Mindfulness for Anxiety 💓 A Beginner's Guide 21/30

By the end of this video you're going to know how  to use mindfulness in your life. You're going to experience mindfulness with two quick activities,  and you're going to learn how mindfulness can help you calm your body and your mind. The skill of  mindfulness shifts your perspective on emotions.

You'll learn how to get better at soothing  anxiety, you'll learn to process sad feelings, and you'll learn to quiet negative self-talk.  Mindfulness combined with CBT has been shown to work as well as medication at treating depression  and anxiety, but without the side effects - and it's more effective in the long-term. Mindfulness  actually helps rewire your brain.

It helps improve connectivity between neurons and the part of your  brain that processes emotions. In skill number five we looked at how avoidance and struggle  with our emotions tends to make us miserable, or at the very least keeps us from living the  life we dream of. So what's the alternative?

Is it just suffering? No! Today we'll look at mindful  acceptance as a step toward resolving emotions.

When things get stressful, do you find yourself  coping in unhealthy ways, like overeating, venting, or just avoiding things altogether?  These strategies may work in the short term, but eventually they'll end up causing more problems  than they solve. Imagine what'd it be like if you had the skills to work through tough emotions  without losing it.

My online course Coping Skills and Self-Care for Mental Health takes you through  the process of creating your own healthy coping and self-care routine. You'll learn to identify  triggering situations, manage intense emotions; you'll learn to calm your stress response and  build your own personalized coping skills list so that you can handle different situations.  By the end of the course you'll show stress, anxiety, and depression that they don't run  your life because you'll have the skills to manage emotions in healthy ways.

If you want to  learn more about coping skills and self-care, just click the link in the description to learn  more about this cool course. When we're mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our  understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace,  and love. Have you ever had an experience where you were intensely aware of the moment?

Maybe  it was a beautiful sunrise or even a frightening experience. And suddenly you started noticing the  tiny details of each thing around you. Perhaps you noticed the way the light was hitting the  trees or the feel of the dirt beneath your feet.

Maybe you heard the sound of the birds or maybe  even of your own breath. Everything felt real, crisp; the moment felt magical, you felt alive.  Write about that experience in your workbook.

Or if you're on YouTube, you could write about  the experience in the comments section below. On the other hand, have you ever felt like  you're just numb? You're plowing through the day; you're trying to just not think about your life  or just waiting for it to get better.

Maybe you felt that way for weeks and months on end. Now,  we often attribute these feelings of joy or misery with the outside circumstances. So for me,  I remember a time I felt like the world was alive, when I was hiking in Hawaii.

So we might think,  Oh, the beautiful sunrise gave me joy and my daily grind gave me misery. But there is another  way to look at that. So what if it was the state of awareness that brought joy and the habit of  distraction and avoidance that brought misery?

Our minds, our hearts, and our bodies have an innate  healing ability. We have a natural drive to heal and resolve problems, to find joy and to grow.  When we stop interfering with that natural drive, when we stop distracting ourselves endlessly and  we start acknowledging instead of avoiding all of our feelings, we give ourselves the freedom to  come back to ourselves and to find peace and joy.

Our brain has a natural ability to file away  our problems and to resolve them in the in the downtime, but if we never give ourselves quiet  time then it creates this backlog of issues to file away. So some indications that you  might have a problem with distraction are: you have a hard time sleeping -  and that could be because your mind is finally getting a chance to sort through  your thoughts - or if you always need music on your phone or if when you sit still  with nothing to do you feel sad or anxious. This can all be caused by being kind of addicted  to distraction and busyness.

On the other hand, we can train our minds to feel joy and vitality  by developing our present moment awareness. So instead of needing to escape, right, to  feel different experiences to feel happy, like a vacation or winning the lottery, we can create  joy in the present moment by waking up and living. Acceptance, in my opinion, is the key to convert  momentary happiness to enduring happiness.

It helps you move from feeling happy to actually  being happy. So what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is just being aware.

That's it. It's being aware  of what we're experiencing in the here and now. So, for example, are you aware of the chair  pressing against your legs, right now?

Well, now you are mindful of that. Another way to  describe it is to be awake to the present moment. We can practice mindfulness, we can  actively work out those mindful muscles, by focusing our awareness on our bodily  sensations, our thoughts, and our emotions.

If we do this while actively accepting the present  moment, thoughts, sensations, and emotions, we can develop more internal power. Now there's  that word again. I actually wish there was a better word in English than acceptance  because acceptance has this connotation of giving up or just saying "Well, I'm just  gonna accept that life sucks and it always will" or some, you know, crap like that.

But that's not  what it means at all, at least when it's used in the therapeutic sense. Acceptance as we use it  here is simply acknowledging what is here in the present moment, and it's choosing to allow it  to be there and choosing to be awake to that. That's it.

It's getting grounded in the  here now and noticing what it feels like. Now another way to describe it is willingness  - choosing to be willing to feel. It's starting with where we are and going from there. 

So with difficult emotions, this can be really hard because we don't necessarily want  to feel sad or we don't want to feel anxious. But what's the alternative? I do feel anxious,  so I'm going to try and pretend like I'm not?

I do feel anxious, so I'm going to try and make  that go away? Well, that makes things worse. In football they start each play where the  ball is, not where it could have been or where it should have been or where the team wants it to  be.

Willingness is about starting where we're at. So imagine how a football game would go if every  play, the players spent time arguing about where the ball ought to be or where they want it to be  or wishing they had done better the previous play or worrying about the fourth quarter or trying  not to think about where the ball is because they don't like it, right. That would not be a  very enjoyable game.

Same thing goes with our emotions. Acceptance or willingness doesn't mean  we aren't trying to move forward; it just means we know where we are starting. It's amazing how  much of our lives we spend not noticing being mindless.

We regret about the past or we long  for the past; we worry about the future or we daydream about the future. All the while we're  just trying to escape the now. We keep our minds distracted by music or TV or Facebook or work.

We  try not to notice the pain that we feel, all the while not realizing that if we just accept that  it exists right now, it tends to not hurt so much Mindfulness is pretty simple to learn and  practice, so let's try a little experiment. For this you're going to need a little bit  of food, like it could be some trail mix or a raisin a chocolate chip or a piece of bread,  whatever, right. Just pause the video.

Go find a little piece of something to eat. Eating is one of  those things that we often do while multitasking. We might eat while we watch TV or talk on the  phone, or we just keep working while we down a sandwich.

Distracted eating is associated with  weight gain, overeating, and decreased enjoyment of food. So go ahead; get out your little piece  of food - but don't eat it yet. Just take a moment and look at the food.

Really see it. Pretend that  you're an alien who has landed on a strange planet and you get to describe food for the first  time ever. What do you see?

Notice the texture, the light on it, its shape, whether  it's soft or hard, coarse or smooth. Now feel it in your hand. Is it light, heavy,  warm, or cool?

Notice any thoughts that come up, like "Why am I doing this? " and just let those  thoughts be there. And then shift your attention back to the food.

What do you notice in  your body? Are you starting to salivate? What does that feel like?

Bring the piece of  food up to your nose. Does it have any smell? Bring it up to your ear.

Does it make any sound? Bring the piece of food to your mouth. Isn't  that interesting that your hand knows exactly where to go?

Now I'm going to ask you to gently  place it in your mouth - but don't chew it yet. What do you notice about it? Feel it on your  tongue, its weight, its temperature, its size, its texture.

Roll it around in your mouth  and explore the sensations of it in there. Now when you're ready, intentionally bite into  it. Did you automatically pick a side to chew on?

Notice when you start to taste the food. Slowly  slowly chew the food, and notice when you feel a desire to swallow. What does that feel like,  the desire to swallow, what does that feel like?

When you swallow, notice what it feels like  to swallow. Can you feel the food moving down toward your stomach? Congratulations; you've  just had your first taste with mindfulness.

You noticed what it feels like to do  something that you often do mindlessly. Now let's talk quickly about the difference  between mindfulness and meditation. Meditation is an activity; mindfulness is a state of awareness. 

Meditation is when you stop doing what you're doing and you spend a certain amount of time  in in mindfulness or in a meditation activity. Now mindfulness can be done by stopping what we're  doing and focusing on it, but what I love about mindfulness is that it can also be done while  we're in the middle of whatever else we're doing, and it can bring joy and awareness to our task  at hand. Now I tend to suck at meditation.

I find it really hard to do, I find it difficult  to set apart time to do it, but when I do it, it is beneficial. On the other hand, mindfulness  is a practice that's a lot easier for me because I can do it while I'm doing whatever else I'm  doing, and it brings vitality to the task at hand. So let's talk about what are the  characteristics of mindful acceptance?

The first one is present moment awareness - you  keep bringing yourself back to the here and now. Number two is a non-judgmental approach - you  don't label your initial thoughts, emotions, or sensations as good or bad. Mindfulness is not  having a blank mind, making your mind go blank; it's allowing yourself to keep shifting your focus  to what you choose to focus on instead of letting your focus be pulled away by whatever your mind  wants or whatever's going on around you.

The third characteristic of mindfulness is non-striving. We  aren't trying to force change; we're not trying to make our thoughts, emotions, or sensations go  away. This activity is about being where you're at while you are there.

Another characteristic of  mindfulness is to have a beginner's mind, to be curious about your experience as if it's  the first time you've ever felt that. You ask questions like, "What does it feel like  to feel this? " And then another aspect of mindfulness is expanding awareness.

So you might  be noticing that you're feeling anxious or sad, and then you expand your awareness and you say,  "What else am I feeling? " So an example of this is when maybe an elderly person who was suffering  has died, you might feel super sad - but you might also feel grateful that they aren't in pain  anymore. So mindfulness gives you a chance to explore the subtle emotions in addition to the  loud ones.

Often mindfulness helps us feel a sense of calm or increased joy in the moment, but that's  not the goal of mindfulness. Sometimes mindfulness makes us feel worse, especially when we've been  chronically avoiding or distracting ourselves. The goal is not to make you feel better; the  goal is to get better at feeling - to, like a weight lifter to increase your emotional muscles  so that heavy things seem light, not because the nature of the weight or the emotion has changed  but because our ability to lift it has increased.

Mindfulness is also not a relaxation technique.  We can do tons of relaxation techniques later, but that won't bring us happiness if we're just  using them to attempt to escape or avoid our emotions. So as you practice mindfulness, focus  your attention on what you are feeling instead of what you want to be feeling.

When we're feeling  distracted or detached from the present moment, we can quickly return to the present by utilizing  our senses. So here comes exercise number two. So for our second activity we're going to  try a very short mindful breathing activity.

So for a moment now just bring your attention  to your breath. Notice what it feels like for your breath to come in, your breath to go out. Now the purpose of this activity is not to change  your breathing; it's to notice it as it is.

But there's something about noticing that leads to  feeling a more relaxed sense of whatever you're experiencing. So for a lot of people, their  breathing starts to get slower and deeper. But again, that's not the goal of the  activity; it's just to notice your breath.

What does it feel like for  the air to come in your nose? What does it feel like for the air to go out? Now, it's normal for your mind to wander.

Like I  said before, the goal of mindfulness is not that your mind goes completely blank but that you  practice returning your attention to what you choose to pay attention to. So for this activity,  your mind might wander. When you notice that your mind has wandered, just gently bring it back  to noticing what it feels like to breathe.

Does the air change temperature  as it comes in and out? Pretend like you've never experienced  breathing before or like you're an alien from a planet where breathing doesn't happen.  Be curious about the experience of breathing.

What does it feel like to breathe? If your mind  wanders, just bring it back to the present moment. And you've just practiced mindfulness. 

That's the second way to do it. The breath can be an anchor for our attention  and our focus. When you find yourself feeling distracted or irritated or agitated, you  can bring yourself back to the present moment by simply paying attention to your  breathing.

And this is one of the most simple, basic ways to practice mindfulness throughout  your day. So now that you understand the basics of mindfulness you can practice this throughout  the day or when experiencing a strong emotion. So take a minute to be mindful.

As you scan your  body, allow those emotions or sensations to be there, and then check for what else is there.  What else is going on? Check in with your body, your mind, and your emotions as if you were  a curious scientist exploring and describing the experience for the first time.

The full  course has many more mindfulness activities. Choose at least one of the following activities  to practice mindfulness while doing one of your daily activities. You can also check out my  grounding skills playlist if you'd like to try a couple of meditations.

The practice of mindfulness  can help you reduce anxiety and depression, can help you get better at feeling your emotions,  and it can help you relax and feel more centered and more rich and more connected to your life.  Thank you for watching, and take care. This video is one skill from my 30-skill course: How to  Process Your Emotions, where I teach 30 of the most essential skills for resolving depression,  anxiety, and improving mental health.

Emotion processing is an essential skill for working  through intense emotions, but most people have never been taught how to do it. I'm putting every  single main video lesson on YouTube for the world to access for free. You watching these videos,  sharing them, contributing to my Patreon and my sponsors make this possible.

If you would like  to access the entire course in one place ad free with its workbook, exercises, downloads, extra  videos, live Q&A's, additional short readings and links to extended resources, the link to  buy the course is in the description below.