Why You Shouldn't Second Guess Your Decisions

the business of living can be Complicated by a particularly exhausting habit our tendency to question our judgments with the passage of time what had originally seemed like a clearcut and soundly based decision can after a few weeks or months come under fresh scrutiny and Inspire intense doubt regret shame insomnia and at points hurried attempts to reverse a decision for example a few months ago it seemed absolutely right to end our relationship we had the partner's faults clearly in View and we were certain that these made any sensible plans for the future untenable but now we're

no longer so sure we've been on a few dates and they didn't go too well we've been by ourselves a lot and as we've been doing the laundry or walking around the park we've started to remember how funny and clever sweet and tender RX could be we're wondering whether we should despite our original recommendation that neither of us should be in touch for a while perhaps send them a falsely innocent text tonight or last summer we knew we didn't have a particularly good time at the Beachside Resort and vow to stick to a cooler climate

next time but since then the weather has turned very cold and just recently we're finding ourselves curious about returning South next year or we told ourselves that we were fully done with a particular career but we've been reflecting on matters since and happened to bump into an old colleague last week and are now wondering whether we shouldn't maybe make another attempt or a friend from university has suggested a meal we found them rather self-centered and dull when we last saw them a decade ago but they sounded Sparky in their invitation and we've agreed to meet

them for lunch near the station next week in such instances it can be useful to keep a broad principle in mind the further away we stand from the moment when we took a decision the more our judgment is likely to be clouded and corrupted and this is because of a feature of our minds that in most areas serves us extremely well our capacity to let go of pain the very faculty that means we can effectively mourn the death of a pet or a loved one or get over a bankruptcy or endure a drop in income

also means that we're likely to revise our views of an ex we worked very sensibly to eject from our lives or that we will know within 5 minutes of remating an acquaintance that they are as maddening as they ever were we pick apart and dissolve our judgments because we cannot keep a clear eye on the powerful incentives we come under to do so because we don't notice how indigestible certain truths have become we abdicate to doubt under intolerable irrepressible degrees of loneliness and sadness isolation and confusion of course we're going to start to question our

views of our ex's strengths and weaknesses after seven weekends substantially on our own being humiliated on dating apps of course we won't remember our friends dispiriting character when we would so love to have a flourishing social life when we wake up and wonder if we've been unfair or Hasty the sternest most reasonable part of us should know to grab the controls and ask whether a revision to our views is likely to be accurate or simply convenient despite all the pressures we're under to believe otherwise we should place our faith in the wisdom of a well-worn

dictum trust what you knew then not what you feel now