Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill Passes the House, GOP Creeps Come Out in Force & Profiting Off Presidency

I hope thank you for watching and thank you for joining us here on um what was another wildly destructive day in Washington DC. You know they pulled another allnighter in the house last night where they passed Trump's big beautiful bill and man oh man if this is the beautiful bill. I'd hate to see the ugly one.

It's I'm not sure which part of the bill is the most beautiful. I don't know if it's the part where we take food from hungry kids or the devastating effect it'll have on college education or the trillions of dollars it will add to our national debt or the almost $700 billion in cuts to Medicaid. Either way, say goodbye to grandma because the bill passed with a vote of 215 to 214 or as Trump called it a landslide.

Two Republicans voted no including Thomas Massie of Kentucky who strongly opposed the bill. He said, "We are not rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic tonight. We're putting coal in the boiler and setting a course for the iceberg.

" And then said, "If something is beautiful, you don't do it after midnight. " Which that's true for me for sure. I think, you know, of course, he is now being threatened.

And it's interesting. There are certain Congress people in the House you see a lot, but when something like this happens, you really get to look at the full bucket of chum, the all the squeaky and creepy crackpots and cooks that we've entrusted with representing the United States. And with that said, welcome to Sick of Fantasy Island.

We are voting for the one big beautiful bill first thing in the morning. This is not just a budget bill. This is the beginning of a great American comeback.

This big, beautiful bill is about caring about America. It's designed to strengthen our national security, fortify our now secure border. So, buckle up, America, and put your seat in the upright position because with the passage of this bill, the golden age of America is ready for takeoff.

Yeah, it's ready for takeoff. Unfortunately, we fired all the air traffic controllers. So, this was um a big win for a little guy.

Magic Mike Johnson managed to pull an early morning victory out of his MAGA hat and he celebrated his victory with a sweet wet kiss on a big orange ass. And today wouldn't be possible without the leadership of of arguably the most powerful and the most successful and the most respected president in the modern era of United States. He was almost able to keep a straight face through that.

Even he started laughing a little after being up all night. Uh Mike Johnson, he went home for a warm glass of milk and 30 minutes of welldeserved softcore porn. While Trump took a victory lap, truththing from his toilet.

The one big beautiful bill has passed the House of Representatives. The bill includes massive tax cuts, no tax on tips, no tax on overtime, funding for the Golden Dome, Trump savings accounts, and Trump savings account. Everything has to be Trump with these people.

They're like the Smurfs. These new Trump savings accounts, they're Trumptastic. I trumpily agree, Papa Trump.

The bill still has to go through to the Senate where they are not as crazy. So, let's hope some measure of reason prevails. One of the things they need to fix with this money is air safety.

As we head into the busiest travel weekends of the year, air travel has never been more stressful. According to the FAA, a radar, radio, or frequency is out of service every other day. So, try not to fly on a Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday, and you should be fine.

Do you think this has anything to do with Trump letting a kid named Big Balls fire all the air traffic people? One air traffic controller in New York wrote a column for a British newspaper saying she avoids flying out of her own airport. She's too scared.

That's reassuring. Between the New York airport and the Shakira measles, there has never been a better time to visit New Jersey. There have now been more than a thousand reported cases of measles in 31 states.

And the New Jersey Department of Health is warning concert goers who went to see Shakira last week at Metife Stadium. They may have been exposed. They were anyone who attended the concert and suspects a measles exposure or illness should call a healthcare provider before going to any medical office or emergency department.

And when you do call, introduce yourself by saying, "Hi, I'm the dumbass who didn't get vaccinated for measles. " I will say it's crazy. And I'm worried about Shakira.

She's 5 foot. She barely bigger than measles. Our Secretary of Health and Human Sacrifice, RFK Jr.

, appeared with President Trump at the White House today to unveil his report on chronic disease that warns about the toxins found in ultrarocessed foods like fried chicken, fast food burgers and fries, pepperoni pizza, soft drinks, ice cream bars, and so on. And Trump sat right next to him listening to all this. Listen, Trump's favorite food is toxins.

His blood type is honey mustard. He's not. I mean, I'm Listen, I'm glad RFK is working on this.

None of it is going to get done when Trump finally figures out he's trying to take away his Doritos. Mark my words, Bobby is out and Diddy is in. That's right.

The um Diddy trial in New York. It's um pretty crazy. And even the courtroom sketches are crazy because this is supposed to be Shawn Combmes.

It looks more like an evil Luther Vandross. Here's another one from a different artist. They This one looks like Diddy knows how bad the drawing's going to be.

It's like, really? You're going to draw me looking like Danny Glover saw a ghost? Why did we settle on sketch as the official courtroom art?

When I get locked up, I want to be sculpted. I would like a courtroom sculpture artist to depict. These drawings look so little like Diddy.

I keep getting confused and thinking Uncle Ben is being tried for sex crimes. He's not. Don't worry.

They shouldn't be making sketches of Diddy. They should be oil painting. Specifically, you know what I tell you?

It's not often that the entire audience predicts the punchline of a joke. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm glad you had fun. This or the sketch artist though.

I guess Diddy's mother complimented the sketch. I wonder if it's the same artist who did Trump when he was on trial because he didn't like those at all. He looked like he melted in those.

Tonight was big Trump's big crypto dinner. He hosted the top 220 investors in his memecoin at his golf club in Virginia. These people gave Trump's business a combined $394 million for this dinner.

In one night, seats went from from $55,000 to $37 million a pop. And no plus ones. That's just by yourself.

The idea that our president had what was basically an auction, not for charity. He doesn't do that. An auction where the winner gets dinner with him is insane.

Reports say most of these people paid with foreign currency, so they're probably not even from this country. And as of now, we have no idea of who they are. On the president's dinner tonight, will the White House commit to making a list of the attendees public so people can see who's paying for that kind of access to the president?

Well, as you know, Gareth, this question has been raised with the president. I have also addressed the dinner tonight. The president is uh attending it in his personal time.

It is not a White House dinner. It's not taking place here at the White House. Uh but certainly I can raise that question and try to get you an answer.

Yes. And that answer will be no. We will not provide any of that information.

Listen, he's only corrupt in his free time, guys. When he's in the Oval Office, he by the book, this is all completely on the up and up. The president is abiding by all conflict of interest laws that are applicable to the president.

And I think everybody, the American public, believe it's absurd for anyone to insinuate that this president is profiting off of the presidency. She's funny, too. She's funny.

Cuz as far as I know, he's the only president I've ever heard of who sells his own Bible and watch. It is absurd to say it's absurd for anyone to insinuate that the president is profiting off of the presidency. But to be fair, to be fair, Donald Trump isn't the first president to use the OAL office to make some extra meme coin.

It has happened before. Oh, hello. This is your favorite president, Honest Abe, with incredible news for you.

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