7 Life Lessons I Learned in 2020 - Depression, Healing, Weak Men & Self Love

ladies and gentlemen i know that i'm a little late to the party here and it was quite a while ago at this point that the clock struck 12 and we entered into the year of 2021 but better late than never so in today's video we're gonna go over the seven life lessons i learned in 2020 now i'm gonna share some extremely intimate stuff with you guys here so go ahead and drop a like down below if you appreciate the honesty and quite frankly i'm not sure how this video is gonna do you know it's a

little different from the normal sort of agency business content that i post go ahead and drop a like if you enjoyed it just let me know that um yeah you don't mind seeing content like this so with no further ado let's get straight into it now the first lesson i learned in 2020 is sometimes it is better to keep your opinion and your world view to yourself now don't take this the wrong way i believe the real pandemic in 2020 was people not standing up for what they know in their heart of hearts is wrong

and i will continue to voice my opinion and stand up for things that i know are right i'll continue to admit when i'm wrong and you know when i had a opinion that was changed because of the new information or new evidence that i found and i'll continue to do all those things because the search for truth is one of the most important journeys you'll ever go on in your entire life and you know those truths can change day by day month by month year by year and as i said you always get opposing information

and opposing viewpoints and that can lead to you changing your mind but really what i'm trying to say here is really just to conserve your energy and pick your battles i realize that there is no point trying to sway someone's opinion when they have a vested interest in the topic at hand or when they have a loved one for example who has a vested interest um there's a lot of different biases and obviously 2020 was a very divisive year um a lot of quite frankly just a lot of arguing a lot of disagreements a lot

of two sides going at it and here's the thing the amount of energy it takes to have a productive conversation with someone especially when you lay out so much evidence and so many facts you spend dozens of hours if not hundreds of hours collating and they still can't see it it's probably one of the most exhausting and demoralizing things on earth so 2020 really taught me that i need to pick my battles um and i think for me personally i also need to be a lot less intense when i speak you know when i speak

my truth to people for me it's like i almost just want to shake them and go look how can you not see this but at the end of the day that can end up you know putting someone's wall up and then no matter how good your information or your facts or whatever you're presenting they're always going to have that wall up and it's not going to be able to land furthermore 2020 was a year where i really had to question everything a lot of my viewpoints and a lot of my world view you know really

was challenged and molded to something totally different and one thing that i had to learn to do and i'm still continuing to do is once i've gone out there once i've done my dozens of hours of research if not hundreds of hours of research to make sure that once i've formed that viewpoint i constantly find opposing viewpoints to test that hypothesis and you know this can be an extremely dizzying experience you know part of me just part of me almost wishes that i stayed in my little lane and and you know just focused on because

here's the thing i i still don't watch the news uh i don't think you're educated after you watch the news i think you're quite the opposite in fact i don't think the news is a good place to get your information when some of their biggest sponsors are people who are under the firing line and have the billions and billions to spend to mold public perception you know throw 50 million that way throw 200 million that way and let the media mold a better narrative of them so here's the thing uh you know i've actually just

never watched news in my entire life uh obviously i have um i remember i remember my friend's parents would always tell me if you want to be educated you have to watch the news now i realize how foolish they are quite frankly if you want to get educated the last place on earth you should look is the news but as i said you know part of me wishes that i still didn't understand the difference between left right between republican and democrat between and to be honest i still don't care i'm quite frankly i consider myself

more of a libertarian uh i hate the left i hate the right um quite frankly i think they're both pretty scummy um actually government uh is pretty scummy yes i mean no possibly but anyways that's a conversation for another day i guess anyways my point is i definitely left 2020 um you know very similar to the movie the matrix where i was just like i kind of wish it's kind of like when you first find out about entrepreneurship or business and you're like oh wow so you're telling me i don't actually have to go to

university and end up with you know between 20 and 300 000 in student debt wow there's actually a better way i don't need a college degree no once you realize stuff like that you you can't unsee it and it was a very similar thing when i you know took a lot of time in 2020 as i said hundreds of hours to understand geopolitics and from a macro perspective what's going on in the world uh the different incentives yeah long story short like part of me wishes i i didn't know this stuff but the main lesson

that i took from 2020 is just don't try to argue with people um who are just dead set on their uh position and their opinion also never try to argue with someone who gets their information from general media or news because they said they're just uneducated so really what that means is now when i'm at a dinner table i kind of pick and choose my battles um depending on who i'm with i decide you know is there any point in throwing in a curveball throwing in an opposing viewpoint uh because i said some people are

just so dead set in their ways that you really need to pick and choose your battles so that was the first lesson i learned in 2020 the second lesson that i learned in 2020 is that good times create weak men by the way this applies to females too i can only just speak from uh my gender and you know my experience because the most dangerous time in a person's life is when everything's going well and same thing with uh a country or an empire or civilization you know the most dangerous time is when everything's been

going well and as i said i'm referring to men here because i can kind of only speak about that side of the fence but men are weaker than they've ever been and by the way i'm not talking here about toxic masculinity because i already know that someone's gonna try to point the finger and go ah you're perpetuating toxic masculine far from it i as you guys know any of you that have watched this channel in detail uh i believe in deep healing i believe in healing trauma i believe that men have emotions men cry men

go through very very tough times and unfortunately men i think account for something that's 78 of suicides being a woman in this world is extremely tough being a man in this world is extremely tough uh the only difference and i'm not saying this is right or wrong is that as a woman it's okay to express those emotions and show weakness as a man uh in a lot of ways it's looked down upon so i'm not talking about toxic masculinity here i'm talking about things like gluttony laziness sloth these are really just all sins you know

men are really having their energy zapped from things like porn video games the water that we're drinking the gmo foods that we're eating the emfs you know a lot of people will call you a crazy conspiracy theorist if you talk about this sort of stuff but just do your research you know it won't take you long to come to the same conclusion which is these things are leading to the slow and gradual death of strong men once again when i'm talking about strength i'm not talking about physical strength here and it's such a shame because

in society i feel as though it's become a bad thing or it's looked down upon to to be a strong man you know to be a man who leads who puts his foot down who knows what he wants you know i you know i almost feel as though that's looked down upon and um even growing up you there's so many things where society and the culture is trying to weaken you i find it um i mean disgusting quite frankly that teachers and by the way i know this because in school you know i'm sure you

remember in school you have sex ed uh i vividly remember you know teachers saying yeah it's totally fine to masturbate to porn once a day twice a day i cannot believe the teachers are allowed to put that into young teenagers brains look if you want to masturbate to porn once a day twice a day three times a day i mean [ __ ] there's there's people that do it 10 times a day stop it get some help be my guest but know what that is doing for your brain you know if you want to fry

your brain if you want to lower your testosterone um if you want to objectify women if you want to not be able to interact with the opposite sex which is already a huge huge issue in our culture you know these days men can only interact by texting or um or just a whole host of weird convoluted other methods to meet the opposite sex and interact with opposite sex these days you can't just go up and say hi [Laughter] [Music] so as i said to me it's absolutely crazy you know the way that we grow up

as as men these days um most of the time without role models i know i come from a fatherless home you know my biological father he was alcoholic abusive so you know he was out the picture before i was born my stepfather i saw maybe two months out of the year um and i kind of wish he wasn't around he was more of a you know he was a real tyrant like there was deep deep psychological scars so yeah he basically told me everything that a man of honor should not be so you know i

know what it's like to grow up in basically a fatherless home it's a real real issue these days you know men are growing up without fathers and like that's an issue like it is in the same way boys growing up in homes without mothers is a big issue you need both of them there but anyways i digress my point is i think it's never been harder uh to grow up as a boy there are so many challenges there's so many pitfalls um you know even once again going back to school i remember in my school

teachers would tell the children that it was okay to be overweight and i have a real problem with that to me that's like telling kids that it's okay to smoke i have no issue with whatever you want to do in your life but i find it absurd this culture we live in where we try to not hurt anyone's feelings try to make everyone feel inclusive and a whole host of other stuff ladies and gentlemen you would not go to a smoker and go it's it's good that you smoke if they want to smoke if they

want to do that with their life that's totally fine guys usually nine months of the year i won't drink and then three months in the year where i'm in a more party phase of that here is you know in the same way you go through seasons i go through seasons with my work ethic and the amount of time and effort that i'm putting into my business you know when i go out and i party and i drink and i can drink a lot i'm russian i know exactly what i'm doing i know that it's not

good for me it's not good for my health but i have that understanding and i still do it so as i said ladies and gents if you smoke if you eat you know fast food every day if you do drugs i don't i don't label anything as good or bad but i don't think you should be putting being overweight on a pedestal and almost feels like we live in a society as i said i know in my school it was like there's nothing wrong with that at all and it's like love yourself you know love

your body love your imperfections love your flaws but at the end of the day that is you know being overweight is a byproduct of being unhealthy and i don't think we should promote unhealthiness i think everyone should be strong and fit and by the way when i say strong you know i'm not talking physically you don't all have to be physically strong i'm talking about go out there challenge yourself physically get strong physically get strong mentally emotionally spiritually um so they said you know it's a weird weird world we live in you know i really

do worry about the future of men in society um i said you know there's just from so many angles uh you know porn video games um emfs uh you know your your phone right next to your genitals the way that that's just blasting your sperm count um erectile dysfunction the obesity epidemic and just the fact that more and more men you know suicides are going up and as i said those are primarily men so when i say strong men i'm not talking as i mentioned about toxic masculinity i'm talking about men that can tap into

their emotions and their feelings and to me that is strength and we're not teaching that you go to school you learn algebra we don't learn meditation and how to deal with anxiety and stress it's ridiculous so um i think 2020 for me was definitely a year where i kind of like looked around and i guess that's one of the reason you're one of the lessons that i learned um is i looked around and i was like wow like we are in a society of very very weak men um just to put it bluntly now from

a more you know it's very easy for me to look at everyone else and judge from a more uh internal perspective or you know or pointing the mirror back in myself same thing you know uh good times when things are going the best when there's a three four five month run where you know i'm talk on top of the world with my health and my fitness and my spiritual practice and my business inevitably you start to lose those disciplines uh traits that got you there in the first place so you know it's very easy for

me to judge everyone else um i do it myself i have good times in my life and those good times actually inevitably make me weak so ladies and gents that is the second life lesson that i learned in 2020 and by the way i apologize for every single person uh who came expecting me to just make some really like tumblr or instagram inspirational like seven life lessons i learned like these are some very heavy hitting ones i understand i apologize for someone you know they wanted something a little lighter um but that's just you know

how i looked at the world in 2020 quite frankly so the third thing that i learned in 2020 and it's something that i believed for a long long time uh was that you can basically heal yourself of pretty much any ailment naturally so for the first six months of 2020 you know my health and my nutrition and everything i'd say was that or what i believed at the time around uh you know an eighty percent an eight out of ten uh you know now looking back at it i guess with the lens that i view

nutrition um i'd say it was probably close to like a six out of ten um and you know the first half of 2020 i also experimented with a lot of fasts i did a lot of 48 hour fast 72 hour fasts and by the way whenever i post anything on my instagram about fast i you know i got the one or two idiots who are like that is dangerous or you should seek you know medical professional to help you just just random guys we have been fasting for thousands well not thousands tens of thousands of

years right it is in every single religious textbook and by the way i'm not actually religious myself i believe in i believe it's i believe it's called agnostic like where you're i believe it's called agnostic where like you believe in a god you just haven't chosen a religion yet i don't know point is like i'm not a devout christian or or muslim or this or that i just think there is a lot of wisdom in those religious texts ladies and gents if you've ever had a dog and your dog is sick if you remember correctly

do you know what happens your dog goes kind of hides away in a corner and doesn't drink or eat for a day or two and that is to allow its body to heal do you ever wonder why when you get the flu or when you're sick or anything like that you lose your appetite that's because your body does not want to deal with the effects of digesting food the thermogenic effect uh and the thermogenic energy uh expended to digest food when it needs to heal itself so fasting is is is such an incredible and such

a powerful protocol once again we just live in a weird convoluted world uh where you think you need to eat four meals or three meals a day to survive so basically that's where things were at in the first six months of the year uh then midway through the year i actually developed a chronic autoimmune condition and i got it pretty bad it's something called psoriasis um so you know a lot of people have psoriasis so it's it basically what it is is your body thinks your skin is under attack so it produces more skin cells

than is needed um but your skin actually isn't under attack and there's kind of scales to it i was definitely towards the worst end of it um and that came around uh kind of beginning of july um and was around for kind of mid mid june actually and i basically had it for around three months you know from the point of which or three and a half months from the point in which i got it um you know i spent basically six to eight weeks becoming uh the foremost expert on on this chronic autoimmune condition

i went to all the best doctors the most expensive doctors all of the harley street clinic doctors and uh dermatologists every single doctor and dermatologist told me straight to my face that's it it'll be with you for the rest of your life this is not something you can cure this is just something that you can manage yeah and then you know going online and doing more research and you know seeing even celebrities that have it kim kardashian is a notable example of that you know i'm sat here thinking sheesh you know this woman's got hundreds

of millions of dollars the best doctors in the world and you know it's been she's struggled with it for 20 years she can't even deal with it you know who am i to think that i can heal it naturally anyways long story short i end up going on something known as a carnivore diet um you know i don't recommend it for everyone um i'm i'm a big fan of it i believe that you know a ketogenic way of eating is the most natural way of eating uh you know especially for someone like myself you know

my origins are from russia please tell me where nine months a year i would find vegetables i'm very curious because you know my grandmas which i grew up for the first three four years of my life i'm very attuned to the seasons and when you can actually pick things off of trees and and vines and when you can actually eat things because i've had the experience of it you know in april picking something off a vine in my grandmother's back garden eating it you know having that absolutely horrible sour taste and then getting sick the

next day because it's just not ripe so um yeah you know it totally depends which lens you you view the world um for people that believe that a vegan diet is a kind of the most natural way of eating i totally respect that i get that um you know obviously we have opposing viewpoints but you know who cares like i think i think at the end of the day whatever diet you do i've said this before as long as you're not eating processed food you're winning winning like you're already in the top one percent so

you know it's i i don't see a point and i see a lot of times vegans and carnivores and you know people who do keto or paleo and they all fight with it guys who cares like as long as you're not eating processed food and it works for you you know do your thing well anyways long story short i did strict carnivore for around seven weeks uh and within eight weeks totally clear like you know you can actually go watch my videos between like mid august to like mid-september you'll probably notice i'm not wearing any

t-shirts or anything like that uh and then from like uh you know mid october onwards you'll see that i'm you know doing q and a's on the second channel or even just some of the videos on the main channel like i'm wearing t-shirts and you'll see like i have absolutely nothing on my arms so um yeah you know it took me six weeks so eating meat i only ate meat or meat related products i got very very into my detoxing so as i said you know earlier in the year i had done you know before

i got had any sort of autoimmune condition i did a lot of fast in general as you guys know i'm i'm very very healthy i stay very healthy very active very fit um but the second half of 2020 really forced me to to crank things up um so you know it was just a lot of obviously you know for six to eight weeks i was meat i also cut out caffeine and then from that it was a lot of liver detoxing uh and just healing leaky gut most people don't know uh you know 95 of

people i'd say have leaky gut and have parasites um you're probably sitting on the opposite end of this and going oh for me i would you know i definitely don't have parasites or leaky gut or you know suffer from any of this stuff yeah you do like trust me like there are people i have friends who have dedicated their entire lives to holistic health and detoxing and even dealing with parasites that live inside of humans um and they still suffer from this stuff so so trust me um you do so yeah you know not to

get too graphic but i spent a lot of the second half of 2020 just detoxing well i say the second half of 2020 i you know uh by the time that mid october rolled around i was like god damn i cleared this thing and then i spent the next six weeks basically um obviously you know still working but there was a lot of partying there was just a lot of social stuff that happened in october um see i was strict for six weeks and then it was another four weeks of healing and then actually i

went off the rails for six weeks and then it came back and then i did another strict six weeks so for me it was just super obvious and super clear that like yes of course the food you eat is gonna affect you know things like autoimmune conditions so you know no matter what you have whatever your autoimmune condition really they're all the same which is your body is attacking itself you know for no reason uh your immune system is is confused you know unless you have some sort of genetical predisposition for an autoimmune condition uh

which which i don't no one in my family has psoriasis or anything like that like it's people you know doctors don't even know why it comes about like it's something just happens in your body i actually think it was the last tattoo that i got because it was you know all my tattoos are pretty light so um the last tattoo i got was a lot heavier uh and it i remember just took like a long time to heal um so i think it was actually that um or you know maybe i might have been allergic

to the ink specifically uh for that tattoo i'm not sure that's kind of the only hypothesis that i have that or is a freak coincidence and you know when it happened it just turns something on in your body uh you know flip switches um and kind of the cat is out the bag um uh but as i said no matter what you have i am under the full belief that you can heal it naturally and you know people have used things like a vegan diet or a carnivore diet to heal things like not only autoimmune

conditions but things like depression things like adhd um you know i obviously you know even before this stuff happened i had such a disdain for the pharmaceutical industry um i don't take anything you know the only time i can ever remember taking a painkiller ever in my life i was when i tore and by the way this was the only time i've ever been to a hospital and yeah that one time when i went to the hospital that was because i dislocated my shoulder and tore my hip flexor at the same time literally in the

space of the same two seconds while playing football so anyways long story short uh for me it reaffirmed it's like okay cool if i'm literally spending a thousand dollars an hour and it's not even an hour because most of the time they sit with you for 15 to 30 minutes um on these private doctors these private dermatologists because you know luckily i'm in a very fortunate position where i've worked extremely hard over the last four and a half years all my businesses where i literally can get the best help in the world um in terms

of doctors and you know in in this case dermatologist which is funny because psoriasis literally has nothing to do with your skin uh it's an autoimmune condition um it's just where it shows up as they all you know i think there's something like 90 autoimmune conditions they're pretty much all the same thing um it's just where on the body does it show up um so yeah you know a little side note so as i said you know from beginning of september or end of august that's when i started my carnivore diet um you know stayed

strict with that for six weeks then kind of fell off the bandwagon once i cleared it i was like oh my god i cleared it and then like and you know i just basically went on a six to eight week just you know doing whatever i want really starting to drink caffeine again uh you know having you know going out with friends enjoying a pasta this that and then it came back and then it took another around six weeks to clear but you know i'm cleared again now and um i mean i got tons and

tons of messages from people with different autoimmune conditions uh saying like hey how the hell do you clear if you want me to make like a full in-depth you know 45-minute one-hour video um then you know i'd be more than happy to do that as well and show you not only how i cleared it one time now a second time and now at this point basically i just do a keto diet um quick caffeine once again you know been off been off caffeine for a while and and i know now for sure i will never

go back to it um so yeah as i said now my diet for me is at a 10 out of 10. um my energy is at a 10 out of 10. my health is at a 10 out of 10. you know in 2020 i had to do a lot of biohacking protocols that i never thought i would have done a lot of steam room sauna cold plunge you know i recommend that to everyone hot and cold exposure a lot of epsom salt bats but when you're doing epsom salt baths most people just sprinkle a little

in there you're going to want to do a kilo i actually even do two kilos sometime be careful with that though um magnesium that goes into your system like i would refrain from two kilos that's yeah like i'm just a bit of a madman when it comes to the sort of stuff so i just do one kilo and things like coffee enemas yup that's right i don't drink coffee anymore um but it i still do in cert whatever now for any of you guys who have been following my stuff for a while uh you know

that you know i've worked with detox coaches one of my good friends a guy called detox dudes and you know we worked together on on doing a lot of liver purges um dealing with any parasites um you know uh healing leaky gut and we did this stuff you know long you know well before i had this chronic autoimmune condition come up um and that was you know late 2019 and i was totally down for for everything uh that josh recommended the one thing that i told him was dude there is absolutely zero way zero chance

i am putting coffee of my you-know-what and yeah you know it took a year and me getting a chronic autoimmune condition but eventually i listened um and i can tell you as funny as it sounds and i really wish it wasn't as incredible at basic cleansing your liver so you know the reason that you want to use coffee is because it stimulates your vagus nerve and then that basically forces your liver to purge yeah i really honestly from my heart wish it wasn't as effective of a detox and biohacking protocol but it's probably one of

ethanol the best protocol out there yeah as i said i really really wish it wasn't but yeah long story short my point here is um you know 2020 really affirmed what i already knew which is you can heal anything naturally and and you know all i can say is to all the doctors out there i know you guys have an incredible intention i know you're doing it with the best thought in mind but like pills aren't always the solution antibiotics which by the way are you know in ten percent of cases are are a god's

miracle and ninety percent of cases are literally the most detrimental thing that you can do to yourself and will cause years and years of anguish oh okay god damn yeah as i said sometimes pills and antibiotics are not the answer um and a holistic approach is the answer ninety percent of the time and ten percent of the time if you cannot from bomb your heart you've actually tried and you cannot heal it naturally then yeah maybe consider you know some pharmaceutical products but um as i said not one doctor not two doctor probably four doctors

and three dermatologists um the best of the best in the uk as i said all of them at least 700 pounds an hour so like a thousand dollars an hour uh it's not even an hour every single one of them told me i couldn't clear it and not only did i do it once i did it twice and when i relapsed or when i came back it was very obvious why like you know six to eight weeks of drinking two three times a week because i said there was a lot of parties going you know

i had a very quiet summer because i was boxing you know for two months i was i was focused for for so long in the year that eventually when some social stuff started happening um you know i was in the mood again and you know drinking a couple times a week coffee passes i mean stuff that you know most people do as a day-to-day normally that stuff made it come back and then i cleared it once again so yeah you know uh don't take uh what your doctor says as gospel ladies and gentlemen your body

is designed to heal itself so just take three months try to heal it naturally if it still doesn't work and you've genuinely given it a crack then go ahead and you know you can try some of the pharmaceutical products now the next thing that i learned in 2020 or at least i had a lot more appreciation for um is depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts you know because it really can happen to anyone and i kind of had one of those dark night of the soul moments uh in 2020 so for some context you know

before july or before julyish august ish of 2020 i had never experienced anxiety in my life um i had never experienced depression in my life um you know suicidal thoughts just that but maybe a little bit when i was younger you know actually in all fairness uh here and there when i was younger uh you know i went through a pretty dramatic uh upbringing uh just saw some not very nice things um so i guess that was that but in my teenage years and you know uh more recent years um never really experienced those things

uh and july just came out of nowhere um you know i remember this maybe mid july and i was i was in manchester for a couple months boxing um and and i came back to london for a weekend and you know just had hung out with some friends you know went for dinner had some balls of wine you know it was probably 10 of us a couple of my guy friends and i had some cigars went to a party this that i ended up getting home pretty late uh probably like 5 30. i remember i

woke up at like 9 30 got in my shower turned on the shower laid crisscross applesauce on the floor and just started weeping and it was a very you know at that time i was very confused because i i didn't know why but i was just really really sad and what that started was a six-week bout of just really really intense anxiety um depression and suicidal thoughts like i remember i would wake up and my you know my heart would just be pounding and um obviously the first thing that i would do when that would

happen is i would go and you know i was in manchester and i you know drove up and and brought my jew which is like a red light therapy thing i would sit in front of my juve and just meditate for 15 minutes because because you know i thought that if my you know my heart rate is up and i'm feeling anxious just i can meditate this away it's no issues you know i've been meditating for seven years i can meditate this way wouldn't go away and it got to a point where after that crisscross

applesauce event um you know kind of just things deteriorated for two to three weeks to the point where i mean i was in the midst of a full-blown mental breakdown and i remember from the moment in which i woke up it was it was it was crazy the craziest experience i've ever had from the moment i woke up to probably 4 or 5 p.m the only way i can describe it is almost like being possessed by some demon um or that something else was like some other life force was inside of me or just like

we're almost like i guess what it feels like to be bipolar where it's like it's two different people um from 8 a.m to 4 p.m the only thing was on my mind for a solid like three weeks two three weeks was i was gonna kill myself and by the time that four or five pm rolled around i was totally fine i was happy i was smiling on another note from 8am to 4pm i probably would cry four or five times and you know i'm smiling now because it's just like it's so wild to think about

it but it was such a painful it was such a such a painful um you know a period of my life and you know i can only thank someone you know thank god thank you i don't fate i don't know i don't know who to thank but i can only thank someone um that it was six weeks you know and it wasn't six months or six years because a lot of people have to live with that for years and years and years and i don't know if i would have made it if it was six

months or for six years because it literally was a living hell before that point i'd always heard stories of depression and suicidal thoughts and anxiety and like you know i could never really relate now i can relate and although it's very very painful and it was a really tough point in my life it's now something that you know it's something that i have a lot of respect towards i have a lot of respect towards people going through it and you know really the things that got me out of that period from the point in which

i was like yo this is serious and like i remember like it was i'll give you an example i was you know i was on a team call and i just gone off a team call and kieran was with me in manchester you know kieran who's the the product manager agreemency i got off the team call you know and kieran's right by my side and i just i break down and like for me to have a breakdown like a full mental breakdown in front of my you know basically left-hand man right-hand man of one of

my companies and you know i just go i'm like i i say to karen i'm like you know sometimes i just think it'd be easier if i wasn't here that was kind of my thinking for for a solid few weeks and as i said it's so crazy because it it came so quick and i don't want to say it left quick but it was it was definitely a gradual from the point in which i'm like okay i need to really take care of myself here you know from there uh kind of at the height of

when i got the worst um you know i had a few more days just coincidentally in manchester um with the boxing and then and then i went to iceland and really just took a week for myself to you know to regroup gather my thoughts i did a lot of meditating a lot of breathing work um a lot of biohacking there you know they've got all of the springs so spend a lot of time in the springs cold exposure warm exposure i did a lot of journaling um and just did a lot of very introspective work

and i remember the sort of last little bout of anxiety or depression was probably like a few days after i moved into you know my new four-floor house in in london i was super excited about that that was one of the things that i was missing out on because you know in 2020 i had basically been living out a suitcase for nine months until i'd moved into my home so yeah long story short i remember this maybe four or five days in i'm like feeling that anxiety again and i feel myself and i'm about like

i'm about to start crying and like having a breakdown and you know i i knew that first of all you know it's not good to kind of escape from those emotions so first thing i did because i just wanted to snap myself out of it was i went to the gym and i went steam rooms on a cold plunge and i did four or five rounds of those then i came home and i journaled and i meditated and you know that's really the though you know i can't i didn't spend much time in that world

of anxiety and depression but from the limit time that i did spend there the only advice that i can give you is you got to dial everything in you know you got to dial everything in in terms of well first of all you have to do a lot of deep healing work and you got to ask yourself where is it coming from and you have to tackle it head-on as i said for me the crazy thing was i had just gone from the best six months of my life you know literally from january until july

you know i from basically the six months i was in cape town last year to 10 days in london to like the first month of the boxing in manchester like i was on top of the world i was having a great time uh it was 20 20 was a great year for me for you know the first seven months especially so it just kind of came out of nowhere and i couldn't really pinpoint any reason to end you know people were like oh it's because you're stressed or this i'm like guys you think this is

anything new to me like i've had so many more periods in my life where i'm so much more stressed i have so much more on my mind than that point um and who knows maybe it was delayed onset but yeah that's um i guess my best recommendation from the living time i spent in that world is just really take care of yourself you know i remember one of the big things that got me through it was like when things were really tough i just closed my eyes and and i remember once again uh one of

my good friends josh uh detox dudes he was a very very big help because you know he spent two three years in that place um and you know one of the big things that he did to get through was he would just like um i think it's called like i forget what it's called there's a name for it uh evening or something i think so um where you go like that and you literally just like almost give yourself a hug and um you know when things get really bad i would just i would go like

that and i go i love you man i love you man and i learned that from josh um and you know when things would be uh when i'd be doing some my biohacking detox protocols and i'd be um and i'd be in the steam room sauna or the cold plunge i would like close my eyes as things were really tough and i would go in god's grace in god's grace i don't know why i got you know i was called to do that but i was called to do it and you know that's just one

thing that kind of got me through that period was those two things so you know really you have to be quite gentle with yourself um and you really really have to protect your energy in that space um you know during that time i also did the instagram off my phone for three four weeks i basically didn't respond to anyone for three four weeks didn't see anyone for three four weeks except for a couple close friends who knew what was going on and they were kind of helping me work through that um i was just really

really protective of my energy and you know anyone who's going through that i guess that's one other little piece of advice that i could give you now moving on to the next lesson i learned in 2020 once again it was one of those that i already knew but it was reaffirmed in 2020 and that's that you have to do your own healing and you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you or you can love truly love anyone else you know i've always said i don't believe in none of this he or she

completes me [ __ ] you guys are two whole people the some of you together is greater than you guys separately you know i kind of spent a lot of time just being to myself and protecting my energy you know in 2020 uh i got out of what was basically around a two and a half year relationship right at the beginning of march uh and after that i decided and by the way this is pre lockdowns in cape town and stuff i was in cape town at this point um so it wasn't like i made

this decision because it was locked down or this that you know at that point i decided basically i wanted to be celibate for three months um and i really just want to protect my energy and just kind of go inside and just yeah just really spend a lot of time with myself and you know that was something that was important to me i got to two and a half months which for me i'm very very proud of like i was very very happy with that to be honest and you know i came out of that

relationship after doing a lot of um you know inner work right after you know the the next four to six weeks after a lot of meditation a lot of inner work uh a lot of uh breath work a lot of healing uh i came out of it in the best place i've ever been in my life to be honest and you know that kind of kept going and you know i was in a really good place when finally after you know being almost stuck in south africa for six months i finally came back to london

and then i had 10 days of partying and fooling around and this and that before i went to manchester for six weeks and then i had the whole depressive about um anxiety about and that came about and then and you know from that point once again i was that time unintentionally celibate for three months because i was dealing with so much personally that i couldn't share my energy with anyone else even if it was just for a night i you know i was the idea of that was just the last thing on my mind i

just wanted to protect my own energy and just do a lot of healing so you know i think that a lot of people are really scared to be just alone with themselves um and you shouldn't be i think you need to really look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself am i have i done a lot of the work have i done a lot of the healing work and am i ready to share my energy with someone else and if the answer is no then like that's so exciting like you get to go through

like i personally think the most growth is when you're single and not single and you know and you trust me i've done a lot of this in my life single and distracting yourself and you know and you know being involved with tons of uh romantic flings and this and that um that's fine you know that's that's another season of life um but once again that it distracts you it distracts you from doing that real inner healing work so you know as i said really just ask yourself what season of life are you in and be

honest with yourself so as i said i kind of had two periods of the year where i was just very to myself protecting my energy um celibate which is a set of things very very powerful tool one as i said which was intentional which is after i ended my last relationship and i was like i kind of just want three months to myself the second one which was definitely not intentional which was oh sick autoimmune condition and this like crazy bout of depression and anxiety that one definitely i was not planning for um but you

know those two things led me to getting to the point where i was you know i'd done a lot of work on myself over the space of the year and you know you always find love in weird places or when you're not expecting it or when you kind of want it the least um and you know i ended up the year in a relationship that i'm just so incredibly grateful for and happy about and i said a relationship that i didn't see coming or didn't see it blossoming into what it is so yeah as i

said my next life lesson or a really important life lesson that was reaffirmed to me was that i kind of really went about things the right way in 2020 romantically in the sense that i knew when it was time to protect my energy and i just really needed to do some inner work when it was time where you know i felt great in myself i felt strong in myself and i felt that i could bring that to the table with someone else so um yeah i i was very happy with the way that i went

about that in 2020 and it was as i said one of those things where i already knew but it really really reaffirmed an important lesson for me the sixth lesson i learned in 2020 is don't blow your load too quickly and that's a very crass way of saying that but i don't really know how else to put it and basically what i'm trying to say here is don't get ahead of yourself you have so much life to live you know i know that 90 of my demographic watching are either entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs and quite

frankly you are going to have a lot of financial options you're going to have a lot of options with where to travel what to do with your life and all i can say is kind of just don't get ahead of yourself and and leave leave some things for the future because then you just get really jaded and bored and you know you're really gonna get to a point where you ask yourself what's left um you know there was an example that and you know that was actually something that made me think of it and it's

probably not relatable at all i i i totally apologize this is not kind of your average you're probably thinking you're probably listening you're gonna listen to this and go uh boohoo like poor you iman but it just some you know it's something that made me think or it's how this kind of idea came about and and in december i was actually going to get my mom a porsche 911 um obviously as you guys know my mom is my hero my angel um you know like i literally owe everything to my mom we had a very

difficult very very difficult upbringing um it was just her and i which mastered us through it so uh obviously you know any of my success that i have you know i want to spoil her with it but anyways i thought about that and i was like hey man you are you know recently turned 20 um but at the time december 2020 you know at that point i'm still 20 years old you man you're 20 years old and that's what i kind of thought about this term i was like don't blow your load so early what

the [ __ ] like you have so many more years and you know i thought about and i was like man if you invested that money in five years you could buy her a porsche and a bentley or in five years or you know in 10 years you could probably buy her a house for that so you know just just take your time kiddo and sometimes i i you know because as much of an adult as i think i am and yes i am an adult and yes i you know have a team of nine

employees and yes you know i have a 100k a month in expenses from for the business um and i have all this responsibility and this and that like at the end of the day i'm 21 and there's there's so much left of life to live uh and sometimes i kind of have to remember you know remind myself you man like don't blow your load like just just take your time you know there's so much left of life to live as i said and you know really if you're young just just take a step back uh

prioritize investing that's another thing that i'd say and that's you know i guess a viewpoint that's changed for me in 2020. you know really live below your means and invest i started off 2020 with an investment portfolio of basically zero um and ended off the year with a two million dollar investment portfolio in my personal name so not in the business so obviously that's post tax income um and once again i'd be happy to break that down in a separate video so so really i can't urge you enough to get to the point where you've

got six months of cash reserves and then you know if you're in your 20s go pretty aggressive you know invest 70 of everything you make after that point you know for me where i am now um everything i make i only spend 10 of what i make obviously you have to set aside you know after i set aside money for taxes and this and that after that point and i do all those calculations 10 of everything i make now goes towards kind of my lifestyle and how i live um between 10 and 15 and then

the other 80 to 85 goes to investments you know really your future self will thank you um and i guess that's the main kind of point i want to get across and kind of what i realized in 2020 was like you may just pace yourself you have so much left of your life to live um and you know you can do obviously something that's that's incredible in a dream you know buy your mom a porsche 911 you know a well over a hundred thousand dollar car at the age of 20 years old but it's like

it that's that's still something nice to do when you're 25 but like why not why not do this like why not invest that money and then when you're 25 buy your mom a porsche and then also send her a wire transfer of the amount of money uh that was accrued through the investment that you made five years like i mean there's just smarter ways to think about it and i guess i really started to think that way in in 2020 uh obviously as i said i considering my circumstances and you know the past four and

a half years in business like and my age i've always been very very sensible with money i've saved money i've kept really really good cash reserves and you know everything in between but you know now i'm really starting to think from a more uh investor perspective and starting to think really really long term so the goal is uh for now 25 million by the age of 25. so that's 25 million in assets minus any debt by the way so that'll be my total equity in the assets that i own you know between the different asset

classes um so that's 25 million by age of 25 and i want to do 100 million by the time i'm 30. and really the last lesson that i learned in 2020 is you are capable of so much more than you ever imagined or you could ever conceive see now that one sounds like one of those instagram posts like seven lessons i learned in 2020 but you know 2020 as a whole tested everyone so just the fact that you got through the year um should prove to you how strong you are but after everything that happened

in the year after an incredible first seven months you know for me i was just like so free and light and the business was just you know uh just just absolutely ramping up and just everything was so on point uh the first seven months and then going through the the crazy three months of you know chronic and you know chronic autoimmune condition and uh depression and anxiety and this and that and then you know kind of the last three months of the year um just getting to the point where i was like kind of coming

back to my normal self and socializing and you know building a relationship and just kind of getting back to my full self with my team and my employees and this and that um you know because kind of for the last for the last six months of 2020 it's a shame we made so so much ground in the first six months and then the last six months because of me um because i had so much going on obviously understandably so we just didn't really innovate much it was like grew a lot and then just kind of

you know stagnated the last six months of the year but you know as i said these things kind of come out of nowhere sometimes and you just have to deal with them anyway so long story short uh i wanted to end off 2020 doing something really tough to just prove to myself how strong i was again so i'm sure many of you guys remember i decided to run a marathon with 14 days prep and prior to that point i had run 6.7 kilometers ever um like that's the most i'd ever run and yeah i ended

up running a marathon with 14 days prep and i didn't even i genuinely had maybe 50 belief that i would even finish it and the other 50 of me was like okay cool i'll probably do in like five hours i end up doing the marathon uh in three hours and fifty minutes which was a time that i'm just so proud of and you know i'm just so happy um just because like in general long distance has not been or in cardio has never been my thing i hate cardio i never do it um and i've

always kind of been the more exclusi explosive type uh you know power lifting sprinting that sort of stuff so yeah that really opened my eyes and it it made me wake up and i think for a lot of people who are in their first or second year in entrepreneurship uh or in business you have that like you have that almost unrealistic spark of like almost certainty like in 2018 at the age of 18 years old at the beginning of 2018 i said i was i'm gonna make a million dollars and i made a million dollars

in 2018. like and that was so crazy of me to think at the age of 18 and i did it and then you know i've been doing it plus some you know plus multiples more ever since then but like i've gone to a point now where like i just think i'm a little um i'm not willing to to absolutely push the ceiling and you know an example of this was my goal was always six million in assets by the age of 25 and after i did my marathon i just reassessed things and i was like

and i was just like no that's just push yourself like you're capable of so much more ima than you could ever imagine i was like you know what 25 million in assets by the age of 25 that sounds a little better so you know really 2020 and then doing that marathon at the end of 2020 it just proved to me that i'm capable of so much more than i know or than i imagine and um i i think really that's a that's an important life lesson i think that's why it's so important to constantly think

about ways that and that's why i think it's so important to constantly just push yourself like things that sound crazy you know scale up a a mountain that you almost want to scale up do a half marathon do a marathon just do anything to prove to yourself that you are so much stronger because what that marathon did for me was uh you know unspeakable because as i said you know after i did that i was like man you just been thinking way too small and immediately after that i started looking at triathlons and you know

other marathons or and you know ultramarathons and stuff like that that i could do or even powerlifting competitions or even just setting a goal for myself to to deadlift a certain amount by the end of the year yeah you really are capable of so much more than you could have ever imagined so ladies and gentlemen those were my seven lessons that i learned from the year they're very um they're very kind of macro and they're very you know they're all like very like oh i learned this one thing blah blah and it almost kind of

chronologically follows just lessons that i was dealt throughout the the year and just kind of with things that i experienced so they said i don't know whether you guys thought that was total fluff and didn't care about 90 of the [ __ ] that i mentioned in this video or whether you thought that was an interesting insight to and a little bit more of an intimate insight into kind of some of the stuff that happened in 2020 um how i dealt with it how i viewed it how my world view changed et cetera so uh

yeah let me know what you guys thought in the in the comments go ahead and smash the like button ladies and gentlemen if you actually enjoyed this video and as always if you want to find the winner for the gadget giveaway it's going to be a pin comment down below and all you have to do to win an apparel from gadget i'm actually wearing the matte black blue light blockers one of my favorite color ways i'd say probably this and the crystal are my two favorite at the moment but yeah as i said all you

have to do to enter into the giveaway is just subscribe turn on post notifications comment within the first two hours of video going live and check back on the next video uh to see who the winner is so lots of love guys hope you enjoyed the video and i'll see in the next one hey look if you enjoyed that video i went ahead and picked out another special video that i know you're going to find immensely valuable you can find it right there i know you're going to love it and i'll see in the next

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