VANESSA CAVALIERI (DEFENSORA DOS DIREITOS DAS CRIANÇAS E ADOLESCENTES) - PODPEOPLE #196

[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] those of you who are waiting for our Episode, I'm going to ask you to subscribe to the channel Share the content and hit the Bell so we can inform you all the news Our guest from Today she is a judge at the Children and Youth Court dedicated to protecting the rights of children and adolescents. Her career involves working in cases of family vulnerability, challenges of using technology and the impacts of violence and neglect on development children and adolescents at today's meeting we will talk about topics such as the impact of

excessive use of screens in childhood and adolescence Cyber ​​bullying the role of parenting in the digital age and the legal implications of family behaviors that affect the safety and well-being of children and teenagers with you Vanessa [Music] [Music] Hello, everyone, welcome to another episode of pod people, a place where we meet to see and hear people People who Do People who happen People who inspire Our guest today is Vanessa Cavalieri, judge of children and youth in the State of Rio de Janeiro, before I start, I wanted to ask you to subscribe to the channel, share

our content and press the Bell to receive all the news Everything is good, my dear, Everything is great, Bia, I'm happy to be here, very happy you are because I've been seeing you around like this, you speak very well and talk about very important things that need to be said for us to start Vanessa, can I call you Vanessa, call me Bia, please, I would like you to summarize your life rather than what made teenager Vanessa choose the career of Justice is to go through the defense department because choosing to become a judge which is

another stage and finally creating the protocol, right @ I watch you, no, I see you, I see you protocol, I see you protocol, I see you, that's exactly what it is wonderful, that's all it is to begin with. Hey, how many hours do I have to explain, don't worry, I can give you the reason that led Vanessa, 14 years old, back there to choose a career in law or the way she looks back today In hindsight I consider that was the real reason So back when I was deciding which entrance exam I was going to

take, I actually wanted to do journalism, that was my desire, number one, I was unsure between journalism, law and psychology, they were the three careers that seduced me, hey, I was always very idealistic and I thought so that I was going to be a journalist that I was going to write incredible things like that I was going to change the world with my reports, you know And then I remember that I was spending Christmas at my aunt and uncle's house and I had a cousin who is 10 years old older than me nowadays she is

a suei judge and she had just passed the magistracy she passed at a very young age So I was I think 14 15 years old she was 25 and had just passed she had already been a defender and she was a judge And then she said And then Vanessa spent Christmas with her, what are you going to do, she said oh, I don't know, I'm in doubt between Journalism and law, she said, Let me tell you something when you're middle aged, when you are 14 years old makes a lot of difference doing journalism properly when

you are middle aged it makes a lot more difference if you can I remember she said this phrase you can at Folic which at the time was a store that had to sell some suede clothes remember if you can Go to Folic and buy all the clothes you like and just ask what the price is when paying. My friends who studied journalism are unemployed and I studied law, I'm a judge. She said that, super pragmatic, I said, really, I think, I 've always been. a very mature girl I'm my age and I decided to do

law but I fell in love with law in college I fell in love like that, you didn't even expect it I didn't expect it and today I know everything I know about myself, right after a lot of self-knowledge I'm 47 years old I know that one of my main values ​​is justice, right, justice moves me, it's a value of mine that when it's disrespected, be it with me or with others, I get furious, so what awakens my anger are unfair situations, so obviously for a person who has the value of Justice so strong power being

in the house of justice and being able to do justice in some way, no matter how limited our ability to do justice in the judiciary is, is very gratifying so I fell in love with law in college and then I started interning And then I fell in love with the internship I fell in love with the possibility of being an agent of social transformation and I started interning at the Public Defender's Office and I was a defender. I passed the Public Defender's Office when I was 22 years old, I honored my cousin, you know, I

followed the family's path, and then I was a defender for 4 years, I was very happy with the Public Defender's Office, I loved that job, that possibility of giving such vulnerable people a public service of quality, you know, but I started to feel like doing more, so the other day I was at a career fair at my daughters' school and then this question came up, right? What, why did I decide to be a judge, someone there who was moderating the table of law asked that I was remembering a case that was the following I worked

with a judge I was I was a defender of several public treasuries that judge actions against the State so there was a time when the governor was the Little boy, the health issue was very precarious and there were medications for continuous use for chronic diseases that were not being provided and I had one assisted As a public defender he needed to take a black label medication so he was a severe psychiatric patient with I don't know nowadays I don't remember which one it was, but maybe he was schizophrenic, including him, he was a history teacher

at Werge who was retired due to disability, a very sad situation, a young guy, still around 30 years old, 2 m tall, a closet and he he was completely out of control without medication and the state wasn't providing it and his mother went there desperate and said that he beat her because he became violent and so on without medication and we asked the secretary to be summoned and he didn't provide it and so on and so on. I went to talk to the judge and one day he got there and he said I'm only going

to leave here when I received my medication he said I'm not going to leave here until I had the Lucidity I needed and it was a closet there was no one to take it He sat in my defense room and said, I'm not leaving here until I get my medicine, so I went down to the judge's office and spoke to him, I said, look, here's the case he was following, we've already summoned him several times. secretary and he doesn't supplies and I don't know what and the person assisted is there in my office and he

won't leave and he's out of control he's hitting his hand and so on and then the judge picked up the phone and called the secretary and said come here now and get medication Ah but there is no I don't know what so you go to the pharmacy and buy it with your money because if you get here without you you will be arrested and in 15 minutes the medicine was there and I said I want to be a judge I want this pen I want to do this You know, I want to guarantee I want

to guarantee that decisions will be fulfilled and rights will be enforced and that's what motivated me I said I want to have the final say I'm bossy I'm controlling I want it, you know, I want this power I want to take it and say it like this when I say things things will be accomplished not for my own benefit but to transform society into a better place, a better place, a less unequal society And then I took the exam, I passed it, I had never worked in the area of ​​childhood, I was, I am ,

I am going to do it now in January, 20 years of judiciary and the day before yesterday the day before yesterday not Sunday I turned 9 years old as a child as a child and youth as a child and youth here in Rio So you went through others in other areas I was always in civil law and public finance, ok so I've already taken a lot of action against the state I've already ordered arrest A lot of the health secretary, you know, I had him admitted to hospital to do what he had to do and

then I had an opportunity to promote myself in my career by going to another district, which was the District of Nova Friburgo because, finally, due to the issues there regarding the organization of the court Friburgo was a promotion because I was from Baixada, I was from Nilópolis and then I went to a criminal court And then I loved working in the criminal court, I was on the Jury there and on the criminal court and the jury, so I did a lot of feminicide trials, so I love it, Jú, because I think those cases of an

ordinary person who killed someone, you know, That's how anyone's crime is, right? Anyone would be capable of killing under any circumstances, I loved it, I loved working there, but I needed to go back to Rio because I had two F. I have two daughters who at the time were still young and I was far from home. and it was complicated there and it was very complicated the family situation they were at such an age that they were Still missing me a lot anyway and so I needed to come so the opportunity I had to return

and I wanted to work in crime was was and the Children and Youth Court for Adolescent Offenders which is not a criminal court Technically but it's almost right because infraction is a criminal court for teenagers exactly And then I went but I went like this to stay for a year which is the minimum time you have to stay and then leave and go back to Civil or go to crime just that I I fell madly in love and today I can't imagine doing anything else, I'm definitely going to retire from this place, you know, it's

my place, it's the place I'm passionate about, working that gives me purpose, so I want me to see a power there. of transforming society and somehow knowing how to interfere in the lives of each person who gets there and I see the change, right? And so, if you ask me why does childhood give you so much joy, so much happiness? Then I look at my family For my story, you know , my mother is mine mother lost her mother my maternal grandmother died of a massive heart attack in front of my mother when my mother

had seven people at home, how many more or less So I don't know but about 40 or so maybe because my mother had a brother she had seven she had a brother who was 14 and a brother who was 21 so every seven years my grandmother had children So my grandmother must have been around 40 years old maybe 40 something I don't know how old she was but she was young for sure because You had a 7-year-old daughter, what happened to my mother? That was in 1952, my mother was born in 1945, so what did

my grandfather do? He imagined it like that in 1952, right? We have to look at the generational context, I don't. I can have two men in the house, I can't raise a girl, so what did he do, he has a woman with him, so what did he do, he gave my mother a girl to a cousin of his who was married and hadn't been able to have children create Uhum And then my mother lost it, right, if we look at it like this, she suffered abandonment, right? She lost her mother in an extremely traumatic situation

and lost her entire family and she was left with open fam questions, questions like that that are not worth bringing here so as not to expose but like this she even developed a psychiatric issue because of this and And then in a certain way I see that I It's like I was saving my mother, you know I'm not a super fan of Family Constellation, but they are one of the orders You know, the son wants to save his mother like that, and it's as if I could rewrite her story , which was a story of

abandonment and neglect and of no one seeing, right, no one saw that she wasn't well, everyone thought she was great, everyone thought she was great, right, she's my mother She 's going to be 80 years old and to this day, when she talks about what it was like the day my grandmother died in front of her, she cries because she's alive, right? She talks like that, I wasn't the last time I saw my mother. That's when she fell she had a bottle of olive oil that fell to the floor, broke and they didn't let me

say goodbye to my mother, that's another thing so surreal, right? Not letting the child go through the grieving process, right? And so when we look at it like this, in 1950 there weren't even adolescence, right We didn't even exist in adolescence as a phase of life recognized as being something different from childhood and adulthood and the child wasn't anyone, she was an object, right, she wasn't a being consent, bajur, bajur is more than the child so I think all this right, so I look at my own life like this, I also had a story of

paternal abandonment, I was born in Portugal My mother is Portuguese, this all happened in Portugal, I I was born in Portugal Portugal but my father was Brazilian my father was even a psychiatrist Uhum And they separated because my father was a violent man so he had a drug addiction issue and he was violent and they separated and my mother returned to Portugal ee my father stayed in Brazil so I grew up as a child away from my father too so for Ug mother I stayed in Portugal with my mother when I was 8 years old

we went back to Brazil me my mother and my brother I have an older brother new and then like this I think I have the opportunity to look at my story and give new meaning to a lot of things, you know, you can't rewrite it, but you can give it new meaning, you can give it new meaning, and at the same time, I have two teenage daughters. Adolescence arrived in my life before I became a mother. teenager because I've been there for 9 years, right? So I started with other people's teenagers and I think that

the mothers there of the offending teenagers must have cursed me a lot, which I'm paying for, I'm paying, right? It's not easy to have two teenagers in marry two girls one is 1, the other is 15, she's going to be 16 next month and my youngest daughter is a girl who challenges me a lot, even some episodes of her podcasts were really cool for me, they helped me a lot to prepare because my youngest daughter, we identified during the pandemic that she has TDH but it still didn't close, you know, the TDH diagnosis was difficult

to close, the sides were conclusive and so on, there were open questions and then after the pandemic we discovered that she has super endowment and discharges skills , so I'm the mother of a girl with double exceptionality who opened my eyes to so many questions, you know, inclusion of everything, you know, of what is normal and today this allows me to help other teenagers see with different eyes right with completely different eyes Oh I'll give you something maybe you don't know eh TDH's mother will always be the goddess of life throughout TDH is very attached

to Mom do you have an average idea of ​​what a child talks to mom a day is 30 times mother mother mother mother you will Going out, mom, right, when it's a TDH, the average is 50, it becomes a mantra and I'm telling you, you may have difficulty, but when you get it right, you'll count on her that it's good, hope, go, and And then, coming back like this, then I started working. When I was a child, I fell in love with it because it's a very difficult place, it's very difficult, but for anyone who

wants an opportunity to make an effective intervention for change in society, it's a wonderful place, right? It's a garden for you to plant a lot of seeds and I want that So for me it doesn't make sense to go there like, I even joke with my colleagues from the special Civil visa, I said, man, when I see people like a bunch of people, they're fined R 100 for delivering the refrigerator because the American stores delivered it makes me lazy, you know, there's nothing against it I've done this a lot but today nowadays, you know, I

think it's a waste of my vital energy, it's not enough for me, it's not enough for me, and working as a child is emotionally exhausting, but it's that exhaustion that I imagine the psychiatrist also feels that the next day, when you wake up, you are you ready for another because you wake up, sometimes you go to sleep tired, you go to sleep discouraged, distressed But you wake up full of gas because it's a new day full of opportunities for you to help people, right, and really make a difference in society? And then, I started So

I'm a curious person, I'm a person who I love, I love human beings, I love the subjectivity of human beings, I like listening to stories and I like telling stories, and I wasn't satisfied with shallow explanations until then, back in 2015. When I took over the court, shallow explanations for questions like Why is the socio-educational system overcrowded? And then, for example, public defenders and more progressive movements like that came saying Oh, because judges hospitalize boys who work in drug trafficking a lot, I said that, but wait, So, but that doesn't seem right because that's not

what I see here on a daily basis and my court has an advantage, a very interesting observation point, why? Because it's the only court in the capital of Rio de Janeiro Oh yeah the only one of teenage offenders, so all the teenagers in the city, any social class, any neighborhood who will end up in the justice system come to me, so this gives me an observation point of this super privileged phenomenon because on the one hand I can zoom out and see the phenomenon as a whole, so for example I now have a database and

I know month by month all the teenagers who arrive What age group they are, what type of crime they committed , and How many siblings do they have? Are they studying, if not? what year did they stop researching Fantastic exactly Maros on the other hand I look each one in the eye and listen to their stories so I zoom out And then I go there I understand and so what and I'm boring, you know, I ask why Ah, you're studying, no, why did you stop? seriously, I don't know, but why did you stop? Ah, why

yes, but why not ? I didn't like you until you arrived Then he'll say that because I was being bullied because my mother didn't have money to buy sneakers and they had holes and they kept telling me that I should keep bullying them because the sneakers were leaky, even because I misbehaved and then they transferred me to a school that was in another faction's area and I couldn't go because I was threatened . because yes it still does the shoulder Little guy like that, right, yes, and with me I'm annoying, right, he can't, I'm his

mother, he can't turn his back on the aorta, right, he's going to have to talk and then I started to make statistics of And then show the real picture that's not it was what was said that often suited certain agendas, you understood that they wanted to present a truth that was not real, so when I started to present data, you know, that counter-facts in the argument and I started to say, look, it's not true, 50% of the who are hospitalized is theft 20% is theft, only 20% is trafficking, and then I showed statistics and such.

And then when it was in 2018, 2018 began, it was the first case that I received of an attack at school, so I'm going to tell you the case that left a deep impression on me, like this one. day was game changing for me a 16 year old boy enters school with a machete and stabs some classmates and is apprehended, you know, arrested, detained in the act, taken to the police station and the next day he comes to PR for my hearing, that is, less than 24 hours after the attack And then at this hearing

I talk to him and I ask him what happened and he tells me his story, that's more or less the workflow, but this boy was still in a schizophrenic episode, a psychotic break, he said that he did it because there was a man wearing a mask from the movie V for Vendetta inside a black car outside the school waiting for him to kill his classmates because otherwise this man in his house was going to kill his mother and brother Classic delusion and that he heard voices and the Voices ordered people to kill and he was

hearing voices at that moment, so far, you know, I'm not a Mental Health professional, but I've been studying a lot more and more, I need mental health skills, even then he could have opened a Psychotic case at 16. without prior warning, right? It could happen, but this was in March , in December of the previous year, he had tried to commit suicide . home discharged Aram without any referral mental health as an attempt to self-destruct, no they knew it was but they didn't give a referral to mental health And what was worse was that he

was 16 years old when he was 4 years old 12 years before he had set fire to his older sister's house because the voices told him to How old I was, I never knew of a case so early, so PR, neither, so this boy was suffering for 12 years and no one saw it, no one saw it, the school, he didn't see the family, he didn't see a very vulnerable family. Possibly he was talking, right, because he said calmly for you, he left my courtroom straight with an order court order from me for psychiatric hospitalization

in Pinu at the time that I was treating a teenager with a decision that he could only be discharged when the doctor said that the crisis was contained, even so with monitoring and medication he was hospitalized for more than a month because you know it is extremely difficult you know, maintaining a psychiatric hospitalization nowadays for more than 30 days, it was, it was, and because it was so serious, the condition came back when he was discharged, well, uh, he understood, controlled, because he was taking antipsychotics, he was no longer listening. voices understanding that he needed

to take medication to stay well so that it wouldn't happen again, no, this was the first case, then in 2019 it was a very difficult year because it was the year in which the Columbine attack completed 20 years, so there was a movement in Deep web on the Deep web exactly around the world, serial attacks were combined in the month of April 2019 as a tribute to columbine and then many cases began to arrive and then the case of these girls arrived and they had a man selling a firearm on Facebook was still NP because

it was still Facebook that they used. So this man was a military man and he was selling his gun, his personal gun that he carried on Facebook and they agreed to buy it and asked for two girls, that's the only case I heard about an attack on a school carried out by a girl, the others are all boys, and then they agreed on a price and so on and asked him to deliver it to a certain address at a certain time, one o'clock in the afternoon, at the address like that. When he went to look

at the GPS, he saw that that address was a school and then what did he do? He did it instead of an hour he went at 7 in the morning He looked for the principal and said Look there are two students here so and so who agreed to buy a gun and I'm worried well then when they arrived at 1 o'clock in the afternoon the teacher the principal Call them to talk, they both admit that they were going to buy a gun, kill their classmates and commit suicide, simple as that, simple as that, two 13-year-old

girls, as if it were like this, we're going to buy some gum, put our classmate's hair in it, then they went to the police station, they came to the hearing The first girl comes in, a very skinny, very white girl with straight hair in front of the R, like, kind of an emo teenager, right, kind of emo, kind of like that, Samara, called that, you know, something like that, looks like that, kind of sinister, like, like, like that Girl was clearly not there very sad, kind of disorganized And then the first one comes in shortly

when the second one comes in, it's the first one again, they were identical twins and they and no one had warned me, right, so twins When you see identical twins there's always a break From Logic, right? You always get that one second of fright like Surprise because it's something that breaks logic Imagine that in the audience I got goosebumps from the fright I got And then the story It was as follows, the two of them studying in the same class their whole life, with a non-standard appearance, so they were bullied, no one spoke to them,

they were the strangers that the whole class called and they only stayed with each other at a certain point, their mother was giving a statement and spoke she was referring to the girls, so she said it like this, I was in the kitchen and she was on her cell phone and then she did this, she made roast and the prosecutor who worked with me asked, when you say she, are you referring to which one of the two are we going to? suppose the mother spoke to both of them the mother referred to the two daughters

in the same way as if they were just one in the singular so there were a lot of questions there about invisibility And so it was then 2020 2021 the schools were closed because it's a pandemic So no had an attack 2022 2022 started again and 2023 was that madness that we saw last year and then when it started like that at the beginning of last year when that wave started again and one case after another started like this, the very serious cases and such I said no, wait, no, no I can't, but it stayed

for me. It's impossible to stay there between the four walls of the courtroom, seeing so much of the suffering of these young people, the amount of invisibility they were going through, knowing the trajectory because it was always the same story that was repeated and I didn't do anything, I needed to get out of there and talk with society, you know, it wasn't morally or ethically acceptable for me to keep this knowledge to myself and that's when the idea of ​​creating a work, a project to prevent school violence, we started talking to organizations in the network

with partners And then The I see you protocol was being designed and why I see you protocol because what we want is for them to be seen From the First Moment From the First Moment because in practice what happens they are invisible suffering all the time while they are victims of violations while they are victims of the invisibility of bullying of violence they are invisible When do we see when they stop being victims and become aggressors but we see it with a very clear and obvious objective of punishing and incarcerating and placing them in a

place where we no longer need to see and So I said, I said, Vanessa, I'm not going to be part of this perverse system, but I'm not going to use my pen to incarcerate this guy anymore . I'm school monitoring everyone closely with the mental health network so I wanted a service methodology so I hold periodic hearings I don't judge the process it's there with the progress process suspended And then from time to time depending on the case Every 15 days or from now on, once a month, I'll space it out as it gets better,

then it gets worse, I'll reduce it. So I'll have a mental health appointment, usually capsi or when there's a health plan with a private doctor who works with a psychologist, but usually it's capsi, the family education because then I I bring the school to re-include reinsert restorative justice, which is a project of our court that I coordinate. So here comes the facilitation of dialogues, the peace-building circles and they are doing well, you know, so we formed a partnership with ipub so there is a psychiatrist from ipub assisting us, they are fine, we are able to

really see and reverse this, right completely, because it is also not just about informing, I think that informing is fundamental, but it is a prevention, it is a prevention, because otherwise you drying ice, right, exactly in the sun, you stand there and always see the same things happening, bodies, right, exactly, bodies. We have to stop counting pores, almost feeding this question, what will be the attack most fueling what lives on the web, right? so interesting what you're talking about is because people don't have any idea about the deep web, parents don't have any idea about

the deep web and you can often see these children, these teenagers, they're being, they're not being induced, but they're like, you get recruited, you're going to show up. will be respected they will understand that they can no longer do this with you, which is what the therapeutic process should do, and no, yes, and so, and there is a change from 2019 to 2023, which is the virtual place where these attacks are combined, it is no longer on the Deep web, right, no, this has migrated to the surface web By that in 2023 there were so

many attacks so fast so many so I don't have the total data but we had more than 200 attacks in Brazil in Brazil in 2023 I have this statistic I can look then it's not enough for us, right ? on the river in São Paulo, but we had some attacks carried out as soon as there was an injury And we had many planned ones that were interrupted, many hundreds, police, the police very quickly learned to investigate Public Ministry acted very quickly and the judiciary very quickly, so we managed so I was at one time March

and April 2023 when I went to sleep making the decision to seek and learn the teenager before it happened before he entered school at 7 am and I woke up looking at WhatsApp talking to the police chief at 6 am to see how I was going to comply and if it had been complied with, because any professional, right, who works in an area of ​​great responsibility, will make mistakes, right, the psychiatrist will make mistakes, eventually, a patient commits suicide, the judge will make mistakes, right? Convicting an innocent person no matter how much we try not

to do that or letting someone who shouldn't go free go free, and so I don't have the illusion that in my 20-year career I've never made a mistake, I've probably already made a mistake, I didn't mean to. never unintentionally trying to do the right thing but I'm like it's very likely that I've already convicted an innocent person or acquitted a person who shouldn't have been acquitted but these cases of school attacks for me were like that, one was not something like that I didn't I could handle it if I No, I wouldn't be able to

live and continue being a judge if I made a mistake, if I, through my fault, a tragedy happened at a school, so it was something that I was very attached to, you know, you're very attentive so as not to have any holes, you know, it's not just me. My decision is like this, the notary's office should not fail to issue the bailiff's order, it was handed over to the police chief, everything arrived and he managed to get it, I don't know what, there couldn't be a hole, right, and we really managed to have a good

situation here and reverse the situation because in 2024 the number of the general public doesn't know this but in reality there is a not so silent mass mass and you had to act on what was not what could have been s we don't even have markers of success because how can you measure prevention, right, how do you measure prevention, how do you measure the number of attacks that didn't happen , you can't measure it? There was no attack this year But there was no attack this year why Because they didn't plan why the investigation was

effective because the school environment is changing, right ? attacks did we have in 2023 how many did we have in 2024 2024 there were nine 2023 I think it was 247, right extreme attacks like this planned threats of attack in fact now it was because of the protocol I can't say yes even if you don't agree, we have no way of knowing why. But going back to this issue of migration to the surface, which is very interesting. In the past, until the pandemic, the virtual place where these attacks were discussed and combined was on the

Deep web, which is It's much more difficult for a teenager to access, right, so they access some, but you have to have the VPN, you have to have knowledge, it's not simple, now it's not very simple because it's in the palm of your hand on your cell phone, so you have it on discord, which today is the worst platform for all the most used to commit crimes discord tiktok Twitter Instagram and then there is WhatsApp Telegram, so any teenager with a cell phone in their hand can find an extremist community that is organizing attacks at

schools, which is also why it was so difficult in 2023 and And so, this is the story of the protocol, so what we want is for they are seen from the very first moment by the school and by the families, right, because invisibility is not just within the school, most parents don't know that their child would be there planning, they don't know anything literal and they don't know why they don't do their part Ahem Because like that a something I always like to talk about when parents are like this oh but I'm going to invade

my child's privacy I don't know what Look 100% of the attacks 100% of the attacks were combined over the internet 100% were handled on the internet that is 100% 100% could have been avoided if parents monitor what their children do I had a case where the father saw that an attack was being committed and he informed the police He reported his own son the police understood, imagine Diade, right? It must be difficult for the father to do this but the fact is that he saved lives because this boy would probably go to school and kill

people and kill other teenagers, how does a father who ignores himself, a mother who ignores herself in a situation like that live afterwards, right? How can you live knowing that you could have prevented it and didn't do your part, and your own son could also die in one of these actions and reactions, anything could happen, right? I've always been against this child and adolescent privacy thing, but I I remember that I had a lot of difficulty with parents when I say this doesn't exist, you don't want to have this responsibility, I understand, but if you

think that he has the autonomy to decide everything, there's something wrong. You know, the majority have a culture and I I don't think I know about Brazil and people say this, it's that mother who takes care of you, you take care of her and then she reaches adolescence out of nowhere this mother says like this, no he is now Take medication and then you say how old the 12 year old is, no, he is that if he turns around he has to turn around alone, she He gave the medicine, you know, then you say like

this, so let's make a transition, right? Let's do a test, he starts doing it like this, he takes a medicine on the weekend that you're there to help supervise No, no, I already said it, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's resolved. that he grew up decrementally and that's not how it happens, not me, so my opinion is that today we are experiencing a crisis in parenthood and I don't think it's Brazil. that the current generation of parents in the which I include myself, I have two teenage daughters. This generation is a dysfunctional generation of

fathers and mothers in the sense that dysfunctional because CPR is not their function as an adult within the home within the family, so I always say that when I I give lectures to parents in schools, I always talk and ask questions and it's kind of cool because I see the little hands raised from the fathers and mothers, my generation when I was a child, right ? ali childhood years 80s 90s the very end there of generation in a violent way, you heard phrases like don't argue with me, do what I say, I'm your mother, swallow

your crying, stop crying, otherwise I'll give you a reason to really cry and things like that, you'll do it because yes period and then came the theories of Positive parenting of education not of attachment and of the importance of socio-emotional education which is all wonderful the problem is that people got lost people not understanding one pattern for another did not make a composition people They didn't understand, Bia , because when we talk to serious parental educators about positive education, for example, no one says to let people do what they want. hit so I can't do

it nothing and then we migrated from an authoritarian education to the worst type of education that we have which is permissive permissive so parents today are very permissive so they can't set limits They can't play the role of an adult I say it like this it seems I see it in my courtroom because it's difficult to get there, schools see this in the principal's office and you certainly see it and psychiatrists see psychologists in their offices and it seems like there are a bunch of teenagers living together and there are no adults at home, right?

That's because teenagers in the sense that The teenager is an impulsive selfish being who wants reward immediately and doesn't want the boring part of life, that's fine. The teenager being like that, we've had it there too, that's fine. The teenager being like that, there's nothing wrong with the teenager that's like that . What is wrong is a teenager who is 40 years old, there is a psychiatrist who is a friend of mine who I love, who is Ricardo Krause, who works with teenagers, he says a phrase that I love, which is that we are experiencing

an epidemic of adolescence in society, the few adults we have there are We have to take care of everyone, so that's what's happening, right? And then when you say that a mother turns to her son and says, oh, he's going to take his medicine if he doesn't take care of his problems, it sounds like my daughter talking to her sister, right? It seems like a brother's conversation, it doesn't seem like a mother's conversation with her son, right? Because when we were there in the 80s, my mother would never say that, never would my mother wash

her hands and talk like that, it's not my problem, right? So I think that It's a question and then you you know better than me that Contorno is missed and then North is missed and here comes depression and here comes a meaningless life and then comes self-mutilation and here comes what we are experiencing and here comes the increasing suicide rates of suicide exactly suicide second biggest cause of teenage death today on its way to being the first soon because it is increasing in geometric progression Worldwide Worldwide that is why I say this is generational this

is not not from Brazil or from Latin America or or from those who are very poor or from those who are very rich, that's something that belongs to this generation of people and that's the fight, right? So, I think one of the aspects of our work is trying to bring awareness to families about the importance of assuming this adult place and then within that adult place there is something which is understanding that the virtual environment is not an environment firstly it is not a private environment it is a public environment secondly it is not a

safe environment because when families understand this that there is no privacy on the internet there is no privacy on the internet everything is monitored all the time and it should be more, we even need more monitoring of what happens, it's easy for us monitor you moderate at home because the goal is moderating o tiktok is moderating Google is moderating And that's right and I can say it like this I can prove it by A plus B because I receive investigations against teenagers every week for digital crimes cyber crimes that came for example via Interpol but

whoever triggered the investigation It was bigtech that monitored what that teenager was doing online, saw that it had criminal content and sent it to Interpol or sent it to Nick MEC, which is today the main organization fighting pedophilia, right, abuse, abuse sexual children on the internet and human trafficking so Eh what's going on the mother doesn't know but Google knows then the police go there Knock on the door a photo says so do you know this one I had a case a 14 year old boy with a lot of pedophile material He was on Telegram

in a pedophile group exchanging child pornography material about sexual abuse, info, yes, and And then he uploaded these photos and videos to Google, his photos in the cloud, in his private personal cloud, I understand, I understand, there was a photo of abuse sexual Google sends to Interpol at the same time and then automatic and it was a baby who was being abused then the police arrive at his house knock on the door the mother answers the mother the police shows the photo and says do you know this baby she said I know he is my

brother son on the father's side we need to take your son to the police station so this is how the family finds out that the teenager is involved in a criminal act by the police because they don't monitor because if they moderate, if they monitor, supervise, how long would it take to discover that the boy is in a pedophile community in telegram, right And you know that many times it starts not even because he's a pedophile, it's because it's a curiosity, something like that, it's there Discovering one's sexual life, he saw a scene that caught

his attention and then he starts looking and becomes ensnared by that group And then There's something that also happens, which is the fact that often these young people who get involved in attacks at school or in criminal groups, extremist communities on discord, which have a lot of those white supremacist pans of misogyny, they're boys without friends, so socially isolated without friends who suffer bul so what are they looking for they are looking for belonging exactly D more teenagers he needs to belong to a group exactly And then where does he find belonging where is he

seen that invisible boy all his life where is he seen in these groups there people listen I have a case of a boy now it's a case that really impressed me because I've seen that the tiktok algorithm is throwing teenagers into criminal communities on discord I've already caught two cases out of interest, right, not the algorithm It's exactly this boy aged 11 He searched on tiktok, you know that teenagers use tiktok as a search tool , right, it's no longer the Google tool, right, those who use Google are the old people, right ? I want

find out what you can do to get rid of acne, go to tiktok, how to moisturize your hair at home in the female universe, right, I have a girl, go to tiktok, Roblox game tips and fortnite, everything is on tiktok So this boy put it there on in the extreme right magnifying glass he was interested in knowing about the extreme right, he researched there and then the algorithm started bombarding him with extreme right content and one of these contents was a link, a photo with a link to a profile of a a better community saying

a pot a white supremacist community on discord then he starts attending an 11 year old boy a child starts attending And then he gets there he starts to be heard he starts to be valued he starts to feel like someone that is seen And then it gets worse And then he starts saying that we have to kill the lesbians and that we have to make it happen and post photos of Nazi symbols and he goes, you know, he reproduces that behavior because he wants to be like his peers and then with 13os like that is

a good thing he thinks he's forming self-esteem exactly And then at the age of 13 he is investigated by the Homeland Security investigation, he arrived like this, you understand, so that's it and the family had no idea that he was using any of this, each time you repeat it, it's increasing a lot, ok A lot very much, it is becoming more and more because in my opinion, firstly, because access to cell phones and social networks is becoming increasingly earlier, there is another problem that I think so I don't really see how we are going to

solve this, which in my opinion is the biggest risk of all of social networks is the following it's the bubble of single thought because why do I say why do I say that it's difficult to solve this because, for example, solving pedophilia on the internet we can demand more content moderation and, right, and a more effective algorithm that can achieve this, there is technology for this now because I find it very difficult to solve the problem of the single thought bubble because this is the backbone of the existence of the social network the social network

it only exists and it is addictive and it is pleasurable because it does this it puts us hostage in the bubble of those who think the same as us and me I think this is the main reason for the polarization of society nowadays, so society is so polarizing towards adults and all ages because we only listen to what we think And then it's obvious that Aquila is the only truth when you suddenly look to the side and your neighbor who thinks differently who also only listens to what he thinks you say but how can a

crazy person think things like that, right how can someone believe in politician x or Y not see that this It's obvious, right? And because we're hostage to this now, imagine children and teenagers who have never had any experience outside their bubble because childhood, family is already a bubble, school is already a bubble, we are leaving this bubble as we grow, right? You're in the first bubble there in the family, you start going to school, you start to have a little diversity but it's a bit of a bubble too because you're going to choose a school

that you can afford with people from the same social class with similar values ​​So who is more liberals go to a more liberal school, those who are more conservative go to a school more conservative and so on and then when you start to live even as you get older you start experiencing the world as it is and seeing a million possibilities but the social network has already left that mature Zinho brain totally hostage to the single thought So this is very worrying, violence is increasing a lot, there is something that Jonathan hde talks about in

his book that when he talks about the problems of social networks, which is the lack of embodied relationships, exactly, I think this is also one of the causes of increase in violence because they do things in the virtual environment that You don't have the courage to talk looking into the eye, look into the eye, yes, the other person, that someone has a fraction of a human being, you know, in physical contact and you're saying that, eh, I'm going a little further, Vanessa, I think it 's not. No wonder we have an epidemic of pseudo narcissists

because everyone wants to see each other but because that you think that pseudo you think that they are not real narcissists no I think so because if we are going to talk about narcissistic disorder it is something that comes there because it is a type of personality So you start to see it very early, right Now I think that today there is an epidemic, I think that if it is the rule, not everyone is like this, what we call primary is something that has always been what you see today, social media is encouraging this behavior,

so you see everything world why Because Narcissus finds it ugly It's not exactly what you said, so if everyone, I stay in this little group here and the other little group, I find it very strange and I want to eliminate that group, so today we fight, I've been saying this a lot, we fight, it's not because of ideological differences, what think because the 80s, I lived the 80s very well and we met in lower Gávia or lower Leblon, people who had completely different political parties, we toasted, we played and when the other one won, It

wasn't ours, it's ok, we'll talk about the next one, we'll win and this next one sometimes didn't even come but it wasn't like a family thing to fight about the other one kicking the other one out of the house, that's such an absurd thing and the logarithm does that because really, if the person doesn't have knowledge , and I think you have to start very early, explain that everything that's out there, social networks were created to capture consumers, I'm not here discussing whether it's legal or illegal, now if I know this, I have There needs

to be an antidote, so look I'm going to tell you about an experience that I went through recently, I shared it on Instagram on Instagram Story, it's news about those teenagers, not young people, actually university students, from PUC São Paulo who were cursing in legal games those from the university's quota holders. poor and such and then the news was that four of them were fired from their internships and I put it there and said talk to your son about it what a great opportunity for you to show it look they didn't even post it on

social media they were there at a live game But Someone probably filmed it a friend filmed it, posted it , it went viral, it had repercussions and they lost the internship at a good law firm, I think it's a way of showing them that taking away some of that feeling of youthful omnipotence, you know, that anything can happen and nothing will happen because the mother which is boring, nothing exactly, eh, and then the news I shared was from an extreme right-wing press outlet and then a follower of mine went there and commented on the message

in the story there, she said, newspaper, not for the love of God and then I said, look I make a point of following many media outlets with different positions because I want to fool the algorithm I want to fool the algorithm it's on purpose because I want to hear what the right says what the left says what the far right says what the Far left says what the center is For example, it was very interesting for me to read the comments from this newspaper's followers about this news I wanted to read what they were going

to say about it they said that mimimi that since when is calling poor a crime It's racism in NE so it's interesting because you know how the other person's head works I don't want to be resentful, I don't want to stop following all the newspapers and only listen to the one I know which one I identify with. There are some journalists I talk to, I think exactly the same as him, but I don't want to see that's all there is. Another one you say like that I think totally different but I understood his point of

view and I want to know what those people think so I can debate and talk about whether I think it's important to try to bring the argument to make him see another side, right ? adult people today with all the information we have about how algorithms work They still think that I still refuse to follow Oh but you will give engagement then and there No, you're talking about someone more or less following what problem I went through a similar thing because I followed all the presidential candidates, I think it's normal, right, you follow everyone, listen,

I want to hear Men. as I followed several I also follow several newspapers with totally different lines and then a person like that knew who you were, I don't know which person, man, the other one comes in, unfollowing me now on the other side I said people, do you follow so-and-so, I said I follow all the presidential candidates if you notice me I follow all the presidential candidates, that is to say, at what point are we reaching an inspection of the content you consume, right, that is not necessarily what you agree with, on the contrary,

There are things that you follow to say, so it's good that I continue to think differently than that now that I'm sure I'm not going to vote for him , right ? my way my way doesn't exist And then I think that because of this whole scenario of precocious use of the internet at an increasingly earlier age, we are seeing, for example, bullying has always happened, around 11 years old, from 11 to 14 years old, it was the most sensitive age group. of bullying bullying is happening with 8 year olds because and I think it

is because in my opinion because of the poor use of social media so what is happening 8 year olds bullying on Whatsapp in the school WhatsApp group children who don't they should have cell phones they shouldn't using WhatsApp is being used without adult supervision, not a cell phone should be something that cannot be given to children, it should not be given to children, I think there are countries where this already works, I think we are going to move towards this, I see it this way, look, I I started defending the banning of cell phone use

in schools in 2018 when my eldest daughter went to primary two, she went to sixth year and then at the school where they studied in the background of one it was prohibited in the background of two it was allowed at the time of recess And then my daughter didn't have a cell phone and then She started asking me for my cell phone because she was alone at recess because everyone was on their cell phones and then I went to talk to the school and said guys, let's maintain this ban for at least another two years

until seventh grade because that was sixth through eighth. year and then people looked at me I was crazy like that, people who are crazy mothers are the ones who are saying that you can't have a cell phone what's the problem with cell phones that was in 2018 today there are a legion of people all over the world who already understand that cell phones are a problem so it's changing, we already have 60 countries that have banned cell phones in schools here in Rio de Janeiro, the banning of cell phones in municipal schools was an action

like a courageous decision even by the secretary of education but it was a job of convincing that the what we had was a meeting with me with Daniel Becker who is the pediatrician who is also very involved in this fight so we have a little finger there I tell Daniel I'm the godmother you're the godfather of that's right that And then I'm already I officially have my license plate the most hated person by teenagers in Rio de Janeiro, so with a lot of pride, a lot of pride, right, a teenager's annoying mother is because everything

is fine and I'm the annoying one of all the teenagers and now we're starting the second stage of this discussion in the world that it's from what age you can use the social network, so Australia has now banned it from under 16 years old and I think so, I really think that in about 10 years, 20 years we'll look like when I have grandchildren I I go Talking to my grandchildren, did you know that when your mother was a child you could use a cell phone at school? Dean said so, what do you mean, grandma,

because I think it's the same as cigarettes? Do you remember that when we were students, the teachers used to smoke in the classroom on top of the students? of the small students, there was a closed cabin, there was a section for smokers and non-smokers separated by a cloth curtain, the students smoke, the high school students, which was It wasn't high school, it was high school, they smoked in the courtyard during recess and everyone thought it was normal, and when it was, smoking began to be banned in some places, at school, at the hospital, remember, the

doctor smoked in the consultation in front of the patient when We say this, imagine a doctor smoking, a doctor, a nurse, smoking, in a ward, in an emergency room, in an emergency room, how can it be, right ? cell phones will really be a thing here In a decade or two, we will look at this and say, I can't believe people thought this was normal, it's not a child, right? that a generation will be penalized for this, I think that a generation will suffer irreversible consequences, they are already suffering, right? They are already losing social

skills that will not be recovered, right, just like you recover the recess that you didn't play, right? of mathematics if speech some schools speak like this Ah, but you can't use it in the classroom in the classroom because if you have it on your cell phone in math class, you'll get a low grade or you'll repeat it or you'll get it back. Ah, you get your math grade back, which you don't. recover is the playground you stopped playing with is the conflict that you stopped learning to resolve is the relationship that was not established is

the belonging that you don't have then you will see the number of sick people getting sick right and what worries me more Vanessa is that this generation of parents they will be Parents will be a little more chaotic, they will still be parents, fathers and mothers. I think so, I don't know how it will be, but I worry too much, I think that's why I hit this button so much, I didn't even want to talk so much about the issue of use. cell phone but I can't move on to the other topics I wanted to

talk about because then we get stuck there, you know, you said before, you, the teenager, had to sit in front of a computer, ok, ok, it was all in his hands today and each time a much more powerful computer is much more oo any smartphone today has more technology than all the NASA computers that took man to the moon Yes, you say that, that's unimaginable, understand? It's unimaginable, but if it were today they would just be a cell phone, they would just be a cell phone, a cell phone with a cell phone he made the

atomic bomb, he defused the atomic bomb, he really did Bru, let's put some calls here that we saw from Vanessa, right? The use of cell phones in schools encourages bullying because relationships are bad now, do you think the parents are what worries me? Vanessa is that Many parents are also addicted to cell phones, I think that Many parents are addicted and many parents use cell phones as a support network unnecessarily and I know that every time I bring up this subject I talk like this, let's try alternatives and give the cell phone the other day

I made a post that went like this, instead of giving your cell phone when you're preparing lunch, alternatives like this, put it to Cri, give her some dough, give her something, call an older child to help cut the vegetables, I don't know what WHEN THERE ARE ALWAYS COMING THOSE comments like that ah But you are elitist you don't see the single mother you this you that and look at the problem with the cell phone it's not the single mother who needs to have an online meeting and give the cell phone to the child to stay

entertained the problem is a family that a middle-class family goes out to dinner at a restaurant and they're all No, not just give them their cell phones, everyone's on their cell phones, everyone's on their cell phones, you see a family, mother, father and two children and there are four cell phones each at the table and no one talks and that's it. what we are talking about, right when we say that we have to reduce the use So I think that parents like this need to look at this, having children from work, educating, work requires dedication

and patience, I think there is one thing that, yes, I think that long-term investment with no guarantee of return of anything is true and so there is There's something that I think is a thing in Brazil, in some other countries, but also in Brazil, this thing like we need to have children, this culture like you have to have children Women today, the feminist movement, you know, is bringing this thing about choosing not to have children and women who say I don't want to be a mother, she says, you're a psychopath, you 're crazy, you're crazy,

you're a you don't like no one you have to die is a soulless person, right, as if it were natural for a woman not to want to have children and this is what we see in Brazil, this thing like Ah, it's natural to get married and have children in part where I think we have an ease of Hiring domestic service or of hiring maids and employees to help will get even more difficult And then it is possible to delegate the child to many people, of course not everyone can afford it, but for many people it

is still possible to delegate child rearing to a nanny or a daycare center to an employee for a driver and we don't see this in other countries, you know, in countries especially where it is more difficult to have this domestic help, this workforce is very natural for people not to have children like this, my current husband, who is not the father of my daughters, stepfather He is German and he has no children and in Germany It's very common not to have children, so there aren't any, it's not an existential question for him, not having children,

it's ok, he has several friends who got married and didn't have any, they decided not to have children because they wanted to do other things, one decided, a couple decided to sail all over the world, and decided not having children and the other one finally V decided not to do anything else it doesn't matter because He decided not to have them And this is not a cultural problem there not having children just that then they have children but they don't feel like getting the bad part, right or the difficult part, I'll say so, not the

bad part, but the hard part of having children, you know, you don't get a full night's sleep for years, you have to pay attention, you have to monitor them, so I saw a survey that 60 I think more than 60% If I'm not mistaken 68 for Children say that they often ask for attention from their parents and their parents are distracted on their cell phones and 62% of Parents say that their children often talk to them, they are distracted on their cell phones, that is, they give automatic responses that the child then records and speaks.

I do this look here why the mother is like this ok ok ok ok ok ok you're not listening listening you 're not listening And then you're doing this with the child then it's logical that the child will soon want to have a cell phone too when he arrives In adolescence, I think I saw someone say this once, I don't remember who it was, but in adolescence we reap the fruits that we planted in childhood, so it's a whole childhood of inattention, right, a whole childhood of neglect. When he reaches adolescence, parents feel that their

child is far away who doesn't want attention who doesn't want to talk who doesn't sit down to eat but that was the example that was given So I think there is a problem with adults, yes and there is a problem with adults that they are addicted to their cell phones but There's also the problem that adults have to displease the child a lot as if they were and won't love me, that's why adults are childish like that, more than childish, one is me, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm going to get in here to give my

Pitaco here in the area but I think it's something a little narcissistic in the sense of like I just want to hear I love you I don't want to hear I hate you I don't want to hear you are unbearable I hear this from my daughters straight away I you are unbearable okay I now tell them when they Talking to you like that is unbearable, talking like that Thank you, my hand, praise, praise, mother of a teenager, I hear that it's unbearable, it means the following, I'm not doing it with my present paper, no, and

it's present, that's it, I'm present I'm setting limits, I'm taking care of the way that's best for her, even if she doesn't like it and I get scared when I see her saying I'm my daughter's best friend, I also say, oh my God, what a thing, huh? Because then the friend puts her hand over it I have an example that proves that it's not because these mothers who say I'm a best friend they don't understand what friendship is, they're confusing it, they don't even say what it means to be a mother, I always give this

example when I give a talk, I'll give it a spoiler here I say like this imagine Next, your 14-year-old daughter, who you think is your best friend, turns to you and says, Mom, I'm leaving school, I'm not going to study anymore because I saw a Trad Trend on Tiktok, have you seen this tradwife, traditional Wies, that is, let's go back to the an C women are housewives, procreating, taking care of the kitchen and cooking, receiving the husband with tidy hair with high heels and no need to study, so there are women today living like this,

this is a Tiktok Trend that your 14 year old daughter is watching and I'm not going to study and I'm going to be a trad of the love of my life that I met a 40 year old man that I met on tiktok this month So what are the chances of this girl leaving again go home alone after she tells you this because she is not your best friend her best friend who must be another scatterbrained 14 year old girl is capable of saying like this oh my my friend go deep go live this passion

don't listen to your mother not your mother are you with I envy you because you're young, she's old and your mother is toxic because I read about toxic mothers on Tiktok, so you understand, it's not a friend, it's not a friend, friendship is something else, a friendship, a horizontal relationship without hierarchy and the parenting relationship she is hierarchical, hierarchical, exactly they want to exercise this power, she is hierarchical, she needs to be, right ? we want what we want but it's not like that there has to be a hierarchy but it's not a hierarchy of

imposition violence it's responsibility responsibility care, right, the role of parents, the legal obligation of parents is to care, protect and have to pass on responsibility, even if that against the will of the children if it is the best for them exactly and not take anything personally, right ? nothing with you he hates his limitations about this transition, now you're going to say this, a father said to me like this, he hates me You saw that he said he hates me Then he says it like this, I hate you too It's like two children fighting, right

? and I think it's important for us because what I see is that people, families are lost, right? Everyone wants the best for their child, people don't do it out of harm, you have some people there who are negligent, who are more than not there empathy but the vast majority do this because you're lost because you don't understand, you don't want to be exact, finding your name, we just name it, that's not friendship and it's important and he doesn't hate you and the place where you have to hear I love you is not necessarily from

your son's mouth if You need to listen, I love you, go to therapy, build good , good friendships, everything's fine Maybe he'll talk, you'll have a great group of friends who will emotionally nourish your needs, preferably have a partner, a partner who will tell you I love you often but it's not your son that you have to seek this satisfaction, right, and I think there's a slightly narcissistic component to this relationship, saying we have an epidemic of narcissism that isn't legitimate, I say it's secondary to everything we're talking about here because we have to please

the all the time, right, you always need the like, the engagement, the like, the parents, my princess, my prince, what is this, royalty is an epidemic of Royalty, because imagine being a princess, it's horrible, it's horrible, poor da law Look at the end she had Poor King Charles spent his life waiting for his mother to die and incapacitated without being able to do anything without being able to do anything he has to follow that schedule he can't say that he can't have the woman he wants he had to die so he can be with the

woman he's wanted since forever That's my prince and I think that this is this issue, this is the mentality that my son deserves the world, my son deserves everything, that it's something like that, which is also causing this illness because there's a phrase like I that I that I I have heard, right, we hear and what I have said to parents because this is a problem this is how my son has to be happy what I want is for my son to be happy no matter what he does he can do what he wants as

long as he is happy that is a lie we cannot do what we want as long as be happy there are a lot of things that we would like to do and that would make us happy but we can't there are a lot of things that we don't want to do but that we need to do even if they don't make us happy, right? that it is your responsibility as a human being in the real world, life as it is I was reading a report I was listening to In fact, an analysis of some data

from that American payroll, I think the last one that was released or the penultimate that 60% of young people from generation z after getting their first job within a month are fired exactly What's up? Why are they fired? I was analyzing the causes of dismissal, one of the causes is that they don't like doing the boring task, they just want to do the task . toxic exactly or the work environment is toxic and the other day I was seeing an acquaintance of mine who is a psychologist and she was saying that her 22 year old

niece got a job on a trading floor in São Paulo, I think she's going to resign because she can't stand her co-worker, she has an abusive colleague and What does the abusive colleague do? He sits next to her in the cafeteria and eats with his mouth open, making noise and she finds this unbearable, so she's going to lose a great job, she's going to give up this great job because she can't stand the colleague chewing making noise Now imagine when a child sits on the side and chews and throws everything on the floor, right, closes

his mouth and says he's not going to eat, throwing a banana, it's terrible, look, you know, it's like this, it's really immaturity and so on But where does this come from? I don't want to do this because I want to be and happiness has nothing to do with doing everything you want, this is joy joy An emotion I need like this oh I'm happy because I got this mug there's a reason why I bought this dress because I don't know V happiness has Happiness is about fulfilling a purpose exactly meaning and purpose to life and

exactly And then when we look at these researches on happiness that conclude, right, those Harvard studies and such, what we see is that the key to happiness, if there is a key to happiness, is you discover something that you love to do and that with that you transform the lives of others for the better and yours you become a better person by sharing it with others exactly but look how many families talk like that my son will discover what you can do to make the world a better place, on the contrary, this is how the

world has to be better for my son because he deserves all the best we don't teach children that they need to be agents of transformation and these Harvard studies are nothing more than a reissue of ancient philosophers epithet is the philosopher of Happiness is the practical proof That's right, exactly what was said, I don't know how many thousand years before Christ, it's true, you know, then you start to look and talk like that, people were already there, people start putting on makeup, I think there is knowledge that becomes fashion, right? And there are some that

are like so now it's not fashionable let's not take this thing away from respect, that's bullshit , right? And this hedonistic thing, right? I have to satisfy myself all the time ? and then you see more and more the feeling of Loneliness the feeling of a meaningless life drug use drug use you fill this void that is depression anxiety depression CDA self-mutilation all because you are not the human being in essence He was born to have meaning and purpose if he doesn't have it, he's not even a human being, you're going to say this guy

is human, he was born, he's already human, he's part of the species, now being human is construction, he has no objective, you know, and I see this today If we can't change society, to say that every being human we are 8 billion people 8 billion different people each one has a meaning and purpose And this void If people didn't pay attention it was because you said someone enough I always arrive for a child Who are you? Ah, I study in a place like that, I don't know that my father has a car like that, I

said no, I didn't ask what your family has, I'm saying who are you because meaning and purpose have to do with the essence and are not made this question nor the Ps when you say this I'm not an engineer I said no this is what you do who are you when I asked you, right At the beginning you said to me I have an essence of justice and wanting to make things happen to transform society people 's lives , when you go to the word happiness it comes from the Latin Félix who is Fruitful Fruitful

is what bears fruit right so there is no happiness just for me if I am not a person that my best does not impact the best of others you are not happy and then when people ah they killed themselves but why There was everything, there was something that wasn't happy and when we see even the protective factors are related to this, right, you see protective factors in adolescence, you go, you go to work, you do volunteer work, you take care of an animal, you know, you get involved in a collective sport is always like this,

cooperating with others it doesn't exist there you have a protection factor for drugs for mental health it's not this individualistic thing like people are saying it's not there every time if you are me I'm very curious I always see it I ask the team to see the number of influences that you take from the world uhum yes and it's increasing a lot then you talk people but it was full of likes it was I don't know what it was I don't know what Yeah and the emptiness and the sense of purpose that not talking no

one said and everything The world has it, you have to look for it, there's this hole there, right? Yes, it's true, let's go bruh , the debate about the end we've already talked about a lot, right? I think it's also going to happen, I think it's going to happen, yes I also think it's a matter of time. I think I'm hoping that next year school will start without cell phones in schools in Brazil because Ferreirinha is the secretary here in Rio and is the rapporteur of the bill in Congress, so it has already been approved

in the chamber of deputies and will go to the Senate. It would be good if the senators voted quickly, I think enters into force until February is if vote quickly, right? You have until the 20th, right? I don't really know the deadline this year. But anyway, we are, but if it's not at the beginning, Leo will be in the middle, but that's a reality soon in the bril, that's good news because I'm even thinking about the teachers can't compete with, it's impossible and people, the world is in their hands, people, eh, they talk like that,

ah, teachers have to retrain themselves, they have to approach new methodologies, people, it's impossible, it's impossible , there's no way it's done to be irresistible, updating o I use example like that of a fruit a child who eats fruit well Suddenly you start giving him another processed fruit you start giving him candy you start giving him stuffed biscuits see how long it takes for him to give up the fruit there is no way because the taste becomes accessible to the natural sweet It doesn't, it needs more stimulation , it needs more stimulation because it's too

resistive, it's too stimulating, it's a stimulus that nothing in nature gives, right? taste buds and action directly, the social network is the same thing as what we have that acts like a drug, cocaine, the crack, right, the other day I was seeing someone who said to Bet, it's the new fentanyl, it's our fentanyl, right, fentanyl, that drug horrible United States is killing everyone and cities are becoming zombie cities Zum there and here we have online betting when you see how much of the GDP is spent on online betting that's how when you could take this

money and invest it in education for example it's scary barbarity Let's go to the pipinho reporter but this is interesting, isn't it because I'm a big fan of parental education, there's a lot to do because there are good professionals, there are few but there are many good professionals Because people really don't know how to deal today, they lost their hand Come on, my dear pipinho reporter We have a community called sustainable human being with more or less 2300 people and every time a guest comes we announce it about 15 days in advance, they go to

your Instagram and look and send us their questions, okay, okay, let's go bru Doctor Vanessa many mothers need to use screens to entertain their children while they work or take care of other tasks or take care of other tasks, what are the impacts of this practice on children's development, we've already said a lot, but it's but I'll answer first and I don't agree that mothers need the screen to entertain their children while do chores Because mothers have always had to do chores, they have always had to take care of the house since the world is

the world and screens, smartphones have only been around for about 10 years, so before I had a smartphone, I was a mother of children who in several moments I didn't have domestic help and I managed example of preparing a meal or doing something that I needed to do and my daughters entertained themselves with other things so the child is entertained with whatever you give them if you give them a cardboard box they will be entertained if you give them a puzzle she will be entertained if you create one she will join in There are many

many ways to entertain a child without resorting to screens I think the screen is easy right it is not essential it is easy because it is it really entertains her hyper the child hyper focuses, right? It's really made to be hypnotizing now it's not priceless so and the screen does a lot of harm the sooner the worse so just to make it clear the Brazilian Society of Pediatrics recommends up to 3 years of age zero from TRS to six zero screen except short periods with the adult on the side watching the same thing that the

child is seeing So that's not what the question is about, it's not about giving the screen a quick look while you go to make lunch and then from 6 1 hour and 12 2 hours a day, so it's very harmful for young children who use the screen, they have a greater tendency to develop myopia, and there are areas of the brain for language development that are impaired, and finally, there are a lot of problems that come with speech. and it's it's it's there's a problem with creativity and the reading of facial expressions is impaired so

it's not worth giving the screen away so use other resources because like the story I said about ultra-processed foods, if you give a child only fruit, they'll eat the fruit If you start giving brigadeiro candy then you offer it to the fruit it won't want the fruit so it doesn't give it the screen gives it other things give it a box of G Cira and some paper give it a colored fabric cheap things, right, that story that meme where you gave the child an expensive toy and the child is playing with the toy box, that's

what gives you a cardboard box I remember when my daughters were little there were no smartphones Thank God so I didn't have to give in to temptation eh On a sunny day we went out PR to go to the street, I went to the square, on a rainy day it was like hell that I had to stay indoors and then I remember like this, one day my daughter must have been around 5 years old, she was learning to write, I said go, go play, turn around with what we have in a little while, when I

looked, she had drawn a bunch of food on paper and pencil and marker and cut it out and written the names there, everything was all wrong, you know, steak, cucumber, tomato, rice, I don't know what, and she set up the plate there and went she spent hours doing it This was while I was preparing lunch, so this day marked me, I took a photo, it was there for posterity, so it's not necessary, it's easy, it's comfortable, but it's not without risk, and then I ask, imagine, the child is small, 1 year old, 2 years old,

3 years old, no. sleeps all night you're tired you need to sleep and she wakes up wakes up to feed wakes up scared you have to put her to sleep again would you give your child a threesome rivot to sleep on the mat Of course not, right because you also need to sleep we don't do it This is because we know that it is It's bad for children, it's not without risk, it's not without consequences , it's not without risk for adults, yes, but it's not something harmless, so the screen isn't harmless either. of using

the screen, that's why I invest so much in the peace orientation, very much, I even like to talk about, for example, the issue of the restaurant, right? Oh, you're waiting for the food to arrive and then families hold the screen there to watch a little video on YouTube until the food arrives Take a look at the Turma da Mônica comics, give one, take one paper and a pen PR to color but you know that most restaurants today, if you order, they don't even have the ren anymore, for example, one restaurant I was with my grand-nephews

and then I arrived before going in and I said is there any way to get one, a pencil paper Wax but markers we have Oh , no, and when mine were little, I carried them in my purse, I took a molesquine notebook, so don't molesquine, a cheap notebook, any notebook without a pallet box of colored pencils that was there that lived in my bag, you know, that there was it was from the restaurant it was from the restaurant so after they started writing then we played hangman then we started playing Stop then we played games

the old lady, I know she was running by when we saw the food had arrived, impressive how playful it is, fun is entertaining, right ? connection right, you strengthen the bond because when everyone is on their cell phone or you are there, you want to have a glass of wine with your husband and talk to adults and children on the cell phone. She is completely disconnected from her parents, right, totally, and so I understand that families You know, adults want to have time for themselves, but this will be missed. Childhood only lasts 12 years. Childhood

only lasts 12 years. Something Daniel says a lot, he says, medicine is advancing more and more, we increase longevity, but we will increase the time velice childhood continues Always being 12 years old It's only 12 years since your daughter will be a child and anyone who has an adult child knows how to miss that childhood So you have to take advantage of these reversible moments there luff told you something so beautiful that she said like childhood It's territory that we walk on our whole lives, so if these 12 years aren't very cool, my dear, you'll

step on that ground for exactly the same amount of time and the parents will step on it too because it's the relationship they'll have with their children, right? That connection is missing. I have one friend who lives in another country, I'm not going to say which one it is because I don't want anyone's susceptibility, but that's what she was saying, as it is, it's a well-known country where the children are very obedient, the parents are very strict, very authoritarian, violent, they still hit a lot and then she said, I'm impressed, for example, she said, I,

my mother came to visit me, she's my age, that's my friend, my mother came to visit me and we travel together through the interior of the country and my friends are surprised because so it doesn't have that the old man doesn't receive visits from his children, he doesn't have that connection But of course the old man doesn't receive visits from his children because he spent his entire childhood . and it's over, right? If it's Generous, until now the adult, the elderly person has the money to pay for their own nursing home, but the fact is

that we're going to reap these fruits, so when we have these moments of connection there, Wow, so little time there 20 minutes are you waiting to arrive a dinner connects with your child, plays, right, it's time to encourage reading or writing, right, learning, stories, children, if you let them tell millions of stories, it's impressive, and how you tell a story, they like it, they want you to repeat it 10 times, yes exactly and as a problem we played like this we traveled by car to the lake region we played counting red car more car so

now there is no way to travel without cell phone in hand we traveled our whole lives without cell phone in hand silent world irritated ex next Bru Doctor Vanessa what has been the impact of addiction to digital games on the lives of teenagers and what are the biggest dangers associated with this behavior I have received some cases very scary, right? I had a case, I think seen in the game and seen on social media, I had a case of a girl who violently attacked her mother, in fact, making a parenthesis here, this year, 2024, a

very interesting phenomenon happened because in In 2023 we had that wave of attacks at schools that decreased in 2024 but the violence did not decrease what happened was that it changed location so in 2024 we started to have a frightening number of domestic violence committed by teenagers against female mothers and grandmothers of the family, so I have several teenagers with a protective order from Maria da Penha who are prohibited from going near their mother or grandmother because of physical aggression and then many, most of them in the context of addiction to electronic games or online

betting or social networks So this 16 year old girl she hit her mother with an iron bar the mother went to the police and asked for action and the girl the story is as follows the girl is completely addicted to some Instagram pages NS influencers who sell like that, like life coaches. courses like that, I don't know, a woman of great value, and, uh, change your life and five days and be happy forever, that type And then she wants to take these courses because she is an unhappy 16-year-old girl like all 16-year-old girls are and

she thinks that if you take these courses Her life is going to be wonderful and her family doesn't have money to pay and then she gets into trouble and ends up attacking her mother in one of these situations and she goes in. During the hearing, she is always using her cell phone and she goes on her cell phone. I have to tell her to turn off her cell phone. to be able to talk to her and then an hour later, mother, her mother, she left the audience, her mother saying that she spends all day, all

night on Instagram, doesn't sleep, spends all night on Instagram, doesn't sleep, I said okay , so we're going to put it here is a court order to place the parental control application and limit the time I use Instagram, I can do this through ECA, right, a protective measure two hours of Instagram Instagram per day for a long time until, you know, per day she had a psychotic episode at the same time she was taken by Samon I have another case of a boy who used his grandmother's money to bet online 16 years old the grandmother

cut it off, I don't know. took the card he beat her the grandmother said I don't want to look at his face ever again so that addictive behavior that we saw all our lives with cocaine users we're seeing now with cocaine users That's one problem the other problem is that they mainly online games very violent games like Roblox GTA and Fortnite they confuse reality with fiction so the thing about not having consequences we had a case like that I'm going to comment a lot in the spirit of a boy who killed his parents here in

Rio, right ? I judged and there was clearly a lack of seriousness of what had happened, right, this doesn't happen overnight, it wasn't like that yesterday, he arrived and killed his parents, no, this is something like an addiction to any drug, it goes on an escalation that doesn't It's seen, right, it's not seen, and that's where it is, it's invisible all the time, even when this extreme invisible violence comes, it's an addiction like any other, I always say that and there's abstinence . opened a situation me me I opened a box the other day on

Instagram asking what change in behavior did you notice in your child due to the use of screens Uhum I knew there would be bad answers there but I got depressed because things like that my son was a happy child he was I used to play, he played football, he had a lot of friends, now he's cutting himself off and he's depressed, my daughter was an avid reader, Alia, I don't know how many books a month she stopped reading. so because it is a generation imitates a territory that only makes comparisons and comparisons always undo one

thing and you know what that makes me sad too, which is the following, man, the parents are the ones who give out the cell phone, understand, it's not your son, he wasn't in the smoke trap buy cocaine, understand, ex, what you can give it is in your hand, you see your son cutting himself, depressed, what are you waiting for to take away your cell phone, right? growth hormone to grow why not they grew because they don't sleep or even TDH which is sometimes an ex false diagnosis because in fact you are inattentive because you are

not sleeping secondary you are sleeping You are sleeping Sleep the cell phones bot on the transom don't take it off don't take it off the screen I say look at the first measure that I teach there the combined ones Minimum things to do when giving your first cell phone one of the combinations the cell phone doesn't charge in the child's room the cell phone is never with the parents at night turned off If you can't do it because for example oh I just discovered this my daughter is already 16 years old she uses it for

an alarm clock and this blocks put the parental application to hibernate the phone looks from sleeping it hibernated it will only wake up it will only wake up from this hibernation at 6 am for example And then you avoid being left with this chronic sleep deprivation and this app is not just for teenagers who they have reached a point of infraction, no, this has to be for everyone, it has to be like this, to give them the first cell phone, they already have to share it with perfect parental control. Many children have early contact with

inappropriate content on the internet, such as pornography or violence How can this impact on your cognition and your behavior So this is another issue that I find very worrying nowadays and what is happening is that children and teenagers are having their first sexual contact with pornography without having any experience in real life if they have never kissed anyone with tongue, they start to rely on hard pornography and then again, I 'm not a psychologist, but we know that a child, for example, who is entering puberty, watches a sex scene, she will probably having is an

excitement with that scene, right, then it starts to have a very high sexual stimulus reference, right, high and distorted dist and something that gives an excitement that is not real life excitement is not the real life quote and it is not there is not one and there is not a step by step, you know, that thing like Conquista's kind of touching the girl, you see that back in the 50s, you saw the girl's knee, it was already here, something where you went to the cinema with a little boyfriend, touching And then we have two We

have problems with this and there are reports from doctors of young people aged 18 to 19 who can no longer have an erection, a huge number of people addicted to pornography, men and women, right, I think it needs to be said, it's not just men who become addicted. women too and the other problem that I think is that there is an increase in gender violence there is an increase in gender violence among teenagers a lot of misogyny which in my opinion comes from access to this Industrial pornography which is violent misogynistic against women right then

I have some cases of consummated feminicide in my court that arrived a few years ago, so feminicide among teenagers had never happened in Rio de Janeiro and it has happened to boys aged 15 or 16 who kill their girlfriend because she ended the relationship at that level, eeea sexual violence so we look at it because nowadays it's not enough to rape, you have to rape and film and share it, or else there's no group, right ? judging these cases in the sense that the proof is there because they filmed and shared it is not just

the moment of the sexual act because it seems ostentatious it is almost ostentatious you know what it looks like to me it seems that for this generation what was not filmed and shared it didn't exactly happen, right? What happened is only if it was photographed, filmed, shared, posted when it happens, there's no record of it, it didn't exist, it's as if it hadn't happened, as if it hadn't been experienced, so they rape and film it And then when we watch these videos, it's very clearly the reproduction of an Industrial pornography scene Exactly exactly, you understand

I had an affair A few years ago, an upper middle class boy, all of them, right, the teenagers involved, all victims, also students from a private school here in Barra da Tijuca, super super, well renowned, the girl He got lost with his parents, he stopped by, he said he was going to sleep at his friend's house, he went to a party with his colleagues, all of them very young. And then at a certain point, all the boys were fighting. jujitsu, they immobilize her with rear naked choke, they put her on the mat and they all

put their penises out and force her to have oral sex and she screams to let them go, she curses them and they reproduce a scene that they saw in some movie that they certainly didn't have any Sexual experience, they were 13 years old, I don't know, but they were playing a movie, so I think this generation is addicted to four things and they transition into addictions, they are addicted to pornography, they are addicted to vape cigarettes. electronic, they are addicted to social networks and they are addicted to electronic betting And so they go, right, if

we look at the brain, everything is the same, it doesn't make any difference, it doesn't make any difference, the way the brain works, that cheap dopamine that goes there is consumed quickly and what is more and want more and queer more and queer more and when they are not on the on the eternal scroll they are smoking a vape in the school bathroom school I ask PR the boys when I am going to give a lecture PR the students I say like this you know what drug do teenagers most They use it, they say, leather,

it's the vape, and do you know where the most fumba comes to them at school? Where at school, in the school bathroom ? They say this because it's legal because it's illegal, right, and it kills, it kills very quickly, so the time I like is when I shock the teenagers and I explain why it's illegal and why it's harmful and how it works, I say it. That's how I say it because I really believe in it, it's not just to shock but I also want to shock, yes, I believe, I believe, Vanessa, I believe that

in 5 years' time this group of teenagers will be going to the funeral of some of their colleagues, but they are certainly already going, they are already there, they are Wow, that's terrible, Vanessa, people, but there's no how to be different is that neither the excess of pump nor the use of good in the gym you go to the gym you know who uses it and doesn't use it there's no point it's not all accurate then they say it's a vaccine it's not it's an anabolic one dies one dies because of nabolic you can see

the comments oh, they took the vaccine exactly and they are Young young Young young people 10 years of use it's regular regular it's already completely changed the liver it's already changed the eoeo vape mata has two TR years of use right it's very fast that they'll use it right it's an AB thing they don't use it like If it weren't, it's not a cigarette, it's not a cigar, the smell is good, it's terrible, right ? nicotine all the time, the amount of nicotine is very high and they, with those fluids, are putting it in and

so on and I'll tell you that I'm very worried about the vape thing because I don't think we're going to have young people who survive and won't have lungs I saw the other day, they won't have the lungs to swim, they won't have the lungs to run, right, those who survive, the other day I saw Margarete dalcom, that P, say a phrase to Pedro Bal, that I'm saying that phrase to the boys, but I say it also for me because I'm the mother of a teenager and she says, we're going to have the first generation

of parents who are going to bury their children, they're going to die after their children because of V because of V exat people, this is something very sad, very scary what's happening and they Everyone uses direct direct And then the ee have they choose the ones who sell they choose a Popular within the school and this one Popular is selling to everyone, don't you think that a question is a doubt of mine, you as a psychiatrist Don't you think What is this early use of Screens like? an addict mind for these other addictions You certainly

said something because any addictive functioning puts the dopaminergic system to work in this cheap way Vapor Barato right There is a song by Caetano Vapor Barato puts this to work and the addiction is migratory since the system is activated any situation that triggers it is quickly transferred I can't, for example, eat, right ? is exclusive ex That's why once activated it opens up all the possibilities for other Addictions it's me me it's what I imagine it's good for me to see you confirm this because I think it's very important for us as a society to

commit to postponing the moment of giving the first cell phone because that's the moment you give the first cell phone you Open a Pandora's box at home in life addictions for Addictions and for everything, not only for addictions but for everything that is harmful in society you say everything that a child shouldn't have access to, right, inappropriate content so you go have to explain to your son, what is pornography, how does a pedophile approach him about a pix scam ? impossible, right, exactly what you said next Bru, how Cyber ​​bullying has manifested itself among young

people and What aspects of interactions on social media could be contributing to this problem, well, I'll start with the second part, okay, I believe that the biggest problem is precisely this this dynamic of human relationships on social networks In other words, you interact with a lot of people at once and you don't have embodied relationships. So you have a lot of people but there's actually no one, right? There's no one on the other side, there's a little video of a social experiment that they did a few years ago in yeah because it was still Facebook

but it's really interesting they take a group of boys, I don't know, 12, 13, 14 years old and ask them to read some hateful comments on an Instagram page a girl has a profile and the boys keep writing like that and you're ugly you you're fat you're this you're that Su that's that su That's another I'm disgusting I'm ridiculous then they read it then they call the girl to come in and say like this now read it again looking at her and They can't read it some start and get stuck they can't read it because

when we look into someone else's eyes we don't have the courage to behave in a certain way because we see if we curse someone else we see the reaction we see the pain we are in causing us to have empathy You realize that that is inappropriate, right? So the other is important, he is someone, social media dehumanizes him in this sense, so the other is nobody, so if the other is nobody, it's very easy to do whatever the other day, Mom sent me a print that her son was suffering from Cyberbulin at school through the

students' school WhatsApp group and then a colleague wrote like this, if you cut, you kill, it's very easy to write, if you cut, you kill, there on a screen, it says flat, right, in 2D, the screen is always 2D, even when it appears to have depth, does not There are people who talk about looking at each other so that others can kill themselves if they cut themselves, some will even have courage but it is much less so as nowadays it is a minority and nowadays Cyber ​​Bullying is much more frequent than face-to-face bullying and the

penalty for crime is much more serious because it really has to be, not because it reproduces at an absurd speed because it reproduces and because it is permanent, right? Bullying is an instantaneous situation that happened at that moment, stopped there, in a little while, Cyber ​​bullying will happen again, you cursed he will be on air 24 hours a day number of people will PG number of people who will have access to that incalculable incalculable and how it has manifested itself among the youngest, especially children in school WhatsApp groups and a lot on Instagram explanation pages

that this is all schools TM Look for your children's school and you will find explanations or gossip or gossip and the name of the school. You will probably find anonymous Instagram profiles made to practice Cyber ​​bullying, and it is anonymous and they think it is anonymous, right? And there This is interesting because schools would have to have a scanning system. As TEC companies also have, as you said, the issue of pedophilia and violence is already directing it directly. Maybe schools don't understand that they will also have to having this role, I think that schools, many

schools are not all, but many schools still do not understand that there has been a change, a change in the dynamics of school relationships so the other day I was having a meeting with a school for a briefing and they told me this, oh the Mothers think we have to solve it when it's happening, oh there's a problem in the students' WhatsApp group, they think this is the school's problem, I I said this is the school's problem oh for God's sake don't say that to the mothers I said it but I have to say this

is the school's problem because the School Walls are no longer the School Walls the school's relationships try forol is no longer the territory is much broader much broader, there is a school territory which is physical but there is a school territory which is virtual and which is considered school territory Of course So you have so much that the bullying law this new law of 14811 If I'm not mistaken in 2024 it says that the schools have to adopt protocols to combat bullying and Cyber ​​bullying, both things, Cyber ​​Bullying is always in the digital environment, you

don't need to see if the time you posted was at school, it doesn't matter if you were at school and that's what I saw the other day a case like that It's just that not even an accident at work , we're heading to work, an accident at work children and saw so-and-so who was a 12-year-old girl from that school, a sixth- year student, went to the top floor of the shopping mall parking lot and had oral sex on the boy and that was the gossip that this girl was talking about. And then everyone printed it

and ran it. girl of 12 years of being exposed and what it said there had happened was that she had been a victim of rape, right? Because if a 12-year-old girl is going to have oral sex with a 16-year-old girl, she is being raped by him, look how serious, right? girl exposed there like that victim Unconditional Oh but they said that at the weekend but it doesn't matter because the whole school is talking about it Oh but this happened at the mall it wasn't at school it doesn't matter people the whole school is talking about

it the girl is included she is isolated is being pointed out in Recreio That's the school's problem, she's a victim, a victim because she was a victim of rape and even if she doesn't know, I don't even know if it's true or not, but even if it weren't true, the fact is that she's being exposed and that's all. the fact that exp embarrassment underage on social media is already a crime and and she is this is happening within the school this comes to school what happens on the weekend at a party at a review on

the beach on a trip this comes to school right the world It's not the way it was when we were students it was sectorized and this is even a problem that generates anxiety and depression because I see it this way when I was a teenage student, most of my friends at school were terrible, I didn't like them, there was bullshit, they were fake, they gossiped, but then I had my friend from the building who lived in the building I lived in, which was wonderful, my best friend Liana, if you're watching now, she professes a kiss

to Liana, so I left that school where the environment was toxic, to use a fashionable word, and then I went to my house, had lunch and went to her apartment and they were oases because then we had a relationship of super affection, a lot of true love, a lot of connection, we listened to the LP, translating Jorge Michael's songs and playing the hole, we spent the whole afternoon listening to Jorge Michael's LP and playing the hole and I only had to worry about that problem with those fake girls at school when I came back the

next day or on Monday anyway I had some time to take a breather they don't have that anymore because I left school and then it starts gossip on WhatsApp and on things and then and then in a little while on the weekend and then the girl sees that everyone is on the beach she wasn't invited and that everyone is doing a review and she wasn't invited And then she starts feeling like rubbish, excluded, isn't there, isn't there one? break is a chronic stress because when you have Acute stress You know, right, the trauma is much

less but the problem is that it is a chronic stress, the social network makes this chronic stress remain perfect all the time and Knowing gives this comparison thing, right? you have that follows a pattern that is not for the person who is not the Teenager or who doesn't even know what it's going to be yet , right? that children cause to other people up to the age of 18, so anything that your child does up to the age of 18 that causes harm to someone can be sued in court and have to pay compensation, for

example for moral damages or psychological and psychiatric treatment to the person who suffered harm from Cyber ​​bullying, it could be avoided if the parents monitor, right, and the parents have the duty to monitor because they are responsible for what happens, there's no point in saying that later, oh, but I didn't know, the boy wrote to the other boy if he cuts himself, he kills himself, if that boy cuts himself, whoever said that cuts himself? commits a crime and his parents have to pay compensation for this child, he is a minor, the parents will have to

pay for the minor from the age of 12, he is responsible, the teenager, right, is responsible for the infraction of encouraging self-harm, now financially, right, civil liability, what is this? compensation, but it's up to the parents, so there's what you can't look at, there's no way not to look, you respond financially, how are you not going to look, maybe you don't know, there are many cases that happen and it ends up that despite the girl being a victim and everything, they prefer not not to open the case so as not to expose more more than

what is exposed And then I wanted to say something about what you said, Bia, because I see it this way, I have heard a lot of reports from girls who tell me that they were raped And then they often say this to my mother He said there was nothing I could do because I had no proof. So the proof is the word of the victim, certainly today, it is important to say this a million times, I know that there is still a lot of institutional violence, even in the judiciary, and we, you know, especially female

judges, I think they have important leadership. within the Judiciary of trying to reduce this institutional violence until it ends, but today we already have mechanisms, the law of special testimony, so we don't need witnesses, the witness is we know that rape is what we call it a clandestine crime or be him It's done without anyone seeing it, right ? one on the body, there won't be a proper body exam, no, it's not necessary, the victim's word is enough . trauma I think is exactly part of the process of trauma healing she feels that her word

is worth It's worth exactly perfect, this next Bru share one you 're talking about SA bu uh hey I remembered something when I was in high school I was still in São Paulo, you know, I took a candy ah, I'll be happy, hey I remember I was in high school, right around 2014 or 2015 and I remember something happened there every end of the month someone made a video that people said was top 10 top 10 of the most beautiful girls in school Um, and every time this video came out there were fights like that,

sometimes an ambulance even showed up there, no one knew who made these videos, no one knew but they, the pretty girls, fought with each other, it's because of the placements, that's probably what I was thinking and then no one I knew who made this video and who published it because it was an anonymous profile, right, back in 2014, 2015, so every end of the month People were already expecting it because they knew there was going to be a fight and it was probably one of the girls, I don't doubt it, I doubt it I don't

doubt it but today you can identify my son Yes, today that's not it, that's another issue too, teenagers are very surprised when I tell them, there is no such thing as Anonymity on the internet, it's very easy, we find out very quickly who is there nowadays, even the platforms have tools for direct investigation with the judiciary, so I send it there, for example meta, there is a Law enforcement meta tool if I copy the RL from an Instagram profile and send it within 24 hours They give me all the user data, that's how evil will

always be one step ahead, right, we will always be one step behind, but I'm the one who talks to the parents if you are one step behind your child you catch him when he falls if you are 1 km behind he will fall alone exactly you fall with him then there is no way around Bru Ah what is the most significant impact of excessive use of social networks in mental health and adolescent behavior you gave several, right that one The girl's psychotic break , right, when was it taken? Wow, it's countless, but I would say

that the most addictions are a consequence of addictions, empty, a consequence of empty, anxiety disorder, depression, suicide, and I think there's one too, so everything is related, right, but hey, I think that Excessive use has brought a great feeling of loneliness because they are losing it , you know, and we know that the key to happiness and good relationships is human connection, right, when we have good relationships, relationships with good connection We're fine, right? He's a human being The human being is social, right, and his social relationships are very poor, very, very sad, very sick,

very toxic, very utilitarian, of very poor quality, with very little affection, with very little truth , and then they end up getting sick, right, like being alone. lonely and feeling depressed or anxious or with panic syndrome and they end up being a very easy item to manipulate, right? There's a question from Pisa, right ? they have a socio-emotional questionnaire There is a part of mathematics pedagogical tests But they have a socio-emotional questionnaire and one of the questions is do you feel alone at school and then we see the evolution of this answer, right, until 2012,

which was the year that smartphones came with strength in schools, this was more or less stable and suddenly the word exploded all over the world that was released last year in 2023, which was the questionnaire applied in 2022, there is the ranking of each country, Brazil is the fifth country in the world where students feel most alone at school and it's no coincidence that we are the biggest WhatsApp user in the world we are the second biggest user of Tiktok one of the biggest users of social networks So that's it, right? I think it's a

great result It's loneliness, the illness that comes from there, which can be illness, but it can also be another illness for violence. even infringed Girls, in particular, have a greater tendency to self-infringed, right? Girls' self-mutilation, to a lesser extent, boys have a greater tendency to violently control themselves closely, Bru there is a fine line between Invasion of Children's Privacy and the need for parents to monitor their activities to protect them, how to have this balance do a test do a test imagine the following your son who you think is very difficult to monitor because if

you feel about his privacy your son turns to you on a Monday at 10 o'clock at night and says like this mom I'm leaving then you question but you where are you going because tomorrow there's class ? Don't trust me, we don't have an open dialogue, you don't have to talk about where I'm going on the day your son can respond to you like that, you no longer need to monitor his cell phone until he can tell you that, while you react the same way. Bia laughing, doesn't she think her son is funny Talking is

you will say Negative you will say where you are going and you will not even go out because on Monday tomorrow there is class seven it is because your child is not ready to be alone on social media so it is not an Invasion of Privacy when you ask your child where he will you are not invading his privacy you know you are not invading his privacy you are taking care of it now of course you have to knowing why you're going to look at your son's cell phone is not to read the gossip about

who kissed who, whether the French kiss was good or bad, if he had breath or if it was nice because that's his intimacy, right now your daughter She's strange, she doesn't leave the room, she doesn't talk to anyone, what 's going on, she could be a victim of Cyber ​​bullying, she could be a victim of sexual harassment, we had two recent cases in the United States of boys who committed suicide, two boys who started suffering eh kink sex eh by people criminals who used artificial intelligence pretended to be girls and asked for nudes They sent

nudes and then they started to be threatened and asked for money when the money ran out the boys killed themselves so we have to see people this could have been avoided if the parents were watching what's happening you can avoid the internet it's the street the internet is not a diary it's a violent street it's a dark square full of strange weird people I use the following example what is a social network imagine a party your son is going to you Do you know that your son is going to this party? there will be a

psychopath, a pedophile, a scammer and, uh, I know, a recruiter, um, a drug dealer, there are 100 people at the party, there are four that are this profile, you don't know who they are, you just know that they are there, you leave your child alone at this party. way because that's when you leave him alone on the social network you're leaving him to this party alone ideally not even letting him go at least until a certain age when he's already a certain age that you think he can already go to this party you go along

and there will come a time that he won't fall for the scam of the psychopath and the swindler and then you leave him alone but this time doesn't happen overnight and it's not in adolescence nor in adolescence exactly it's not in adolescence n adolescence I think people are also lacking a little bit of literacy in adolescence, right? People don't know what a teenage brain is ? understand we look at this and don't It's a number, right? Because the age becomes older, it's not one day to the next, there will be 16-year-old teenagers who will be

mature, it's rare, it's rare, but they can be mature for some things, not for everything, exactly now, if we were to take them to AM ento L front we would think of 23 But you know there are some places I know massa chucs for example are discussing this that are discussing the increase in the age of criminal responsibility because of this increasing it to 21 years and we here in Brazil although we are of majority at the age of 18 and I am totally against the reduction precisely because of the lack of maturity until the

age of 21 there is a reduction in the sentence so between 18 and 21 we have a generic mitigating factor due to age because Because It is immature because it is already an adult But it is not yet mature, right, I don't mean that it became, it's not a thing of Ah, the next day I turned 18, it's not going to be an upcoming process Bru dout Vanessa could you explain what fakes and sex twist are and if there were any cases of these digital crimes that have impacted you personally, well, and Deep fake would

be this simulation of an image with artificial intelligence, unfortunately, I think that artificial intelligence came with many beneficial possibilities, but it is already being misused, so it is very easy nowadays a person looks like someone else, right? So a person can record the video with your image, Bia, and it's not you, and she will speak with your voice. I've already had it, and the voice is similar, the voice is similar, the way I speak, they generally took a video of me, they distorted it me selling options for things in crazy things my mother said my

fanatical daughter is asking if this product is good, what product is mother, I don't know what product it is, it's crazy Yes, but every week it is And then what's happening is like this, especially in the area of ​​sexual crime, as was well said D sex kink So we There are us, I had a few cases, in fact it has happened in schools all over the world here in Rio, it has also happened where boys took images of their schoolmates and turned them into nude photos. So girls who had photos on Instagram of bikini or

in normal clothes And then with the Artificial Intelligence application they removed the clothes and And then you have a perfect nudity, right because the artificial intelligence Takes that perfect photo and then These photos were shared by the boys and they were even said to have been sold, finally, of course They've already ended up on pedophile pornography sites because we know that it goes around quickly and then there's this case that I haven't seen happen here yet, but I've seen that it happened in the United States of boys who were victims of twisted sex that this

It's happening to girls and boys, right? They pretend to be girls, chat and such, create a more intimate virtual relationship and ask for their nudes and then when these nudes are used, blackmail begins asking for money and when the money runs out these desperate boys end up killing themselves for fear of being exposed because the Threat is I'm going to expose you at school ex I'm going to send it to everyone who studies with you You study at such and such school and I'm going to expose you and then the fear of being exposed they

end up in a moment of despair and impulsiveness killing themselves right next to Bru What types of situations or behaviors can lead a mother or father to lose custody of their children, well , losing custody is a more extreme situation, obviously, right, detention is an exception, so obviously it has to be something quite serious, so violating parental duties is right, the duty of care, the duty to provide emotional material assistance, practicing violence against children, ill-treatment, torture can lead to the loss of perfect custody of mother and father, mother and father, either of them, unfortunately, I

even say this, the childhood judge, I think who is the only professional who works rooting for the day that you will be unemployed because the day we become unemployed means that all the children are well taken care of in their families, understand. Unfortunately, this is not the reality for many, so we see throughout childhood children who are tortured children who suffer sexual abuse Sometimes the father or stepfather commits sexual abuse and the mother is conniving, so that's a reason to lose custody, for example, torture, mistreatment, not taking the child to school, leaving it inside cures

that, right, because this child will later, let's suppose, take it away from both of them and go for adoption. is is It's very difficult, right? There's no point in thinking that that wonderful child is going to arrive, a child is going to arrive who is scared, and sometimes he becomes an adult, um, right, a person who commits sexual violence is also very, very sad, so child sexual, very sad, next Bru, as a teacher, I'm indignant when some parents They complain when they take away their children's cell phones in class. You also notice resistance from parents

regarding the excessive use of cell phones. I don't understand, on the contrary, I see parents supporting the measure too much, even as a way of outsourcing What they can't do at home, right? They want to, but they don't have the courage, they don't want to do the boring part, right? They know the work, the difficult work, someone has to do the boring work, they want the school to do it, there are some who say I'm crazy that my son's school forbids it. but you don't need school If your child prohibits it, you can prohibit it,

right in your house, the law is you, so I don't understand, I think there must be one or the other in that sense, I had an episode, it must be the father or the mother, I didn't either, I had a look. What an interesting episode I had, I had a school, I won't mention it here so as not to expose a private school that banned cell phones in high school and then a mother of a 17-year-old student said that her daughter called the school, she told me daughter will keep using it on the phone because

I need to talk to her the entire recess And then the mother spends the entire recess talking to her daughter on the phone, so I think that this mother who is dependent on talking to her daughter, right? This mother who needs to go to PR therapy because she is there with one, she is dependent from the daughter that then she creates this codependency, right? Because then the daughter stays there needing to alleviate anxiety, generate this, manage this mother's anxiety, so I think she has some families that stay there, as I like to say, nowadays, those

who are not in therapy are giving work to those who are in therapy, right, the fruit We Are the result of a violent and authoritarian education that created bad people in the head and then they need to go to therapy, right now the school may not need a law I think it's important to say this you don't need to wait for the law the school can make its Internal Regulations now the school year will begin, the Rules can do the Regulations exactly the rule of that school can ban cell phones Several schools have already banned

private ones without having a school law and then when the person enrolls their child in that school they accept the rules of that school if they don't accept it they have to put the child in a school that You can use your cell phone until the law comes when you see the law, it will be for everyone, but what did they do to this child? I was curious, so, that thing, you know, about Psycho, right from school, talking to his mother that he can't, that's the rule. There's no way, right? But it's very difficult to

deal with someone who There's a structural issue there, you know, the child's dependency because that exists, right? Very close, Bru Doctor Vanessa I removed my 12-year-old son's cell phone because he was spending too much time on social media But now he's aggressive and showing signs of withdrawal, this is normal as I must act Look, I'll let Bia answer but it's completely normal, right? You took the cocaine away from him, how should you act the same way you would act if your son was addicted to cocaine, you took the cocaine away and he got upset, you're

going to give him cocaine back, no, then the same thing understand that your son has withdrawal symptoms but it will pass, I always like to remember it like this, remember when you took the pacifier from your son, he cried one night, he cried two nights, he cried three times on the fourth night, he slept like this, he will become violent, aggressive, irritated, then it passes when of addiction, this means treating it exactly as if you were treating any other addiction Let's put drugs and then they get more cocaine Your son is dependent on cocaine, that's

it next Bru ah we're here now Vanessa at the moment pipinho pipinho heard everything from us in our chat And then he wants play a game of ping-pong, so love, whatever comes to mind, is essential for living two families, I think it's my number one priority, three, resilience, resilience is interesting because it comes from adverse experiences, right, and families always want to spare their child from frustration so don't feel guilty about leaving your child frustrated because this creates resilience he will be a stronger person and a Possibly happier person because he is resilient perfect is

immunity right emotional mental immunity exactly four complete the sentence setting limits is loving five purpose of life Every day I tell my husband my husband works with energy transition, right, and the climate issue, I say let's save the world every day, so the purpose of life is to save the world, even though I know I won't succeed, I'll die trying to do your part, do my part to make the world a better, perfect place. If everyone thought like that, he would be better off, right? It doesn't have to be a big, small task. I like

Gand's phrase, right, be the change you want to see in the world, so I'm doing this, I'm trying to be the change I want to see in the world. six happiness I fulfilled God's purpose in my life seven complete the phrase the digital world is a danger eight empathy is natural for human beings we need to stimulate empathy nine If you could change something in the world what would you change the lack of love for others and 10 a phrase or a thought could be yours it could be the lugand can be anyone, I'm going

to stick with Alia Luf's phrase that you said because I think all mothers and fathers needed to think about this every day, right, childhood is the road we walk our entire lives, true, exactly the territory that we will always step on it, right? And we have I want to know how we are going to step into this, right, my dear, thank you very much, I learned so much from you so much. Thank you, table, thank you very much, I'm super happy to have come here, me too, you can be sure and look at the impression

I had when I was already stalking you, it's much better, much better, it was already good, it's much better, thank you, we have some little gifts here for you. cool, Dangerous Minds, which is a classic Yes, I haven't read it yet, I've only read it because of the thing in a little while, I have Dangerous Minds at school, I was even going to bring it to you to autograph, but I'm the one with the teapot, right , but I'm not, not in the rush I ended up forgetting We have to update he doesn't want to

update he doesn't want an update partnership Oh how beautiful with greater pleasure with greater pleasure and we can talk about the cases, right from the digital manager everything because I have to update him I really have to stop but you have wonderful data, well, I'm super willing to love it, so let's talk about it, I'll talk to the editor tomorrow Wow, the happiness that was written during the pandemic is cool and I think it has a lot to do with purpose with the meaning with which we talked a little bit and this one came out

I don't remember the oven, I saw it, I saw it, but I still haven't had a little more leafing on it, but I saw it, it's like a daily meditation, it's 10 minutes. No more than that, because that way I always wake up at 6 am automatically without desk with nothing and then I don't get up immediately I always stop and I'm like God wanted to tell me an image that comes to me I don't know what and a lot more phrases than images come and then I was always writing down these phrases but I

never thought of doing it nothing alone little notebook yes I always have a little notebook close to my thoughts ahem of everything I always travel I have several little notebooks that I revisit because I end up getting another one I end up getting it And then this one arrived this year Publisher I had a project for two books and there was no time and the material wasn't there as I wanted research material it wasn't what I wanted look there won't be a book there but Bia what do you mean you're going to do two and

now it's nothing I said it's nothing that's what I have to give in this moment there I said, look, I can do something, I can get my sentences. How many do you have? I said, I think 474, but I'm going to see with my son, then he says, no, 475 that he's a technician, so he stores everything, everything that's mine is stored, how wonderful and Then he said it can be done, I said, okay, I took some time for myself, that's good, I think everyone needs it, right, but it's not over, here we have an

ecobag for the kite with our message, make it happen, inspire, you can, kite, I went and then It's obvious that we There's a little notebook so you can take your notes, ok And here's a little mug for you to have a cup of tea, I loved mine, I'm going to make the cinnamon tea and remember, I'll give you the recipe and you can remember us, you can put everything away and they'll tidy it up later. for you, this team is super polite that Mamita Mamita educates, you understand that everyone is polite like a son, now

you will look at that camera For all your messages, you don't even need to look at me I would like to invite everyone to follow me Instagram page @pro Teujo in which I talk about these issues and others related to raising children in a school environment with less violence, more affection, always starting from the assumption that violence is not the problem. Violence is a symptom because she is a way of reacting to legitimate needs that are not met perfect Thank you very much dear we are finishing another episode of kite powder today it was with

this wonderful woman if you don't know I suggest you meet Vaness Cavaliere But you will find it on the networks @pro I see Go ahead and give it a try Take a look because then you will understand that violence, behavior, addictions and social networks, all of this is involved in human behavior because we are much more complex beings than you can imagine, but we can learn and we can collaborate so that we can be better human beings, who knows how to be human sustainable Don't forget to like share and press the bell to receive all

the news, thank you very much and see you in the next pod people