How Girls Become Godly Women

in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit in the comment section on a couple of videos I've been asked when dealing with masculinity what are my thoughts on femininity or women and how are they supposed to develop themselves and so it's interesting we did the last video on why many boys don't become men and I I think it's fitting that we do a video then on why many uh girls don't become women you know to do this and to tackle this is in some ways more complex than men

uh but I think that there are three fundamental aspects to women that we could touch on that would highlight the changes and the developments and the maturation that needs to take place in order to move a woman uh or move a young woman into Womanhood number one boys and girls are very different if you look at a little girl her affection and attention for her father is immediate from from the time that you know she's very young even you know an infant and and certainly within the first 3 months to 6 months you know she's

very attached and very kind of intuitively uh connected to her father my experience with boys is that they tend to be less interested in their dads they love their dads but they really love their moms and in fact often times for that first kind of two to three years maybe in as far as four years they're very mom Focus focused in terms of where they want to get their attention and their affection from and their connection and then they move very hard into um looking for affirmation from their father girls are different girls want to

have a connection with their father they want to have an emotional connection they want to receive attention from them it's very natural from them for them boys are looking less for attention but they're looking very much for affirmation they want to know what they're doing is good they want to know that their dad respects them that he that he uh thinks their efforts are worthy of Praise right a boy bases a lot of who he sees himself on how his dad sees him that aspect is true for girls also but for girls it's more the

attention of who they are right I remember hearing a funny story about a husband and wife and and the uh husband grew up in a family I think was predominantly boys and the girl grew up in a family that was predominantly girls I think it was three girls in and they ended up having some miscommunication in their marriage so they go to this therapist and one of the things the therapist asked him is well to the husband you know what did your dad do to show love and he said well my dad fixed everything around

the house any projects anything that my mom needed tackling he tackled so this is what he was doing in his marriage so she says okay she says to the to the woman she says what do your dad what did your dad do growing up she said every day my dad got home from work he would sit down with me and my two sisters and my mom and he would have tea time with us and he would talk he would listen to us and talk with us we often forget that men need a lot of shoulder

time meaning that we need a task that we're trying to accomplish arm in arm brother to brother with another man women need a lot of FaceTime they want to kind of connect on not I wouldn't say it's an emotional level it's a really it's a deep interpersonal level they kind of want to look into you and they want you to kind of look into them and they want to be deemed worthy of this attention we know that this is true when we see girls who did not have enough attention as a child they are constantly

forever the rest of their life looking for that attention and affirmation from Men so for a girl to move from being a girl to a young woman to or a girl young woman to a woman what does she need to do number one it's a best case scenario that when she's younger she gets the majority of her attention from her father when she moves into being a young woman she begins to shift that Dynamic and she begins to uh develop more of a relationship with God through prayer through the sacraments through going to confession she

begins to realize that God is interested in her even more than her own father is God is the lover of mankind and he desires to deeply connect with us for a for a young woman she needs to start making that transition so that when she moves into adulthood when she becomes a woman she's not looking for everyone to validate her and to be the prim primary focus of how she receives that attention you can see this in a marriage when the marriage burns out because a lot of times women go into a marriage looking for

a man to kind of fulfill that desire for attention that longing for connection that only God can fulfill now God fulfills part of it I would say he always needs to really be filling the majority like minimum 51% of our needs and wants and desires but a woman finds the majority of her attention and affirmation from God she does this through prayer through connecting with uh the readings of the Saints the lives of the Saints she receives this through being in the services through being prayerful from receiving the sacraments and then from connecting with her

spiritual father these are the ways in which she needs to primarily Orient herself to get that affirmation and that connection from God then she receives affirmation affection and attention from her husband but her husband because he's only human can only give her so much and then the remaining bit comes from her children when it gets out of order when it's when when God is not first a human being is designed to receive the majority of their attention from God when they don't have that and they look for it in another person it's like you're trying

to put a block into a space that's too big and so then then it makes that emptiness around the block even more acute and so many times people actually try to fill themselves with other people and they end up feeling more empty they end up feeling burned out they end up feeling exhausted why because the person is not supposed to fulfill you the way that God is that's number one that desire for women to connect emotionally interpersonally to gaze into you and to be gazed into is totally normal and healthy and beautiful and wonderful but

it has to be directed primarily to God by the time a girl reaches adulthood and into marriage number two women have powerful emotions it this cannot be overstated I'll tell a very quick funny story but uh several years ago I was taking a medication and that medication ended up raising my estrogen levels and I didn't know it I was unaware of it at the time because you know your body is doing a process in kind of the background and you don't know what's happening I was sitting at my desk Des at work and I was

watching a television show or or something while I was doing paperwork at the end day and I got immersed and I started looking at it and it was so powerful was sad and I started to think to myself you know I'm going to just I'm going to I'm going to crawl under my desk at work and I'm just going to cry here for a minute and the minute that I had that thought it was like a red siren went off it was like you know blaring in my head like what are you doing you're a

man you don't crawl under your desk work and cry because you're feeling something super deep and I realized at that moment something's off my there's something hormonally going on cuz this is not normal behavior what it showed me which I had never known before was that my emotional spectrum is like this you know it's kind of black and white in some ways like it's only so much whereas women's emotional spectrums are much broader this is just a reality women feel and experience things in a much deeper more intuitive sense is it better than men no

is it more insightful in some ways yes when children are interacting or sorry when women are interacting with children they can often read the minutia of how a child is feeling and Inuit it what's going on in a way that a husband is completely oblivious to I mean this is why when my wife talks to me about the kids I listen my wife has brilliant insights into our children because she's very intuitive emotionally with how they're doing and where they're coming from and what they're doing this is a beautiful thing women have been given these

emotions kind of in Technicolor as it were they have a deep sense of the world they actually have you know what the holy fathers talk about you know we have our heart which is our noose the eye of our soul men often times are very much living in their heads they're very rationalistic uh they're deductive they're observational right they kind of sometimes even have a cold approach to life in the world women because they're able to kind of see things and almost like a Technicolor are actually able to tap into the deeper parts of their

soul more easily I think this is part of the reason that women naturally tend to just be more spiritual than men that's a reality I mean that's just a reality women tend to be able to connect with God because they're able to kind of connect and see all the things that are going on inside of them you know ever since I had that experience at work I mean it just broadened my respect for women and to the fact that they were experiencing something I wasn't even aware that they were experiencing I didn't know women experienced

I mean you think oh women are emotional they're not just emotional they they they have this it's almost like a a superpower of real really sensing and feeling the world in a deep way all of that to say that emotional awareness is not a good Compass I believe that when St Paul says that women are the weaker of the Sexes he does not mean that women are inferior to men at all that's not what he's saying what he's saying is that the woman's strength meaning her emotional awareness is also many times her downfall and her

weakness because she relies on it in order to navigate the world and the reality is women were not intended to navigate the world without men likewise men were not intended to navigate the world without women there are so many times that I am dealing with things at church with the children with other people whatever else you know something happens that's public right and I ask my wife give me your Insight on this this happened whatever else her Insight is invaluable it's invaluable she see things she sees things that I just simply do not see that's

the sign of somebody who's more advanced than you uh likewise when she has all these emotions that are clamoring for her attention and are giving her all this information right it's almost like data overload I think a lot of times women fall into that uh paralysis by analysis because they're actually soaking in so much of the world when that happens to them they don't know what to do and they're honestly almost always looking for the perfect answer now when you're analytic like a man and you're kind of in a little ways a little divorce from

your feelings you realize that there aren't perfect answers just just answers you've just got to make decisions and keep moving forward this is why women desperately need into Womanhood a husband or a spiritual father who's able to guide and direct them this is in particular very powerful for women to have a spiritual father because they know the spiritual father is not in a sense looking for anything from them he's neutral he loves them he cares about them you know uh women often have a type of distrust regarding their husband especially sometimes in the first few

years because they're concerned that he's going to use that uh the her her needs for him or desires for him kind of in a sense to get his own ends that's a separate video but just to touch on that for a moment that's number two a woman needs the help of a man to navigate her emotional landscape and make the best possible decisions number three and this one is super important women need to move from being self-oriented to oriented towards others this is the same exact thing for men it's the same exact thing the primary

difference is that a man in a sense goes out to battle every day he goes out to the coal mine he goes and works to provide for the family he has to enter into this path where whereas a woman actually needs to use her abilities to basically take the raw material that her husband gives her and turn it into something wonderful right we often use that analogy that the husband buys a house the woman makes it a home right the husband helps to bring children into the world but the wife she makes it a family

she connects everyone together she makes the meals she plans the activities she does all these things that just women are phenomenal at this I mean they make in so many ways women make life worth I don't want to say living but they make they make life so much better I mean I cannot even imagine a life without my wife right she's the single most important person in my life by far there's no one that's even a close second this though requires a woman to enter into a very kind of extreme path of self-denial why do

I say it's extreme because it's very hard the life of denying yourself for a woman typically involves having children and having children is incredibly aesthetical I think people see the videos of me and they're like oh father's strong you know he you know he's he lifts weights he can bench press over 450 lbs he's got these abilities listen there I am not as tough as my wife I'm just not my my wife has been nursing babies sleep deprived uh uh cultivating them nursing them doing all these things for the better part of 10 years and

being pregnant with five babies and having two C-sections and recovering from C-sections and going through all and carrying babies every almost every single day like you know guys have these things on Instagram hey I'm going rucking today I got a 20 lb Rock I'm going to go rock for 30 minutes it's like bro my wife carried a 20 8B baby for 5 hours today like we're not in the same realm as women we're just not and the crazy part is women will do all this when they have a good attitude they will do all this

and and just somehow miraculously just think it's not even almost a big deal like they'll just they'll just do it they'll do it out of their love and service for somebody else that is the meaning purpose trajectory that a woman needs to be on she needs to have children in order to bring about you know this meaning and purpose in her life that she's longing for but the meaning and purpose is not somebody filling her and this is where sometimes when when women are moving from Young from being a young woman into Womanhood is having

children is not about them giving you stuff having children is about you giving them a life an experience love protection uh cultivation nourishment it's outward facing and again this is the same thing in the video about men which is we all have to find a purpose where we are serving the other people around us and as Christ said he came to serve not to be served those are the three things that a woman needs to work on if she's going to move from from from from uh being a young woman or a girl into Womanhood

uh she needs to find her affirmation and her attention primarily from God uh she needs to to um oh I forgot what the second one is uh she needs to learn how to navigate her emotional landscape with direction from a man and number three she needs to pour her life out for her children for her family in order to cultivate a loving environment that only she can build and it's incredible my utmost respect and love to my wife and to all the mothers out there who work tirelessly in their striving as a woman bringing about

so much love and joy into the world God bless you