Always Be Silent in Five Situations - Dr Joe Dispenza Motivation

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Motivational Insight
Discover the profound power of silence and learn when to speak up and when to hold your peace in thi...
Video Transcript:
has anyone ever told you that sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all it may seem counterintuitive in a world that value self-expression and speaking your mind but I've discovered that there are certain situations in life where silence truly is golden you see words are incredibly powerful they have the ability to heal or to hurt to inspire or to discourage to clarify or to confuse and once they leave our lips we can never take them back that's why it's so important to choose our words carefully and to know when it's best to
stay silent through my own life experiences and observations I've identified five key situations where holding your tongue and embracing silence can be the wisest course of action these are the moments when saying less says more the times when keeping quiet can speak volumes about your character your wisdom and your emotional intelligence now I know what some of you might be thinking but I'm an honest person I believe in speaking my truth and letting others know exactly how I feel and I absolutely respect that honesty and authenticity are admirable qualities and there's certainly a time and
a place for expressing yourself openly and directly but here's the thing there's a difference between honesty and reactivity between assertiveness and aggression between standing up for yourself and causing unnecessary harm to others or to yourself and that's where the power of Silence comes in you see silence is not weakness it's not passivity or avoidance or repression on the contrary silence is a sign of great strength restraint and self-control it's a way of responding rather than reacting of taking a step back and considering the bigger picture before opening your mouth think about it how many times
have you said something In the Heat of the Moment that you later regretted how many relationships have been damaged or opportunities lost because of a careless comment or a knee-jerk reaction how much unnecessary drama and conflict could have been avoided if you had simply taken a deep breath and chosen to stay silent that's the beauty of Silence it gives you the space to pause to reflect to choose your words and your actions wisely it allows you to communicate not just with your voice but with your presence your body language your energy and it can be
a powerful tool for diffusing tense situations for preserving your own peace of mind and for building stronger more authentic relationships with others so what are these five situations where silence is the best policy let's dive in and explore them together the first situation is when you're angry or upset we've all been there someone says or does something that pushes our buttons and we feel that surge of emotion rising up in our chest our face flushes our heart races and we have the overwhelming urge to lash out to give that person a piece of our mind
but here's the responding in Anger rarely leads to a positive outcome when we're in the grip of strong emotions our judgment is clouded and we're more likely to say things we don't mean or to escalate the situation unnecessarily we may feel a momentary sense of satisfaction from unleashing our Fury but in the long run it often does more harm than good that's why when you feel yourself getting angry or upset the best thing you can do is to take a step back and stay silent give yourself some time and space to calm down to process
your emotions and to gain some perspective on the situation take a few deep breaths go for a walk or find a healthy outlet for your feelings like journaling or exercise and when you do feel ready to address the issue do so from a place of calm and Clarity choose your words carefully and focus on expressing yourself assertively but respectfully remember the goal is not to win an argument or to prove a point but to communicate effectively and to find a resolution that works for everyone involved the second situation where silence is golden is when you're
tempted to gossip or speak badly about someone let's face it we've all engaged in a little bit of gossip from time to time it can be tempting to bond with others over shared grievances or to feel a sense of superiority by putting someone else down but gossip is a dangerous game not only does it erode trust and damage relationships but it also reflects poorly on your own character when you speak badly about someone behind their back you're revealing more about yourself than you are about them you're showing that you're willing to betray confidences to judge
others harshly and to engage in Petty Behavior so the next time you're tempted to join in on a gossip session or to make a snide comment about someone pause and ask yourself is this really necessary is it kind is it constructive if the answer is no then it's best to keep your mouth shut and to find a more positive topic of conversation remember you have the power to set the tone for your interactions with others by choosing to stay silent when tempted to gossip you're sending a clear message that you value Integrity loyalty and respect
you're showing that you're someone who can be trusted who rises above pettiness and who treats others with kindness and compassion the third situ ation where silence is the way to go is when you're in the presence of someone who is grieving or going through a difficult time when someone we care about a suffering our first instinct is often to try to fix the problem or to offer words of comfort and advice we want to say something anything to ease their pain and to make them feel better but sometimes the most powerful thing we can do
is simply to be present and to listen to sit with someone in their grief or their struggle without judgment or expectation to offer a listening ear a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold you see when someone is going through a tough time they don't always need us to have all the answers or to solve their problems for them they may just need to feel heard understood and supported they may need the space to process their emotions and to find their own way forward and that's where the power of Silence comes in by
staying quiet and allowing someone to share their feelings without interruption or unsolicited advice we're giving them a precious gift we're showing them that we respect their Journey that we trust in their resilience and that we're here for them no matter what so the next time you're with someone who is grieving or going through a challenging time resist the urge to fill the Silence with platitudes or suggestions instead simply be present listen with an open heart and an open mind let them know that you're there for them that you care about them and that you're willing
to sit with them in the discomfort and the pain remember sometimes the most powerful thing we can say is nothing at all sometimes our silent presence and our loving attention are all that's needed to help someone heal and to find their way back to wholeness the fourth situation where silence is the best approach is when you're in a heated argument or a contentious debate we've all been in those situations where emotions are running High where opinions are clashing and where everyone is talking over each other trying to make their point heard it can be tempting
to jump into The Fray to raise your voice and to try to dominate the conversation after all you have important things to say and you want to make sure that your perspective is being considered but here's the thing when everyone is talking no one is listening and when no one is listening no real communication or understanding can take place all that happens is that everyone gets more entrenched in their own positions more defensive and more reactive and the chances of finding common ground or reaching a resolution diminish that's why in a heated argument or debate
sometimes the wisest thing you can do is to stay silent and to listen to really hear what the other person is saying without interrupting or mentally formulating your rebuttal to try to understand their perspective even if you don't agree with it by staying quiet and listening actively your cre creting the space for genuine dialogue and exchange of ideas you're showing that you're open to learning to considering other viewpoints and to finding a way forward that works for everyone involved and when you do speak do so calmly clearly and respectfully focus on expressing your own thoughts
and feelings rather than attacking or blaming others use I statements like I feel or I think rather than use statements which can come across as accusatory or judgmental remember the goal of any healthy AR argument or debate is not to win but to understand and to find a resolution that everyone can live with and sometimes the key to achieving that goal is to embrace the power of Silence to listen deeply and to communicate with care and compassion the fifth and final situation where silence is the best policy is when you're in doubt or unsure of
what to say we've all had those moments where we're put on the spot where someone asks us a question or makes a comment that catches us off guard our mind goes blank and we feel pressure to say something anything to fill the awkward silence but here's the thing there's no shame in admitting that you don't have all the answers or that you need some time to think before responding in fact it's a sign of great wisdom and self-awareness to be able to say I don't know or I need to give that some more thought before
I can give you a full answer you see we live in a culture that values quick thinking decisive action and the ability to always have something to say but sometimes the most intelligent and thoughtful response is to stay silent to take a step back and to give yourself the time and space you need to process information and to formulate a considered opinion by embracing silence in moments of Doubt or uncertainty you're showing that you value accuracy over speed substance over style you're demonstrating that you're willing to be vulnerable to admit what you don't know and
to seek out more information or perspectives before making a judgment or taking a stand and when you do speak your words will carry more weight and credibility because they'll be coming from a place of genuine reflection and understanding rather than from a knee-jerk reaction or a desire to sound smart or in control so the next time you find yourself in a situation where you're not sure what to say take a deep breath and give yourself permission to be silent to take a moment to gather your thoughts to ask clarifying questions or to Simply say I
need some time to think about that before I can give you a full response remember silence is not a weakness or a failing it's a sign of strength of self-awareness and of a commitment to speaking and acting with integrity and authenticity as we come to the end of our exploration of the five situations where silence is the best approach I want to leave you with a few final thoughts and reflections first I want to acknowledge that staying silent in these situations is not always easy it can feel uncomfortable vulnerable or even scary to hold your
tongue when every fiber of your being is urging you to speak up or to react it takes practice patience and a willingness to sit with discomfort in order to cultivate the habit of thoughtful intentional communication but I promise you the rewards of embracing silence in these moments are well worth the effort by choosing to stay quiet when you're angry when you're tempted to gossip when you're in the presence of grief when you're in a heated argument or when you're in doubt you're not only improving your relationships and your communication skills but you're also growing as
a person you're developing greater self-awareness emotional intelligence and the ability to respond rather than react you're learning to trust in the power of your own presence and your own listening skills rather than always needing to have the right words or the perfect solution and most importantly you're cultivating a deeper sense of Peace both within yourself and in your interactions with others you're creating the space for genuine connection understanding and growth and you're inviting more love compassion and wisdom into your life and into the world around you so my invitation to you today is to start
small to notice the moments in your own life where you might benefit from staying silent and to experiment with holding your tongue and listening deeply is to be patient with yourself as you learn and grow and to celebrate the progress you make along the way remember silence is not about repressing your feelings or your opinions it's about choosing to express them in a way that is thoughtful intentional and in service of the highest good for yourself and for others and when you do choose to speak let your words be guided by Love by truth and
by a deep respect for the humanity and the Dignity of every person you encounter let your voice be a force for healing for connection and for positive of change in the world because ultimately that's what communication is all about it's not just about expressing ourselves but about creating a world where everyone feels heard valued and understood a world where we can come together across our differences and our disagreements and find common ground in our shared humanity and our shared hopes for a better future and it all starts with the simple powerful Act of knowing when
to speak and when to stay silent of choosing our words and our actions with care and with intention and of trusting in the wisdom and the guidance of our own inner voice so as you go forth from this moment I invite you to carry these teachings with you to let them be a source of strength of inspiration and of guidance as you navigate the ups and downs of life and relationships and most of all I invite you to trust in yourself to know that you have within you all the wisdom all the courage and all
the compassion you need to communicate with Clarity with kindness and with love because when we communicate from that place of deep authenticity and connection there's no limit to the Joy the healing and the transformation that's possible for ourselves and for the world around us as we continue to explore the power and wisdom of Silence I want to dive deeper into each of the five situations we've discussed and offer some additional insights and practical strategies for putting these teachings into action let's start with the first situation when you're angry or upset as we've seen responding in
Anger rarely leads to a positive outcome it can be easy to get caught up in the Heat of the Moment and say things we later regret but with practice and intention we can learn to use silence as a tool for self-regulation and emotional management one strategy that can be helpful is to create a pause button for yourself this is a mental cue or physical gesture that reminds you to take a step back and give yourself some space before reacting it could be something as simple as taking a deep breath counting to 10 or even visualizing
a literal pause button in your mind when you feel yourself getting triggered or upset hit that pause button and give yourself permission to take a moment of silence use that time to check in with yourself and notice what you're feeling in your body are your muscles tense is your heart racing are you feeling hot or flushed by bringing your awareness to your physical Sensations you can start to create some distance between yourself and your emotions you can recognize that the anger or upset is a temporary State and that you have the power to choose how
you respond to it another helpful strategy is to practice reframing your thoughts when we're angry our mind can get stuck in a loop of negative selft talk and blaming others we might tell ourselves things like they always do this to me or I can't believe they're so inconsiderate but the reality is that our thoughts are not always accurate or helpful they're often based on assumptions interpretations and past experiences that may or may not be relevant to the current situation so when you find yourself getting caught up in angry or blaming thoughts take a moment to
pause and question them ask yourself is this really true is there another way to look at this situation what would a wise and compassionate Observer say about what's Happening Here by challenging your own thoughts and looking for alternative perspectives you can start to diffuse the charge of your anger and find a more balanced and constructive way to respond and remember it's okay to take some time and space to process your emotions before addressing the situation you don't have to react immediately just because someone has pushed your buttons give yourself permission to step away take a
walk or do something else to calm and Center yourself before re-engaging the goal is not to suppress your anger or pretend it doesn't exist but rather to create a healthy outlet for it and to respond in a way that aligns with your values and your highest self moving on to the second situation when you're tempted to gossip or speak badly about someone it's important to remember that our words have power they can create connection or division healing or harm and when we engage in Gossip we're often contributing to a culture of negativity and judgment that
ultimately hurts everyone involved one way to avoid the temptation to gossip is to practice shifting your focus from what's wrong with others to what's right with them when you find yourself wanting to criticize or complain about someone take a moment to pause and consider their positive qualities or the challenges they might be facing this doesn't mean you have to ignore or excuse hurtful Behavior but rather that you can choose to respond with empathy and compassion rather than judgment and blame another strategy is to ask yourself whether the conversation you're about to have is truly necessary
or helpful is there a constructive purpose to your words or are you simply venting your frustrations or seeking validation from others if you're not sure A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether you would say the same thing if the person you're talking about were in the room with you if the answer is no then it's probably best to keep your thoughts to yourself and if if you do feel the need to address a problem or concern with someone consider doing so directly and respectfully rather than talking behind their back this can be
scary and uncomfortable but it's also an opportunity to build trust understanding and authentic connection when it comes to the third situation being in the presence of someone who is grieving or going through a difficult time it's important to remember that sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is simply to be present and to listen grief and loss can be incredibly isolating experiences and people who are struggling often feel pressure to put on a brave face or to get over it quickly but the reality is that healing takes time and there's no one right way
to move through the process as a supportive presence Your Role is not to fix or advise but rather to create a safe and non-judgmental space for the person to express their feelings and to be witnessed in their pain this can be challenging especially if you're someone who likes to take action or problems but sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to resist the urge to fill the Silence with platitudes or suggestions and instead to Simply sit with the person in their discomfort you might say something like I'm so sorry you're going through this
I can't imagine how painful it must be I'm here to listen if you want to talk or to just sit with you if you prefer whatever you need I'm here and then allow the silence to be there allow the person to take the lead in the conversation or to Simply Be quiet if that's what they need trust that your presence and your willingness to be with them in their pain is a powerful gift in itself of course it's also important to take care of yourself in these situations witnessing someone else's grief can be emotionally taxing
and it's okay to set boundaries and to practice self-care as needed but by showing up with an open heart and a willingness to listen you can create a profound sense of connection and support that can help the person feel less alone in their struggle moving on to the fourth situation when you're in a heated argument or debate it's important to remember that the goal is not to win but to understand and to find a way forward that works for everyone involved when emotions are running high and opinions are clashing it can be tempting to dig
in our heels and to try to prove our point at all costs but this approach rarely leads to a productive or satisfying outcome Instead try to approach the conversation with the spirit of curiosity and openness ask questions to better understand the other person's perspective and listen actively to their responses without interrupting or mentally formulating your rebuttal you might say something like I hear what you're saying and I want to make sure I understand can you tell me more about why this is important to you or ie appreciate you sharing your perspective it's different from mine
but I'm open to learning more what experiences or beliefs have shaped your view on this by showing genuine interest and respect for the other person's point of view you create a space for dialogue and exchange of ideas rather than a battle of wills and when it's your turn to speak focus on expressing your own thoughts and feelings clearly and calmly rather than attacking or blaming the other person use I statements to take ownership of your own experience and avoid you statements that can come across as accusatory or judgmental for example instead of saying you always
do this you're so stubborn and unreasonable try saying I feel frustrated when we have conversations like this I'm having a hard time understanding your perspective and I'm worried that we're not making progress towards a solution by expressing yourself in a way that is honest but also respectful and non-defensive you create an opening for the other person to do this saying and remember it's okay to take a break if the conversation is getting too heated or unproductive you might say something like I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now and I don't think I'm communicating as clearly as
I'd like to can we take a few minutes to cool down and regroup and then come back to this with fresh Eyes by giving yourself and the other person some space to process and recharge you create the conditions for a more thoughtful and constructive Di when you return finally when it comes to the fifth situation being in doubt or unsure of what to say it's important to remember that silence can be a powerful tool for reflection and discernment in a culture that values quick thinking and decisive action it can be tempting to feel like we
always need to have an answer or an opinion at the ready but the reality is that some questions or issues are complex and multifaceted and rushing to judgment can often do more harm than good when you find yourself in a situation where you're not sure what to say or where you feel like you need more information or perspective before weighing in give yourself permission to take a step back and to be silent for a moment you might say something like that's a great question and to be honest I don't have a clear answer right now
I need some time to think it through and to gather more information before I can give you a thoughtful response can I get back to you on this in a day or two by being honest about your uncertainty and your need for more time you show respect for the complexity of the issue and for the importance of speaking with integrity and care and in the meantime use the silence as an opportunity for reflection and discernment consider seeking out diverse perspectives and sources of information and sit with the question or issue in a spirit of openness
and curiosity ask yourself what values or principles are at stake here what impact my different responses or actions have on myself and others what feels most aligned with my deepest beliefs and commitments by taking the time to sit with the question and to listen for the wisdom of your own inner voice you create the space for a response that is thoughtful authentic and in service of the highest good and when you do feel ready to speak let your words be guided by a deep respect for the humanity and dignity of everyone involved speak from a
place of humility and open openness and be willing to continue learning and growing in your understanding because ultimately that's what true wisdom and Leadership is all about it's not about having all the answers or being right all the time but about being willing to engage in the messy complex work of dialogue discernment and growth and it all starts with a simple powerful Act of knowing when to speak and when to stay silent of trusting in the wisdom of our own inner voice and of using our words and our presence to create a world of Greater
understanding compassion and connection so as we come to the end of our exploration of the power of Silence I want to leave you with a few final thoughts and Reflections first and foremost remember that cultivating the habit of intentional silence is a practice not a destination it's something we have to commit to every day in every interaction and every moment of choice there will be times when we slip up when we react instead of respond or when we say things we lat regret but the beauty of this practice is that every moment offers a new
opportunity to begin again to recommit to our highest values and aspirations so be gentle with yourself as you learn and grow celebrate the moments of success and learn from the moments of Challenge and trust that every step you take towards greater self-awareness compassion and intentionality is a step towards a more peaceful and connected World secondly remember that the power of silence is not just about what we say or don't say but about the quality of presence we bring to every interaction when we're truly present with ourselves and others when we're listening deeply and responding with
care and intention we create a space of profound connection and healing we communicate not just with our words but with our energy our body language and our full attention we create a felt sense of safety respect and trust that allows for authentic sharing and growth so as you go forth from this moment I I invite you to bring your full presence to every conversation and every encounter to listen not just with your ears but with your whole being to speak not just with your words but with your heart and your highest intentions and finally remember
that the power of silence is ultimately about creating a world of Greater peace understanding and love when we choose to be silent in moments of anger or judgment we create space for empathy and compassion to arise when we listen deeply to those who are grieving or in pain we offer a healing bomm of presence and care when we approach difficult conversations with curiosity and respect we build bridges of understanding and cooperation and when we take the time for reflection and discernment before speaking we bring more wisdom integrity and care to every word we utter these
are the building blocks of a more just compassionate and sustainable world and they start with each one of us in every every moment of every day so let us go forth for from this place with renewed commitment to the practice of intentional silence and to the cultivation of a more loving and peaceful world let us trust in the wisdom of our own inner voice and in the power of our presence to heal and transform and let us remember that every word we speak every action we take and every moment of silence we choose ripples out
into the world in ways we may never fully know may we use our words and our silence to create a world of Greater understanding compassion and love may we be the change we wish to see and may we always strive to communicate with wisdom care and respect thank you for being here for listening with an open heart and mind and for your willingness to embrace the power of silence and service of a more beautiful world I believe in you I'm grateful for you and I'm excited to see how you'll use these teachings to create more
peace more connection and more love in your own life and in the lives of those around you so go forth with courage with compassion and with a quiet confidence that comes from knowing that your presence and your words have the power to change lives and to change the world may you always find the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent and may you use that wisdom to create a life in a world of profound Beauty meaning and love
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