Paul McKenna Official | Best Tips for Improving Your Life Compilation

here's an excellent technique to help you reduce emotional overwhelm and upset it's called the havening technique as in a safe haven and was developed by my dear friend Dr Ronald Ruden patterns of repeated Touch of parts of the body combined with visualizations can have a rapid reliable and predictable effect Upon Our feelings the patterns of touch using havening are will enable a mother to comfort her baby and a hard one ired into all of us havening combines these deep rooted patterns of reassurance with sequences to break down the associations that trigger unhappy or uncomfortable feelings

now as a result in a matter of minutes we can now reduce the intensity of an emotional feeling of unhappiness and establish calm in addition certain brain waves are associated with different functions in our lives beta waves are associated with being alert and being anxious Alpha Waves represent a state of relaxed alertness one wave though is synonymous with deep relaxation the Holy Grail we're all after in terms of therapy and healing and that is the Delta wave you get delta waves when you're deeply asleep deeply relaxed or when you're doing havening delta waves help to

reconfigure traumatic or upsetting feelings so that when you think about that upsetting thing you flood your brain with delta waves and the havening sequence reverses the effect biologically on the brain so let's do the havening technique now what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to put your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder close your eyes and get in touch with the overwhelming feeling the feeling of upset whatever it is begin stroking the side of your arms from the top of your shoulder down to your

elbow and keep doing this process if it's safe to do so close your eyes and when you've got that feeling as strong as it can be CLE your mind clear your mind completely and imagine you're walking with me on a beach and with each foot step that you're taking the sand count out L from 1 to 20 with me please 1 2 3 4 keep stroking the side of your arms five 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 still stroking the side of your arms I'd like you

to remember a time you felt really good really happy time and return to it now like you're back there again see what you saw hear what you heard and feel how good you felt still stroking the side of your arms make the colors rich and bright and bold and sounds loud and notice how good you feel and notice where you feel the Good Feeling strongest in your body and give those feelings of color any color you like and move that color up through your body into your neck and head move that color down through your

shoulders into your arms and hands and fingers move it down through your chest into your stomach and legs until you're bathed in this lovely color and then I'd like you to imagine you're walking in a garden with each each foot step that you take in the grass still stroking the side of your arms count out loud from 1 to 20 please 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 now stop stroking the side of your arms keep your eyes closed and put your arms

out in front of you with your palms facing up and I'd like you to put any of that uncomfortable feeling in one of your hands please any that's left and in the other hand I'd like you to put peace calm comfort and then I'd like you to move your attention above your head so you're thinking from a few inches above your head that's it and then I'd like you to experience those two emotional states down there at the same time so the uncomfortable feeling and the peace the uncomfortable feeling of the calm the uncomfortable feeling

and the comfort and let that uncomfortable feeling reintegrate into the ecosystem of your emotions when you're ready open your eyes come on backck out feeling much better this technique is about programming your mind to have an even happier life so what I'd like you to do is if it's safe close your eyes and relax and I'd like you to imagine traveling out into the future that's it way into the future right out near to the end of your life near the end not the end but near and I'd like you to imagine that you've had

the most wonderful life it's been amazing it's been fantastic if that's true what was it that made your life so amazing so fantastic so enjoyable so so incredible was it the people was it things you did was it things you didn't do or stopped doing was it things you achieved achieved really take a few moments to get deeply in touch with what it is that's made your life so amazing so fantastic and so wonderful and then take those insights with you and come all the way back to here and now all the way back to

this moment and open your eyes and come on back out so going forward maybe you'll make different decisions change some choices but look forward to an amazing life I'd like to share with you a brilliant technique for reducing anxiety TFT that's Thought Field Therapy it looks a bit unusual but many scientific studies show that it's amazingly effective at reducing stress anxiety trauma compulsion and even panic attacks it was created by my late friend Dr Roger Callahan his breakthrough brings together a modern scientific approach and the ancient understanding of The Originators of acupuncture people initially dismissed

his incredible breakthrough which was a radical departure from traditional psychological treatments as a distraction or nonsense or even a placebo yet he had an excellent comeback to this he said can't be a placebo as a placebo only works when you're convinced that it's going to you take the pillars you think it's going to heal you and it's your belief that it does but no with this it's quite the opposite people very often don't believe that tapping on a particular part of their body is going to create such a dramatic change so I'd like to share

with you this technique now if you're feeling anxious I'd like you to rate your anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10 now copy me take two fingers and tap just below your eye about 10 times and then tap here by your collar B then tap under your eye again and tap your collone next I'd like you to tap on the back of your hand here that's it by your ring finger [Music] and I'd like you to close your eyes and open your eyes keep your head still and look down to the right down to

the left keep tapping on the back of your hand now rotate your eyes in a full 360 around and then rotate in the opposite direction next we're going to hum and we're going to count and we're going to hum hum the bars of a tune with me now we're going to go right brain and then count out loud left brain 1 2 3 4 5 and then hum again please great now tap under your eye again tap your collar bone tap under your Ion and once again tap on the back of your hand and keep

tapping as you close your eyes and open your eyes keep your head still look down to the right down to the left rotate your eyes around full 360 and rotate in the opposite direction now still tapping on your hand hum with me and then count out loud from 1 to five please 1 2 3 4 5 Hune tap under your eye tap your collarbone tap under the eye again tap your collarbone then tap on the back of your hand here and stop and now notice how much the anxiety is reduced on a scale of 1

to 10 at school we're taught what to think but we're not taught how to think and how to think is really important because it it influences how we feel and how we behave and ultimately the results we get in the world so let's just try a simple technique and this is about how to think I'd like you to think of a mildly uncomfortable experience um maybe a disappointment or an argument or something like that and remember it now and if it's safe to do so close your eyes as you remember it and I'd like you

to do this I'd like you to float out of yourself so you can see the back of your head and you can see that situation as you move it further and further away from you and as you move it further and further away drain all the color out so it becomes black and white that's right and then shrink it down so it gets smaller and smaller and smaller and disappears next I'd like you to remember a time you felt really good maybe you were laughing with friends relaxing on vacation and You' fallen in love or

you'd achieved something but something that makes you feel good when you remember it and return to that memory like you're back there again now you're inside the memory see what you saw hear what you heard and feel how you felt make the colors Rich bright and bold make the sounds loud and crisp and make the feeling strong I've noticed where those feelings those good feelings the strongest in your body and give them a color any color you like and move that color up through your neck into your head down through your shoulders into your arms

and hands and fingers imagine moving that color down through your chest into your legs so the tips of your toes and double the brightness and double it again until you're glowing with this good feeling and imagine having this Good Feeling with you for the rest of the day and then when you're ready open your eyes and come on back out so what we did was a simple process we stepped out of the bad memory we disassociated and we stepped into the happy memory and we brightened it up because generally images that we are outside of

and are dull and dim have less emotional intensity than those that we are inside and are bright and colorful and loud and feel good so step out of the bad times and step into the good whenever you catch yourself today having a memory about something that was upsetting step out of it make it black and white and shrink it and send it away and immediately step into a happy time and make yourself feel good train your brain to step out of bad times and step into the good you may have heard of the 8020 rule

Wilfred peretto and 19 century Economist found that 80% of the peas he harvested came from 20% of the pods so he wondered if this rule applied in other places now it turns out that 20% of your carpet is walked on 80% of the time 80% of the things that a computer does is done by 20% of the software 80% of cost of crime is down to 20% of the criminals 80% of the money you make comes from 20% of your efforts also 80% of the problem stress and worry comes from 20% % of the people

you know or situations and environments in your life so maybe spend less time there also 80% of the fun the joy and the laughter and all the wonderful feelings that you can experience come from 20% of the people you know and situations and environments in your life so maybe it's a good idea to spend more time with now by the way sometimes this can be 7030 or 9010 but generally it's 8020 so just do a stock take now who do I have most fun around and who do I have least fun around and spend less

time with the people who have least run around who stress you wind you up annoy you and more time around those people who make you feel good who uplift you do that stock take now this next technique is something I call hindsight ahead of time it's where we get a glimpse into our future and any adjustments that we'd like to make to our life based on that so if it's safe to do so close your eyes please and I'd like you to imagine traveling further and further into the future right out into the future to

near the end of your life not the end but near the end and I'd like you to look back on your life and ask yourself what do you wish you'd done more of and what do you wish you've done less of that's right let your mind your unconscious mind learn from this perspective exercise this thought experiment and then take your insights with you and come all the way back to this moment Here and Now with your insights open your eyes come on back out a lot of people think that resilience is just about toughing it

out get knocked down seven times you get back up eight and indeed resilience is partly about that but it's also about adaptability the law of requisite variety states that the part of a system that has the greatest flexibility always ends up in control of the system be it a family a political party or a corporation so when you can adapt more and more to your everchanging environment you become master of your own destiny so let's do a technique now shall we I'd like you to think of your top three problems take a moment to do

that and then pick one and what we're going to do are a series of techniques to help you think differently feel differently around your problem hey look you might even solve it but the main thing is is to begin to look at it in a different way feel differently about it to give you more options more creativity around this problem so first of all I'm going to ask you some questions about this problem the first question is what are three positive things about this problem now sometimes when I say that people go there is nothing

positive about this problem hang on a minute one positive thing is at least you know what the problem is another is that I'm helping you with it right now yeah think of something else what's one thing that could be a positive about this problem now next what are you willing to do to transform this situation to overcome this problem what are you willing to stop doing or either not do to transform this problem How Could You motivate yourself to transform or overcome this problem what's one thing you can do today to begin that transformation process

now next if it's safe to do so close your eyes and I'd like you to think about imagine somebody who you know who's good at solving this kind of problem you don't have to know them personally they could be a famous person or it could indeed be your auntie gladus or maybe a character from history but somebody who's great at solving this kind of problem and I'd like you to imagine that they're standing in front of you right now next I'd like you to imagine stepping in to them see the world through their eyes hear

their internal dialogue and feel how they feel and from this perspective look at your problem [Music] notice it from this perspective next I'd like you to step back out bringing all the insights that you have with you and now imagine a nine square grid three squares at the top three in the middle and three in the bottom keep the bottom middle Square blank for now but in the top three squares I'd like you to put pictures of things that make you feel good people who you love and that love you happy maybe happy times or

places that you go that make you feel good fill those top three squares with Feelgood pictures fill the middle three squares also with pictures that make you feel good something you achieved again people you love things that make you feel uplifted next I'd like you to F to fill the the bottom two either side left and right again with positive images things that uplift you and make you feel good people you love things you've achieved places you like to go anything that makes you feel real good and then in the bottom middle Square put your

problem but only look at it in the context of all of the other eight squares that make you feel good and see your problem in this new context now I'd like you to imagine floating out into the future to a time when you've solved this problem you don't have to consciously know right now how you did it but a time when it's solved and you feel differently about your problem maybe you'll know how it is you solved it or what needed to take place or what happened or maybe you'll just have a sense of it

and then when you're ready come back to this moment now open your eyes and think about your problem and notice how differently you think about it and feel about it now here is a great technique for overcoming self- sabotage you know when you say to yourself pardon me wants to go to the cinema but pardon me can't be bothered it's not as though there are two people inside your head these are two aspects of self and it's the same with self- sabotage part of me wants to lose weight but part of me just thinks I'm

going to fail and so I might as well just do it now part of me' like to be in a relationship but part of me scared of getting hurt part of me would really like to succeed and achieve in life but another part me worries I won't be a to handle it so when you have two aspects of self that are in Conflict one sabotages the other this technique we're about to do is deceptively simple it's developed by my dear friend Dr Richard bandler and I have seen people make astounding changes and this takes just

a few minutes so when you're ready place your hands out in front of you with your palms facing up and if it's safe to do so close your eyes and I'd like you to get in touch with that part of you that wants to succeed or achieve at something and put it in one of your hands get a sense of it that's right and now in the other hand I'd like you to put the part of you that stops you or sabotages you holds you back get in touch with that now bring your hands together

so one hand is on top of the other and just let them sit there and let your unconscious mind figure out out how both these parts of you can achieve their positive intention and at the same time you can achieve what it is you want without holding yourself back or sabotaging yourself that's right let the unconscious mind make billions of computations at the unconscious level you'll feel some changes and things happening as these two parts work out how it is they're going to work together to help you achieve what it is you want and then

after a few moments there'll be like a a click or a a feeling that it's possible it's possible they can work together and when you get that feeling that it's possible gently bring your hands towards your chest and integrate this new super part into you and as you integrate it notice what will you see here and feel as you achieve what it is you want to with without self-sabotage what will you see what will the world look like what will you hear how will your internal dialogue be and how good will you feel achieving what

you want having what you want without holding yourself back feel that now what will you see hear and feel get a real sense of it let it integrate into your unconscious mind your experience and your behavior and then when you're ready just relax your hands and open your R and come on back out and don't be too surprised at how well this works and the amazing changes that are going to happen