The 10 Things That All Flat Earthers Say

Hey everyone, so some of you may be aware of my recent foray into the flat earth community, most notably with this lengthy response to the Globebusters. For about two months now, the comments section of that video has been a consistent hot bed of activity, with hundreds of flat earthers stopping by to share their opinions. Now for people who claim that “globetards” just repeat what they were told in school, you guys sure do all say the exact same things.

And I don’t just mean the same arguments, I mean the same things word for word, as though it was copied and pasted from some manifesto. This is because you all watch the same ridiculous youtube videos made by the same handful of con men, and you all quote them verbatim without applying a shred of critical thinking. So now, after becoming intimately familiar with your “greatest hits”, I just had to do one more video sharing the ten things that all flat earthers say.

If you’re a regular person and you haven’t seen my other two flat earth videos, you may want to check those out first for a little context. But if you are a flat earther yourself then don’t bother, I’ll be speaking directly to you throughout this video. Let’s begin.

Number one. One extremely problematic side effect of taking the globe and flattening it out into a plane is that gravity makes no sense, and there is no reason for things to fall to the ground. All objects accelerate towards the ground at 9.

8 meters per second squared. That’s an indisputable fact, and it is also an indisputable fact that any acceleration requires a force to produce it. This is how cars drive, planes fly, people walk, cats jump, it’s how literally all motion works.

Even charlatans like the globebusters accept at least this much, which is why they go off on their rants about magnetic magic, as you may have seen in my previous video. But quite comically, most flat earthers don’t even do this. Most of you address this problem by simply listing two words.

Density, and buoyancy. Well, I hate to break it to you guys, but these are not forces. Forces are vectors.

They have a magnitude, which means a numerical amount, and a direction, which means they have to point somewhere. Density is simply mass per unit volume, or how much matter sits in a particular space. It doesn’t point anywhere.

And buoyancy is simply a measurement of an object’s tendency to float. So allow me to repeat. THESE ARE NOT FORCES.

This is trivial to prove. You say that objects fall down because they are more dense than the air below them. Why down?

Why not up? Or sideways? When you let go of a ball, there is air all around it.

How does it know to fall down? Also, objects fall down when they are in a vacuum, which means there is no air below them. What’s happening there?

Face the facts. Things accelerate down towards the ground because of a downward force. That force is gravity, which pulls everything towards the center of the earth, which is its center of mass.

Denser things displace less dense things because gravity exists. More mass means a greater gravitational attraction. This is clearly why things that are less dense than water float on water, again because gravity exists.

Rocks are pulled down harder than water, which is pulled down harder than air. Some of your more popular retorts to this include wondering how oceans stay on the earth while birds and insects can fly. It’s because birds and insects have wings.

They flap them and generate an upward force. If that force exceeds the gravitational force, they go up. Oceans can’t do this, because oceans don’t have wings.

Individual water molecules can evaporate and go up into the sky because they are so, so, so tiny. But when they get up to where it is colder and accumulate into clouds, they eventually condense back into liquid water, and guess what happens? They fall back down as rain.

Hopefully you are familiar with rain. As for planes and other macroscopic objects, again, they go up only when a force is applied. When you throw a ball up into the sky, the force imparted on the ball by your arm is greater than the gravitational force, but as soon as it leaves your hand, no more force is being applied, and only the gravitational force is acting upon the ball, so that velocity gets smaller and smaller, hits zero, at which point it starts to fall, and it falls faster and faster until it hits the ground.

Gravity. Gravity exists. Period.

Saying it is “just a theory” does nothing but display that you have no idea what a theory is. Stop repeating what you hear on flat earth videos, and catch up to the 17th century. Number two.

Flat earthers all say “I shouldn’t see this thing, but I do, so the earth is flat. ” Then to justify this claim, you all say the same thing, typically with no context whatsoever. 8 inches per mile squared.

None of you have any idea what this means. You can’t derive it. You can’t calculate anything with it.

You can’t make a prediction with it. You can’t tell me anything about this value at all. When I point this out to you, you get very angry, and instead of answering simple questions, you just link me to a bunch of videos made by con men.

Well I’m sorry friends, those people are doing incorrect math, or lying, or both, and they are counting on the fact that you won’t do any math at all to check up on them. 8 inches per mile squared is not a valid way to measure earth’s curvature. If you understood math, you would immediately see that this “squared” on miles is totally out of place.

That’s because this is a parabolic approximation. This is for doing calculations with a parabola. It’s possible that you remember this shape from middle school algebra, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t.

As you can see, the earth is not shaped like this. So where does it come from, and why do people use it? It comes from the flat earth bible, Zetetic Astronomy, and flat earth priests use it because they know it’s not accurate.

It gives them incorrect values that they can use to claim that they shouldn’t be able to see something, when in fact they totally should. There are dozens of videos on youtube demonstrating this, several of which reference the actual formula that actually describes earth’s curvature, which as you can see requires trigonometry. Stop blindly repeating what you hear on flat earth videos, and learn some basic math so that you can do these calculations for yourself.

Number three. All flat earthers say the same two things about water. The first is “water doesn’t curve”, and the second is “water finds its own level”.

The second phrase is completely meaningless, so the fact that you all say that exact thing verbatim is just one of the many demonstrations that you all blindly repeat what you hear without giving it a moment’s thought. As for the first phrase, stating that water doesn’t curve is at least a coherent thought, however, it is dead wrong. Put a drop of water on a piece of wax paper, or a leaf.

What does it look like? A freaking sphere! Isn’t that something?

In your haste to mindlessly parrot what you heard from flat earth priests about water, you forgot to look at water. Water curves, my friends. Look at this curved meniscus.

Look at these waves. Water curves all the time. Water is not magic.

It is subject to influence by external forces just like all other matter. With a spherical water droplet, that’s the electromagnetic force. Water molecules make hydrogen bonds with one another, which in this context we refer to as cohesive forces.

That’s why water has a very high surface tension. And that’s why a water droplet remains spherical, so that it can maximize the number of hydrogen bonds that are formed, and keep the system at the lowest energy possible. So clearly and indisputably, water curves.

In this example it is due to the electromagnetic force. It is therefore quite easy to understand that it can curve under the influence of any force. Including gravity.

The oceans conform to the curvature of the earth just like the land does, and for the same reason. This is why saying that “water finds its own level” is absolutely meaningless. You think that level means flat, as though on the globe model, water should just magically project into space at some arbitrary angle.

In fact, level just means as close to the center of the earth as possible. What’s most hilarious is that even in the tool called the level, which only works because gravity exists, there is a curved bubble right in there. If the bubble is curved, what is the liquid, which is mostly water, doing around that bubble?

It curves! It is absolutely astonishing how the things you repeat from flat earth videos are incompatible with even the most trivial every day observations. You should acknowledge that.

Number four. You are all quite perplexed about how earth’s atmosphere can exist next to the vacuum of space. This one is rather amusing, because what’s happening is that since you have no science education, your only context for the word vacuum is a vacuum cleaner.

And again, because you have no science education, none of you understand how a vacuum cleaner works, which is a problem, because you seem to think that outer space is a vacuum cleaner. Let’s take a moment and clear this up. A vacuum is any region where there is no stuff.

Here there is stuff. Like air. In space, there is no stuff, or at least very very close to no stuff.

Space is essentially empty. That’s a vacuum. It is not a thing that sucks.

Vacuums don’t suck. Everyone say it with me together. Vacuums don’t suck.

Earth’s atmosphere displays a gradient because gravity exists. There’s a lot of atmosphere right near the ground, and then as you rise, because fewer and fewer molecules will have enough kinetic energy to go so high, it gets thinner and thinner and thinner until there’s none left. Then you’re in space.

It’s that simple. Number five. One of your favorite little “gotcha” challenges, is to request that we demonstrate how water can stick to a ball spinning at a thousand miles per hour.

The implication is that water and everything else should fly off of it, like a child getting thrown from a merry-go-round. Well it’s very cute that you get overwhelmed by numbers with four digits in them, but in actuality the earth spins once per day. One time in twenty four hours.

Get on a merry-go-round and have someone push you one time around over twenty four hours. Not a very thrilling ride, is it? The issue is that the earth is really really big.

So if instead of using rotational velocity to describe a rotating body, like a normal person, you try to use linear tangential velocity, you’re gonna get a pretty big number. But to be honest, it’s still not really that big. Planes go more than half that speed, and sitting on a plane at cruising altitude with no turbulence is just like sitting on a chair on the ground.

Flat earth priests cite these big velocities associated with the earth and the solar system purely for shock value, and you’re falling for it. Stop doing that. Furthermore, this little “water doesn’t stick to a ball” challenge is the strawiest straw man that was ever made of straw.

The earth is huge. It generates an enormous gravitational field. That’s why everything sticks to it.

A ball is very tiny. It does not generate an enormous gravitational field, so things don’t stick to it. Also, unless you’re doing this in space, the ball must be very close to the earth, which as we just said, generates an enormous gravitational field.

So when water drips off the ball onto the ground, your desired demonstration of gravity fails because gravity exists. Stop asking for ridiculous and impossible demonstrations, like having to build an earth-sized object to show you how water sticks to something as big as the earth. Number six.

Lots of you say that moonlight is cold. This is astonishing for a number of reasons. The first is that it is not related to any claim you could possibly be making in order to argue for a flat earth.

But the second, and much more important detail, is that it is the perfect demonstration of the fact that you have no clue how science works. Some flat earth priest measured the temperature under the moonlight, and then again under something providing shade. Wow!

Moonlight makes it colder! But does it? Shouldn’t you add some element of control to your experiment?

What’s a control you ask? Fair question. You see, your measurement isn’t evidence of anything.

You now have to repeat the experiment when there is no moonlight to make sure that the moonlight was indeed the cause of the discrepancy in temperature. This is something you should have learned in middle school, but don’t worry, I’ll finish the experiment for you. Take the measurements again on a night with a new moon, so that there is no moonlight.

Look at that! You’ll get the same result. So the moonlight absolutely wasn’t the reason for the discrepancy in temperature.

What was the reason? Well that thing that is providing the shade from the moonlight is also trapping in heat that is emanating from the earth while it faces away from the sun. So, case closed.

I’ll link to at least one empirical demonstration of this fact in the description below. See how important it is to know how to do a science experiment? Maybe you should actually learn science, rather than just repeating what you hear on flat earth videos.

Number seven. Many of you say some unintelligible nonsense about water flowing uphill, or that on the globe model, some rivers flow uphill. This one is so stupid that I genuinely can’t believe any human could fall for it.

You’ll look at a globe and say that a river flows this way, and that this is somehow uphill, because you seem to think that up on the screen is some kind of universal up in space. Well how about if I turn this a little bit? What do you know!

Now it’s down. Listen up. There is no up and down in space.

This is not up. This is not down. To believe so would be as dumb as thinking that on earth, whichever way you happen to be facing is north.

No one on earth is upside down, or on their side. Up on earth is away from the surface of the earth, no matter where you are on the earth. Rivers flow from higher elevation to lower elevation, which is a measure of how far away you are from the surface of the earth.

This has nothing to do with flowing in any particular direction along the surface. This is also why people who make videos acting confused about why elevation doesn’t change between various sea level locations around the world, are among the dumbest people alive. This is sea level.

This is sea level. This is above sea level. This is above sea level.

That’s what elevation means. Learn the definitions of words before you try to use them in a sentence. Number eight.

Many flat earthers remain dumbfounded by the idea that the earth is slightly closer to the sun in winter than in summer. As I’ve said before, winter up north is summer down south, and vice versa. So your confusion is one of northern hemisphere narcisissm.

But it is also one of complete ignorance. Here’s the earth. Here’s the light coming from the sun.

Look at this portion. It hits the earth straight on. Look at this portion.

Because of the curvature of the earth, the light hits the surface at an angle, and is therefore distributed around a greater area. Same amount of heat distributed around a larger area, lower average temperature. This is absolutely trivial to understand.

It’s why magnifying glasses can focus light to a point and set things on fire. It’s how heat works. Flat earth priests know this, they just pretend to be confused about things that they know their viewers won’t check up on.

Number nine. Many flat earthers refer to the body of scientific knowledge as “scientism”. This is meant to be derogatory, implying that science is a religion.

I’m very sorry, but saying this just demonstrates that you know nothing about science, and probably didn’t pass a single science class in high school. Science students are not told what to believe. They are shown how to perform experiments.

Even in high school physics, students use blocks and ramps and balls and pendulums and carts and rulers and timers to derive Newton’s laws and many other such pillars of science. They personally do the science that has already been done by others in order to derive the knowledge that we already know, and prove its validity to themselves. This continues through college, and then on into graduate school, where students do their own research and figure out things that no one else has done yet.

So using the word scientism only serves to disqualify you from adult conversation regarding science. In actuality, it is quite clear why you adopt this viewpoint. Because you just accept whatever you hear if it’s what you want to believe.

This is why your beliefs are baseless. Since you are incapable of doing anything other than repeating what you are told, you assume that others are doing the same thing. But they are not.

Those that are educated in the sciences understand how things work, and use this information to build technology, such as computers and the internet, both of which you use to claim that the science that produced them isnt real, in a display of irony so thick that you could cut it with a knife. And to wrap things up, number ten. The piece de resistance.

The claim that we have all been indoctrinated. That we have been brainwashed, by schools, by the government, by NASA, by freemasons, by Hollywood. Take your pick.

Well, as I have demonstrated in this clip, you all say the same exact ridiculous things word for word, like you’re reciting the oath of the flat earth fraternity, so it’s a rather silly accusation to be throwing around. The fact that you all say the same things is not surprising in the slighest. What do you do when you want to brainwash someone?

You tell them they have already been brainwashed. That’s what flat earth priests do. They tell you that you’ve been brainwashed so that you are nice and receptive to the brainwashing.

They tell you that everything you know is a lie so that they can lie to you. It’s human psychology 101. Why do they do this?

Money. Status. It’s a way for con men to capitalize on the gullible few who exhibit a combination of ignorance and suggestibility.

It’s a cult. You’re part of a cult. Not like the “kill yourselves with kool-aid” kind, but it’s not that far off.

So get angry, call me a shill, call me whatever you want. I guarantee that many of you will attempt to bring up these ten things I just talked about while commenting on this very video, having not even watched any of it. Most of the rest will avoid addressing anything I said and just vomit a bunch of other, different flat earth talking points.

But hopefully a small handful of you will have the courage to accept that you’ve fallen for a hoax. It’s not that big a deal. Many of us have fallen for hoaxes or been manipulated at one time or another, myself included.

Just admit it to yourself and walk away. And when you’re ready to learn science in earnest, my tutorials will be waiting you. Thanks for watching.