Entire Family Blocked Me Off After My Wife Cheated on Me With My Cousin and Had a Baby, My Whole...

entire family blocked me off after my wife cheated on me with my cousin and had a baby my whole family kept it secret while I struggled to become successful now they want me back so there's a lot of context here kindly bear with me as I explain this whole situation to my family right now I'm 44 male and have been married for 10 years and have been with my wife 41f for 13 years we also have an 8-year-old son and we are quite happy with our lives however this is not my first marriage I got

married at 2 to but unfortunately that marriage ended in divorce within 3 years for reasons that I'm still not aware of my ex-wife let's call her Amy had been with me since we were in middle school we were pretty much childhood sweethearts and as soon as we graduated college and had decent jobs we decided to get married things were fine for the first couple of years but after that for some reason stuff started to get weird between us I tried my very best to keep the spark alive but after that point I started to feel

like she was not interested at all I did everything in my power to get her back but a couple of weeks before our third marriage anniversary she decided to hand me divorce papers and told me that she was done I wanted to work on our marriage I just wanted one reason why we had to give up after being together for so long but she couldn't give me any reasons apart from the fact that she was just not in love with me anymore I was really upset but I couldn't do anything about it so I decided

to go through with it since I had no other option and I did not want to make her even more unhappy by forcing her to stay with me and dragging out the divorce we didn't have a lot of joint assets together so it was a relatively straightforward process and after that I did not see her again I heard from a couple of friends that after the divorce was finalized she moved cities and cut everybody off this is normal but what was really strange was that even my family stopped speaking to me around the time of

the divorce they should have been supportive of me when I was going through something so difficult but instead they started distancing themselves from me after the divorce was finalized I tried really hard to keep in touch with them but I realized that I had been blocked everywhere I even tried to go visit them a couple of times but neither did my parents ever open the door to me nor did my sister it was all very strange and I was already going through a tough time so it really hit me hard for a couple of years

after the divorce I couldn't even bring myself to do anything and ended up quitting my job and sitting at home unemployed for a few months but I'm incredibly lucky that even in such difficult times I had friends by my side who decided to motivate me to do better and try to move on my family was never there for me after the divorce so my friends took care of me and eventually I decided to start my own restaurant it had always been my dream but I had decided to wait to save up enough money since I

also had to think about Amy while we were married however now that we had gotten divorced I decided that I would go through with it on my own and I also decided to use the name that my parents had suggested for the restaurant with the help of my friends I reached out to a couple of investors got them on board started building a business model and within a few years I started my first restaurant it took me almost 4 years to get back on my feet after the divorce and 2 years after that I met

my wife we met through friends at a party and she told me that she loved my restaurant so that's how we got to talking after 3 years of dating I decided to finally give love another chance and asked her to marry me and now 10 years later here we are with our son it's not just my personal life that has improved over the past couple of years but also my professional life since I have done reasonably well in my career it all started with a restaurant but then we slowly began to expand thanks to the

success uccess of the first restaurant currently I am the CEO of my own Hospitality Group and we own a semi-popular chain of restaurants and hotels which we are currently planning to expand even more so we become more popular outside of the state as well it has been an uphill battle but I have worked really hard to get where I am and that's why when I was asked to sit for an interview recently I thought that it was a sign that I had really made it so I agreed but I honestly had no idea that it

would lead to such a storm in my life because my family decided to come back and reach out to me after having watched that interview on the news the channel that had picked it up was a moderately popular one so I hadn't really expected my family to have watched it and even if I had I did not expect them to show up at my office it's not really private information where my workplace is so it must have been quite easy for them to find me but anyway it was still quite inappropriate for them to show

up at my workplace and demand to see me during work hours unfortunately 3 days back that's exactly what they did and it was quite weird for me to see them after so long when they showed up I was working but the receptionist told me that my family was waiting outside at first I thought that it was my wife and my son that she was talking about which would have been weird because my wife was at work and my son was at school but then she clarified and told me that it was my parents and sister

who were there to see me it was then that I started finding it difficult to process what was going on and so I told the receptionist that I would see them later but for now they would have to be told to leave but of course they did not leave and started throwing a tantrum so I had to intervene because I did not want security to throw them out of the building before I got a chance to speak to them and find out what on Earth was happening so I went to see them in the lobby

and as soon as they saw me they started acting like nothing had changed since the last time that I saw them which was almost 20 years ago they literally started fawning over me instantly telling me how great it was that I had become successful enough to make it to the news and how inspiring my story was it felt very weird to hear them say that because since they were my family they actually should have been part of that story and I kept trying to brush It Off by telling them that I had to go back

to work but then they started talking about how they had seen my family as well there was a part in my interview where I talked about my wife and son and how great they had been throughout my journey and the channel had put together a couple of our family photos so I'm guessing that's what they were referring to and they started telling me that they really wanted to meet my wife and their grandson as soon as possible because they had spent a really long time away from all of us at that point they started telling

me that I had not put in enough of an effort to get in touch with them after the divorce and that I should have tried harder then I realized that I might finally be able to find out what exactly had gone back then so I decided to let them talk instead of telling them to leave and even took a seat in the lobby with them so I could get to the bottom of what had happened those years ago just so that I would get some closure and while they were talking I discovered the real reason

that Amy had decided to get a divorce from me and why exactly my family had abandoned me after that you guys might have figured it out by now but yeah Amy had been cheating on me and I had never had a clue because my parents had been helping or cover it up all along don't judge them too quickly though since they had their reasons at least according to them these were valid reasons to help their daughter-in-law cheat on their son apparently the person that Amy was having an affair with was my cousin my dad's older

brother's son when they finally told me about that everything seemed to fall into place almost immediately why they had helped her out why I hadn't been invited to any family events in the past 20 years why I'd been completely cast aside for no fault of my own my cousin let's call him Carl was a spoiled entitled brat and I had always hated him but unfortunately because his mother had passed away when he was just 6 months old his dad and the rest of the family seemed to think that he should get a free pass for

everything that he did so throughout his entire life nobody had told him how to behave and he always got away with everything it did not help that my uncle was my dad's boss since he had started the family business and my dad had joined him later and after our marriage since Carl had decided that he wanted to be with Amy and she had also wanted the same thing my family had no other choice but to help them out because they couldn't risk my uncle's anger of course but putting the relationship with me at risk was

something easily doable and so that's what they did they told me that after the divorce my uncle made it very clear that he didn't want anybody from the family to have any contact with me at all including my parents and sister apparently they had tried to protest but then Amy had announced that she was pregnant with my kid and if they ever wanted to have any contact with their grandkid they would have to cut me off by the way I was never notified of the fact that Amy was pregnant when she had filed for a

divorce and another time she hadn't been showing either so I couldn't have guessed neither had she been staying with me since she had moved out long before the divorce was finalized so I had no idea that I had become a father long before my son was born and apparently I have a daughter who is almost 20 now but has never even known me and thinks that Carl is her real father anyway this was whatever my parents told me about what had really happened all those years ago and I could hardly begin to process any of

that at that moment because I felt like I was being told a story and I had to pinch myself to actually realize that this was my reality my family had basically just cut me off in favor of having a relationship with their grandchild and job security or so they believed but in my opinion they had cut me off because they were cowards and nothing else they could have easily come to me with the truth and let me deal with the situation but they chose to be afraid of my dad's brother as if he could actually

do any harm to them other than firing my father from the business and even then my dad could have easily retaliated by filing a lawsuit as for never telling me about Amy's pregnancy and the fact that I have a daughter I literally cannot think of any excuse for that for 20 whole years they had sat on this and never spoken up until they found out that I was doing well in life and now all of a sudden they were feeling really sorry about everything and wanted to make it up to me unfortunately for them I

could see through their act and as soon as they were done telling me everything I told them that I needed them to leave because whatever they had just said to me I couldn't find it in me to forgive them at the moment I tried to be civil to them because after all we were sitting in the lobby of my workplace and I did not want to throw a tantrum but of course I couldn't count on them to behave the same way and when I said that I wanted them to leave they immediately started whining about

it and told me that I needed to think about where they were coming from and how difficult the situation had been for them as well I told them that I knew for a fact that they had only decided to reach out to me now simply because I was successful and they wanted a piece of that but they started denying it vehemently and my sister even went to the extent of saying that I owed my success to them in the first place by that she obviously meant that I had used the name that they had suggested

for my restaurant all those years ago when it was still a dream that I had I thought it was really bold of her to make a claim like that given the fact that neither had had any of their support throughout all of these years and had done everything on my own with Help from My Friends but not them just having suggested a name did not make them worthy enough to credit My Success to themselves and it was such a ridiculous idea that I ended up laughing at her and I told her that if she and

her parents did not leave that very instant I would have them thrown out of the building so they immediately started arguing with me telling me that they were not going anywhere until we had cleared the air between us but honestly I was just not interested so I did exactly what I had told them I would do I had them thrown out of the building by security they were naturally very upset while they were being thrown out and kept trying to tell me that they had no choice in stuff but I don't buy that they did

have a choice they just made the wrong one and now they're going to have to face the consequences for it it hasn't been difficult for them to live for the past 20 years without having seen me and my family I'm sure they can manage it in the future as well anyway it has been 3 days since then and they haven't stopped trying to contact me ever since they have been texting me on social media sending me emails at my work address and have even been showing up at my office but haven't had the guts to

come back inside yet there is been a definite change in their attitude because now all they are doing is trying to apologize to me all their messages are just full of apologies and even when I see them standing outside my workplace they look really upset and they wait for me to stop for them but I just drive by and ignore them it has gotten to a point where I almost feel bad for them to be honest I have spoken to my wife about this because regardless of what I decide to do about my family we

still have to think about my daughter who I didn't even know existed until a couple of days back we have been going back and forth on that since neither of us really knows if we should Trace her and try to reach out to her yet or not and then on top of that we also have a family to deal with because I don't think they're going to go anywhere until they get another chance to speak to me my wife thinks that just for the sake of at least attempting to to clear things out maybe I

should just speak to them invite them home and let us all talk it out so at least we can get all the toxicity out of the way because this is not good for my emotional health but I personally have no interest in doing anything like that I just want to keep ignoring them until they go away on their own mostly because I don't have the capacity to deal with them right now especially after everything that I have found out and whatever I'm dealing with at the moment so we are having a lot of trouble trying

to figure out what to do and how to deal with this and I want to ask Ida for not wanting to give my parents a chance to speak to me after 20 years of no contact update 1 so it has been a week and 3 days since I posted here and my wife and I have decided that we are going to continue to ignore my family thankfully for the past couple of days they haven't been showing up at my workplace probably because they got tired of it or maybe they got intimidated by the security but

for whatever reason they haven't been showing up and I'm very relieved once they stopped showing up I found it much easier to stop thinking about them so I guess it was just their faces that were making me feel bad about what ever I was doing however now I don't feel guilty about ignoring their messages anymore they can keep apologizing all they want but it's not going to change anything because the fact of the matter is that they have failed me as a family and no amount of apologizing is ever going to make that right again

they have still continued to send messages to me from various accounts and email addresses and at this point I'm not even bothering to block them anymore because what's the point they're just going to create new ones to try and apologize to me and I'm going to just keep ignoring all of it anyway let's see how how long they can keep this up and how sorry they are about everything moving on to the other problem that we were dealing with my wife and I had no idea how to deal with the situation with my daughter we

do have a name since my parents had told me her full name and where she goes to college while we were talking the other day so we have managed to trace her my assistant managed to find her social media accounts for me but so far I haven't done anything I don't even know if it's appropriate for me to do anything and neither do I have any idea how I'm supposed to tell her that I her actual biological father she is not a minor so obviously I can't just show up at Amy's house demanding custody and

stuff and honestly I would much rather not have her involved in this at all because after what I found out about her I have lost all respect for that woman and my entire family they are all just a bunch of spineless cowards and I want nothing to do with them but I can't say the same thing for my daughter because no matter who she has been raised by she is still my flesh and blood anyway if anybody has any advice on how to go ahead and talk to her about this or whether I should even

be doing that or not please let me know no also thank you to everybody who responded to my original post and commented on it it was really helpful and I'm hoping that you guys can help me out once again here now update two hey so after going through the comments on my update from 3 days back my wife and I just decided to go for it there was no point in waiting for the right time or the right opportunity to text my daughter we just had to rip off the Band-Aid and be done with it

and because she lives in a different state and we don't think that it would be the right thing to do to fly out to her we decided to send her a message first and see how that goes so we reached out to her on Instagram explained everything to her as nicely as we could and now we are waiting for a response from her I'm sure it's going to be really complicated to come to terms with it it is complicated for me as well and I don't even understand how my wife has managed to be so

supportive knowing that I'm reaching out to the long lost daughter whom I had with my ex-wife I'm sure it's a lot of complicated emotions for all of us but we are trying our best and I'm really hoping that my daughter reaches back out to me because I would really love to have a relationship with her now coming to my parents and what they are up to they haven't shown up at my workplace in a really long time and yesterday they sent me a really long email saying that they were really sorry about everything but they

genuinely want to repair their relationship with me and they just need one chance for me they told me that they wouldn't be reaching out to me again but they're going to wait for me to reach out to them instead honestly I'm kind of relieved that they took the hint and realized that I really don't want to speak to them right now I already have a lot on my plate to be dealing with at the moment the last thing that I need is for them to create more drama now I'm just hoping that they stick to

what they said and do not reach out to me again if I feel ready or if I want to speak to them at any point I will do so myself however right now it seems very unlikely that it's going to happen anytime soon because now that I know the real reason that they hadn't spoken to me in 20 whole years the situation has become much worse with them I feel betrayed and hurt and I don't think that's going to go away anytime soon at least the one good thing that came out of this was that

I found out about my daughter and now I really hope that she decides to give our relationship a chance I haven't told my son about this yet just in case she doesn't want to talk to us I wouldn't want to give him false hope but if things go well he might find a sister in her and I might be able to get to know the daughter that I never knew I had I just have a lot of emotions right now and I'm really trying hard to keep it together update three hi so almost 2 weeks

ago I reached out to my daughter on social media and I sent her a message telling her everything about who I was and how she was related to me after that for 2 weeks I waited for her to respond and today I finally got a text back she didn't say much just told me that she had spoken to her mother about me after my message and had finally found out that I was her biological father obviously this had come as a shock to her because for the past 20 years she had believed that Carl was

her biological father and had no idea that she wasn't his daughter she had also found out the real story behind how her mother and I ended up like this and told me that she would like to meet me and my family so we are all flying out to see her this weekend since she's not speaking to her family right now so she doesn't have the funds to come see us she didn't get into the details but when she confronted Amy about the message that she had received at first Amy tried to deny it but then

she was forced to tell her the truth I haven't heard from Amy yet and I really hope that she doesn't contact me because I don't want to speak to her however my family did break their promise immediately and started trying to talk to me as soon as they found out that I had reached out to my daughter apparently my uncle was Furious that I had found out about it and naturally so because they had spent 20 years trying to make sure that I never found out so I wouldn't cause any trouble in their life but

now I finally knew and of course my uncle was holding my parents responsible for all of this my dad doesn't even work for him anymore he is his Independent Business but for some reason he is still terrified of his older brother and has been begging me to tell my uncle or Carl or somebody that they did not have anything to do with this and that I found out on my own somehow even if I did do that I think it's highly unlikely that anybody would believe it because they are the only people like to do

something like this since I haven't ever been close to most of my family and they haven't bothered to speak to me in the past 20 years it's funny how desperate they are acting right now just so that they don't lose the relationship that they have with my uncle but honestly I don't really care it was because of them that I did not have a relationship with my daughter for 20 years of our lives so I think this is really the least that I can do for them update four hello everyone so today my family and

I finally met my daughter it was weird at first and then it was really emotional but mostly it was just beautiful she seems to be a really kind and good human being which is weird because she was raised by two of the cruelest and most horrible people I know but I guess they did a good job raising her or maybe it's just her own innate nature but whatever it was she seems to be a really intelligent and mature girl we had a long chat about how things were going with Amy and her father and she

told me that they were naturally not on board with her meeting us but she didn't care because after she found out the truth she simply didn't care what her parents thought they did not not have any kids after her she is their only child so she doesn't think that she's going to abandon them forever but she's definitely going to distance herself from them for a while and try to process all of this she told me that she needs some time to start building a relationship with me as well she just is in a very weird

place mentally right now and I totally understand but overall we had a really nice time and she really seemed to get along with my wife and her half brother as well we had dinner together and we found out that my parents her grandparents had been in touch with her all along and she always found it weird how emotional they were about her considering the fact that they were not her actual grandparents but her grandfather's brother's family but now it all makes sense why they were so attached to her however after everything that she has found

out she sees all of them in a different light and so do I so I can completely understand how she feels well maybe not completely because I'm a lot older than her and she's just 20 so she's probably finding it a lot more difficult to deal with because she has been lied to her entire life by the people she considered to be the closest to her but anyway way both of us are going to have to work on this and hopefully the future will be better I know it has to be because we're going to

try and make it the best all I'm really happy about is that the meeting went well and my family seems to be really content after all of this and so am I I'm quite content with the situation as well regardless of what my family has done or what Amy and Carl have done what matters is that at least now after so many years we have a chance at making things right and I'm going to make the most of that chance