Why Am I Even Alive? | Muniba Mazari Speech | Inspiring Women of Goalcast

I was 18 years old when I got married I belonged to a very conservative family a Balochi family we're good daughters never say no to their parents my father wanted me to get married and all I said was if that makes you happy I'll say yes and of course it was never a happy marriage just about after two years of getting married about nine years ago I made a car accident somehow my husband fell asleep and the car fell in the ditch he managed to jump out saved himself I'm happy for him but I stayed

inside the car and I sustained a lot of injuries list is a bit long Gradius a lot of my right arm were fractured the wrist was fractured shoulder bone and collarbone were fractured my whole ribcage got fractured but that injury that changed me and my life completely was the spine injury many people came to rescue they gave me CPR they dragged me out of the car and while they were dragging me out I got the complete transection of my spinal cord those two and a half months in the hospital were dreadful I was at the

words of despair one day doctor came to me and he said well I heard that you wanted to be an artist but you ended up being a housewife I have a bad news for you you won't be able to paint again next day doctor came to me and said your spine injury is so bad you won't be able to walk again I took a deep breath and I said it's alright next day doctor came to me and said because of your spine injury and the fixation that you have in your back you won't be able

to give birth to a child again that day I was devastated I started to question my existence why am I even alive so what kept me going was one day I asked my brother's I knew I have a deformed hand but I'm tired of looking at these white walls in the hospital and wearing these white scrubs bring me some colours bring me some small canvas I want to paint so the very first painting I made was on my deathbed where I painted for the very first time what an amazing therapy it was without uttering a

single word I could paint my heart out I could share my story people used to come and say what lovely painting so much colour nobody could see the grief in it only I could and that day I decided that I'm going to live life for myself I am NOT going to be that perfect person for someone I am just going to take this moment we'll make it perfect for myself but I'm going to fight my fears so I wrote down one by one all those fears and I decided that I'm going to overcome these fears

one at a time you know what was my biggest fear divorce but the day I decided that this is nothing but my fear i liberated myself by setting him free and I made myself emotionally so strong there the day I got the news that he is getting married I sent him a text that I'm so happy for you and I wish you all the best and he knows that I pray for him today number two was I won't be able to be a mother again and that was quite devastating for me but then I realized

there are so many children in the world all they want is acceptance so there is no point of crying just go and adopt one and that's what I did I gave my name in different organizations different orphanages and I waited patiently two years later I got this call from a very small city in Pakistan I got a call and they said are you Madiba Missouri there is a baby boy and would you like to adopt I could literally feel the labor pains yes yes I am going to adopt him I am coming to take him

and that day that was two years or two days old and today he's six you know when you end up being on the wheelchair what's the most painful thing people think that there will not be accepted by the people because we in the world of perfect people are imperfect so I decided to appear more in public I started to paint I have done a lot of modeling campaigns I decided that I'm going to join the national TV of Pakistan as an anchorperson I became the National goodwill ambassador for UN Women Pakistan and now I speak

for the rights of women children I was featured in BBC hundred women for 2015 I'm one of the Forbes 30 under 30 for 2016 so when you accept yourself the way you are the world recognizes you it all starts from within we have this amazing fantasy about life this is how things should work this is my plan it should go as per my plan if that doesn't happen we give up I never wanted to be on the wheelchair never thought of being on the beach this life is a test and a trial and tests are

never supposed to be easy so when you're expecting ease from life and life gives you lemons then you make the lemonade and then do not blame life for that it is okay to be scared it is okay to cry everything is okay but giving up should not be an option they always say that failure is not an option failure should be an option because when you fail you get up and then you fail and then you get up and that keeps you going embrace each and every breath that you are taking celebrate your life live

it don't die before your death real happiness lies in gratitude so be grateful be alive and live every moment [Music]