Behavioral Activation- How to Get Motivated to Do Stuff that You Don't Want to Do. Anxiety Course 30

In this video you'll learn about the mental block  that holds so many people back in anxiety and especially depression and the essential skill  to break that cycle. But first, a story from high school. So I was pretty lonely in high school  until I found my tribe in the cross country team.

And it was kind of my safe place and where I  made some of my best friends. Anyways. We had this great coach, Bob Hanky, and he would always tell  us these motivational stories, like uh the time he was in the national championships and he held  back in third place so that he could use oxygen debt to pass the other runners in the end of  the race.

Or um the other story about the kid who he once coached who was kind of overweight,  and every single race that season he improved on his time, so he got the nickname PR Shumway. Um  and for those of you who don't know PR is a it's a term in running for your personal record,  your personal best time, and it's kind of a big accomplishment for runners. So we put each  of these quotes on a t-shirt because they kind of made us laugh and also kind of inspired us  at the same time.

Okay. So the one story that actually applied to what we're talking about  today was this one. He said, "Okay, kids.

When you want a snack and you walk down to the deep freeze  in the basement and you've got two types of ice cream. You've got amazing chocolate Oreo fudge  caramel, and then there's vanilla. Which one do you choose?

" And we all like stared back at him  with blank faces. And he answered, "You choose the vanilla. Why?

Because you don't want to. And why  are we going to run hill sprints today? Because you don't want to.

Let's go. " And so every time for  the next three years when we didn't feel like doing the workout or we didn't feel like running hard,  we'd just look at each other and say, "Vanilla. " We'd even do like a little "v" "Vanilla.

" And like we'd  laugh a little bit, and then we'd go try to run hard. Now, I get it. Like this is a dumb story.

But  it kind of speaks to an important psychological intervention that's actually very effective.  It's called behavioral activation, and it's all about getting yourself to do stuff that's  good for you but you don't feel like it. So in this video you'll learn how to break the cycle of  depression or immobilization with behavioral activation.

[Music] Okay. When you're depressed, you don't really feel  like doing anything that will help you. Uh like not only does it sound like a lot of work, but  you're exhausted, right?

You just don't feel like it. Like, oh, if I don't feel like being social,  I won't go out today. Or oh, if I feel anxious about having a hard conversation, it's probably  not worth the effort.

Getting showered and dressed sounds exhausting so I'm just going to stay in  my pajamas all day. But then when I'm invited to do something I feel insecure because I didn't get  dressed so I don't go. And when I go to the store I know I look slobby so if I run into someone who  I who I know, I I don't talk to them because I'm embarrassed.

And then I go home and I feel even  worse than before. Behaviors lead to a cycle of lower mood. It's easy to see this tendency when  we're anxious or depressed.

We tend to pull back, we tend to withdraw from things, including stuff  we used to enjoy. And this makes you feel worse. And that kind of perpetuates the cycle.

It makes  you withdraw more. I I think people always assume that the thought or the emotion leads to the  behavior, but behaviors also lead to emotions. So for example, during COVID, lockdowns changed our  behaviors.

We spent a lot of time alone. We couldn't go out with friends. And many of the activities  that brought us pleasure were just out of reach.

We couldn't do them. And so by simply changing our  behavior, many people felt a change in mood. Rates of anxiety and depression doubled to the point  where around 40% of people reported symptoms.

And a lot of people developed substance abuse problems  in their attempts to cope with these feelings. So this change in mental health, it had nothing to do  with our inherent biology. It had everything to do with our behaviors.

I feel sad, so I won't go out,  so then I feel sadder, so then I won't go out more, so then I feel sadder. But if simply suppressing  behaviors causes mood changes, simply adding in behaviors can also cause mood changes. So have  you ever gone out with friends even though you weren't feeling like it, and then by the time you  were done you were feeling way better?

Like does anyone ever regret having exercised that day?  You can't wait until you feel different to act different. It has to go the other way around.

Act  differently and see how it feels. You can't wait until you feel motivated to get out of bed. Get  out of bed and do some stuff, and then you might feel motivated.

You can't wait until you don't feel  anxious to face your fears. You face your fears, and then your anxiety decreases. You can't wait until  you don't feel guilty about it to set boundaries for your kids.

You can't wait until you feel ready  to change. It's much much more effective to take some action first. I mean, behavioral activation is  kind of a fancy word for "fake it till you make it.

" But the science behind it is really valid. When you  take action, your brain chemistry changes. This is the advice you don't want to hear from your mom,  but she's probably right.

So why activate first? There's at least two reasons this works. Number  one: action precedes emotion.

Action changes our physical state. It can actually create quite a  rapid change in mood. So for example, exercise is a very rapid treatment for depression and  tends to be fairly effective.

Um other chemicals change with action. So for example, dopamine isn't  released until after you take action. It's only the motivation chemical because it's the reward  chemical.

When you're depressed and you get out of the house, you break the cycle of withdrawal, and  over time you likely get feeling better. The second reason this works is new learning that breaks up  these rigid and unhelpful thinking patterns. I mean, these are essentially every time you get out and  you get yourself to activate, it's essentially an experiment to challenge your rigid patterns so let  me give you an example.

Um let's talk about a man who believes he's socially awkward. He he usually  skips social events, and when he goes he continues to believe he's socially awkward, so he hangs out  by himself in the corner, and then this reinforces his belief that he is awkward and that's why no  one likes him. But now he's decided to challenge himself.

He's going to go to a social gathering  every week, and he's going to chat with at least five people, and then he's going to observe  scientifically what happens. Uh and at the end of this experiment he's a little bit surprised  to find out that people seem excited and cheery when he initiates conversation with them. Okay. 

Or a woman who, when she wakes up feeling super depressed, her standard procedure is to just call  in to work and not go. She stays in bed most of the day and continues to feel down. Her experiment is  to see what happens if when she's feeling down she gets up and gets dressed instead.

She tracks her  mood each day she does this, and then she just compares. Does her mood go up compared to the days she stays  in bed? And as she tracks it, she realizes that when she gets dressed, even though it's super hard, she  does feel kind of better afterwards.

Her brain learns that taking action can help, and this gives  her a little bit of hope those mornings when she's lying there depressed. It's like a tiny glimmer  of hope that says, "Hmm. I might feel better later.

Let's get moving. " Okay. So you're convinced vanilla. 

You may may be thinking to yourself, so how do you start? Pretty easy. Choose an action.

Choose one  of these three things is a good place to start: Um something enjoyable, something that gives you  a sense of accomplishment, or something that helps you connect with others. And then just take some  action. If you're finding that hard, maybe one of these principles will help: um don't wait for  motivation to change.

You can't wait for your brain to give you motivation to get out there and  do things. Emotion follows action. Now, I admit this is not easy.

The best way to make this process  more rewarding is to choose an action that lines up with what you really care about. Like if you're  depressed and you love your kids, make them a great breakfast. If you're scared to do public speaking,  find a topic that you're really passionate about to to make it worth it um when you put yourself  out there.

And then hopefully you'll have these experiences that actually make your life more  meaningful, more purposeful. You could make a hierarchy. So you could break a task down into  tiny steps.

So for example, if you're overwhelmed by a messy house, just clean one area. It could  be like one room or even just like your bed or your bedside table or your pillow. Pick one  single area, and just take one small action.

Um so yeah. Just one small action. Okay.

Um another  thing that can be helpful is sometimes if it's really hard to get started, if it's really hard  to get yourself out the door, it might be helpful to schedule in some activities, like put them on your  calendar, especially the type where other people depend on you. Uh one of the YouTubers I watch,  Anne of All Trades says that one of the best things she's done for her depression, anxiety, and  ADHD is getting cows. The cows rely on her.

They force her to get up in the morning and milk  them, and that forces her to have a routine, to get moving, and this helps her like just get going,  and that makes her feel better throughout the day. Okay. Last, give yourself a ton of credit.

Dopamine  turns on after you take action, and the more you reward yourself internally for doing something, the  more motivation you'll have the next time. So no negative self-talk. Like you can't say stuff like,  "Well, my house is still a mess" or "Normal people don't have a hard time with cleaning.

" Like don't  put yourself down or compare yourself to others. Like just say, "Good job, Emma. I'm proud of you.

" Like  take a picture and share your accomplishment with a few friends. Like let them cheer you on. Write  it down in your journal.

Anything that reinforces that sense of accomplishment or pleasure is  actually going to make you more motivated next time. This is going to become more natural  for you as you practice vanilla, right? You're going to get feeling better.

It's going to feel  uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. So that's it. That is one  way to break the cycle of depression or anxiety.

Behavioral activation, aka vanilla. Comment  below: what's a hard thing you made yourself do that helped you feel better? And if you want a  shirt like my cross country team, put that in the comments too.

That'd be way fun to print those  shirts. Okay. Thanks for being here.

Take care.