Is Hustle Culture Ruining Young Men? - Dry Creek Dewayne

you talk a lot about balance the dangers of being out of balance right explain that to me well let's take let's let's take any a okay raising children all right um I like to say that raising children is like holding a wet bar so if you squeeze it too tight squeezes out squirts out of your hands if you don't hold it tight enough it slides out of your hands you know raising children you got to be balanced or has to be discipline we as human beings need discipline in our life but there has to be

love and grace and understanding and so a lot of children who grow up with issues from being raised you know those issues are because their parents are out of balance one way or another marriage you got problems in your marriage it's usually somebody's out of balance you know they're they're too distant or they're too clingy you know they're too demanding or they're too permissive they don't have personal boundaries it's just out of balance um I think oh heck I'm G to do it what are they going to do to me okay um I don't like

the trend in this circle men's motivation Circle I don't like the hustle culture as is being brought out and taught today I don't agree with it because I think it's out of balance I think young men need to know that hey it's okay for you to sit down and to read and have a cigar and to chill and to think cuz I guarantee if you're in the wait room um pumping out all these reps and running on the machine and then you're going into the cubicle and you flip open the computer and you're not thinking

you're learning you're taking in but you're not meditating on stuff and you're not you're not thinking but that can be taken so far that young men are made to feel guilty for just sitting down and thinking and relaxing and I understand that there was a tendency in this country we had a lot of young men that were not raised with dads they weren't raised to work you know and so that it's sitting on the couch playing the stupid Xbox you know not growing up learning to work so that pendulum went too far this way so

now you've got guys who in order to counteract that they swung the pendulum too far this way and a balanced man needs to be somewhere in the middle he needs to be able to work to do what needs to be done to improve himself and he also needs to sat around by the fire in the backyard and have a cigar and read some Kipling and just stay balanced there needs to be balance I wrote an essay about that this week week did you would you mind if I read it to you absolutely not I think

type A people have a type B problem and type B people have a type a problem insecure overachievers need to learn how to chill out and relax and lazy people need to learn how to work harder and be disciplined given that you subscribe to me I'm going to guess you're probably type A some version of a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity as Andrew Wilkinson says here's the thing you may have already realized type A people with a type B problem get very sympathy because a miserable but outwardly successful person always appears to be in

a much more preferential position than the content being lazy but on the verge of being bankrupt person the problems of opportunity will always get less sympathy than ones of scarcity one feels like a choice the other like a limitation one is a Bourgeois luxury the other a s systemic imposition I need someone to teach me how to be disciplined and work harder feels Noble and upward aiming and charitable I need someone to teach me how to switch off and relax feels dopam energic and addicted and transactional and opulent every Underdog movie ever has a training

montage of someone working their life out by working harder none included a guy learning how to log out of slack at 600 p.m. or finally enjoy a beach holiday so yes typ a people may have objectively better lives but subjectively they're ravaged by the sense that they've never done enough they wake up every morning feeling as if they've already fallen behind and only if they dominate their entire day flawlessly will they have dragged themselves back up to some minimum level of acceptable output which means they can go to sleep that night without feeling like they've

wasted it congratulations you might be very successful but you might also be very miserable just work harder bro advice reliably makes everyone more successful in the only way that they can be judged outwardly there are very few issues in life which can't be solved by just working harder so everybody treats it like a Panacea not a purpose-built tool and on average maybe more people do need to hear David Goggins shouting in their face to go harder rather than eart T whispering in their ear that they are already enough but for a certain perhaps minority cohort

of people they actually need to hear the opposite message we need a parasympathetic Goggins who's going to carry the TV remote and the cigars # rest harder than me type B problems are just as tough as type A ones but they require a much less sexy solution peace one that you can't achieve by just working harder I agree 100% I I have guys come into the school and they're like they're just I'm like I don't say anything it's not my business but I'm like you're going to die young tightly wound just tightly wound and it's

never enough It's never enough I'm like when is it enough what is enough you know I've been thinking last couple weeks I'm like you know the saying is just keep the main thing the main thing but I think where we Crash and Burn is how we Define the main thing you know and it's I see myself in a very small tiny way infantism way I see myself as the anti- David Goggins I see myself as a guy it's like there's places where his message is needed I'm not knocking the guy okay there are places where

his message is needed but his message is not needed for everybody okay um I'm going to I'm going to probably step over a line here you can edit out anything you want all right I'm really bothered by these guys who are Financial gurus who will fire you if you don't have a six-pack there's a problem there's a main thing staying the main thing problem with that viewpoint on life um and I want to see I want to see men that I'm for whatever reason whatever way brought in to influence I want to see them find

balance I don't want to see them find money I don't want to see them find sixpacks if that if that is part of the result of it fine okay but I want them to find balance and I want them to find that place inside where they're like my main thing is my main thing and it's enough I've heard you say that a good man is born to serve not born to make money absolutely what's that mean to you well it if I'm Mak money and I and I've heard all excuses because there's guys who have

a problem with me saying that all right um but if I make money I make money for me now I've got you know my wife definitely benefits from it and you know my children although they're grown they benefit from it but ultimately in the end uh if if I'm pour all my life into making money that's for me you know but if I if I pour my life into as many people as is fitting and I don't know um their life is better for me having come through I ultimately I want and I'll never know

in some tiny way I would what means the most to me is that when you leave here today in some small way your life is better for us having sat down and talked that means that means more um and uh and so we're you know I I think we are I think a real man is born to serve and serve means provide for those that are in your sphere of you to provide for uh it means to protect it means to encourage it means to teach and to train uh and sometimes it means to step

back and let them hit the wall Sometimes the best service you can do for somebody is to when it's all done walk up and look down and say did that hurt you know that's that's what they needed uh but we won't do that because it makes us look bad and even in our service to others we do it for ulterior motives you know but but yes um I believe that very strongly I believe I believe if you spend your whole life to yourself for yourself you have no purpose of being here this this planet is

not in any way better for you having been here uh is that what a good man is to you that's what a good man is to me when when I when my wife and I and we've moved we've lived all over but we've it's been a thing of ours when we leave we try to leave the house in some way better than when we found it and that's how I approach life is like when people come across my path I try to leave their life a little better than when I found it and you know

what that may be just looking at that poor tired lady checking out at Walmart with the sore feet and the the glazed over eyes and looking her in the eye and say how are you doing today it don't take much you know know but it's like I guarantee in some small way her life was a little better when I passed through that Walmart line than it was before I got there uh and yeah I think that's a good man A Good Man is a man who can protect and who can provide and who can serve

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