How To Survive A Breakup (UNFILTERED)

and I just went through this door dark like three four five month phase where I was using a lot of drugs I was like just my my reality had shattered so Lily's in German and I share a lot of very intimate things that you guys here on this channel you know about my tumultuous childhood you know my friends are you know all about my team all the way down to things that I probably shouldn't be sharing considering I have an advertising agency and we work with a very cool understanding clients but in the past some clients where you know the investors of these companies if they looked at some of my videos they'd be like yet this guy and his agency yeah he's not running our ads things such as my experimentation with drugs psychedelics things like you know even ayahuasca video I made to three months ago at this point I basically decided to throw a privacy out of the window a few years ago the one thing I like to maintain private in my life as much as possible is my romantic life that's why I've never made this video but it is probably single handedly the most requested video that I haven't made thus far and yeah I had absolutely zero intention of making a video on this but I got a message the other day and I'll pop it on the screen at all you know I'll blow out any sensitive information and it honestly just like broke my heart and every single time I'm talking like once or twice a day I will have someone reached out and asked me for breakup advice how do you get past the breakup how do you overcome it how do you survive it and guys I just don't really have time to respond to messages and usually what I don't have time to respond to a very commonly asked question I'll make a video about it but as I said there's not much of my life but there's some stuff that I would just prefer to keep private yeah I saw this message and every single time I see that message and it brings me back to by far the darkest point of my life when I was trying to survive my first ever breakup and considering that at the time of recording this I think well four or five weeks ago I actually just went through another breakup so I thought I made this video for you guys and I've been through a lot of very hard things in my life I don't anyone my age who's had their face just smashed into the dirt as much as I have from just the tortures of my early youth which I share maybe 10% of you guys with I mean even like some of my closest friends like I just that's a time in my life that I guess I in my mind I just I know I guess I uh I almost erased it from my mind from that to the crippling responsibility at the age of 15 16 of having to take care of my mother things like last year being 19 years old and knowing that 750 children wake up and get to go to school based on the work that I put in and having that granted self-imposed pressure of knowing that last year I built two schools in Nepal I don't think I could look myself in the mirror if I don't build at least three schools there this year to having people I consider [ __ ] family of blackmail me and an almost extort me like I've had some crazy [ __ ] happen in my life and at the age of 20 I have literally lived three lives at my age and of everything I've been through waking up having that burden on my shoulders knowing that my employees mortgages depend on my work knowing that the kids in Nepal depend on me knowing that my mom depends on all this [ __ ] the break-up I went through and I was succeed was by far the hardest thing and I think that really goes to show that look like breakups are tough breakups can be I mean just just crippling and this is why I wanted to make this video for anyone going through the pain of a breakup I've been through kind of three breakups two with the same person both relationships around two years long and I'm making this video for anyone who is like me at the age of 16 who genuinely felt as though their world was about to fall apart who felt disillusioned who just felt so lost and unsafe and I'll explain a lot of what goes into that when you're going through a breakup a little bit later in this video but first time for a quick coffee break now there's a few things I want to discuss and as that is coming from firsthand experience going through a few breakups and these are concepts that always help me get through it and only get through it but come out a better person on the other side the first thing you need to understand is you either get bitter or you can get better now I genuinely don't think you understand that this is such an important concept because so many people after they go through a breakup will either find things to numb themselves and will find ways to escape their feelings and their problems and they'll run away from this period of growth and I know that if you're anything like me at the age of 16 when I was like literatures go through a living hell you're like yeah cool okay like I get it I can grow from this period but you you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and by the way the reason I keep mentioning my breakup when I was 16 is because like the first breakup is always by far going to be the hardest and I just think as you get older you get a little bit wiser and you grow as a person and you can kind of you have that foresight to understand where your life is headed so that's not to disqualify any other breakups that I've been through or any other breakups that you've been through but I said just for me and just kind of what I've noticed with other people that that first breakup man it's it's tough so look if you go about this breakup right and you implement the things that tell you in this video like this will be by far the biggest period of growth in your life full stop I don't think there's anything that shakes you to your core and holds up a mirror of where you are in life from the person who you are more than a breakup look I think probably the best way to go about this is to tell you a little bit about my personal experiences with breakups so my first breakup she went back to America so we kind of knew five six months prior to the end of the relationship that it was going to be coming to an end and the thing that hit me so hard about that breakup is as many you guys know like I just have me and my mom and my childhood definitely was an easy I remember I would spend birthdays that her family and it was nuts because it was the only I think her house was almost like the only place on earth where I felt safe or I felt like that that burden was off of my shoulders and I was like wow this is like a real family like you know the first ever girlfriend I had like she just had this incredible family like the most amazing people I've ever met my entire life and I and I didn't have that in my life like I remember for the first year of our relationship like for an entire year I would not let my ex-girlfriend into my house because I was too embarrassed in my house I lived in a nice area but like we had no from water we had no heating the walls were literally caving in it was I just had a very bizarre childhood in a lot of ways so I was literally too embarrassed in my house to even let my ex-girlfriend in for the first year so for the first year we literally only hung out at hers so when that relationship ended it was not only the relationship it was self it was it was like I had broken up with her and broken up with her family and I had like I just felt and I was in London alone with no family no money no one to look to or no sense of safety or like nowhere that I could turn to to get that feeling of safety and this and that and man that was hard for me and you know for the first two months or so like I can just tell you so many different stories of just like the pain and anguish I felt but somewhere around two and a half months in I kind of started mixing with the wrong crowd and I started at the age of 16 I was clubbing literally like two or three times a week and keep mine I had no money so like I was making you know a decent amount from a couple clients I had started my agency technically but I wasn't starting to work with any big clients at that point it was mainly that one client I had and just some one-off jobs and most of my money would then go to paying cover charge at the door you know using my fake ID and a lot of the time it would end up at 4:00 or 5:00 a. m. after parties where those a lot of drugs involved and I just went through this dark dark like three four five month phase where I was using a lot of drugs I was like just my my reality had shattered and the weird thing is you know in the weekdays I was still reading a book or he was still functioning I was going to school I was I wasn't a I hadn't totally [ __ ] up my life but it was nothing that path and some of you guys know that I actually got this tattoo my cup runneth over when I was 16 and basically the story behind that was I was coming towards the tail end just this crazy period in my life of like drugs and like darkness and like and I had to remind myself to stay in an abundant mindset so my cup runneth over was a reminder to me and I mean you guys know how much I love my mom you guys know that my mom is my best friend I've got a law firm my mom but it doesn't even come close to what she sacrificed she sacrificed her views her health her sanity like I can't even begin to tell you something went through and some of the [ __ ] I saw and some of the shit's like trust me like I don't really know my opinion on God and this and that but like I I thank someone I thank some higher power that she is happy healthy and alive every single [ __ ] day cuz if I was her I don't know how she would still be a functioning human at this point binary is the reason that I say that is because my mom's sort of slogan when she kind of growing up and c'mon she was came from a family of seven from the Soviet Union and considering some of the [ __ ] that we went through growing up her you know she would always told me man take as much as you can because you never know when you're gonna get any more and is this a scarcity mindset so I got this tattooed on me it's because I was at such a dark place in my life and I needed some light I needed some way to get out of it and all of this was sparked and fueled by this first breakup that I went through anyways I remember like that that final this flippin point for me was it was New Year's Day of 2017 and I had gone out the night prior and I remember I just got super like like obnoxiously drunk and I come home and I come downstairs and I say good morning to my mom and my moms like first of all it's not morning it's afternoon it was like 2:00 3:00 p.

m. and she was like where were you last night especially if you come from a family of just having like a single mother like you don't know pain until you look in your mother's eyes and you see wholehearted disappointment and I had never seen a wholehearted discipline in her entire life and it's almost like comical now that I say like and as I said that I turned back and I puked in the kitchen sink and at that point I literally had to look myself in the mirror I'm like what the [ __ ] are you doing so the reason that I tell you all of this is because that breakup was the instigator for me going through probably the darkest period in my life where like I genuinely I had nothing to grasp onto like I had I knew that I was going to achieve great things in my life but I had it had a manifest yeah and I had no safety in my life I had no security in my life I had I just felt very alone and to give you guys kind of the light at the end of tunnel I remember it's just [ __ ] surreal this is 18 months on earth technically 21 months on so this is probably just around like - like just over two years from my my breakup I'm flying to New York because there was a company called motivate design I did a two day training with them and I'm an eighteen year old getting paid twenty thousand dollars for two days of my time flying to New York on these amazing business class beds and that was all new to me at that point and I'm in New York and I'm actually in New York with my new girlfriend so I was in New York for business and I end up actually arranging to meet my ex and her family at their place so you need to understand for me it was like that moment of like a triumph because in the space of two years I went from kind of a nobody to eighteen years old at that point that was my first $200,000 a month I'm going to New York you know making 200 grand a month like being flown in as this expert as this consultant to help with a Multi multi seven-figure your business with twenty five thirty employees I'm coming there at that point I just started building my watch collection I've got Rolex elvirus about a cup of Cartier bangles and I'm 18 years old and I'm flying there with my new beautiful 21 year old girlfriend you know this new love of my life this incredible girl so smart so charismatic so caring so loyal like just just this incredible incredible woman and as I said for me it's like this triumphant moment because I go to see your family and in my mind I'm like you have no idea that two years of a hell that I've been through and another lesson that I learned and you know you just learned so many lessons along the way in life is like I learned the lesson because I went there and in my head I'm like okay I'm obviously I'm not gonna make a big scene or like I'm not gonna like reveal too much but they're gonna be able to tell like I've done well for myself and you can just tell people you know they were actually asking about the businesses and stuff like that yeah I told him I had flown in to see a client and that I had an advertising agency and a training business and I used to call my education company a training business because we trained agency owners and I remember her parents genuinely thought that I was still a personal trainer because when I was 15 I used to PT my friend's parents so at that moment I learned two lessons which is one you can get bitter or you can get better and number two go out get better but also realize that like no one really cares and then if you're gonna achieve something in life always to achieve it for yourself which is what I did but you know I guess it was still that almost hero story of like oh they're gonna see and they're gonna be a bread baby oh [ __ ] so that's point number one which is ladies and gentlemen if you are a boy or girl and you were going through the pain of a breakup and you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel I understand I was there I went to places that I would hope no one goes through in their life and I came out better on the other side and the reason that every single one of my breakups I feel at least personally that I have gotten better in a grown is because rather than most people which is they run away from the pain they try to distract themselves from a pain which is in all of us what I tried to do for a long time I should have to know myself from the pain by going out and doing drugs and getting [ __ ] up with the wrong crowd rather than doing that run towards the pain and that I feel as though if you go through that really harsh breakup you learn that with your kind of next few breakups is like rather than from once and once trying to draw out the pain and like trying to numb it but it's always gonna pop back up just experience the pain like actually feel it actually go through it and then you're gonna come out the other side a lot quicker than if you just ran away from it so ladies and gentlemen please you can get bitter you can get better but the way that you get better is you run towards the pain and I know it's scary but please the next thing that I need you to understand is that 80% of your experience with that other person was down to you that's vice-versa 80% of that person's experience of the relationship was down to them okay so it's not like a one-sided thing and what I mean by that is there's things like you know right girl wrong time and I feel so that's a very true sentence but most people look at it like oh you know I had this girl at the wrong time in my life in terms of like age or this or that and I definitely know what that's like but also from a perspective of your emotional immaturity you see you need to understand that you might have a past ex you might have just broken up with someone and you think that you had such a beautiful relationship with them and you think that you could not have a relationship than the one that you had with them because there this is you know named character traits or they're extremely good-looking and they're extremely smart and they're drooling you might package together these different characteristics but well you need to understand is that in two two years you might have someone that technically on paper isn't as good as that person you might have a relationship that is four or five times as good because you're at a point in your life where you can receive that love where you can receive where you know how to reciprocate that energy flow that happens in a relationship like I know this better than anyone else like my last relationship like I was in a relationship with a girl that was quite frankly an angel in every single regard I could not have more respect for that girl and just more admiration and to be honest like I've had two relationships like both girls I have so much respect and admiration for and to their facing behind their back I can't stop saying good things about them but but definitely especially my last relationship I realize like I I was not putting my life where I could reciprocate that sort of love and care and attention like your partner might be giving you everything you need to feel solid and stable and amazing and relationship and you might not be at a place in life where you know how to accept that in my first relationship I was definitely at a point in my life where I knew how to but I had forgotten things that also on extremely hardened by a lot of [ __ ] and a lot of pressure in my life as I said I've gone through more pressure in my life at the age of 17 18 19 20 that then people will probably ever go through in their entire lives and to be honest my team my friends my loved ones they all echoed the same thing to me which is like a man considering your childhood which by the way we also know that you only speak 20% of as well as some of the stuff behind the scenes that you don't know about just some very [ __ ] up things that happened to me is even in the past few years and just all the pressure you have you age we are surprised that you have not had a mental breakdown you've not gone completely off the rails you're still a semi-functioning human being so the reason I say that to you is because you might think that in your last relationship you loved but you might not truly know what like full unconditional love is like like as I said I know even in my last relationship like I didn't go to the depths that I went to in my first relationship and that had nothing to do with the other person like at all in the slightest it was all to do with me so my point is as you start to work on yourself and as you start to look at your internal frame as you start to look at your priorities in life etc etc that will have a direct correlation on your next relationship regardless of who the person is like I generally don't prescribe this whole like soulmate [ __ ] I think is the dumbest thing I've ever heard I also genuinely think that that person's experience of the relationship has eighty percent to do with where they are in life and their setpoint and your experience the relationship has 82 has eighty percent to do with your set point and where you are in life you know another one my tattoos says wherever you go there you are and has I said I know that at a further stage in my life I'm gonna experience a depth of love that like I have an experience ever in my life because I will be at a point that I'm ready for it I know definitely at this stage of my life I am NOT ready for it I am NOT emotionally mature enough for it I've experienced it in the past I've definitely experienced in the recent present but nowhere near the depths that it could get to and as I said that has everything to do with me nothing to do with any other people that I've ever been involved with so please understand that as you work on your internal world through your internal ecosystem that manifests itself in the outer world the last sort of macro thing and then I'm also gonna get into sort of like two practical things that I really want you guys to implement if you're going through a breakup is you need to keep an abundant mindset okay as I said I don't prescribe this whole like I have ones like how depressing would it be if you only had one soul mate in life like I just genuinely do not agree with that in the slightest I think it's the dumbest [ __ ] ever you know you got to think about like just how many people there are on the earth like I can only speak for me personally but like there are like 3. 5 billion women I get that most of them are outside kind of the ages that I would date but nonetheless if you take the top 1% of that that's 35 million if you take the top 0.

01% of that that's 3. 5 million if you take the top 0. 001 percent of that that's 350,000 if you take the top 0.

00 zero 1% the most intriguing the most beautiful the most interesting the most the ones were the best character and morals and ethics but you're still talking about 35,000 women do you really think you could date 35,000 women so look I've even said this in a relationship before like like I know that if you look at any relationship both people there are thousands of other people like I know that for my exes there were thousands and tens of thousands and I mean probably if you ask them would you point probably 3.