My Ex-In-Laws & Parents Cut Me Off Immediately After Seeing That My wife Cheated On Me With The.....

my ex-in-laws and parents cut me off immediately after seeing that my wife cheated on me with the better brother who they all adored and left me in the dirt but things seem to have gone South because they're all suddenly calling me non-stop wanting to come see me because brother is leaving for another woman so it's my responsibility to come take his place again because it's my duty as a man I never thought I'd be sharing this story but recent events have pushed me to a breaking point and I need perspective from this community my ex-wife

Julie 34 female and I were married for 8 years before everything fell apart we met in college dated for 3 years and had what I thought was a solid happy marriage Julie was Charming dependable and good-look the type of person people would look at and think wow he's lucky we shared common goals she was always supportive of my career and everything just felt right I thought we had something solid and I never imagined in a million years how wrong I was growing up I was always the responsible one in the family my parents would praise

me for being the Dependable mature son who would make a good husband one day on the other hand my younger brother Luke was The Golden Child he was handsome charismatic and the life of the party my parents adored him and it felt like everyone who met him was instantly Charmed by him but I never really thought about it too much because he was my brother and I loved him sure my parents always seemed to focus on him but I just brushed it off as typical family Dynamics I thought the whole perfect sun thing was just

the way they saw him looking back maybe I should have seen the warning signs Luke was around us often because our families were close and he and Julie got along well too well as it turns out out I came home early this one day from work because I wasn't feeling well the house was quiet and I noticed one of Luke's bags in the living room at first I thought he must have just come over to visit but as I walked down the hallway I could hear them talking in our bedroom my heart sank but I

told myself to calm down to not jump to conclusions but when I opened the door and saw them it was like my entire world just crumbled around me I'll never forget the shock on their faces when they saw me standing there it felt like I was stuck in a nightmare I barely remember the confrontation I think think I was too shocked to process it all in real time I left the house that day with whatever I could grab and I didn't look back that should have been the worst of it but somehow what happened afterward

hurt even more when I reached out to my parents hoping they'd support me through the worst moments of my life I was met with absolutely zero reaction instead of comfort they gave me some patronizing speech about how marriages are complicated and how maybe I had pushed Julie away they even suggested that Luke was doing her a favor by showing her real love my own family acted like I was the one who had messed up like I'd somehow driven Julie into my brother's arms in the days that followed things only got worse Julie's parents whom I'd

grown close to over the years took heride without question they were completely Charmed by Luke treating him like the perfect addition to the family I tried reaching out a few more times but eventually I got the message loud and clear I was completely done I was completely alone both families stood firmly behind Julie and Luke I was disposable to them easily replaced by someone they thought was better suited for the role of husband and son-in-law the divorce process was quick and brutally cold I couldn't bear to keep anything that reminded me of Julie or the

life we'd shared so I left most of it behind I moved into a tiny apartment trying to figure out how to rebuild my life with no support I lost nearly everyone in my Social Circle because thanks to my family's influence and connections Julie and Luke managed to paint me as the bitter unstable one and Luke is the one who saved Julie for me but somehow I got through it I threw myself into work and slowly started meeting new people people who didn't know about the mess that had become my life I found new friends a

couple of neighbors who were kind and over time I began to rebuild I'd always thought I needed my family to feel whole but I learned that I could be okay on my own I found the kind of strength and Independence I didn't know I had and even though it was incredibly hard I was proud of myself for getting through it just as I was starting to find peace things took a wild turn out of nowhere my phone started blowing up with calls and messages from my parents from Julie's family at first I ignored them thinking

it was some kind of sick joke or maybe just someone checking in because they felt guilty but the calls kept coming so I finally listened to one of the voicemails what I heard left me absolutely floored Luke had left Julie he'd apparently met someone else another woman who had caught his eye and walked out on Julie without so much as a goodbye and now with Julie left heartbroken both of our families were scrambling to put the pieces back together and who did they think should fill in the spot Luke had left me of course I

was the rightful husband they said they actually thought I should go back to Julie and take my place as if I was some kind of backup plan waiting in the wings the messages were full of emotional manipulation disguised as concern at first they were begging me to come back and forgive them but then their text started sounding insane they kept saying it was my duty as a man to give Julie a second chance that forgiveness would show how strong I was my dad even said it was a chance to prove my worth as a son

as if I hadn't already spent years bending over backward for this family that tossed me aside Julie's family chimed in too saying that she was lost without me and that I should come back to keep the family together it was as if my own pain my own betrayal didn't matter all they cared about was Keeping Up Appearances as though I should somehow just forget that they'd all abandoned me I've been so angry because of this after everything I'd gone through losing my family my wife my Social Circle these people thought they could just call me

back as if I owe them something as if I hadn't been discarded and replaced like an old piece of furniture and the worst part was they acted like I should be grateful for the chance to come back for a while I debated whether I should confront them part of me wanted to scream at them to let them know how deeply they'd hurt me and how absurd their request was but Another Part Of Me knew that they wouldn't understand they never saw me as a person with feelings just as someone who could fulfill a role they

needed confronting them wouldn't change anything they'd twist it around somehow make it about them or tell me I was being dramatic so I've been ignoring the calls trying to find some peace in the life I've built for myself but they have been bothering me this whole time every few days I'll get another voicemail another text message and it drags me back to that place of anger and hurt they don't see me as a person with my own life and pain they only only see me as a convenience someone who can patch up their mess it's

been exhausting and I'm so tired of feeling like I'm the only one who sees how messed up this all is honestly I know I'm not wrong for refusing to go back but part of me wonders if there's something I'm missing should I confront them and try to make them see the damage they've caused or should I just block them all and let them deal with the mess they made I know I've come a long way but this whole thing has brought up so many Old Wounds that I thought I'd healed so Reddit what am I

supposed to do here should I even bother trying to explain to them how much they've hurt me or would it just be a waste of time update one hi guys I wish I could say things have gotten better but honestly the situation has only gone from bad to worse ever since I posted my inbox has been flooded with more messages and calls from my family and Julie's family and it's been a nightmare trying to keep up with all of it my phone buzzes with notifications all day to the point that I'm starting to dread even

looking at it I've tried blocking numbers but somehow they keep finding ways to reach me whether it's through new numbers or emails it's like they determined to wear me down but what really took me by surprise was a call from Julie herself I usually don't pick up calls if I don't recognize the number but this time I did I thought it might be work related or maybe a friend but the minute I heard her voice my stomach dropped it was Julie and she immediately started in on what sounded like a pre-planned speech she began by

saying she was deeply sorry and that she realized she' made some terrible mistakes I could hardly believe the audacity of it all she talked as if she had just forgotten to pick up milk on her way home not destroyed our marriage by sleeping with my own brother she kept going saying we owed it to each other to work through this and that we had years of History together that shouldn't just be thrown away hearing her say that after everything she'd done was like a punch in the gut the nerve to bring up our 8-year marriage

as though it was something I was obligated to cherish she said we both owed each other this chance to reconcile to pick up the pieces and see if we could find a way back to each other I almost laughed out loud at the Ridiculousness of it it was as if she thought a few apologies could somehow erase the Betrayal the loneliness and the utter Devastation she' caused me she went on talking about how much she missed the stability we had and how she realized that now that Luke was gone she truly wanted to settle down

the whole time she kept using words like we in our life and our history as if she had any right to talk about us anymore I just sat there completely stunned and barely managed to say anything because every word she spoke was just making me angrier and angrier when I finally interrupted her and asked why now why do you care now that he's gone she gave me some pathetic excuse about realizing what she'd lost and how she thought I'd be strong enough to move past it and take her back strong enough as if strength had

anything to do with putting up with her betrayal after I hung up on her the messages from my dad started pouring in even more relentlessly they actually had the nerve to say that now that I had Julie begging for forgiveness it was proof that she was sorry and that I should see this as some kind of Victory or a sign that I should go back to her my dad even said isn't it enough that she's asking for a second chance it made my blood boil they were talking as if Julie's pathetic attempt at reconciliation was

something I should be grateful for something that should make me feel validated or worthy they seemed completely blind to the the fact that I was the one who had been wronged that I was the one who had been tossed aside like nothing I kept wondering how could anything be enough How could a few words erase everything she'd done did they really expect me to just jump back into her arms and pretend that none of it had happened out of sheer frustration I ended up calling Luke I had no idea what I was even going to

say to him I just needed to get it out he didn't pick up so I left a voicemail telling him that this entire mess was his doing and that he should be the one dealing with it I reminded him that he had broken apart my marriage and my life and that it was up to him to explain himself to our parents and to take responsibility I was so Furious that I ended up sending him an email too just so that he couldn't ignore me I laid it all out Point by Point reminding him of every

betrayal every instance where he could have chosen to stop what he was doing but didn't I was angry and hurt and I didn't hold back of course Luke never responded typical he'd caused this chaos torn apart two families and walked away without a second thought and now he was off with some new woman probably not even thinking about the destruction he'd left in his wake he'd left me to deal with the Fallout while he got to walk away scottf free and here I was Fielding calls and emails from family members who still somehow believed that

I was the one who could fix it all it's like they couldn't grasp the idea that I wasn't some disposable piece they could just pick up and drop whenever they felt like it one particularly awful call came from my uncle who had always been one of the few people I trusted in my family he was practically begging me to see reason and told me that people make mistakes and that real forgiveness means giving people another chance he told me that as a man it was my duty to be forgiving to show Grace in the face

of hardship I felt so betrayed even by him it was like he was saying that my pain my heartache didn't matter as much as maintaining some false sense of Harmony I was so shaken up that I couldn't even respond I just hung up and cried I wish I could just cut them all off but it's so hard despite everything part of me still feels tied to them still craves their acceptance or approval I know it's not healthy and I know they've shown me who they are but I can't deny that it hurts it's like a

part of me is still that little boy who just wants his parents to love him unconditionally even though I know now that they never truly will and that realization is almost as painful as the Betrayal itself so here I am feeling lost all over again I thought i' moved past this that I managed to put the pieces of my life back together but they keep dragging me back part of me wants to confront them to tell them all exactly what I think of their so-called family values but Another Part Of Me wonders if it's even

worth the energy they've shown me who they are and I know deep down that no amount of explaining will make them see me for who I am or respect my boundaries but it's hard to walk away completely when they keep pulling me back right now I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally I feel like they're trying to erase everything I've worked for every bit of peace I fought to find I know I shouldn't let them get to me but it's hard it's so hard not to feel like I'm the one who's somehow in the wrong even though

I know logically that I'm not update to it's been a few weeks since I last tried to wrap my head around everything and honestly nothing has settled down if anything it feels like someone hit the gas pedal on the drama and I'm just trying to hold on the calls texts and emails from my family and Julie's family got so bad that I finally decided to cut them all off I blocked their numbers emails and even their social media accounts it wasn't an easy decision I needed some kind of boundary any boundary because my head was

spinning for a few days I actually felt like I'd won a small battle my phone wasn't lighting up every 5 minutes with another attempt to Guilt Trip me and for the first time in months I could just exist without their noise in the background but of course that peace didn't last long nothing about this situation seems to let me breathe for long a few days after blocking everyone I came home from work tired and just wanting to crash and there he was my dad just standing outside my apartment like it was the most normal thing

in the world my stomach dropped I had never told him where I moved after the divorce so the fact that he somehow tracked me down felt like a huge violation of my privacy for a second I thought about pretending I hadn't seen him and just turning around but I knew that would only delay the inevitable if I didn't face him now he just keep coming back until I did the whole thing was so classic dad like a master class in emotional manipulation he started talking about how the family was falling apart that Julie was miserable

and that Luke's absence was a wound no one knew how to deal with he kept saying how family is everything as if that meant I had some kind of obligation to fix everything just because we were related he went on about how it was my duty to put the past behind us because that's what families are supposed to do he even said Christmas was coming up and it would be the perfect opportunity to all get together and make things right I couldn't believe the nerve of it all this was the same man who stood by

while my wife and brother destroyed my life and now he was asking me to be the one to patch things up I felt like my head was going to explode it was so frustrating but it was also exhausting I just stood there trying my best to keep my composure while he went on and on about forgiveness and moving forward by the time he finally left I felt like I'd been rung out like an Old Rag it was such a painful reminder of where I stood in my family's priorities definitely nowhere near the top that wasn't

even the worst of it not long after that little Ambush I got an email from Julie I hadn't heard from her in a while so when I saw her name pop up in my inbox it felt like a slap in the face her message was short but it was calculated she said she understood why I was upset and hoped we could have a conversation to clear the air oh and just to make it worse she attached a picture of us from our wedding day that picture used to make me smile but now it made my

stomach turn I deleted the email without even thinking twice there was no way I was going to let her back into my head like that no matter how sorry she claimed to be and then just when I thought I'd seen it all Luke reached out his email came out of nowhere with the subject line I'm sorry for half a second I thought maybe this is it maybe he's finally going to own up to what he did but no his so-called apology was just a pile of excuses he wrote about how he never meant to hurt

me how his relationship with Julie just happened because they were in love as if that somehow made it okay and if that wasn't bad enough he actually had the audacity to say he hoped Julie and I could get back together he said he was rooting for us to find happiness again as if his Blessing meant a damn thing to me anymore I was so angry I could barely see straight how do you even respond to something like that spoiler you don't I deleted his email just like I deleted Julie's there was no point in engaging

with someone who was so completely oblivious to the damage they had caused it felt like they were trying to rewrite history like nothing had really happened like their actions had no consequences but I wasn't about to let them Gaslight me like that these past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life the Betrayal the pressure to forgive the constant manipulation it's all taken a huge toll on me therapy has helped but sometimes progress feels painfully slow it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when everything around you seems

to keep pulling you backward but I'm trying if nothing else this whole mess has taught me how important it is to put myself first even when everything else is screaming at me to do the opposite with the holidays coming up I know things are going to be tough the whole family togetherness thing feels like it's going to be shoved in my face at every turn but for the first time I'm not going to let that dictate my decisions I've spent too long trying to keep the peace trying to make everyone else happy at the expense

of my own well-being it's time for me to take control and make choices that are good for me even if that means upsetting a few people along the way it's not easy though there are still days when the guilt Creeps in I think about all the messages I've ignored all the people I've cut off and wonder if I'm doing the right thing but then I remind myself of everything that happened everything they did and I know that this is what I need I'm learning that I don't owe anyone my peace my happiness or my mental

health I'm learning that it's okay to walk away from people who don't respect my boundaries no matter who they are the road ahead is still uncertain and and I know there will be more challenges especially with the holidays looming but I'm not going to let the past dictate my future update three hi everyone I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone here for your kind words advice and support reading through the stories of people who've gone through similar situations has been such an eye opener it's comforting two to know that I'm not alone

in dealing with something as messy and painful as this it's like finding a safe space I didn't expect I never thought I'd find a community where I could feel so hurt but here we are and it honestly means a lot to me I honestly didn't think things could get any worse but I've learned that life's pretty good at surprising you and not always in a good way since my last update things have taken another turn it feels like every single person involved has decided that they're not going to back down instead of backing off and

letting me heal they've just doubled down on their efforts to Guilt Trip manipulate and pressure me into going back to a situation I've worked so hard to escape it's like the chaos is never ending and I'm constantly fighting to keep my peace intact the first major red flag was a letter I got in the mail from Julie's parents about a week ago at first I thought maybe this was an attempt at reconciliation or at least an apology for their part in all of this but no the letter was nothing but accusations they went on about

how selfish and immature I was for not forgiving Julie and for not putting the family back together according to them my refusal to engage was somehow making everything worse for everyone else like somehow it was my responsibility to fix a mess that they all contributed to but the real kicker was at the end of the letter when they threatened to expose me to our mutual friends they said if I didn't do the right thing and talk to Julie they'd ruin ruin my reputation and paint me as the villain seriously what exactly were they going to

expose did I set boundaries that I refused to forgive a woman who cheated on me with my brother it was infuriating to say the least and honestly it just made it crystal clear I could not trust these people I had to protect myself from them no matter what then Julie decided to take it to the next level I was at work one day minding my own business when one of my co-workers came to tell me that someone was waiting for me in the lobby at first I thought it was just a delivery or maybe a

friend stopping by unexpectedly but no when I walked out there she was Julie standing there like some romcom protagonist holding a bouquet of flowers my stomach sank it was the last thing I needed and it felt like the entire world had stopped why did she think this was okay it wasn't even just the flowers it was the fact that she was at my workplace my safe space after I told her again and again that I didn't want her in my life she completely disregarded the boundaries I had set acting like a bouquet could somehow fix

everything she destroyed and it wasn't just awkward for me it was embarrassing my co-workers were watching and I could feel their eyes on me making this whole ridiculous scene worse Julie of course didn't seem to care she kept blabbering on about how sorry she was and how much she missed me as though all that mattered was her feelings she said we were meant to be together as if me standing there hard in pieces didn't prove the opposite it felt like she was rewriting the story in her favor playing the part of the heartbroken hero when

really she was the one who caused all of this it was selfish and honestly it felt like she was trying to Gaslight me into feeling bad for her instead of taking responsibility for her actions I was so angry but I had to stay calm I told her she needed to leave immediately that this wasn't the place for her apology she ignored me so I walked back to my office shaking with frustration I locked myself inside trying to regain my composure I called security to remove her I didn't want to escalate things but at that point

it was clear I had no other choice I had to protect myself again later that night I made a decision I never thought I would have to make I filed for a restraining order against Julie the idea of doing this of having to get legal protection from someone I once loved was heartbreaking but I knew it was the only way to keep her out of my life for good I couldn't just sit around and let her keep showing up invading my space and making me feel powerless I had to take control and my family they

haven't stopped either even though I've gone no contact with them they found new ways to try and reach me one of my cousins someone I haven't spoken to in years sent me this long message about forgiveness and how everyone missed me of course she didn't mention the fact that none of them cared about me when I was in the middle of dealing with the Betrayal another distant Uncle chimed in with an email about how I needed to be the bigger person and let go of my anger it's crazy to me that these people who weren't

even involved in the Betrayal feel like they have the right to tell me how to heal they have no idea what I've been through but the hardest part the part that's been the most painful is my dad despite everything despite our last confrontation where I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with this mess he's still trying to guilt me into coming back a few days ago he left me a voicemail saying I was tearing the family apart by refusing to forgive Julie and Lucas he didn't even acknowledge the pain they caused me all

he cared about was how my actions were affecting them it's hard not to feel drained by all of this every time I think I'm getting some distance from the chaos someone finds a new way to drag me back in but through all of it I've come to realize something important I deserve better I deserve better than Julie better than the toxic Dynamics in my family and better than the life they tried to force me into I've moved into a new apartment that they don't know about I've locked down my privacy even more new phone number

tighter Security on my accounts it's sad that I've had to go to these lengths but it's necessary for my peace of mind therapy has been my lifeline my therapist has helped me understand that it's okay to protect myself that cutting off toxic people isn't just acceptable it's essential progress is slow and some days it feels like I'm barely hanging on but for the first time in a long time I'm putting myself first and that's something I've never done before