Meanwhile... Olympic Swimmer's Warmup Dance Goes Viral

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Meanwhile... Swimmer Sierra Schmidt went viral this week for her incredible dance moves. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: http://bit.ly/ColbertYouTube Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": http://bit.ly/1Puei40 Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1df139Y Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: http://bit.ly/29wfREj Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS. --- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount , and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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Video Transcript:

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK! GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN"! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: YES! >> Stephen: HOW'S EVERYBODY? HOW'S EVERYBODY? I SEE YOU GUYS EVERY DAY. WE DON'T GET TO TALK MUCH. HOW'S EVERYBODY IN THE BAND FEELING ABOUT THE FIRST WEEK BACK? >> GREAT. >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE LIFE ITSELF, ISN'T IT? >> IT REALLY IS. >> Stephen: COULDN'T DO WITHOUT YOU GUYS. YOU'RE THE ONLY REASON WHY WE'RE HERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: PEOPLE REALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN. >> Stephen: SO SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP DOING IT. >> Jon: YEAH, THAT'S IT. LET'S GET IT >> STEPHEN: Y'KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME HARVESTING THE DAY'S MOST TOPICAL MATCHA POWDER, CAREFULLY POLISHING THE NEWSIEST CHAWAN TEA BOWL WITH A HEMP CLOTH, THEN ADDING THE PUREST BOILED WATER COLLECTED FROM THE RIVER OF STORIES, TO STAGE THE ELEGANT JAPANESE TEA CEREMONY THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT SOMETIMES, I CONVINCE A TRUCK DRIVER TO GIVE ME A RIDE IN EXCHANGE FOR AN UNREGISTERED GUN AND A HALF-EATEN CAN OF BEANS, HITCHHIKE TO THE SONORA DESERT WITH NOTHING BUT AN OLD POT THAT I FILL WITH THE NEWSPAPER I'VE BEEN USING FOR A BLANKET, AND THE SALVAGED TOBACCO FROM SIDEWALK CIGARETTE BUTT, TO BREW FOR YOU, THE NIGHTMARE HALLUCINATION-INDUCING FERMENTED AYAHUASCA SLURRY OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: (ECHOING) >> MEANWHILE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: MEAN WHILE, AGING IS LIKE A FINE WINE, OR A RIPE CHEESE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: MEANWHILE, RAPPER POST MALONE HAS UNVEILED A NEW SMILE, COMPLETE WITH DIAMOND FANGS. SOUNDS COOL, BUT HE'S GOTTA REMEMBER TO GET HIS ANNUAL CLEANING AT ZALES. ( LAUGHTER ) THE NEW CHOMPERS CAME WITH A PRICE TAG OF $1.6 MILLION. AND IF YOU'RE SHOCKED BY THAT, LEMME ASK: WAS IT THE 'OVER' EYE TATTOOS, OR THE 'UNDER' EYE TATTOOS THAT CONVINCED YOU THIS IS A MAN WHO MAKES RESPONSIBLE CHOICES? ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, VIDEO IS GOING VIRAL OF THIS GLIDER PILOT WHO TOOK A SELFIE WHILE FLYING AROUND A TORNADO. A GREAT LESSON FOR ALL YOU ASPIRING PILOTS: IF YOU SEE A SWIRLING FUNNEL OF DEATH, BE SURE TO GET AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE FOR A SELFIE WHILE FLYING ONE-HANDED IN YOUR TINY, WINGED COFFIN. ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S KIND OF COOL. KIND OF COOL. MEANWHILE, SOME TROUBLE IN FRANCE WHERE IKEA HAS BEEN FINED 1.1 MILLION EUROS FOR SPYING ON ITS STAFF. THE STAFF REALIZED THE COMPANY WAS SPYING ON THEM WHEN THE STORES HAD THEM ASSEMBLING ITS NEWEST PRODUCT: THE PEEPERSLOOKEN. ( LAUGHTER ) EVERYBODY LOVES THAT. MEANWHILE, SALMA HAYEK'S OWL COUGHED A RAT HAIRBALL ON HARRY STYLES. OWL WELL, WE ALL SAW 'THAT' COMING. MEANWHILE, THE WORLD'S FIRST WOODEN SATELLITE WILL LAUNCH THIS YEAR. IT WILL BE THE FIRST SATELLITE TO BURN UP ON EXIT. ( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE LAUNCHING IT IN ORDER TO TEST THE DURABILITY OF PLYWOOD PANELS IN THE EXTREME CONDITIONS OF SPACE. AS THE ONE-TIME OWNER OF SEVERAL IKEA ITEMS, I CAN TELL YOU THAT PLYWOOD PANELS CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THE EXTREME CONDITIONS OF APARTMENT. ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, SCARY NEWS FOR PELOTON USERS: A NEW CYBER SECURITY THREAT ANALYSIS FOUND THAT SOME PELOTON MACHINES HAVE A DANGEROUS FLAW THAT COULD ENABLE HACKERS TO INVISIBLY AND REMOTELY GAIN CONTROL OF BIKES. THIS COULD BE BAD. (AS PELOTON INSTRUCTOR) ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS LET'S TAKE THE RESISTANCE UP TO 35. AND, JUST FOR KICKS, EVERYONE SHOUT THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. MARLENE P, YOU'RE LAGGING, BETTER GIVE ME YOUR ACCOUNT AND ROUTING NUMBERS TOO. WOOHOOO! DO IT FOR YOU! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I LOVE IT! CRANK IT UP! THE BIGGEST CONCERN WITH THIS HACK IS THAT CRIMINALS COULD SPY ON USERS THROUGH THE BIKE'S CAMERA AND MICROPHONE. WELL, I'VE DEVELOPED A FOOL-PROOF PLAN TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO ME: USING MY PELOTON ONLY TO HANG MY PANTS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, TO MARK 4OO YEARS SINCE THE ORIGINAL CROSSING A ROBOTIC SHIP HAS SET OFF TO RETRACE THE MAYFLOWER'S JOURNEY. SAID NATIVE AMERICANS: OH, GOOD. WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN, BUT WITH WIFI. ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, OLYMPIC TRIALS ARE TAKING PLACE RIGHT NOW FOR THE US NATIONAL SWIM TEAM, AND SWIMMER SIERRA SCHMIDT HAS GONE VIRAL FOR HER SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC AND ELABORATE PRERACE WARMUP ROUTINE TO WHATEVER IS IN HER HEADPHONES. GO GIRL! WARM UP LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING! ( LAUGHTER ) WARMUPS GENERALLY INVOLVE THE SAME MOVEMENTS THE SPORT USES. SO I REALLY HOPE THAT'S NOT HOW SHE ACTUALLY SWIMS. ( LAUGHTER ) (AS SPORTS COMMENTATOR) WELL, CHIP, SHE MAY HAVE COME IN LAST BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT, THAT WAS THE JAZZIEST DROWNING IN OLYMPIC HISTORY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. MEANWHILE, THERE'S A NEW VIRAL TIKTOK HACK THAT HELPS YOU EVENLY BUTTER YOUR MOVIE THEATER POPCORN USING A STRAW. I'VE GOT AN EVEN BETTER HACK: IF YOU HAVE MELTED BUTTER AND A STRAW -- (WHISPERS) YOU DON'T NEED THE POPCORN. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NATHAN LANE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪♪♪

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