5 Common Habits That Make People Instantly Dislike You

a few recent brie Larson interviews have caught the attention of Marvel fans people have asked if the cast doesn't get along with brie and even as an audience member it's tough to sit through some of these interviews without cringing so today I want to talk about what you can learn from these situations and how to prevent yourself from doing specific behavior patterns that can make people dislike you without you intending or even realizing it and I want to make this clear there are interviews that I can show you where brie is extremely likable you're gonna

see a few clips of them in this video I'm addressing these two more recent interviews because they're topical and because they provide great insight into charisma mistakes that I see many people make the first issue that you want to avoid is reading negative intent in an ambiguous situation Brie's wired interview has this repeatedly go to college no good brie Larson workout like hypothetically would I at some point is that like a personal attack or something is that a request do you think I should yeah I work out a lot thanks for asking we'll come back

to this idea of interpreting negative intent because it is possible that she wasn't doing that at all and was actually aiming for sarcasm in these situations the problem is that sarcasm requires a tell you must go over the top either in your word choice body language or tone or people will not recognize sarcasm where you might have intended it without that breeze defensiveness appears sincere left-handed why do you need to know can Captain Marvel beat Superman I can't believe you even have to google that duh I mean why to be clear you can add sarcasm

to this type of a joke for instance all brie Plaza gives similar responses in her wired interview but people responded much better and it's because she's communicating that she doesn't mean what she says in this case by narrowing her eyes and changing her tone slightly does Aubree Plaza have a sister I have two sisters oh that's none of your business that's my family since it is so subtle this level of sarcasm will be missed by many people and I know that British people are going to hate this recommendation but at least in America ague rule

of thumb is that when you are being tongue-in-cheek do not be flat in your delivery especially if a literal interpretation of what you're saying would make you sound like a jerk go over the top and changing your tone your gestures or your facial expressions this helps people distinguish between normal conversation and a character that you are playing for the purpose of joke this next clip is a great example of Bree playing like she's upset while making it clear that that isn't truly how she feels she's not really offended now watch for the change in her

voice tone and her over-the-top gesticulation that's a problem well I feel inferior but it's okay go for it look at it first of all I have nothing but back to the first point it is possible the Bree might be sincere in her frustration with these questions now obviously we can't read minds but there is no absurdity no smile to release the tension just flat statements as if she is interpreting what she was being asked as an attack is that like a personal attack or something regardless of what was happening in Brees head in your own

life you would benefit tremendously from reading positive intent into ambiguous situations like these in fact even when people are undeniably being rude to you reading positive intent can be an excellent way to gain control of the situation it's part of what made Russell Brand's so admirable in his MSNBC interview from several years ago that entire interaction deserves a breakdown on its own but just watch here we're the host takes aim at Russell's accent he could get flustered in response but instead he assumes positive intent and cracks back a friendly joke satellite radio in the car

I can't understand a single joke because you can't understand it yes but I'm telling when I'm driving the car and he's not everyone's laughing in the audience of the radio I'm like I have no idea what he's best you focus on your driving your mind you don't want to be distracted by humor you might be crashing Pradesh that's a good thing I think it's probably for the best jokes like these that interpret positive intent can go a long way to winning the person over who is being rude to you though it didn't actually work in

this particular situation and if you like a breakdown of this entire interaction just let us know in the comments just you guys know due to your overwhelming response we are working now on a video that covers attachment theory but moving along with this video to the third point you should not jump on every opportunity to call praise or attention to yourself now in this next clip chris hemsworth is talking up his stunt double and he's putting himself down to do it this is a nice common move for somebody who is kind of on top and

in this case Hemsworth is clearly athletic and powerful and famous so it's kind of him to take that trainer and put him above him even if it means denigrating himself to do it to just gets injured you know he does all the odds talking back to me look cool and then you know I've told you if you're in a situation like this sitting next to someone who has just done this it's a great opportunity to further spread the praise in this case you might want to spread it to other stunt doubles to the visual effects

team from making the impossible appear real or just your cast mates in general it is perhaps the worst opportunity to insist on your own specialness because it contrasts so starkly with Chris's humility and it also puts him on the defensive since he was putting himself down and now we're taking that seriously unfortunately that is the route that Bri went again this is another situation where voice tone matters massively if Bri had said something like wait a second you guys got stunt doubles I thought we were supposed to do all that crazy stuff by herself people

probably would have just laughed at that but without anything over-the-top without playing a character she appears sincere in her attempt to call positive attention to herself and it doesn't play well and now defensive Chris pokes her back doubting that she does her own stunts and he mentions Tom Cruise as a contrast I did my stunts because I thought that that's everyone did no cruise oven and again rather than taking this opportunity to praise Tom Cruise's legendary status in the industry as one of the a-listers who truly does his own stunts and put his self on

the line Bree insists on distinguishing herself further if you're in a situation like this the charismatic move the confident move is to spread the praise don't worry so much if you are getting yours when you give it freely it comes back to you freely watch Chris Pratt illustrate this point perfectly the Avengers cast are asked who the most charming chris is look at how he handles it was the most charming dress it is exactly his own willingness to race somebody else up that is what makes other people vote for him in droves this all takes

us to the fourth point of the video which is you should not try to win each moment of banter this makes it harder to feel comfortable joking with you because things always become competitive take as an example when Bri says that she's the strongest character in the movie which though dry could be considered a playful jab at her co-stars Chris predictably jabs back and the high-pitched voice is an indication that he's being playful as are the extreme hit moments and eventually he gets a laugh from the people around him between the different it's just a

fact it's not a personal opinion it's not a reflection on what you can't do but it is also kind of reflecting my mother is now with that laughs Chris has quote-unquote won this round of banter but in order to let briefs say face he adds that her character is really smart Bri shakes her head no fidgets with her earring and then when chris says that we should have a fight she doesn't interpret it positively or playfully she seems to feel as if she is being laughed at so rather than saying oh my god we should

totally have a fight in the next Avengers or making some other joke she says that she feels like she's been fighting with him all day and you get the sense that she's being honest so we have a fought if she can I sit at is a real representation of her feelings she probably does feel like these exchanges are fights and that can be exhausting if you have ever felt like this here is a way out sometimes it is better to stop fighting don't try to win every laughs from the audience instead go with the joke

even if it feels like you are the butt of that joke and then amplify it by not taking this kind of insulting joke seriously you diffused its power and you turn the crowd from laughing at you to laughing with you here is Bri doing it in another interview with Craig Ferguson when he teases her name I get confused all the time I walk into rooms people like oh and here's another example of Chris Pratt taking one on the chin in good spirit is Chris Pratt the worst Chris it should just be this this is all

much easier if you interpret positive intent per the first point so now the last thing that I want to touch on is how to handle a compliment you should avoid responding to compliments with banter that are put-downs in nature even if you're joking like this I'm still stronger than you go instead you can give us in Sears thank you emphasize perhaps with sustained eye contact or a touch I like you bejeweled epaulets by the way that's very nice it's like you're a sort of commander of fabulous alternatively you can spin it back around to the

other person and playfully find a way to give them back an even bigger compliment well I think you should take a lot of it I'm Q fee yeah and I had respected joiner and he said you should too so trying to say trying to have credit okay either way whatever you do do not punish people when they give you compliments otherwise they will not be so forthcoming when in doubt a sincere thank you and a smile or just a return a compliment will take you much farther so I hope that you guys enjoy this video

if you are a fan of the channel you may want to check out our course charisma University in my opinion in his hands down the best thing that I have ever created when it comes to developing your own charisma covers everything from making a great first impression to magnetic body language deep confidence and of course doing it all consistently which as you saw in this video doesn't always come naturally to many of us so if you want to learn more go ahead click the button on screen now or the link in the description either way

I hope that you enjoy the video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one [Music]