Wife Wanted To Open Up Marriage To Explore; I Came To Know That It Was Because of Her New Boss…

I never imagined that I would find myself in this situation asking strangers for advice on the internet but here I am we were each other's first and first loves when we met in college and we have been together for 10 years but have only been married for eight I honestly thought we had a unique and beautiful relationship because of that but it appears that was just me some time ago my wife began working at new company At first she found it difficult to fit in because she's always been reserved but after encouragement from me she

made friends with a group of girls some of whom were single divorced or dating but non-married at first I was happy that she made friends but then she started going out for drinks partying or something other thing her friends had planned I became concerned by her change in behavior and tried to talk to her about it but at the same time didn't want to restrict her in any way it started to affect our relationship in the bedroom my wife wasn't one to initiate intimacy but with her continued going out she was either too tired or

wasn't in the mood at some point her company got a new manager whom my wife and her friends had taken a shining to she began mentioning him in passing but it got a point where pointing how he handled certain problems that didn't seem to be work rated I questioned her on her festination with this man and she brushed off my concerns she even started asking if I regretted not having more experience with women to which I said no because she is all I ever needed I swore I thought for a moment I saw a flash

of sadness in her eyes but she quickly changed the subject she started mentioning open marriages as a way to spice up our marriage I was taken back because my wife was never this kind of person and not that liberal sexually to be honest I at first refused and questioned if this had anything to do with the new manager to which she denied but said she felt like missed out but at the same time didn't want to lose me so this was a safer option I warned her that she was playing with fire then reluctantly and

naively agreed we established several ground rules the primary one being that no one should overnight in our house as a result my wife went on dates and had one night stands for a year before and I somehow failed to notice that she was seeing that manager in contrast I went on a few dates but avoided one night stands since they seemed weird to me my wife would check in with me to see how I was doing but she didn't really alter her behavior at some point I felt the love I had for her that pure

special innocence of marriage was gone and it was killing me inside I ended up going on a date with an amazing woman who migrated over from South Korea conversation was effortless she had wit of a lightning fast WIP crack and a smile that had one forget himself this of course led to more dates until we were intimate I honestly never had sex like I had with this woman I never knew a woman could be so giving and make one feel so desirable at first my wife thought it was cute but as the months went by

she began questioning my relationship with my lover I promptly pointed out that this was her idea and even she was in a relationship with her manager I was concerned about she was silent looked she wanted to say something but held her tongue She began coming home early to surprise me with dinner and get the house extra clean she so started coming to my workplace to drop off lunch and began to initiate Intimacy in the bedroom honestly if it wasn't for her opening up our marriage which I am also to blame for agreeing all this would

have had me jumping for joy when I did give in to her attempts at intimacy it was just to end the situation my wife and I both seemed to be experiencing a death in our relationship when I asked her what had changed or what had caused her to change she told me that she wanted to express to me how much she loved and was content with me I didn't mean to chuckle but I couldn't help but ask about her little circle of Pals her manager's Bo boyfriend and her one night stands that day she stayed

silent and went to bed sobbing she's waiting for me when I arrive home the following day she told me she wants to close the marriage that this whole experience was a horrible mistake that regrets everything and wants us to be focus on our relationship again I told her to be honest with me and tell me what inspired all this in the first place and wouldn't you know it it was her group of friends that planted the idea because of their numerous sexual exploits and when her manager came around he surprisingly supported that lifestyle and encouraged

my wife to live free apparently it developed into an emotional affair but only got physical once the marriage opened wow like that makes it better she described it as being drunk behind the wheel of a speeding car it was thrilling and intoxicating but the price of this decision has become too much for her to Bear she sees now that she never needed a comparison that what we had was truly unique and special but now she feels like she murdered our marriage and any chance of a life together I told her I might not ever be

able to see her as my wife again and this made her break down in front of me I simply held her in silence as she cried until she fell asleep in my arms on the couch she has since left her job and cut off contact with all her friends and her manager and even told me she's willing to spend the rest of her life making it up to me and work her fingers to the Bone to be seen as a wife by me but I haven't cut contact with my lover my lover quite frankly makes

me feel like a man like I can challenge the world and my wife hasn't in a while truth is I don't know what to do in this situation I would love to get the special feeling back if possible but my lover basically saved me when I was at my lowest forgot to add we have our first marriage counseling session in a couple of hours not sure how that will go the therapist seemed nice and experienced she appeared unbiased and actually eager to help even even though it was our very first session my wife took it

as an opportunity to lay it all out it seems she confessed that this group of friends made her wonder if she had missed her chance because she was committed to her first boyfriend and had no other experiences that she never had the same Adventures some of these supposedly amazing women had remember some of whom are divorced but none are married the therapist pointed out that this can be and often is detrimental to a marriage due to the difference in mind set my wife seemed to agreed then added that after the new manager started approaching her

some of these friends encouraged her to see where it goes that this was a chance for her to explore or discover herself she obviously felt guilty so she says so she never did anything physical until one of the divorced ones suggested an open marriage as a loophole and told her that some couples come out stronger because of it so after regrettably again so she says convincing me to open up the marriage her so called Adventure began it was intoxicating and blinding but lacked real substance not like the kind we built over the years and she

started to question her reasons for doing this she said she could see the hurt in my eyes but told herself this was an adventure she said she'll never forgive herself for this she chanced to have an amazing experience so the gravity of it all never it until she noticed a change in Me At first she assumed because I went on dates I would gradually accept her situation and be okay with it but that all changed when my lover became a constant appearance in my adventure apparently I started to smile again for no reason and my

eyes would light up when I would get a text message or when I cheerfully left the room to answer a call she said she suddenly felt a pit in her stomach and started to get manyi panic attacks for no reason she went to her friends for advice again but they said it was a normal reaction for me to have during the adventure but when the same divorced one who suggested this in the first place said is looks like his lover makes him happy is when the reality of it all finally dawned on her and the

very real possibility that another woman and not his wife gave him Joy almost made her pass out she realized how ridiculous this all was and begged them to help her win me back but they just told her if she couldn't deal with it why did she open her marriage in the first place she knew then and there that these people were toxic and a threat to our marriage and the life we built hence she's been on a mission to win me back by any means necessary I on the other hand didn't share much but I

did let the counselor know about the situation on my side with my lover still in the picture to which the counselor said no resolution could ever be reached with my lover still in the picture and suggested we book another appointment after tomorrow the counselor did say it was unusual for someone to stay with there first this long and gave the impression that any storm can be weathered I highly suspect she wants us to be one of her success stories sorry that it's long but I figured I might as well give a full update once more

I appreciate your support everyone I've now moved into my brother's apartment so it's practically been an episode of Jerry Springer here's a brief summary of what I've learned about my wife's actions and some frightening facts concerning her management I posed some of the queries raised by some redditors during our second counseling session first if she was sure nothing physical happened before the opening of the marriage she looked towards the ground and begged me not to make her say it she said if she said it then it would destroy us but after some pushing she shared

that it wasn't physical but they touched themselves in front of each other this douchebag convinced her that since it wasn't physical sort of it wasn't technically cheating and that they were simply enjoying each other's full Beauty I was absolutely floored by this and she started shaking and hyperventilating it's not even began flowing from her nostrils as she cried and apologized to me at this point even the counselor was taken aback and had a look dis belief my wife got on her knees and hugged my legs saying how sorry she was second I then asked her

what really changed her view of him she said after she started pulling back from the group as a whole his behavior towards her changed then one evening as she was leaving a meeting she passed his office and heard him speaking about her to another male colleague he said he was surprised at how easy it was to get her and how she is living proof that you can't trust The Quiet Ones when the colleague asked if he actually fancied her his response was that she was a pleasant distraction and that he had absolutely no intention of

breaking up with his fiance he even added that this was simply to get it out of his system because the only woman who has ever understood him was his fiance and he didn't want to break up with her he also mentioned how he felt bad for me but you snooze you lose my wife upon realizing that she was nothing more than a piece of meat to this man added by the fact that she betrayed me for a cheap thrill actually made her suicidal in that moment she said she left her workplace and vomited in the

parking lot she also added that her first thoughts were what I have done and my name please forgive me I'm so sorry third I then asked her if she loved him and when it was that she stopped loving me she looked me dead in the eye through tears and said she never stopped loving me which honestly makes it worse and that he was just something different she thought it was love but now realizes how foolish that was she squeezed my arm with surprising strength and said she knows she messed up but she missed us and

the connection we had before all this she even suggested we move away and start aresh just the two of us just as it was meant to be I then told her it wouldn't be fair to my lover and that I need time away from her to process all of this it was like she had a meltdown at those words she started sobbing harder and saying incoherent things she help held on to me as if I was going to disappear took some time for both me and the counselor to calm her down the counselor managed to

convince her that maybe time apart could help us heal now I wish I could end the update with just this but as we got home I began to pack my wife got a video call from her laptop it was one of her former friends in tears it turns out that after my wife resigned this friend and the manager began a fling of their own but apparently she had a pregnancy scare which caused him to basically turn into Dr jackal to make matters worse she had a boyfriend whom she apparently could see a future with him

and the only reason why she even had a fling was because she was curious of the experience funny how that seems to be a trend her boyfriend found out because he discovered an email between the two discussing the potential pregnancy but the manager basically accused her of baby trapping him of course he left her and the reason why she made contact is because she was under the impression that my wife managed to save our marriage and was Desperately Seeking advice I just turned and left and have been staying in the apartment ever since once again

thank you all for your thoughts and helpful advice update first and foremost thank you to everyone who took the time to reach out and share either helpful advice your own similar life story or just offered an ear for me to rant it truly means a lot well quite a bit has happened the former friend who had the pregnancy scare was indeed pregnant but the stress of losing her boyfriend friend and being humiliated by the affair caused her to lose the baby she basically turned ballistic and went full scorched Earth on the manager she exposed him

to all upper management and his fiance I happened to find his fiance on Facebook was curious and this woman is basically the poster child of a pretty small town girl based on her profile she's a special needs teacher who is a home body and is very family orientated my very first thought was what the hell is he doing messing around with other women when he got her at home honestly why men like him end up with women like her is one of the greatest mysteries of Life the former friend actually got in contact with me

she wanted my side of the version of events because she was collecting evidence against him but she wanted to do it in person she already had her covid test and so did I and I agreed from the moment I saw her face I knew she was broken the dark circles under her eyes and her red colored iris clearly showed she didn't get any sleep and was haunted by her own thoughts she thanked me for agreeing to meet her and immediately apologized for her role in my wife's Adventure turns out her and my wife spoke again

and that's when she leared I had moved out she didn't blame shift and wanted to take responsibility hence why she wanted meet in person I thanked her for her efforts but asked her why would she go this far she said losing both a child and the love of her life changed who she was at the core she said she can hardly look in the the mirror without feeling disgusted and she can hardly sleep because at all she sees is her ex's face the day he found out this woman clearly hated herself and this meeting might

have been a form of punishment for her she tells me since fraternizing among co-workers is a breach of conduct and more so because he was in a position of influence he will most likely be fired and possibly blacklisted from that field as a whole but the same may be true for her as well and she has accepted it she left after getting my side of the story and apologized again I needed to get a few things from the old place so I picked a time when I thought my wife wasn't home unfortunately she was there

but what surprised me is that she had most of our wedding photos out on the coffee table as well as others and she was staring at them when she noticed me I could see she was crying she tried to hug me but I gently pushed her aside she tried to offer me lunch but I told her I wasn't hungry and that I wouldn't be long just needed a few things before I could proceed she said she had something to show me she pulled out her phone and showed me a message she received 2 days ago

from her former manager who berated her it was from a new number since she blocked his old one apparently my wife helped her former friend expose him to all relevant parties and he was fuming she said she got the idea from Chump Lady and marriage Builders she thought by exposing the secret she was removing its power as well as giving us a fighting chance I told her I was glad that she had the courage to do that but it doesn't change anything between us I also informed her that I will be stopping marriage counseling but

will do individual counseling Instead This made her SOB softly and she said she understood I know I am supposed to feel either Elation of the actions taken or rage because it took this long but I feel numb towards her this isn't normal hence why I want to address it in individual counseling and not marriage counseling I have also seen a divorc lawyer at my brother's recommendation just to be safe as of now I am not really willing to fight for this marriage and it seems my wife can sense it before I left she tried to

initiate intimacy but when I refused she yelled and asked what does my lover do for me that she can't what does she lover give me that she wife can't she in a voice so loud I am sure the neighbors heard it said that whatever it was I wanted she wife would do it I shook my head and informed her that after everything that had transpired it was obvious where our marriage was going if she was still unable to tell I want to thank each and every one of you again for your assistance and this is

where I am right now