Mom Kicked Me Out for Her New Family, Later When She Found Out I'm Successful, she Showed Up...

Mom kicked me out for her new family. Later, when she found out I'm successful, she showed up demanding college money for my siblings. When I refused, she hit me.

So, for context, my mother had me when she was 20, and my biological father was never in the picture for me. My mom told me that he had never wanted to have kids with her, and since they were just together for a couple of months at the time when she got pregnant, she had given him the choice to leave, and he had taken her up on that offer. She told me that her breakup with him had been quite bitter, so she had decided not to take any child support from him, and he hadn't been willing to offer any either.

So it was convenient for both of them to just never speak again. Thankfully, my grandparents were very supportive and were always there for her. That's how she was able to complete her education and then get a job.

She dated a couple of men when I was younger, and then when I was around 8 years old, she finally started dating Harry. She used to work with him at some point, and they dated for almost 3 years before she got married to him. Harry and I got along well enough; it was not like he and I were super attached to each other, but he didn't hate me, and we were just cool with each other's presence in the house.

Four years after they got married, my mom got pregnant, and everyone was really happy about it, including me. In hindsight, I probably should have seen what was going to happen in the future, but I was too caught up in the belief that no matter what, my mom would always be there for me. After all, she had been through a lot of hardships while she was raising me, so she was obviously not going to let it all go to waste and abandon me.

So even though we had started growing apart, and she had made it very obvious that she was distancing herself from me after she got married to Harry, I thought that it was probably just a temporary phase and things would get better again. So I tried my best to be there for her while she was pregnant, but she would always get very irritable whenever I was around. So I decided to make myself scarce just so it wouldn't bother her.

But I guess I hadn't made myself invisible enough because six months after she gave birth to her twins, she and Harry told me that they wanted to have a serious chat with me. They told me that now that they had two kids to deal with, they couldn't have me in the house as well. I think I had just turned 16 at the time, so I was still a minor, and they couldn't legally kick me out without getting into trouble.

So they tried to gently nudge me by telling me how hard it was becoming for them to support our whole big family on their limited income. I honestly don't think that two adults, one teenager, and two babies were impossible to support on the income of two web developers. They had been able to provide quite a comfortable lifestyle for us so far.

It was obvious to me that they were bluffing and they just wanted me out of the house. But even then, I tried to make suggestions that would prevent that from happening because I really didn't want to move away. I tried to tell them that I would take up a job if money was the problem, but my mother told me that more than anything else, she wanted to save money and other resources for the kids who actually deserved it more at the time, referring to the twins.

She didn't say that they needed this more; she said that they deserved to stay with them more than I did. And that was all that I needed to hear to help me make up my mind that I needed to get out of there because I was clearly not wanted. They hadn't even told me where I should be going after I left; all they had done was nudge me in the right direction because they wanted me to go, and they knew that I had enough pride to realize that I was not wanted.

So their plan worked. Technically, it wasn't even kicking me out in the real sense of the word since they hadn't forced me, but honestly, I would count it as the same thing because they had pushed me into a corner where I had my back against the wall, and I felt like I simply had no other option. After I left that day, I headed straight to my grandparents' place, and they were quite unhappy about what my mother had done but did not cut her off because they still wanted to be there for the twins.

My grandparents were getting old, so it was obviously not an option for me to rely on them financially, and I had to get a part-time job at 16. I would see my mom and Harry occasionally when they would visit my grandparents with the kids, but they rarely ever asked about me, and even when they saw me around, they were mostly very formal with me. It didn't feel like they missed me at all, and they actually seemed quite happier without me living with them.

Even my mother seemed way less irritable than she used to be, and it broke my heart, but I couldn't do anything about it. I stayed with my grandparents until it was time for me to start college, and even then, my mom had nothing to do with me, and I had to rely on a couple of. .

. Of friends to help me settle in my dorm, since my grandparents were obviously not young or fit enough to be doing that, I had to take out a student loan. Even for that, I had to ask one of my relatives to be the co-signer because my mom and Harry had declined for the same reason that they had kicked me out: they wanted to save their resources and their money for the future of their kids, since they had the twins pretty late in their lives.

I was lucky that one of my uncles had come to my rescue and agreed to be the co-signer as long as I promised him that he would never have to actually pay any money. So, I worked throughout college alongside completing my education in order to make sure that I did not end up defaulting on any payments after I graduated and would have a head start regarding money. After I started college, I pretty much had no contact with my mother anymore, and even at my graduation, it was just my grandparents who attended.

My mom did not even bother to congratulate me. Then, after I graduated from college, I started working and living separately because I did not want to be a burden on my aging grandparents anymore. It was very difficult for the first couple of years because I did not really earn a lot of money, but I had to cover rent, groceries, and utilities, and even start reducing my debt on my income while still making sure that I saved for the future.

I think that was what I would actually refer to as limited income, but thankfully that's not the case anymore. I worked my way up in the company, and it was not easy. It took me a really long time, but I'm in a relatively comfortable position right now.

I won't bore you guys with the details, but I'm pretty proud of how far I've come, especially considering the fact that I hardly had any help from anyone. I make a comfortable living, and quite unexpectedly, somehow, in spite of not being in touch with me for the past many years, my mom was able to find out about it. So, I'm almost 33 now, and I'm working in an upper management position in the same company that I started out in.

I received this huge honor of getting promoted about four months back, and very few people knew about it because I wanted to keep this private. One of the people that I did tell about this was my uncle because I wanted to thank him for becoming a co-signer on my loan application back when I was struggling to find a way to cover my college expenses. From what I know, he recently met my mom and Harry at some family get-together and told her to get in touch with me so she could finally congratulate me after so many years of keeping me away from her because I was finally doing well in life.

I'm sure that he had his heart in the right place, but it kind of backfired because she definitely did not reach out to me to congratulate me in any sense of the word. Anyway, the bottom line is that my mom found out, and she recently showed up at my house with Harry, demanding to speak with me. I've already mentioned that after I started college, I did not have any contact with her, and once I graduated, I decided that there was no point in hoping that someday my mom might come back to her senses and try to make things right with me.

So, I blocked her everywhere as well and completely cut her out of my life. She did not seem any worse off either; honestly, I don't even think she noticed. I hardly kept in touch with anybody from my family apart from my grandparents, who already knew that I did not like talking about my mom, so they refrained from speaking to me about her.

As for my uncle, I did not exactly keep in touch with him either, so I really had no idea that for the past couple of years, my mom and Harry had been doing really bad financially. I only found out about it recently when they showed up at my house and started telling me about how difficult everything had been for them. The only reason I had even let them in was because I had assumed that they were here to finally make things right with me, but I guess it was just wishful thinking.

Instead of congratulating me on how well I was doing, they started off by talking about how they had heard from my uncle that I had received this huge promotion and that I was one of the youngest people in such a position in my company right now. They were surprised that I hadn't told them anything about it. It was funny because I was surprised that they had expected me to even talk to them after so many years of no contact, let alone expect me to tell them good news about my life and my career.

They even told me that they were quite disappointed that I had cut them out of my life just because they had decided that they wanted to be there for their babies more than me, since they needed their time, money, and resources more than I would have as a teenager. They said that they had expected me to be mature about the whole thing and understand why their priorities had changed, but instead, I had started distancing myself from them after I moved in with my grandparents. Instead of being supportive of their decisions, I don't even know why they would expect me to be supportive of their decision to kick me out.

Out of the house. But, well, that's how they started off our meeting, after so many years, by trying to gaslight me into believing that I was somehow the bad guy for getting upset that they had kicked me out of the house so they could be alone with their babies. Then they did not even give me a chance to talk about my side of things and quickly moved on to talk about how difficult the last couple of years had been for them.

They started talking about how they had started their own business, but unfortunately, they had fallen flat on their faces since it failed to take off, and now they were trying to cover up their losses. But, unfortunately, since the twins were also at an age where they needed to start thinking about colleges and stuff, they needed money to cover the expenses of two kids, and they needed it ASAP. That's when I finally started to realize why exactly they had come to me: because they needed the money.

They wasted no time in getting to the point and even tried to sugarcoat it by saying that initially, they had been quite offended when they found out that I had been doing so well and hadn't reached out to them yet. But I could make it up to them by funding my siblings' education. I simply could not believe the audacity of trying to make it sound like they were doing me a favor by letting me make it up to them by covering the college expenses of two kids I didn't even know anymore since I had left them behind in my past.

So, I immediately told them that I was not going to be doing any of that, and it was downright offensive that they thought they could manipulate their way into something like this. I lost my temper with them and reminded them that they were the reason I had to pay for college and work throughout my years in college, because they refused to help me out financially simply because they wanted to save for the future of their kids, since they deserved it more than I did, according to their opinion back then. I had never questioned it, nor had I ever bothered them after they made it clear that they wanted to prioritize their twins and not me.

But now, since they had chosen who they wanted to prioritize and even kicked me out and refused to stay in touch with me for so many years, they had no right to expect anything from me, let alone financial support. They didn't even have the right to expect me to speak to them anymore. I told them that since they had wanted to save their money and resources for the kids that actually deserved it, they could now use that very same money that they had saved by kicking me out to fund their college expenses instead of trying to emotionally manipulate me.

Then I requested them to leave, because I was done with this interaction and had nothing left to say to them anymore. It had been pretty stupid of me to allow them to enter my house in the first place, believing that maybe they had finally come to their senses and shown up to apologize to me for how they had treated me for so long. When I started getting at them and telling them to leave, they started getting offended as well and told me that it wasn't like I was all innocent in this situation.

Their defense was that back when we had all been living together, I had always been very overenthusiastic and over-involved in their lives, and that I used to get quite annoying. I don't even understand how that's a real problem that they had with me. I was literally a teenager, and I was only trying to stay connected with my family when they were drifting away from me.

Then they started telling me that by rejecting their request right now, I was no better than them, because I was forgetting all those years that my mother had supported me and raised me on her own. This was my opportunity to make it up to her and help her out, but here I was, acting all ungrateful and disrespectful toward everything that they had done for me in the past. I thought that it was insanely dumb for them to bring that up, since back then I was literally a child.

There was no way that I could have chosen not to rely on them. Even if I had wanted to be less of a burden on them, I still would have had to rely on them financially, and it wasn't like they were doing me a favor. As soon as they thought that I was old enough to handle stuff on my own, they nudged me into leaving home and essentially just kicked me out, and then refused to even acknowledge my existence for almost the next 18 years.

Even after all of that, I couldn't understand how they had the audacity to demand that I help them out for everything that they had done for me in the past. Things got pretty nasty and personal in the argument after that, and I started threatening to call the cops if they did not immediately get off my property. So, after a while, they did leave, but my mother kept telling me that she had made a lot of sacrifices when she was younger just because she wanted to be a good mother to me.

And only once in her life had she ever expected me to understand her situation and allow her to prioritize other people rather than just me. She believed that I should have been more understanding instead of shutting her out for so many years. And now, apparently, I was the.

. . One is trying to paint her as the bad guy and not the other way around.

It's been messing with my head ever since, and I don't understand if I'm actually the one at fault and ended up expecting way too much from my mother, or if she is just gaslighting me. I'm mostly sure that I'm right, but just to be completely sure, I have decided to post on Reddit to ask you guys for objective opinions. I do find it unfair for refusing to cover the expenses for my half-siblings to go to college because my estranged mother and stepdad are not doing well financially at the moment.

**Edit:** I have spoken to my uncle and I have told him that what he did was not right or acceptable, even if his intentions were not bad. The impact of what he did was definitely not good. If he had not told my mother about what I was up to in life and given out my contact info and address without my permission, I wouldn't be in this situation at all.

He apologized to me profusely and told me that he had no idea that my mother would end up doing something like this because even he had no clue that they were struggling financially. Had he known that, he wouldn't have told them anything about my life. Even otherwise, he acknowledged the fact that it was not his place to talk to my mom about these things, and if we had wanted to sort things out on our own, we would have done so without his interference.

I do not plan on cutting him out of my life because, after all, it's not like he had his heart in the wrong place. Had that been the case, I would have been a lot more upset with him. But honestly, he just made a mistake.

Moreover, he is the reason why I've been able to go to college in the first place, because nobody else had been ready to step up and help me out by taking on the responsibility of becoming a co-signer on my loan application, except for him. If you think about it, had it not been for him, I might not have been in this position at all, and I don't want to be ungrateful to him. But I'm also not a doormat, so I made sure that I told him that what he had done was not right.

I think I struck the right balance, and whatever I did was fair enough. Things between us are completely fine. I'm not going to hold this against him because I think in some way, I kind of needed this closure.

I have also spoken to my grandparents about what's going on with my mom right now, and they think that I am in the right and have told me that they're going to try and get her inherited to get off my back. They have always been in touch with my mom because they didn't want to lose contact with their other grandkids, and that's quite understandable. While they can sympathize with what their family is going through, they don't think that what they're putting me through is right or justified.

So that's their stance on this, and I think it's fair enough. **Update One:** So, it's been almost nine days since I last spoke to my mom, and since then, she has taken it upon herself to constantly remind me of everything that she had done for me, right from when I was a baby, and email it to me every other day, probably to make me feel like I was indebted to her or something. I don't really understand what the point of any of that was because she was legally supposed to do everything that she did for me.

It's not like she did me a favor by raising me on her own, and it's not like she did it for as long as she was supposed to. She did it for as long as it was convenient for her. As soon as I started becoming an inconvenience, she and her husband decided to kick me out under the pretext of saving money and resources for their future and the twins.

Well, we are in the future right now, and the twins are grown up, so I think they should rely on themselves and not waste their time trying to guilt-trip and manipulate me. I had been ignoring the emails, but a couple of days back, I decided to write back to her and I told her all of this, whatever I have said in this post so far. Obviously, she did not take it well and started calling me ungrateful once again, and I just told her that she could call me whatever she wanted; it wasn't going to change the facts and the fact that she was a terrible mother, and that was the reason why I wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

After that, I blocked the email address that she had been sending me emails from, but she just created another one and started trying to bother me again, so I did the same with that one as well, and I'm going to keep doing it until she realizes that I'm not going to sit here and think about her when she never did the same for me. Honestly speaking, I'm really glad that we are having it out right now because I'm sure that it will all be over soon and I'll have the closure that I need. The only reason I had invited them inside my house and spoken to them that day was because I was still under the delusion that maybe they had changed, that maybe they were here to congratulate me and make things right with me.

But speaking to them reminded me that they were the kind of people who were even capable. . .

Of feeling such things like remorse, guilt, or shame, it helped me open my eyes to just how selfish and manipulative they are once again. Now, I have completely given up any hope of ever reconciling with them. Update: My mother showed up at my work earlier today, and I think that might be the craziest thing that she has ever done so far.

Thankfully, I was not at work today, so she left pretty quickly and failed in whatever she had been trying to accomplish. I had taken a day off because I was feeling kind of under the weather, and I'm so glad that I did because I’m sure that otherwise, had I been at work, she definitely would have thrown a tantrum or done something horrible to embarrass me. I found out about it when the receptionist called me to tell me that my mom had shown up at work, demanding that she meet me, and refusing to leave even after she had been told that I hadn't even come into work.

I was already pretty scared when I told the receptionist that I would speak to her in person because I really had no idea what she was going to do. But when they put her on the phone with me, I told her that I was at home and that if she tried to do anything funny at my workplace, I would sue her so hard that, let alone sending her kids to college, she wouldn't even be able to send them outside of their house out of sheer shame and embarrassment. I think that really scared her because I had tried my best to sound intimidating, and I guess that worked.

On the other end, she immediately told me that if I agreed to meet her in person, only then would she get out of my workplace. I told her that she was in no position to be making demands because I knew for a fact that she couldn't afford a lawsuit on her hands right now. If things got extreme, even my company wouldn't hesitate to sue her, and it would be a different conversation altogether because they are not going to be as lenient as me.

So, it would be in her best interest to just leave without making much of a fuss. After I said that, she handed the phone back to the receptionist, and I'm assuming that she left because after that, I did not get any calls or notifications regarding this from work. But it was definitely a close call, and I cannot afford something like this happening again, so I have decided to speak to a lawyer just so I can get to know if there are any preventive measures that I can take.

I don't know if this is grounds for a restraining order or not because it's not like she has threatened me, but I'm still going to talk to the lawyer and try and figure something out. Until then, I'm just going to have to hope that this recent interaction was bad enough for her to consider leaving me alone. Update 3: Hey, so I guess I don't need to worry about whether I should file a restraining order or not since I'm pretty sure we have grounds for it now.

Last week, my mother had shown up at my workplace, and I had somehow managed to get her off my back. After what happened this week, I think everyone should get a restraining order against her. A couple of days ago, when I came back home from work, I saw her standing outside my door.

I immediately told her that I was not in the mood to argue with her right now, and if she did not go away, I would call the cops. I even had my phone in my hand and was about to dial when she literally came running at me and tackled me to the ground, so my phone went flying out of my hands. She started trying to beat me up, and all this while, she was cursing at me continuously, blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in her life.

I was taken aback by how psychotic all of this was, so it took me a while to try and fight back. But when I did, it was very easy for me to overpower her because I work out, and I'm also a lot younger than her. Thankfully, my neighbors realized that something was going wrong and called the cops because of all the yelling.

They even came to my rescue themselves and held my mother down while we waited for the cops to arrive. When they finally did, I decided to press charges, so she's in a lot of trouble right now. I have also spoken to my lawyer and have filed for a restraining order against her.

From what I know, Harry has left with the kids to be with his parents, and I really don't know if he's going to be coming back anytime soon or not because my grandparents said that after he bailed her out that day, she had been charged with a misdemeanor. Since I was not seriously hurt, he had confronted her about what she had done and said that she couldn't be behaving like this, but she started fighting with him as well. I think she just snapped because obviously she's been going through a hard time, and she just couldn't accept that I was doing well in my life.

Honestly, she's responsible for whatever she's going through right now, and I refuse to feel bad for her. Soon enough, I’ll have the restraining order against her, and I have also been considering moving out of my house into a bigger one anyway since I'm now earning more. There is never a better time, and I think I'll finally start looking for options.

I really hope that my mother deals with whatever she's going through and tries to be a normal person because it's embarrassing to be related to somebody like that. Even my grandparents have told me that they don't want to associate with her anymore because she has been pretty rude to them as well, so, you know, she only has herself to blame for everyone distancing themselves from her. Anyway, that's none of my concern.