SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION | Leslie Coutterand | TEDxMarin

[Applause] [Music] two months ago I was in Zimbabwe I had just come out of the bush after completing a wide life course and sustainability program I was dirty tired but happy in the first town I worked in a pharmacy it shells were mostly empty with a few dust-covered medicine bottles and then I saw the pharmacist and I'd start talking to him as I was speaking a poster next to him caught my attention it was an old advertisement for a well-known cosmetic brand and the face on it looked surprisingly familiar I stared at it and suddenly

adjunct and I told him that's me he looked over shook his head and was like no that doesn't look like you I was like no no no it's me just look closer and then I looked back and I realized he may be right there was photoshopped greening on the beach slapping on some sunscreen as my picture-perfect husband and two kids run behind me but it wasn't the real me I was looking at a stranger in a different life a life were what I represented was more important than who I was so for most of my

adult life I was an actress I was the lead in a young adult TV show and then one of the leads in one of France's most viewed TV show for two seasons I came to Hollywood looking for fame and fortune and ended up being bored and frustrated I felt as though these dreams I was chasing they were on mine they've been placed on me conditioned in me so this dream conditioning as I like to call it started in my early childhood I initially influenced by some childhood traumas I grew up with the feeling of not

being protected understood or heard and I was transfixed by what I discovered on TV and magazines I discovered something and I quickly noticed that the more people had celebrity beauty and possessions the more they were respected so since I was lacking acceptance confidence and security I looked through what the media imposed on us as an image of success and I tried to copy it and that's how I ended up choosing the acting career I chose media driven dreams and ambitions to heal my childhood wounds this conditioning accelerated massively during my 20s as technology and social

media era truly blossomed you see the social media and smartphones turn would have been limited to TV magazines and newspapers into something that follows us everywhere yeah even in the bathroom so all day images are flash to us in three second post it generates feelings of need lack and competition the social platform that were originally set up with the best of intention became quickly the largest most powerful social conditioner of all time and it's pushing everyone to display their ideal life and to watch their ideal peers and that I was good at I was really

good at it so I wasn't an obsessive poster or a selfie addict but in my a bit more than average usage I was already crossing the line not because I was posting but because of why I was posting and what I was trying to get from it constant instant free gratification I was staging my life and I was rewarded for it all my social activities turn into an opportunity for a good picture of me after a breakup I would post the best selfies and some for smiling pictures of me and my beautiful friend even though

in reality I was in bed at 9 p.m. alone crying a lot one of my last photo shoots I was in the swimming pool I was being splashed with water smiling seductively at the camera the photo completely and representative of what was happening I was self-conscious freezing got water in my eyes and it was burning and the worst I wasn't even paid for it how was I doing it was then in that pool I started to realize that none of this made sense none of this matters I had only agreed to the shoot because I

knew it would provide me with some new Instagram or the images that I could post and then I would get my daily rush of dopamine I had to question my identity at this point I created an avatar life based on the attention and validation of others in truth my passions were environmental and social activism spirituality and mindfulness and human progress so what would happen if I quit acting if I started to be me with people still like me would they think I failed they think I'm not enough or worse normal I was ashamed but mostly

I felt lost so I took out a list I wrote down years ago of goals and dreams I was trying to achieve and then I wrote a second list of what moments in my life I was the happiest and when I felt the most like my true self the two lists were completely different the first list Academy Awards fancy house designer bags cool car second list hugging trees talking about love and philosophy contributing discovering country's cake the to list made me realize I had to do something so first I went to buy a cupcake and

then I decided to change and that's how I quit acting so then my mom was scared and my banker was furious we we don't have to go around that but my transformation had to come from inside I started with self-reflection meditation and self-love the more I started to accept and love myself the more my compassion expanded and I started to look at the world with a sense of purpose and I was looking for meaning and that's why seeing my former self in this little pharmacy in Zimbabwe was such a shock we looked alike but were

two different persons one was living her life while the other was faking it so why am I telling you all of this because I want to help others avoid the wrong list and set free from conditioning with my filtered selfies I was sending the message that to be accepted loved and respected we need to rely on a distorted reality and values that the consumer society has passed on us with my like and share buttons I was taking part of a system that initially made me unfulfilled and secure and addicted with my tags I was promoting

companies I boycott now and I was encouraging an economic system a question today a study by the group Common Sense Media revealed that teens spend an average of nine hours per day consuming media Pew Research Center shows that 24% of teens go online almost constantly and 35% of them want to become youtubers which is fine but most of them don't even know why many studies show that our current social media conception can lead us to depression addiction self-doubt and unhappiness that social media algorithm create echo chambers and reduce our exposure to new IDs so how

can teenagers learn to know who they are develop self-love and feel free or of their own choices if they're constantly conditioned by these addictive media so I got out of the funny tech driven social media frenzy from me but on top of that my experience taught me something with my post I shape your world with your post you shake mine and this hyper connected world our digital habits have a long-term impact on ourselves our society and our planet with our post like or share we are approving a behavior a choice or vision with our post

like or share we give more power to the message underneath the post with our post like or share we vote for our future so how can we use these amazing creative platforms to benefit the world and avoid the negative impacts that it causes for those of you who are influencers you can reach hundreds of people in a second think about the message you're putting out there for those of you who have kids help them understand their need they have to post and remind them that social media isn't the real world it's a tool that can

be used for the inane or for the beautiful and if you have friends who post selfies constantly instead of liking the pictures or roll your eyes realize it may not be narcissism but quite the opposite maybe you need to belong and need to be loved and need to connect try to read the message underneath the post reach out beyond the screen have a coffee so a French philosopher Sahabi said four super technologies we need super conscience well I think this is our big next cultural challenge to raise their consciousness and bring humanity to the material

and bring more connection mindfulness and authenticity to our digital world the good news is were not passive participants in this hundred billion dollar industry and now that we know how the game works we can play it for good promote what we love what we value what matters and then perhaps when we learn to control social media rather than it controlling us we can create a new world a world where any one of us could work in this tiny tiny little pharmacy in Zimbabwe and instead of seeing a fake glossy ad we could find a crowd

founded medical product that is helping children around the world or the result of the social media groups that empower woman or any of the hundreds of thousands a remarkable thing we can change and improve with social media and this is the world I dream of thank you for listening [Applause] [Music] [Applause]