Elon Musk's Threats on Federal Workers Cause White House Chaos, Trump Shows Off Mysterious Bruise

-Welcome, everybody. Sit down. Enjoy yourself.

We got to get this show on the road. Some people have a plane to catch. [ Laughter ] Welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody.

Thank you for being here. [ Cheers and applause ] Let's get to some news, guys. Eight years after the epic concert disaster that was Fyre Fest, tickets just went on sale for Fyre Fest 2.

[ Laughter ] Yeah. Tickets are now on sale, and some cost up to $1 million. -Ooh!

-Even the people who invested in Hawk Tuah crypto think this is a bad idea. [ Laughter ] Do you remember the meal from the first Fyre Fest? Look at this.

That was the meal. [ Laughter ] Don't worry. This time it's going to be different.

The cheese will now be completely melted. [ Laughter ] But Fyre Fest creator Billy McFarland seems pretty optimistic this time around. Watch this.

-We might have a professional skateboarder do a demonstration. You might have an MMA champion teach you techniques in the morning. -And you say "we might have.

" Are any of these for-sure haves? Are they booked? -So, I think what makes Fyre so cool is that we are selling the experience of Fyre.

I want to be one of the first festivals that can sell out with no artists. -But you do have them booked? -Uh, we are announcing the artists over the next few months, so I'm not in charge of booking the talent.

[ Laughter ] -So the answer is no. No one is booked. It's like if Coachella promoted their festival with this -- TBD, TBD, TBD, TBD, TBD.

[ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Some -- Some political news -- There is mass confusion among federal workers after Elon Musk said that he was giving them another chance to justify their jobs or be fired. But the White House is now saying that responding to Elon's request is voluntary. [ Laughter ] It's confusing.

When you walk into the White House and say, "Who is in charge? " everyone just shrugs like they're working at Lids. [ Laughter ] Meanwhile, everyone's talking about this.

Yesterday Trump was photographed with what looked like a giant bruise on his hand. Take take a look at this photo. Mm.

[ Audience oohs ] Yeah. Either that's a bruise or he was testing different makeups at Sephora. [ Laughter ] It's not great when you have the same medical symptoms as a banana, you know.

[ Laughter ] Meanwhile, I saw that Joann Fabrics was going out of business and closing all of its stores. [ Audience awws ] Yeah. Now, your mom knows how your dad feels about Hooters going bankrupt.

[ Laughter ] Well, some entertainment news, you guys -- Last night was an all-new episode of "The Bachelor. " One of the most dramatic scenes was a big confrontation between Dina and Carolina. Now, if you missed it, don't worry, because here to re-enact that scene with actual lines from the show are the Roots' own Tariq and Questlove.

Guys? [ Cheers and applause ] -[ Sighs ] Alright. Thanks, Jimmy.

Tonight I'll be playing Dina, a 31-year-old attorney from Chicago who's confronting Carolina. -And I'll be playing [Spanish accent] Carolina. .

. [ Laughter ] [Normal voice] a 28-year-old public relations producer from Puerto Rico who's getting confronted by Dina. -Okay, great.

Whenever you're ready, take it away. [ Drmatic music plays ] -I don't want to pretend to be happy that I'm not getting a one-on-one. -Well, it's especially disheartening to me, Carolina, when I advocated so hard for you only to then see you act like a little damsel in distress.

Then you grab Grant today. -I did not grab him. -Do you not have free will?

Like, could you not stop a conversation? Do you not have that free will? -No.

-Okay. Then amazing. It's -- It's the lack of accountability for me.

And I stood up for you for an effing reason. And you sit here and say you don't care. -Oh, when did I say that?

-You literally just said you don't have free will. And then you decided to monopolize Grant's time. -I did not know that it was going to start raining, Dina.

I can't account for the weather gods. -Like, I have a soft spot for you. Okay, I had a soft spot for you.

And then you act like you don't care. -Because no matter what I -- -No, no, no, no, no, no, Carolina. [ Laughter ] You grabbed him.

-But I did not grab him. -Oh, my God, he grabbed you. You grabbed him.

Does it matter? -It does! Actually.

I have to go. -Are you going to talk to Grant? Because that would be crazy.

-I guess I'm ♪ crazy evil ♪ -Oh, my God. [ Cheers and applause ] There you go. That is unbelievable.

That is fantastic. Questlove and Tariq, everyone, right there. That is -- [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, no.

Oh, my goodness. -Wow! -Well, guys, due to the bird flu, egg production has hit a nine-year low.

Yep. Thankfully, I just saw an ad for a new product that I think should help. Take a look at this.

-Bird flu got you cooped up this winter? Introducing the only medicine on the market made especially for birds. Theraflew.

[ Chicken clucks ] Just listen to some happy customers. [ Chicken clucking ] [ Hawk screeches ] [ Pigeons cooing ] -[ Speaking gibberish ] [ Bell tolls ] [ Laughter ] -Theraflew for birds or people! Whatever.

The FDA is gone. -Aw. Isn't that interesting?

[ Cheers and applause ] And finally, a French cheese company set a world record by cooking 4,800 pounds of cheese fondue. The cheese will now be stored for three months and then served on white bread at Fyre Fest 2. We have a great show.

Give it up for the Roots, everybody. ♪♪ -♪ The man at hand to rule the school ♪ ♪ To preach and teach the blind ♪ ♪ To find their way from A to Z ♪ -What a show we have for you tonight. She's a very talented actress who produced and stars in the highly anticipated new series "Running Point," which begins streaming on Netflix this Thursday.

Kate Hudson is here tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] It's very funny. It's great.

And then he is the Emmy-winning host and executive producer of "Survivor. " Oh, that's my favorite show. Season 48 premieres tomorrow night on CBS.

This is the season. -Really? -Oh, this is the one.

Yeah, I already heard. This one's going to crush. -Crush it?

-No, it's my favorite show. And my kids are into it, too. -Really?

-Yeah. Now we're -- So we're up to season eight now. -12?

Oh, eight. [ Laughter ] -No, they want to watch it every night. I saw Winnie the other day.

I go -- We're about to leave. And she was just -- She was like -- She was doing this. And I go, "What are you doing?

" She goes, "I'm practicing for 'Survivor. '" [ Laughter ] -Aw! -She just -- We left her there.

We just -- You got to build up those muscles. Yeah. But anyways, premieres tomorrow night on CBS and streams on Paramount+.

Jeff Probst is joining us this evening. [ Cheers and applause ] My fave. Plus, she's a multi-platinum- selling pop artist.

. . [ Cheers and applause ] .

. . whose new album, "So Close to What," is out now.

Tate McRae is here! [ Cheers and applause ] And we got great stand-up from Caitlin Peluffo. [ Cheers and applause ] Very funny.

Guys, you ever look at yourself in the mirror and go, "Nah"? Well, here at "The Tonight Show," we're changing that. We're giving major glow-ups to lucky viewers all week long and turning those "nahs" into "yass.

" It's time for "Tonight Show" Yassify Week! [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Yassify W-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eek ♪ -Wow. -Whoo!

[ Cheers and applause ] -To kick things off, we asked people to nominate someone they thought was in need of a complete makeover, a total yass-ification. We got submissions from all over the world, and tonight's lucky winner is Brent Novi from Virginia. Now.

. . [ Cheers and applause ] Brent -- [ Laughs ] Brent's had a very busy day here at 30 Rock.

Take a look. -I'm Brent. -And we're his friends.

-And today, I'm getting yassified. Let's see my new look. Feather My Nethers.

[ Pop! ] [ Laughter ] In my personal style, I typically try and really play it safe. You know, solid colors, not too many complicated patterns.

-Brent used to choose his outfits based on what he thought Spider-Man would wear in the movies. On a scale from 1 to Yass, I would say that Brent's current wardrobe is probably around like a 4 1/2, 5. -Yass is on the inside.

Now we need to see the Yass on the outside. -Yass. -Yass.

-We have his friends right over here. Hey, guys. Are you doing well?

-Hi. -Hey. -Hi.

Hey. -All right. Well, it is time to bring him out.

Audience, are you ready to see the brand-new yassified Brent? [ Cheers and applause ] Here's Brent before. And here he is now.

Brent, come on out! Wow. [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. [ Laughs ] Wow! Wow!

Wow is all I can say! You look fantastic. -Thank you, Jimmy.

You too. -Oh, my gosh. Brent -- [ Laughs ] He has unlocked potential.

It is unlocked. Trust me. Brent, it's time for your friends to see -- Everyone, come with me.

Hold hands. Come on over. Come on.

All right. It's time for your friends to see you. Guys, take off your blindfolds.

[ Laughter ] -Oh, yeah! -It's so good. -Whoo-hoo!

-This is incredible. -What do you think? Right?

-Awesome. -Yeah! -His feathers -- His nethers have been feathered.

-Yes, there you go. And now for the most important reveal of all. Brent, are you ready to see yourself?

-Jimmy, let's do it. -Okay, here we go. Face the mirror.

3, 2, 1. Yassify! -Oh, my gosh!

[ Cheers and applause ] Oh, my God. -This is the new you. -I really -- -I think this is the new look.

This is the new you. I love it. -Thank you.

-Guys, we're yassifying people all week long on "The Tonight Show. Stick around. We'll be right back with Kate Hudson.

Say hi to your. . .

-♪ Yassified!