How to Never Run Out of Things to Say

we've all been there you meet someone new or someone you kind of know you start with the usual hi hello followed by goto questions like what do you do which team do you work in and after a bit of back and forth awkward silence I've been here many times not just at work but at a variety of different social settings like meeting a far cousin at a wedding who haven't s in years or speaking to a random stranger at a bar but what if you could speak to anyone and never run out of things to

say the problem is we all have some level of social anxiety which plays a role in our awkwardness but we're at different levels and I personally graduated to the more advanced levels without any cheat codes so over time I developed my own three methods to speak to anyone and never be awkward again well at least most of the time initially I blame myself for being too shy not confident and just a little bit socially nepped But like everyone else I was the exact opposite around people who I was comfortable with so I asked myself what

really is going on how can one person have such opposite personalities what I realized was that even though I'm an introvert I don't have two personalities and it wasn't even a confidence problem it was a skill problem I simply hadn't mastered the art of small talk and just like any other art form like learning a new instrument or writing poetry speaking to people is a skill which can be developed with enough practice so through years of trial and error and by observing people better than me I quickly understood there are only three things you need

to do to speak to anyone fluently and never run out of things to say and the best part is you can Implement these three things almost immediately what would you do if someone said the following I went going to play golf over the weekend you can either say oh that's interesting and then stare into space whilst listening to The Sound of Silence or you can ask intentional follow-up questions for example where do you usually play how long have you been playing golf for this will then naturally lead to further follow-up questions like do you play

competitively are you part of a club now you probably couldn't care less about golf but firstly this shows that you're genuinely interested in what the other person has to say or at least that's the perception you're creating and secondly this removes any awkward pauses and silences and it also gives you the power to control the conversation and take it into any direction because when you really think about it a conversation is simply a series of questions and answers and the person who asks most of the questions is usually the one in control but for this

it's important you're asking the right questions and this is where the second method comes in now the common misconception is that to become better at speaking you need to speak more but like great paradoxes in life to improve your communication you need to do the exact opposite and actually listen more that means to actively listen and do nothing else apart from listening because it's easy for our minds to wonder and start preparing for our response rather than actually listening to what's been said leading you to say something which is completely irrelevant and off topic adding

further to your collection of awkward moments but if you listen intently you can ask the right questions and create a free flowing and more interesting conversation for everyone involved as the famous quote goes most people don't listen with the intent to understand they listen with the intent to reply don't be that person there are enough for those already the cherry on the cake is when you find a common ground we instantly click with people who have similar backgrounds or interests as us sometimes this is really obvious like you both like golf other times it might

be more difficult but even then with enough probing and by asking the right questions there will be something you both have in common and once you find that thing move the conversation in that direction and it will start flowing itself the truth is there will be times where the conversation goes nowhere and there will be moments in your life where there will be awkward silences and if that does happen just learn to be comfortable with the silence at the end of the day it's just silence and it will eventually pass but by following these three

methods more often than not you'll be able to speak to anyone and never run out of things to say [Music]