I healed my feminine energy and this is exactly how i did it.

I just kept pushing and pushing myself I kept getting further and further into my masculine energy and it wasn't until my body completely broke down and my body developed all of these health issues that I realized something has to change here hello everyone and welcome back if you're new here my name is jills and I help women step into their power tap into their divine feminine and transform their lives so if that's something you want to do you should consider subscribing and sticking around so I actually was not going to film today this is not

my normal camera ready makeup or hair but I really just wanted to turn on the camera and chat very casually and talk about basically how I lost my feminine energy and how my feminine energy became wounded and subsequently how I got my feminine energy back how I reclaimed my feminine energy how I healed my feminine energy so it all kind of started more around like late adolescence you know around that time in high school when everyone is trying to like get into the best colleges and everyone's trying to take the best classes maybe not everyone

but that was me I was trying to get the best grades fill up my resume in the best way possible and do all these cool things so that I could get into the best college and I don't necessarily regret that at all by any means because I did get into my dream college but everything was about more of like external achievements everything was about winning everything was about being the best it wasn't about feeling good it wasn't about tapping into my body or my feelings or my heart or my intuition it was not any of

those things and then it was just kind of more of the same thing in college you know again it was about getting good grades so that you could get the best internships and then get the best job after college and it was just kind of this hamster wheel of like trying to do the best trying to be the best yada yada yada and it got very exhausting and there's nothing wrong with wanting to achieve and win and you know get good grades and get good jobs and things like that nothing wrong with that at all

but that heavy focus on that took me into my masculine energy but besides that around like age 21 or something I really got stuck in my fight or flight mode I was there for a few years and that's honestly because of just like circumstances that were happening in my life that was the summer before my senior year in college when I was kind of getting ready to like apply to all those like big fancy corporate jobs and that was stressing me out especially because I didn't actually want to go and work for any of those

big fancy jobs but I convinced myself that that's what I needed to do that was also the exact same time that my mom got re-diagnosed with cancer except this time it was stage four cancer So that obviously weighed really heavy on me as well Cole was having some problems around this time too so it was kind of just like these external circumstances that were weighing me down that were really really heavy on me and so I felt like I had to step fully into my masculine energy to kind of like protect myself and get through

that period of time in my life I was essentially in fight or flight but the thing with feminine energy is that feminine energy cannot exist when there is not safety in the body when a woman feels unsafe it is almost impossible possible for her to be relaxed into her feminine energies pretty much impossible and that is for a good reason our masculine energy is the energy that protects us but what happens a lot of times and what happened to me is that a woman will get stuck in her fight or flight State and then she

will just stay there for a really really long time and she can't ever get herself out of it she can't ever get herself out of that masculine energy and that's kind of where I was finding myself I was getting stuck in that masculine energy and then I started being more the masculine energy in my relationship I started being more controlling I was doing the opposite of leading back and being in my feminine I was very much in my masculine energy in that Dynamic with coal in that specific time in our lives and even just the

way I moved my body like the exercises that I did I would go for long runs and I would always try to either run farther every single day or PR every single day like have the best time every single day or just do any other type of like more intense type of workout and I didn't really feel like my workouts were good enough unless I took it to an intensity unless I was very exhausted and very sore afterwards and as I talked about in my Healthy Habits video that is not good for the female body

especially for our menstrual cycles and everything but I just kept pushing and pushing myself I kept getting further and further into my masculine energy and it wasn't until my body completely broke down and my body developed all of these health issues that I realized something has to change here so through that process of healing my body and my mind I realized through some research and things like that that I was very disconnected from my feminine energy and when I kind of stumbled upon this topic of feminine energy it stood out to me and intuitively I

knew that that was a really big struggle that I was having and that was something that I really needed to focus on so in the rest of this video I'm going to talk about things that I specifically did to reclaim my feminine energy connect back to my feminine energy and heal that part of me now I'm sharing my own personal things that I did so these might not all be relevant for everyone they might help some people and not others I'm just trying to share what helped me so the first thing I did and the

reason why I did this first is because it was kind of the only thing that I knew how to do and how to improve this part of myself I started putting more effort into my appearance and my beauty and my style and all of that I had kind of lost touch with this side of myself and through that whole process of kind of being in my masculine energy and then having my health really decline I just kind of started looking like a potato every day and it wasn't making me feel good and so I started

putting myself together even when I wasn't really feeling that well I would start putting myself together and putting on cute outfits and if I didn't have cute outfits I would go find some cute outfits because I deserve to wear some cute outfits I started wearing some makeup again you know not a lot I don't wear like a ton of makeup every day by any means but I was kind of going makeup free every single day for a while and it just wasn't making me feel like my most beautiful vibrant self and so I started kind

of embracing that side of myself again and I always recommend that this is a really good place to start because it is so easy like anyone can start just taking care of themselves better everyone can start trying to put more effort into their appearance that part isn't that hard but really tapping into the energy of divine feminine that's a lot harder but putting effort into your appearance and effort into your beauty and having fun with your beauty when you do this you naturally start tapping into the energy of that divine feminine now I also started

leaning back in my romantic relationship so like I said I was starting to be a bit more in my masculine energy in the relationship and we were both feeling the consequences of this and I didn't like it I didn't enjoy it so I intentionally started leaning back and what I mean by leaning back is that I stopped trying to control everything so much I stopped trying to tell him what he needed to do I stop trying to solve his problems for him I started being more of that feminine energy in the relationships I gave him

the opportunity to step up and lead or before I wasn't I was just taking that all for myself you know I realized that I was kind of treating him like a baby and mothering him a little bit and I think that this Dynamic is so common this happens so often where women will start to Mother their man and I think I need to do like a whole video on this topic because I do think it is so common and so important but I had to force myself to get out of that space and for me

personally working on that relationship component was a huge part of it because I at that time I was already very much in a committed relationship actually I think I was already engaged at that point so that was obviously a big part of my life and something that I really needed to work on especially before we got married and everything so that was something I worked on leaning back in the relationship and it was not an overnight process it was not an overnight switch but I did see that through this process things started to change I

started to feel more like the girl in the relationship and I mean that in a really good way you know more of that like princess energy and feeling like you are cherished I started feeling that again because I allowed him to be in his masculine energy and that made me feel really good now the next thing I did to start healing my feminine energy was I started letting go of that feeling like I always needed to be proving myself like I always needed to be doing the best like I always needed to be doing things

perfectly and I always needed to be winning this is just such a bad mindset to get into and I really just got stuck in this mindset and that really gets you stuck in your masculine energy and it was this artificial feeling of like success is more important than everything else and it just kept me trapped and it kept me really unhappy and so I really had to let go of this belief that I was holding on to and these stories that I was holding on to that I was only really valuable if I was doing

certain things in my life and if I was achieving certain things in my life and the way that I did that was just by consciously changing the way that I talked to myself and when I would get certain thoughts in my head about needing to achieve and be the best and yada yada I would force myself to change those thoughts or I would just kind of release them and let them go into the Nethers I wanted to get rid of that mindset and the only way I knew how was by telling myself over and over

again that that is not what is most important and also by acting in accordance with those thoughts even if I didn't fully believe it yet for example I quit my corporate job and that was a really big deal and you know old me who is all about like wanting to be the best and do all these fancy things like that wouldn't have worked for me but I didn't make decisions based off of that old identity I wanted to make decisions off of that new identity that I was trying to create so I started to live

my life in that way you know that doesn't mean that I just totally stopped caring about achievements and career and having success and money and all those things for me personally those things are important to me and they will always be important to me but it can't be my most important thing above everything else to me that wasn't healthy so I had to let that belief go I had to let those feelings go I had to change my mindset around the fact that I had nothing to prove that I was worthy as I was and

the more that I tapped into who I was the more that I would contribute and positively impact the world now another thing that I did like I said I did quit my corporate job so that was a big deal and I'm not gonna lie I'm not saying everyone should just go quit their jobs but I'm not gonna lie this really did help me a lot because I I didn't go like find a new job right away or anything like that I took time to just kind of heal and be with myself and I realized that

not a lot of people have that opportunity luckily I was married at the time so I was able to do it we were able to make it work and I having that time to just like slow down instead of being in a corporate office with artificial lights all day I could go outside in the sunshine I could be with the trees and the flowers I could go walk my dogs at noon on a Wednesday and those things those simple little things just felt so good it was that freedom and that time back to myself and

connecting back to myself that really kind of changed the game for me I also got a puppy during this time I got Piper during this time so I'm not saying you should just quit your job and get a puppy but I am saying it helped me a lot because I was able to get out of that like hamster wheel kind of rut I was able to just kind of relax and be in nature I was able to nurture my puppy those things just felt so good to me and I love those things I love animals

I love like being home and doing all those kind of home things cooking and all that so having my day basically revolve around that was so incredibly healing for me my energy started to shift and I started to heal my body I started to feel better in my body body my mental health started to improve and I started to feel way more tapped into my feminine energy I started to be way more in my feminine energy in my romantic relationship and that's when things really started to change I just think sometimes that when you want

to make a big change in your life like a big mental or mindset shift kind of change oftentimes when we make a big environmental change or like an external change it makes those changes easier right like when you want to change your life sometimes if you move to a whole new city and kind of start over it's a lot easier for some reason right this is kind of the same with me once I kind of like got my life back and got my time back and was able to actually just be with myself again and

live my life in the way that I wanted to or if I wanted to go for a walk at 2PM I could do that once I started having that freedom and that ability to connect back to myself and that ability to slow down and be more present in my day I started to feel like I was reclaiming my feminine energy not because I stopped working and became a housewife but because of the way that it made me feel and again through this process of quitting my job I did have to let go of that belief

that like I always needed to be doing things and you know achieving things and all those things like that I had to let go of that belief because there was a period of time where I stopped doing that I was no longer focusing on those things so my mind had to start getting on board with the way that I was choosing to live my life and also another thing that I did um so I just kind of made this up myself but I feel like this is like a little exercise that everyone can benefit from

so when I was in the process of like healing my feminine energy and also just trying to like connect back to myself I did this thing where I got a journal and every single day at the end of the day I would write down my favorite things that happened that day what things happened that day that made me the happiest that gave me the most Joy not necessarily the most Joy but also the most satisfaction and then the goal was to do this for like 30 days and then look back and see if there were

any similarities what are the things that are truly making me happy and what's not and what's funny is after doing this for about a month or so I looked back at my journal and 80 of the things that made me the happiest and the things that I wrote down were the tiny little things like cuddling with my dog going to get ice cream with my husband at night or cuddling on the couch with him before bed or reading my favorite book or going for a walk most of the stuff that I put on there were

these tiny little moments in my day that most people would think were useless and through going back and reading that journal I realized wow if these are the things that are making me happy I must be a naturally very feminine person because it's just all screens feminine energy to me being outside in nature being with my animals prioritizing my relationships oh and another thing that I wrote down a lot was like being a bit more creative like doing more creative tasks so that was another thing that is like very much in your feminine energy so

after doing that exercise I was able to really recognize and make sure that I was doing things that made me happy in my day that I was prioritizing the things that brought me joy and that made me feel good and when you do that your feminine energy will naturally start coming back to you I mean the more that I made time to do the things that I love to do the things that I was passionate about to even just like cuddle with my dogs sometimes those things made me happy and those things helped me connect

back to that feminine side of me that I was really missing and yeah I just started prioritizing my joy I started prioritizing the things that really really truly made me happy that doesn't mean that I wasn't ever disciplined or I didn't ever work hard or I didn't ever do chores but I just made sure that those things those things that brought me Joy were a part of my life because there was a period of time where they weren't all of those things just got woof out the window and it got to a point where I

even honestly forgot what it was that I loved what it was that brought me joy and that's why I had to do that exercise but I really encourage you guys to do that it is really interesting to go back and look and be like okay what are the things that truly made me the happiest what were my favorite parts of the day you can learn a lot about yourself now another thing that I did that kind of goes along with this whole thing was that I started really focusing on romanticizing my life so in all

the little moments I would try to make those little moments more special so one thing that the feminine energy does is she makes little things big and so even when you're working you know you can light a candle and play some music that you love or when you're doing chores or you're folding laundry you can listen to a podcast that makes you laugh there are so many things that we do in our life that we can make a whole lot more enjoyable if we just put in like a little bit of effort in the front

end to make it that way you know you really have to remember that like it's pretty freaking crazy that we live on this Earth and that we have this opportunity to live our life and to experience what it feels like to wake up and live every single day that is a gift and an opportunity that we have and we have to remember to take advantage of that to live every day to the fullest to wear that special dress even when it's not such a special day to eat dinner on the nice plates even though it's

just you eating alone in your apartment this was one little thing I did that really really helped me to heal that like wounded feminine energy within me this really is just such a good tip though if you want to start getting more in touch with your fountain energy romanticize all of these little moments in your life make all of these little moments special make all of these little moments beautiful make all of these little moments more fun and you will start seeing more of that connection to your feminine energy so the next thing that I

did was I healed my attachment style so you know how there are different like attachment Styles in a relationship right there's anxious attachment there's avoidant attachment and secure attachment which is like the happy one you know healthy one now I was more of the avoidant attachment one which is actually more of the more masculine energy one the anxious attachment one is more of the feminine energy one I was very avoidant attachment and whenever there were conflicts in my relationships or anything like that I basically just like shut down I wasn't able to communicate I wasn't

able to show my emotions I definitely was not going to cry when I felt like things were getting difficult I would kind of back away in an effort to protect myself and I knew that I needed to change that one thing about being more connected to your feminine energy is just being more connected to your heart and your emotions and your feelings and being more open with them when the time is appropriate and even when it was just me and Cole and you know it was us just trying to have an honest conversation I couldn't

really do it if I felt like there was too much conflict I would shut down and that is not healthy feminine energy I very much just had like this masculine Shield over me and so the way that I fixed this or improved this was I learned about secure attachment and I just started acting as if I had secure attachment even though I didn't have that I started identifying as a person that had secure attachments even though there were moments where I wanted to completely shut down I wouldn't do that because I was acting as if

that's not how a person with secure attachment would act so for me personally I had to heal this part of myself because this just like shutting down and not being able to keep my heart open in these moments he was really disconnecting me from my feminine energy it wasn't allowing me to be the feminine energy in the relationship and whenever I try to make like big changes like this I can oftentimes do them very very quickly and that's because I'm able to like shift my identity so I know sometimes people really struggle with healing their

attachment style and this can sometimes take like a lot of time like several years but for me it only really took like a few months maybe even less because I was just so intentional about changing this I allowed myself to be more open I allowed myself to cry when I wanted to I allowed myself to be more vulnerable I allowed myself to feel loved and safe and secure and this made me feel a lot more whole and complete as a feminine energy woman next thing I did to heal my feminine energy was I stopped reading

and watching the news I just basically decided I was done with it especially with like 2020 that came around I mean I pretty much stopped doing this earlier but then I started watching the news again when 2020 happened because you know I wanted to stay up to date on what was going on and all that stuff and then I just realized like it was pointless I was basically going to hear about what was happening anyways either Cole was going to tell me or Instagram was gonna tell me there's not one thing that I ever really

missed and I just really started protecting my piece because you have to remember that the news is still a business they are still in entertainment business at the end of the day and they're constantly trying to get your attention and make you anxious to make you watch longer or read longer so that they can make more money so I just decided that I was no longer going to do that I have not really read or watched the news much at all all except for in the beginning of 2020 when all that stuff started happening but

besides that I really have basically stayed off of it and it has made a huge impact in how I feel and has made me feel less anxious it has made me feel more at peace and like I said going back to that original problem right I was in a constant state of fight or flight I didn't feel safe and the news perpetuated that same way of thinking so I really just prioritized my piece and living in my happy little bubble you have to remember that whatever we perceive in our life is our reality so I

decided that I did not want to have all of this negative stimuli being thrown at me every single time that I woke up in the morning it just wasn't healthy and so I cut that out next I started doing more playful things in my day I learned pickleball I started playing pickleball I still play Pickleball sometimes I need to play more of it it's a really fun game I started going to the beach a whole lot more this was when I was living in California but I started really prioritizing time at the beach because it

really just made me so so happy I could go play in the waves jump over the waves die before the waves get tackled by waves sometimes but it just kind of helped me to kind of get back in touch with more of that childlike self in a healthy way I was getting outside more I was even doing things like baking a whole lot more all of those things just really made me happy and helped me connect back to that playful side of myself and that playfulness is a really important part of feminine energy it's not

immaturity it's not being a child it's about being able to see the world in a light and fun way it's about being able to create pleasure and fun in your everyday life now the next thing that I did and I know I had mentioned this a bunch so I will just talk about this one briefly but I did get off of birth control pills and this was also another huge one for me it really helped me to just embrace my Womanhood again and to start getting back in touch with my menstrual cycles and that cyclical

nature that we all have as women and I know I've talked about cycle thinking a bunch as well so I'm not going to talk about that but I also started psychosin talking learning about cycle thinking and just getting more in touch with my body in that way learning about the strengths that I had in certain phases of my cycle and just seeing the beauty in our menstrual cycles you know learning to love them instead of hate them taking time to slow down when I did get my period honoring that sacred time another thing that helped

me to connect and heal my feminine energy was actually the work that I started doing I know I've mentioned this before but I did used to work more in finance and much more in that corporate space I worked for a big worldwide corporate company but now I work for myself and I do YouTube and things like that and what I do now is I learn and I create and I teach and I love it I am lit up by it and I truly do think that it is my passion and my work changed from just

getting things done and basically getting things done for other people to creating and making an impact and helping other people the feminine energy is the creation energy and so they love to create and The Feminine energy is lit up by creation and I was very disconnected from the side of myself before I always said that I was never a creative person and while I'm not like the most creative person in the world being creative makes me happy and it makes me feel more accomplished creating something makes me feel good it makes me feel satisfied even

if it's just videos like this so because the nature of my work changed the nature of my day change and I was all of a sudden putting my attention into things that I loved into things that Lit me up into things that made me happy and if you haven't gotten the theme yet or the hint yet that is a huge part of healing your feminine energy now the last thing I did to heal my feminine energy was I consciously spent more time with like-minded high Vibe women women who were trying to be their best selves

and really prioritize to their well-being I went to different like women's healing circles or women's events there was this Acupuncture Center back in southern California that's really really amazing but they had these girls night in events where basically on a Friday night it was like one Friday night a month you could just buy a ticket and go and it was a bunch of other like-minded women and you would do Community Acupuncture I think there was a woman there who did tarot card readings and you just kind of like talked and hung out and it was

just a really good time it was just like two hours of like-minded women being together and it was so incredibly healing and I never really went with a friend I mostly just went alone and I still had like a really good time I've also been to things like new moon circles and like full moon circles I personally really like astrology so like I'm into that kind of stuff but also just like prioritizing spending more time with women that's something that I have really started to do over the past like five years or so and I've

seen it transform my life you know you do become who you spend time with so if I was only spending time with like my husband and his friend and my brothers like that's not gonna make me feel the most feminine and I know I've talked about this before but that's because it is so important as women we need to be in community with other women it is healing for us and the more that you're around other feminine energy especially other healthy feminine energy the more that you will start to embody that as well okay Eli

there's actually one more thing that I wanted to talk about and the Sun is setting so I need to make this quick but I honestly just started loving myself more I started truly loving myself more now if you have trouble with this think about it this way imagine your childlike self imagine you being like eight years old or something like that see a picture of that in your mind how would you talk to her right you would naturally want to be very loving you would tell her that she deserves to be loved that she is

worthy that she is amazing and beautiful as she is or if you had a daughter that is what you would tell her but now imagine yourself 30 years in the future 20 years in the future think about how she would view you now she would be telling you the exact same things she would be saying that you are worthy that you deserve amazing things in your life that you deserve great love that you are a wonderful person that you are a beautiful person you have to start seeing yourself as that person who wants to love

on herself who wants to nurture herself and learning to just Embrace who I was and love who I was and love the things that made me special what made me unique that helped me to just feel more comfortable with who I was as a person and feel more comfortable in my own self and my own feminine energy the feminine energy wants to feel loved they want to feel cherished and that is not just the job of the man in your life it's also your job as well so I'm gonna wrap this up thank you so

much for watching I hope you enjoyed this video let me know your thoughts in the comments below give this a like if you liked it it really does help me out share this with a friend subscribe below if you haven't and I will see you next time bye