How to challenge your negative self-talk | Josh Green | TEDxSurrey

[Music] [Applause] hello everyone this probably just looks like regular old juggling to you and that's because it is but it's in dropping the ball that I made such a profound Discovery during what I thought was one of the worst and most embarrassing moments of my life you see when I was little I wanted nothing more than to be an actor when I grew up because the weight of the world hadn't yet crushed my spirit I hadn't heard no enough hadn't heard that I was too small too short too fat too stupid hadn't heard that I

was not smart enough or not fast enough or simply not good enough and because I hadn't heard some of this until much later in my life I started the journey joury of getting myself an agent it was actually through that process that I started to hear some of those more negative comments you're not ready you're not the right look you're just not good enough and I started to internalize this unfortunately so I had to start in the safest place I got myself a background agent which required nothing more of me than to stand still in

the background kind of like the child that plays the tree in the school play just happy to be on the team one day though my agent did call me with my very first audition no more tree for me she calls me and she says hey you can juggle right to which I respond yes of course great your audition's tomorrow 9:00 a.m. sharp toodles my agent loved to say toodles now I'd like to make something abundantly clear at that point in my life I didn't know how to juggle like at all so I did what anyone

would do in a situation like that I call my friend Adam who does I show up at his house at 5:00 p.m. at night and he starts me off with scarves slow moving juggling scarves so my body has time to figure out what it's doing then he upgrades me to my first ball then two and finally three and by the end of the night I'm able to juggle for about 5 Seconds it doesn't look pretty and I make a lot of strange focused faces as I'm doing it but you can technically call it juggling the

next day I show up at the audition on time and it is packed with professional jugglers clowns and magicians all who are nonchalantly carrying on full conversations with juggling six balls at the same time they're bouncing them off the walls they're so good and I'm just in awe staring at my borrow juggling balls and income these voices you are not not good enough you don't belong here all I want to do in this moment is disappear and make sure I don't embarrass myself or my agent so badly that I'm never able to work in this

town again but I take a deep breath remember that I have a whole 5 Seconds of juggling under my belt and I sit down and then I hear it Josh Josh Green you're up on the inside such Grace and confidence on the outside even though clearly sweating through my shirt I walk into the audition room introduce myself to the casting directors and wait for them to call Action I start juggling I've got my struggle face on I'm biting my tongue in Fierce concentration and I'm moving all over the place I'm about to reach my 5-second

juggling limit and they they haven't stopped me yet why haven't they stopped me then it happens I drop the ball at this point my face couldn't look sillier I'm staring at them they're staring at me I don't know what to do so I just pick the ball up and continue juggling as if nothing ever happened trying to smile through my struggle face they stopped me immediately that's thank you that's enough next o and income those voices again I told you you weren't good enough you blew it the next day my agent calls me asking me

how I thought it went I tell her that I gave it my best shot and we'll get him next time then I thought she was going to give me a little bit of feedback but instead she says you nailed it you got the part wait what so she emails me the script with the name of my character at the top of the page and in bold letters it says stupid [Applause] Jester in sharing this story with you you got a really good look of what was going on for me externally but I'd love to dig

into the discoveries I made internally to help me navigate some of those really negative voices the first one those voices they're not your voices no child is born thinking they're not enough the voices we hang on to tend to come from a select few people in our lives a teacher a parent a bully a partner they start on the outside and they slowly move inside but they're not our voices they're somebody else's and we don't have to listen to them and guess what the casting directors have those voices too they were given so much information

from so many people just saying they needed somebody who could juggle they also have superiors so they're wondering am I doing a good job am I getting the right person the person interviewing you probably feels this way your date might feel that way as well no one really knows exactly what they're looking for which is why Steve Jobs so famously said nobody knows what they want until you give it to them which is why after a long day of amazing jugglers all pretty much doing the exact same thing being amazing I walked in looked like

an idiot to which they responded oh my gosh this guy's perfect another Discovery I made was practice I did not just show up to my first audition overcome my negative thoughts and Bam I lived happily ever after no no no no no I practiced I started safe and small I started as a background performer all I had to do was walk around in the background and make it look so uninteresting that it didn't draw anyone's attention what's the safest place that you could start what's your version of background performer because once you start it builds

momentum that can't be stopped but you do have to start you also have to show up I had so many chances to turn down my juggling opportunity I could have told my agent that I didn't know how I could have just not gone to the audition and I could have just left when I saw all the amazingly talented jugglers that were there but I stayed in spite of the voices that said I wasn't good enough and I showed up because I could have been exactly what they were looking for and I was had I not

gone though the show would have gone on without me they would have cast another juggler into the role and I'm sure it would have been fine but that means somebody else would be living my life right now ask yourselves how many people are living your best life right now CU you turned down an opport so say yes to Opportunities show up you probably also notice that I didn't do this by myself though I didn't know how to juggle I did know someone who did surrounding myself with extremely talented people who know more than me and

think highly of me has always been so helpful at helping me expand my horizons or in this particular instance growing me out of a pinch think of all the people you have in your life and what they could show you if you just called them and said heyy can you teach me how to play guitar or how to swim or I don't know whatever a project manager does I don't know one of the most painful discoveries I made during all this was that it's not all rainbows and sunshine there is a harsh truth that I

had to get through books and movies tend to skip over these parts but the truth is I was a background performer for over 2 years before I even got my first audition the voices were very loud back then extremely cemented and internalized after that I only landed one in every 30 auditions one in every 50 jokes got a laugh while I was on stage and I failed more businesses than I care to remember this is why it's so important to start Safe Keep practicing continue to show up and have the support of others because all

of these proactive actions over time help to silence those negative voices it pushes them further away and it all leads to a much more fulfilling life saying yes to acting led to a wonderful and fulfilling acting career saying yes also led to a comedy career that allows me to travel the country it allowed me to be on the bottom of the ocean on just one breath for over two minutes it allowed me to save a human life that was pretty cool and to doing my very first tedex all of this because I embrace the moments

when those voices arise so look I know that the Unseen life is a scary life so we tend to stick to what's safe because it keeps those voices quiet when I took on 5 hours of juggling to do my first audition I kept hearing no way you're going to be good enough but rather than shy away from that I amra Ed the part of me that felt like I couldn't do it and said why wouldn't I be good enough I practiced I showed up and I took my place and I encourage you to do the

same because when you hear that voice that says you're not good enough that just means you're doing something right it means you're embracing The Human Experience and pushing yourself just beyond your Edge so let's be honest dropping the ball does not sound like a good idea but it's one of the best things that ever happened to me me so the next time opportunity comes your way and you hear that voice saying you're not good enough don't drop the ball I encourage you to do the exact opposite thank you [Applause] [Music] w