You Have No Idea Who You Are

so what tends to happen is sometimes when we lose sight of ourselves we try to hold on to the echoes of who we used to be what comes from inside so a lot of like motivation desire excitement these are the kinds of things that come from the inside you can't really like logic your way to being fulfilled right like you can't just like logic your way to like being motivated right so like maybe in your teenage years you were excited about stuff and you were like oh it'd be cool to do this or cool to

do this you know now with the pandemic if you're a teenager now that can actually be really challenging because it's hard to be excited the problem here is that once you lose sight of your internal voice and we'll talk a little bit about what that is and where that comes from the best that we have is intellect to guide us [Music] okay the image of the person i thought i am got destroyed and now i feel dead inside hi the story is long but maybe it's is not all needed to give you the answer so

i'll keep it short i'm over 30 now i was or i thought i am the person i know and like for over 20 years and then something happened it destroyed the image i had of myself i was not sure who i am at this moment i didn't know what to do and i think i i slowly was going closer to do what the person i knew before would do and then something happened again that stabbed that image again i feel dead inside i think i don't feel it every day though i even thought i'm okay

i thought i'm okay to this point and and that i was thinking about being a recovery coach because i went through some stuff and and i'm okay now today i started thinking that what i would say if i told dr k all my story i got to some point i started thinking about it i realized i'm not okay how can i help someone if i'm not okay i miss the person if i was and if i'm not that person i feel dead inside because it is like that person i thought i am is dead i'm

scared to try to be me i knew again because i tried twice and all it did was to hurt me again i feel like i don't know if the person i thought i was was even real i don't know who i am now nothing matters but i don't want to kill myself because i don't even know who is that myself life goes on and i pretend even to be myself that everything is okay until the moment like this happens when i realize how i feel what do you think about it what would you suggest for

first time people welcome so i know that um this post can sound a little bit confusing but let's start by trying to understand a little bit about what this person is experiencing so oftentimes what can be challenging for us is that we have a sense of who we are and the sense of self kind of hopefully develops like early on during adolescence or teenage years then we for many of us we kind of feel pretty good when we're 20. and then our 20s are actually characterized by some sense of like loss or some sense of

losing sight of who you are some sense of the world kind of kicking in and sort of like because because things in when you're a teenager can be sort of bright and fun and then when your 20s sort of roll in you can sort of lose sight of that bright hopeful person you used to be and then what ends up happening is we sort of try to hold on to that person right so like that person used to be like excited to do things they used to be excited about the future the world was filled

with opportunity and so then what happens is we start to like things can happen if we kind of pay attention to this post it sounds like this person had a couple of setbacks and then we when we have setbacks we sort of lose sight of our positive self and then we're kind of left with this vacuum of like not being internally motivated because like that person feels like they're gone and all of my motivation came from that person and then we run into a separate problem which is that like once we lose track of kind

of our inner self right that inner kind of guiding force then what we try to do is we try to figure out okay how am i supposed to navigate now like if i don't know kind of who i am or where i am or or what i should be moving towards how do i figure out like where to go if i don't feel naturally excited about anything and then what we do is we cling to our image of former self well that person back when they were 20 years old would have done this that person

would have done this and that person would have done this so we try to like hold on to the memory of who we were the funny thing is that as we hold on to the memory of who we were it kind of starts to feel like life is very like artificial because there's no actual internal drive anymore right it's sort of like i want you all to just kind of think about a really simple analogy which is let's say that i'm really really craving to eat a particular kind of food and i remember that craving

that craving is super super strong and i really really want to eat that food and then as i start to eat it i start to get satisfied and then the craving kind of goes down and then my desire to eat doesn't really like isn't there anymore right because in this situation it's been satisfied but then what sort of happens is that if i continue holding on to that relic of what i wanted before and i think to myself oh like this food made me happy before so let me eat it again let me eat it

again let me eat it again it's not going to bring you the same kind of joy so what tends to happen is sometimes when we lose sight of ourselves we try to hold on to the echoes of who we used to be and in holding on to the person that we used to be we actually end up getting ourselves stuck right because that's not who we are anymore and yet we're kind of stuck between this rock and a hard place because i don't really know who i am so how do i move forward because that

internal voice isn't there anymore but the best i've got right because that's like the best you've got is like the memory of who you used to be and so then you start to chase after that kind of thing and yet like even if you try to chase after it that internal motivation isn't there so you can start to chase after it but your actual productivity your actual enjoyment your actual ability to tolerate difficult circumstances without that internal drive all of that becomes more difficult and so then what happens is even if we're chasing after the

echo of who we used to be our productivity our performance our yield from our efforts tends to be very very low and that in turn causes us to lose more motivation right because now i'm like trying and i'm trying i tried this i tried this i tried this it's not working it's not working it's not where i want to be it's not where i thought i would be it's not where where i wish i was and then we sort of get like kind of like lost and then we kind of feel stuck and we don't

really feel like doing anything so how do we sort of get out of this situation of kind of feeling dead inside and furthermore once i feel dead inside choosing what to do based on the echo of who i used to be right because like all i remember what i used to like so maybe i'll just kind of try to do that again because that seemed to work at some point right so the real solution to this is to discover who you are now and that's kind of easier said than done but we'll kind of walk

you through how to do that because the problem here is that once you lose sight of your internal voice and we'll talk a little bit about what that is and where that comes from the best that we have is intellect to guide us the problem is that intellect is not like something that gives you fulfillment right intellect can analyze but it can't provide enjoyment our mind may be able to give us like some amount of pleasure through dopamine but it can't provide us with like life satisfaction so then what starts to happen is we start

to live a very surface level life and the more we drown ourselves in a surface level life the further we get away from our kind of deeper self our true self whatever that part of ourselves that brings fulfillment and then we kind of get stuck in this situation where we're not really sure what to do we don't have an internal compass but all we know is which way the compass used to be pointing so we go in that direction and hope that things will work out so how can we understand how to overcome this situation

okay let's break it down so okay let's take a look at this so if you are dead inside nope work no hold on hold on tech support okay good all right so let's map out this problem so i'm if you feel dead inside so let's first understand what that means dead inside how does someone be dead on the inside okay so there's some psychiatric issues so for example there's something called the cotard delusion which you know hopefully this person doesn't have and we have really no way of knowing that it doesn't sound like it so

cotard delusion just interesting factoid so the cotard delusion is a particular kind of delusional syndrome where you believe a part of your body or organ is like dead so i'll feel like oh like my stomach is actually dead or like my arm is dead like it's like dead flesh it's kind of weird it's sort of a misinterpretation by your brain of proprioception exceedingly rare so this is like misinterpretation of like internal bodily signals okay so when we say dead inside the first thing to understand there is a little bit of a differential diagnosis here we're

not diagnosing anything by the way but um so sometimes there are like conditions that will make you feel like literally dead inside but most of the time what we sort of mean is that there's sort of this inner self that we lose track of so if you think about like what comes from inside so a lot of like motivation desire excitement these are the kinds of things that come from the inside okay and when we kind of talk a little bit about inside let's let's try to think a little bit about what are the different

realms of self okay so in our core if you ask the yogis there's something called turiya and so thuria is our innermost being and durya has some of these qualities of it's also kind of the thuria technically in sanskrit means fourth state or other state so this is kind of a state of consciousness that is beyond the other states of consciousness so they sort of meant is that you know we've got durya over here and then we've got sort of this area over here where purpose fulfillment inspiration comes from like a deeper part of our

mind and then above that we have sort of our surface level mind and in the surface level mind we get things like dopamine or dopaminergic stuff pleasure enjoyment emotions right sadness thoughts so this is kind of our surface level of mind so when people say i feel dead in the inside what i oftentimes find that these people are experiencing is they're stuck up here in this area of mind so their experience of life is highly mental as opposed to like below the mind is like inspiration fulfillment you can't really like logic your way to being

fulfilled right like you can't just like logic your way to like being motivated you can't kind of think your way to being motivated sure you can do mental work that will help you with your motivation sure but generally speaking they're kind of stuck on this this surface mental level so their lives are kind of you know dictated by dopamine the chasing of dopamine so that we can get away from the other negative thoughts right so at this surface level of mind they're doing their level best to be at this end instead of this end so

this is like the positive end this is the negative end but the whole point is that they stay over here and they lose track of the inner self okay and so then what happens is once we lose track of the inner self and this sort of happens as we kind of develop right so as we're kids we're closer to these parts and and theoretically even have some access to thuria so this is a state that can be attained from sort of advanced meditation and things like that so then what happens is we lose track so

like our inner desi like our inner drives come from a deeper level of mind right so like maybe in your teenage years you were excited about stuff and you were like oh it'd be cool to do this or cool to do this you know now with the pandemic if you're a teenager now that can actually be really challenging because it's hard to be excited and then when you lose track of your drives then what happens is you hold on to the memory of your drives and then you try to get motivated towards old drives and

this this sort of is a problem because what this actually ends up doing is making you stuck because you're a different person now right like you're not the same person you weren't 10 years ago you've grown you've changed you've maybe become more despairing like growth doesn't necessarily have to be positive in you know in all of its emotional valence right so you like a different person if you just try to repeat the old thing over and over again what that's going to do is end up making you stuck so instead what we've got to do

is is if we've gotten stuck up here right and we've sort of lost track of our inner voice what we need to do is essentially learn how to move further down this way right so we need to move beyond the mind sort of to the level of drive and then ideally even find some experience of thuria and if we can do that then like the cool thing is we'll find that natural motivation again okay so the main thing here the tricky thing is like how do we lose track of this and i think what we've

learned how to do or we've what we've forgotten how to do as a society is listen to ourselves so the core thing that we have to do to get down here is listen to our self now let's think a little bit about why we have forgotten as a society to listen to ourselves the first is that sometimes down here we have unpleasant stuff so when we have unpleasant stuff down here what does the mind want to do it wants to go back up here and now the problem nowadays is that going back up here has

become way too easy so it used to be that like the amount of like dopamine you could get 500 years ago was like limited right so like let's say i'm a farmer in like europe and it turns out that like i can only distract myself kind of so much like maybe i was the village drunk so like that's a good example of people who were like really really you know good at distracting themselves but there just wasn't that much fun stuff to do there may be like a festival or you may be able to like

play you know a sport or something like that but generally speaking like you couldn't automatically return to a positive dopaminergic state of mind whereas nowadays with all of our technology it becomes really really easy to forget to listen to yourself right so like and think about it this way if i'm like playing a video game for eight hours think about all of the internal signals that i'm suppressing when i do that right when i binge watch a tv show or spend hours just like binge watching like chain watching crap on social media or switch from

youtube to reddit and then do some instagram and then do a little bit of tick tock and like you know like doom scrolling right like we can just doom scroll for hours and the other thing that happens when we do scroll is we're also moving over here from the negative to the positive the funny thing is that even doom scrolling can sometimes create negative emotions so sometimes we're actually doomed scrolling goes this way right this is when i'm looking at pictures of my ex or reading about how everything in the world is going to hell

i actually engage my negative emotional mind so why does our mind do it if if it's sort of negative emotion and that's because it's moving away from the internal self so the mind just loves to be occupied the mind sort of doesn't care whether it's like it's lost in sadness or like lost in happiness what it wants to do is be lost in an emotion and like forget about the internal self the mind loves that okay so then then we sort of get into the situation where it's like it's so easy to move away from

ourselves and so now what we have to do unfortunately is like getting in touch with yourself is now becoming like a harder thing to do it didn't used to require like training right so we've had training for it for thousands and thousands of years right these are what the yogis in ancient india discovered buddha sort of popularized right and then buddhism spread throughout east asia and then is now like spreading across you know the western civilization western hemisphere so there are skills for this but that we didn't need them before now with the advent of

technology this is why like you know so many people are into meditation now because you need to counteract this this force that moves you away from your internal self and then once again down here we've got thuria okay so how do we do this the first thing that i'd recommend is that if you're in the situation where you feel dead inside go get a mental health evaluation the first thing you should do okay why is that it's it's to understand that sometimes the feeling of being dead inside is actually contributed to by a psychiatric condition

right so we mentioned the cotard delusion kind of as an aside it's exceedingly rare i don't think you know likely that a single person is watching this as having the quarter delusion is very very low right it's like i don't think that's actually what's going on but you may have some degree of depression right you could have something like an atypical depression you may have something like a seasonal affective disorder there could be all kinds of things going on and remember that like when it comes to clinical depression you know like something like 20 to

35 of the population will experience this so this this number is like very high right and the cool thing here is that there could actually be treatment for this right so there may be like neurochemical signals that are altered in your brain that make it hard for you to connect to your internal self so that feeling of despair that feeling of like lack of motivation and stuff there could actually be some kind of neurochemical imbalance that could be sort of a psychiatric condition going on and that's the kind of thing where it's like unless you

sort of get that fixed then the rest of it is going to be very very hard so i'd actually start with a mental health evaluation and this too if we kind of look at this you know i went through some stuff and i'm okay now this is really important because even if you're okay doesn't mean that you're like healed or fixed right so this is where like it's sort of like if you you know if i if i break a bone and i don't set it and fix it properly eventually like the bone will heal

and i'll be able to like walk again let's say i like broke a bone in my leg like i can walk again it's just gonna you know it's not gonna be like ideal like it'll be a little bit harder to walk it'll take more energy it'll be a little bit more painful it'll be harder to climb stairs and so in that way mental injuries to us and this person sort of says like you know they got their internal image has been stabbed so mental injuries to us also try to heal naturally but much like physical

injuries they don't necessarily heal the right way automatically right they sort of like scab over whereas like you can sort of mentally reset your mind as well if you kind of heal properly a good example of this is trauma so like our body will adapt and equilibriate to trauma but that doesn't mean that it's actually healing properly we'll sort of like develop new habits distrust for other human beings which is what will happen after we get traumatized and that's like that's sort of a natural adaptation to the injury but it doesn't actually make it an

ideal healing so it's kind of a no-brainer but i'd say start with a mental health evaluation because i'm not i didn't see anything in here that this person had gotten that okay so um next thing that we need to do so remember the goal here for the next steps two three four and five are going to be to like rebuild your relationship with your internal self okay so now we're gonna do is rebuild our connection to self so this can be done in a manner of different like introspective spiritual kind of things but we're actually

going to start with what's easiest so there's this very simple principle from kind of like eastern spirituality that you start with the body because the body is the most accessible so what we're gonna do is get our body active and you may say okay what does that mean get it active it means just do anything that's active do anything that your body will send you signals okay that's what we want to do we just want to be receiving signals so a good example of this is let's say we go for a jog if you go

for a jog and you're huffing and puffing after five minutes you may think to yourself oh my god i'm screwing up so bad i'm so out of shape that's not the point you're doing fantastic if you're huffing and puffing because what's happening in that moment is you are reconnecting with internal signals even if you're huffing and puffing you can go cycling you can do push-ups you can go for a swim you can just get your body active start to re-engage this sort of like you know this is the mind and there's stuff beneath the mind

and when you're huffing and puffing you're not going to be thinking about anything right you're going to be like retouching with your internal body signals you're going to kind of get like getting back in touch with them okay so just get your body active just do something with your body and the goal here is just to like get feel stuff from your body if you want to exercise go for it that has the added benefit so that's like good right so i'd say like try to do some exercise and yeah small f okay we okay

saved saved okay next thing that we want to do in terms of getting in touch with our body this is gonna be great is eat food okay so start with the body but once again what you want to do is watch your body's signals in response to the food so we want to do is engage internal signals so you're going to eat foods that you like but before you eat them you're going to pay attention and grab the food that you want to eat you're going to stick it in front of you in a plate

and i want you to first of all notice the craving notice the desire then you're gonna start screwing with your mind you ready and then you're gonna say to yourself with this food that is in front of you hey i'm not gonna eat it i may eat something healthy instead i'm assuming that what you want is unhealthy which is maybe something else and watch what your mind does right like no no because because here you are and here's the mind and we say no no we're gonna we're gonna move in this direction towards the healthy

food and the mind is like no no no give me this give me this i want to eat it i want to eat it i want to eat it okay and that's okay like we're not going to punish our mind but just notice what happens within yourself so now already like when you do that what like it's really subtle but it's it's huge what this practice does this practice puts you down here as you are watching the mind right so we've got our observer which is like looking in this direction so now we're like looking

at the mind and we're just kind of screwing with it and then what you want to do is eat something that you dislike right so you can eat the thing that you like but once again what we're going to do is pay attention to like as the mind as we tell the mind hey we're moving this direction it's going to want to want to move over here and even if you eat it's important to eat the food that you dislike why is that because you need to experience the dislike that's really important so experience the

dislike what when we experience the dislike what we're going to do is move in this direction does that make sense because now our body is like telling us like you're getting tastes you're getting flavors it's not just thoughts there's going to be an experience of dislike okay and the likes will become the dislikes and all that that's la that's a different chapter okay we're not worried about that right now what we want to do is just get back in touch with our internal signals right so then what's happening is like whether we experience likes or

dislikes now what we've got is like a better understanding of motivation towards food over here okay so now like even if you dislike stuff deep down here it's still waking up right it's not dead anymore it's sending you bad signals like i don't like this but that's okay we're getting signals that's the important thing okay now as you guys do this now comes the advanced part so there's gonna be like sort of an advanced part and the last part is actually gonna be super super basic which is gonna be our meditation for the day now

our advanced part is as we get in touch with the likes and dislikes down here i want you to notice what directs my thoughts try to answer this question okay so this is like more inquisitive in nature so like once you get in touch with it's kind of hard to describe but you're going to have all kinds of thoughts up here you're going to have desires that want to move in this direction you're going to have desires that want to move in this direction you're going to have different kinds of actions right i want to

do this i want to do this you can have all this crap going on up here and then down here you're going to have your drives but like what actually controls your actions what controls your thoughts when you end up doing something are you operating from up here are you operating from down here and this is where you're gonna say like yeah i mean i don't really know i don't really understand the question even and that's actually totally fine this is why you need to lay out the landscape of like how the [ __ ]

you work on the inside and the way that we're gonna do this is just by creating signals and like learning like where these signals come from is this my mind is this my body is this an internal drive right is it emotions like who knows the whole point of this is so that you understand like how how to control this thing that you are okay right so like listen to your heart like how do you do that we're gonna figure out are you actually listening to your heart what's your heart saying and it's okay if

you're being controlled by dopamine like that's actually not a problem right now the main thing is to understand it okay then we get to number five so i'm going to teach y'all a meditation to get in touch with your body this meditation is called kaishtheeram if you want to get in touch with your body the best meditation to get in touch with your body is kaiser okay so for those of you that are meaning and thinking that okay there means touch yourself oh dr k is going to tell me to touch myself dr k asmr

stream touching yourself with dr k no it's going to be the very opposite of touching yourself guys theorem is not a body scan no no no too easy to easy chat k-a-y-a-s-h-t-i-r-a-m okay guys theorem means stillness of the body so if you want to get the most signals from your body all you have to do is sit perfectly still so if you want to feel no longer dead inside really simple technique make you feel alive in 30 seconds maybe a minute maybe two maybe three minutes ah no no cartoon jesse no so someone's saying i

do that all day long no you do not you do not do kaiosh theorem i am almost 100 this does not mean sit in a chair what i am doing right now is not kaiser because i'm moving so we are going to close our eyes we are going to sit perfectly still and we are gonna prepare ourselves for the torrent of internal signals that we're gonna get and we're not gonna respond to a single damn one you have an itch on your nose you're not gonna move some part of your body is falling asleep not

gonna move you haven't this feels weird you wanna move it it's uncomfortable not gonna move okay you can breathe so you keep your muscle twitch if it twitches automatically that's fine but we're not going to let it move we're going to notice the twitch and we're going to ignore the the twitch that sounds horrific you're damn right that's why you all we all are dead inside and you want to be not dead inside within like three minutes in 180 seconds you want dr k to teach you the secret yeah it's gonna be like it's not

gonna be fun but you can do it okay so this is what we're gonna do we're gonna sit up straight so try to keep your back straight okay you can adopt a meditative posture if you want to and then we're gonna close our eyes where you can breathe if you want to but you don't want to lose yourself in the breath okay so doing breathing meditation here is cheating we want to do is maintain stillness of the body notice stillness of the body okay and we're going to try to do it for like three minutes

okay so sit up straight close your eyes we're gonna count back from ten to one and then we're gonna be perfectly still okay ten nine eight seven six five four three two one and now we're still for three minutes notice all the signals that your body is sending you already maintain your stillness notice the slight postural disturbances stillness notice the signals that your body sends you maybe you're noticing hunger an itch a discomfort and now you may discover what what a beautiful refuge breath is as you breathe you may notice a distraction in stepping away

from all of your internal signals notice how each breath is a blessed relief from stillness no smiling now slow down the breath you don't get to hang out in that refuge for too long return to stillness of the body breathe slowly focus on every physical sensation try to pause between your breaths and focus on the signals now we're going to try to keep going for two more minutes notice what your mind does does it rebel and say i was only supposed to do this for three minutes ah ignore it focus on your body maintain your

stillness good find refuge in the breath if you need to if you're really really struggling to move deep breath in and out slow maintain your stillness focus your mind control your body now notice all the signals you're getting in the span of these two or three minutes the struggles you've endured the signals from your body and also how alive you feel when you breathe deep breath in and notice that vitality within you and now we're going to count back from 10. to 1 and after we hit one we'll be able to move and relax our

body and what i really want you to pay attention to is notice that as we count down notice what happens in your body the yearning to move will it increase intensely for some people right as we get back to one so now i'll count back 10 nine eight seven six five maintain stillness oh my god dr k is counting slowly i thought he was gonna count fast look at your mind rebelling no smiling no smiling stillness five how long is it going to take him to get back to one oh my god we can do

this for a while ignore all of those thoughts maintain your stillness focus your mind no moving refuge in the breath if you need to four three two oh my god that last second when is he gonna hit it let's go notice your impatience set it aside focus on your body find refuge in your breath the number will come when it comes you will be still until it does one and relax how was that okay good that is the right answer okay i had to laugh why do i feel nauseous i hated it but also liked

it then you're doing it right it took so much effort is swallowing okay i felt wobbly that's crazy listen let me explain something to y'all we just sat still for like five minutes that's all it was that's just just sat still for like literally what we did is sit still for five minutes right like that's all we did like that's not a thing and notice how rich your internal environment is holy crap if sitting still can for five minutes offers so much in life both good and bad think about how empty the rest of our

life is like how we're living empty lives because we're not living them mindfully every experience of your life can be as intense as that every bite of food you can eat ever as intense as that every time you step into the sun and feel the sun on your face as intense as that living life with intensity finding like losing track of like this person that you are inside you feel dead inside yeah it's because we don't live life like that we live life like in a [ __ ] haze sitting still for five minutes can

be such a wealth of experience intense man like the relief you feel at the end the struggles with your mind it's like you know what i was envisioning that y'all are doing what it felt like to me i could feel it it felt to me like you're the captain of a ship in stormy seas and the seas are trying to like break your ship apart but you're holding steady in your course and then even though you're getting rocked and bumped and there's gale force winds and all this kind of stuff you're going to keep this

the ship going in the direction you tell it to go and somehow like suddenly now breathing feels amazing like who knew that breathing could feel so good moving which we do all the time just fidgeting can feel amazing and it's all about up here right this is the biggest problem that we've lost track of is we've started to believe that living a life of fulfillment is like comes from the outside and when all these [ __ ] instagram gurus right of which we may be guilty who knows i don't even really understand we'll say like

oh my god you have to like live life like happiness comes from within like what do you think people mean when they say that 90 of them don't know what they're talking about but the 10 who are actually saying this is what it means when fulfillment and like life comes from like within like this is what they mean it's because they figured out that our internal experience of things is where like intensity and passion and enjoyment comes from even negativity can be intense like can you imagine if you were just relaxed that whole time like

how empty that experience would have been like if you were just chilling and comfortable like laying in the sun and like really like sure it'd be like enjoyable but like just think about like what you accomplished you sat still for five minutes it's so intense right so like that's that's the thing so you know if y'all are feeling dead on the inside you got to get in touch with yourself but what but everyone's like oh like get in touch with your inner child like oh my god you know like don't what does that mean this

is how you do it like literally this is what you have to do when you eat food when you exercise it doesn't have to be exercise just do something that gets your body to send you signals and be with those signals right i feel like this would have been even more intense if we did it in total silence you're absolutely correct and you're not ready for that which is why i was there with you right so next time you're going to be on your own without dr k so you're the captain of the ship in

stormy waters dr k is a little tugboat that's along for the ride and it's going to give me be giving you all a hand but when you're ready to go sail into those waters on your own could be today could be now could be tomorrow then by all means do it and you're damn right it's going to be way harder right five minutes with yourself okay so how do you get in touch with yourself if you feel dead on the inside this is how the process of getting in touch with yourself can literally be trained

right so let's kind of recap and wrap up number one oftentimes our early years are filled with joy and light and excitement and then sometimes our 20s hit and then like things happen right and this this vision of the world that we had starts to like fall apart and it's not what i thought it was it's not as fun as i used to be like your excitement for life goes like as life you know drags you through crap it extinguishes the desire to live from you the excitement for life then what happens is we sort

of get stuck in this situation where we're chasing dopamine we're chasing enjoyment of the mind and losing sight of ourselves in the process because you can like watch youtube for eight hours a day like you can do that but it's not gonna you're not gonna look like there's gonna be like it's you know it'll entertain your mind but the rest of you will become like empty and then what happens is we like start to struggle because we don't have motivation we have like no desire like we they're like in here there's nothing coming out of

this there's no like i don't feel like doing anything so then what does the mind do it does one of two things well i used to want to do this so let me do that again let me go back to the way that i used to be then we and ourselves end up getting stuck because we're moving backwards but you can't really move backwards so you're just staying still then you feel stuck because you're not moving forward you're chasing after what's gone and then you're just kind of there it's also easy to get lost in

the dopamine of it right like mine doesn't like getting in here because sometimes in here there's nasty stuff so how do we get back in touch with this first use your body it's the easiest way okay there are other ways to more mental in nature but use your body it's easy very easy right so like engage your body do something that your body is sending you signals good or bad so if you're you know if you take a cold shower that's unpleasant but your body is sending you a signal take a warm shower but if

you take a warm shower this is important enjoy the warmth right really feel that warmth the problem with relaxing stimulation for the body is that it gives our mind the tendency to wander okay you can eat food that both you like and dislike and notice the different signals that your body sends you last thing is notice what directs your thoughts and your actions and then kaishthiram sit perfectly still five minutes six minutes seven minutes whatever you can handle and notice the torrent of things that comes up for you so we should focus in our body

at all times during the practices yes pay attention and then what you'll naturally do is you'll start to get in touch with your internal self and the cool thing is once you learn how to look within you it starts with the body because the body's going to be sending you lots of signals then what you can do is continue to look within you now that you know how to look within you it's easy because like the body's sending you signals so you know exactly where to look but once i know okay this is where i'm

going to look even in the absence of signals i can still look there and that's when i'll start to discover like internal stuff okay so someone's asking when is kaish theorem too much not yet is the answer so i think you can do this practice for 20 minutes at a stretch like once you've trained your body properly you can easily do it for 20 minutes some yogis will do it for days right so i don't recommend that but i'd say like 20 minutes of stillness is good okay yeah so i have depersonalization disorder but this

was the first time for a while i talked to my body hopefully that's a good thing right so remember that if you're depersonalizing there may be a reason for that right so sometimes some of these depersonalization disorders and stuff are responses to like protect you so don't rush it especially if you've been diagnosed with something definitely talk to your treater about stuff like that got it five minutes then build up to 20 absolutely it's a good way to do it ah days after that i'd feel like walking i'm walking on air now y'all understand why

enlightenment leads to happiness because once you do these spiritual practices every moment of your life is walking on air excellent someone's saying hey sorry just tuned in what do you let your mind do while staying still oh your mind isn't going to be your mind will have plenty of do to do all you have to do is try not to move and your mind will be occupied don't worry about it go back and watch the vod and do the practice okay it's okay so so it's a great question i'm not i'm i'm laughing because i

think we chat just experienced something i'm not i'm not trying to uh keep you out seriously you should go watch this i don't it's just so i want y'all to notice that question and notice the questions of the intellect and how absurd the questions of the intellect can sound to someone with experience do you all get that it's like the question is completely appropriate right so this is someone who's smart has figured out okay like if i'm focusing on my body what do i let my mind do isn't meditation about focusing the mind it's an

excellent question right and also like completely irrelevant so once you do the practice you'll see that your mind i mean maybe maybe you're you do have to occupy your mind i'm not sure so if if you're able to do kai's theorem without any difficulty then you probably want to move on to a more mental meditation which is like mantra or something like that that's what i would recommend all right okay next one yeah so i noticed that when we were counting down last 10 seconds slowly i was getting more and more anxious closer to being

done yeah that's why i was counting slowly to make it harder for you because y'all were such chads y'all were doing so good that we had to make things difficult right you couldn't stop laughing good so next time i won't be there this is easy mode little tugboat dr k's your little tugboat next time y'all are on your own okay so here's the other thing next level play so if you were meditating for five minutes and you couldn't help but laugh during that time you're meditating right right that's what's actually beautiful about meditation it's like

what you're laughing for five minutes without any kind of joke or funny video or tick tock or anything like that you were just sitting with yourself and like couldn't suppress laughter you're doing it right right so someone's saying what if you're crying you're doing it right right whatever is within is coming out you're in touch with yourself this is an antidote to being dead on the inside you all get this it's very important to understand ah so okay okay so i'm noticing a lot of questions do you guys okay let's let's say there's good questions

here so we're going to talk about it okay so number one um okay dr k what if it becomes a mindless habit like other meditation after a while then you're doing the meditation wrong so this is it's a very common problem but it's also incorrect that once our body develops a habit it puts it on autopilot and then our mind likes to wander right so the whole purpose of meditation is to not let your mind wander and have it focus on one thing and you can get good at that so you can like breathe for

10 minutes without it becoming a habit as long as you learn how to control your attention okay so but it is a danger so for a lot of people who find that their body acclimatizes this is why we teach different meditation techniques so for some people one meditation technique is good enough but for a lot of people that i work with especially like people with like adhd and stuff what they'll find what they'll do is entrain their habit circuitry and so i'll mix up their meditation quite a bit there's a reason why i don't do

the same meditation on stream every single week right because what's going to happen is all you all are going to check out and it's going to become automatic so that's why we teach new and new meditations and over time what you'll do this the level of focus your training is going to be like every meditation you do is leveling up your focus without letting you en engender some kind of habit and distraction so if you if you do this enough times without getting distracted then your mind will learn how to focus without it developing a

habit so that's why you should just mix up your meditation okay next question is um i forgot uh there's another good one what if the only thing coming is rage and anger then let it come and stay still do not lose yourself in the rage and anger right because remember the kaish theorem practice is about staying still and maintaining that don't get lost in that let those rage and anger will come and they'll go just like an itch comes and goes just like you know the hunger comes and goes just like you know the tickling

sensation comes and goes everything will come and go you stay still okay someone's asking what if i want to smash everything in my room out of anger don't stay still you can want to do stuff don't do it the practice is to stay still easy okay how do you control their thoughts is is there a way there's absolutely a way but it's more than i can answer right now okay um there's another question but i'm missing it now uh okay a lot of good questions so you let it come but don't give in that's perfect

what if i fall asleep you can sleep if you want to you better not move a damn muscle i don't care if you sleep no moving all y'all are asking all these like questions but like it doesn't it's simple the instructions are simple what if i fall asleep don't don't move you're like but if i sleep i can't control whether i move good then don't fall asleep sit for five minutes seven minutes eight minutes nine minutes ten minutes you have one job just sit [ __ ] still for five minutes what if i become aroused

then you're aroused right what if this what if this what if this what if this do you see how your mind loves to rebel there's the intellect again oh but dr k what about this oh if i fall asleep but then i'm gonna fall asleep oh i guess i'd better not do it eh what the [ __ ] you're not gonna fall asleep you'll be fine you see that so much resistance like i get the intellectual curiosity i really do and if anyone feels you know like i'm being uh i'm not i'm beating up on

particular people for asking questions it's it's like i i do it with love hopefully y'all are getting that seriously like your mind is going to come with all these kinds of questions most of the questions are good and also like they're sort of relevant like this is the whole thing you all have to understand is that the purpose of the kaiosh theorem practice is to help you understand how intense the experience of life can be the mental crap is just floating around up here right like just sit and then all of your answers will be

right there okay you sometimes have an erection during meditation is that normal it's very normal okay random question which i will answer randomly dr k why is marijuana so bad on reinforcing patterns of behavior because the habit circuitry in your brain uses endocannabinoid signals and receptors that's why so the parts of our brain that form habits use the endocannabinoid system so like the neurotransmitters that have to do with habit formation or cannabinoids so what happens when you use pot is that like you're tossing in a bunch of artificial cannabinoids which in turn are gonna hit

receptors in your like habit formation circuitry because that's what's gonna happen and then when they hit those receptors it's gonna you're gonna start reinforcing weird behaviors it's really interesting