Shia Labeouf on love

I'll never be able to speak on it I don't I don't know nothing like this relationship I never have in my life I never had even my parents even my father you know I never had what I got with her which is you know to enter my life to be with me she had to take a loss she had to like eat [ __ ] to be with me to be with me she had to to re-enter being a part of my life she had to take a hit yeah in ways that I've spoken about

before and in other ways too probably you know and uh what I know love to be is selfless loving action and I've never known anything as loving or as selflessly active as what this woman did for me in my life she showed up for me at a time when I mean this is the first time I saw her we had been estranged for like years because of my jealousy she went and did a movie with another actor and I thought she was cheating on me so then I cheated on another but it was just [

__ ] yeah we should uh little [ __ ] like nonsense and we hadn't talked for two years when all this [ __ ] hit and I wound up at this rehab right um in Utah and they do something called family week and every week on a Sunday everybody who's involved in the program has their family show up on these Skype calls and everybody will show up in the same room and your mother your father your brother your sister your wife your friends whatever just you and the people no it's you the whole Squad of

you that are in this group like 12 of us everyone's family everyone's family pops up on the screen and week one no one shows up for me no one but no one showed up my mother my father no one no one showed up manager of friends no one showed up week two same thing so I'm sitting in this room and even the person who's like therapizing me she's starting to feel like this she's empathizing with where I'm at everybody else in her we got a dude who like you know this isn't just alcoholics and [

__ ] this is like [ __ ] arsonists and like child predators and all kind of wild people in this group right and they got people showing up for them and I don't have nobody showing up for me and week two week three I'm there 90 days so I'm there for a a clip and there comes a point where family week comes around I say to my therapist like I'm not gonna go you know like I don't want to subject myself to this [ __ ] like I'm I'm on a path and you know let

me just stay here like I don't want to keep reminding myself of how [ __ ] my situation is and um and she says no I think you should show up this week and I show up thinking all right my mom's going to be on there you know my mom will be on and Mia is on the screen and you know it's like you don't deserve that kind of [ __ ] you know you don't deserve that cunch like like I don't deserve that kind of [ __ ] you know I don't put I don't

put her through years and years of [ __ ] nonsense bro just like [Music] I don't want nothing to offer her either you know what I mean I'm in the middle of my [ __ ] you know I'm [ __ ] like I'm like I'm like two months into this program you don't even have nothing going on I don't even know I have nothing nothing going on I'm making this list she's at the top of the list but I ain't I'm not reaching out to her nothing like that yeah you heard her voice like she's

like a [ __ ] age everybody does their [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] gone you know so they let her go first because I can't even [ __ ] believe and they all know because I had no family show up for me that does and she just she amuses she's like hi Shia so I'm just like he's prepping a movie she ain't got no [ __ ] time for this you know but she found time and she said hi Shire and uh we just smile we had nothing else to say but she saved

my [ __ ] life to before the kid before the job before [ __ ] before God before any religion before any before laugh before a laugh before a laugh before Bo before a phone before anything was This Woman's face and uh the one no promises made what no long conversation and being had nothing just her presence the ministry of presence sometimes that's all you need to offer a person who's in a situation like that is like present and she was present for me at a time when I didn't deserve to have nobody in my

life especially her and I'm not trying to do his [ __ ] because I right away my head goes like how's this being viewed I'm such a [ __ ] this way good you can come on man yeah uh she's a she's a she's a real one she's a real one uh and uh I'll never be able to I'll never be able to it's the first time I really understood love because I have nothing to give and I was sitting there thinking like well I don't have nothing it's not sexy to be with me don't

you get it like people out here accusing me of like putting makeup on my genitals and like shooting dogs and [ __ ] you know that's what I'm being accused of and you're showing up for me like you're you're gonna be tied to this [ __ ] I could it didn't make no [ __ ] sense and love is irrational that way you can't rationalize real love it doesn't make any [ __ ] sense and I had spent my whole life trying to rationalize it like ah you know this dude hits me up he's in

my corner because you know we [ __ ] with the same crap you know I mean that's what he he loves this thing that I got that I'm like I'm G with this [ __ ] over here that's why he loves me because he loves that part of me that's G at this you know and and then I would I would write your love off like okay you love me because I do this [ __ ] and so many of my relationships were basically like you love me because I'm [ __ ] Sensei over here

in the dojo I'm black belt right here so you love me because of this and when they blow the dojo up you're like I'm not cheating I'm not Sensei at nothing I got no I'm not a fish I don't even know how to [ __ ] do nothing like I don't even know how to Camp I'm a [ __ ] little kid you know I mean I'm not gonna make a fire and uh yeah she gave me hope bro when I was really like running on fumes I wasn't running on empty but I was running

on fumes