty sure that's not my fault no anyway she was uh she hand actually she handled it really well like Todd Barry you know Todd right he uh uh called her she's the one who told him like what had Happ he woke up not understanding what was happening and he was really scared and called my ex-wife and she Cal calmed him down she's she's a good person um

but anyway yes and then and I was like get out of this I just panicked living in Manhattan I cuz I grew up with movies like uh Warriors and with memories like the blackouts and I wasn't even there for the blackouts but there's all these blackouts where everybody got killed and there's a lot of movies about like New York City is shut down and everybody and you know the wolves come out yeah so I thought as soon as it happened I told her get out of Manhattan there's just going to be people throwing TV sets

through windows in like five I just believe I Am Legend yes that kind of thing so get the [ __ ] out of she got out of there um and then I was on the road and I was I I I was in LA I was supposed to pitch a show and I called the network and I said I assume the meeting is cancelled and they said yeah but if you want your show to go forward we do have to we have to have they made me do pitch of comedy on September 11th on the

12th oh the 12th they gave you a day off what's that they gave you a day off yeah that's right it a day to let everything yeah the 12th was my birthday um but so I had to pitch a [ __ ] comedy and it was it was hor I mean obviously that was you know terrible and then I went back on the road I was doing gigs so I was flying as soon as they were flying you know there was no airplanes for how many days was it where I don't remember how long they

didn't fly for but I think it was a couple of weeks before a flight went up I don't remember but but I started flying right away and the airports were all empty and you got everyone was allowed in the lounges and everyone was getting upgraded to first class because the planes were empty and for a while it was part of the protocol before the flight takes off they used to say they they would give you the safety stuff and then they would say you can use your seat Bel detaches you can use it as a

weapon oh Jesus you can use your seat as a shield and they tell yes they would say this as part of the thing for like the first month after 911 and they would say where here to protect you but you have to protect us they would say that and there was one flight I took where I was flying first class like seat 1B I was right at the bulkhead and and this other guyy sitting at 1C across from me and the captain came out right before the flight and he kind of squatted between us and

he said listen fellas uh CU it was a a red eye he said you're the last line of defense so I need you not to sleep on this flight Jesus Christ I need you not to sleep on the FL defend him yeah but of course there's part of me that's like I'm a guy so I'm like oh yes sir you know I was excited yeah I got asked once by a lady these two guys were fighting and they were thinking about removing the guys from the plane cuz one guy had put his bag above this

other guy's seat and the other guy goes hey man that's for my seat and he's like no it's first come first serve he's like no [ __ ] you and then they were like [ __ ] you no [ __ ] you and then the lady can't had to come in and go hey hey like I will [ __ ] kick both of you guys off the plane yeah this is before you took off before we took off she goes do we have an understanding and they go yeah and then she comes to me she

goes hey if anything goes down you're going to help right she deputized you she deputized me I'm like okay I mean what do you want me to do yeah yeah official yeah what am I what what's my directive what am I what are my orders if I go back there and smash some guy am I in trouble like what what happens what am I allowed to do yes you were directed by a company employee and she has like Federal power I need you to put that on video like like that's what I would say it

on my phone yeah say go ahead yeah I need to know what's going on first of all I don't know who's right I mean this one guy who says it's his seat and it's above his seat yeah he's kind of got a point and the other guy's got a point too like if that's the only space that's open I don't think it's about who's right right in that situation it's not about who's right about that right it's about if somebody throws hands well it was about one guy was really douchy about it like he could

have he could have been like um there was nothing else available um do you want like is there a space over here I'll move your bag for you like he could have made a so many things yeah they could have made some sort of a considerate he's probably got it something at home you know probably you get on a plane after a fight with whoever at home oh yeah work sucks at home he can't say it he's got somebody who he's fighting with who he needs to suppress and so the first [ __ ] yeah

you know or he's just a dick he's just an [ __ ] could be just a dick I can't get my head around that that there's all I I always think it's something that's bothering him I can't get my head around somebody who's just like well some people think you have to be that way to get ahead you have to be a dick to get ahead like there's there's people that have that M mentality right and there's people that feel comfortable if they can do that yeah they're just comfortable if they can have whatever they

want so if you challenge it they go they find they have their logic usually it's just [ __ ] you yeah I mean he tried one argument and his second argument yeah was [ __ ] you and that some dudes like to just take up that kind of space you know yeah just like this is all mine yep and [ __ ] off and I'm not if I do one thing for somebody else it's going to start chining in so I'm not doing that so that's just how they live some women had do it too

but it's a different version of it h no you know there's like but the people that like this is all I was on a Subway in New York once and it was packed and everyone's you know people like this you're smooshed against people you know your chest is against somebody's back and we're all strapped hanging and some people are sitting and this woman had a salad and she was eating it on the packed Subway but and she was like she had she had it out like this and she's just stabbing the and she's just taking

up all this space so she can eat her [ __ ] chicken salad and all of us were just watching her every person was just like [ __ ] [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] like n like black nurses that have been working 14 hours just like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] anyway I mean for her it's probably the only time she has to eat the girl eating the salad I guess yeah she probably had she didn't look she looked comfortable kind of a prison thing too you like put your

arm around your food and you eat like this yeah yeah have you ever had been scared somebody's going to eat your food maybe in high school maybe yeah maybe not really Newton South yeah caia rough some [ __ ] wasn't very rough wasn't very rough I mean I'm thinking maybe I don't have a a thought a memory I remember the first conversation we had um I guess I was like ever really yeah how old you because this reminds me of it about Newton South okay cafeteria I'm 55 55 too I'm 55 okay so we must

have both been around 20 you when you started comedy you were 21 yeah all right so I must have been the same age but uh we talked about F because I found out you were Taekwondo guy or something is that what you fought yeah and I asked you about fights like I said do you have skills for fighting in real life and you said well there just some things you know that are put you know that put you way at Advantage with people that aren't Fighters like you don't wait for the fight to start you

told me like you told me you were in a cafeteria once in South and some some kid came up and you know people think they're going to get to do a preamble they think that there's going to be a whole hey [ __ ] you and now we're they think there's going to be like yeah and as soon as you knew he was there to uh threaten you you just punched him in the sternum and he just went down he's like hey man you and then he just anyway so that was the first time you

explain that to me yeah that could have been avoided I thought about that one for a lot afterwards yeah yeah yeah you think you jump the gun sometimes you jump the gun because like there with great power comes great responsibility you know the guy he had no chance he was just bowing up right he was just a knucklehead yeah it should probably let him you know that's funny yeah I think that's how you've changed too cuz you were really wired then you were tightly wired well we're talking then about like me being 15 or 16

that's right yeah I was and a trained fighter at a young age and it's also like you got this thing you want to try out it's like you got a fast car you want to hit the gas yeah of course let's let's see what happens of course this guy yeah cuz people you know in high school you're kind of trying out bowing up on people right you know it's a pretty pretty Nuance thing to ask a kid that age to know like how to back how to back off I don't need I don't need to

fight you yeah no it's hard it's hard for kids I just watched this horrible brawl today uh that someone had put up on Twitter in a high school it was terrible where like all these kids were fighting in the hallway and teachers are trying to separate it and this one kid threw this kid to the ground and punched him unconscious and the kid went into a seizure I'm like oh God this is and it's awful and a lot of it is people that just don't know how to fight and they don't know how to defend

themselves and then they're [ __ ] flailing wildly at each other and this one guy knew something and he threw this guy to the ground and punched him out [ __ ] school's so dangerous it's so dangerous cuz kids are just starting to get testosterone they're just starting to become like strong and like a a like almost a man and out of lopsided too the other kids who didn't it just didn't kick in yet so tiny yeah yeah well these kids were it was all there was none of that they were similar sized but it

was just awful it's just awful you know there's also weird energy in school for kids that age that's it's intricate like I remember I saw a lot in my high school fights that were between friends because there's always somebody who wants people to fight there's always somebody who doesn't fight but wants a fight to happen everybody wants to see it so you take a a a kid who's trying to get some kind of status with a certain group and they go why you friends with that guy you know like that guy's a [ __ ]

and they actually turn him on as they want to see if they can make a kid fight a friend of his I saw that so many times and I saw a lot of kids that were tough and but had a head you know smart kids who were I remember this one kid his name was Chris and his friend Doug was pushed into like he's I'm gonna kick your ass and Chris could have beat Doug but he just started crying because it was too much yeah pressure and he didn't want to fight his friend and he

could hurt his friend real bad and he's isolate everybody's around him he's like now the kid the [ __ ] you know and he just started crying and then everybody starts laughing at him because he's crying oh and now he's mad and he just beat Doug's face just red it's like he painted his face red oh no one of the most humiliating fights I get ever got into was I there was never even a punch Throne it was me I was 14 and there's this kid in the locker room and I don't remember the what

words were said but we were standing in front of each other and this is before I even was really into martial arts this is one of the reasons I got into it this kid grabbed me in a headlock threw me on the ground and was going to punch me in the face but then stopped and decided not to so I going to let you up and I was like like so humiliating was so humiliating it would have been better if he hit you cuz then you a little bit tough for taking the punch well at

least I mean he was so unconcerned that I could do something to him that he just let me up and then I like would avoid him like in school like if I would like look down the hallway and like I would open up the door to the outside Breezeway and I saw him on the other side I'm like I got to go around this way I got to keep away from that guy I was terrified of him terrified of him for a full year when I was a senior I never really got in fights I

just didn't it just didn't happen to me I was kind of bigger than a lot of kids my age so I guess that you know I just didn't and I didn't have a lot of conflicts with people so I never really got much into fights it just sort of slid through you know and then at senior year I I don't remember Junior whatever but I was high a lot and I was in the library and I was laughing I was making a lot of Racket in the library I used to get yelled at all the

time for being loud in the library and uh this kid who's a softmore little kid who was like this on me kind of uh uh skinny and wearing a leather jacket he goes hey shut the [ __ ] up cuz he he was just annoyed and the worst part is he was right like I knew in my head I'm being annoying yeah but I said [ __ ] you like and I'm just like a status I'm a senior year a sophomore [ __ ] you shut up and he goes what [ __ ] me and

I go yeah [ __ ] you and he comes over he goes you want to go right now I'll [ __ ] kick the [ __ ] out he's smaller than me but he's wiry and I'm like I'm scared I was terrified cuz like I don't want to fight this kid even if I win I'm not going to like go unscathed I don't want to get hurt yeah I don't want to be punched in the face I don't want I don't want any of this to happen and he's standing above me and he's like you

want to [ __ ] go and I was just like no I don't I don't want to I don't want to fight and he's like then shut the [ __ ] up then and I was like and my friends were so ashamed of me and for the rest of the year I was terrified of this little this little kid scar I did an episode about it in my show and uh where the some high school kid threatens to beat me up and I back off I back down and I apologized to him oh because I

don't want to get yeah I that kid really uh he haunted me for a long time it can happen yeah it can happen yeah and he's somewhere now you know I got beat up on a bus by a girl when I was 14 cuz I didn't fight back I didn't know what to do I I wasn't sure if I should hit her back yeah um when I liveed in uh Newton in Newton South we would go to I think it was round Meadow which was the um the middle school I think that's what it was

okay and we would walk across the field cuz my sister was going to the middle school and I was in uh nth grade and she was in eighth grade so I would go and take the bus with her because like the bus was earlier or something I forget what it was okay so I went over and something happened when I got on the bus and there was this girl who like was this tough girl Smoked Cigarettes she had a leather jacket on Newton tough girls and I don't remember what happened I don't remember what the

the conversation was but she either decided I was in the wrong seat or whatever so she just starts wailing on me like it wasn't even like it wasn't it wasn't even like I didn't argue back it was just like she just started punching me yeah and then this little guy who was like who W up being my friend his name is Mugsy Malone he W up being uh my he later went on I think he was a politician yeah at one point in time but he became my friend yeah but he was tiny little guy

he was like in fifth grade yeah and uh and like the girl beats me up and and then and then he comes over he goes I ain't [ __ ] afraid of you either I'm like oh Jesus like what the [ __ ] he jumped on her side against you 100% yeah it was like one of those things where I was like my God I got to learn how to fight it's like really what turned me into a martial artist was like I was tired of being terrified mhm girl kicked my ass and I didn't

even fight back I was just like covering my head up and she was just with a leather jacket on her [ __ ] what is her life that she needed to go right to DEFCON 5 well she wound up being the girlfriend of the guy who is the toughest guy on the wrestling team which I join the next season so thank God I didn't swing back yeah that would have been he would beat theck this guy Mark Collings who was uh like the the neighborhood tough guy who wasn't even a small guy wasn't even a

big guy brother he was a small guy but he was just [ __ ] intense and he was a really good wrestler yeah I lived in Newtonville which was like on right along the highway M and right next to nonantum which was all those Irish and and Italian kids and so that's who I went to Junior High School with and mostly high school but there was uh a lot of really terrifying kids there's a lot of scary kids well blueco collar communities like I was in Upper Falls in Newton Upper Falls there was a lot

of [ __ ] lot of drinking and everybody would hang out by Echo Bridge you remember Echo Bridge that's where my house was my house was right next to Echo Bridge yeah Newton had a lot of hang like cabitt I went to cabitt school elementary school and cabitt park was a hang M and to Cross cabitt Park sometimes you'd get these guys that would just Converge on you and they would play games with you and you didn't know what was going on hey kid come here come here and then all of a sudden you're in

the middle of the park and you're like [ __ ] yeah I remember once this kids he said he he had a $100 bill for some reason and he said we're going to play this game and they're all surrounding me and he puts the $100 bill on my on my hand and he gives me a cigarette and he says if you can burn a hole in his head all the way through I'll give you the $100 bill I'm like I was like I don't want I don't want to do it Jesus Christ no try it

try it and I was trying to do it and it hurt like [ __ ] and I don't remember how that ended like I just remember that terrifying and they're all staring at me and one time some kids had a a a cup of puke it was like a coffee cup with puke and he said can you drink this whole thing if you drink this whole thing we'll give you beer that was that thing oh God drink the puke and I'll give you a beer yeah these guys just scared me and then when I grew

up I hung out with those kids and smoked cigarette that's where I learned to smoke cigarettes in that Park and I drank my first beer in that Park uh but there was kids there was a kid named Mike who was the toughest kid in Newton he was just a [ __ ] terrifying person and there was one point where this this kid named David Russell he was his family lived in Boston I don't know if you guys had metco kids the kids that were Bust from Boston into our schools black kids from all black kids

from Boston who were bust into our school system it wasn't part of that boss bossing Boston thing it was out to the suburbs right and these were kids that got up at 4:00 in the morning to go to school you know they were living a particular life and coming out to this suburb and some of them were my friends one of them was Ronnie devau of B Biv devau no [ __ ] yeah I went to high school with him wow and uh I knew him since like Junior High School through was a nice kid

and when he was in what first edition or new New Edition MH they used to come get him in a limousine and people would say shout racist [ __ ] at the Bobby Brown all these guys would be in theine in in high school it was so racist it was so crazy yes so David Russell was a Medco kid and his family's house burnt down in Boston and a family in Newton actually friends of mine they had a rental unit and they let the Russell live there so it was like there's a black family living

in Newtonville it's a big deal and everyone was into because it was all liberal teachers everybody was into like we're hosting this family because they lost their home so all of a sudden David Russell's living in Newton he's not just going to school there and one day um Mike and his group confront David Russell in the park and they go Hey listen we we're really happy you're here we want to show you this bench right here this is your bench and they had literally literally painted it black and they painted one of the swings black

they said this is the Russell swing this is the russle bench you can use them anytime you want whoa and I remember I heard that story and I went to the park that day and there was a black bench and a black swing and they were there I mean I remember I went back when I was in my 20s and it was still a little yeah wow yeah it was Newton Massachusetts it's crazy kids were latch key kids back then remember those days you just like oh your parents are let you out there's no parents

they come home my mom would come I was raised by a single mom she had four kids and worked so she' come home at 7:30 8:00 rush hour traffic just exhausted yeah and but I'd come home make my own lunch and often dinner yep um sometimes I'd make something for my mom you know uh yeah home alone all day all day out on the streets out on the streets nobody knew where you were there was no cell phones you just wandered around yep and just hope you didn't die yeah because every now and then someone

would die someone would driving accident or something every I think every year in my in uh my high school there would be a page in the yearbook for the kid that got killed in drunk driving yeah something there was always something like that my friend's sis my best friend Ian his sister Claire was in a drunk driving accident where somebody died and half her face was paralyzed still today she was just uh yeah it was a [ __ ] up uh [ __ ] up time well it's just those I mean the getting through that

though is like a very unusual education in in human beings and and development and like why people do the things they do and why they say the things they did why they're trying out different kinds of behaviors and you know and and bullies and people are pacifists and people get bullied and you see it ruin their lives and you know it can ruin your [ __ ] life man i' I've I really feel for people who get bullied because if you get bullied in high school and you just decide that's who I am I'm just

this [ __ ] loser I'm just going to hide and then you hide in your apartment and you hide in your house and you hide at your job and then like your life is hiding now because somebody [ __ ] with you and somebody well also you were very badly hurt when you were extremely vulnerable exactly and you're probably hurt cuz you already were vulnerable you are already were uh unsure of yourself for different reasons and so never really recover from that I don't think it's it's it's part I mean it doesn't mean it destroys

your life but it's in your life all the things that's all the things that happen to you that are horrible like unbelievable they just stay with you they just become part of you you don't swap it out you don't you don't clean it out it doesn't go away stays you can get over it you can get over it you can integrate it yeah it can help you understand what's happening to other people it can help you you even understand people that hurt people yeah like when you get really hurt by people you have two choices

you can decide to collapse under it and say I'm too weak to live in this world or you can decide to hate them which is another very corrosive thing you can just decide that they're [ __ ] they're not human or you can look at them and go what the why this person do this to me they've always been abused yeah and then you go okay and then you get an Insight that no people don't get without that kind of experience and uh and then you have a self-reliance because you go I got through it

I did it I got through it um I think every extreme experience bad and good is food you know it's good it has it has the potential for a learning experience yeah potential yeah it's up to you you turn it into yeah like all those stories about like me being bullied and thrown around like that's what led me to get into martial arts if it wasn't for that I probably never would have done it and I never would have been person that I am sure but all that came out of bad feelings like terrible feel

like just moving to town so I was 14 I just moved there um I I lived in Jamaica plane before that and then we moved to I didn't know yeah well how old were you when you moved from there uh we were I lived in Jamaica plane for I guess a year and a half or so my parents were like this is way too dangerous we got to get out of there still it was sketchy well now it's I think Jamaica plan's gentrified now oh yeah okay but um when I was there it was not

uh when I was in um I guess it was eth grade seventh or eighth grade um there was a boy who was in our class who was 17 years old and I was like what the [ __ ] is he doing in class and what grade were you 7th grade sth wow that's crazy he was crazy yeah he had he just kept falling out of school and he was in there and he started off at the beginning like I'm just going to [ __ ] do it this time and uh I remember being in class

like I was like a little kid he was like an adult I was like this is crazy and um he fell off it just he was in class for a couple days and then he stopped and I realized like a this poor guy like he's never going to catch up like he's [ __ ] cuz now he feels like a loser and he feels like he's so far behind he can't even do it anymore and so you just dropped out but it was that kind of a neighborhood it was there was a lot of criminals

in my neighborhood I mean the other thing is that school makes people feel really shitty in some ways I I always felt like a loser in school me too I was always in trouble I was never I mean I remember when I was in uh kindergarten I was in in first grade I was in Mexico City that's where I lived when I was little and uh I have this one I don't remember much about that time but I remember this one day we had desks with all work in a a desk that folded down and

all your papers were in there and you had to keep it organized and keep handing stuff in but I could never finish anything so my desk was always like I couldn't close it and I hated this feeling and the teacher [ __ ] angry Mexican teachers would scream at me and one day the teacher left us in the room alone me and some kids for some reason and I took all the papers and I threw them out the window I opened the window and I threw all my papers out the window and uh the kids

were like what and they started screaming and everybody started throwing papers out the window it was like [ __ ] Attica just nuts and then there was just pounding at the door and the teacher and I knew I'm in so much trouble right now like I'm in Beyond trouble but it felt so good it just felt so good to be like in this outside of the box yeah you're not supposed to do that at all but it felt free I felt like a some kind of adult or something you know isn't it funny those moments

of rebellion like early on that really sit with you like it felt so good like it plants seeds for further rebellion in the future well once you get that feeling you don't you want it again and again you know because it takes you out of everything it's like yeah I may never get out of this class I may never finish any of these I might not graduate I might you know yeah but I'm right now I'm throwing all this [ __ ] out the window I'm live exactly it feels good for right now and it's

hard to reconcile that I think that's a little bit of a comedian's like upbringing um and and then you have to start being a you know and you have kids and it all goes away you have kids and you grow right whatever is left I think when you have kids I mean not for everybody there's some real douchebag parents but for the most part I think once the kids come you know it's not about you anymore it's about them so and it's Al it's it's bizarre watching them go through it them going through like trying

to find their identity and trying to find their friends group and little disputes that they have in their friends group yeah like one of my daughters has this one little daughter uh one little friend rather who's I don't want to say she's evil but some something's wrong something's wrong she's just like always like very mean to the other girls and very insulting and and for whatever reason this girl just has like this fire inside of her and all the other 12-year-olds are starting to figure it out now so they're starting to separate from her like

they gave her a few chances right and so now the mom is contacting the other mom's like what's wrong she's such a sweet girl like no your daughter's kind of a [ __ ] and it's like it's weird and then you know me and my wife are having this conversation I'm like do you think it's the mom like who like where's this coming from do you think it's the family like how does a daughter get to be so insulting and shitty you got to learn that you can't just be like the sweetest kindest person in

the world and have this [ __ ] hyper aggressive going I mean there's people like I remember there was a kid when I grew up and he was a mess and he was huge he just got really huge in third grade he was a formidable he was bigger than all all of us and uh he was a really bright kid and he was funny and interesting but he had this crazy temper and he would throw these tantrums in the middle of Cl like something would piss him off and he'd start screaming and throwing [ __

] and he'd get violent and the teacher would go to the back then there was like a box on the side of the classroom wall with a clock and a speaker and a button like a microphone like to call the office and they'd call the office and say get Mr Shanahan he was our one teacher who was big enough to handle this kid and he would come and just subdue him he put wrap his arms around this kid and the kid's face would be purple and Mr Shanahan would just subdue him until he ran out

of he would just collapse and we would all sit there and watch this and then he'd be taken out of the classroom and then we'd all talk about him but like you know the teacher would say let's talk about it yeah what do you think's going on with John and how do we handle this oh that's cool he's in our community he's in our class oh that's a great teacher it was he was great Mr Weisberg great teacher and and then I was always in John's class fourth grade fifth grade in fifth grade we had

a trip to Cape Cod the whole fifth grade class goes in cars in a caravan you know to Cape Cod and you live in tents and you visit the Cranberry Bogs whatever the [ __ ] you do in Cape Cod and it's a very social thing you know so somebody's mom is driving so they're like you know will you come in my car you know that was the cool thing and I got invited to be in Jeff Drew's car and I was like this is going to be I love Jeff Drew it's going to be

me and him and Mike McDougall we're going to have a great time but the teacher pulled me aside and he said listen John the the [ __ ] up kid he goes his parents have offered to drive and nobody wants to drive with him and I'm asking you to do it oh boy and I was like I I don't want to do that and he said you're I'm asking you cuz I think you're a nice person and you're the one person I can think of that I could ask could you make this sacrifice and let

him not feel so isolated and I was like [ __ ] and I was that made me feel good that he wanted me to do it and I did it and I got to know him and he was a really cool kid and his parents were both professors really really bright people oh wow his father had killed himself but his stepfather and his mother were professors really intelligent people that's probably where it came from I think so it was really hard his life was really hard and then I knew him for years after that we

were kind we were friends but he would always explode all the way until you know 17 or so the last time I saw him he was like 16 I think and he was still he K we were talking outside of a Brigham's ice cream in Newton Center and uh he was leaning on the glass of the window and this guy came outside and said don't lean on the glass and so he kicked it and shattered the whole the whole window and I walked away I'm like I don't want I don't ever want to see this

kid again oh Jesus but uh anyway just to say that yeah the point of it is I tried to stay friends with that kid when there's a kid who's really [ __ ] up and has a wire loose someone's got to be their friend yeah I don't think you know it's like I've had girlfriends that are like really cuckoo and my friends have been like she's bad news she's crazy I'm like well somebody has to love room you know if everybody walks away from her she's nuts she's going to be alone oh that was always

the case with Brian K with Brian Callan me and Brian K like Brian call was always like the guy took in all the Strays he's like everything's going to be fine she's fine she's fine we're fine and I was always you know his friend going hey man you got to [ __ ] get out of this like you got to get out of this now this is this is a dark Road you're going down this is only going to lead to doom and he was always like you know someone's got to be your girlfriend yeah

I've had a few friendships and relationships like that like this person is tough like comedian friends that I've had that everybody else is like I hate that guy I'm like I get it I'm staying friends with him I get it I'm not going to defend him all over the place but oh you're talking to me I'm friends with Alex Jones Jesus Christ you know Jesus Christ that's the ultimate example of that oh yeah on a big scale too that's got to be hard the biggest scale God the biggest scale in the world that takes a

lot of fortitude to just to hang in there he's not a bad guy I mean I know he had a psychotic break but Alex Jones got dumped on his head when he was in high school he's speaking about getting bullied in high school this guy picked him up and pile drived him slammed him on the concrete on his head heard was it John Ronson that did a documentary about him or like a he did a thing on NPR John Ronson did a thing with him where they both went to Bohemian Grove where he grew up

this no no Bohemian Grove is this place in California where all the elites go and they put [ __ ] Druid costumes on and they they worshiped mik the owl God and Nixon went there and Reagan went there yeah Oh I thought you were talking about ban Grove you don't know what it is Bohemian Grove is a famous place where rich world leaders would meet in Northern California and they literally worship this molik the owl God and and everybody thought it was [ __ ] but John Ronson and Alex Jones stuck in and this is

in like the '90s I want to say this is the '90s I've been friends with Alex since 1998 wow that's how I know I knew him back when he was protesting George Bush and he was saying that you know George Bush is a war monger and a war w w when w was running for president yeah back when w was was the governor of Texas right um so he like this idea that he was like this right-wing guy he was always like this anti-power guy but he was dumped on his head in high school on

the concrete when he was you know 15 16 years old and he was [ __ ] ever since then and he has real mental problems sometimes and if he's drinking a lot and then he takes in too much conspiracy [ __ ] he starts believing things that aren't real ruining folks lives and that's what he did Jesus Christ yeah he started believing he really but he wasn't lying he just was wrong he really believed that the government had faked it to try to conference gate people's weapons like he's just I I mean it was a

haze of drugs and booze and a psychotic break and like legitimate traumatic brain injury yeah there's a lot going on there well you know pretending that he wasn't the way to start this conversation I remember when that happened uh Sandy Hook that was Sandy Hook right and and uh I remember that the media went up there right away yeah I remember it made me really sick cuz it was such a horrible thing that happened yeah and what everybody should have done is just let the chief of police talk to you and let him say we

don't know these things yet just wait just wait for information to come out of this very painful place but the media flew in of course and they're on the [ __ ] grounds of the school and Anderson Cooper is talking to [ __ ] kids who were there and their parents have their hands on the kids' shoulders and you can see in both the kids face and the parents face that they're not sure they should be doing this they don't know they don't we take for granted this thing of being exposed to the uh media

and being talking on cameras right and there's been things of course in your life and my life where you say something or have an experience and then afterwards you go [ __ ] that was I wish I hadn't said that right or I didn't know how this would feel is the thing right so somebody who's not even in public life and who just suffered it un off the charts trauma and Anderson Cooper in there and his producers going no you should talk Talking them into it saying you should talk to the world right now you

should be on the news talking about it now we don't want to wait till later we don't want to do an expose 10 years later what was it like or even a year we want to know right now why does it have to be now why can't you just talk to the to the stoic chief of police who says here's why cuz you're [ __ ] because it's just dirty greed it's just dirty I want it it'll be great on camera I don't give a [ __ ] what happens to this person when I leave

Sandy Hook today I don't give a [ __ ] I'll be back in my CNN Studios I'm picking him because that's the face I remember yeah and the fact that they were there it's just maob and it's ghoulish and it's gross and it puts those people in a very vulnerable [ __ ] up position that they didn't anticipate they had no idea and I'm talking out of school CU I didn't experience what they experienced but as a person sitting and watching it I'm like I'm not being told too much I know too much about this

too soon and that that's not because I need to know where it's going to help fix what happened it's because somebody want they just wanted because it drives ratings that's it that's it it's just money yeah so and that there's been an extensions of that throughout the history since then of every time something bad happens nobody slows down and thinks about it well there's also a thing that happens where you get eyewitness accounts that are all [ __ ] up and one of the reasons why eyewitness accounts that are are [ __ ] up is

because when people experience a traumatic incident their memory is very confused there the whole you you are working with a part of your brain that's like this reptilian part of your brain that's like completely freaked out that something horrible happened and that that happened after 911 like after 911 everybody wanted to believe that this was some Grand conspiracy because there was all these bizarre eyewitness accounts oh I heard a bomb go off I heard this I heard that like these flabbergasted they don't know what the [ __ ] happened they were so overwhelmed and Blown

Away by the moment there just should be every time something awful happens there should just be a blackout like just a period where let's not talk anybody yeah don't talk to the traumatized well going there and sticking a [ __ ] microphone in their face is it's just so gross and it's part for the course it's like how it's done yeah and then they're reporting from the place and imagine what it's like being in that community and there's [ __ ] a a van with a like satellite thing on the top doing here yeah it's

it's obscene yeah it is obscene it's obscene and it's normal that's what they operate under that's that's their currency I guess so yeah yeah I don't think they think about it anymore I don't think they think about it because there's a diffusion of responsibility when you work for a large corporation that's the job that has to get done yeah we got to go there it's not my call it was my call I'd stay in the studio I'm a good person right yeah I remember I was at Fox News once because I was shooting a a

sketch with uh uh Greg um uh what's his name he's Geraldo no no Greg uh the Fox News he's got a funny talk show geld Gutfeld Gutfeld he this was when he was just sort of he he was didn't have the Gutfeld show I ey I think it was red eye but we they he let us shoot a thing where he it was a sketch for my it was like a a scene for my show where um I'm I'm debating with a woman who's against masturbation and I'm I'm the guy on Pro masturbation and he

was the moderator and we had this like TV news thing it a silly episode of my show and uh anyway so I got to go to the studios to shoot it and Gutfeld was really cool I like him he's a good guy he's a nice guy and um so I sat in the they didn't have the place for us yet and they let me I asked if I could go in a control room and they're like okay and I sat in this control room because I love television I love being behind the scenes and the

president was making a speech it was Obama he's making a speech and I was in the live [ __ ] in the room the Fox News room watching them do their thing and Bill O'Reilly's on this camera having his hair done and this guy's over here looking at you know and a girl got she's getting makeup everybody's getting ready the president is in the corner and the sound's off nobody's listening to the president he's given a speech and nobody's they're just going Alex what do you got Alex and Alex is like did you get the

[ __ ] everybody's cursing and trying to line up guests for interviews and just it was fascinating to watch and the second the president is done they go to whoever not Alex Jones what am I talking about the guy who was the big Fox News guys back then uh bill bill yeah they go to Bill O'Reilly and he goes well this is just the president doing the same like he wasn't listening nobody listened to the speech they just go this is just [ __ ] and we don't believe in and then this guy and this

guy and I saw how fast and they were so urgent it was so urgent that they get in right away and I know that the same thing's happen in MSNBC and CNN they're not thinking about anything they already know their reaction yeah and they got to come in with it really quick because the because it's got to get in here before anything else that's got to you know so nobody listens to if there was like a thing where you need to take a day after his speech you have to read it you have to watch

it and discuss it with the staff and then make a decision make a spe you know uh an opinion the opinion would be like he he's got points and blah you know what I mean it would definitely be and it would move the ball forward and it would get people to hear each other more but there's such a need cuz it's entertainment yeah you have to be there right away with rebuttal yeah well you know what it is is like for It's Entertainment disguises news for minimally engaged casual viewers yeah because it's not really people

that are completely locked in for the most part most people are just flipping to the channels and you know something outrageous I what I think he's doing is bad for America oh bad for America what is he doing and then you'll tune in but if they don't say that you're not going to pay attention and then they're going to lose out on those that fiser dollar it's going to come during the ad break no if you say what you really think yeah you would be like well you know we'll see yeah it should be fine

in other ways it won't be but it'll be nobody wants to watch that so well because of the format it's just a trick to get you to watch a commercial for Colgate it's just a trick that's the old days that's the old days it is now too like if they can't get you to stick around and wait for the commercials they don't make any money like the whole deal is they have to be engaging enough to get you locked in so you can see that Toyota truck commercial and if they don't they don't make the

money no that's the same with the little videos too like have you ever seen back when there was police shooting videos black people that were coming up a lot they'd always some news organization would get it it would be theirs and you go on YouTube to watch it and there's an ad so it's like Snapple yep the guy gets beat up and then Snapple again the end yeah and they make money off that Snapple is like so strange the news is so bizarre the format so bizarre we get what we want from it though because

everybody likes to be entertained by news so if there wasn't it's like drug use if there wasn't the user then the the deal goes broke it's way less popular than it's ever been in human history like in the history of television news the news like the evening news and CNN those things are less popular than they've ever been right ever and it's because people are tired of it it's a shitty format and in comparison to long form discussions like independent U interview shows like U you know there's so many different political shows now and podcasts

where people have Nuance perspectives and if you really want to understand what's going on in the world like complicated issues like the invasion of Ukraine by Russia like you need people to break it down to you and they're not going to get it in in five minutes you're not going to you're going to get they hate us for our freedom that's what you're going to get in five minutes you're going to get nonsense talking points no I remember when I grew up like Walter kronite was still on the air somewhere I remember he was on

CBS I think I still the my earliest news memory yeah was when Apollo and soyuz the two the Russian and the American capsule uh docked in mid space there was something where they were both up there once and they ran into each other and saw each other from the window and kind of got close and thought hey what if we could meet so they went back and they fashioned a dock this like in the early early 70s or mid '70s and they went up and they and they docked and then they walked they they hung

out and drank vodka anyway it was it was during the Cold War it was a big deal and I remember Walter kronite I I think this is what I remember I could be wrong but Walter kronite saying if you live in the northeast of the United States if you go outside tonight if you look up you'll see a red light and a white light blinking next to each other and that's and that's them uh in orbit and I went up and I [ __ ] saw it and it just I mean it blew my and

the way he said it with a little bit of a smirk like Isn't that cool cuz he was very stoic but there was a thing back then where there was just him and David Brinkley there was a couple of news organizations and then like PBS and you kind of got a sense that they were on it that they and also that it wasn't fun it was they had ethics that they took years of training in college and school to get through and a and a system of a hierarchy of whatever internships and that by the

time you were running the network news you were you were a serious person that took it seriously you know and I remember maybe in the mid 80s when I started to hear this sound from the news that I thought what are you what are you doing that and then sometimes it just sounded like this right and they're saying and I it's like what are you [ __ ] you are I could hear the [ __ ] yeah and I knew that they were but that back then they were just trying to to make it sound

interesting when it wasn't they didn't start having this opinion thing yet you know right but it became a show and now it's a show about opinions It's Entertainment and like any other entertainment organization in America they ran it way past the Finish they went way past it nobody likes it anymore and it's they're they're they're running it to the ground they can't just they don't know when to stop yeah well that's the train their on right do you think Fox started it was it Fox that started this like aggressive sort of opinion version of the

news were they the first and then everybody else sort of had to respond to it maybe I don't know Fox theid I don't know that hot ladies in short skirts they were the first well there was there was I mean look Barbara Walters was hot when she started that was right but she dressed appropriately she was very attractive but she dressed appropriately is that do you remember thinking that yes I when I K you know what she's attractive but she's uh very composed and she dressed appropriately and the way she handled Sean connory was great

yeah I liked her I found her I like the bump on her nose she had kind of a funny face you like that yeah why did you like that I don't know I liked Barbera strand that was sort of the same for me I like Lauren Hutton cuz she had that gap in her teeth yeah little flaws are very very attractive yeah um Barbara stran was one of the was in this movie um what's it called uh stars born no [ __ ] um with Ryan O'Neal it's a great movie Peter bogdanovich who just died

does does this F know the way we were no no a comedy um uh what's up doc what's up what's up doc great movie holds up yeah hilariously funny movie really and she was funny as [ __ ] she was really to me she was I always liked funny women when I grew up I was raised by a single mom so women being like you know was my three sisters my whole life I've raised two girls my all my dogs have been women um you dogs are women well girls you know women I respect them

they're not girls I get yeah uh but I always liked her she was funny as and sexy she was hot in the young days yes when she was young mhm she did have that uh that look yep big nose hot Jewish lady yeah yeah hot Jewish girls ooo yeah well growing up in Newton yeah the hot Jewish girls were the thing yes and they were cool and they were brassy and they just say the thing no my girlfriend in high school was Jewish and I was deeply in love with her I had one one year

senior year yeah girlfriend she was great I didn't care about anything else when how fall apart she went to college and I didn't she I never went to college so she went to Dartmouth so now she's in like Ivy League school she can't be hanging out with a loser like you [ __ ] know and I'm like showing up in a dots in B210 to visit her hi and I saw the look on her face like dude you know you you can't you see these you see these people yeah no man this is over hurt

really bad too I saw her recently she came and saw me on the road really yeah she's I'm so happy to see God that's got to be bizarre yes first girlfriend and we're in our 50s wow do you ever see any of your exes no not um I ran into my ex from high school when I was 25 or 26 in in New York oh it's not that far after no it wasn't that far after but it was interesting it like we were kind of adults now and we hung out in a little bit but

then uh we we went on a little road trip together and she was so annoying she was so annoying that I faked that I had my friend called me up and I faked that I forgot to Brak to take him somewhere so I could get rid of her I go I'm so sorry I forgot he's on my friend Johnny's on the phone what the [ __ ] are you talking about I go dude I so I forgot I'm supposed to take you there I'm really sorry I go listen let me take care of it I

can still do it don't worry I can take care of it I told her I'm really sorry but I I gotta drive my friend and I just like God I've lied to a lot of people that was a good one that was one that I just like I really wish I hadn't done it I really wish I confronted her and said listen I know she drove from like DC to visit me but it was awful it was awful she was just nagging she was just like don't do this don't do that like I try to

listen to music in the car like I don't want to hear that it wasn't like why don't we listen to something that we both like wasn't a conversation it was just n and I remember like oh this is what you were like in high school like so she just wanted that back she wanted that I think for some people that's a way of showing affection you know I don't think it was with her no no it was like she was just a really strong girl and she became a strong woman she was very very like

very smart and just rigid in what she wanted and what she didn't want and and she just was for lack of a better term she was a [ __ ] she just like well and you were only 25 yeah and also I was free at the time I mean I was 25 and I was finally a professional comedian I was actually making a living I was doing comedy clubs I was doing okay I was you know I mean that gets back to the thing of life being normal in competing with comedy you know cuz comedy

is a weird life it's too much fun it you're not going to drag me into this [ __ ] I know where this goes this goes to me being a henpecked husband and you you're yelling at me because I didn't do what you wanted me to do it's like no and you're already you're sleeping until 2:00 in the afternoon if you feel like it right and you're working oh it's a joke to call it work yeah you're hanging out with guys that you like and you just out and meeting anybody you want and you're in

New York City you're like living Miles Davis's life yeah it was even worse than that because it was hanging out at pool halls too oh yeah so that was was my pool hall days so all day long this is what my day was I'd wake up whenever I'd go to the gym I'd get a workout in and then I would go to the pool hall and I would go to the pool hall in the afternoon and I'd hang out with the guys we'd play pool we'd talk [ __ ] we'd have some lunch or whatever

and then I'd go do shows so I do shows at night and then I'd come back to the pool hall at midnight 1:00 in the morning and it would be packed and those [ __ ] animals would be in there gambling and talking [ __ ] and doing drugs and they would stay up till 5 6:00 in the morning we would go to the Star Diner in Vernon New York and we eat cheeseburgers like cheeseburg deluxe it was a cheeseburger with like coela on it and pickles and onions and then I go to sleep and

I wake up and do it all again so I had this life of just like being around these degenerate Bachelors that were fun people with great stories and they were always gambling everybody was gambling and we're just playing pool all the time and to this girl who was telling me don't play that music I don't like that music what do you like like like she was just like everything was like you know don't chew that way don't do this don't do that especially New York cuz it was wide open and it was infinite and open

all night and I remember those early years in my 20s living in New York and I would do sets till 4 in the morning sometimes like the the the the Improv on 44th and 9th the LA was like the last set was like 350 on a Saturday it was something crazy like that how many people in the audience like barely anybody but you kept going you know just all night shows like I had a motorcycle because you could get to shows faster through traffic you could do eight nine shows a night um and then you

just get paid cash and you're I mean it was a great life and then me and uh uh like Kevin Brennan and and Dave Vel and a guy named Dan Vitali who you just passed away and a few other guys used to go to the diner on the Westway Diner on 9th Avenue and the Westway was um all the street came in Westway like everybody that's out hustling you know Midtown in Time Square and back then Time Square was still filthy and uh so there were Vice there was always like a table of Vice cops

and then like a table of transvesti hookers and they're out on the street they're after each other but everybody goes to the same Diner so it's like Wy coyote it's like Wy coyote and and the whatever and and they they punch in how you doing buddy yeah yeah it was like that and and the cops always had their guns show you know their shoulder host their guns show and there'd be a table of comics wow and we would just sit there and eat [ __ ] Greek food and uh you know and just hang out

and watch this weird you know I was so happy then I was just so happy it's such a fun time yeah you know you don't really know what's going to happen you you hope that you make it you hope you can continue to make a living yeah but it's such a a fun time of of complete freedom I you know I really enjoyed that I loved it it was enough to pay my rent in New York City and at the time I liked New York City a little more than I do now because there was

more like cool stuff like bookstores and Tower Records and there was more movie theaters and there was more Off the Wall culture and strange stuff to see and and more restaurants and diners not there's really not allight diners in Manhattan anymore there isn't there they're gone like me and Bobby Kelly when we were getting ready to do his special uh I went to watch him at the seller and then I said let's go to Diner and talk it over and we walked around there couldn't find one they all they closed at like midnight now is

that because of crime well Co killed a lot of places I mean it really really distinctly changed the city and it's it's thriving New York it's really like there is sometimes I'd hear people talk on your show and other shows saying like this city New York City is dead and it's dangerous and I'm like I don't know we're here like it's okay it's a very resilient City it's been through a lot yeah it's bouncing back the [ __ ] sheer numbers yeah there's so many people someone's going to pick up slack yeah somebody's business will

fail a lot of businesses fail cats is Deli still open right sure that's open late I don't know how late they're open I think they're open till like 2 or three they might be they might that place is amazing I love that that's my favorite New York place to eat late night it hasn't changed you give him your the ticket and then the guy yeah you paying cash yeah pay cash and the guy gives you a little piece of pastrami while you're waiting and you tip him yeah and then you take these fat chunks of

pastrami on rye back to your and a big pickle oh my God it's so good very last time I was there I ran it to Jeff Ross I'm like this is the perfect place for you yeah that's cat's delices and open 24 hours [ __ ] yeah yeah that's it that's that's all that's left that's what you want God I want to fly there right now and go eat it's so good the brisket everything's great [ __ ] the fries are good and they've been opened since like the 1800s look at that sandwich forever look

at that [ __ ] sand oh so good it's such a classic Jewish delicatess yep just classic there used to be a bunch more there was a place called raters on Delany that was better Jerry's Del went under in La yeah they all that's a sad Co killed Jerry's Deli yeah Jerry's Deli was incredible I [ __ ] loved that place I used to stop at well the one in Woodland Hills went under before uh Co but I used to stop there on the way home from The Comedy Store call my wife I'm like look

I'm going to Jerry's Deli what do you want nice krami Ruben bowl of soup and we'd eat together after I set it was amazing that's great so much fun that's great yeah was like such a good Jerry's Deli was such a good place to meet people to like yeah let's go talk about we'll go meet at Jerry's Deli go sit there go over jokes and [ __ ] yeah sure yeah yeah that kind of stuff don't I mean probably younger Generations have their own version of that but ours we're 55 so our where there's less

of us most people our age are pretty settled they're not going out anymore but the thing about the delies and for me was always the history it wasn't just that the food was amazing it's like this place has been here since 1875 this place has been here since 1946 it's like there's like caners is another great yeah they still have that in La you can still go to caners I remember going to caners and seeing uh I was with a comedian uh her name was Felicia Michaels you remember Felicia yeah I remember Felicia I was

hanging out with Felicia and we went to caners and uh I had it was my first time in LA and uh Jackie Mason was there oh wow and uh he I just watched him check her ass out he just checked out flea's ass with that kind of like he nodded he nodded at her ass like M that's she's standing she had no idea well Jackie Mason was a guy who got he got kicked off of The Ed suvin Show because Ed suvin claimed that he gave him the finger yes and so he got banned from

tele because I went to the um to the Museum of broadcasting or whatever it is in New York where they have like all archives cuz I wanted to see that tape because I read his description of it and I saw it what is it did he give him the finger no what happened was in the way he tells the story is that uh he was doing his set and I guess Ed was kind of I don't know he a little nutty and he wanted him off he didn't he wanted him to quit to stop he

wanted to get him off early or something and so he got behind the camera and he was giving him uh two minutes he was like giving him a like himself and and Jackie's trying to do his set and he goes what are you show me a finger here's a fing you want a finger here's a couple fingers for you like he just sort of like flashed fingers around cuz Ed Sullivan was showing him like making finger signs in him that he didn't understand he wasn't he wasn't told that Ed Sullivan will give him a two-minute

signal right just Ed Sullivan came over he was stressed out for some reason and I saw the tape and it doesn't it's really goes by very quickly but he goes whoa whoa finger finger you want fingers fingers fingers is that available on YouTube you got it here before Jackie someone else talking over it but yeah that's they got apparently give Sullivan finger on this day in 196 how young you was just play it a little bit on the Ed Sullivan Show during his set Sullivan gave Mason a signal indicating that he had 2 minutes left

before he had to finish up actually might not the video then gestured at Sullivan and it was interpreted as him giving the host the finger they're not going to show see if can find it if he's just talking over it that's not it right you can find it no that's how you know yeah it's other [ __ ] thing yeah there's so many of those but I think they have to do that so that some like you know like you have you can't just own someone's stuff but if you do commentary over it and then

you play it yeah then they can't give you a copyright strike on it right because you've altered it enough with your commentary right unfortunately no footage from that specific incident exists on YouTube yes however it's been widely argued that Mason never did flip off he didn't do it I mean I saw it I saw it I don't place still there but you he was supposed to be kind of an [ __ ] supposedly Ed suiv I mean you'd think yeah with that just that what he did you know he's like you ever see sweet smell

of success no it's one of the best movies ever really so good what is it it's Tony Curtis and Bert Lancaster what year is it uh 50s early 60s Patty chvy wrote it so uh 57 so Tony Curtis plays a um he's a publicist it's this New York I mean look at the images it's [ __ ] beautiful this movie and it's all about NTI in New York uh the 50s yeah in the 50s and this guy uh Bert Lancaster plays JJ hunsucker who's a um a columnist and he makes people famous by writing just

little little Snippets about them in his column and Tony Curtis plays a publicist who tried to shill items to him tries to he represents Comedians and there's a comedian in in the movie um and so and he's a bullshitter and this guy is really powerful and he changes people's lives in Show Business and he's also very conservative and but anyway uh he has also a TV show and that's that's where suvin came from he had like a column where he would write you know great young comic just and people cared about his opinion he became

very powerful and then he had like a radio program where he would say this this young artist and then and then he started his show so JJ hunsucker is kind of like a version of Ed Sullivan and he's a bastard so I don't know if people knew that about Ed Sullivan but but he ruins lives and and pits people against each other it's dirty movie if you go back to those days when there was only one or two you know you had like Jack par you had Ed Sullivan you there was only one or two

guys that was in control of like the Gateway way to show business in a lot of ways like Johnny Carson was like that in a lot of ways being on Carson made your whole life yeah and he if he liked you and if you sat on the couch next to Carson I mean that made Richard Jenny's career that's really where he took off from y that's where I first saw him I used to watch The Tonight Show specifically just to watch the standups and Rich Jenny did a great thing I'd never seen before which is

he did a one subject set about Jaws three oh but he could do that though but that said if you ever find it just him talking about Jaws 3 for five minutes see if you can find it it's the greatest Richard Jenny was the very best squeezing all of the material all the here we go glad you're all in a good mood tonight because that's important for a young comedian who's making his very first appearance on The Tonight Show and rich is going to be seeing this September on the annual young comedian special on HBO

and he'll be performing in New York City at Carolines at the sea port August 11th through the for cour would you welcome please Richard Jenny Richard nervous as [ __ ] look at him look at that suit yeah thanks hello H hello hello you're in a great mood you like this suit do you think I should have wore this I don't know it fits good but it takes so long to wax it it's a New York suit I'm a New York guy that's where I got it I just came back from there performing that was

fun then after that I went up to Canada Canada is just like New York backwards isn't it you go up to everybody's going how's it going hey then you go back to New York and the people hey how's it going it's like the same thing hey get off the car get off the car e it's like the same thing and I went down to Miami had a good time that's fun you get on yeah a couple people you get down there they have the Hispanic thing going on a plane you get on a plane and

they're like uh for your convenience we have air sickness bags and someone else goes de he always have the same I think it was a PL crashes they'll have to do that they have to be going we're about to crash 1980s comedy so interesting quick rapid fire time though it just gets lonely on the road boy you just there not you're not even tell you're getting lonely when you're sitting in your hotel going gee I never noticed it before but willmer Flintstone doesn't have a bad [Laughter] body that's the sanitized version of that joke you

just Lely no really she got a nice ass probably ly yeah that's what it was and the clubs are as nice ass yeah I got thank you I got so desperate for something to do one night I actually went to the video store listen to this I rented all four Jaws movies in a row this is a low point in your life when it's like 4:45 you're watching Jaws for the Revenge that's the title Jaws for the and you're sitting there going this shouldn't be the title the title should be here's a fish you're stupid

that's the title you ever see a movie like so bad that they just slap you in the face with how bad it is you can't even pretend you go you know maybe this movie isn't that bad I'm not wasting my life and they just go yes you are are you sure absolutely look at you it's 4 in the morning you're sitting there with one sweat sock and a burrito watching a shark that only kills one family out of an entire ocean full of perfectly edible people for no reason that we ever explain and you won't

turn it off cuz you think it's going to get B there a movie I'm still in pav this a movie so stupid that no matter how stupid you couldn't be stupid enough to enjoy it I mean let's say you have no brain at all let's say you're sitting on your bed here's you a bucket of popcorn and a spinal cord that's it even your spinal cord go hey hey hey hey hey I'm not a brain I don't have thoughts but what is going on here the mother of the family check this out has three people

in her family eaten by the shark in one week so a genius in her own right she comes up with a plan she say well shark is obviously after our family can't put anything over on me there only one thing to do we'll have to leave town and you're going leave town but wouldn't an apartment building be sufficient protection from the average shark I mean even if he's a really ambitious shark right let's say by the time he gets to the apartment building parks in the guest spot explains himself to the dormant come up in

the elevator you would most likely smell fish and run no the mother is leaving town all together and you sit there and you're going but why does the mother just not go on the water wouldn't that make more sense and they go well ordinarily yeah but this is stupid you see in a stupid movie everyone's stupid the mother is stupid the people that made it are stupid but none of them are as stupid as you cuz it is now 501 and you still think this is going to get better so now I mean and look

at him in his head he's like I am destroying UNC Carson with plans to kill these people that the CIA couldn't figure out I've caught fish they're not that brilliant they don't even make any noise when you're about to kill them you ever see a f come up on a hook like they had any brains they make noise you wouldn't be able to kill them they be going you have to go whoa start the boat I'll get a burger at the duck did you see what just took place over there so now comes a turning

point in your life if you don't turn off the movie now just do the world a favor and when the credits roll get a v to me the mother gets on a plane to get a away from the shark but before she goes has an affair with Michael Kane typical reaction to this kind of tragedy that's what I would do most people would say GE three people in my family been eaten by a shark in one week jeez am I horny man I don't know I don't my goodness oh oh the tragedy the Bloodshed stop

me I'm vibrating there's a blowup doll when you need one who I mean so now get this here's the crescendo the mother gets on a plane in Long Island New York to get away from the shark flies to the Bahamas are you with me here an ideal place to avoid a fish small surrounded by water when she gets there guess what not only has the shark discovered that they have travel plans to go to the Bahamas but to boot he has beat the jet to the baham they land there he is couple of beers Ray

bands and you're going but wait a minute that was a jet wouldn't a jet be faster than the shark and they go well ordinarily but again this is stupid you see in a stupid movie shark is the fastest Transportation available see if you're going to London from New York let's say right tear up them Concord tickets get the next fish out of town oh they played him off interesting yeah well he they were probably told that's his last line yeah get the next fish out of town yeah that came in hot with the music yeah

yeah I saw him at uh catch Rising Star when I was an open micer I went went to see him I sat in the front row it was amazing cuz it was like a half filed crowd it was like yeah like a Wednesday night show yeah catch Rousy star in Cambridge still the best way to see standup comedy yeah is in a dead club right that brings up the best every I've been when I was getting ready for this tour mon now I was at the seller a bunch and like I usually that's where I

usually build this stuff and um I was struggling a lot of sets cuz the seller has become very um trendy there's a lot of cooler people that go there like nicely dressed young people go to the seller it's a scene now so it's not automatic that they're going to get it's not it's like a weird thing and it's actually good I think in a sense cuz you got to fight for your laughs a little more than we used to but uh but I've been I've done some shows this year were like I'm struggling I'm like

every bit is pissing them off and not for like PC reasons but just cuz they're not trained comedy audiences and they're like ew it's more that old thing remember before like um that's problematic there was just ew right so it's like that again and I'm just struggling but I got not nowhere to go all my [ __ ] is in this set is kind of nasty so I'm just getting through it but I there's out of the 100 people at the sell is about 20 of them who are [ __ ] having the best time

of their lives like they're laughing so hard because not only are they seeing jokes that they like they like my jokes they're getting to watch people get really offended and they're getting to watch me squirm like every time i' do a joke and it would kind of get this uh then I'd go like Fu you'd see me go [ __ ] and I'd hear people go like [ __ ] this is the like high fiving like this is the best night so much better than seeing your favorite comic in in a theater where everybody loves

him I don't know if it's so much better but it's definitely different it's just there's more friction to it so there's more there's more going on one of the uh when I was like early days like open micer me and Fitz Simmons saw Bill Hicks bomb at ni comedy stop most of the times that's what he did and and clear the [ __ ] room but at the end of his set there was 50 people left like what does Nicks hold like 300 plus people it was big about 300 something like that so uh at

the end set there's 50 people left in the audience and maybe 20 comedians and Fitz Simmons and I are just [ __ ] howling we're howling we we we thought it was so funny and it was so funny that he was clearing the room and he went on after Larry Norton do you remember Larry Norton comic on Harley Harley yes yes I'm Larry Norton I'm a comic on Harley that's it so Larry Norton killed and then Hicks went on after him and you know hick you know it's [ __ ] existential angst and smoking cigarettes

and you know cancer and this and that and then uh the audience is just [ __ ] leaving and so he's doing I don't know if you remember that bit that he does about uh I think it's like the devil [ __ ] John Davidson in the ass yes and de and uh Debbie Gibson or no that was Jimmy Hendrick [ __ ] Debbie Gibson with his guitar that was that you wanted rock and roll didn't you Debbie you know no you know yeah that was a different one but so he's doing this bit where

John Davidson is [ __ ] out the devil's kid that's where remember that squatting and he's like and he looks up and he goes yeah this generally clears a room and the people are just getting up in [ __ ] droves and we were howling we thought it was so funny yep we thought it was so funny it was just it was nice to see this guy who is so like respected but eating [ __ ] in front of a bunch of people that didn't know who was he ate [ __ ] a lot I

worked with him I opened for him at the San Francisco punch line and uh there was some nights where he was destroying just killing uh he did this whole thing about they should use terminally ill patients as stuntmen yes for Chuck Norris movies yeah he goes do you want your grandmother to die alone in a room of strangers with her with her veins fading into dust or do you want her to meet Chuck Norris and he'd do this thing of sending out like this person who's like half dead and then he just chck Norris just

kicks her head off just kicks it off and you go whoa you know but he was destroying some shows and then other shows just nothing just nothing wow just they didn't get it they didn't want to hear it he didn't have a gear to go to no and he didn't have uh um I mean I learned from it because I used to think you could make these jokes work for some of these people that don't like them you could just I just reach out a little bit it doesn't mean changing the jokes it just means

just giving it's just something in your eyes that says I look I know you're having a hard time but I I don't mean you any harm I just this is this is funny if you listen I swear to God just get you know get through he wasn't interested in making that bridge no he wasn't he wasn't he was a bit of a misanthrope yeah uh also very sweet guy in his way you know but uh yeah I never got the chance to talk to him yeah I liked him I only said hi to him once

Nick's comedy stop I don't think he noticed much about me but I worked with him a number of times yeah and I liked him I liked I lik listening to him I liked his act he also was a good comic like he made good noises with the microphone and stuff cuz he came from here he came from Texas and Sam and all those guys there was that this was a big scene yeah yeah this was the scene at one point in time yeah I mean you think Kennison and him both coming out of here pretty

wild and those guys were I mean kenerson was probably the most Revolution comedian of our lifetime in the 198 yeah there had never been anybody like him all of a sudden screaming I was married twice yeah hell would be like Clubman yes he was like what where did this come from totally different nobody like kind of Comedy I think Steve Martin was like that too in a totally different tone he was it was he was the one that excited me the most like I loved Cosby and prior and Carlin when I was a kid but

uh Steve Martin was the first woman where I went you're not even doing show business right what are you doing you're just being really weird and I love it and other people love it it's he was the guy who made me think maybe I could do this really yeah he first person person I watched that I thought there's other ways CU I wasn't a slick guy who can talk and then talk like this and then talk and you know and prior with just a part these skills were just swim around my head like I could

never do that especially as a kid you know yeah but when I saw him I was like that's how I talk with my friends that's how that's the kind of jokes I make and that's and the off no rhythm to it you know I'm so mad at my mother like just odd weird stuff you know he was so weird it's kind of a bummer that he stopped doing standup because it was so good and when you know back in those days like what was that like I guess early 80s uh killing it SE I thinks

mid to late '70s it was disco time he had a white suit which was kind of a disco thing so it was around the time of like Saturday Night Fever yeah there was this time when there's so many hits hit things back then there was Saturday Night Fever and all this is compressed in my head but jaws and Star Wars and Rocky MH and Steve Martin was the comedian of that time that's those were all the golden things that were like killing making tons of money everybody loved those things I remember reading that he had

decided at one point in time that the audiences liked him too much for being Steve Martin and then he would go out there and he couldn't get a gauge as to what was funny and what was not because they're just so happy to see him yeah he did Arenas yeah and they just people would just scream yeah and it wasn't the same anymore I mean it was a good discipline there I think there's truth to that I think there's definitely truth to that I mean I think it could be navigated but it's you're you're definitely

in some very tricky Waters like you can still do comedy and I think what we were talking about earlier what you do a lot by showing up at clubs so they don't know you're going to be there and just actually working out stuff yeah you really do get to figure out what's funny and what's not whereas there I know guys who have their own crowds who never perform in front of anyone but their crowd it's is diminishing returns it's just not going to be I mean you could do that and your crowd might appreciate it

you could do it but you you you get more out of [ __ ] around it's the only way to do it is to go on and do clubs and unannounced and start with zero jokes and you know struggle have a bunch of bad sets yeah get through even at the seller people when they recognize me they're happy to see me then I'm like well here comes new jokes sorry and they just within a because that evaporates yeah no one pretends to laugh at you no one will pretend to laugh at you so the first

couple of jokes they go what and I usually would try opening with stuff that's not this ain't going to get it this isn't going to work probably and get them to this level and I'm like okay here we are I don't want to be here but this is where you know it's like if you're in the gym yeah you don't go to the gym to have a good time right and you get into like I'm glad proud of myself I'm at the gym today yeah but you first moves you make you're like this [ __

] sucks yeah but so you you get through sh shitty 10 minutes of jokes and you maybe got one joke so you do that night after night till you get 10 20 and then after you get 20 minutes and you've done it a few times you if you have the discipline you stop doing those jokes and you start again with a new 20 yeah from nothing and this the way I us usually do it I end up with two 20 minute sets and then I start mixing them a little bit and then I start going

to stuff in the notebook that never worked and never should have worked or things I was too scared to try you know when you write something on your notes for a news comedy set but when you look at it you go I ain't doing that like I thought of it sounded good today yeah I'm not touching that I always have a set when I'm developing where I go you have to do a set that's only those now really only things that you just shouldn't be doing or things that have gotten silence it's like this is

the last chance for these bits tonight and no bits that have been getting laughs that's a rough set that's a rough set but if anything makes it out of it it's good that's a [ __ ] some of those bits have ended up being the best bit isn't that wild yeah the best always the best bits I have in a special like the ones that are like that just kills every time that started with silent hate it hate it it's wild it's such a wild process yeah the the beginning to the end when you write

do you sit in front of a computer like specifically trying to come up with material never did it really I never wrote jokes ever do you write ideas or do you write bullet points I have I write down like one word you know to one because I need to write on stage it doesn't if I write off stage it comes out writer mhm and then you're using it's like you're using your hand to write and then you're using your eyes to read it yeah and then it's coming out your mouth right so when I have

an idea you know that moment where you go oh it's a bit it's it's [ __ ] maddening but it comes when it comes you're in conversation or you're in the car or wherever yeah you go [ __ ] that's a bit about whatever about zoo lions yeah and I avoid thinking about it I don't want to work it out I just write down zoo lions and I know that it's in the ather I know the general feeling and I wait till I'm on stage that night and I explain it to them and the audience

is there as a Target yeah so I I tell I for the first time work it out and then it's like that that's the bit because I know I can't think straight as a comic unless I'm on stage did you develop this process over time have you always done it that way or did you initially try to write the jokes out first I never I could never do it I'm I was a bad student in school I didn't go to college I barely graduated high school because I can't do work like that I can't I

mean I learned to do it when I started working in TV and movies but WR scripts and stuff yeah yeah I can write when I have to but I have a huge a problem and whatever many D's and H's and all that [ __ ] so I would just do little set lists and that's the way I always did it I never wrote there's no written uh word of my ACT it's because your spoken your speech center when it generates the work that's where supposed to come from right it's a spoken word art and I

do a lot of work I record every set and I listen to them and I do now I work on paper by but it's kind of like research I listen to the set and I write notes like this last whole uh tour I had to do cuz I had to come up with the material a little quicker but I write notes about what worked what didn't what's innovating um that last set I was funny when I did this you know what I mean stuff like that and before uh if I take a break of of

three days or more before the day of the show I sit down and I write a set list even if it's identical to the last one I just I listen to the last show I did and I write down the tonight's order it's like the lineup for a baseball team yeah I always do that when I do Arenas I always I what I do is I get index cards and I'll actually write the bullet points for each bit and I lay them out on the coffee table in the green room I get there early and

I write all that stuff out because that way I'm good like my head I know I remember you got to load it in you got to you got to live be living it you got to be like it's got to be refreshed like I know I just did a set last night I'm ready to go it's not I'm not confident about it but I know that the right way to do it is to sit down and to write down on these index cards and to set them out and have all the punch lines cuz the

[ __ ] thing that drives me more nutty than anything is like when I forget a tag oh yeah yeah and then I leave and I'm like [ __ ] I forgot that part about the guy oh and then the LA the rest of the night doesn't matter like everybody's oh standing o asan great show no no no that tag is gone everything you're destroy destroyed they missed well it's cuz your brain like I remember my mom teach my mom was in computers when I was a kid she was a computer programmer like when they

were Punch Cards and stuff like from the beginning my stepdad did that too oh yeah yeah and then she had a terminal at home with a a big modem you the phone going wow and uh so she taught me about computers and the thing I always remembered was that there's um main memory and then there's auxiliary memory so auxiliary memory I might be getting the words wrong is stuff that's on tape MH that's stored and Main memory is the it's like Ram right it's the working buzzing loaded into the hopper what you've got working and

then you have stuff on tape and you can access it anytime you want Oh remember this remember this remember this but your set from the times you've been doing it over and over again it's kind of in on tape and when you're on stage your brain goes and accesses it but doing like the cards before it loads it into the ram it loads it into the into the present moment because especially when you're doing big things like an arena um you get adrenaline and you start thinking about the size and then that's nowhere that's there's

no help there it's all negative shouldn't be thinking about any of that at all the thing you should be thinking you shouldn't be thinking about what do I need and all this bravado stuff of like I'm going to be a star or like I'm going to kill that's the wor death death the only thing you should be thinking about is cows you're talking about cows you shouldn't even be thinking this is my bit about these cows and here's what's gotten a laugh before should be thinking about here's how I feel about cows yeah you should

be in the feeling my favorite shows are when I feel very present yeah and sometimes they're cuz I studied but sometimes they're because I haven't been on stage in a long time and I'm having a remember and I go yeah [ __ ] and I get the the feelings get a little more real yeah there's also a little sometimes when I do too much standup I lose a touch of enthusiasm and sometimes it's actually good to take a day or two off and then I jump back in and then I'm kind of excited and yes

that's why this like I'm doing tonight the what do you call it the Moody the Moody Theater in Austin and then tomorrow again and then San Antonio and I just did New Orleans and mobile it's five nights which is a lot for me and then I go up to Baltimore and DC but then I take two nights off before the garden and that's pretty decent amount in two nights yes that's perfect so you'll be juicy when you I won think about my set at all for two days really yeah and then and I'll work out

and exercise I kind of train for this stuff MH because my feeling is the show has to be great that's my responsibility you if you're not in shape then the show is as good as your luck right if you have a good crowd you'll have a good show and if it's just a good night and things line up right you'll have a good show but you if you leave it up to that you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] if you're in shape and you have wind and you're you know your mind gets clearer

when you're in better shape and try not to eat sugar and stuff then if the no matter what the show is going to be great if the crowd sucks I'm just gonna have to work a lot harder I'm I'm not let it's not up to them how good this show is it's just I'm going to have to put in a lot more [ __ ] effort so I need to be healthy enough that when they suck I'm I'm great and that when they're great it's out of the out of the park it's completely tell me

about this back in the day where you used to run you used to like run like you're training for a fight yeah I do that's what I'm doing right now yeah yeah I was on the steps machine for an hour and I try I train for however long I try to do the steps machine for how long the set is I'm doing oh wow and I watch uh Ali Frasier fights or no [ __ ] yeah I watch 15 round old fights and I pick a guy that I'm him and I with the level of

the machine I follow his effort oh wow so when Ali's back is on the ropes I go down to five a little bit and then when he comes off the ropes I go to six and when he starts firing away I go to eight and I go up and down a lot and it's very good for your heart you know it's very good for anxiety there's a thing yeah there's a thing about exercise before any big event it I think it burns off all the residual ancillary unnecessary stress cuz there's like a certain amount of

stress that I think people just naturally carry in their bodies and if you don't exercise you're going to have a certain amount of tension and a little weirdness that it's Just Energy because your body's designed to run away from [ __ ] saber-tooth tigers and fight off villagers that's what's that's the the body that we're dealing with today is the same body that people had 10 15,000 years ago that's what I think what's special about humans is that some of us try that extra step in other words every animal has that if there's trouble get

the [ __ ] away mhm you know they have a calculation in their heads who can I take and who can't I you know so they sometimes there's a confrontation I'm this guy's a match for me so I'm going to you know like two bears fighting yeah so they have that thing but humans go like if I try to hang in there or if I hide or if I you know I might be able to get something out of this like it's worth doing something dangerous it's worth going not it's worth resisting fighter flight because

if I'm still hanging around after the the the flash point moment is over I might be able to do something that somebody else couldn't do that's a very human thing is to think past the fight ORF flight moment and also being able to like not confront somebody like your the guy in the in in the cafeteria like do I need to right fight or flight is there something else that's I think particularly human it's like can I just I mean maybe there's gorillas to do it I have no idea um or probably not probably I

don't know no it's probably a human thing yeah it's just going like I could fight I could flight he looks like he wants to fight but if I just wait a few extra seconds and let and keep my if I can discipline my heart rate and not listen to the reptile and just cool off I might be able to get something out of this I think that's what helps me on stage because there's a fight ORF flight moment when I do you know an abortion joke or something and everyone's just upset that I brought it

up and I'm like it's all right yeah I've seen this that comes from experience I've seen this I know there's a moment past this that's that's and the payoff is extra sweet it's huge because nobody does it right I mean a lot of people do it but it's rarer it's rare and and then when you do get that that juicy payoff like yes it's so much better than something that's like easy to get to yes yeah which has its own charm yeah there's nothing wrong with a good easy joke I enjoy all kinds of jokes

so do I Jim gaffan is one of my favor guys cuz he just keeps he keeps coming he's got this constant flow and in in a b huge left but he walks past it he's one of my favorites he's great you know and such an interest no one else has quite that that that talking and talking yeah you know very different Brian Regan's another killer clean guy but it's all it's punchier you know it's a whole other thing but it's not better ever noticed there's a misnomer about or whatever you want to call it about

dirty comedy being easy I don't buy that I don't buy it when comedians say like clean comedians or comedians that are purist say um well that's an easy laugh because it's about dicks and I always want to say go well you do it yeah go up and get the easy laughs with the dirty [ __ ] it's not there's no such thing as an easy laugh yeah there's none it's not Joey Diaz used to do this bit about what he called doing the pigeon and he goes That's when you're eating a girl's monkey from behind

you stick your nose in her [ __ ] like like a [ __ ] pigeon and somebody who said that about it like oh God why is he talking about I go you you think that's easy to do do you know how hard it is to be that person to go on stage and talk about stuffing his nose in a girl's [ __ ] when you're eating her [ __ ] from behind and also it's just another subject and it's a it's a pungent subject cuz sex is a pungent and people it excites people and

it scares people what people don't like about dirty jokes they're really hard to follow with clean jokes if you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] and you're not paying attention yes cuz anybody who's killing this Comics are so stupid that they think I can't follow that when somebody's killing you're if you have your head on straight you're going to have a great time yeah because the audience is primed they're excited they're having a good time and they don't think like hm this guy it they're not thinking in your stupid insecure brain like huh I

bet this guy's not as good they're just thinking hey another guy right and if you're doing something very different they're like cool here's another way to right like they're I learned that because I was the same I was scared of certain guys I worked with a guy named John uh something SS John SS maybe he was a Connecticut comedian there's certain like comedians that were like Connecticut guys yeah weird guys yeah and he was he opened it was the Nanuet holiday in this is the 90s when comedy had just just fallen out remember all the

clubs catch closed the Improv closed yep and I was had been in it too long to quit and now was doing like $10000 gigs out of town so I was at the Nanuet for a whole week like Wednesday through Sunday with Tom SS Tom SS nice guy too I liked him and his closing bit he was opening for me and he would just annihilate and his closing bit was he had a banjo and he would do Dueling Banjos so he had a hat on that was like a helicopter with hooks that he put a cow

on like a stuffed cow and he'd go d d ding D Ding and on the tape it would goo and then he'd put then he'd move the thing and put on a cat y y y and so each animal and at the end he's spinning the thing is spinning on his head and he's playing and and all the animals are you know and people are going you see them like so excited and at the end he'd play a big finish and he'd raise his leg and on the tape was a big a big fart made

no sense big fart at the end and the people would get up just St up an applaud and I think Keith Robinson was mcing for me he's opening for me at MSG now I mean on the 20th Keith was like you want me to do like some time to and I'm like bring me right up because I started it was the first time I watched a guy really just go for it like that and I thought it's beautiful I loved it and there's joy in it and the audience is so happy so I started telling

him bring me right up give no pause and he he barely people would barely hear him introduce me and I'd be out to people going oh oh God just like dying and I'd just look at them and I had great sets after Tom Mars you rode the wave I did yeah that's what people have to realize to just ride the wave but the comics tend to think of things a lot of comics are narcissists and they think of themselves more than they think of anything else and they also so they they have a famine mentality

what's that famine mentality means there's only enough for one person like there's not enough for everybody thought it's a weird way to think of the world it's terrible way to think of the world it's so wrong and it's so self-serving and it's so it's uh it's a self-fulfilling prophecy like if you really do believe that there's only so much out there you'll you'll act as if and you'll give up you know yeah and you'll you'll you'll start to alienate people around you cuz people know that you're really just thinking about yourself you know you get

real weird and then people get weird around you they don't feel comfortable you know when you're happy for people like genuinely happy for people better things happen like everybody feels good no I always tell comics when you're watching the guy in before you and you're thinking what a piece if you [ __ ] on a comic to the person next to you you're going to bomb I've seen that happen a million times somebody's on stage the guy next to me is going God I hate I hate this I hate when he says this and yeah

then they go on they have a shitty cuz you're angry yeah it's last thing you should be thinking about you know and also some comedians you know a lot of us are frustrated we wish we were like rock stars so you know we want to look cool up there but nobody wants you to look cool nobody wants you to look cool they just want to laugh yeah but the looking cool thing is because you don't want to feel like a piece of [ __ ] and you do so you decide I want to look cool

so that way I won't be a piece of [ __ ] yeah and then you go up there and you just ruin the vibe yeah yeah it's so complicated there's so much going on with comedy yeah there's so much going on with with every phrase and everything you say it's really like Mass hypnosis that's really what's going on yeah there are some some I've kind of gotten uh realized in the last few years because I'm been deep now 38 years into it um and there's like you get another it's like Scientology when they tell you

about the aliens you know you got to get really deep in yeah you start to go oh there's [ __ ] about standup I didn't know and one of them is that there's some automatic laughs that you're getting and you got to be careful with that right just timing laughs yeah you're just getting some laughs cuz you know like tags a lot of tags are just like all you're doing is spending that dollar again and they'll laugh for you and also they're nice people yeah the comedy audience automatically is a pretty nice person they have

fun well and also they they came to sit and in this day and age of like staring into it they they put their phone down for the most part and they sit with strangers like shoulder-to-shoulder and they listen to a [ __ ] person you know for sometimes two hours they're just listening it's a very giving you know people that can't there's people that can't do that like sit in an comedy audience they're constantly you know like people you see leaving their table constantly um and some people like I they just not built for it

but it takes a very patient and giving person so they'll laugh and and I think about this when I do [ __ ] that's really [ __ ] up and I get some laughs but I look at them and I go you didn't want to laugh at that but you did it for me you did it for me and especially if they're your fans yeah but also like I have uh my my ex-girlfriend who's my dear friend she's a comedian in France her name is Blan shardan she's a hilarious comedian she's a huge star in

France she's like the biggest star there and I used to go see her do shows I saw her about 10 times in French and I would sit in the audience and watch her and I'd laugh really hard and I don't know anything that she's saying oh and I'm not fake laughing I'm just it's hypnosis I start getting into she she's got a rhythm and she's got she's really good at it and so there's ways that she's doing stuff and then then she's building it and I'm just find myself laughing with the people also because they're

laughing but also I just I um was honestly laughing really hard at something I didn't know what they were saying so I know that there's a Armature under the jokes mhm that's just a it's a trick it's a bit of a trick there's definitely that but there's also if you are genuinely having a good time and you're genuinely locked into these ideas like you are not thinking about anything else you're thinking about those ideas and that makes its way into other people's minds yeah when you when you do when that's to me the goal every

show to break out of the Rhythm and try to be saying the stuff and really feeling it yeah you have to be actually thinking about it in the moment when you're not they can tell yes they can in some weird way they can tell it's a weird thing about what an audience can but sometimes you think they can you you you think there's stuff going on on stage it's not going on right yeah it's because it's in your head it's in your head and you're in a very weird place yeah on stage it's like being

a pilot in 20 GS it's like your brain's not working properly you're being a pilot but you're also a passenger too cuz you're kind of like riding this thing yeah you like you want to steer it but you're also kind of riding it you're in it with them at the best is you're in it with them you're you're like right yeah and uh you know it is a mass hypnosis I really I really think it is and I think it's very difficult to trick people on stage I think you could trick people for a little

while but after a while they kind of figure out who you really are yeah well it's like pitching I think a comedy like pitching a lot they'll time your fast ball after a while they see it like you know when there's a new Phenom that that that gets put in a game and he strikes everybody out but by the sixth inning they've all been up twice they just start killing the ball that's most Comics they figure out how to pitch and but after a while the audience goes I am I don't know you're doing but

if you can be like what's his name L du in the Yankees like many arm angles not sure where it's coming from and a little I I think of some jokes as brushback pitches some stuff where they just go what the [ __ ] was that right and there's no and some of those jokes you don't come back and fix them you just let them be upset and you go yeah I'll do that just watch it yeah I'll [ __ ] do that I'm not even that wasn't even to make you laugh right you not

know what I'm going to do so don't dig in too too easy right right right they're off balance you can get them different ways you yeah we talked about uh you you at one point in time thought about opening up a comedy club yeah CU you're opening one here yeah you thought about it when uh I thought about it when I saw the Babe Ruth movie with John Goodman did you ever see that movie no played Babe Ruth and I don't know how much truth there is in it but he wanted to manage a ball

team and uh he John Goodman was such a good actor and he does this moment where he says I just want to I love the guys I want to take care of the guys I want to be the guy who looks after them and and you know trains them and te you know and makes sure they're okay because he just loved ball players I thought I watched him do that and I thought that's how I feel about comedy I'd like to have a club and start like be the place where new guys come in and

yeah and new new people and watching them and encouraging awkward comedians that aren't easy laughers you know right and uh and and being a place and bringing in great Veterans for them to learn from and you know what I mean and feeding and and cultivating an audience I watched a lot of guys do that like Manny and the seller and Luci and Holden the comic strip these I some of my best friends were comedy club Owners um guys I respected so much work you know guys that ran clubs so I thought that would be really

cool but it's a very I mean opening a [ __ ] business is horrible yeah I don't want to do that now yeah I don't want to either but I'm stuck yeah started doing it are you anxious about it uh surprisingly not that anxious no yeah I have a an unusual ability to handle a lot of stress like just I just kind of like settle in whatever that is I know I go okay this is what we're doing I can I cannot freak out and so this is U not that stressful because I got really

good people here you know I brought uh Curtis Nelson and Adam egot and uh you know Eric from The Comedy Store all these people from The Comedy Store uh carry to run the bar like I brought the best people that were at The Comedy Store and I just because it was during the pandemic nobody was working right I said hey this is what I'm going to do do you guys want to work for me and so like for the last year and a half they've been actually like working for free like where theyve been getting

they've been getting paid but they haven't working they're not working they've just been waiting to work just holding them right but I kept giving them their full salary right I just said this is not your problem you know we had an initial venue that fell apart so we had to buy a second venue and the second venue required considerable construction so I said listen okay we're going to have fun so let's just do this the right way and I want everybody to be comfortable right and now we're less than a month away that's amazing it's

pretty exciting and it's really good like the inside looks [ __ ] incredible and the scene here is already amazing I mean we went I did the Vulcan last night and then after I did a set there I went over to the creek in the cave and then there's other rooms in town too and guys are hopping back and forth from room to room and doing two three sets a night it's really exciting and there's really good Comics here really good like up and coming people and you know Tom seura moved here Duncan Trussell moved

here Tim Dylan lives here now there's Christina pizitz there's like a lot of really good Comics Tony henchcliffe yeah so like we're doing these show Ron White is here yeah yeah saw to see me at the creek in the cave last night he's one of my favorites he's the best he's the Godfather of this town so when you know we're doing these shows we're doing shows like you know Shane gills comes into town all the time and AR's here all the time so we're having so much it's it's really an amazing scene right now and

it's exciting cuz it's new and all these young people that come here and they do kill Tony you know the that that show and so that that gives him a chance to maybe get one minute and do it in front of hundreds of thousands of people on YouTube so there's like this energy to this town that's happening now with standup that's really exciting because it's a completely new scene it's great well like you said you can't you can't practice it at home it's the only way to learn it right so I always feel responsibility in

that sense that if you love stand up you got to you got to encourage other people I bring people on the road with me who I think need exposure to higher pressure and stuff and yeah and uh and to help them learn and also to to to tap my head and I spend the whole time talking to them and answering stuff and stuff like that and and when I'm at the seller I try to I like mentoring I like being a bit of a teacher you know yeah so but we have to because there's no

school for it and there's no which is wild yeah there never will be I don't think that anybody will ever properly you can't really teach standup it comes from the from the heart or the balls or the [ __ ] or wherever comes from well how do you do it do you do it like Steve Martin or do you do it like Steven Wright or do you do it like Patrice O'Neal like you can't teach that no you can teach like certain principles and you can kind of Coach people in whatever their individual style is

and sort of giving them some tips like maybe if you did it this way or here's the problem with that or you're taking too much time with this and econom there's obvious mistakes people make and you can help help them by giving them that going like you know you don't need to be doing that yeah that's a big giant waste of time or that's really one thing I've told a few guys uh and women that work for me is uh don't stop laughing you're just nervous that's just [ __ ] you know little nervous laughter

right right it just looks dumb and it's just do the joke and if it that nervous laughter is because you said something that's kind of tough to sell [ __ ] stand there and sell it or just say that's that's the joke like Adrian uh uh palucha opens for me a lot she's hilarious very funny and she's really hard to take for a lot of for my crowd who are there to be offended what I love doing whenever Adrian's on stage I'm right behind her behind the curtain and I'm standing there where I can really

hear because she does these jokes and people go oh like she does this thing about how um Jeffrey how white wh about racism and and um white women are the worst and that we don't have enough serial killers because that they always kill white women and it boils down to it turn when you think about it Jeffrey dmer did more for black people than Martin Luther King because he killed white women and uh but he didn't What Jeffrey dmer didn't kill white oh I don't no no not not Ted Bundy yeah I'm [ __ ]

up her bit I'm destroying her bit anyway it's a hilarious bit but any audience goes like Jesus and I love hearing them cuz she's really loosening the she's really [ __ ] you know doing deep knee bends getting them getting them warmed up um but she used to kind of nervously laugh after certain Jokes which showed a little insecurity on her part like maybe I shouldn't be saying this and I told her just do the [ __ ] joke and stand there like that's it I that's what I said yeah that's what I said and

some the early jokes people were having a hitch with it but after they see that confidence in you and they go I guess she doesn't give a [ __ ] I guess she really means it and they start to come around yeah you know um that's my favorite thing is how do Comics that don't belong up there get good at it they that's where great comedy comes from is somebody who's not a ham and who's not even into performing much or you know but they just want to do this one thing those are the where

some of the better Comics come from I think and then they figure it out and it's so exciting to watch them figure it out it's so exciting to watch someone go from being like he used to be like guys who are like a door man at the comedy store and then you see him six seven years later and you haven't seen him for a while and all they're killing and they've got interesting points and they've got great bits yeah it's great to watch it's a fun art form man it's still my favorite thing to watch

at after all these years I still enjoy and I didn't for a while in the beginning in the beginning I didn't because of like jealousy and insecurity like I didn't want like if someone else was killing like God I wish I thought of that God I wish I was killing like it was like a weird thing where I was too wrapped up in trying to get somewhere in comedy that I didn't enjoy it anymore right and then I realized like hey stupid like this you got into comedy cuz you love watching it like why would

you not still love watching it are you going to give up loving watching it cuz you like to do it that's so stupid yeah I have written all over my notebook this year um don't forget to love it it's like I wrote it across the bottom of the page of like all the pages one day and on an airplane oh yeah so as I'm writing notes it's just there yeah cuz you do forget it's work and it's hard yeah and whatever you do for living becomes a hassle mhm but you got to love it you

know whatever you do in life becomes a hassle one thing that I always tell people is like the one thing that you think about the most when you're sick is God I wish I was healthy yeah when you're when you're healthy it just seems normal it just is what it is but when you get sick you're like oh God this sucks I can't wait to get healthy but you when you're [ __ ] healthy you've got to like do whatever you can to preserve that and recognize that there's a possibility that you could get sick

appreciate the [ __ ] out of being healthy well and then with work though with comedy I feel like there's this other side of the other side of the Spectrum which is that you should be willing to be very uncomfortable and very unhappy to do it right because that's love that's real love but you're doing it is my point if you if it took it away from you like Co when we couldn't do stand up well then that's you being sick that's what I'm saying I mean it's like not that it should always be the

most fun thing to do the most cuz exercise [ __ ] blows like being healthy like sitting in a [ __ ] sauna for 25 minutes at 190° and cold plunges and all the [ __ ] that I do it sucks I don't like doing it but I'm doing because being healthy is far superior to being sick but you forget you forget sometimes well but also it can be a really uh it can be um a bummer to be healthy it can be how so well I've had streaks where I'm like I'm doing it all

right you know and I'm not doing things that I know make me feel like [ __ ] like eating a bunch of pizza that's just going to flood me with sugar and slow me down and give me a headache Y and give me a depression that I end up curing with a cigarette and then I can't move even more and then I eat more and it's a terrible thing yep and like 2 weeks later I come out of like a dungeon like I got to stop like I can't believe I just wasted all that time

right but when I'm like I'm doing it all right I'm eating well [ __ ] salmon with brown rice a little bit of vegetables you know or whatever and uh drinking water with lemon and staying away from you know drinks no alcohol right sleep without any help all those good things you know there's a dryness to that like I just after a while I just get cranky I just feel like I want to indulge and just yeah get some sugar in you yeah moderation feeling like [ __ ] has its good points you know Indulgence

has its good points yeah when you feel like you like what the [ __ ] did I do that for it there's a when you hit the bottom there's a comfort in that it's a bed the the bottom is like a bed do you know what I mean I mean not like alcoholics and drug addicts I don't know what it's like for them but in my little self abuses every now and then getting off the rails you just got it yeah no I like it I like doing that too but I stay healthy that's good

but I I do go off I mean I will eat pizza and [ __ ] spaghetti and ice cream I'll go crazy this is the best thing in the world but then I just self correct I go okay you know and I feel so bad when it's over when I eat like a giant like a a [ __ ] big Italian sub and a like a [ __ ] 32 o cocacola I feel like hot dog [ __ ] an hour and a half no and then ice cream which is my favorite thing I'm just

I'm just [ __ ] it's just shitzville and I'm it's burning hot shits for like a week I pay hard for ice cream so I don't do it often but there is I don't know I don't think it'll ever not be I I still stay in shape and some discipline for a standup and I've got this this thing at the Garden like to me that's like the big fight of my life that's the championship fight but when that's over and I take a year off I do part of me thinks I might just Brando out

I might get really [ __ ] big I don't know you might do a reverse Bobby Kelly yeah I don't know I don't know I hope not sometimes I'm able to be more healthy when I'm not performing because I go up state more yeah and I get I make my trail and I you know I do my yeah that's better exercise than a gym anyway you know I think it's important to be healthy but I also think it's important to enjoy yourself and I think you know there's something about food pleasure mouth pleasure from you

know eating a big [ __ ] bowl of rigatoni it's great it tastes great it just you got to know what's happening like I like drinking I do I enjoy drinking I like like [ __ ] tipping a few back with my friends cheers everyone cheers I like doing a shot before I go on stage I enjoy it yeah but I I know what I'm doing I know when it comes in the morning I'm going to do everything I can to counteract that yeah sure I do everything I can with vitamins I take IV vitamins

and drips and I do all kinds of [ __ ] but I keep it working right but I also use my body in a different way like you know because of Jiu-Jitsu and martial arts I'm I'm it's a vehicle for me I'm using it well we live weird lives too because most people can't when we say things like it's important to be healthy but it's important to enjoy your most people even can't have that conversation right like most of the population is just [ __ ] grinding they're just dragging their bodies across broken glass and

trying to like hand off just enough to their kids and then [ __ ] collapse in a heap of cancer yeah they're just they're just trying to pay the bills just stay one step ahead of the the gravedigger or only two and a half steps behind yeah that's how most people live like I was talking to my blanch my French pal and I said life is Zero Sum game it's something I believe is it's a zero some game effort you put in and it comes back but you you end up at zero right she said

for a lot of people life is about a negative 500 some game yeah and it's true some people everything they can possibly do they end up so [ __ ] yeah just [ __ ] for good and it's just life is [ __ ] uh and because of that you have this attitude that life is [ __ ] so then that's a self-fulfilling prophecy I I guess I mean negative attitude there's not much room for that kind of [ __ ] though for in most people's lives but in America compared to everybody else we we're

really doing great yeah so we can have these long conversations about what's the right way to think and what's you know what's the right way to live and all these many many Boutique things of here's how to feel better yeah because we're just kind of sitting around we're just consumers we're just consumers of the rest of the world so I was watching this video where these guys were talking about Lex fredman and Andrew huberman were talking about uh saunas and cold plunges and stuff like that and like the benefits of it they're just they're two

scientists they're talking about the the the provable benefits heat shock proteins cold shock proteins then I'm reading the comments where some guy was like yeah well you you guys aren't talking about is how much it costs to buy a sauna you're making it seem like it's all free and like like what are you supposed to do like you every [ __ ] thing like I'm sorry if you're broke oh no you have the conversation for people that can live that way well I mean not just but it's not an it's not impossible to achieve we're

not talking about buying a [ __ ] Lamborghini but I'm not saying that there's something wrong with talking about that stuff because other people can't afford it that's not at all what I'm saying what I'm saying is that it's actually part of why people are miserable is because they're actually it's a ridiculous conversation it's a ridic it's not like the way the the earth and the experience of like competing for food and oxygen and living in on Earth you know and living in society and just being a person we've got to some altitude here where

we're having some stupid conversations that are just you know should I do a cold plunge or of sauna like what the [ __ ] is that it's not that like it's not you should be ashamed because people can't afford it I feel sorry for the guy in that conversation it's like it's a ridiculous trying to find just the right balance because there's nothing really challenging you cuz you're not you don't have any real problems and you're not you're not on the earth you're not standing on the earth anymore you're in a b in a bubble

where you sort of like maybe I'll try this and maybe I'll just do protein now and I'll do you know what I mean it's and you'll never find the balance because life does that's not a normal life that's not organic living that's not living like a human being you know you don't have a choice cuz I mean you poor have a physical body and if you have a physical body there's things that are beneficial to your physical body and if you choose to do those things you'll have a better body it'll work better and if

you choose not to do those things because you think they're ridiculous or do you think like that's not organic living that's not life this is this is not life it is life it's life and people have invented shoes the reason why they invented shoes is because rocks will cut your feet yeah so they figured out shoes shoes are better than no shoes right getting in a sauna and getting in a cal Pune is better for the physical body than not doing it it's the same thing lifting weights is better than not lifting weights cuz then

you develop a strong body and don't L your bone all these things are a part of life you can just decide they're not or they part of life when you're when you've removed yourself from the food chain and from real life they become part of life well if you're not getting eaten by tigers yes that's right yeah but like we already figured that out so like as we move to becoming a multiplanetary species that's what I'm saying there's a lot of things that you're going to figure out well and also our Predator now is each

other so it's it's now that's we're not anymore about other animals we're about killing each other and when you are when you are about other animals you do that's when you realize you've really [ __ ] up like we already sorted this out and here I am getting eaten by a tiger you're a [ __ ] idiot yes you're a [ __ ] idiot if you're a human being being eaten by time if you're a guy from Connecticut you're getting eaten by hyenas you've made a giant mistake that's right yeah but I don't know I

I think part of it is just being an old guy that I think like you get you see certain signs that the game is over because people are starting to talk about such abstract forms of life and and I can see that none of it satisfies anybody abstract forms of life househ abstract things like like having your body at the right temperature and and and talking about different substances going in and out and and ways to you know and turning on oxygen to try to enjoy it more it's just to try to enjoy it more

yes it is but you won't ever get to what is fulfilling about life I don't think through that stuff that's not true you you're when you do those things your body is more relaxed it works better better sure and you feel better sure it does with me when I if I understand yeah yeah when I do cold punches and I get out you know what raises your dopamine 200% it lasts for multiple hours you feel better you really feel better I don't even know what I'm saying I just feel a thing about this I know

what you're saying I feel a thing about this there's also a thing the last thing I'm doing is putting it down from like oh look you're so lucky you can have that's not what I mean no no no but you're kind of dismissing it as being at the end of the day it's all [ __ ] [ __ ] anyway kind of it's just that it's just is true I think that the most uh I don't know there's a form of life it's a weird thing because you're not supposed to be happy and you're not

supposed to be safe I think that that's the problem is that people expect that and it's not a good way to you're not happy when you're safe you're not happy when you're happy when you're when you're secure um you know like people I was really listening to something about the Border you know these these people just trying to come into America and some people are like well if we let just a few in it's a mess like there's no good answer you know what if we just let the ones in who are really upset yeah

or but we can't let them all in like when liberals try to say it's like the dumbest position they get into it's like well we can't no we can't keep let him in here got to keep him out but we really like him and it's great that they're brown and sorry but you know there's like an imposs and then the and then the right takes over and they sound racist and then the left takes over they just sound stupid but my feeling is they should open it the border and let them pour let everybody pour

in and and then the answer which is well then there will be all these problems yes there should be it shouldn't be so great here is what I'm saying in America it shouldn't be it's a weird thing to sequester a certain group of people and try to keep upping their lifespan and their lifestyle and just keep trying to increase that for this group group of people and then everyone's and then this pressure of people trying to come in so they can enjoy it uh and then it gets worse and worse down here I mean I'm

not Canada it's really just from down here uh there's something wrong with that that's not a system that's working and it forces people to do cruel things to other people there's a lot of people that die so Americans can be safe they're just dying you know weddings that are drone bombed in Yemen cuz the guy said something that might have resulted in American insecurity not even like definite American deaths but like just so we can breath a little easier folks die and folks do labor in unsafe places so that we can keep the prices where

we like them there's so much about American life that other people pay for that's part of it but also it's not good for us either it's not a good way to live in a gated community you know if if you let folks pour in like any other wave it'll kind of slash and then you'll just things will be different I I don't know like there what'll really happen a bunch of people like well they just come with knives and start killing everybody I don't think so I don't know what'll happen but it's just weird to

me I mean I lived in Mexico when I was a kid my dad's Mexican and I remember I I my first coaching thoughts were in Mexico and then I came to America I you lived in Mexico pre- cartels it's a different world now yeah but it was Mexico in the 70s it was pretty gnarly smelly place but I'm sure I mean it was Mexico City it was beautiful also it was a city before America had anything it's this very old European kind of place you know Mexico it's beautiful country and and uh it's got a

lot more depth to it than anybody knows here and we're not really sharing with them because they're kind of like the other guys because we're afraid of how many of them are dying to come here to work for us for very little like this thing I don't know I I don't know this is [ __ ] I don't know about but the feeling I get is that the more this American Security this feeling of like you know there's more oxygen in the air there's more it's not good in the end for everybody somehow well it's

it's certainly not balanced right you look at the top 1% of uh the world is $34,000 a year yeah if you make $34,000 a year you're in the top 1% of the world you're basically living in like lower income America is the top 1% of the world which is crazy it is and so like why is that well corrupt governments lack of Freedom lack of democracy but also exploitation from American businesses where they go over there and they start sweat chops and you know I mean one of the the greatest ironies is people complaining about

social justice issues on an iPhone which is made by slaves oh yeah it's a horrible it's a horrible thing I had uh sadar Cara on the podcast he's a journalist that traveled to the Congo to watch them mine Cobalt and like snuck into these Cobalt mines and he he wrote this uh is it called Cobalt red is that what it's called it's out uh a new it's out at the end of this month it's not even oh what they do to get the it's [ __ ] horrific yeah I mean horrific it's all it's all

slaves it's slaves it's women who are 19 years old with uh Cobalt red how the blood of the Congo Powers our lives and that's some of what goes into like electric cars and stuff too right Cobalt yeah it it's goes with lithium ion batteries it stabilizes them so um you know there's all sorts of [ __ ] that has to that's a calt m this the thing is that in we look at these wide shots of just like clogs of people that's how most human beings live and uh well this is particularly egregious but this

and this what are they they're they're making iPhones in there first of all look at that dude right there the one with the tan shirt yeah yeah that dude's jacked if I was that guy I'd be like hey buddy do you not how to wrestle like come here you want to make some money yeah like look at the size of that [ __ ] that guy's got Superior genetics this is some guy this is some guy he's he could live in Cincinnati right he could work at UH at the Avis in the at the airport

in uh St Louis or be a UFC champion yeah or but he's in this huge pile of people so that we can have phones the new phone yeah it is it's a it's a crazy amount of it's a it's so lopsided so lopsided and then our lives become more and more pointless until people are like should we just give Americans money you know like Andrew Yang's idea let's just give him money and they don't have to do anything yeah just [ __ ] like what are we doing what the [ __ ] the point of

life used to be don't die that used to be the point of life don't die pass on your your sperm or whatever but and then somewhere in the margins you'd be like this feels good you know like At a next to a fire and you just almost died but you you you cooked the thing that tried to kill you and you're eating it and you go all right I feel good this feels nice and you get to enjoy the the stars in the sky you know there was something to that but this point of like

just give everybody money every week so that they can buy but who's doing anything like who's and just let Mone coming from let them make the [ __ ] they're invisible uh and then let's all just be and then we start having conversations about what's the right way to say things and what's the right stuff to put in your body and what's the right position to sleep in because we're it's a joke it's it's just funny to me I guess is the thing like I remember I see what you're saying I remember I was at

a wedding and there was a guy there who was a Tibetan and uh with his wife and my wife and I were talking about our dog and uh we're we're saying that she needed she was getting surgery she's had a hard month cuz she's and he goes I'm sorry who is getting surgery and we said our dog and he just laughed really hard he was like what we are dog was in surgery and he's like I'm really sorry and he was like I'm sorry I don't understand he thought like our mom was having surgery or

something it's like you give you give a dog surgery you put a dog in an operating room and operate them this guy who's like some from some place in Tibet was like that's that's insane you know it's like my chicken has a psychiatrist on some level it's like ridiculous ridicul we're we're we're from but and I looked in guy's eyes and I'm like I want to be him it's not and it's not that I'm ashamed of me being because of him but I just think um we've gotten really far away and that's me and how

I feel I mean I have when I meet kids uh my kids age and I talk to my kids I'm like they're they they they're ahead of me in some ways and they're they got something new that I'm not sure of and my nephews I have a four nephews well they got they're on they got their eyes are forward you know and a lot of this [ __ ] well like a lot of the [ __ ] you know that we worry about you know these kids are growing up with the internet and Tik Tok

and they kind of they they're smarter about that stuff it's not it was a big jolt for us the internet but they're well they're growing up with it they don't know they brighter I know they're going to adap there's an energy to my my kids and their friends that I really admire and I think they're I that gives me hope you know I always have hope for human beings I think human beings figure things out human beings figure things they do I think they're and they also mean well for on the whole to each other

they they they they hurt each other a lot but I think that people don't want to and there's always extraordinary you know the kind of things that go down in history of extraordinary Moments by Kennedy or Obama or somebody but I see them all the time if you ride the subway you see people take take a bit of abuse and go like okay okay you go ahead like those moments you go well you you just saved the world buddy you just in your own Circle I mean that's I guess and I think one thing a

lot of people are doing is looking at the big picture too much and thinking they can they listen to podcasts and they have a whole world opinion but your only responsibility is the space you take up and the people you encounter right that's all you should be thinking about how think globally it's a giant distraction yes and it really you don't have any real ability to affect things that much no you the things you can do is be um kind to people you know and that you encounter encounter people every day try to live a

life of of interaction instead of distraction and be out and look at folks and treat them okay that's like huge there's a lot of people like there's a great movie called The Man For All Seasons it's about Thomas Moore I think uh this guy who was the um the Kings he was the chancellor of England during Henry VII uh I'm not going to tell about the whole movie but it's remarkable I love the movie and there's a scene where there's a he was a very powerful man so this one guy keeps trying to get him

to get him a position in government and he says to the guy I don't think you'd be good at it but I'll get you a job as a teacher and he goes why would I want to be a teacher and he says I think you would be a great teacher and the guy said but who would know it and he said well God your students your friends and yourself that's a pretty good crowd you know yeah like that would I think of life more that way now like it's cool this I could be a big

or and then the negative side of it how are we going all this [ __ ] up who's going to solve all this and right but if you can just be a good person and do your best anyway you do your best that's all anybody can do you also got to acknowledge that you've got problems in your head and your you you you're everyone's selfish in ways that ends up not being good for other people everybody has that so you try to balance try to balance and be okay with the people in your in your

work you know and uh and your family try to be real a real parent to your kids and you know uh I think that's the only thing you can really do it is bizarre this very very common aspiration to want to be recognized by an enormous number of people that you don't even know yeah that's a weird thing I don't have that I mean I I've been recognized by huge amount of people don't have that I don't care about it but you're a famous famous comedian maybe if you weren't you would have that maybe I

would I mean I because you know what it is and you've experienced it and you've it's been a giant part of your life is walking out there and everybody goes crazy and cheers and like thank you when I come out and they're all cheering I have want it to stop so quickly I often tell him to stop but I really don't like that part it's strange I don't like it it's not normal I like normal interaction so I don't like that I think what's normal is it's setting a tone like they're happy you're here I'm

like I'm happy you're happy thank you thank you I'm happy you're happy and I'm happy too and I've got a bunch of [ __ ] for you really been working on this that's right yeah that's what but the people that really soak it in they love it yeah need it they need it yeah I've seen people like stand on stage and they just look at the crowd they they take it in and they just walk around they oh man I saw Paul Simon um at Forest Hills in New York which is a great and I

had done it like a week before and I went there to see him and he's I know him a friend of mine and uh so he was on stage and it was like one of his last tours and Forest Hills is like a block from where he grew up so it just they loved him so much and about halfway through I saw this moment where the crowd was going nuts and he just put his arms out and he just went like this and he basked in it wow and I brought it up to him later

and he said oh you saw it I'm so ashamed of that I'm so ashamed of that he said the second I did it I was like stop stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it yeah he's like that's not cool that's hilarious he just tried it out you're not here to be like hey you're here to go like here's the show here's the show yeah but he's a rock star isn't that funny like that's like the thing that people love the thing that people love is the thing you really should not want to

be it's like this like complete alien it's no good in front of people and so that's that's what like when I'm doing the thing I'm excited I have to bring it back to my stupid plug but the garden show uh I haven't been I used to do it it was normal to do the garden for me before which is not a good thing right like I remember Chris Rock saying to me once after a show at the Garden he's like you you like this is like a club for you where you try [ __ ]

out now cuz I did it like five times in a week I just take the sub I take the SE train up do the garden and leave like I don't party after I just a show right right but it's still that went away and I hadn't been there for a while but now to me this one show there is like it's a very exciting thought yeah to just do one and the I've prepared for it is not a rockstar set it's it's pretty gritty it's pretty I mean it all kills it's similar to what I

saw at the creek last time I've been working on it since so there's a lot of new stuff yeah but it's um the idea of being surrounded by these 18,000 people in this in this Elite Arena and saying some of this stuff but but also knowing that I've crafted it so it's not just Reckless you know what I mean right right I'm really I'm really excited about I don't 38 years in coming I don't get that excited but I'm really excited excited for it too I love that you've made this return and then you know

you experienced a bunch of resistance but now it's kind of gone you know yeah just just keep doing it just keep doing it yeah and now you're you're doing [ __ ] that's really being recognized like you want a [ __ ] Emmy yeah got Grammy I got a one Grammy since I came back yeah yeah that was nice it's nice and I think you want a Grammy for the special this it was very funny but I think the next one was I think sorry was even better thank you man I really do that got

nominated for a Grammy so we'll see what happens what I hope it wins see I'd love it if you won two years in a row want to see people get crazy like [ __ ] [ __ ] whatever godamn it I loved it I got so angry when people were calling out your uh that leak set when people are mad cuz to me it was like that's what he's always done this is great stuff like these are but not only that you hadn't done stand up in 10 months I'm like this is the this is

the seeds of a fantastic hour and you're only seeing like literally the first couple times he's even said these things aloud in public I literally was having a conversation with another comedian and came up with the bits and went on stage and did them so it was the first time I'd done them and I I just got so excited to be back on stage cuz I had taken a long time off and it was and there was resistance coming back but I was it was I was in a club with my crowd for the first

time and so I was uh it was the only thing I regret is it was Reckless cuz my life was very in arious things were tough and things were tough for my kids so that created a bigger huge stink bomb than anything else that had even happened the set did yeah the set was really really hard so I given how uh things were I probably could have made chokes about a couple other things I don't believe I did anything wrong you did what you always done I do I've always done this the way it works

is I say stuff that is the wrong thing to say I hear the resistance to it and then I and then I work with it work with it and it takes a few shows for it to be a safe bit to do but there's a few audiences that that you know and that audience actually didn't didn't mind it but it it's not for regular consumption it's like watching somebody practice piano yeah and going like he sucks or or it's not it wasn't supposed to the I think it's really bad that we don't have these barriers

anymore where there's speech that's for these few people there's speech that we're going to we're going to have a fun conversation where we're going to get a little crazy it's not for the whole world to see well what was infuriating to me was people that know that they know what you're saying and they went after you and I was like you [ __ ] you know there's people that I won't talk to to this day because of that wow was like I'm not talking to you like unless you want to make some like big public

apology or you want to apologize to me and tell me why you did it and what real feelings of insecurity and jealousy but Tim do that Tim Dylan put a post on his page about what's really going on he put a great post on his Instagram and that's when I became friends with Tim Dy right he wrote you're getting a bunch of people that are mediocre Comedians and that are attacking him not really because of what he's saying but because he's great and because they hate the fact that he was getting any attention at all

and that should be theirs and now they find some chance to move up in the social structure yeah that that's what it felt like to to me all of that is totally true and it's makes me understand in other words it makes me feel sympathy it makes me go like all right if that's what you need to do that's what you that's what you got to do it's it's a I would prefer to hang out with somebody who doesn't need to do that but I get it and I can't I can't be around them because

can do you can do that again you can do that again you know it's like having a snake in the room like you can have a snake in the room as long as you keep the lights on aside from my [ __ ] the thing that was a drag to me about comedy in the last few years was people who any comedian who's out in the world saying that comedian shouldn't be saying these things yeah that's a traitor to Comedy well they always that's not that's not they're not a real comedian none of them are

good they've learned some tricks so they can seem good and they might have a big audience but they're not they don't love this right and they are that's a [ __ ] up thing to do it's a [ __ ] up thing to do and it's always coming from a place of jealousy yes and also always happening to somebody who's already deeply besieged somebody who's already the whole world when you see the whole world coming down on somebody for something they said and then you go man me I'm going to say the same thing exactly

that's about you that has nothing to do with how you really feel about what they said it has nothing to do it's just that you want to be heard in your circle saying it also cuz you see that you can get a little something from it well you're just taking cheap shots you you another way to say that you're just kicking someone when they're down yeah it's a shame and not only that it's someone like who should have a deep understanding of what that person's actually doing to ask I think from people I think it

is people life is hard if too much to ask of those people those people should not be doing standup and all the people that did that were all [ __ ] terrible all of them were mediocre at best all of them every single [ __ ] one of them you know Chris Rock's not gonna [ __ ] talk [ __ ] about people when they're down it's he's not going to be the guy who gets on Twitter and goes that subject matter was [ __ ] up like that's you're not going to get that became

profitable to do it and and it's going to stop being profitable it already is it's already not a cool it's not a good look anymore but it's not profitable by those comedians those comedians get ostracized now they do yeah oh man I I go out of my way I won't talk to them I won't look at them like you don't you don't do this anymore I can't talk to you cuz now I can't trust you cuz you know what this is you know this bizarre process of like bringing an idea on stage like a little

puppy and teaching it not to [ __ ] on the floor like you're you're doing this thing with me and you're pretending no the audience is it's an easy thing to do because the audience will never know that and they shouldn't right audiences just come and they see what you do they don't know what goes into it and they they it's not their none of their business well some of them do get into it I mean that's one of the things that was interesting about the store was like you would get comedy nerds that would

come and they'd go I love how that bits Chang cuz I saw it and then I saw it again I saw it again and now it's got to this point that was a great compliment I was always like oh thank you thanks appreciate it yeah there was a time there used to be this back in 200 2005 or so uh there was a what is it a Tenacious D You Know Jack sure they had a website with a message board back before social media there were message boards where people would make comments it was just

comments without a thing and they had a message board with different categories and one of them was other Comedians and that became huger than the website it it was called a special thing.com oh yeah remember this yeah yeah yeah I do and it was about stand up in mostly in the LA area and so like there was one guy his name was Sasquatch and he would go to every show at Largo at these kind of alternative shows and he would do a rundown he'd tell you who is on he'd give you an idea what the

bits were and he analyzed and he every comedian loved reading it because if you like it being mentioned in it was kind of cool he was a really smart his name was Matthew something I forget but he was interesting and you'd and and he would talk about bits and he'd seen bits before and how they had changed and stuff comedy fandom when it's like you know it's really fun it's really great it is fun yeah there's a lot now that's like just like I'm on this guy's side against this guy there's a lot of tribalism

in comedy yeah um but again that's you're always going to have people that are like that you're going to have all sorts of different ways of looking at things and things that people disagree with and agree with and things that people like and don't like yeah but uh it's just I [ __ ] love it after all these years I've been doing 35 years I think yeah it's the best it's really the most fun thing to do I love it more than anything I've ever done and uh I'll always love it and I do I

do think after this show at the Garden I'm going to on January 28th live stream on my lu.com Lucy there it is there it is live stream event from Madison Square Garden that's [ __ ] awesome yeah I don't know if any comedians done that not not on a website I mean maybe like HBO and Stu how difficult is it in terms of like the infrastructure like to set it up to live stream from your website like how many people can it handle simultaneously uh as many as will come really yeah yeah it's just uh

it it's you know Tom seora does these live shows yes company Maestro or whatever it is we're just doing the same thing as uh oh great that's all it is and it's pared you been a part of one of you need to be a part of one of those I have not done that no they're [ __ ] horrific yeah no I've heard it's crazy oh my God but he's really so [ __ ] smart Tom he's very funny and a great guy yeah but I asked him about doing this and he helped me uh

uh get the courage to do it and uh the show starts at 7:30 and they'll be opening acts like Keith Robinson and um somebody else I don't know yet but also I have Ravi coltrin who's he's John col Train's son which is incidental but he's a great saxophone player and he has a trio that he's bringing to open on the show so you get you get to about 45 minutes of pre-show with him and some comedians oh I'll probably be on stage around 8:15 it'll be like a 20 second delay but otherwise it's fully Alive

what time are you up tonight and tomorrow I think the show's at 7:30 I got to go soon yeah and then uh I guess I'm on it I guess this show is 7:30 usually I end up by on stage by 8:15 after there's always lay and then opening comedian well I'm going out to eat with my wife tomorrow so I'm going to try to catch you tonight yeah head out you should okay let's wrap this [ __ ] up okay Louis ck.com the date is January 28th January 28th live stream event go see it the

material I mean the material that I saw months ago was [ __ ] amazing so thanks and and you can watch it until January until February 17th then it disappears you know you can't download it it's like a fight on Dione or something or pay-per-view and then ail and then it disappears then in April this the the the special from this material will be out in April beautiful yeah all right great seeing you my friend you too man thanks for having me it was a lot of fun thank you bye everybody [Applause] [Music]