How to actually make people like you.

how to actually make people like you a lot of people watching this video probably believe that there is nothing we can actively do to make others like us they think that we are who we are and if others like us then good if they don't then there's nothing we can do about it this is a common mistake that a lot of people make the interesting part and what I will prove in this video is that we can make anyone literally anyone like us just by following a few simple principles what I'm going to go over

in this film is not something common that we learn about this isn't something that is taught in school so chances are that you're going to learn a lot of new things in this video the five principles I will share in this video turned me from a shy low confident teenager into a confident guy that actively makes new friends these five principles come from the Fantastic book how to INF friends an influence people written by Dale Carnegie the principles I'll share will help you know what to say when meeting new new people and it will serve

as a foundation of tools that you can use to make others like you while I go over these principles try visualizing how you can apply these principles in your own life whether that's in school at work or with friends or at home with your family it'll help you better learn the following principles principle one encourage other people to talk about themselves for those of you who don't know I'm currently in the Swedish army and a few months ago we got the tasks to be royal guards for the King's Castle my task was to guard the

big entrance to the castle it was around 1:00 a.m. and I was standing there incredibly bored then all of a sudden I hear the doors from The Castle open behind me an important guy in a uniform comes out and asks me if it's cold it's fine even though I thought it was pretty cold we start small talking a little bit and then I remember the principle from the book encourag other people to talk about themselves I picked up on the fact that he seemed pretty interested in history so I started asking him more about that

that kept him talking for 15 minutes until it was time for me to go off my post and go on a mandatory break the next day the same time he came back and encouraged him to continue talking about himself we are eternally interested in ourselves that's just how we are we love talking about ourselves and what we do so if we encourage others to talk about themselves they will love us because we will make them feel important and listen to so the next time you don't know what to say in a conversation remember principle one

encourage other people to talk about themselves the next principle will make anyone like you instantly this principle is to give sincere and honest compliments there was a study made years ago on runaway wives what do you think was discovered to be the main reason why wives ran away it was lack of appreciation we often forget to give other people words of appreciation because we're so busy thinking about ourselves but through giving someone an honest compliment we can make their whole day or week through just giving a sincere and honest compliment we want a feeling that

we are important in our little world we don't want to listen to Cheap insincere flattery but we do crave sincere appreciation so let's treat others how we would like others to treat us we love when people compliment us so let's make other people feel good through giving them sincere compliments how when where the answer is all the time everywhere so let's try this I want to try to create a positive butterfly effect using this principle let's say 100,000 people watch this video and everyone gives someone they like a sincere compliment today we will together have

made over 100,000 people happy through giving them a sinc sin compliment we'll do it together after I've recorded this video I will give someone I know a sincere compliment and after you've watched this video you'll do the same thing principle three the best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely nine times out of 10 an argument ends with both parts being more convinced that they were absolutely right we can't win an argument because if we lose it we lose it and if we win it we lose it why well let's say you

absolutely run over the other person in an argument and prove that he is wrong wrong then what we will feel fine but what about the other person we have made him feel inferior we have hurt his pride and as a result made him feel stupid that being said don't argue with people it just results in negative feelings for one another so the next time we feel like an argument is about to start turn it down completely through being objective and look for things that you can agree upon instead of focusing on winning because remember that

you can never win an argument that was principle three the best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely we've gone over three principles on how to make People Like Us encourage other people to talk about themselves give sincere and honest appreciation and the best way to win an argument is to avoid it completely there are still two more really important principles that we still haven't talked about the fourth one is try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view we have to remember that sometimes other people may be totally

wrong but they won't think that they are don't criticize them because that's just what everybody would do if you want to be wise and smart about it try to understand them there is a reason why the other person person thinks and acts the way he does try honestly to put yourself in his place if we say to ourselves how would I feel how would I react if I were in his shoes we will save ourselves a lot of time and irritation through putting ourselves in the other person's shoes that was the fourth principle try honestly

to see things from the other person's point of view the last principle maybe the most important and simple one is smile action speaks louder than words and a smile says I like you you make me happy I'm glad to see you and that's why dogs are so popular they are always glad to see us so naturally right we're glad to see them and a baby smile has exactly the same effect the effect of a smile is super powerful but what if we don't feel like smiling then what first force yourself to smile if you're alone

force yourself to whistle or sing act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make us more happy everybody in the world is seeking happiness and there's only one sure way to find it and that is by controlling our thoughts because happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions it depends on inner conditions and by smiling at the next person you interact with you will see how much effect a single smile can have on another person's feelings we've now gone over five principles that we can use to make other people like us the more

we use them the more people will like us and the more we will remember to use them ourselves remember what we talked about before let's create this positive wave of making hundreds of thousands of our friends and family happy through giving one person we know a sincere compliment let's both go and do this now that's all I have to say in this video I'm out