7 Types of People Stoicism WARNS Us About (AVOID THEM)

the great stoic philosopher Epictetus once said the key is to keep company only with people who uplift you whose presence calls forth your best you've probably heard the saying you're the average of The Five People You spend the most time with well today we're going to explore that idea through a stoic lens we will discuss the seven types of people who can derail your progress in stoic philosophy and how to navigate these challenging relationships before we begin I would appreciate if you would like the video so that you can help me to continue spreading the

stoic philosophy if you are not subscribed I recommend you to subscribe and activate the Bell so you don't miss any video type of people number one the complainer we all have that friend family member or co-worker who seems to find fault in everything whether it's the weather their job or even the food at a popular restaurant they never miss an opportunity to express their dissatisfaction now you might wonder why should this concern me I can just ignore them well that's easier said than done consistent exposure to such negativity has a draining effect on your mental

well-being it's akin to a leaky faucet slowly depleting your reservoir of emotional energy stoicism teaches us to focus on actionable Solutions instead of dwelling on problems for example imagine you're collaborating on a project with someone who is a perpetual complainer each meeting turns into an exhausting session of complaints without any constructive dialogue the impact the team's morale declines you're sidetracked from finding actionable Solutions and you'll likely find yourself increasingly disenchanted with the project and possibly even life in general so how does stoicism help us deal with a complainer there are several strategies you can employ

first limit your exposure to this individual whenever you can if that's not possible perhaps because they're a family member or colleague then your second option is to mentally distance yourself during their diatribes think of their complaints as a passing storm loud and unsettling but ultimately temporary and Powerless against the unmovable Mountain that is your own inner tranquility your third option is to steer the conversation towards Solutions or to change the subject to something more constructive to quote Marcus Aurelius you have power over your mind not outside events realize this and you will find strength this

Timeless stoic wisdom encourages us to guard our mental peace diligently ensuring that the negativity from chronic complainers doesn't deviate us from our stoic path of resilience and virtue type of people number two the drama magnet imagine you're navigating your life as if it were a ship sailing through calm Waters but then you encounter the whirlpool known as the drama magnet this individual seems to have an unending series of crises conflicts or controversies and like a Whirlpool they have an unsettling ability to suck you into their Vortex of Chaos you might initially find yourself attracted to

the drama magnets energy mistaking it for passion or excitement however you'll soon realize that being in their spheres like navigating a ship through a storm exhausting and dangerous now what makes dealing with drama magnets so tricky is that their crises can often feel like your own their chaos is infectious you might even find yourself embroiled in conflicts that you had no initial part in let's take a practical example you have a friend who has frequent fallouts with others in your Social Circle today they're not talking to Sarah tomorrow it's Tom your friend comes to you

for advice but you notice that this cycle never ends and suddenly you find yourself also at odds with Sarah or Tom because you tried to intervene in this case you could employ a strategy called reflective listening instead of offering advice or taking sides mirror their words back to them for example if they say I can't believe Sarah said that about me you could respond with so you're feeling betrayed by Sarah's words this technique allows you to provide emotional support without getting entangled in the drama yourself another approach and one that might sound counter-intuitive is to

become selectively unavailable stoicism reminds us to value our time highly and sometimes that means being unavailable for other people's crises especially if they're recurring without resolution turn off your phone during certain hours create Focus periods where you concentrate solely on your work or personal development and let it be known that during these times you're not to be disturbed to paraphrase Seneca true happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future this can be particularly helpful when dealing with drama magnets instead of anxiously wondering what crisis will happen next concentrate on the present

moment where you have control enjoy your life and don't let it be disrupted by someone else's drama make it a point to sail your ship calmly steering clear of whirlpools that threaten your Voyage towards personal growth and tranquility type of people number three the naysayer picture this you're an artist painting a canvas each brush stroke adds color depth and Life to your vision enter the naysayer they walk into your studio glance at your work and immediately begin to critique it are you sure about that color that doesn't look realistic you know most artists never make

it right their words like Strokes of gray paint start to dull your vibrant canvas this isn't your standard constructive criticism which can be valuable instead it's a persistent Aura of doubt and negativity for example let's say you're excited about pursuing a new career path you've done your research spoken to Professionals in the field and maybe even taken a few preliminary courses when you share your enthusiasm with the naysayer they quickly list all the reasons it won't work out the market is too competitive do you have the right skills what if you fail soon enough their

doubts start to feel like your own and the self-assured Vision you had starts to wobble now how do you deal with a naysayer especially when they might be someone close to you one unconventional but effective method is to ask them for advice rather than just sharing your plans or aspirations when people are put in an advisory role they're less likely to attack your ideas outright and may offer more constructive feedback another method involves flipping the script through a technique called positive confrontation instead of absorbing their negativity challenge them to think of solutions if they say

you'll never be able to switch careers at this stage counter with interesting perspective how do you think someone could successfully make a career change then this not only deflects the negativity but also encourages a more constructive form of conversation remember the words of the stoic philosopher epicteta we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak listening doesn't mean absorbing everyone's negativity it means Discerning valuable input from Mere noise when the naysayers start to Cloud your canvas with their shades of Doubt take a step back listen reflect

and continue painting your own life with the colors that speak to you don't let anyone turn your vibrant Masterpiece into a dull gray landscape type of people number four the victim imagine Life as a game of chess each player has the same pieces and the same goal to Checkmate the opponent's king you think strategically make some sacrifices and take some risks the victim however blames the board the pieces or even their opponent for every poor move they make in their eyes they're perpetually in Checkmate not because of their choices but because of some external Force

working against them their narrative is a never-ending tale of Woe with themselves cast as the helpless protagonist I can't get ahead in my job because my boss dislikes me or I can't get fit because I have bad genetics now it's crucial to note that some people face genuine hardships and systemic issues however the victim we're discussing uses their predicament as a permanent excuse refusing to take any responsibility for their actions or lack thereof you might find yourself entangled in their storyline perhaps as the supporting character who constantly needs to rescue them let's say you've spent

countless hours listening to a friend blame their endless string of failed relationships entirely on their ex-partners not only does this suck up your time but it can also subtly encourage you to adopt a similar victim mindset in your own life so what's your move when dealing with a victim it might be tempting to become their savior offering endless advice and emotional support but the stoics would caution against this they'd recommend drawing a firm boundary to protect your own mental state you could employ a technique known as compassionate Detachment show empathy and kindness but don't try

to rescue them from situations they need to navigate themselves offer a listening ear but refrain from becoming their Perpetual Problem Solver Marcus Aurelius once said the best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injustice if you find yourself sucked into the victim's narrative resist the urge to become one yourself take control of your own game board make your moves and remember in the chess game of life being perpetually in Checkmate is often a choice not a fate keep your pieces moving forward make strategic sacrifices when necessary and play not for revenge or pity

but for growth and wisdom type of people number five the toxic positivist you know this person they're always exuding Sunshine rainbows and endless streams of emojis they're the ones telling you to just be happy when you're going through a difficult period dismissing your feelings and experiences with a flip pant wave of glittery optimism imagine your life as a garden there are flowers but there are also weeds and pests a toxic positivist however insists on ignoring anything that isn't a blooming rose got aphids on your leaves just focus on the flowers don't let negativity into your

garden they'd say while it sounds uplifting their approach can make you feel invalidated and disconnected from reality suppose you're going through a tough breakup you're sad confused and seeking some emotional balance the toxic positivist's advice there are plenty of fish in the sea just smile and be happy [Music] this sort of excessive positivity neglects the complexities of human emotion and the realities of life's challenges how do you cultivate your garden without letting the toxic positivists trample it with their indiscriminate sprinkling of Good Vibes only one strategy is to engage them in a discussion that Embraces

both light and Shadow if they say look on the bright side at least you have your health you could reply yes I'm grateful for my health but it's also okay for me to feel upset about this specific issue both can coexist you can also employ what psychologists call emotional granularity the ability to feel and differentiate between a wide range of emotions both positive and negative when the toxic positivist pushes you to just be happy take a moment to acknowledge and label your nuanced feelings I'm feeling a bit melancholic today due to X and that's okay

can be a liberating affirmation to reference stoic thought Seneca once said true happiness is to understand our duties toward God and man to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future notice the balance understanding duties which aren't always Pleasant and enjoying the present a stoic approach isn't about focusing solely on the positive or the negative it's about embracing life's complexity with Equanimity so the next time the toxic positivist sprinkles their confetti on your carefully tended Garden take a step back remember a garden needs both sunshine and Rain to flourish embrace your full emotional spectrum

and keep nurturing your garden with the richness and complexity it deserves type of people number six the manipulator picture your life as a movie script you're the main character and you have an idea of how your story should unfold where the twists are who your allies and mentors are and what your final Act looks like enter the manipulator the shadowy producer who subtly rewrites your script without you even realizing it until one day you find your storyline has veered off course the manipulator is skilled in the art of emotional or psychological maneuvering they might use

flattery guilt trips or even deceit to steer you in a direction that benefits them you might have a friend who always manages to get you to pay for dinner by saying something like you know I've been having a rough month and you're so successful it wouldn't mean much to you but would make my day better over time you find that your generosity has been taken advantage of but calling them out feels uncomfortable because they framed it as a favor to a friend in need handling a manipulator can be a tricky business one method to counteract

their tactics is what some experts call fogging this technique involves agreeing with any truth in the manipulator statements but refusing to be moved by emotional coercion if they say you're so successful you should cover dinner you could respond you're right that I've been doing well but let's split the bill as we usually do another approach is to set clear boundaries and enforce them if the manipulator wants you to lend them money or commit to tasks you're uncomfortable with learn to say no assertively keep your tone calm and your words clear I can't lend money but

I'm here to offer emotional support sets a boundary while maintaining the friendship drawing inspiration from stoic thought Epictetus warned us we cannot choose our external circumstances but we can always choose how we respond to them the manipulator thrives on your predictable reactions they manipulate your kindness your guilt or your desire for approval by choosing to respond differently you're taking control of your script again so if you find a manipulator lurking in your life remember that you're the one holding the pen your storyline is yours to write and while the cast may include a variety of

characters the protagonist's journey your journey should always be guided by your own values and decisions reclaim your script and don't let anyone manipulate your life's narrative type of people number seven the name vampire imagine your daily routine as a carefully crafted Symphony each instrument represents a task or commitment and when played together they create a harmonious balance but then the time Vampire joins in screeching off key drowning out your Melody and turning your beautiful composition into discordant noise the time Vampire is not necessarily malicious in fact they might seem quite benign it could be a

colleague who constantly interrupts you with trivial questions turning your productive workday into a series of fragmented moments or it could be a friend who invites you to countless social events that you're not interested in making you feel obligated to attend and drain your time and energy these interactions might seem inconsequential in the moment but the but the cumulative effect can be profoundly disruptive so how do you protect your Symphony from being ruined by a time Vampire one effective strategy is the Pomodoro Technique a time management method that involves breaking your work into intervals traditionally 25

minutes separated by short breaks during these intervals you make it clear that you're not to be disturbed this sets a boundary that protects your most productive times from being nibbled away if you find yourself dealing with a social time Vampire remember that saying no is not just okay it's essential for your well-being instead of offering elaborate excuses a simple I appreciate the invite but I can't make it suffices declining an invitation is not a rejection of the person it's an affirmation of your own needs and priorities in the words of Seneca life if well lived

is long enough stoicism teaches us that time is one of our most precious resources one that should be allocated wisely it's the canvas upon which we paint the portrait of our lives at and we should be highly selective about who and what deserves a stroke of our brush in the grand composition of your life make sure each note each instrument each Melody aligns with your greater purpose don't let the cacophonous intrusion of a time Vampire throw your Symphony into disarray hold the Baton firmly and conduct your life with purpose ensuring that every moment is a

note well played in your harmonious masterpiece as we reach the finale of today's exploration into the characters who can derail our path towards stoic resilience and wisdom let's not forget that self-awareness is key it's easy to recognize these types in others but the more challenging and enlightening task is to look Within are you perhaps unintentionally playing one of these roles in someone else's life remember stoicism isn't just about navigating the world it's also about understanding and improving ourselves if today's discussion has sparked a realization an epiphany or even just a bit of introspection I'd love

to hear from you in the comments section write your thoughts share your experiences and let's engage in a dialogue that enriches us all so until next time may your choices align with your virtues may your actions reflect your wisdom and may your life be the Masterpiece you're meant to create