Abandonment Issues: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome

[Music] hey psycho goers welcome back to a brand new psychico video made possible through your continued love and support today's video is brought to you in collaboration with haley shaffir from choosing therapy let's begin abandonment issues involve a deep fear of being hurt rejected or abandoned fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety that often develops in response to specific painful or traumatic experiences like childhood abuse neglect or the loss of a loved one abandonment issues are closely linked to insecure attachment styles which are characterized by difficulty forming close stable relationships with others according to

attachment theory early childhood interactions between a child and their caregivers is a primary determinant of whether a person develops a secure or insecure attachment style before we proceed please remember this video is for informational purposes only and is not for self-diagnosis with that said here are the signs and causes of abandonment issues so what is this fear actually did you go through a specific painful experience being betrayed hurt or abandoned by someone during childhood often abandonment issues stem from early childhood traumas involving a parent or caregiver abandonment issues stemming from childhood often persists into adulthood

when parents and caregivers respond in warm consistent and attentive ways to the feelings and needs of children children develop a secure attachment and are able to develop normally a secure attachment style represents a person who learns to trust and open up to others is responsive and warm to others and can form healthy and close relationships when this does not happen the child remains in a state of chronic stress and fear stunting their development and preventing specific important social and emotional milestones from being reached this leads to development of an insecure attachment style what are some

signs of abandonment issues in children abandonment issues often show up as anxiety especially when separated from a caregiver children with abandonment issues may be more easily upset and often have difficulty regulating their emotions they may exhibit negative attention-seeking behaviors and have outbursts or tantrums they can either demonstrate avoidant or antisocial behaviors withdrawing from peers or bullying others they might also be either very fearful of adults or overly trusting developing fast dependencies and what about the signs of abandonment issues in adults well have you ever developed specific defense mechanisms that make it more difficult to form

close healthy relationships do you push people away withdraw and avoid trusting or opening up to people the particular types of defense mechanisms a person with abandonment issues develops can be different these are categorized as different attachment styles adults with abandonment issues will display similar unhealthy patterns in their relationships they'll become overly needy in relationships and will develop patterns of codependency relying on the other person to meet all of their emotional needs others with abandonment fears will allow people to get close but become volatile aggressive or emotionally reactive with their partner when they feel threatened or

upset each of these distinct patterns represent a specific type of insecure attachment causes and triggers of abandonment issues did you go through abuse neglect or a traumatic loss of a loved one during childhood abandonment issues that begin in childhood are almost always the result of adverse childhood experiences or aces which describe different types of stressful and traumatic experiences these experiences lead to the development of negative beliefs about oneself and others that form the basis of insecure attachment and abandonment fears these beliefs can include self-worth issues like believing one is unlovable or unworthy beliefs that others

are untrustworthy or believing people will always end up leaving these core beliefs are referred to as internal working models in attachment theory and are believed to drive insecure attachment patterns even in adulthood some of the childhood experiences that cause abandonment issues and insecure attachment styles include having a caregiver who is neglectful or unresponsive to the feelings and needs of a child having a caregiver who is physically or emotionally abusive or intimidating having a caregiver who is inconsistent sometimes warm and attentive and other times cold and unresponsive or abusive being a victim of sexual abuse especially

as a child or teen and having a caregiver who is separated or absent the death of a parent incarceration or a parent who is not an active caregiver abandonment fears can be caused by any of these experiences and are not always the direct result of one particular event but instead a pattern of not consistently meeting a child's physical and emotional needs sometimes this is caused by certain environmental factors or circumstances instead of parenting deficits these environmental and social risk factors include things like being exposed to violence in the community or within the home coming from

low socioeconomic status or being a minority children who are raised in adoptive families or who are placed in foster care also often struggle with fears of abandonment and insecure attachments even children from loving stable homes could have developed abandonment issues if a parent was frequently working or traveling or if one parent struggled with chronic health or mental health conditions while experiencing trauma in childhood is more likely to lead to insecure attachment experiences later on in life may also cause insecure attachment and abandonment fears for instance being in an emotionally physically or sexually abusive relationship being

cheated on or betrayed or experiencing rejection as an adult could trigger these fears while not everyone who has these experiences will go on to develop abandonment issues some will this happens when the person's unresolved trauma from one relationship is carried over and impacts a person's future relationships when and how to seek help for abandonment issues do you have difficulty forming close romantic relationships or friendships is there intense anxiety about commitment that impacts a significant relationship difficulty being open vulnerable or trusting others because of past experiences are commonly faced by those having abandonment issues some of

the signs that could indicate a need for professional help include patterns of choosing partners who are abusive controlling needy emotionally unstable or unavailable patterns of unhealthy communication consistent feedback from others that you are too needy and a pattern of losing yourself in relationships are all experiences due to fear of abandonment when significant past traumas or unhealed emotional wounds continue to bother you or impact your relationships or behavior in unwanted ways you may benefit from seeking professional counseling seeking a counselor who is experienced in treating trauma is a great help if you are a loved one

is struggling with abandonment issues therapy may be able to help you move forward if you are currently in a relationship that is being affected by your abandonment issues consider seeking out a therapist who specializes in couples therapy the choosing therapy directory is a great place to find therapists for individual or couples counseling and offer a free consultation to match you with a great therapist we hope we're able to give you insight into the signs and causes of abandonment issues do any of these describe your experience or did any of these points describe you leave a

comment down below about your encounters with them if you'd like please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well if you found this video helpful be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there struggling don't forget to subscribe to psyc2go and hit the notification bell for more new videos and thanks for watching