for thy loving kindness is before mine eyes and I have walked in thy truth Psalm 26:3 think well and do well a sermon delivered on Lord's Day morning October the 23rd 1870 by CH Spurgeon throughout this Psalm David is laboring under the fear that he should be judged and condemned with the ungodly world he feels in his own heart that he is not one with the enemies of God and he shudders lest having hated their society on Earth he should be shut up in their company forever his agonizing prayer is gather not my soul with
Sinners nor my life with bloody men in urging reasons before the throne of grace why he should not be reckoned in the same condemnation as the ungodly he urges not self-righteously but truthfully and confidently that there was a difference made by Grace between himself and them I have not sat with vain persons neither will I go in with dissemblers I have hated the congregation of evildoers and I will not sit with the wicked Lord I have loved the habitation of thy house and the place where thine honor dwelleth there was a difference he declares between
himself and the wicked even in the current of his thoughts while their thought thoughts ran upon the world vanity sin Rebellion hypocrisy and violence his meditations were upon all the marvelous works of God and especially upon his loving kindness thy loving kindness is before mine eyes it is an encouraging fact when we can honestly feel as before God that our thoughts are habitually exercised upon himself and upon Divine truth as a man thinketh in his heart so is he we may form a better judgment of ourselves probably from the tenor of our thoughts than from
any other evidence if our thoughts all go downward downward we ourselves are going but if there be some breathings towards the Heavenly some aspirations of our spirit towards the pure and perfect Father of Lights then may we have hope that we also are ascending towards the Heavenly places and shall dwell in them here after David could urge besides the secret evidence of his devout thoughts the public proof of his holy acts I have walked in thy truth it would be vanity for a man to find evidence of a renewed heart in his private meditations if
those thoughts were not sufficiently deep to lead him to practical godliness the thoughts become a valuable evidence because of their influence upon the life but if they were so powerless ly superficial that our daily life was in no degree affected by them they would be as salt that is lost its Savor if our actions are evil it is vain to take comfort from our thoughts if actions speak louder than words they may well speak louder than thoughts we must display outward Holiness or else our inward experience of Grace exists only in pretense say thou thinkest
of what thou Wilt But If thy whole conversation is according to the will of the Flesh and not after the will of God thy thoughts are not thou Hast deceived thyself as to their tenor they cannot be as thou sayest they are thoughts truthful holy devout and divine put the two together holy thoughts and holy living and you have two sure evidences of a renewed nature and if God has given you both of these though you will probably confess that you have them not in the measure in which you would desire to have them yet
bless the grace that is so worked upon you and rejoice this morning and go on in holy confidence to ask for a greater measure of the same Divine working would to God our thoughts may become uniformly gracious and our lives perfectly consistent with our thoughts and with the Divine word I mean this morning to take the two parts of the text separately and then to consider the link which unites them first then we shall have to consider the mind occupied with a fruitful subject secondly the life ordered by a right Rule and thirdly the link
which connects the two first then may every Christian know by experience to a yet Fuller degree what it is to have a mind occupied with a fruitful subject thy loving kindness is before mine eyes it is exceedingly profitable to the Christian to have always some subject of thought upon his mind for the mind that is vacant frivolous unoccupied will be sure to issue in a Barren and unprofitable life I fear to a very large extent in this age the minds even of good people are empty and void and waste years ago when the influence of
the Puritan age yet lingered Among Us the female members of Christian churches were generally women of very considerable education whose range of reading was very different from that of their sisters in these days and whose theological knowledge was profound while the men who were members of our non-conformist churches were as a rule persons of very clear doctrinal knowledge perhaps rather too much given to controversy and to pushing their own views without sufficient tolerance for the views of others but on the whole nonconformist Christianity was highly intelligent thoughtful and meditative men and women then when they
joined the church knew what they believed and believed what they knew they were prepared to be counted singular for their belief but were equally prepared to justify themselves for taking up so separated a position they were students of the word of God and of such books as opened up to them the word of God so that our armies of Believers if they were fewer than now were nevertheless very strong because the Warriors handled their weapons well were well drilled and at home in The Holy War I fear a great many Christian people do not think
much about their religion they give their guinea subscription they occupy their seat at the meeting house they attend the prayer meetings but they are little given to thinking out a system of doctrines or to ransacking the meaning of scripture contemplative Pursuits are not so General among Christian professors as I could wish not that I desire to see an increase of a certain dilettant class of people who are always expounding prophecy or spelling out types and leaving ragged people to perish in ignorance and the masses of our city to remain unevangelized the sooner we bury the
last of our prophetic Pretenders the better they expose truth to ridicule and rather hinder than promote the cause of Faith Louis Napoleon was to be the Antichrist and to conquer all Europe I wonder how they will play their cards now of late they have grown so impudent as to foretell the future with all the brass of a Sidell a lily or a Dr D I hope their failures will open the of the public to their Folly I so reverence The Inspired prophecies that I wish a race of students would succeed these charlatans we need devoutly
meditative people who will think about the precious things of God in a practical gracious way such as the Holy Ghost inspires men who are not forever occupying themselves with theories and speculations but with the solidities and with the Practical parts of theology a band of such men strong in the Lord and in the power of His might would have a great influence for good and if all professors were such the church would be rich indeed observe that when the Mind does not receive holy matters to feed upon as a rule it prays upon itself like
certain of our bodily organs which if not supplied with nutritive matter will soon begin to devour their own tissues and then all sorts of aches and pains and ultimately diseases will set in the mind when it eats into itself forms doubts fears suspicions complaints and nine out of 10 of the doubts and fears of God's people come from two things walking at a distance from God and want of spiritual nutriment for the soul if you believer do not meditate upon some scriptural subject your minds will probably turned to vanity or to some Evil Within yourselves
and you will not long think of the corruption within without becoming the subjects of a despondency which will turn you into a mistress despond is or a mist of feeble Minds whereas by musing on the Promises of the Holy Spirit you would grow into good soldiers and happy pilgrims of some who do not feed their souls constantly with spiritual nourishment Satan takes an advantage and fills them with Unholy thoughts it is a very frequent complaint with persons who desire to be in the fear of God all the day long that they are molested with horrible
insinuations Dreadful suggestions and revolting ideas and they fly to the pastor sometimes to know whether they can be the children of God at all or if the children of God what remedy they can use by which they shall be able to escape from this horrible torment I suggested yesterday to a friend laboring under this serious complaint that he should take care never to go out in the morning without placing under his tongue a text of scripture like a wafer made with honey and I exalted him at all times to occupy his mind with Heavenly subjects
so that there should be the less likelihood of the thoughts running after that which is evil the best way to prevent a bushel measure from being filled with chaff is to fill it first with wheat if the channel of the Soul be filled with a strong stream of devout thought there cannot be much mud and filth lying at the bottom a powerful stream of holy contemplation will scour the thoughts and bear away the foul deposits of Unholy thought there is nothing like keeping the mind occupied for Satan find some evil still for idle brains to
think upon it is true that weeds and nettles choke The Good Seed but it is equally true that when The Good Seed gets strong above ground it will choke the weeds where Jesus is the buyers and sellers are driven out of the temple day gon Falls where the ark comes when Israel comes in the Canaanite must go out fill the cage of your heart with the bird of paradise and the foul birds will not have it all to themselves if our souls shall become so full of thoughts of God and things Divine that vain thought
shall be banished it will be a fine growing time for the plants of the Lord's right planting learn from the text the usefulness of having some sacred topic before the Mind's Eye David in selecting the topic of divine loving kindness did well for let us remark upon that subject that it is first of all a rightful subject of meditation I mean it is our bound and duty to think much upon it some things we may not think of certain other topics we are barely allowed to think of but other themes we must think of now
the loving kindness of God is one of the things which is not left to our choice we are bound to meditate much upon that as Dr Watt says oh bless the Lord my soul nor let his mercies lie forgotten in unthankfulness and without Praises die shall God day after day send such store of Mercy to such unworthy ones as we are and shall we treat this continuous generosity as a matter of course and not even think of it base in gratitude let us scorn such mean if we ought to think of our duty to God
and of our violation of that Duty yet much more of the loving kindness which makes our duty pleasure and which covers over with a mantle of love the transgressions of Our Lives infinite goodness is a rightful subject of meditation and it deserves a large share of our thoughts it is besides a good subject it is good in it self and it will do us good the loving kindness of God by no possibility can any harm come to us from retaining that subject too long in our minds a man who has but one idea will sometimes
become an unbalanced inharmonious man often times he will fall into obstinacy bigotry or rashness through the excessive Indulgence of that one thought just as one feature exaggerates out of proportion with the rest will make an ugly countenance but you cannot think too much upon the Divine loving kindness you may make this if you will the one sole topic of your thought and yet Escape narrow-mindedness or one-sidedness it has so many Links of Union with all other subjects that when you consider this it will bring up as it were compendiously a whole circle of profitable meditation
think of the Divine loving kindness and it shall be good only good and that continually as you Muse upon it your thoughts will humble you why such goodness to me to me who am less than the least of all thy Saints the same theme will be equally sure to comfort you is the Lord so good to me then amid every adversity my spirit shall rejoice in the Lord and glory in the god of my salvation to think of this will stimulate you to be full of loving kindness to others who may have acted unjustly or
ungenerously towards you as God hath loved you so bounteously you will be bound to pity and assist the poor and needy this subject will benefit you in all respects and harm you in none ring this Silver Bell again and again it is good for the hearing moreover dear Brethren it is a wide subject to set his loving kindness before our eyes is not to select a narrow theme which we can soon exhaust it is a boundless topic the loving kindness of the Lord hath no beginning you may fly backward to the ages past in meditation
deep and long Divine loving kindness shall have no end you may look into the ages yet to come with joyful musings loving kindness is high as heaven to which it shall lift you it is deep as hell from which it has redeemed you it is wide as the East is from the West for so far ha he removed all your transgressions from you here is a subject in which you may expatiate without limit or fear of repetition if hitherto you have bathed in this stream up to the ankles proceed in meditation deeper still for you
shall find it a river to swim in a very Broad River that cannot be passed over the width of the subject is one thing which leads me to commend it to you as a theme for the most expanded intellect in time and in eternity and it is a pleasing subject thy loving kindness is before mine eyes nobody need grow weary of this it is like traversing a country in which every single inch of the road opens up a new Prospect here you see the loving kindness of God in the land in which you were born
in the times in which your life is cast in the mercies with which your life is surrounded you may see the loving kindness of God in your temporal mercies you cannot go to your house or bed chamber without seeing it there you see that loving kindness even more clearly in spirituals what a blessing to to be interested in the Covenant of Grace how many a Holy hymn awakens memories of The Tender Mercies past how this very house and the seat you sit on refresh your Recollections as to what God has done for you in days
gone by The Loving kindness of the Lord I never knew a man grow heavy in spirit from meditating upon this never knew a man become weary of the cares and burdens of life through thinking of God's loving kindness n but he has grown stronger to bear his burden or to fight his way through times conflict when the loving kindness of the great preserver of men has come visibly before his mind and you may add it is a very plain and simple subject and one that is suitable to us all the loving kindness of the Lord
is a topic that can be reached by The Babe in Grace and yet will not be Superfluous to the most advanced there are topics in scripture so profound and surrounded with such metaphysical difficulties and rendered so much more perplexing by the wisdom or the unwisdom of divines that one might almost say to the Christian thinker you may pass those by for you will never get much out of them the quartz is too hard there is too little gold to pay for breaking up but when you come to this subject the unskilled convert May sit down
and meditate on the loving kindness of God and be edified while at the same time the most proficient scholar in the school of Christ shall find something fresh and new every time he meditates thereon Thou Art little read thou sayest thou Hast little access to the thoughts of Great Men thy Bible is thine only book ah well but the Providence of God will make thee a second and the experience of thy heart touching Christ and things Divine will make thee a third volume and put the three together the Book of Revelation the book of Providence
the book of thine own inward experience and with these three thou Hast a wondrous library and in them all thou mayest read the loving kindness of the Lord towards thy soul I will finish this part of my subject by saying that this is always a suitable and a seasonable topic the young Christian in the early flush of his Joy may think on the loving kindness of God it will help to keep him joyful and yet to make him sober the venerable Christian matron May a she departs dwell still upon this topic and tell to her
children and her children's children of what God has done for her in your health or in your sickness in your wealth or in your poverty in your joy or in your sorrow still this theme of the loving kindness of God will be congenial and healthful this you may study on the top of a Mana when you have passed by the leopard's dens this you may rehearse in the valley of humiliation when you lie down with the shepherd boy among the flocks and sing he that is down need fear no fall he that is low no
Pride this you may think of when you are fighting with aolon and the darts fly thick as hail yay fiery darts that burn as well as wound and this you may think of in the Valley of the shadow of death when heart and flesh fail you this may be your last song and as you enter into Glory it may be your first soon shall I pass the gloomy Veil soon all my mortal Powers must fail oh may my last expiring breath his loving kindness sing in death then let me Mount and soar away to the
bright world of endless day and sing with Rapture and surprise his loving kindness in the skies I have thus introduced to you the topic for mental contemplation we will at once proceed to the second part of our subject the psalmist sets before us a life ordered by a right rule I have walked in thy truth I wish we could say this as positively as he does each of us I'm afraid we should have to alter it and say I desire to have thy loving kindness before mine eyes and to walk in thy truth I shall
invite each of you to look over your Diaries to see how you could make such a statement and the following remarks I offer as Reflections to help you he means first by the words thy truth I have tried to order my religion according to the truth concerning God and the way he should be worshiped I have worshiped the true God in the true way I have searched to see what and who God is how he would be served and in what way and according to what I have learned from himself I have walked in his
truth can you all say that why even all Christians cannot say as much they worship God yes but how as their fathers did or their grandmothers why have they worshiped God as they now do because the word of God so teaches no but because their family has been so brought up they never took the trouble to see whether it was right and would not like to take the trouble now their family always did it therefore they will always do it such people can say I have walked according to my ancestors but they cannot say I
have walked in thy truth if their fathers had worshiped the devil they would have done the same if their family had worshiped Juggernaut they would have worshipped him too it makes no consequence to some people what it is they go in for follow my leader they are of one mind with the old Saxon King who when he was about to be baptized stood with one leg in the water and inquired of the bishop where do you say my ancestors are gone they knew nothing about your Christianity all cast into hell said the bishop well then
said this fine old conservative I will go with them I should not like to be parted from my kith and kin very much of this principle rules our country still the mass of men do not walk in God's truth nor care how to know what God's truth is I know they will say there are so many sects and so on as if there after all was such a difficulty about the word of God that a simple-minded man could not find out what the truth is the Bible is a plain enough book and if a man
wishes to understand it he can dear Brethren if you are Christians do be able to say I have desire to know the truth about thyself oh my God and how thou wouldst be worshiped and so far as I have learned I have walked in thy truth he means next that he had walked according to God 's law he believed God's law to be the essential right the just rule of action and he had tried to do right in all respects there is a line of Truth which you can clearly see which need not be laid
down in words and it is a glorious thing when a man can say I may not have been always prosperous in business I may not have succeeded as some have done but what does that matter I have kept a conscience void of offense as a Christ man I have done the right and left the consequences with God this is true evidence of Grace reigning in the heart when we can confidently say before God that not withstanding all our sins transgressions and infirmities yet towards men we have walked in the truth as God would have us
walk this is to have the outward life ordered in truth and did not he mean this also that as God had been truthful to him so he had been enabled by grace to be truthful to God I have walked in thy truth my God thou has never lied to me I have also striven to be true to thee I have found thy promise to be always certain I have labored to make my vows which I have presented to thee as certain as the Fulfillment of thy promises have you all done this years ago some of
you put on Christ and avowed yourselves his followers by your baptism you made a declaration of death to the world and of Life In Christ has it been so have you walked in God's truth he has never failed in anything towards us alas what is there in which we have not failed towards him he has been true to us in the Covenant of his grace have we kept the pledge and bonds which bind to his church and to his cause can we say as thou Hast walked in thy truth to me so have I walked
in truth to thee if we have failed here I should not wonder it is because we have failed in the first part of the text our thoughts have not been enough with God and therefore our lives have not been true to him may we be helped in both parts of the text so that while our hearts feed upon his truth our feet may walk in his truth and we may be faithful Christians before the Lord Our God but time flies and I need space for the third head which is the link which binds the two
parts of the text together thy loving kindness is before mine eyes I have walked in thy truth the one has been the consequence of the other because I thought much of thy Love Therefore have I walked in thy truth our thoughts very greatly influence our actions it is questionable whether a man could long think on any subject without the course of his life being colored by it like certain silk worms which yield silk colored according to the food they have fed on so our life gradually takes the tinge and Hue of the thoughts to which
we most accustom ourselves we have had in our police courts of late frequent instances of this boys have been studying literature of the Jack Shepherd and Dick Turpin order and they have become thieves of necessity men who have been deeply read in French novels byonic poetry and German metaphysics have become dissolute and skeptical and none could wonder you cannot send the mind up the chimney and expect it to come down white whatever Road the thoughts Traverse all the faculties of manhood will go after them so you see Brethren David had thought upon God's loving kindness
and very soon his whole Spirit went after his thoughts and he walked in God's truth let me show you a little of this I will suppose this morning that you and I are meditating upon the subject suggested let us set God's loving kindness before our eyes and one of its most striking points is its eternal eternity it is certain that God loved Those whom he now loves Before Time began those who are the faved sons of God have not lately come into the possession of his love they were loved of him before the foundation stone
of creation was laid it is a glorious Doctrine there is room for the soul to Revel and Riot with holy Delight in it Everlasting Love Love Without beginning towards unworthy worms well now what comes of it why naturally the moment the heart gets into the enjoyment of it it cries I will walk in God's truth this great Doctrine leads me to receive other great doctrines I'm Not Afraid now of doctrinal knowledge if it be so that God has loved me before the world began and has blessed me with all spiritual blessings according as he chose
me in Christ Jesus then I'm not afraid to consider the doctrine of the Covenant of Grace the doctrine of his forn knowledge and of his predestination and all the other doctrines that spring there from the brightness of this one gem has attracted me to enter into the minds of divine thought and I will seek henceforth to be conversant with the Deep things of God many would be much more sound in Doctrine if they meditated more upon the eternity of divine loving kindness now turn that loving kindness round again get another view of it let another
ray of light flash from this diamond think of the freeness of it God's loving kindness to us was utterly undeserved he loved us not because there was anything lovable about us but because he chose to do so he is an absolute Sovereign And he doeth as he Wills with his own it is because he will have mercy on whom he will have mercy that he has had mercy upon us unworthy did I say more unworthy was I than any least likely as it seemed of any of the sons of men to be a partaker of
divine love if he so freely loved me what shall I say I must freely love him in return I cannot but reciprocate this love if I cannot love him as he loves me in degree yet will I at any rate love him as freely and willingly has he chosen me I choose him has he ordained me that I should be saved my heart ordains that he shall be glorious and if there be anything that I can do to serve him let me know what it is for it must be it shall be done turn that
loving kindness round again look at another side of it namely it certainty it is no fiction that God loves his people if you are believers in Christ Jesus trusting alone to his merits God as surely loves you as he is God there is no question about the matter his Divine love is as certainly yours as his power is displayed in creation well then let your obedience be real in return if he really loves me then will I really love him and truly serve him it shall not be talk and resolution and pretense there shall be
that gift given even if I deny myself to give it there shall be that deed done whatever self-denial it may cost me the cross I will take up the singularity of being a Christian I will dare to encounter the persecution it will bring I will rejoice in the love of God to me shall produce obedience in my heart in return then again take another view of it set the loving kindness of God before your eyes and think of the faithfulness of it God's loving kindness never pauses a minute it has been as constant as the
flight of time never a moment but there has been love for that moment never an hour but there has been the hours portion of loving kindness you have often forgotten the Lord but he has never forgotten you you have turned aside from your Fidelity 10,000 times but he never once if he had dealt with you justly and not graciously he had long ago divorced you from his heart but you are as dear to him now as ever and you shall be dear to him when Heaven and Earth shall pass away well what then why then
as constantly seek to serve him let every day have its Duty and let each day's Duty be your pleasure and privilege do not be receiving without also giving out but as the Sovereign goodness of God comes to you without a pause and there are no miscarriages in divine grace so let there never be any forgetfulness negligence or delay in your gratitude and The Obedience which Springs of it I would like you to think of the minuteness of God's loving kindness and how it goes into detail with us in Little Things much of our life's happiness
depends upon little things happening rightly and if God ordained only the great events and left the little things to chance we should be very unhappy but the loving kindness of God while it g guilds the whole landscape with the sunlight also has a beam for the tiniest insect and a ray for the eye of the smallest bird let our love to God also go into the minutest details let us be Earnest to be right in matters essential but let us not be indifferent to things non-essential as men call them God's loving kindness goes into detail
so let my obedience do let gratitude to God permeate my entire life let it flood the whole of my faculties let it saturate my manhood through and through great God thy love surrounds me I breathe it I live upon it I shall die in it I shall live forever in it it shall make my eternal Bliss so would my soul in obedience give up herself her thoughts her Works her desires her judgment her tastes her everything to thy sweet love which is so wondrously embraced and encompassed me you see there is a logical consistency between
thinking of the love of God getting to see its details and attributes and The Ordering of our life in the way of Truth the one is the natural cause from which the other is sure to Spring once more let me say when we are thinking upon God's loving kindness we must not forget what it is preparing for us within a short time you and I shall have faced the last article of death or Christ himself shall have come and we shall be forever with the Lord we have been washed in the blood of Jesus our
souls have been renewed by the Holy Spirit and for us there is prepared and reserved a crown of life that fadeth not away way anticipate the triumphant hour when this head which often aches with weariness shall be encircled with the Crown of Glory think of the time when the hands that are worn with toil shall grasp the palm branch and the feet that are weary with this pilgrimage shall stand upon the sea of glass when our constant occupation shall be to glorify him who has uplifted us from the mey clay and set our feet upon
a rock and established our goings forever all this loving kindness is prepared for us entailed Upon Us ordained for us and we are ordained to it by a decree which neither death nor Hell can change what then why then the trials of this life shall be treated as light afflictions which are but for a moment and if duty at any time involves these trials we will not take them into consideration but for the joy that is set before us will endure the cross despising the shame men of God God's loving kindness has prepared for you
this Heritage inconceivable which heart cannot imagine and therefore tongue cannot express to you will you not for the sake of this be willing to be despised and be ready if need be to be spit upon and rejected from the Society of men why this methinks it was that glistened in the martyr's eye there they stood at the stake all calm and confident though every bone was soon to be burned to Cinder and the whole frame of their bodies to become a mass of Agony the light that Shone in the martyr's eye was not the flame
of the torch which kindled the but the light of the Everlasting Glory the joy that made glad their hearts was not that of obstinacy which holdeth fast to its own way but it was the firmness of a soul that is one with the immortal Christ and anticipates being with God forever and ever the loving kindness of God before our eyes is that which can make us walk in God's truth though it be to prison and to death God grant us more of the Holy contemplation and we shall be quite certain to have more of holy
consistent walking in the truth I have done when I have made two or three remarks I have set these things before you as they ought to be but things are not in this world as they should be there are some men who have the first part of the text at least they say they have but they despise the second they have set God's loving kindness before their eyes but do not walk in God's truth they talk about being God's elect God's beloved God's dear people alas some of them are dear at any price their lives
being in many cases utterly inconsistent with their profession what do we say of men who make the doctrines of Grace an excuse for lenti justness they have the doctrine of grace but not the grace of Doctrine what say we of them why what Paul said their damnation is just all their pretenses to soundness all their talk about Orthodoxy is so much wind nothing more without Holiness no man shall see the Lord the man who can cheat in business the man who can lie the man who is an unkind husband husband a bad father an Unholy
man he may believe what he likes or disbelieve what he likes but he will be swept away from the presence of God and the glory of his power when he whose fan is in his hand shall Purge his flaw and gather the wheat into his Garner and burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire there are also men who say I have walked in God's truth but God's loving kindness is never before their eyes they boast about their admirable character but they never think upon the grace of God they indulge the Pharisee Spirit permit us to
say to such that they know not what Spirit they are of that life of theirs which they think to be so blameless seems to be correct because they are blind if the light sha in upon their actions they would discover their imperfections then would they find that they needed a Savior and finding that they needed a savior they might then be led to apply for one and find one but as long as they wrap themselves up in the notion that they are good and that they keep the law and have done so from their youth
up we must remind them with all earnestness that they are shutting themselves out of Heaven they are denying to themselves all Prospect of everlasting life for by The Works of the law there shall no flesh be justified we must be saved by grace and by grace alone my last word is this Brethren depend upon it that you shall find each of you when you get dull and flagging in the Practical part of your faith that the proper way to revive it is to think more than you have done upon the loving kindness of God I
do not know whether you ever feel stupid I do dreadfully when one gets a bad cold the Mind feels ter terribly dead and dull some people are dull enough even when they are well but what they are when illness is added it were hard to say well then one says how can I consider myself to be a child of God why I cannot pray I kneel down and pour out what ought to be my desires but I'm afraid I do not desire them I read the Bible but it does not glow and glisten before my
eyes as it once did I try to love God but do not seem to have any emotion left I'm like a dead log or stone what is the best way to Quicken oneself when you have got to be just a mere inanimate mass and cannot awaken yourself into life of course the holy spirit is the quickener but what means shall we use why says one turn over your sins and begin to think of them well I have known some become more dead than they were were before through that and the little life they had seemed
to go out of them as they saw their transgressions I believe there is no reflection that has so much under God the Holy Spirit of quickening power in it as a remembrance of the loving kindness of the Lord I have said unto my soul Thou Art dull and heavy today my soul but Jesus did not love thee because of thy brightness and liveliness thou at any rate a desire not to be so dull who gave thee that was not it his own Grace that made thee hate thyself for being so dull and stupid and he
loves thee just the same why then orever I am aware my soul makes me like the Chariots of a minib before I have hardly got through a little meditation upon my Lord's love my love is kindled Dr Watts hit the mark when he said said Come Holy Spirit Heavenly dove with all thy quickening Powers come shed abroad a savior's love and that shall Kindle ours if you doubt Christ's love to you you will not love him but remember that he still loves you believe it hold on to it and your love will revive and when
thine eye of faith is dim still hold on Jesus sink or swim still at his foot stol bow the knee and Israel's God thy help shall be if I am a dead soul and a lost soul and have not a grain of Grace and have everything that is bad about me still I will cling to the cross and say I will never depart from this place if I perish I will perish here light will come unto you again again and the joy of the Lord will return and your heart will wer to find its own
hardness depart and your dumb tongue shall sing and you though once so lame shall leap as a heart God the Holy Ghost cause these meditations to be the means of quickening our Spirits for Christ's sake amen